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James didn’t know how he ended up in an alliance with Yul.
Well, actually, he did. Riya had sent Yul to the other team for whatever reasons he couldn’t care to recall. All that mattered was that James promised that they would vote together, so he supposed that made them friends. Sort of. Not really. He didn’t really have a choice though. Not if he wanted to stay in the game. Even if Yul was vile and downright despicable, he couldn’t complain. He got himself in this situation, so he had to live with the hole he dug himself in. It wasn’t all bad. James was thankful to have another person to talk to, considering how everything had turned out last time…
James was alone in the cabin. Laying on his bed, scrolling through his phone, what would you expect? Kristal had made the promise that there wouldn’t be any challenges for a few days, so naturally, everyone went off to do their own thing with the friends they had made. It’s not like he had anyone to hang out with. But whatever, he didn’t care… that much.
The humming of the locust echoed through the air. Even with the windows and doors closed, James swore he could still hear their chirps. The air felt particularly nostalgic; the wind was blowing hard outside inconsistently and causing the rustle of the trees to be heard. Maybe the shuffling of the bushes was the wildlife nearby. Nevertheless, it was a calming, comforting atmosphere. Something James had certainly experienced before, though never enough to get used to such stillness. Despite the tension that had been building up through the previous few challenges, it felt like all of it was put on hold just for a moment. James appreciated the peace. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. This was nice.
“James!”
Oh god.
“Jamessss!” A loud, flamboyant voice called throughout the small cabin. Yul really did know how to alert a room of his presence.
James let out a small groan and placed his phone down. So much for having a relaxing evening. He sat up, rubbed his face, and looked over at the overwhelming presence that had just entered.
“What’s up?” James’ attempt to not show his annoyance was abortive at best. He really wasn’t in the mood for Yul’s shenanigans. All he wanted was to relax and go to sleep.
Yul unsolicitedly flopped a seat onto James’ bed, solidifying that this likely wasn’t just a quick favor he wanted to ask. He already made himself comfy. Good to know James’ plan of having a healthy sleep schedule were thrown out the window.
“Heyyy buddy, how are you doing?” Yul flashed a grin. If James were a stranger, he would assume that Yul just wanted to converse with him, make friendly small talk. Unfortunately, James was not blissfully ignorant to who Yul was. He definitely wanted something.
James made a half-assed attempt at casual conversation, simply wanting to cut to the chase as indirectly as possible. “I’m fine.”
“Great, great. Glad to hear you’re doing good. I’m doing particularly well knowing I'm hanging with my best buddy right now. Have you been doing… anything interesting?”
“No.”
Yul pouted before he let out that obnoxious laugh of his. “Sad life you live, not doing anything on such a lovely evening. Are youuuu… using your phone?”
Oh god. Not this again. “Not at this moment.”
“Good, well, I guess you won’t mind me using it again? You know, checking in on some friends.”
James groaned. “Oh no no no. The last time you checked in on your socials, you ended up in a TikTok argument because someone called you gay.”
“I was defending my honor!” Yul protested, hands over his chest.
“You told them to kill themselves and asked me if I knew anything about how to dox someone. I would prefer not to monitor like you’re an ipad kid. Again. Seriously, I looked away for a second, how did you manage to do all that?!”
Yul rolled his eyes and flopped his back on the bed, “Ughh, everyone is always trying to villainize me. I’m not allowed to defend myself?”
James snorted. “You’re not going to convince me.”
“Fine, fine. That’s not the reason I'm here though.” Yul sat up and peered at James. “I wanted to talk strategy. I doubt these inbreds will even be thinking about the game while we’re on break, so we might as well get a head start.”
“Do we really have to? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I want to win. I want the million dollars as much as you do, but do we have to start right now? I was about to go to bed.”
Yul rolled his eyes and sneered. “What are you, 64? It’s seven o’clock. Surely you can go to bed an hour or two later like the rest of us.”
James let out another irritated sigh, rubbing the bridge of his temples to keep his cool, and nodded. “Alright, alright, fine. What are you thinking?”
