Chapter Text
They told Catra she could move in immediately, so two days later, the first Friday of April, she showed up at the front door of apartment 4D with two cans of paint, a tray, painter’s tape, a tarp, and a roller. Glimmer was the one to open the door, and when she did, she rolled her eyes.
“You aren’t painting the room black.”
Catra smirked, pushing past Glimmer as she held open the door. “But Perfuma can paint it hot pink?”
Glimmer scoffed and followed Catra into the hall. Catra’s new room was the first door on the right, which was a little too central to be prime real estate in Catra’s opinion. But, as she kept reminding herself, beggars can’t be choosers. “It’s just pink. Hot pink is….” Catra glanced back to see Glimmer’s mouth twisted in frustration, “it’s just different, okay!”
“You were gonna say, ‘pinker,’ weren’t you?” Catra’s smirk grew as Glimmer’s eyes narrowed. She laughed and opened the door. It was weird, seeing Glimmer again after all this time. It made Catra feel weird. It was easier than it should’ve been. She wasn’t angry anymore, and the sadness was just burrowed so deep it didn’t even register most of the time. But she did feel something, and it was… good.
Maybe, despite the therapy and the growing up, there was a part of her that never really let go of her best friend.
Catra stepped into her new bedroom and let out a long sigh. She wouldn’t be here if she wasn’t desperate. Honestly though, these days, it felt like Catra was always desperate. She needed a job, she needed a place to live, she needed her own set of silverware, and a new rice cooker. Oh, and she needed to get laid. Bad.
Apparently, she lost a lot more than a girlfriend when—
“Are you seriously gonna paint it black?”
Catra rolled her eyes and set the cans of paint on the floor. “No, Sparkles. Sorry to break it to you, but not every choice I make is just to piss you off.”
Glimmer stepped into the room, picking up the tarp Catra had just dropped on the floor. She sighed, unfolding it slowly while Catra went about setting down the rest of her haul by the door. Slowly and silently, they spread the tarp over the floor and when Catra held up her second roll of painter’s tape, Glimmer took it and went about lining the window.
After about twenty minutes, two folding chairs were set up on opposite sides of the room and Glimmer was coming back with a screwdriver. She handed it to Catra, who crouched down and went about opening the first can of paint.
Glimmer leaned forward, one hand behind her back, and groaned when the cap was removed to reveal a brilliant red. “Seriously, Catra? Red?”
Catra smiled. Admittedly it was a little brighter than she was originally going for, but now it felt perfect.
“What’s the problem, Sparkles? Only some shades of red are allowed in this loft?”
Glimmer cocked her head. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Catra smirked, picking the paint up by the handle and pouring it into the tray. “Pink?” Catra lifted her head and set the can down. “It’s just a lighter shade of red.”
Glimmer’s eyes almost popped out of her fucking head. “What?” she shrieked, and Catra bit back a cackle. “It is not!”
Catra tsked. “Oh, Sparkles. Sweet, dumb, Sparkles….”
Glimmer huffed and pulled her hand from behind her back. In it she held another paint roller. Catra blinked, glancing at the one she’d just picked up to make sure it hadn’t disappeared.
“Pink is not a shade of red!”
“Where did you get that?” Catra pointed at the roller. “Why did you get that?”
Glimmer furrowed her brow and glanced at the roller in her hand. “Oh! We have a few extra’s from when we painted Adora’s room. You should see it, actually. We all took a wall and Adora’s—”
Catra shook her head a little and ignored the way her heart lurched at Adora’s name. “Wait, are you going to help me?”
Glimmer’s eyebrow arched. “Wasn’t I already? Or did I hallucinate grabbing that chair and taping around the window?”
Catra frowned. “I could’ve done that.”
Glimmer rolled her eyes so far Catra thought they twitched. “Sure, but I can help. It would take you hours to do this room on your own. Oh,” she pointed and the door frame, “I should grab a brush too, for the edges and around the baseboards.”
Catra bit her bottom lip. There was that weird feeling again. It was warm and light. She realized in that second it was hope.
And it was way too much.
“Pink is definitely a shade of red.”
And just like that, Glimmer was back in it. She’d always been like that, unable to walk away from a fight. It was one of Catra’s favorite things about her. It had always made their lives very interesting.
