Work Text:
HE’S A RAINBOW
When Chishiya was in primary school, tragedy struck his sensei, Murakami Samaru. His wife, only aged twenty-six, had succumbed to Cancer in a few months. Murakami, who had once been a lively and outgoing person, passionate about his job and good with children, had become a shadow of himself after losing his beloved wife.
Chishiya could remember him walking into class, with sunken eyes and pale skin, dressed in wrinkled clothes that smelled foul. One day he suddenly disappeared, being replaced by a new sensei. The children had been relieved while Chishiya had become curious. His father had suggested that Murakami had joined his wife, which Chishiya had not understood at the time. How could the living join the dead?
It turned out that his father, for once, had been wrong. Murakami came back one year later and resumed his job as a teacher. He had walked into class with a sincere smile on his face, one that reached his eyes, eyes as bright as they once had been. When Chishiya had asked about his absence, Murakami had told him that he had been on an adventure.
He had become a pilgrim, walking the Kumano Kodo, exploring one of the many paths that led to the Kumano Temple. Murakami’s soul had died alongside his wife’s body, so he had begun a quest for what he had lost, meaning. He never explained how or why, but he told them that he had come back home a different man. He had understood the value of life, made amends, and promised to start living again. Spring had come, he had said.
Chishiya, unlike other children, had not been impressed by Murakami’s story. He wasn’t religious, believing only in the medicine books his parents gifted him. The heart was nothing, but a muscle, and he wasn’t sure there was such a thing as a meaningful life. He had rolled his eyes at his sensei, wondering in which psychiatric hospital Murakami had really been spending his time in.
Years later, Chishiya still wasn’t a religious man, but his attitude had changed. Murakami Samaru had been the first person he had thought about when waking up in a hospital bed after surviving a meteor, understanding his past sensei at last. He may have traveled to the Kumano Temple in his coma, because he had woken up a different man. He had understood the value of life, and he would make amends, promising to lead a meaningful life from then onwards.
Chishiya was under no illusions about his first twenty-seven years on earth. He had been a bastard, a real wanker who believed himself to be better than anybody else, a scumbag who willingly ignored despicable acts being committed. His life had been insipid, and he hadn’t deserved any better. He wasn’t aiming to become Mother Teresa, but he could try to be slightly less of a douche.
So, while he was still lying in his hospital bed, recovering from an injury that should have been fatal, he had written his resignation letter. It was short and polite, unlike anything Chishiya wanted to tell his boss. He wished he could have told him to “fuck off greedy assassin of children”, but that wouldn’t have been professional. Once he was out of the hospital, standing on his two feet, he had gone straight to the press, making the hospital’s shenanigans public. He had told everybody how rich families had bought their place at the top of the transplant list, depriving the poorer kids of any chance of survival. The victims gathered to take the hospital to court, ready to fight the windmills as Don Quixote once had. He had agreed to testify, trying to atone for his many sins. No clinic had wanted to hire him since.
That’s how Chishiya Shuntaro, once Tokyo’s youngest and most demanded cardiothoracic surgeon, had ended up doing pro bono work at a free clinic during nights.
The accident had impacted his life in other mysterious ways. There were now strange people scattered through his once lonely existence. It had all started at the hospital where the survivors had been offered group therapy. Chishiya’s first instinct had been to refuse, but then he had remembered his promise. Nothing would change if he kept doing what he had always done, so he let out a resigned sigh and accepted, even dragging his roommate, Niragi Suguru. They had set up a room for the survivors, chairs forming a circle in the middle of it. Chishiya had sat silently, observing the people that kept coming in, taking mental notes.
Chishiya didn’t know any of those people. He had never met them and yet, he seemed to nurture intense feelings towards some of them. Niragi, for example, made him feel ambivalent. Chishiya had felt deeply repulsed by him at first, but then he’d also felt a strange kind of kinship, as if they came from the same black hole of nothingness. Then there was a girl named Kuina with dreadlocks on her head. She was younger than him, in every meaning of the term, but they had instantly connected. She seemed fun, like the kind of people Chishiya would seek whenever he went partying once in a while, whenever being a heart surgeon would beat him to his knees and keep him there. Kuina seemed very attached to Ann, a woman who had barely made it, brushing death even more than he had. He had instantly felt some respect towards her, recognizing in her an intellectual level akin to his. He felt mostly indifferent towards Aguni and Akane, and barely anything towards most of the other survivors. Some names on the list of casualties though made his heart slightly tinge, like Ippei Oki, a boy he had never met and would never meet. Usagi had been trickier. He had felt kind of neutral towards her, no bad feelings but not positive ones either. He immediately knew she was a good person, but there was nothing between them, nothing except for Arisu.
Arisu was a question mark Chishiya didn’t seem to be able to solve. He reminded him of a riddle his father had once given him when he turned eight years old. His father had barely talked to him as a child, mostly ignoring his existence, focusing on his career, but he had left on his desk one riddle a year until he left home. They were supposed to strengthen Chishiya’s mind alongside his medicine books.
“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid and normal people look like celebrities. I turn you pancakes brown, and I make your champagne bubble. If you squeeze me, I’ll pop. If you’ll look at me, you’ll pop. Can you solve the riddle?”
Chishiya had spent countless hours coming up with different answers, finding none of them satisfying. It had taken him up almost a full year to understand the mind trick at play. The usual ending for a riddle of that kind would have been to ask, “Who I am?” but instead it ended with “Can you solve the riddle?”. No, he couldn’t, because there wasn’t an answer. Chishiya hated riddles that couldn’t be answered, and that’s exactly what Arisu seemed to be.
Chishiya had felt a powerful pull towards the boy as soon as he had laid eyes on him. He had entered their first group session alongside Usagi, dressed in casual gray joggers and a duck-egg blue polo shirt. He had strolled into the room casually, softly smiling at the girl. He had barely talked at all during the session, observing the people around him like Chishiya did. He was a pretty boy, with doe eyes and a gentle smile, tan skin, and dark hair, proudly wearing his heart on his sleeve. He was everything Chishiya used to despise. He harbored every quality Chishiya used to laugh about. He was soft, and Chishiya didn’t do soft, and yet, there was something there that Chishiya couldn’t name nor ignore.
