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"WE ARE NOT SO DIFFERENT, JOSTEN!"
Neil instantly closed his mouth, thus blocking the way to the next thing he was going to blurt out, provoking an impenetrable tension to grow between them. Neil's reaction was immediate. His face went from red to white in an instant as he struggled to comprehend what had just been said.
They were face to face spouting hurtful words at eachother, although that was how all the interactions between the two of them were. This one, however, was different. It had began as a heated argument between Aaron and Neil, one that started out as a simple difference of opinion but quickly escalated into something much more volatile.
"That's not true" Neil scoffed, trying to ignore all of the foxes accusingly eyes shifting from Aaron to Neil and vice versa. Andrew was sitting passively on the couch, staring intently at both players, waiting for something to happen, for someone to make the move that will force him to choose sides.
Andrew had made promises to them both, promises that he had to end. One of the most significant promises that he made was to Aaron, to protect him at all costs. However, Aaron ended up resenting Andrew's overprotectiveness and feeling suffocated by it. In the end, Andrew broke his promise to Aaron, choosing to prioritize his own mental health and well-being over his brother's desires.
Something similar happened with Neil. Or maybe not.
Andrew promised to protect Neil but this promise too, he had to break. Neil had asked him, practically begged him to let go of the promise and so Andrew did. He didn't know at the moment why but if he could believe in regret, he would regret with all his unmoving heart the day he had spared Neil from that promise.
In the end, he knew whose side he would choose.
So here they were, all of the Foxes containing their breaths as they had never actively seen Aaron and Neil fight so viciously. Sure, all of them knew they weren't in the bestest of terms, but nobody had expected something like this, including Andrew.
"I don't?" Aaron questioned with a prickly tone. Neil glared down at Aaron as he approached. Andrew immediately looked directly at Renné, who was in front of the foxes, and nodded at her. That's what Renné needed apparently as she immediately turned around and took out her phone.
Neil shook his head ruefully as Aaron stopped just a few inches in front of him. The striker lowered his eyes to the ground.
"Oh really? Because I may not know what is like to life with a fucking psycho serial killer as a father, but I sure as hell know what is like to live with an abusive mother, Josten"
Neil's gaze finally sharpened and focused on him for a moment, and then drifted back down to the floor.
"Not so talkative now, huh?" Aaron spat at Neil.
"Aaron"
The voice came from the entrance. Suddenly Wymack was there, lowering Aaron with a cool gaze. The Foxes turned to face the entrance as Wymack appeared, their expressions ranging from surprise to confusion. Andrew's jaw tensed as he glared at Aaron, his fists clenching at his sides. Renee moved closer to Kevin, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder as they both looked on in silence.
Dan's eyebrows furrowed, and she stepped forward, her gaze fixed on Wymack. Matt looked worried, his eyes darting between Neil and Aaron, while Allison stood back, her arms crossed over her chest. As Wymack walked past them and set his eyes on Neil and Aaron, the Foxes held their breath.
But then, to their surprise, Wymack simply spoke up, breaking the tension. "I suggest you leave the kid alone."
The Foxes watched as Aaron shook his head, stepping away from Neil and crossing his arms over his chest. Neil looked frustrated, but he didn't back down, standing his ground.
"No, he needs to fucking understand that his mother wasn't a loving and caring woman for fucks sake!" Aaron was screaming now while looking at Wymack challenging.
"Why do you care?" Neil demanded, expression tight.
"Oh, c'mon! You can't keep living in denial you fucking moron!" Shouted Aaron, holding up a finger at Neil.
Dan stepped forward, her expression stern. "Guys, let's calm down," she said, trying to diffuse the tension in the room.
But Neil wasn't having it. He rounded on Aaron, his voice rising. Neil's eyes narrowed, and he took a step forward. "You don't know shit, Aaron," he spat, his voice low and dangerous.
"I know enough" Aaron's voice was harsh and filled with bitterness as he glared at Neil. The tension in the room was palpable, and the Foxes watched nervously, unsure of what would happen next.
"She wasn't abusive, she did what she needed to do to make me understand"
"Neil" Andrew's voice was harsh, barely containing his anger.
"No Andrew, you neither," Neil denied as he twisted to face Andrew. "You two don't get to lecture me about my mother's actions, non of you knew her!" Neil was hysterical now, trying to convince all of the foxes and Wymack that what Aaron had said wasn't true. Neil's heart was pounding in his chest as he desperately tried to defend his mother's actions.
Why wouldn't they understand?
As Neil continued to defend his mother's actions, a wave of nausea washed over him. Growing up, Neil's mother had hit him, screamed at him, and belittled him on a daily basis. And yet, despite it all, Neil had always felt a strange sense of loyalty to her. She was his mother, after all, and he had been conditioned to believe that he owed her his loyalty no matter what. Besides, she had always done what she needed to do in order to make him understand. He had been a dumb kid who needed guidance and punishments.
"Neil" this time it was Kevin. He hadn't opened his mouth since the conflict began. Kevin tended to hang back when there were fights, preferring to see the outcome than intervene in the fight itself. He had learned the hard way that getting involved in other people's conflicts often led to more trouble than it was worth. So instead, he waited and watched, biding his time until he could see a clear path forward, like right now.
"Tu ne peux plus le nier"
"Soyez silencieux! Tu ne sais rien!"
