Archive of Our Own ^beta

Winter gripped Crossbell with its frigid claws. Outside the train snow fell like cinders, coating the landscape in a blanket of pale white. Renne leaned against the window, breath fogging the glass. Like a paintbrush, quick strokes of her finger drew doodles in the fog. She smiled, a pang of wistfulness biting her heart. Renne did not like admitting she was nervous about anything. How could someone as capable as her lack confidence? Yet, when it came to matters of family she had always struggled.

Since the eve of the Great Twilight Harold’s voice had echoed in her mind, repeating that foolish request over and over.

What a fool, Renne thought. The only reason he had said that was to keep himself sane, to reassure himself he would make it out of the war alive. A selfish man, through and through. But here she was, entertaining a fool’s request.

A voice crackled over the train’s speakers, “We are now approaching Crossbell. Please remember to take all your luggage with you when leaving the train.”

Hesitation clouded her mind. She could remain in her seat, pretending to head elsewhere. After all she was of no help to the Hayworths. They had Colin now. What use did they have for a daughter long forgotten? One whose past was darker than the shroud of the Great Twilight? Yet, her legs began to move unprompted. Before Renne knew it she was outside. With a metallic thud the train doors closed behind her. Like rolling thunder, hundreds of shoes clacked against the platform’s hard surface.

“Must be Estelle’s influence.” She muttered. Renne’s older sister had rubbed off on her, much to her chagrin. Conceding defeat she made her way through the familiar streets of Crossbell. Her destination was a manor-house in the residential district.

The crunch of snow punctuated her footsteps. Crossbell was lively and brimming with people shopping for the winter season. The first since its independence. Scarves obscured people’s faces, layers of clothes hiding their bodies.

Laughter rang throughout the central square as kids threw snowballs at one another. An errant throw almost caught Renne in the side of the head. With trained reflexes she pirouetted, dodging the attack. The audience applauded and she responded with a curtsy. A small girl watched wide eyed with mitted hands clasped together in awe. The black cat next to her trotted up to Renne, head raised. She gave the cat a quick scratch under the chin inciting a throaty purr. Then, Renne was on her way. She was glad Coppe was keeping an eye over Crossbell. The city needed someone with common sense, after all.

Down West Street she went. The smell of freshly baked bread wafted from Morges, the aroma of walnuts warming her nostrils. Pangs of hunger caused Renne’s stomach to rumble in protest. A few minutes later she emerged from the shop with a white paper package tucked into her bag. If she was attending a dinner it was common courtesy to bring a gift. She would expect anyone to do the same were she to host a tea party.

Making her way to the right the mansions of the Residential District soon loomed over her. Trails of smoke curled from chimneys, chatter bubbling from behind closed doors. Travelling the streets by herself made Renne nostalgic for her time in Crossbell before Estelle and Joshua had caught up to her. It was a shame that Joerg was no longer around. She used to enjoy spending time with Pater-Mater and the old man, delving into Ouroborous’ schemes. If the rumours about the Crown Prince joining were true then the organisation really were desperate.

The Hayworth’s mansion was at the end of the street. Their Orbal car sat in the drive, snow hugging its tyres. Candles illuminated the windows and a wreath hung in the doorway. A quintessential well-to-do family home all ready for the winter festivities. Renne felt out of place.

The plain metal of the door knocker rapped against the wood. Once, twice and then, on the third time, a voice called.

“I’ll be there in a second!” A soft voice, muffled by the thick wood. Like mice rustling around their den, the scurrying of several pairs of feet could be heard behind the door. Renne tapped her foot against the porch step hands tucked into her armpits for warmth. A family passed by with children laughing and rolling in the snow. One of the mothers picked their child up, dusting down the snow from their child’s coat. Before their mothers could stop them the kids had managed to cover themselves in snow once more. Smiles all round, the family continued down the street. Laughter echoed throughout the Residential District. Renne allowed herself a small smirk.

She mused that family was a curious concept. Even if not related by blood people felt the need to have a sense of belonging. Rean and his friends loved to prattle on about bonds and friendship, and Renne felt a sense of belonging with Estelle and Joshua. Yet, something still drew her back to the Hayworths. Even with her grasp of the nature of people, and the nature of the world, what family meant to her was a question she could not answer. Part of her tried to feign disinterest in such topics. However, she knew she would not be here today if she did not have an interest.