Yul clasped his hands together and began his spiel. Mostly, it was him complaining about anyone in the camp that came to mind. Though, it always led back to who they planned to target in the next challenge. James didn’t particularly care for anyone he was mentioning. Whatever Yul wanted to do, he would just follow along. He didn't have his sights set on taking out a particular competitor, and plus, it helped him stay on Yul’s good side by acting if he agreed completely with whatever he was saying as if he were a white knight. If anyone were to target either of them, it would certainly be Yul. James was surprised that Yul had made it this far, considering how anyone would vote for him when given the opportunity. Anyone except…
“...So maybe Aiden would be a good target for us.”
James was snapped out of his thoughts and quick to make a defense, as if it were built into his instinct. "What?! No, we can't vote Aiden off."
Yul looked at him almost offended, and retorted: "And why exactly not? It's not like he exactly serves any purpose to us. He's an enemy, remember? He’s been trying to vote you out ever since you ratted out Karol."
James had to admit, he had only been half-paying attention to what Yul had been saying, considering his plan to just go along with whatever Yul wanted. But he couldn’t just conspire against Aiden, even if they weren’t on great terms right now. That was the whole reason he went after Karol- to protect Aiden from elimination by any means possible. He may not be talking to him at the moment, and even if he never did again, so what? He wanted him around.
"So what? I want him around."
Oh shit. Did he just say that out loud? Yul paused momentarily, simply raising a brow at James' proposal. Even though Yul didn’t speak a single word, It was enough to break James’ usually confident and cool self and cause a stammer.
"I- no- wait wait- What I meant that, um, he won't be a threat. He isn't close with enough people to vote either of us out... He'll be easy to take with us to the finals."
Yul seemed to reconsider this and simply nodded, seemingly acknowledging James' word as correct. “I guess you have a point. He will be easy to eliminate, might as well milk that while we can.”
James tried to hide his growing uncomfortability with the topic of possibly eliminating Aiden. Even if it was hypothetically in the far future, would he be willing to do that when the time came? Even if things continued the way they were with their relationship, James didn't think he could go through with it.
Why did he care so much about this boy? Why did he want to be around him so bad? Why did he want to be his friend? It’s not like he ever needed any before. All he needed was his followers and their support. He didn’t need anybody- he didn’t need Aiden. But it all circled back to one thought: he wanted to be with Aiden. In a friendly way. Not in a beneficial way, like how his relationship was with Yul. All he wanted was to sit next to him, and listen to his soothing voice talk about anything that crossed his mind. James wanted to be able to stand near him. He wanted when they made eye contact, Aiden would give him an endearing look and smile with a wave. James wanted to be able to reach out and clasp his palms on his face, staring at his soft lips and pulling him close to…
“...James! Are you even fucking listening?? Jamesss!!”
Oh shit. He hasn't been listening to a single thing Yul has been saying this whole time. James briskly blinked and snapped his attention back to Yul. “Sorry, sorry, what were you saying?”
Yul huffed and glared. If looks could kill, James would certainly be dead right now. Yul’s already ill-tempered when not given a reason to be angry. His thirst and need for attention amplified it when he presumed someone was ignoring his commentary. “Nevermind, it wasn’t that important anyway. Maybe you should pay attention when I'm speaking to you and you’d actually pick up on something useful. I’m full of endless wisdom.” Yul boasted.
James gave him a skeptical look. Yul immediately got defensive. “What?! Do you think I don’t have important things to say?!”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“Your silence speaks volumes.”
“I was just thinking,”
“As if you ever think.” Yul snorted.
“Hey, don’t be a dick.” James retorted. “ I was just thinking about… what we can do to get further in the game. I was trying to build off of your spectacular ideas.”
Yul smirked. “You’d be able to do that a whole lot better if you listened to my amazing ideas.”
“Alright, alright, fine. Lay it all on me.”
***
Over the past few days, Yul had continued coming in in the evening to attempt to discuss strategy with James. For the most part, it was productive. It consisted mostly of Yul blabbering about whatever came to mind, while James simply agreed despite his better judgement. Though, it was mainly just to appeal to Yul’s ego. Definitely more so the ladder. The two were getting along as well as they could despite the circumstances. Except for one thing.
Everytime Yul mentioned Aiden, James would get all flustered and act like a complete idiot. He really didn’t mean to, but when James was trying not to think too hard about his feelings for Aiden, and then Yul would talk shit about him, James always couldn’t help but glare and become infuriated. He knew he shouldn’t care that much… He needed to set his sights on the million, but his mind always wandered back to Aiden and how he was doing.