Why did a boy he had never met aroused in him all sorts of feelings when he had felt none for most of his life? Attraction. Gratitude. Respect. Complicity. Fear. Guilt. Who was this boy? There was a feeling of recognition in him that Chishiya couldn’t shake.
“Anagnorisis.”
Chishiya turned towards Ann who had caught him looking at Arisu for longer than he should during his rehabilitation session.
“Huh?”
“Anagnorisis. It means recognition. It’s a term that refers to the moment in Greek tragedies in which the hero suddenly realizes something, like when Electra recognizes Orestes. I don’t know what’s happening here, but I keep having the same feeling towards some of you. It’s like I know you, even though that’s impossible.”
Chishiya had accepted the mystery Arisu was and moved on while obeying his irrational heart, keeping the brunette as close as he could.
Being part of a group was strange.
Chishiya had always been an exception. The richest kid in class. The youngest to graduate. The coldest. The smartest. The less loved. The less loving. The loneliest. He had always been an island, never part of something. Despite taking pride in his uniqueness, Chishiya had to admit that there was something comforting in being part of a group for once. He still was an exception, seeing as most people being at Shibuya crossing at the time of the impact had died, but he wasn’t alone in this exceptionality.
He even ended up having what people would label as friends. Kuina had set up a chat group. They would meet at least once a week to get drinks, dinner or take a walk down the streets of Tokyo. There was no pretense between them, no need for it.
It happens on a Tuesday. They’re at some bar in downtown Tokyo and Arisu keeps looking outside, giving the vibes of a lost child looking for something. The others don’t seem to notice, but Chishiya can’t notice anything else. He can see Arisu’s phone from where he’s sitting, noticing an opened chat on the screen.
Ryouhei, I set up a job interview for you. 8 am sharp. Do not be late. Don’t shame me the way you used to.
Chishiya resists the urge to roll his eyes and whispers as Kuina laughs loudly next to them, sharing some joke with the others.
“I thought you already had found a job”.
Arisu looks at him, unfazed by Chishiya’s disrespect of his privacy.
“I have, but my father thinks it’s not good enough”.
“Isn’t it a student part time job? It’s not supposed to be good”.
Arisu smiles at him, shaking his head.
“Do you enjoy it?”
“Huh?”
“Do you want to go to that job interview or not?”
“I don’t. I like my job as a waiter just fine for now, but I don’t want to let my father down. I don’t want to keep living with him if I refuse to go to that job interview”.
“That’s easy. Move in with me”.
Arisu almost snorts the coke he’s drinking through his nose.
“I’m doing pro bono; I wouldn’t mind some help with the rent”.
Technically, Chishiya isn’t lying. He doesn’t need the help, since he was born rich, but he could use it since he’s making a grand total of zero money at the moment.
“Don’t you have a one bed apartment?”
“I do, but I work at night and you study and work during the day. Plus, we can take turns on the couch whenever we’re both home at the same time. It’s not ideal, but it might be better than your current predicament.”
Chishiya shrugs as he says it, like it’s not a big deal.
“You may be onto something”.
“Great, then it’s a deal. You can move in as soon as you want. You should tell your dad there won’t be any interview. We need a roommate’s agreement though”.
“A roommate’s agreement?”
“Sure, you look messy as fuck, we need some ground rules”.
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how it begins.
Arisu moves in the next night, his father’s disapproving stare as he closes the door of his childhood home behind him haunting his every step. Once he opens the door with the key set Chishiya had left under the mat for him, he is finally able to exhale the breath he’s been holding for days now.
His father and brother had been welcoming since the accident. In fact, they had ushered him with more love in the last weeks than they had in the last decade. However, something didn’t feel right. Too much had happened for Arisu to simply come back to his old room, a room which seemed inhabited by ghosts. His mother, Chota, Karube, himself… There wasn’t a corner of that house that didn’t bring bittersweet memories to him.
Arisu couldn’t forget, but he didn’t want to live trapped in his past either. He needed to move forward and Chishiya’s flat, their flat from then onwards, seemed as good a place as any.
Chishiya’s not there. He must be working at the clinic. Arisu goes to the bedroom, finding walls painted in a warm gray and a king size bed in the middle of the room, a bedside table on each side of it. There are books on one of them, some about medicine and a couple about ethics. The other bedside table is bare, clearly intended for Arisu to use. There’s also a wardrobe in the bedroom. Half of it is filled with clothes in different variations of gray and white, and half is empty, waiting for Arisu to put his own stuff into it. His clothes, more colorful, will slightly clash with Chishiya’s.
The bedroom, like the rest of the house, is pretty much bare. There aren’t any photos, paintings or posters. No items reveal anything personal about Chishiya and Arisu finds himself thinking about the blonde. He knows the deepest parts of him, but he keeps ignoring the small stuff. He wonders whether Chishiya favors winter over summer or if he hates Wednesdays as much as Arisu does. He may find out the answers by living with him.
On the living-room’s table there’s a single sheet of paper with a blue pen placed next to it. There’s also a yellow post-it on it.
I’m not into texting, so let’s try this instead. I drafted a flatmate’s agreement for us. Feel free to cross whatever you don’t agree with and to add whatever you’re missing.
Dr. Chishiya.
[Roommates agreement]
1. Arisu Ryouhei will get the bed at night on working days. Chishiya Shuntarou will get the bed on his very rare -too rare really- free days.
Can I have your timetable to know in advance?
A.
I wish that actually existed.
Dr. Chishiya.
2. The one getting laid gets the bed, whether it’s his turn or not. He’ll signal his activities by putting a socket around the doorknob.
This seems stupid. What if one of us gets laid all the time?
A.
That would happen to be me, and I work most nights so don’t suffer.
Dr. Chishiya.
3. The couch’s right side is Chishiya’s spot and must be respected at ALL TIMES. (Nobody gets to sit in MY spot. Sleep on the left side).
Ok, Sheldon Cooper.
A.
Thank you, I AM that level of smart.