The door swung open bringing with it a gust of warm air. Inside stood a tall woman whose red hair tumbled past her shoulders. A dress of crimson and violet swathed her body, a choker inlaid with a single amethyst hugged her neck. Peeking from behind the pleats of her dress was a young boy, no more than six years old. Red hair matched that of his mother’s. His eyes, sparkling in the light, interrogated Renne with a childlike curiosity.

On seeing Renne at the door Colin charged into her legs, gripping her waist in a tight hug. Renne’s lips pulled themselves into a smile. “It's good to see you, Colin.”

“Mum, it's that girl who saved me! You said she wouldn’t come back, but I knew she would.”

Sophia hid a laugh behind the back of her hand. “Your dad was convinced too Colin. You have both proven me wrong. Why don’t you come inside, Ms. Bright? Dinner will be ready shortly.”

Shedding some of her layers Renne made her way up to the kitchen. A pot of tea already adorned the table, steam spiralling from its spout. On the table was the latest issue of the Crossbell Times. The headline of the paper spoke of the independence of Crossbell and the ever-looming Calvardian threat. The peace they had was fragile. Like brittle glass, cracks of conflict threaded their way through the continent. Renne knew it was not long before some self-proclaimed hero would have to step in once again. Perhaps she would have to be there to nudge them along.

As she sat down Renne faced a man she thought she might never have seen again. Tense muscles cut hard lines into the face of Harold Hayworth, the stress of conscription and a looming war likely fraying his nerves. It was surprising he had no grey hairs yet. Renne knew the toll it took to fight battle after battle so she could only sympathise with Harold. It was not something she would wish on anyone else. As Renne’s gaze met that of Harold, he smiled. “Ms. Bright. I’m glad you made it.”

“From what I heard you had every faith in me showing up.” She quipped, tongue sharp as a whetted scythe.

Harold’s eyes snapped away, stealing a look at Sophia. A smile crept its way across his face. The hard lines in his skin softened as his muscles relaxed. “I did. And I’m glad you came. I imagine you’re hungry after travelling all this way. I know it’s nothing special, but we made a stew. It’s a recipe Ena, the mayor of Armorica’s wife, taught us.”

“And I helped! I put all the potatoes in, then the carrots and stirred it all up!” Colin chirped, enthusiasm at his contribution abundantly clear.

“That’s brilliant Colin, I can tell you worked really hard.” Renne tousled his bright red locks. If you could personify innocence Colin would be the poster child.

In response to Renne’s praise Colin returned a toothy grin. The four of them took their seats around the dining table. Harold and Sophia on one side, Colin and Renne on the other. The walnut bread Renne bought earlier had been sliced and placed on a plate, its nutty smell tempting Renne’s taste buds. The rich stew combined with the bread was heavenly. The cold in her bones began to ebb as the warmth from the food suffused her body.

As they ate small talk flitted over the table. Harold and Sophia were visibly tense. Renne noted the lines that creased their eyes and the furtive glances they made in Renne’s direction. It was as if they knew the truth behind a mystery, but were too afraid to utter the answer. Colin was more than happy to share stories with her, however. Sunday school and his love for wildlife were the two main topics. Renne listened as she ate, nodding along as Colin told his tales. All the facts he regaled her with, she already knew. Playing along was more fun though.

Once Colin was done speaking of his latest exploits at school Harold decided to join the conversation. “So, Renne. Where do you go to school?”

“Jenis Royal Academy in Liberl.”

“Have you made many friends?”

“Yes. I still keep in contact with an old friend of mine who has been studying in Erebonia.”

“You seem to have friends all over. Crossbell, Liberl, Erebonia. Even with my work as a merchant I don’t travel nearly as far as you do.”

“Where you travel to is not what matters, it’s who you meet along the way.” Renne threw Colin a knowing wink. The young boy giggled as if he shared some hidden secret with her. The escapade of two years ago was still fresh in Renne’s memory.

“Just so.” Harold replied.

An awkward silence gave itself a seat at the table. The rattling of cutlery was the only sound that dared disturb the quiet. A barrier held strong between Renne and the Hayworths. Renne knew that if that nosy detective were here right now he would be itching to give a speech on such a topic. Crude as his phrasing was Lloyd Bannings did know how to rally people behind him. Meanwhile, Renne preferred to work by herself. Depending on others was only setting yourself up for failure.

That was what she would have said not long ago, before her surname became 'Bright'.

