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Log One
Mechanical buzzing and beeping can be heard in the background.
Captain Quinn Harper’s Log, day seven of the expedition.
We’ve hit a bit of a bump in our journey- one of the ships we encountered was supposed to be in quarantine, as they had contact with Exoplanet 8136-M’s notorious Xenoparanoia Languorem.
An annoyed huff can be heard.
We are approximately one light year away from our destination of Exoplanet 2613-X, but we are going to have to go into quarantine for at least the required thirty to forty-five days as well, to reduce risk of exposing the fauna of 2613-X to the disease.
No members of the crew are showing symptoms thus far, so I can only hope that no-one has been infected.
End log.
click.
Log Two
The rustling of fabric, reminiscent of someone sitting down on something soft.
This is Doctor Ethan Mercer, reporting for my evening log on day nine of the expedition and day two of the quarantine.
I felt a bit odd on day one, so I self-quarantined for the next day.
I’m now off self-quarantine, and everything seems to be fine.
Casey nearly had a panic attack yesterday according to the Captain, poor kid.
And Caleb is being more of an aggressive asshole than usual- he and Asher got into a fight again, and he almost broke a damn chair throwing it at a wall!
I just hope this is gonna be over soon… crap, I’ve been rambling again.
End log.
click
Log Three
Sound of a busy room, as well as eating sounds.
This is Assistant Researcher Casey Taylor, doing my evening log… the day after, ‘cause I forgot to do it yesterday. Oops! Anyway, it’s oatmeal for breakfast again, and-
Captain Harper speaks. Her tone is full of fond exasperation.
Aren't you supposed to do your logs in your room, Casey?
Casey says, A-ah, hey Quinn! I just forgot to do mine last night…
Quinn speaks again. Alright then.
There is a brief pause.
I’m going to need your help wrangling Caleb into doing his job later, so make sure to get Dr. Frost’s folder organized early.
G-got it! See you Quinn! Casey stutters.
Captain Harper's boots clank on the metallic floor as she walks away.
Ahhh, I just talked to Quinn!
Again!!
And I didn’t stutter that much!
They squeal excitedly.
Ah, yeah, I'm supposed to be logging!
Um, this is day eleven of the quarantine, and Ethan and Asher had to self-quarantine again- n-not cause they got sick, uh, th-they just felt kinda weird, so, uh, just in case, am I right?
They chuckle nervously.
W-well, that’s really all that’s happened, so… uh, end log!
click.
Log Four
Mechanical squeals and groans.
He grumbles, Ugh, I don’t wanna do this shit…
Ay, this is Caleb Steele, engineer on the whatever-the-ship’s-name-is.
Dunno the date, don’t care.
I’d much rather be doing literally anything else, I can't believe we have to do these stupid logs every damn night.
There is a brief pause.
Y'know what? Fuck this. I'm going back to my room.
click.
Log Five
Mechanical beeps again, as well as the rustling of plants.
This is Doctor Asher Frost, Head Researcher.
It is day thirteen of the quarantine, and day three of my personal quarantine.
I’m currently working on sorting through and scanning some of the fauna samples we managed to obtain from the infected ship for any traces of the disease- using all precautions, I assure you.
Or at least, I would be.
She lets out an exasperated sigh.
Unfortunately, my scanner is broken, again, and Doctor Steele has neglected to fix it in favor of lounging around and bickering with our crewmates.
She clears her throat.
Either way, I need to get him to do that as soon as I can.
End log.
click.
Log Six
Sound of a fan whirring.
This is Doctor Ethan Mercer, reporting for my evening log on day fifteen of the quarantine.
I’ve been released from self-quarantine again, thankfully- Dr. Frost and I were a bit dizzy and lightheaded a few days ago, so self-quarantining was necessary.
Again.
I’m kind of getting tired of this room.
He takes a deep breath.
Anyway, Asher’s still quarantined for the issues I mentioned earlier, and Caleb is still butting heads with her somehow- I swear, he’d bust through the damn walls just to argue with her…
...Ugh, my head hurts.
I’m gonna go to sleep early tonight.
End log.
click.
Log Seven
Sounds of Hacking coughs and groans of pain can be heard, as well as the rustling of fabric like someone laying in a bed.
A harsh cough.
Doctor Asher Frost, Head Researcher.
Day eighteen of quarantine.
Another hack.
Unfortunately, Caleb has decided he is not going to be doing his nightly logs, so I will have to do extra work.
That idiot isn’t even doing anything, why is he on this expedition? She grumbles to herself, then groans in exasperation.