Dr. Chishiya.
4. There are three shelves in the fridge. The first one is for Chishiya’s personal use, the second one for Arisu’s personal use and the third one is for shared items.
5. The thermostat must be kept at 72 degrees at all times. NO EXCUSES.
6. NO PARTIES (especially birthday parties. DO NOT LISTEN TO KUINA).
What if it’s your birthday? Am I not allowed to throw a party for your birthday? A.
I don’t do birthdays, especially not mine.
Dr. Chishiya.
7. Kids must not enter the flat unless there’s an Armageddon they need to seek shelter from. This is an adult sanctuary that should be respected.
Weren’t you a pediatric surgeon?
A.
You’re a waiter, does that mean you like every human being who likes to drink coffee?
Dr. Chishiya.
8. Pets are banned. Pets are like kids, chaotic creatures. BANNED.
My inner kid is pouting.
A.
Your inner kid is not allowed in this house. Kids are banned, remember?
Dr. Chishiya.
9. Arisu and Chishiya will split rent and bills. 50%.
You don’t need to do that.
Dr. Chishiya.
I absolutely do.
A.
10. Arisu gets the bed when he has exams whether Chishiya is getting laid or not.
HOW DARE YOU.
Dr. Chishiya.
Go to theirs.
A.
Post-its glued over different surfaces, all over the house, become their own way of communication.
[Wednesday, on the bathroom mirror]
Was it necessary to spill toothpaste all over my towel?
A.
I don’t know, Arisu, was it necessary for you to leave the cap off?
Dr. Chishiya
[Friday on the bedside table]
How can you make so much noise when you’re so tiny?
A.
I am not tiny. You’re just freaking tall. Also, get earplugs.
Dr. Chishiya.
[Saturday on the fridge]
STOP. RAIDING THE FRIDGE. How are you so slim?
Dr. Chishiya.
I’m not raiding shit, I’m eating. You barely do.
A.
I don’t have time to, Arisu. I have more important things to do than to stuff my face with food. GO BUY ME YOGURTS (the RIGHT brand).
Arisu does.
[Monday on the fridge]
You make me buy yogurts of the most expensive brand in the whole supermarket then you feed them to your lover. I hate you.
A.
Lover? I don’t fuck the same person twice. Ever. They can hardly be called lovers.
Also, WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE ATE MY YOGURT?! I gave him money to get a cab and told him to get lost.
THE AUDACITY. I shouldn’t have let him come.
Angry Chishiya.
TOO. MANY. DETAILS.
Hearing his moans was ENOUGH.
A.
Do not be such a virgin, Arisu. Go get laid. Take Usagi on a date.
You’ve been dancing around each other for long enough, it’s getting dreadful.
Dr. Chishiya.
[Wednesday, on the bathroom’s mirror]
We need to talk about toilet paper orientation.
Dr. Chishiya.
Are you kidding me right now?
A.
The toilet paper needs to hang BEHIND the roll.
Dr. Chishiya.
You’re a PSYCHOPATH.
A.
[Tuesday, on the living room’s table]
You’re studying wrong.
Dr. Chishiya.
Excuse me?
A.
You left your notes on the bed the other day (SO FREAKING MESSY).
They’re too detailed. You’re putting too much effort in it. It’s not sustainable.
Listen to the lecture then mark down what’s important every ten minutes or so.
Trust me. I spent a decade in college.
Dr. Chishiya.
Ps: shall you leave your notes on the bed once more, I’ll destroy them.
Thank you, I guess?
Ps: fine, I’ll just tell my teacher my dog ate my homework.
A.
[Thursday, on the fridge]
Why are you writing on colorful post-its? I had only yellow ones in the house. Now there’s pink, orange, blue, green and even pastel-colored ones around.
STOP IT.
Dr. Chishiya.
Nope, this house needs color. YOU need color. I’m gonna splash all the gray surfaces of this house with pastel post-its.
A.
What are you? A rainbow boy?
Fine. Suit yourself.
Dr. Chishiya.
[Friday, on the door]
Why is there a tiny kitty plush on my keychain?
Dr. Chishiya.
Our keychains are exactly the same, which is confusing as hell. I bought a puppy plush for my keychain. It seemed fitting.
A.
I’d rather be a dangerous predator, like a cheetah, rather than a pink kitty. Why am I pink?
Dr. Chishiya.
Cheetahs are the fastest animals on the planet. You wouldn’t run to save your life.
You eat, take the longest naps whenever you can, hisses at strangers and kids, and purrs when you roll yourself into a blanket burrito. You’re a kitty.
Pink is cute. I like pink. It suits you.
A.
You’re too much of an asshole to be a puppy.
Ps: thank you, I guess.
Dr. Chishiya.
You’re welcome grumpy kitten.
A.
[Tuesday, next to the phone]
Your mother called. She said there’s an opening at the hospital. Do your parents have a whole ass hospital? Are you rich? Why are you sharing this flat?
A.
I’ve changed the phone number twice this year. I don’t get how she keeps figuring out the new one. Next time she calls, you can tell her to take that opening up the ass.
Dr. Chishiya.
[Saturday morning, on the fridge]
Care to explain why there were like five empty cans of coke scattered through the house?
Dr. Chishiya.
What does it matter? I’ll throw them in the trash next time, all right? Don’t get your panties in a twist!
A.
Last time you drank that many cans you locked yourself in and sobbed your eyes out for two days. Is everything all right?
Dr. Chishiya.
Oh. Sorry, I thought you were being an asshole, like usual. I’m just tired. Taking six hour shifts and going to college is harder than I thought.
A.
I’m not working tonight. We’re going out. Be ready at nine. SHARP.
Dr. Chishiya.
[Sunday morning, on the living room’s table]
Why did I just see my social psychology teacher’s ass walking into the bathroom? Chishiya, tell me you DID NOT.
I TOLD YOU NOT TO LAST NIGHT WHEN WE RAN INTO HIM AT THE CLUB.
A.
Do what? Him? I totally did. That ass is a piece of art. I don’t know how you focus on anything but it in his class. You could try him.
Dr. Ass.