Colin, having finished his meal faster than any of them, took his plate over to the sink and announced he was going to play upstairs. Renne sensed that the kid had a good sense of when best to make an exit. More than could be said for some people she knew, especially in Ouroborous. Some of their number enjoyed hanging around like a bad smell. A certain blonde haired Anguis taunted Renne in her mind’s eye.

Once the thuds of Colin’s feet on the stairs had subsided, Harold and Sophia turned towards Renne.

“So.”

“So.” Renne paused. A bark of laughter cracked the silence. Two grown adults being as awkward as a kid on their first day at school. What an absurd situation. Coming all this way she had expected the Hayworths to talk openly with her. It seemed they were both still plucking up courage to ask the question. A question about a daughter who they had lost years ago.

Renne reflected on her own handling of the situation. For a long time she had played defensively. On the occasions where she and the Hayworths had crossed paths she had taken the utmost caution. To bring herself back into their lives would only invite pain. Not just the pain of remembering a child they thought dead, but the risk of those who haunted her past using the Hayworths as leverage. Part of her wanted them not to ask. She wanted to keep on hiding herself, protecting them from harm.

Yet, an inexorable force kept pulling her back to them.

“You don’t need to worry about us, Renne.” The words grabbed Renne in a firm grasp. Harold wore a slight smile. Eyes tinted red, tears welled in their corners. Sophia hid behind a handkerchief, sniffles muffled by the fabric. Renne’s usual dry wit had abandoned her. She was too focused on what Harold had to say.

“We can handle ourselves. After all, we made it through bankruptcy and losing our home. Then, the Azure Tree and the Great War. Don’t feel you need to shut yourself out to protect us. That selflessness will get you nowhere. In life you need to be a bit selfish, to look after yourself.”

“You seriously think my actions are selfless? How naïve.” Renne retorted, the smugness in her voice thick as treacle.

Gentle as always the smile on Harold’s lips curled. His gaze softened. Like folded paper lines creased the edges of his eyes. “I feel like you are being naïve yourself, Renne. You wouldn’t have come today unless you were selfless enough to care about us.” A pause, then Harold continued to speak. Words slow and deliberate, each word was enunciated with the utmost care. It was as if he were walking a tightrope, terrified of what lay on either side. “I asked this once before and I shall ask it again; does the name ‘Renny’ mean anything to you?”

In a verbal riposte Renne immediately rebuked the statement. “I could not say.”

“And you say your surname is Bright. Was that always the case?”

Renne thought about her answer for a score of seconds. Feeling her last answer was too dismissive, she replied earnestly. “No. It was not. I must say, Mr Hayworth, you see right through me.” Letting a crack form in her mask she mirrored Harold’s smile. “Perhaps I inherited some of your perceptiveness. After all, I can tell you both have been wanting to ask about my parents since we first met. It was why I avoided you for so long.”

“So why come back now?”

“I met some people who made me see things differently. My new family are nosy, involving themselves in others' business all the time. I was merely curious about what you had all been up to. And besides, I could not in good conscience miss a fun tea party.”

“So you admit that you and our Renne are one and the same?”

Renne weighed her next words on the scales of her conscience. She had reached a juncture. To go beyond here was to accept a part of her past. A part she had tried to discard for so long. Yet she knew that if she did not speak here and now, the regret would weigh on her for the rest of her days. Tone as calm as a still pool, she spoke.

“Yes. I will never be the daughter you once knew. I have been shaped by the events that have marked my life so far. Whilst I am now Renne Bright, I was once Renne Hayworth.”

Tears streamed down Harold’s face, glimmering in the artificial light. Unwavering, his face remained as stone. Save for the smile that began to swallow it all.

“Please, Mr Hayworth. There is no need for such emotion. After all, I-”.

Suddenly, Renne felt the dampness on her cheeks. Her mask shattered, fragments began to fall away

“I-, I-.” Her vision became a blur of colour. A tightness constricted her chest, breathing becoming ragged. Water welled at the corners of her eyes, her dams of emotion marked by a labyrinth of cracks. The loss of Pater-Mater was the last time she had felt emotions like this. Yet, this time, it felt calmer. Like she was the one in control. An echo of familiarity flickered in her mind from a time before the greatest tragedy of her short-lived life. She saw glimmers of a bright past buried amongst the gloom.

Wood scraped against wood as Renne shoved her chair backwards. Arm covering her tear stricken face she grasped helplessly for her bag. Her chest shook in a storm of emotion, sobs wracking her body. Rooted in place, it was as if her feet had snarled themselves into the floorboards. Curling into a ball she cursed herself. Why had she come? To satisfy some selfish desire? Or to try and close the book on yet another chapter of her life?

