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Kuyo can't help but feel a pit form in her stomach when the crystal wall closes behind her. She knew the boys would have just kept walking through the walkways that had opened up for them without questioning the reason that they had opened up. None of them ever seemed to consider their own self preservation when left to their own devices, instead all prefering to put their energy into caring for those around them instead.
But she wasn't like that.
Her mother had said it was because of how she had grown up, always looking out for herself and Adya. And then later on, Khaidai and Khajii had become subjected to the same mothering that her brother was. It was a role that she had adopted so easily in their little travelling group as well, especially when it meant looking after both her partners who were both equally reckless at times.
She sighs a little as Keigo and Drak both cross her mind. She knew Keigo would be hating this entire experience. It was a situation he couldn't control and predict the outcome of, or something he could fight his way out of. She had no doubts that Drak would be enjoying this experience on some level. It was a new experience and there was so much rich aether surrounding them, no doubt something that Drak would want to study at some point. The abundance of rich aether made her feel safe. Like nothing would harm her here.
An odd feeling to have given that this was the realm of the dead and she was a living intruder. And yet, it made sense that she would feel that way, no doubt it was to let the dead feel safe when passing over into this realm. A comforting thought, but one that causes Kuyo to dwell on it for slightly too long.
The brief thought crosses her mind as to whether Khaidai had felt the same way when he had passed on, and she leans against the crystal wall to compose herself. She had tried not to think of Khaidai in a long while while they had been dealing with the approach of the Final Days. She never liked the fact that it made her so upset and could cause her such pain in her chest, but knowing how Dynamis was running rampant on the Star's surface she had bottled away her thoughts of him lately. Only allowing herself to think about him those rare moments where she was alone, lighting a candle for him every now and again.
She takes a small breath to focus herself and pushes herself away from the wall, blinking at how cold it was against her skin. The crystal hadn't been like that when she had initially leant against it, and such a sudden change in temperature doesn't bode well. Shaking the thoughts of the worst case scenarios out of her head, Kuyo continues walking.
The thoughts of a new worst case scenario comes to the forefront of Kuyo's mind when she falls backwards onto the crystal walkway. A small grunt of pain escapes her as she lands on her ass, her hands reaching out to stop herself, and instead of coming into contact with a smooth crystal floor; her hands land on a slippery ice surface. She tries to stop herself from sliding down the slope, planting her heels and her palms down but it has little effect. Accepting that she was just meant to slide the last portion; she takes a deep breath and focuses on what could lay ahead for her.
Thoughts of fighting Shiva come to the forefront of her mind and she finds herself hoping that she doesn't have to do that once more. It was hard enough the first time fighting Shiva and she had other people with her that time. She didn't want to do it once more. Especially when she didn't know whether it would take a similar form to the one that Ysayle took, or the one that Ryne had taken. Neither had been pleasant for her after all.
She dusts off her knees, knowing that there was nothing on her tights, but finding comfort in the action as she stands up and looks round, assessing her surroundings. It was something she had picked up from watching Keigo and Adya tank together, and doing the action herself helped her feel less alone.
She takes a step forward once when she realises that there was no immediate danger and steadies herself quickly when she feels herself nearly slip again. Memories of growing up and playing in the snow and ice flash through her mind and she sighs. She didn't want to remember a tribe that she had all but cast out of her brain. It had taken her far too long to unlearn the way they had treated her, and she didn't want to slip back into that mentality.
Shaking her head, she continues walking and finds herself in a small circular room instead. Kuyo frowns a little when she turns and sees that the way she had come into the room has vanished once more. She didn't get what the Aetherial Sea wanted from her with its mind tricks, but it was getting on her last nerve.
"What do you want from me?!" Kuyo shouts as she looks around, trying to see if anything was attempting to corner her now that she had no exit. She can't physically see anything, but she had learnt long ago that didn't mean that there was in fact nothing around. Her voice echoes and she sighs. She didn't know why she had been expecting the dead to give her an answer.
"To say goodbye?" She whips her head round so fast at the voice, that her ponytail swings round and hits her in the face. Stray strands looping and hooking around her horns. She knew that she must look like a mess, but in the moment; she truly didn't care.
It couldn't be him? Could it?
"Khaidai?" Kuyo whispers it, still looking around to find the speaker of the familiar voice. Hoping that he was actually there, and not just a figment of her imagination. She didn't think she could cope if it turned out the Aetherial Sea was using her memory against her.
"The one and only." She smiles hearing him talk again and walks towards the source of the voice, speeding up when she finally sees him. The ice under her feet is no longer a concern to her. She laughs when he grunts when she throws her arms around him, and is pleasantly surprised when he manages to catch her and hold her in mid air. "I didn't expect to see you here so soon."
"I'm not here how you're here, but I didn't expect to run into you." It was the truth. Kuyo hadn't expected to run into Khaidai, she had tried to eliminate that possibility from her mind. She hadn't wanted to get her hopes up, but now that he was right there in front of her, she could feel her heart pounding.
"Well, if you're not here for me, why are you here?" She lets Khaidai stroke her back as he gently lowers her back onto her own two feet, his hand moving to hold one of hers, just like when they were kids.
"Looking for Hydaelyn to get a clue as to how we save the Star." Kuyo keeps her eyes on his face as she talks, looking over every inch of skin. Trying to commit his face to her memory once more, remembering which scars he had before his trial, and which ones were because of his trial. "We're trying to prevent the Final Days."
"Is this what being an adventurer is like?"
"Kind of. We got involved in a bit of a secret society that stops Primals, and we stumbled upon an ancient plan to wreck a cataclysm on the Star, and now we're trying to stop it from happening. Most adventurers don't do this." She smiles a little as she says it, seeing how his eyes sparkled in excitement as she talks. She doesn't mention the other shards or the Ancients, or her being Azem. Khaidai didn't need to know that. It would only confuse him, and make her more inclined to stay behind so that she could explain it to him.