CHISHIYA.
A.
I mean it. I think he was into fucking me because we literally sleep in the same bed. He moaned your name twice while I sucked him.
Dr. Blowjob.
I HATE YOU. YOU’RE AN AWFUL HUMAN BEING.
A.
[Wednesday, on the fridge]
The landlord called. He said he’s raising the rent by 50 dollars per month.
A.
Manageable.
Dr. Chishiya.
Chishiya, why did you lie to me about rent?
A.
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Mr. Oblivious.
We agreed to split rent and bills, but it turns out rent is like double what you told me it was. I should have guessed, flats like this one in the center of Tokyo aren’t cheap.
You should have told me Chishiya, I can’t afford this.
A.
Bullshit. I can.
I said a bit of help with the rent would be nice, not that I needed you to pay half of it. You were the one to come up with that stupid 50% rule. Plus, you don’t even get a whole room to yourself.
Dr. Chishiya.
You lied to me. I barely pay 20% of the rent.
A.
Do we have trust issues now? 20% is enough. Want to help more? Cook.
I’m fucking starved whenever I come home from work in the morning.
Mr. Hungry.
Arisu does. Chishiya can barely conceal a smile when he comes home the next morning, finding a post-it on a food tray covered with plastic film.
[Thursday, on the food tray]
Let’s say I’ll make up for my non existing culinary abilities.
A.
Chishiya throws the film away and finds himself staring at a meatless omurice, some edamame and some dango for dessert. He takes a fork and the tray with him as he goes to sit on the sofa, turning the TV to finally relax after 24 excruciating hours.
Not bad for someone with non-existing culinary abilities. How did you know I was vegetarian?
Mr. meatless.
I live with you, Chishiya. I’ve noticed that you never buy meat.
A.
The food keeps coming and Chishiya keeps eating it.
[Saturday, on the bedside table]
What happened yesterday? I don’t remember a thing.
A.
That’s because you got plastered with a single vodka, it was pathetic. I need to teach you how to drink. Anyways, congratulations.
Dr. Chishiya.
FOR WHAT?!
A.
Usagi, twice the man that you are, FINALLY made a move on you. You’re officially NOT single. I guess you’ll be using the bed more from now on.
Dr. Chishiya.
ARE. YOU. FUCKING. KIDDING. ME. What do I do?
A.
You’re asking ME? I’ve already told you. I’ve never fucked the same person twice.
Dr. Chishiya.
[Tuesday, on the fridge]
Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday
Who could hang a name on you?
When you change with every new day
Still, I’m gonna miss you.
Singer Chishiya.
Did you just quote the Rolling Stones to me?
A.
Do you like them?
Dr. Chishiya.
Karube used to put them on all the time in the car.
A.
I’m sorry. It wasn’t my intention to make you feel blue.
Dr. Chishiya.
Don’t. It’s nice to remember them through good stuff.
A.
[Thursday, on the living-room’s table]
I got the bed yesterday, even though you weren’t working.
A.
I’m well aware since I slept on the couch.
Dr. Chishiya.
I hope the noise didn’t disturb you.
A.
I get it, Arisu, you got laid. Want a medal?
Dr. Chishiya.
[Friday, on the fridge]
I got fired. My boss is closing the café.
A.
You’ll find something else. Don’t be so dramatic.
Dr. Chishiya.
I won’t be able to pay shit, not even my 20%.
A.
You feed me. You’re already doing better than my parents ever did.
Dr. Chishiya.
I feel useless.
A.
Don’t you feel like crying?
Don’t you feel like crying like crying like crying?
Come on baby, cry to me.
Dr. Jagger.
You’re so dumb for a genius doctor. Stop with the songs already.
A.
I’m not working tonight. We’re getting pizza. It’s on me.
Dr. Chishiya.
Friday becomes pizza day at the boy’s household.
[Monday, on the living-room’s table]
The fridge is filled with orange juice. Why?
A.
Don’t you like orange juice? YOU’RE HEARTLESS.
Dr. Chishiya.
Hajime, my brother, is the same as you. Orange juice is the only thing he’ll drink when he’s sick.
A.
What are you? A detective?
Dr. Chishiya.
You’ve got two choices here, Chishiya. You can either take the night off or I’ll go to the clinic and explain to your patients that their doctor is sick and trying to infect them with some wonky virus.
A.
I KNEW IT. I KNEW THOSE DOE EYES WERE EVERYTHING BUT INNOCENT.
Dr. Chishiya.
Please allow me to introduce myself,
I’m a man of wealth and taste.
I’ve been around for a long, long years,
Stole a million man’s soul and faith.
A.
DO.NOT.USE.THE.ROLLING.STONES.AGAINST.ME.
Dr. Chishiya.
Chishiya ends up picking option one, finding himself confined to his bed by a dotting Arisu who won’t leave him alone.
“Open your mouth and lift your tongue”.
Chishiya looks at him, a frown on his face and anger in his eyes.
“Oh, please. Give me some credit! I would resort to something less childish if I wanted to trick you”.
“Then you won’t have a problem humoring me. Open your mouth and lift your tongue”.
“I hate you”.
Chishiya opens his mouth and lifts his tongue, revealing the pill under it. Arisu takes it and put it in the back of Chishiya’s mouth, handing him a glass of orange juice and making sure he swallows the pill this time.
“I like you too, even though you’re the worst patient ever”.
“What were you expecting? Doctors are the worst patients. I’m feeling better already, I’ll call the clinic and tell them I’ll be in tonight”.
Arisu’s hand on his chest stops Chishiya from getting up.
“You are going to lay down, watch some stupid show on Netflix and sleep. You won’t be putting a foot outside unless your fever gets under 37.5º”.
“That is ridiculous and not scientifically based! There are other variables to consider when checking on a patient’s health status than fever”.
“Very interesting, see if I care. Lay down. I’ll cook dinner while you sleep. I’ll also call the clinic to let them know that you’re still sick and need the rest.”
Chishiya pouts and crosses his arms in front of his chest the way a three-year-old would.
“Are you pouting?”
“You’re being unreasonable, and I am sick. I am allowed to pout, you evil jailer”.