“You can’t just go around calling a whole other color—”
“How do you get pink, Glim?”
Glimmer blinked, and for a second she looked startled. “Um… you mix red and white.” She smiled and put her hands on her hips; triumphant. “Two different colors to make a whole new color.”
Catra scoffed, eyes darting from wall to wall, trying to pick one. “Okay, but how do you get light green?”
Glimmer rolled her eyes. “You mix green and—” she stopped and Catra looked back to see a scowl slowly form on her face. “White…”
Catra smirked. “Exactly. Adding white to lighten a color creates a new shade, not a new color. Meaning pink is….”
Glimmer bit her lip and crossed her arms. Catra wasn’t deterred. She used her roller to point down at the vibrant red paint in the tray and smiled. “A shade of red.”
“You’re insufferable.”
Catra shrugged, crouching down to dip her roller in the paint. “I’m okay with that.”
Glimmer sighed, watching as Catra made her way to the wall opposite the door. The window was large and off to the right. Catra stepped up beside it and lifted her roller. She hesitated, glancing at the bright red paint.
Glimmer snickered. “Have you ever done this before?”
Catra shot a glare in her direction. “Not in a while. My… ex always paid professionals for shit like this.”
Slowly, Catra pressed her roller to the wall. She pushed it up the wall, adding the slightest amount of pressure. She continued up until she was on her tiptoes and trying to reach up near the ceiling. But Catra was 5’5 and she was coming up… short.
She growled quietly. It felt like some sick kind of metaphor for her life. Always coming up short, never being good enough. Here she was, twenty-nine, with a useless law degree, moving into a loft with three roommates, and fresh off the relationship she thought she was going to be in for life. She’d failed at every turn and no matter how hard she worked or how much she wanted it, she just couldn’t reach.
She grunted, jumping up and smacking the roller against the wall.
The roller slipped out of her hand and dropped out of the air where she’d abandoned it. Catra had just enough time to close her eyes before it smacked her right in the face.
Glimmer laughed, lifting her hand to cover her mouth. Catra clenched her jaw. Great. Just great.
The paint was cold and, from what Catra could tell, had gotten not only on her face but her hair. A lot of her hair.
“I’ll go get a washcloth.” Glimmer giggled again, setting her roller on the floor. “Also,” Catra glanced back and wiped the paint off her forehead, “try using a chair.”
Maybe… maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.
She looked back at the wall and fingered her sticky red hair.
Or maybe not.
Catra ducked into the bathroom to clean her face and hair, but by late afternoon they had traded their rollers for hand brushes. Glimmer was on a chair next to the window and Catra on her hands and knees by the door, making gentle strokes right up against the tape.
“Oh!” At the sound of the new voice, Catra’s heart leapt in her chest and she lifted her head. Standing just outside the door, ponytail disheveled and a giant cardboard box in her arms, was Adora. She was wearing the world’s tightest light blue jeans and a loose white t-shirt. The jeans strained at her thighs, and as loose as the shirt was supposed to be, the sleeves wrapped tight around her arms, and the fabric clung to her chest.
Catra glanced at the ceiling. God, I’ll go to church again, I swear. Just take this affliction from me.
From the moment Catra knocked on their door, Adora had been haunting her every thought. No, longer. Since the moment Scorpia told her the names of her new roommates. She tried to convince herself there was at least one other Glimmer in the world, and probably a dozen or so Adoras. And even if there weren’t there was no way they would know each other. There was no way she’d have to face both of them.
She’d been oh so very wrong.
But, desperate times, desperate measures. She couldn’t keep living with Scorpia, not when it meant being looked at with those big, sad, brown eyes every day. Not when it meant spending every “peaceful” moment with the happiest couple on Etheria.
Their couch kinda sucked too.
So, she risked being kicked out to the curb to live with the first friend she’d ever had and…
Adora.
Oh, and that Bow guy.
“Are you done, already?” Adora asked, shuffling the box in her arms. The way she was glancing around the room led Catra to notice the small frown on her face.
Glimmer stepped down from the chair. “Basically.” She smiled. “Looks good though, right?”
Adora forced a smile, but her voice was sincere and sweet. “Yeah. I like the color.” She glanced down at Catra, her smile warming just a little. “It’s very you, Catra.”