"Je sais que tu es en colère, Neil, mais nous devons rester calmes", Kevin responded, trying to diffuse the tension.
"Je ne suis pas en colère, je suis juste fatigué de tout cela", Neil replied, his voice tinged with frustration.
"Neil"
"No, don't 'Neil' me. Why are you all so suddenly against me? What have I done?" Neil was desperate for an explanation. He felt his heart sink as he looked around the room at his teammates. He had always known that his past was a delicate subject, but he had never expected them to turn against him like this. He felt like he was alone in the middle of a crowded room, a solitary figure standing against a sea of doubt and mistrust. The sense of isolation was almost overwhelming, and he couldn't help but feel like he was about to drown in it.
"It's not what you have done. It's what your mother has done to you" Aaron was still trying to get through Neil. Neil felt a jolt of surprise as Aaron's words sank in. It was true that his mother had done unspeakable things, and he couldn't deny that her actions had taken a toll on him over the years.
But he couldn't help but wonder why Aaron, of all people, was the one trying to help him. After all, Aaron had made it abundantly clear in the past that he despised Neil. As Neil looked into Aaron's eyes, he could see a flicker of something that he couldn't quite identify. Was it empathy? Compassion? He wasn't sure, but he knew that there was something there that he had never seen in Aaron before. Either way, he couldn't understand.
"But— But why do you care?!"
"BECAUSE I HAD A MOTHER JUST LIKE YOURS" Aaron couldn't retain his anger any more. "You are in denial if you think your mother wasn't abusive. I don't fucking care her motives, a punch is a punch and blood is blood. Tell me, did she ever stop when you begged her to?"
"No, no but—"
"Did she ever hit you again after promising that she would never again?"
"Shut the f–"
"Answer me, Neil."
"Yes"
"You were a child"
"So were you"
Aaron looked away from Neil, his gaze falling to the floor. He remembered the times when he was just a kid, and his mother would hit him for the smallest things. He never understood why she did it, but he knew it hurt. And then she would apologize, promising never to do it again, but she always did. It was a vicious cycle that seemed to have no end.
Both of them remained quiet, emanating a soft grief into the air. Aaron then took a deep breath, vainly trying to contain his fury at the damage that had been done. They were now talking about Neil and his incompetence to understand the matter, not Aaron's own pass trauma. The difference between the two of them was that Aaron had already accepted what had happened to him, but it seemed like Neil couldn't grasp the severity of the situation.
Aaron took another deep breath, trying to calm himself down. He knew that getting angry wouldn't help anything, but he couldn't help feeling frustrated. He wanted Neil to understand, to see things from his perspective. But at the same time, he knew that everyone coped with trauma in their own way. Maybe Neil just needed more time to come to terms with his own past.
He also didn't understand why it bothered him so much that Neil didn't want to understand. Perhaps it was because Aaron saw a part of himself in Neil. He remembered the way he had initially denied the abuse, the way he had tried to rationalize it and make excuses for his abuser. It had taken him a long time to accept what had happened and to move on. In the end, Aaron realized that his 'concern' for Neil was rooted in his own past. He knew what it was like to feel alone and helpless, to feel like nobody understood what he was going through.
While he was occupied rearranging his thoughts, he watched as Andrew approached Neil, their conversation kept low and confidential. Meanwhile, the rest of the Foxes were huddled together, trying to make sense of the chaos that had just ensued. Wymack, their coach, was pacing back and forth, frustration etched on his face.
"Go away," he barked at them, his voice laced with anger. "We'll meet for practice"
The Foxes, besides Andrew —of course— scattered, leaving Wymack to his thoughts, not before sparing some looks between Aaron and Neil. Aaron couldn't help but feel a sense of unease settle over him. Once all of the Foxes were out, he turned to look over at Neil again.
Aaron strained to hear Neil and Andrew's conversation, but they had drifted too far away for him to catch any of their words. He could tell, however, that Andrew was trying to reassure Neil in his typical nonchalant way, with a hand at the back of Josten's neck. As Andrew spoke, Neil's tense posture seemed to relax a bit, fist clutched loosely in Andrew’s shirt. He nodded occasionally, his face still creased with worry, but not quite as much as before.
After a time, Aaron watched as Andrew left Neil's side and followed Wymack out of the room. There was something about the way Andrew had glanced at Neil before leaving that made Aaron feel uneasy. He turned to look at Neil, who caught his eye and gave him a small nod and in that moment, Aaron understood. There was a sense of unspoken communication between them, a shared understanding of the situation they were in. It was as if they were communicating without words, a silent exchange of emotions and thoughts. They both knew that things were far from over. Finally, Neil gave him a small smile before turning and following Andrew out of the room.
As Neil turned to leave the room, Aaron felt a strange mix of relief and hatred wash over him. On one hand, he was relieved that Neil seemed to have a handle on the situation and that they could move forward. But on the other hand, he couldn't help but feel a lingering sense of resentment towards him. Aaron didn't like Neil, and he didn't trust him either. But at the same time, he couldn't deny that there was something about him that he understood. Perhaps it was their shared experiences as part of the Foxes, or perhaps it was something deeper. Regardless, he knew that Neil was a fucking moron and that at least Andrew would help him comprehend how wrong he was.
Or so he hoped.