It was a routine: Yul would come in, they would talk normally enough, and then Aiden always somehow was mentioned. His mind would wander and he would end up not listening to a thing Yul said. Sometimes Yul would notice, sometimes he would be so engulfed in himself he wouldn't. James felt paranoid that Yul was catching on that he liked Aiden. He didn’t know what Yul would do if he found out. He was unpredictable, and James still had no clue how he would retaliate. Because, let’s face it, Yul would absolutely not take it well. James wasn’t sure what it would mean if he did discover it. A bit for himself, but for Aiden. He shouldn’t care this much about a boy. He shouldn’t be so keen on keeping him out of harm’s way. But he did. He cared a lot.
He needed a way to ease the tension. A plan. Something that he could agree on with Yul to get back on his good side. Or at the very least, pay attention.
The challenges started back up tomorrow. He could only hope that tomorrow would bring that opportunity.
***
The opportunity came.
James felt guilty for tricking Aiden, considering it was his idea. He didn’t have anything against Maggy, really. Yul’s comments towards her always made him uncomfortable, but he wasn’t in a position to speak out against his foul behavior towards her. James was glad that she gave Yul a good black eye. The only thing better than that was if Yul was unfortunate enough to lose that game of rock-paper-scissors.
Aiden was still in the game. Maggy seemed to be doing okay, though he couldn’t be exactly sure. Standing up for herself had to be a good sign, so he could only assume. He was Yul’s good side for appeasing him. He wished he didn’t have to, but whatever it took to win.
Whatever it took to…
James shook his head. Stop trying to be some boy’s soldier; he could take care of himself. It’s not like he let himself get walked all over, especially not in regards to Yul. He would call him out when he was being shitty, insult him when provoked, and walk away when it got to be too insulting. He tended to be naive, though he was not a doormat. James shouldn’t be focusing on making sure Yul stayed as far away from him as he could. James set down his phone, covering his face with his hands. He needed to get himself together.
He was in his bed. Again. Yul would likely arrive momentarily. James couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t dreading talking to him again. He just needed to sleep his thoughts off again. He needed to be alone.
The door opened, and James prayed that it was anyone but Yul.
“Ugh, that circus freak really tried to make me look like her. I don’t know if I'll ever recover!”
God damn it.
James didn’t move at all and continued staring at the bed above him. “You’ve never been clocked in the face before?”
Yul scoffed. “Uh, no. Why would anyone want to hit me? I’ve done nothing to deserve it.”
James rolled his eyes. “I have no idea.”
“What?! Do you think I deserved to be brutally assaulted like that? All I did was speak the truth- nobody ever faces consequences for doing the right thing!”
James couldn’t help but snicker to himself. How could someone be so far up their own ass? He’d find it exasperating if it wasn’t amusing at just how delusional he was to his own self worth. Yul crossed his arms and snarled. “Are you laughing at me?!”
The dark-skinned man finally sat up to look Yul in the eyes. “No, just a sneeze. Hay Fever or… something. Anyway, did you only come in here to rant about this injustice or whatever? Because I really want to go to bed.” James sighed, flopping back onto his bed.
“Uh, no.” Yul scorned and leaned against the bed frame. “I don’t devote myself to being upset over such trivial matters. I consider myself to be above those things.”
“Right.” He replied suspiciously.
“Whether you believe me or not, that’s not important. I came here to talk about what to do next.”
James raised a brow. “About?”
Yul dramatically groaned. “What do you think? About who we’re going to send home next! And after that stunt we pulled today, I think we’ll have to get crafty if we want to stay in the game. That’s why I think we should kick Aiden to the curve.”
James almost hit his head due to how fast he sat up. He breathed through gritted teeth, recovering from the shock, and tried to put back on his cool facade. “Uh…What?”
“Come on, you know that he’ll vote with Lake to get either of us off. He’ll target us for sure. And after that trick you pulled today, he definitely hates you more than ever.”
Ow. That hurt. James felt his heart sting. But Yul was right, Aiden definitely wasn’t fond of him right now. James should just get over it, grow a pair, and vote him out. And never see him again…
He couldn’t bear the thought of that. It was because he…
“He… He wouldn’t. I mean- he will, actually, but-” James stammered, making a pathetically weak defense.