Time made a graceful exit, ceasing to exist. All Renne felt was the shaking of her body and the tears that swelled like a river down her face. Familiar arms ensnared her body wrapping her in a tight embrace. After a while the shaking slowed and she could feel her body once more. The smell of lavender suffused her nostrils, soft hair pressing into her face. Pulling herself back she was greeted by the tear-struck face of Sophia. Handkerchief in hand she gently dabbed at Renne’s face, drying it.

“It’s okay now sweetheart. We all need to cry every now and then, don’t we? It’s important not to let everything get bottled up. Sometimes I feel Colin goes too far the other way.” A flicker of a smile swept across Sophia’s face. “Come and sit down and I’ll make you a fresh cup of tea. We have a lot to talk about.”

Renne conceded. A warm drink was exactly what she needed right now. Something to steady her mind, and her shaking hands.

The past was a curious thing. Something Renne did not enjoy reflecting on. Yet, melancholy had its claws in her heart. So, she had told Harold and Sophia an abridged story. One devoid of the tragedies that had marked each chapter of her life. Renne had decided they were of little import. Positive memories were what she weaved tales of. Not to make a good impression or to make out she had been a model child in her absence. It was to give hope for a future in which a broken girl like her could have a family. One by the name of ‘Bright’.

Estelle’s influence loomed over Renne like the sun on her back. Hope, family and love. All concepts she would have scoffed at in the past. But now they felt comforting, like a warm drink on a cold winter’s night.

“Thank you Harold, Sophia. I appreciate your patience.” Renne inclined her head ever so slightly. “And your hospitality. Whilst we have spoken briefly in the past we have never had a chance to speak at length.”

Sophia gently rested a hand on her own chest. “And I thank Aidios that we have. You know, Colin has always been enamoured with you since that time you saved him. Why not introduce yourself to him. Properly, this time.”

“Oh, I couldn’t. I have my-”

“We are not trying to take you away from the family you have found. The family you now love. Only, we ask that you could at least let Colin know. If he knew he had a big sister he would be over the moon.”

Renne smirked. “A selfish request. But I shall acquiesce. After all, Colin needs a big sister to teach him about the world. Make sure he does not get into more trouble than he already has.”

At that moment a spark of red hair dashed up the stairs, any sense of stealth thrown to the winds. As the patter of small feet subsided Renne decided to follow. Looking backwards, she saw Harold and Sophia both give nods of approval.

“Colin? Are you there?” Sophia shouted. No reply.

Another flitter of noise came from upstairs, quiet as a butterfly in the wind. Then, louder, a gasp.

“There is something I wish to say to you.” Renne called, feigning ignorance of Colin’s location.

It was obvious where the boy was. Even without his bright red hair Renne spotted him in an instant. A cabinet obscured a fraction of his body, his eyes sparkled like jewels in the dim light. Standing over him Renne stared down, hands on hips.

“Are you trying to hide from me?”

“You found me! How did you do that?!”

“Magic.” Renne whispered, putting a finger to her lips. Colin’s lips curled inwards as he insinuated a vow of silence. “Your mother and father said I should speak to you. But I can only do that if you stop hiding.”

Still, his lips were curled inwards with childish impudence. Hands behind his back the young boy pretended to distract himself with something in the window. Renne stared at him until he relented, running downstairs squealing.

With the family all downstairs Sophia managed to calm Colin enough to sit. Even so, he was perched on the edge of his seat. Restless, his legs swung freely.

“Do you remember my name, Colin?” Renne began.

“Purple-haired girl!”

Renne’s face found her palm. A long, drawn out sigh left her lips. “No. Try again.”

Colin seemed to enjoy this game. His legs stilled as he rested his chin on his palm. Biting his lip, the young boy seemed deep in thought. A half minute later, Colin jumped from his seat and squealed in delight. “Renny! Mum said you were Renny! When we met by the boats, I remember her saying that name.”

“Yes, that’s almost correct. ‘Renny’ has something to say to you Colin.”

A flicker of darkness eclipsed her mind. It told Renne she did not deserve neither this family, nor any sense of belonging. How could she call herself a sister when she had been absent for so long? Call the Hayworths family when she barely knew them?

Like paper, her brow crumpled inwards as she pinched the bridge of her nose. She crushed those doubts in the palm of her mind. Those intrusive thoughts mirrored what she had felt when meeting Estelle and Joshua. No longer would she let them rule her life.

