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yeah, crying is okay, feelin' is okay

Summary:

leo finds his little brother in a rough spot, and of course, leo stays.

[very dialogue heavy, i apologize]

Notes:

i'm VERY new to the rottmnt fandom, (like, 2 days in,) so... i'm sorry if i get some stuff wrong!

tw: intrusive thoughts, not major or heavy, but just some negative feelings/self talk.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Leo, as usual, was up late, writing in his journal. He always struggled with this activity - but he knew he had too, he knew it was good for him, his siblings knew it too. And it made them happy, more than it made him, anyway. 

 

He usually used this journal for feelings, memories, or general notes and recounting of the day.

 

He yawned, though bored, he began enjoying the silent and quaint feeling of the night.

 

…or, early morning. 

 

And, it was quiet for a while.

 

“Mhm…! Mmm…” 

 

What was that? 

 

“Dad… ‘M here, ‘m want, bad!” The being whined, the boy's voice breaking.

 

Leo thought through who it could be: Donnie? No, this voice sounded… sleepy. Donnie is never sleepy at this time. Raph? No, he was already out adventuring and training.

 

So that only left… Mikey. 

 

When this realization hit Leo, his heart ached - Mikey was usually so perky and cheery, kind of annoying? Yes, but sweet. 

 

His happiness and perceived obnoxiousness were always a constant in everyone’s life.

 

And it was appreciated.

 

Leo was always a bit closer to Mikey than with his other brothers. He hated to admit it, but he was much more protective and loving towards the younger turtle, partly due to the inherent nature of him being the younger brother, and due to the recent discovery that Mikey was something referred to as an “age regressor". And Leo was the only one who knew, but he treasured this information, and he treasured every moment he spent with this “little” form.

 

He hated that he contributed to his bodily and physiological damage, but he was happy he could “heal” him, in a way.

 

Especially now, as they have recently faced one of, if not the biggest battle yet, and it was clear it was taking a toll on Mikey, talking less, sleeping less, eating less. And, well, Leo was beginning to blame himself for it. 

 

And, well, he was starting to become quite defensive of Mikey… little or not. 

 

So much so that Mikey even called him “Dad” a few times. 

 

Mikey always cried afterwards, though. 

 

Leo bit his lip and slipped on his shoes, throwing down his journal, and began to walk over to his brother’s room.

 

“Bub?” Leo knocked, “I know it’s you, you gotta let me in.”

 

Mikey slowly opened the door, his lip quivering, though he tried his best to hide it. 

 

“Buddy?” 

 

And just then, Mikey broke down, crying into his hands. 

 

“Oh, oh no, it’s okay, it is,” Leo whispered, making it over to the boy and hugging him.

 

Mikey sobbed, gripping Leo’s shirt,  “I’m sorry, ‘m sorry, ‘m shouldn’t screw up so much.”

Leo’s heart sank.

 

“No… no , look, let’s go sit on your bed, yeah? Let’s talk, yeah.” 

 

Leo and Mikey then took a slow trot to the younger sibling’s bed, Leo rubbing Mikey’s back the whole way - and eventually, the two made it onto his bed. 

 

“What’s up buddy?”

Mikey had no answer.

 

“Whatever you say, honey, I’ll understand, or I’ll try to, I pinky promise.” 

 

Mikey looked up, taking a deep breath. 

 

“I don’t like me, or myself, I don’t like… at all, bad bad, hate hate.” 

 

Leo didn’t know how to respond, was he contributing to these feelings? 

 

“I understand, angel, how are these thoughts making you feel?”

 

Mikey paused to think over a response, he picked at his fingers for a while, unsure. 

 

“I think…” Mikey began, “I think it makes me feel… sad.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah,” Mikey nodded, “I think so… because I'm crying. And, when I cry, that means I’m sad.” 

 

“Oh, yeah,” Leo agreed, bending over to reach for some sort of comfort item, “I cry when I’m sad too.” 

 

“It… bad.”

 

Leo quickly shot up, retrieving a small stuffed cat, “I know, it doesn’t feel good, but, it’s okay to feel sad, and frustrated, or anything, and it’s okay to cry over these things, it’s okay to cry, baby.” 

 

“‘M know, ‘m think, but I cry… a lot.” 

 

“But that’s okay, we all cry,” Leo soothed, placing the stuffed animal onto the boy's lap. 

 

“Nuh uh, Donnie don’t!” Mikey replied, frustrated.

 

Leo raised an eyebrow, chuckling, “Nuh uh! He does! Haven’t you seen him cry before?” 

 

Mikey hummed in response, tearing up once again, he didn't want to remember… that.

 

“Oh, no… no , I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you think about those things again, I know you already feel icky.”

Mikey nodded.

 

“Yeah, but, what I’m trying to say is that… Donnie cries too, just, less, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel those yucky feelings at all, it just means he responds to it differently, and that's okay.” 

 

Mikey sniffled, clutching his stuffed animal close to his chest, “P’omise?”

Leo smiled, bringing the smaller turtle into a hug, “Yeah, I pinky promise,” the older male said, bringing down his pinky to match the younger’s. 

 

Mikey giggled, interlocking fingers with his brother. 

 

“Now. I think someone needs some more sleep, yeah?”

 

“‘M s’eepy, Papa,” Mikey purred, shuffling closer to Leo. 

 

Leo smiled as his heart swelled, usually he’d be on edge when Mikey would see him as a father figure.

 

But, now, knowing Mikey was calm, and somewhat content, well - Leo was happy. 

 

And as he looked down at his little sibling - or - now son figure, he kissed him on the forehead, he decided to write about this later.

Notes:

hi!! comments are appreciated!

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