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“You had to know that was pointless. I know that you’re a warrior and your instinct is to resist. But I can’t be resisted.”
As Amara grabbed his face and bore into him, his green eyes reflected onto her a feeling she wasn’t able to shake off. She hated him. Hated him for everything he was, everything he had, and everything he was willing to give up.
But in that same way she loved him.
Huh.
With a startling realization an ugly feeling began to blossom in her chest. This feeling was an ache, a longing for something she couldn’t quite place. The only thing she did know was the hurt this feeling caused. When she first awoke after a lifetime of imprisonment she was white hot fury incarnate, but her intended target was nowhere to be found so instead she settled for the closest thing and that had been Dean Winchester.
The valiant Dean Winchester, who time after time defied destiny and overcame the odds more times than can count, whose eyes now left a gnawing feeling in her heart. He had managed, with a single gaze, to strip her raw, tear down every wall, and worm his way to her heart, where he pressed painfully on the ugly bruise that had been left there over a millennia ago.
She tore away from him, which left him stumbling from the sudden movement. She didn’t understand this feeling. This longing, it didn’t make sense. She looked at him and could feel her heartbeat pulsing, the cosmic ringing of bells, reminding her of something she should know, but couldn’t. What? What was it? And for a moment she was terrified because she was the Darkness, she had been since the beginning of time; there was nothing she didn’t understand, nothing she couldn’t comprehend and yet here she was. Staring at a man, who shouldn’t be anything to her, a man who looked at her and caused some nasty feeling to bubble to the surface, and burn her alive.
She was profoundly lost.
It was his eyes, they reflected something she didn’t like. Something that should have been hers. Something that she yearned for.
Burned for.
Hungered for.
What was it?
What?
What-
Oh.
Jealousy.
She was jealous of Dean Winchester.
She nearly scoffed at the thought. She was a primordial being that existed long before this very world was even a thought. She was absolute. As inevitable as death itself. And yet in spite of all that, she, the Darkness herself, was jealous of Dean Winchester. She settled with this revelation and came to a conclusion.
Amara smiled. “Of course, it all makes sense now.” Dean just sputtered in response because one moment this chick was talking about becoming one and now she’s giving vague ass statements like that. “What?”
The smile still remained on her lips, but it was almost wistful now. “Dean, you have something I so desperately want.” Again, Dean was at a loss for words. What could he, a mere mortal man, have that she doesn’t? Something she couldn’t have from the sound of it. “I don’t understand, what the hell do you want?” “You of all people should understand.”
“What? I don’t-”
“Your brother.”
Dean instantly tensed. Oh hell no. No way in hell was a cosmic entity going anywhere near his brother. Whatever Amara wanted with Sam, she was going to have to go through him first. Amara must have sensed this because she said, “Don’t worry, I don’t want your brother Dean. Not literally.” “Then what do you want with him?” Amara peered at him as if the answer were right in front of him. “I want,” She hesitated. “I want what you and your brother have.”
This floored Dean. It was such a simple desire, too simple in fact for someone of her power, but yet he still didn’t fully comprehend. “What me and Sam have? Lady, I have no idea what you’re talking about, my brother and I are just trying to stop another apocalypse and we will succeed because I have faith in my brother and he’s never let me down before.” Dean expected some sort of reaction, maybe anger at his defiance but instead she continued her sorrowful smile.
“You and your brother would die for each other, have died for each other. Your brother knew curing you from the mark would release me and yet he did it anyway, fully prepared to die by your hands.” She approached him slowly. “Your brother damned the world yet again for you. Don’t you understand how beautiful that is? My dear brother would never.”
“So that’s what this is huh? You’re toying with people's lives for what? Your brother didn’t love you enough?” Her eyes steeled and mouth hardened. “My brother locked me away, so that his little creations could exist, he banished me away without a second thought, should he not have to answer for his transgressions?” Dean scoffed. “Your brother made a selfish decision because he thought he was doing the right thing.” He received a sharp look so he held his hands up in mock surrender. “I’m not saying he was justified in his actions but siblings disagree sometimes, god knows me and Sam have had our fair share of fights.”
“Is that what you think this is? A disagreement? He locked me away, you couldn’t understand that pain because your brother would never betray you like that. You two will always put the other first, that’s the Winchester’s flaw. The world could be burning, but it would be fine so long as you two had each other. Am I wrong?” She stared at him expectantly.
“You don’t know a damn thing about me and my brother.”
“I know more than you think Dean.”
“This isn’t about me and my brother, this is about you and God and your inability to talk like normal siblings.” This statement put a contemplative look on Amara’s face, like she was wrestling with an idea, unable to decide. “That is an ironic observation, considering your relationship with your brother, weren’t you the one that tricked him into letting the angel Gadreel possess him?” Dean took a step back, guilt radiated from him. “How did you-?”
“I know many things. I know in spite of that blatant act of betrayal, your brother still worked tirelessly to free you from the mark, despite your wishes. In a way it was Sam Winchester who freed me, not you.” She tilted her head, as if only realizing this now. “If it had been up to you Dean, I’d still be locked away. You were ready to behead your little brother to keep me sealed up.” Amara smiled. “Perhaps I should find a way to thank your brother.”
“I swear if you lay a hand on him I will-”
“You will what? Kill me?” She scoffed. “Please don’t delude yourself Dean.” She huffed, looked around and straightened out her dress. “I’d say this was quite a fruitful conversation, wouldn’t you? You have given me something to think about Dean. A revelation of sorts.” She grinned, “So, I’m afraid I’m going to have cut our discussion short.”
“Wait, Amara-”
In the blink of an eye Dean was right back at the park. He looked around for signs of anything strange, but settled when nothing seemed off. Something about the conversation with Amara made him uneasy, the switch from absolute destruction to family drama nearly gave him whiplash. The wistful tone, boarding on sorrow, when she talked about his relationship with Sam left him down right unsure. She said she wanted their relationship and by the look in her eyes, she wasn’t bluffing him. It was almost as if she was-
Holy shit.
Holy shit!
Amara was jealous.
But why?
“To have a brother who would die for you. Well who wouldn't want that?”
Huh.
Maybe that little nerd from all those years ago had been onto something. He looked down at his phone and saw a missed call from Sam.
Shit.