Seriously. All the church you could possibly want.
Catra looked back at the spot she’d been painting. She stroked the brush over it once more. “Thanks.” She stood and smirked. “Sparkles hates it.”
Glimmer groaned, and Adora’s smile actually got bright. “I don’t hate it. It’s just—well, it’s a lot, dontcha think?”
Adora shrugged. “Maybe, but I like that. It’s pretty.”
Catra glanced back at Glimmer, her grin smug. “You hear that?”
Glimmer rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “Obviously, I like it enough to help you paint the entire room!”
Adora laughed, but it sounded a little hollow. “I’m kinda hurt you guys didn’t wait for me.”
Catra furrowed her brow. “Why, you obsessed with painting or something?”
Glimmer laughed, and Adora rocked on the balls of her feet.
“Wait, seriously?”
Adora lowered the box in her arms inviting Catra to take a peek inside. Catra leaned forward; there were several canvases and sketchbooks pressed against the side, three jars filled with paintbrushes, and so many bottles of acrylic paint Catra could even begin to count. “I’m a middle school art teacher, so yeah, I’m kind of obsessed with painting.”
Catra lifted her head and arched her brow. “Why is a middle school art teacher bringing her work home with her?”
Adora flushed red and Catra wondered if Adora’s cheek would be warm to the touch.
“Um… well, I—I’m not—”
“She’s a teacher,” Glimmer sighed, stepping up beside Catra. “She spends a bunch of her own money every year on supplies for the kids, and then half the time she can’t afford supplies for herself.” Glimmer shrugged. “So, sometimes she skims. She paid for it, anyway.”
Adora grimaced. “I really don’t do it that often. I swear. I just—I have this art show coming up and all of my submissions so far are digital pieces and I want to do at least one piece in some sort of physical medium.” She sighed and rolled her eyes. “I was gonna do watercolor, but I’m basically out of yellow, and I could just take some of the stuff from school, but they’re pretty cheap – you know, middle schoolers can’t tell the difference. So I don’t wanna do that. Acrylic seems really basic, but I can afford new oils right now. You know, sometimes I wish I taught at the high school. I mean, then I’d work with Bow, which would be great! But also, they just use better supplies, and I know that Mr. Flora works on his own projects in class. But I can’t do that because—”
“Adora,” Glimmer chimed and Adora’s mouth clapped shut.
“Sorry,” she murmured after a second, laughing awkwardly. “Sometimes I ramble.”
Catra smiled a little, in spite of herself. The second Adora said Catra’s name again the day she first showed up, that feeling she had five years ago at the Rainbow Unicorn came flooding back. Adora was just so… good. She was like this warm glowing light that—
That Catra left.
Her smile faltered.
“So,” Glimmer arched her brow, “are you gonna need help unloading furniture tomorrow or something?”
Catra sighed and crossed her arms. “Don’t worry, Sparkles. Scorpia and Perfuma are coming. Can’t exactly carry a queen mattress by myself.”
Adora perked up. “I’ll help!”
Catra eyed her warily. “You really don’t—”
Adora smiled, and it was so bright and sincere Catra thought it might blind her. “I want to.”
Glimmer rolled her eyes, a small smirk on her lips. “I’m sure Bow will want to help too…”
Catra blinked, a weird warmth fluttering around her heart. “Seriously, we’ll be fine. I was gonna hire movers—”
Adora shook her head. “We’re helping. End of discussion.” She turned on her heel and started for the door on the opposite side of the hall. She maneuvered the box in her arms, trying to grab the door handle. But the box was too big and she couldn’t reach.
“Um… could one of you—”
Catra immediately stepped forward. Adora moved back so Catra could reach around her and with a quiet click, Catra opened the door.
Adora smiled and dipped her head in a little bow. “Thanks.” She turned and shot Catra a playful smirk. “Such a gentleman.”
Catra’s cheeks burned, and after Adora had passed through, she stepped away from the door, letting it fall shut. Catra bit her lip and lifted her head to see Glimmer wearing the biggest smirk she’d ever seen.
Well, not ever. But it’d been a while.
“I can’t believe I thought you were straight.”
Catra’s shoulders hunched, and she shot Glimmer a glare. “Shut it, Sparkles.”