“Exactly. He’s dangerous if we want to keep this alliance going. He’s gotta go.”
James put his hands up and waved them briefly in protest. “Woah, woah, we can’t get rid of Aiden!”
“And why exactly not? Frankly, I don’t see the issue with that plan.” Yul snapped.
“Because, uh, well… He-”
Yul began talking about something… probably explaining why Aiden needed to go. James couldn’t do that. His plan was to keep Aiden in the game. He couldn’t vote him out now. Especially not now. He needed to make things right, Show him that… Shit, shit, shit. Don’t think like that. If Yul targeted Aiden- he couldn’t target Aiden. James wouldn’t allow it because he-
Stop leading back to that thought. That thought about…
"Okay, seriously, what the fuck is your problem?" Yul suddenly hissed in his face. James flinched back, so caught up in his own internal panic that he realized he hadn’t been listening. Again.
"What- What do you- What do you mean?" James’ voice was weak. It made him cringe at how feeble he sounded. Like he was a toddler who just got caught scribbling on the wall. Like he was about to get sent to timeout, or face some other punishment for letting his true nature show.
"Everytime we bring up eliminating Aiden, you start to get all nervous and find some excuse for us not to get him out. And then when I try to explain why I'm right, you hardly listen. All you do is stare off like you’re in some weird trance. What is your deal?"
“What- no- it’s not like that- I-”
It was like that, though. That’s exactly what happened every time, and Yul finally called him out on it. James couldn’t find the words to defend himself, he couldn’t think of some fabricated story or excuse to explain why he had been acting like this. Why was he so intoxicated by Aiden? He knew why… he knew it was because…
"...Don't tell me you actually care for that thing."
Yul had been talking again. James had been silent this whole time and staring like an idiot. Of course that’s what he picked up on of everything Yul was saying. James gritted his teeth in anger. Aiden wasn’t a fucking “thing”. He was a person. He was a kind, honest, beautiful person. Someone that had a heart of gold. A pure soul. Someone that he…
"I don't care!” James spat defensively. He knew he was lying. Yul probably knew he was lying. But in the slight chance that Yul was stupid enough to believe that he didn’t care, then James wasn’t going to admit it to him out loud. Never out loud. “I just happen to think that he's good to keep around. Have you even considered anything I said? I’m a part of this alliance too!"
"Yeah, the first time when you actually had something new to say. Now it just seems like that’s your only argument. I just so happen to think my judgement seems to be more wise than yours. It's not my fault you see value in some skinny-ass twink."
James couldn’t help the boiling anger building inside of him as the moments passed. HIs fists clenched, and he felt himself shaking just a bit. He knew why he was so worked up. Hearing Yul say those things about Aiden… How dare he even think that. Let alone say it. Yul was such a…
"And it also just so happens that your judgement is based on your skewed view of how you see things because you're too much of an egotistical prick to take some criticism. Get over yourself."
Whoops.
Yul seemed taken aback at James’ outburst. James was taken aback by what he just said. He did not mean to say that out loud. James was sure that Yul would blow up, scream about how stupid he was, and the argument would just spiral out of control from there. James wasn’t scared of Yul. He didn’t care what Yul said about him. He cared what Yul would do to Aiden. The two sat in silence for a few tense, awkward moments before Yul simply just let out a furious huff.
"You're lucky that you're the only person I can form a functional alliance with. You would be out of this camp by tonight otherwise." Yul’s voice sounded like venom, despite how calm he was attempting to stay. James was impressed, frankly, that Yul was able to keep his composure. James rolled his eyes and rested his head on his hand, refusing to make eye contact with Yul for longer than a few seconds.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let's just move on and talk about something else."
Yul gave a huff, but seemed to be in no place to argue with James' attempt at moving past the current conversation.
"Fine."
The conversation shifted to the next topic of discussion which James didn’t care to actively engage in. They didn’t reach a conclusion of what to do next. It was too awkward. Not like James wanted to keep talking about the possibility of voting Aiden out. Yul eventually gave up and said he’d talk to him about it later. James had finally got the alone time he wanted.