Arisu leans down and kisses Chishiya’s forehead as he gets up, leaving an astounded Chishiya behind as he closes the door to the bedroom.
[Tuesday, on the bedside table]
Are you all right?
A.
Why wouldn’t I be?
Dr. Chishiya.
It’s been a while since one of your one-night stands’ screaming wakes me up at night.
A.
I haven’t found pretty enough faces lately. I’m touched you’re so invested in my sex life.
Dr. Chishiya.
YOU WISHED.
A.
Kind of.
Dr. Chishiya.
4.
[Wednesday, next to the phone]
Your mother called once again.
A.
I told you to tell her to take the position up her ass.
Dr. Chishiya.
She didn’t call to offer YOU a position, she offered ME a job.
A.
You’re not taking it.
Dr. Chishiya.
Why the hell not? I get you’re not on the best of terms, but I need the money.
A.
You’ll find something else.
Dr. Chishiya.
Not as good as she’s offering though.
A.
No bargain with the devil is good, Arisu. She’ll end up owning your soul.
Dr. Chishiya.
Let’s talk about it when we’re both home.
A.
I’ll throw you out. If you take her up on the offer, I’ll throw you out.
Chishiya.
[Friday, next to the phone]
Stop ignoring me, Arisu. It’s pizza night, you never miss pizza night, not even to take Usagi on a date.
Chishiya.
[Saturday, on the fridge]
ARISU. DON’T BE CHILDISH.
Chishiya.
I’m the one being childish? The moment I suggest doing something you don’t like you threaten me with throwing me out.
FUCK YOU. You’re not better than my father.
A.
You don’t know her the way I do, Arisu. She’s trying to get to ME through YOU. It’s a TRAP. You can’t be this naïve, Arisu. You’re not THAT stupid.
Chishiya.
You could have told me that instead of blackmailing me.
Also, now I’m stupid?
Why do you put up with me if I’m so dumb?
A.
You’re IMPOSSIBLE.
Chishiya.
Impossibly DUMB apparently. What else is new?!
A.
I like your DUMB face. THAT’S WHAT’S NEW.
Chishiya.
[Monday, on the living room’s table]
Why are there empty pots of chicken soup all over the kitchen?
Dr. Chishiya.
Can’t I like chicken soup or what? The empty pots are in the trash. I’m not being messy so don’t be an asshole.
A.
I’m just asking because the only time I’ve seen you eating chicken soup was at Usagi’s house and you had a high fever.
Offended Dr. Chishiya.
Oh.
A.
Arisu, are you sick? There’s a reason I sign every note with “Dr. Chishiya”, you know? I AM a doctor. You DO live with a doctor. Take advantage.
DR. CHISHIYA.
When Chishiya comes back home, it’s the wee hours of the morning. He can hear Tokyo’s traffic starting as he leaves the clinic. Nocturnal and diurnal creatures cross each other’s paths as he makes his way home after an excruciating 24-hour shift. Chishiya has been awake for over thirty hours, and he can’t wait to throw himself on his big and comfy bed. He still goes to check the fridge first though, waiting for Arisu’s answer to his last note. There isn’t any.
Stubborn brat.
Chishiya throws his things over the rack before walking towards the bedroom. It’s a tiny miracle he stops to look at the bed before just letting himself fall on it. The bed is covered in more blankets than he can count and there seems to be a lump underneath it all. He approaches carefully, discovering a sleeping Arisu. His body is shivering and he’s breathing with slight difficulty, discomfort written all over his face. Chishiya sighs as he sits carefully on the bed while opening the bedside table’s drawer, retrieving a thermometer. Chishiya puts it on Arisu’s forehead dedicatedly, trying to not disturb his already troubled sleep.
39,8º.
Shit. That's a very high fever. The idiot must have been incubating something for at least a week. Chishiya goes into Dr. mode immediately, putting his coat back on to go to the pharmacy. They didn’t have much medicine at home despite him being a doctor; the shoemaker’s son always goes barefoot.
Once home he prepares a cold compress, some Tylenol, a tall glass of orange juice and heads to the bedroom. He grabs Arisu’s neck and presses slightly, whispering his name until the boy half opens his eyes, trying to understand what’s happening and clearly failing to do so.
“Mom?”
Chishiya smiles as he shakes his head. Arisu must be delirious because of his high fever.
“Sure, whatever suits you. Open your mouth.”
“Don’t wanna. Hurts.”
“What hurts?”
“Everything.”
“That’s why you need to open your mouth.”
Arisu obeys reluctantly, the little brat that he is, and Chishiya shoves a couple of pills before forcing some orange juice down his throat.
“Okay, you can go back to sleep for now. I guess you get the bed, even though you’ve been stupid as hell and don’t deserve it. I should carry you to the couch and abandon you there.”
“I don’t wanna go to school. Five more minutes mom.”
Chishiya snorts as he caresses Arisu’s nape with care, while directing him to lay back down.
“That’s fine baby boy, no school for you today. You can have five more hours.”
Arisu babbles some words of gratitude as he sinks his face into the pillow. He’s out cold in a few seconds.
Chishiya does some cleaning and goes shopping, stocking up on chicken soup, before taking a nap on the couch. It’s nothing like the eight to nine hours of sleep he needs, but it’s better than no sleep at all.
He gets up and heats some chicken soup for two. He then goes to check on Arisu who’s still sleeping and takes his temperature once again. 39.5º. Slightly better, but still too high. He decides to let him sleep some more as he eats his chicken soup in their living-room. He grimaces as he tastes it, wondering why Arisu would do something so nasty, especially when sick.
Arisu ends up waking a couple of hours afterwards, rubbing his eyes as he strolls through the living-room.
“Where are you going? Back to bed”.
“I need water”.
“I’ll bring you water. Back to bed. Doctor’s orders”.
Arisu, still pretty out of it, obeys and goes back to the bedroom while Chishiya takes a water bottle from the fridge and trails behind him. The blonde drops the bottle on the bedside table as the brunette gets under the covers.