"Is Adya with you?" Kuyo looks up as she feels Khaidai's hands on her hair, realising that he was carefully unhooking her hair from her horns as they talked. It was something that he used to do when they were children and Kuyo had enjoyed it everytime. Drak did that for her now and she loved it just the same.
"He is. He has a husband." She grins as she drops that information, watching as it takes a few seconds for Khaidai to register the information. Kuyo understands the shock that he must be feeling, when Khaidai had last seen them, Adya was nowhere near being in a position to marry, so to hear that he was married was probably a bigger shock than anything.
"To Khajii?"
"No...to Korvus, he's an Azure Dragoon." Kuyo says it softly and laughs a little when she sees his eyes light up. She had forgotten his fixation on the Azure Dragoons and how excited he was about their practices. So to hear that she was travelling with one on a daily basis would be like Starlight coming early for him.
"Adya's married to the Azure Dragoon?!" Khaidai repeats it at a whisper, and Kuyo sees him visibly restrain himself from asking more questions when she nods. She appreciates his restraint this time, not sure whether she would have been able to pass on the information she had learnt about the dragoons from Estinien, Korvus and Jeanluc. "What happened between him and Khajii?" His eyes are still sparkling with excitement, but Kuyo catches that brief look of worry, and she instinctively squeezes his hand out of reassurance.
"After Khajii's trial... he went into shock. He didn't respond to anyone... I was determined to leave the tribe behind now that I had nothing to stay behind for, and Adya left with me so I didn't get into any trouble while Mum and Dad were treating Khajii back at the tribe. I know Adya wrote him letters, but I think the distance ended it between them." She says it softly after a few minutes of silence, having had to think over what she had been told about the breakup. Khajii had told her that their breakup had been for the best because he wasn't good enough for Adya, and Adya had claimed it was because of the distance. She was of the opinion that they had both gotten scared and had ended it rather than dealing with the emotions that they were feeling.
"But they're both happy right?"
"Look at you worrying about us all again." Kuyo laughs a little as she teases him, smiling when he gently pinches her cheek in retaliation. "Adya is happy with Korvus, Khajii is adventuring as a White Mage, he's helped us out a little. He seems happy too, so you can relax."
"And what about you Kuyo?" The question causes Kuyo to pause and she squeezes his hand a little for reassurance. She knew that there was no point in lying. Khaidai knew her too well for her to even think of lying to him. And even if she did lie to him; there was no point. It wasn't going to change anything that had happened, and it wasn't going to undo that she had felt that hurt. She had felt that hurt and grown from it; there was no shame in that.
"I wasn't okay when I left the tribe. I was in a bad place, but travelling helped me with that. Drak helped me realised that there were healthier ways to grieve for you and keep your memory alive." Kuyo can't look at Khaidai as she talks. She knew that he would understand the implication in her words, and she didn't need to see his sad face realising that she had gone through that. She wasn't that girl anymore after all. "Keigo helped me channel that grief into fighting as a Red Mage when I met him too. And now, I enjoy travelling with my husbands and Adya and Korvus, and wouldn't imagine my life any other way."
"Husbands?" She laughs a little hearing Khaidai's shocked voice at the plural and rests her forehead against him. She had forgotten that their tribe had had such a limited world view for what a relationship looked like after so long travelling throughout the Star and the First.
"Drak and Keigo. They came as a pair. I think you'd get on with Drak, but Keigo is just like a more angry Adya, so you'd probably get on with him too!"
"And they make you happy?"
"They do." A silence hangs between the pair for a few minutes, neither wanting to break the moment between them. "I wish you could have met them." Kuyo says eventually and lets out a squeak when Khaidai pulls her in close.
"As long as they make you happy, I'm okay not meeting them. I'm glad someone is there to take care of you now that I can't." Khaidai kisses the top of her head as he says it, barely batting an eyelid when Kuyo grips at his shirt. He knew that the action comforted her, she'd done it enough to him as a kid, that her claws had made tiny holes in some of his clothes. "I'm sorry I never said goodbye to you. "
"That wasn't your fault. Khajii and Mum have told me how injured you were. It was a miracle you even made it back to the tribe alive." Kuyo flicks Khaidai's cheek as she speaks, smiling slightly when he laughs a little at her. "You did a brave thing, even if at the time I thought you were the most reckless bastard that I had ever known."
"I'm still sorry." Kuyo can't help it, she rolls her eyes hearing him saying it. They both knew that it wasn't his fault, but the fact that he still blames himself for it was just so quintessentially Khaidai that she can't help herself.
"Then say it to me now before I go back on my journey."
"I don't want too. I'd rather you didn't have to leave me, but I can't be selfish enough to take you away from everyone and doom the Star." Khaidai takes both Kuyo's hands into his as he talks, making sure that she kept maintaining eye contact with him the entire time. He needed her to know how serious he was about this. He didn't know how long it would be before they saw each other again after all. "Give Adya my love too, but goodbye Kuyo, I'll wait here for you."
"Goodbye Khaidai." She gives his hand one more gentle squeeze and starts walking away from him slowly. She keeps her eyes focused on the wall ahead, knowing that if she turned and saw him again, she would cave and want to stay. The tears flowing down her cheeks affirmed that to her.
A few years ago, she would have jumped at the chance to stay behind with Khaidai. She would have given anything for that chance. But now, she had her small found family and she didn't want to abandon them or the Star.
So for now, she would settle knowing that Khaidai was waiting for her when she eventually crossed over the Aetherial Sea once more.