Glimmer crossed her arms behind her back and followed Catra as she went back into her bedroom. “You know, she likes you too.”
“Yeah, well, she shouldn’t. I’m kind of an ass.”
Glimmer’s smile grew. “I mean she like likes you.” She glanced down at Catra’s legs. “And Adora loves a nice ass.”
Catra turned, hiding her back end from Glimmer’s gaze. “Well I’m not nice. Besides, smart people don’t date their roommates.”
Glimmer huffed. “Bow and I are engaged.”
“Yeah,” Catra shot Glimmer a smug grin. “I said smart people.”
Glimmer narrowed her eyes. “For that, you can clean up by yourself.”
“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Fifteen minutes later, Catra had folded her tarp, poured the excess paints back in the can, and thrown her brushes and rollers onto the tray. She was wrapping it in a grocery bag Glimmer had helped her find in the kitchen when there was a quiet knock on the door.
Catra looked up to see Adora standing in the doorway. She was smiling, or trying to, with one hand behind her back and the other scratching the back of her neck.
“Hey, Catra.”
Catra bit her lip, nervous. Was this it? Was this the moment Adora actually confronted her, and she had to flat-out lie? Or was she gonna fess up, maybe even apologize for being a dick?
Yeah, probably the lying one.
“Hey, Adora.”
Adora’s smile got a little firmer. She stepped into the room. “I, um…” she furrowed her brow and pursed her lips. “I have something for you.”
Catra stood and crossed her arms. “What, an eviction notice?” She smiled, trying to soften the joke. It must’ve worked, because Adora’s smile was back immediately.
“No. More of a, um, housewarming present?”
She pulled her hand from behind her back. She held out a thin black box that was about the length of her forearm, and maybe two inches tall. Catra took the box from Adora’s hand and slowly, deliberately, lifted the lid.
Inside was a lavender tie with a pretty and delicate paisley pattern in a slightly darker shade. Catra’s heart lept into her throat.
So, Adora definitely remembered.
She’d been hoping she didn’t. Praying is more like it. Adora was drunk that night. She was grieving. And she was deliriously asking to see Catra’s soulmark.
Catra’s fingers dance over the skin of her collarbone, inches above where her soulmark burned on her breastbone.
“Um…” she swallowed, her throat thick with emotion, “thanks.” She furrowed her brow and looked up into Adora’s crystal clear gray-blue eyes. “How did you know I wear ties?”
Adora sighed, shoulders falling. Catra wasn’t stupid; she knew this was a callback. This was meant to remind her of the night they met. This was a token, something that said, “lavender still looks good on you.”
But Catra had to play stupid. She couldn’t get her heart broken by this beautiful blonde goddess; she wouldn’t survive it. Adora wasn’t her soulmate – she knew that like she knew the sky was blue and the ocean was deep.
And even if, by some miracle, she was… it wouldn’t be enough.
“I um…” Adora closed her eyes and shook her head. “I asked Scorpia. Yeah,” she lied, and it was so obvious Catra’s stomach turned. “I asked her what a good gift for you would be, and she said a tie was, you know, good.”
Catra nodded slowly, taking the tie out of the box. She ran her thumb over the silky fabric. “It’s beautiful, Adora. Thank you.” She tried to smile. “Wish I could wear it to work, but these days I spill a little too much beer.”
Adora perked up again. “Where do you work?”
Catra clenched her jaw but kept her strained smile on her face. “Um, it’s this shitty gay bar a few blocks from here?” She sighed. The lies were too easy. Just like lying had always been. Easier. “The—”
“Rainbow Unicorn?” Adora asked, her voice hiking in pitch.
Catra nodded and placed the tie back in the box. “Yup, that’s the one.”
Adora smiled for half a second before her brow furrowed and her whole demeanor fell. “That’s my favorite bar. I’ve been going there for years.”
Catra nodded, biting the inside of her cheek hard. “Well, now you’re gonna get free drinks, so what’s not to love?”
Adora nodded and forced a smile. “Have a good night Catra.” She started to back up, arms behind her back. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She got about halfway into the hallway when she turned and rushed back into her own bedroom.
Catra’s shoulders fell and her stomach turned.
This was going to be harder than she thought.