“I know you’re not the most tasteful person, but the soup you’ve been eating is shit even by your standards. Why the hell do you like that?”
Arisu blushes and casts his eyes down, worrying Chishiya for a second. He’s just asked a question about chicken soup, nothing emotional, right? Chishiya’s therapist had said he was making progress with identifying emotions; had he been lying?
“You’re right, it does taste like shit.”
“Then why do you eat it? Is this one of those self-punishment things you tend to do?”
Arisu shoots him a glare.
“Oh, come on, I live with you. I know about your Jesus Christ Syndrome, wanting to sacrifice yourself for all of Humanity every damn day..”
Arisu rolls his eyes as he exhales.
“My mom used to make me chicken soup when I was little and sick. It tastes nothing like hers, obviously, but it’s a good memory. It’s comforting.”
Oh. Chishiya’s therapist had also said he still needed to work on his big and smartass mouth. He says nothing as he hands Arisu the bowl of soup.
“Take some Tylenol before going back to sleep. It’s in the drawer”
The next time Arisu wakes up, it’s already dark outside. There’s a delicious smell coming from the kitchen, and it’s enough for Arisu to get his sore muscles out of the bed, extracting himself from the blanket cocoon he has been living in for the past day and a half.
Chishiya is standing in the kitchen, stirring a pot with a wooden spoon. There’s smoke coming from it and a pile of dirty dishes in the sink.
“You’re up, that’s a good sign. The fever must have gone down. Take a seat, it’s almost ready.”
When the smell truly heats Arisu’s nostrils, he feels like crying.
It’s a familiar smell. There are unshed tears in his eyes as he obeys Chishiya’s order, sitting down. It’s only a couple of minutes before Chishiya puts two bowls of hot soup on the table. Arisu can see real pieces of chicken floating in his and none in Chishiya. The doctor smiles slightly at him as he hands him a little spoon.
“This way you’ll eat slower. We don’t want you to hurt your stomach. Wait until it cools down a bit, it might be too hot.”
Arisu stares dumbly at Chishiya, holding the spoon in his hand.
“It’s not your mother’s, but I’m certain it will be better than that canned shit you were buying”.
It’s delicious.
Only four people have ever cooked for Arisu: his mother, Karube, Usagi and now Chishiya.
“I’d hug you, but I’m full of viruses at the moment.”
Chishiya smirks at him, a softness in his eyes Arisu is not used to.
[Friday, on the living-room’s table]
There’s a cat in the flat. Why is there a cat in the flat? Should I feed him?
A.
It’s a SHE and I fed her once before going to work. I’ll feed her again when I come back.
Dr. Chishiya.
I thought pets were banned. I quote “Pets, like kids, are chaotic creatures and are BANNED.” She’s adorable. Let’s keep her. What’s her name?
A.
She followed me, okay? She followed me all the way home from the freaking hospital. What was I supposed to do, Arisu? I’m not freaking a monster.
Plus, she’s not chaotic. She’s a true princess! She knows how to use the litter.
Wait until I train her, she’s gonna rule the world.
Cat’s parent Chishiya.
I’m sure she’s gonna rule the world, one meowing at a time.
Let’s call her Hime if she’s a princess.
A.
I like it. It seems fitting. DO NOT LET HER SLEEP IN THE BED.
Dr. Chishiya.
[Saturday, on the bed]
ARISU. WHAT DID I SAY?
Dr. Chishiya.
What? She followed me all the way from the couch to the bed.
What was I supposed to do, Chishiya? I’m not a freaking monster.
A.
5.
[Wednesday, on the fridge]
I got a new job at the convenience store down the street.
A.
That’s great! I TOLD YOU SO.
Dr. Chishiya.
I also got dumped.
A.
You were dating?
Dr. Chishiya.
USAGI.
A.
Oh. I figured you were already broken up.
You never talk about her anymore and you’re not all lovey dovey when we all hang out as a group.
Why did you get dumped? Did she figure out you’re not able to climb mountains?
Dr. Chishiya.
Apparently I’m spending too much time with you.
She said, and I quote, “Chishiya is much more your girlfriend than I am anyways”.
A.
You could’ve told me we were dating, Arisu.
Am I expected to break my “only one night per person” rule?
Dr. Chishiya.
You’re insufferable. Kuina’s right.
I’ll throw you the biggest birthday party when the time comes.
I’ll invite every kid I know AND their pets.
A.
DON’T YOU DARE.
Take your revenge on Usagi if you must.
Dr. Chishiya.
It’s YOUR fault if I’m single.
A.
Honey, it’s not my fault that I’m that much more interesting than she is.
Dr. Chishiya.
[Saturday, on the living-room’s table]
Oh, help me, please doctor, I’m damaged.
There’s a pain where there once was a heart,
It’s sleeping, it’s a beatin’,
Can’t ya please tear it out, and preserve it,
Right there in that jar?
A.
Quoting the Rolling Stones again?
I need a love to keep me happy,
I need a love to keep me happy,
Baby, baby keep me happy,
Baby, baby keep me happy.
Dr. Jagger.
Dinner tonight? I could use the company if you’re free.
A.
[Sunday, on the bedside table]
I think we should talk about what happened yesterday. Just tell me when you’ll be home. I’ll wait.
A.
What do you want to talk about? I don’t remember anything worthy happening.
Dr. Chishiya.
DO. NOT. PLAY. ME. I am a sensitive person.
A.
It was a kiss, Arisu, not a cataclysm.
Chishiya.
Isn’t a cataclysm something that changes everything? Then yes, your kiss was a cataclysm. A good one.
A.
Chishiya, please, we need to talk.
A.
CHISHIYA.
A.
[Thursday, on the living-room’s table]
Chishiya, PLEASE. Did you even come home yesterday? I haven’t seen you or heard of you in over three days. Are you missing pizza night?
Hime is all sad, she keeps meowing.
A.
Fine, I get it. You regret it. You don’t need to be a douche about it.
Want me to leave?
A.
[Friday, on the living-room’s table]
Okay, got the memo. I know when I’m not wanted. I have experience with that.
I’ll get out of your hair. Just give me a few days.
A.
