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Shadow walked into the apartment, collapsing onto the bed in a heap. They had dropped Parappa off at Mei’s, the boy not wanting to leave Shadow’s side. But Shadow knew Parappa would be safer with his mother.
He shivered, his body finally reacting to the stress he was under. He let out a sob, fisting the bedsheet as Sandy walked into the room and put a hand on his shoulder.
He looked at her, red eyes watery as he hiccupped. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, ” he mumbled, holding onto his girlfriend.
She held him back, a shudder going through her before she pulled away. She took his hands in hers, squeezing them for a moment as dried blood flaked off his hands. Sandy couldn’t find the words to reassure him that everything would be alright. She wasn’t sure if that was a possibility even more.
Shadow continued to sob, tucking Sandy against him. He didn’t want to let her go, didn’t want her to slip through his fingers again.
He kissed her, tears tracking down his face as he pulled away. Silence filled the apartment, Shadow eventually got up to shower and wipe the grime, dirt, and blood off him.
Sandy sat on the bed, checking her phone and finding it to be four in the morning. Exhaustion pulled at her eyelids, adrenaline still coursing through her veins.
“Why didn’t you kill him?” Shadow asked, walking out of the bathroom and into the room.
“I. . .I wouldn’t be able to handle another death on my hands,” she stammered, picking at her nails.
Shadow nodded, pulling back the covers. “I wanted him dead,” he confessed, swallowing as Sandy looked at him. He could feel her gaze on him, he kept his back turned for this very reason. He didn’t want to see the disappointment on her face. “I wanted him dead,” he repeated, sniffling.
“Shadow,” Sandy started, wrapping her arms around him. “I won’t let nothin’ hurt you, understand?”
He nodded, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes.
“I can grab us a therapy appointment,” she continued. “Dr. Zoldi would love to see you safe, I would too,” she said, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.
Shadow took in a shaky breath, sleep pulling at him as Sandy let him go. “Don’t leave me,” he begged, grabbing her hand.
“I won’t,”
Shadow pulled her into bed with him, into his lap as he kissed her temple. They would get through this. Together.
Dr. Zoldi looked the same as the first time Shadow saw her. He sat across from her, fiddling with the sleeve of his sweater.
“Good to see you again, Shadow,” She said, smiling at him as she looked over his paperwork.
“I. . .it’s good to see you too,” he said, looking at the coffee table. “I came here today because my girlfriend set this up,”
“Good, it always helps to be punctual,” she said, smile never wavering. She talked him through what was bothering him, quiet as Shadow told her the whole story.
Of how Proton brought Shadow under his wing, of how he began fighting. How he had left the Electros only to return like a bad habit of his. He stopped once he reached the subject of Proton’s death.
“First,” Dr. Zoldi started, putting a hand on top of Shadow’s. “I’m sorry you went through all of that. Second, I’m here to help if you’ll let me,”
He nodded, squeezing Dr. Zoldi’s hand. “Thank you,”
She smiled back at him, prescribing him medicine to help him sleep as well as medicine for depression and anxiety. Shadow walked out of the therapy building feeling lighter and like a weight had been lifted off his chest.
He headed back to the apartment, hugging and kissing Sandy as she stood in the small kitchen, making dinner.
“How’d it go?” she asked, hugging him back.
“Good, I have to stop by the pharmacy tomorrow,” he answered, taking a seat at the table. He clasped his hands together, continuing, “I. . .you could’ve left me. And you didn’t. Why?”
Sandy turned, turning the stove off and wiping her hands on a dish towel. “Shadow, I wasn’t ‘bout to let you ruin yer progress, ‘specially not fer some low-down, dirty loser like the Electro family. Yer so much more than yer strength, hon,” she said, glancing away from him for a moment.
She made eye contact a few seconds later, smiling at him before finishing up dinner.
Shadow took in her words, his heart beginning to beat wildly in his chest. He was more than a tool to be used. He was someone to be loved and cared about, and frankly, that scared him. What if he messed up down the road and Sandy decided he wasn’t worth it anymore?
Sandy continued looking at her boyfriend, watching his brows knit together as he frowned. “I ain’t goin’ anywhere, be a cold day in Hell ‘fore I do,” she said, setting a plate of food in front of him.
He nodded, beginning to eat. Shadow wasn’t leaving her again, not if he could help it.