I seem to have contracted something- possibly the Xenoparanoia virus, but from the symptoms it seems to just be a common cold.
I feel much better than I did yesterday, so I should be completely recovered in a few days.
Additionally, Quinn has had to self-quarantine as well, so she may have caught my cold from the day before I began self-quarantine.
End log.
click.
Log Eight
The sound of heavy footsteps on the ship's metal floors.
Casey begins to speak.
So, uh… nobody’s heard from Quinn since they started self-q-quarantine?
And she, u-uh, didn’t upload any m-more logs since like, a c-couple days ago?
So, uh, I’m g-gonna… check on her.
...Oh, uh, this is Casey Taylor, A-assistant researcher, and it’s… day twenty-three of the quarantine.
I'm almost to her room n-now, so I'm gonna finish this up...
Um, e-end log.
click.
Log Nine
Casey is heard crying and sobbing in the background, as well as soft mumbles from Caleb.
Th-this is Dr. Ethan M-mercer, uh, d-day twenty-three of quarantine… uh.
Shit’s bad.
N-nobody heard from Quinn in a f-few days, so Casey went to check on her…
I was going to, but I blacked out for nearly a whole day and Caleb put my unconscious body back in my room…
God, poor Casey.
Uh, if you haven't guessed already…
She's dead.
Has been for a couple days, according to th-the autopsy.
A-and Caleb’s being weird again, he doesn't even seem u-upset ab-bout it, h-he’s t-too…calm.
Ethan shakily takes a deep breath.
I-I-I don’t kn-know h-how much longer a-any of us can l-last l-l-like th-this.
E-end log.
click.
Log Ten
Sounds of hacking coughs and groans of pain can be heard, as well as the rustling of fabric like someone laying in a bed. The coughs are more frequent and harder than the last log by Asher.
Doctor Asher Frost, Head Researcher.
A harsh cough.
Day twenty-six of quarantine.
Captain Harper is dead.
Dr. Mercer performed the autopsy and found she had died several days before.
I’ve continued self-quarantine in the hopes to not infect my-
A heavy, wet coughing fit.
…crewmates.
Unfortunately my condition has worsened in the time since my last log.
There isn’t much else to report- Steele is being as uncooperative as usual and refuses to do his job, and Casey is still despondent over Captain Harper, but Dr. Mercer seems to be doing fi-
Frost interrupts herself with a cough.
... well, at least more fine than I am.
End log.
click.
The coughs are more frequent and harsher now. It seems Asher is suffering from a fever, as she seems unusually cold.
Th-this is Dr. Asher F-Frost-
She coughs.
… I do not believe I will s-survive the night.
I-I am leaving th-this log to-
She coughs harder.
l-let the others know to not o-open…
She has a coughing fit, wheezing for air for a few seconds afterward.
...the door…
She wheezes again.
...to my room, under any circumstances.
She has another coughing fit.
I don’t want oth-thers catching this.
Wet, hacking coughs continue for at least a minute.
E-end log.
click.
Log Eleven
(Note that around this point, the late Dr. Mercer stopped recording the date of his logs, so several may seem disjointed. We have managed to get them in some semblance of order for you, but it might not be correct. Apologies in advance.)
Ethan is pacing across what sounds like his quarters.
This is Dr. Ethan Mercer.
Asomewhat long pause.
Uh, day twenty-nine of quarantine.
Everything’s gone to shit since Quinn and Asher kicked it.
Caleb’s just fucking…
God, he’s so unbothered it’s driving me insane.
I know he and Quinn were friends, how can he be so…
He huffs a breath, then speaks aloud to himself.
Dammit, focus, Ethan.
He begins to speak at normal volume again.
Well, Casey’s even worse.
Locked themselves in their room and won’t even come out to eat.
I got out of self-quarantine a couple days before Asher…
...uh, so I’ve been bringing them their meals.
Dunno if they’re eating them, but they’re leaving behind clean plates so…
God, this mission is going to hell.
End log.
click.
Beep.
Ethan Mercer, day thirty-two of quarantine.
Got a message from Central Command to stay in quarantine longer ‘cause two of us caught it and died.
God damn them, do they not have any empathy?
I have a family!
So do Caleb and Casey, so did Asher and Quinn, and they’re just gonna leave us to rot in space?
Well fuck that, I’ll march right up there an-
click.
Beep.
Day thirty-seven.
Casey came out of their room, but they’re acting… strangely calm.
Like Quinn and Asher didn’t even happen.
It’s… wait, it’s just like Caleb was, what the hell?
Casey can’t be over it, everyone knows they-
...Ugh, I just want this to be over.