Don’t be an idiot. You don’t need to go anywhere.
Chishiya.
Oh, so you ARE alive! Chishiya, what’s going on?
A.
[Saturday, on the living-room’s table]
SHUNTARO.
A.
You remembered, didn’t you? Is that what all of this is about?
You remembered Borderland.
A.
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Chishiya.
I remember too. I remembered before moving in with you.
I’d still kiss you back.
A.
[Sunday, on the bedside table]
It sure been a cold, cold winter
My feet been draggin’ ‘cross the ground
And the fields has all been brown and fallow
And the springtime take a long way around
Yeah, and I wish I been out in Stone Canyon
When the lights on all the Christmas trees went out
But I been burning my bell, book and candle
And the restoration plays have all gone ‘round
Sometimes I think about you, baby
Sometimes I cry about you
Sometimes I wanna wrap my coat around you
Sometimes I wanna keep you warm
Sometimes I wanna wrap my coat around you
Sometimes I wanna but I can’t afford you
Shuntaro through The Rolling Stones’ “Winter”.
As I write this letter, send my love to you
Remember that I’ll always be in love with you
Treasure these few words ‘till we’re together
Keep all my love forever
P.S. I love you, you, you, you
I’m sorry, but I must confess I’m more of a Beatle's guy.
Ryouhei.
RYOHEI. YOU BRAT.
S.
6.
[Monday morning, on the bedside table]
Congratulations!
R.
What for?
Dr. Shuntaro.
You have now fucked the same person twice, Shuntaro.
R.
I haven’t fucked the same person twice. That’s not fucking, Ryouhei.
DO NOT MAKE ME SAY IT.
Dr. Shuntaro.
I think the words you are looking for are “MAKING LOVE”.
R.
I HATE YOU ARISU.
Dr. Chishiya.
Love you too.
R.
[Wednesday, on the living-room table]
Roses, really? Stop being corny.
I’m not a fourteen-year-old girl.
Dr. Grown Up.
You didn’t want parties, so you got roses.
Happy birthday.
R.
How do you know it’s my birthday?
S.
I have my sources.
R.
I TOLD YOU. DO NOT LISTEN TO KUINA.
S.
I didn’t. There’s no party. Only roses. You suck at romanticism.
We’re out of cat food.
R.
You weren’t complaining about me sucking yesterday.
I’ll stop by the supermarket on my way back.
Dr. Smug.
SHUNTARO. DO. NOT. BE. CRUDE.
R.
RYOHEI. DO. NOT. BE. A. PRUDE.
S.
Fuck off.
R.
Fuck me. LITERALLY.
Dr. Horny.
This conversation is OVER.
R.
[Friday, on the fridge]
Did you forget how to clean?
S.
Can’t you ask me to clean like a normal person would?
R.
You’re anything but normal. You wouldn’t understand normal language.
CLEAN. ALREADY.
S.
Why the rush?
R.
I may want to have a CLEAN and NICE house to have a date with a very special person.
S.
[Saturday, on the fridge]
Oh. Fine, sure, I’ll clean then get out of your hair.
R.
I’m literally face palming as I write this note. YOU are the special person.
S.
Oh. There’s no need to clean then, I’ll take you out.
R.
YOU’RE CLEANING.
S.
[Monday, on the bedside table]
I’ve told my father you’re my boyfriend.
R.
WHY?
S.
What? Are you ashamed of me?
Please, I’m a CATCH.
R.
You’re getting way too confident. BRAT.
I thought your father was finally coming around. Isn’t you being with a man going to scare him off?
S.
Are you kidding? You’re RICH and a SURGEON. My father LOVES you.
He already thinks you’re my biggest achievement.
R.
Does he know nobody even wants to hire me anymore?
S.
He thinks you were brave enough to stand up.
He’s a Shuntaro apologist.
R.
LUCKY ME.
S.
We’re invited to dinner on Thursday. BE NICE.
R.
[Saturday, on the bedside table]
Shuntaro, do you believe in soulmates?
R.
Do I believe in being forcibly tied to someone whether I want it or not? Yes, I believe it’s a horror story.
S.
Never mind then.
R.
I like horror stories though. They’re my favorites.
S.
[Monday, next to the phone]
Your mother called, AGAIN.
R.
That’s it. We’re changing the phone number AGAIN.
What did she want this time?
S.
I don’t know. I told her to take whatever she had to offer up the ass.
R.
YOU, the doe eyed boy who wouldn’t even hurt Niragi, did THAT?
S.
I’m never forgiving her for not celebrating your birthdays. NEVER.
I’ve already changed the number. (03)-345-6789.
R.
I LOVE YOU.
S.
[Wednesday, on the fridge]
Did you feed the cat my ham?
R.
I fed the cat HAM, not YOUR ham.
S.
I’m gonna eat your special yogurt.
R.
DO.NOT.DARE.
S.
[Friday, on the bedside table]
Did you have fun with the gang yesterday?
R.
Aguni gave me THE TALK.
He asked about my intentions with you. He thinks you’ve got awful taste and that I shouldn’t be allowed within ten meters of you.
He threatened me.
S.
Everyone is on my side. YAY.
R.
[Wednesday, on the bedside table]
Why is there a gray bottle of lube in the drawer?
A.
Do I need to explain to you what lube is for?
Weren’t you there last time we used it?
S.
I know why we need a bottle of lube, Shuntaro, but why does the bottle have to be GRAY?
A.
[Friday, on the bed]
I can’t believe you bought multicolor lube.
S.
It’s going to look SO PRETTY on your ass.
A.
Are you a genius or the dumbest person to walk the Earth?
We shall never know.
S.
Chishiya knows it’s serious when his phone rings and Arisu’s sleeping face appears on the screen. He smiles for a second at the photo he secretly took some nights ago before answering.
“What couldn’t wait for you to call me instead of writing me a post-it?”
“There’s a kid here.”
“A kid, at home?”
“He says he needs to find Dr. Chishiya. I can’t throw him out, he’s too cute”.
“Can you bring him to the clinic? I can’t live in the middle of the shift.”
“On our way”.