“I’ll be like your big sister from now on. I can’t live with you all the time, I have my own family I live with. But I will make sure to visit. So make sure you keep on working hard, Colin. Especially on learning all those facts you told me.”

“I will! Big sister…” He giggled, loud and free. Teeth flashed between his lips as his laugh illuminated the room. “I’ll make sure to have lots of facts when you next visit!”

A chuckle rolled across the table. “It seems like Colin has already taken a shine to you Renne.” Harold said.

Closing her eyes Renne let a smile tug at her lips. “He has. Let’s hope he takes more after his parents than his sister.”

Snowflakes clung to Renne’s coat as she walked out the door. Day had turned to night and the city had begun to slumber. Only the Entertainment District, lights bright as the sun, showed any signs of life.

Light spilled out from the mansion, the silhouettes of the Hayworths casting long shadows onto the garden path. Renne had departed with a promise to visit again, with the invite extending to the rest of the Bright family as well. Including Cassius, of course. The promise was something she intended to keep.

In her hand Renne grasped a small box and a roll of paper. Wrapped delicately in tissue paper she dared not pry open the box. It was a gift from her parents, and a surprise for when she returned to Rolent. Content nestled itself at the hearth of her heart. It was a feeling she never wanted to end.

Rolent was quiet, an all consuming stillness blanketing the town. In the forest on the outskirts was an old brick house, pond rife with freshwater fish. Renne was unsure who put them there but she suspected some scheme of Cassius’. One involving him spending a lot of time fishing.

The fire roared in the hearth flushing Renne’s face a bright red. Like a cat she edged closer to the warmth, curling up on the rug. Coddling a cup of cocoa she took a long sip. A white ribbon adorned her head, accented against the rich violet of her hair. It had been a gift from her newfound family.

Rolled out on the floor was a crude drawing, obviously done by a young child. The subjects of their artpiece were obvious. A brown haired man and his red haired companion. A white haired woman and her blue haired colleague. And finally, a girl with purple hair, scythe grasped firmly in one hand. When Renne had unrolled the picture the tears almost came back again. It had been somewhat embarrassing, given she was on a public train. The absurdity of it all had made her laugh. Renne had never thought she would become so emotional like this. Part of her welcomed the fact her mask had begun to slip away.

“So. How did it go?” The red-haired woman learned forward, fire mirrored fiercely in her eyes. If Renne had not known better she could have sworn the fire came from her sister’s very soul.

“So nosy Estelle. Do I not even get a break?” Renne heard Joshua stifle a laugh.

“Nope. Don’t think you’re getting out of this one.”

“Very well Estelle. I suppose I would never satisfy your endless curiosity. What is it you wish to know?”

“Well did you, y’know, actually speak to them?”

Renne scoffed. “Who do you take me for? Of course I visited them.”

Estelle broke eye contact, instead staring into the depths of the fire. “Part of me was worried you wouldn’t go. I would understand, after all you’ve been through. But I just hope you got some closure.”

“I did.” Renne held her words close to her heart as she debated how to phrase her next sentence. “I will be Renne Bright, now and forever. But being able to speak to the Hayworth family was… Pleasant. Besides, someone needs to keep them all in line. Especially Colin.”

Joshua took his turn to speak. Whilst his voice was soft his words felt slow and deliberate, like pillars standing tall against an oncoming storm. “I’m glad to see you care about them, Renne. You should cherish the fact they are alive. I know Loewe would have said the same.”

Like an arrow, Renne’s sharp laugh ricocheted off the stone walls of the living room. “Perhaps he would, at that.”

The melancholy of earlier still grasped her heart tightly. In her life so far she had felt so much pain. Much of which had been confined to small rooms in her mind. Her ‘friends’ from the orphanage; Loewe, Lianne and the others she met in Ouroborous; and finally Pater-Mater, her rock that helped her stand tall against those who would try and stop her breaking free of the shackles of her past. She could see the look of her past self, incredulous at what she was now about to say. Yet, she had grown enough to see past the prejudices that mired themselves in her mind.

“I truly appreciate everything you have done for me Estelle, Joshua. Even Cassius, meddlesome as he is, has my gratitude. A few years ago I had a darkness that swelled in my heart. But you Estelle, bright as the sun, burned it away. As my family I shall be in debt to you all. And I hope it stays that way forever, until either myself or Zemuria meet our ends.”