End log.
click.
Day forty-one.
Okay, so.
I was talking to Caleb, right?
And he’s still all… weird.
I ask him why he’s being so calm about all this, and he tells me he’s got some stuff to do and leaves.
Weird right?
But then I ask the same thing to Casey, and they say the exact same thing- this can’t be a coincidence, something’s got to be going on here, I know it.
End log.
click.
Beep.
Don’t remember what day it is, don’t care.
‘Casey’, if it really is them, asked if I slept at all- I couldn’t, not since I started having nightmares about things impersonating the fucking crew.
It was fucking horrible, so I've started bringing the bottles of adrenaline back to my room to keep myself awake. I know I'm not supposed to, but... I have a hard time not listening to my body. So, hyper-caffeine it is.
Anyway, I tried to get some more work done, you know, to pass the time, but I had to sit down- almost tripped into a wall, my clumsy ass.
He mumbles to himself.
God, my head has been spinning in circles all day.
That’s about all that’s happened- haven’t seen ‘Caleb’ all day either.
So.
Uh, end log.
click.
Beep.
He sounds frantic, like he just finished a run and is out of breath.
So I was studying them.
Trying to figure out what’s causing them to be all… weird and out-of-character.
And then I found Asher’s notes. Uh, on the stuff we were quarantining from-
“Xenoparanoia Languorem,” it’s called.
Causes brain swelling and stuff, but you know the real kicker?
Right here:
He begins to read from a passage.
“Xenoparanoia Languorem usually causes insomnia, dizziness, and irrational and out-of-character behavior.
"People close to those infected tend to notice odd behavior such as a lack of or overreaction to stimuli.”
This has gotta be it- they must be infected too-
God how am I supposed to deal with this?
He sighs.
God my head hurts.
I’m going to bed.
click.
Beep.
He speaks quietly, as if sharing a secret with a nonexistent audience.
I had an idea.
Central command made us quarantine more because Quinn and Asher got sick, right?
And now Casey and Caleb got it.
So...
If no-one on the ship has it anymore, I can go home, right?
He laughs quietly.
Just an idea.
End log.
click.
Beep.
There are sounds of someone walking through a hallway, in the private quarters sector by the sound of the floor.
Uh, this is Casey Taylor, again, haha!
They mumble to themselves...
This isn’t funny, why did I say that…
...before returning to normal volume.
Um.
So Ethan’s being weird?
Like… staring at us in the hall and following Caleb back to his room, weird.
I saw him two days ago during breakfast and he looked really tired, so I asked him about it, but he didn’t say anything, just stared.
So I’m recording this live, going to, uh, check on him.
Just in case...
They audibly shiver.
Uhm.
They stop walking and knock on a door, presumably Ethan's, three times.
The sounds of things falling to the floor are heard but muffled, as though heard through a door.
Ethan speaks. He sounds panicked.
Who's there?!
Casey stammers a response.
U-uh, it’s M-me! C-casey! I w-w-wanted to ch-check on y-you?
More crashing. Mumbling.
U-uh… are y-you alright?
Ethan does not respond for a long while. When he does, he sounds strangely calm.
…yeah. Come in.
The door slides open.
U-uh, Ethan? What’s with the… h-hands-behind-the-back l-look?
Ethan does not reply.
Casey seems to get a better look at Ethan's face- he must look terrible.
Ethan, y-you look really tired… Have you ever slept since I asked you to two whole days ago?
Ethan does not respond.
Casey: …Ethan?
He pauses for a minute or so, and then says in a monotone voice...
...come in.
Casey sounds somewhat frightened now.
…uh, okay? Is there some- what the fuck, Ethan, is tha- Their voice changes into an incredibly high-pitched squeal of shock. HOLY SHIT!
The door shuts. Casey sounds panicked.
Ethan, Ethan where the hell did you get a fucking p-pipe, the wall? Why did you shut the door?
Ethan mumbles something, but the recorder does not pick it up.
…what?
Casey says, seemingly asking for clarification.
Ethan speaks a little louder.
…if there’s no infected, I can leave…
Casey begins to stammer.
I-infected? Wh-what does that m-mean? …Ethan? ……E-Ethan? ETHA-
A scream is cut off by a squelching sound. It is remeniscent of someone repeatedly ramming a piece of metal pipe into a watermelon.
Or a skull.
Eventually the smashing stops, and wet footsteps make their way closer to the recorder.
Ethan speaks.
...oh, they were recording.
click.
Beep.
This concludes the review and cataloguing of the USS RadioJack MILF’s ship logs.
End recording.
click.