Arisu arrives at the clinic thirty minutes later, a little brunette trailing behind him. Chishiya smiles at his boyfriend before crouching down and talking to the kid.
“Do I know you?”
The kid won’t talk, stubbornly looking at the floor. Arisu puts his hand on the boy’s head, trying to comfort him.
“His mother is a patient of yours. He says she’s very sick but won’t come because she needs to work. She’s afraid she’ll be fired if she has to take a medical leave”.
“How do you know all of that? He doesn’t talk”.
Arisu smirks at Chishiya.
“He doesn’t talk to you, but he does to me, right Kenji?”
Kenji nods, slightly smiling at Arisu. Chishiya shakes his head, of course his boyfriend would be a hit with children.
“What’s his mother’s name?”
The kid takes a hold of Arisu’s jeans, forcing him to crouch down until he can whisper into his ear.
“Katsumi Tao. Does it ring a bell?”
“Yes, she came a few days ago with a fever. I told her to come back if it didn’t get better. How sick was your mother, Kenji?”
It turns out she was pretty sick. Katsumi was found unconscious on her bed when the ambulance Chishiya had called for arrived. She could have died had her child not acted.
[Tuesday, on the fridge]
Why is there so much chocolate in this house all of a sudden?
S.
Kenji brought it. I babysat him yesterday. His mother had no one to leave him with and she needed to work. I was free so I gladly accepted.
We played Mario Kart.
R.
I said NO KIDS in the house.
S.
Yeah, you also said no pets.
You say a lot of things.
R.
It’s not my house anymore, is it?
S.
It’s OUR HOME now.
R.
[Monday, on the living-room’s table]
There are photos around. Hime is the PRETTIEST cat ever.
Also, do you watch me while I sleep?
R.
She is. I take pictures of your face when you sleep.
I thought you’d like them.
S.
I do. We need one of us as a couple.
R.
CORNY.
S.
Says the man who takes pictures of me while I sleep.
R.
[Friday, on the bedside table]
It’s been a year since Borderland.
R.
I used to want everything painted black. Then you came along.
He comes in colors everywhere
He combs his hair
He’s like a rainbow
Coming, colors in the air
Oh, everywhere
He comes in colours
S.
The Rolling Stones can also be corny, Shun.
I put them on my phone while I was at Karube and Chota’s graves.
R.
[Saturday, on the bedside table]
I’m sorry you had to lose so much.
S.
We all did.
R.
Nah, I only gained.
S.
[Wednesday, on the fridge]
I can’t believe you threw me a birthday party.
R.
Neither can I.
S.
It was wild. How did Niragi end up sleeping ON Aguni on the couch?
R.
I DON’T WANT TO KNOW.
S.
I love you. Thank you.
R.
[Tuesday, on the living-room table]
What if I never get hired again?
S.
I’ll become a well-known psychologist and pay the bills. You can be my trophy husband. You’re pretty enough.
R.
I’m being serious.
S.
So am I.
We’ll figure it out. I’m not going anywhere.
R.
I’m not sure I want to be a doctor.
S.
Then we’ll look into other options, together.
R.
[Sunday, on the living-room table]
We need a new agreement.
S.
Are you breaking up with me?
R.
Not in a million years.
YOU’RE STUCK. TOO LATE TO BACK OUT NOW.
I’m stopping the night shifts.
S.
Oh?
R.
I want to share the bed with you as many nights and mornings as possible.
S.
ALL OF THEM THEN.
R.
7.
Chishiya and Arisu were now standing in front of the Kumano shrines, contemplating a landscape that had been sought by pilgrims for over a 1000 years. Kumano Sanzan is a trio of revered Shinto shrines situated in the Kumano region of southern Japan. The shrines lie deep in the mountains of Wakayama Prefecture’s Kii Mountain Range, an area known as the land of the gods. The main shrine, Hongu Taisha, surrounded by giant cedar and cypress trees, was dedicated to Amaterasu, the sun goddess and Shinto’s most important deity. It is believed that shrines bestow happiness and good fortune onto the earthly realm. It is also believed that worshiping at a shrine purifies you of any past impurities and fills you with new resolve.
Arisu and Chishiya took the long stone staircase that led to its sacred grounds, climbing 158 steps like many had done before them in search of salvation and resurrection. They bow down in front of the Torii, stepping onto sacred grounds with their left foot, entering the realm of Shinto kami, and prepare their mind and heart, calming themselves, appreciating their surroundings. They go to the water basin and grab a ladle they hold with their right hand, scooping water from the basin in order to purify themselves by washing their hands and rinsing their mouths. Once inside, they both throw money in the offering box, bowing deeply twice, then clapping their hands twice, then they quietly pray to the Kami. Chishiya prays for the children he didn’t fight to save, while Arisu does for the loved ones he's lost along the way and for every soul which did not make it out of the Borderlands. They bow deeply one more time when they’re done praying.
Arisu takes an Omikuji from the wooden box, urging Chishiya to do the same. The shorter man mumbles, complaining but complying.
“What if we get cursed or told bad fortune?”
“I’ll take the chance”.
“You would”.
Arisu unrolls his little strip of paper, his eyes scanning it quickly before reading out loud.
“THE BEST FORTUNE. Even if your desire will be slow to come, it’s better for you not to be anxious so much. You will gradually become famous and peaceful. You getting good help, your wishes will be finally realized. Your way goes to the Paradise of the Saints, and you can live long at ease.”
Chishiya smiles at Arisu’s doe eyes lighting up. He agrees, the boy deserves the best of fortunes.
“I did survive a meteor after all. Come on, open yours!”
Chishiya unrolls his own stripe of paper and clears his throat before reading.
“GOOD FORTUNE. Washing off all bad things in the past, now everything is clear and clean. The brilliant light and glorious flower came out clean again being washed so well. What you desire will finally get profit, which means everything around you comes out quite well. Time passing by, everything turns out to be better, just like the sun shines all day long.”
Arisu’s smile almost blinds him as he looks up. Chishiya smiles too. Everything would be all right from then on, he could feel it in his bones as he took Arisu’s hand into his.
Spring has come.