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Morningstar 🖤🎶

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Chris was looking out of the window when I opened up my eyes the morning after, he heard my sigh and turned to me "Good morning..did you have a good sleep?" I smiled "No nightmares. thank to you". He was bare-chested, drops of water like pearls on his tanned skin, a towel wrapped his hips, flashbacks from our night together came to my mind "Did I make you feel good?" Chris asked stopping the thoughts "you did.I felt safe.Into your arms".

I waited for him to come closer but he didn't move, I stood up letting the sheet drop to the floor and walked seductively towards him "am I not worth a morning kiss?", my fingers touched his biceps as my eyes stared into his, he rejected my eye contact "you'd better have a shower and get dressed.Your manager already wrote me to remind you about today's schedule. You should be at the airport in two hours. Hurry up". Anger and delusion grew inside me, and tears stung my eyes but I was too proud to let them fall "you're right.Thank you for helping me with my agenda.All in all,two nannies are better than one for a child like me!" Chris tried to stop me but I was already on my way to the toilet .

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We didn't talk for the other half of the day. I closed my eyes and slept - or at least I did my best to - on the back seat with my earphones on, revising the set list for Vegas' concert. I texted to my manager Jack about two changes and he answered astonished because one song had been kept as a surprise for the last gig of the tour at Coachella. I didn't accept any refusal. Chris stared at me from the rear-view mirror "is there anything you need before getting on the plane? I'm parking on the runway just now", "no, thanks. Only to relax and sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day and my fans deserve to see me healthy and magnificent on stage!" I spoke like a real posh superstar "As you like, Miss Heather".

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"Look at you! You're stunning ! A little rest in LA was the best medicine, right?" Jack said to me happily, coming into my dressing room before the concert, I was ending up the makeup session and my assistant was tieing my high heels red shoes.
I stood up and wore the red sparkling mini dress "I am ready. what time is it?" I asked him impatiently "Oh you still have one more hour. You are early on the schedule. By the way, do you remember about the meet & greet? Someone has been asking to see you before the concert. I know you never allow anyone but..in his message he wrote he has been a long time devoted fan", "What do you mean?", "He would like to greet you before going on stage", my manager replied.

I was always adamant on that point:I didn't want to be bothered by anyone before my performances, "he came from far away to be at your gig tonight,you know.We chose his letter because he wrote many and all of them have always been very nice and polite.Do you want me to read some lines from one?" I nodded "Your voice is like the nightingale's song but the power in your dancing makes you look like a goddess from heaven.You're so inspiring to my daughter! Would love to meet you and tell her about it,if you'd give me a chance to meet only once". He seemed an ordinary person and I trusted Jack,he knew about my past and which my fears were, "ok,let him in.But only for few minutes".

I waited for about ten minutes till my assistant was called backstage by a text from Chris, when I heard knocking at my door "come in", I answered fixing my hair in the mirror "hello...my guinea pig...my displeasure to see you again...for the last time".
I turned my head slowly acknowledging that horrific laugh.. James, my ex boyfriend, was staring at me holding a knife in his hands! "Don't dare screaming.. I have a gun with me too and will use it to make things faster!" "What are you doing here? What do you want from me?" I hissed "Damn you really look like a bitch! You deserve to be on Hollywood Boulevard with your own kind. Arenas and big stages are not for the trash like you.Now it's time to end it!"

I gritted my teeth "Shut the fuck up!Why can't you move on with your life? and over all who released you?". He laughed again and pinned me against a wall "I made valuable connections and I've been out of that place for 3 months.I followed every move you made, even the romantic swim with your bodyguard.. who is he ? Your knight in the shining armour?! You belong to me, I am the only one who knows how to tame you!" The blade of his knife - as it was in my nightmare - was pushing against one of my cheeks "please, leave me alone.I'll finish the concert and come with you.I promise. please please let me go", I begged him shaking. He came closer to smell my hair "Now you even smell like a whore. I remember how I was used to leave you dirty and stinky for days.My little pet.So docile to kicks and fists.I can kill you now but it wouldn't be so funny, unless you don't drive to". Tears ran down my face "Please...." his knife carved my skin and I moaned in pain while he laughed so loud. "This is the only way you should sing. And for me only"

The dressing room door was broken down and Chris went in aiming the gun at him "Let her go and you hands up!" James kept on laughing "here he is, your prince charming came to rescue you!" He wasn't able to add anything that Chris pulled the trigger and James fell to the floor, headshot.
Chris picked me up in his arms "Are you ok? I wasn't okay with that and came back to check if you were fine. This meet & greet was lasting too long!" He kissed my forehead, "I was so scared that he was going to kill me.." " I was such an asshole..." Chris apologized "no...you...about what?" I raised my wet eyes, Chris' thumb dabbing my bloody neck "he hurt you!fucking bastard!" "Chris...he died.I'm free thank to you.He can't hurt me anymore" I caressed Chris' face.

"Forgive me.I was afraid of getting involved with you.But I love you.And I'll protect you always.With my life", Chris kissed me softly "I am not the superstar you see...". I started " I know...I apologize too..and I love you in return.I feel safe by your side.As I've never felt in my whole life".

Jack appeared at the door "Heather,I am shocked..I am so sorry it was my fault...I shouldn't have trusted his words!I was such an idiot...I endangered your life! please forgive me.." Jack couldn't stop holding my hands and begging my pardon "Jack,please stop apologize. The nightmare is over.I will get through it. Time will help.." I turned to meet Chris' eyes " She won't be alone anymore. Now if you feel like ...are you ready?" I got off his arms "I'll show my fans who I really am. I am sure they will understand.."

I walked to the stage and grabbed the microphone "good evening guys! Tonight I feel so lucky to be here with all of you...And you're gonna listen for the fist time to a new song. Be ready for ..." The first notes at the keyboard introduced "Survivor" :

I was lost in my despair
fighting my demons on and on
that day has come ..
I am the survivor ..
my personal hero..

no matter what
all my scars are here to see
Showing the battles I won
Against all odds
I am the survivor

"Come on guys, you are a part of me and this song is my thank you for your love and to the ones who believed in me from the very first day!" The audience was singing with me repeating "I am the survivor" more than once. I was complete and my soul was finally free, my heart would have needed some time to recover but I had finally found someone to help me heal my wounds.

I am Heather Morningstar.Singer.Woman.
Survivor like many of you.