The tension building between him and Yul was prevalent, Though, Yul didn’t have any room to complain. He needed this alliance just as much as James did. Though, that fact couldn’t help mask the disdain James was building for the arrogant man.
But it’s not like he could just get rid of Yul so easily. So, to try and ease the growing tension, he had to play along. Whether it was to rid himself of his presence, or to protect Aiden from leaving the game, he hoped the opportunity to throw Yul out would come soon.
***
The opportunity came faster than James could’ve ever hoped for. No, he didn’t kill Yul. Not that it would be a bad thing, but James considered himself to be above murder. Mostly. Wait, what was he saying?
Oh right. He poisoned Yul.
When Yul suggested poisoning Aiden, he knew it was time to cut ties. He knew the game was about strategy, but he didn’t think that it would extend to being willing to poison someone. Initially, James didn’t even think he was serious. It was so extreme and downright idiotic that Yul couldn’t have been serious, so he entertained the idea. Like when a toddler wants to play a game of pretend, except with a full grown man. Not like there was much of a difference between the two. When the time came to eat and Yul reminded him of the plan, there was no way in a million years James would poison anyone for such a shitty person, especially not Aiden. Poisoning someone was way too far, even for James’ standards. If he were to poison anyone, it would be Yul. He didn’t expect he would ever hate someone so much he would be willing to send them home in an ambulance. This camp was full of strange surprises.
Yul wouldn’t die. It was small bits of a single mushroom, he’d be fine. Besides the constant vomiting and nausea that would torment him for the next few days. James couldn’t help but snicker at the thought of Yul getting the karma he deserved for all the people he had hurt. The thought of it weighed on his mind. Everything that happened today weighed on his mind, really.
The sun had long set at this point, and it was getting a bit chilly from the wind constantly blowing. It was relatively silent other than the noise of the wind. It would be relaxing if James wasn’t thinking so hard about everything. He sat on the stairs that led up into the cabin, alone. He wasn’t sure where everyone else had gone after the elimination ceremony.
The sound of footsteps could be heard approaching, making James look up to find the culprit of the noise. A short-statured man was seen in the near distance. It was Aiden.
James wasn’t sure if Aiden was simply passing by, or if he wanted to talk to him, but either way, he sat up and gave him his full attention. Aiden gave a passive wave and sat down beside him after a few moments. James’ face lit up.
“Hey.” Aiden informally greeted.
James couldn’t help but stare.
“Hey, buddy.”
Aiden awkwardly chuckled, rubbing the palms of his hands. “You still call me that? We haven’t really talked like this in a while.”
James gave him a soft smile. “I know. It’s just a little nickname, I guess. I like calling you that.”
Aiden’s gaze averted momentarily, though a faint blush could be seen. He looked stunning like that.
“Well… I know I already told you, but thank you for what you did tonight. I can’t say I was expecting Yul to leave with the paramedics… But I also can’t say he didn’t deserve it.” Aiden laughed.
It made James’ stomach fill with butterflies.
Aiden scooted ever-so-slightly closer and finally took another loving look at James. “You were crazy for that, y’know, aren’t you worried he’ll try and retaliate?”
James let out a full-belly laugh for a few long moments. “Aw, you’re worried about me?” James flashed a grin to Aiden, who only rolled his eyes in amusement. “Don’t worry about me, baby, I'll be fine. I can handle whatever he throws at me, if anything at all. Though, I’m flattered you care enough to ask.”
Aiden paused for a moment, flustered. Aiden then let out a laugh and playfully shoved James. “Yeah, well, pardon me. I should’ve known you'd be your own knight in shining armor. You are so brave after all.” Aiden teased with a poke to James’ chest. “Oh, handsome too, all knights are handsome. You really are a self-flatterer, aren’t you?” Handsome? Did Aiden really think that of him? James felt his face heat up at the implication. He fell silent for a moment and simply stared at Aiden, at a loss of words and studying his face. Soft, fine-shaped, a good majority covered up by his long, split-dyed hair. He wondered how it would feel to put his hand on it. To run his hands through his hair…
He was snapped out of his trance by another laugh from Aiden. “Soldier boy, are you there? Don’t leave me now, come on.”
James not-so-subtly cleared his throat and sat upright. “Fear not, I wouldn’t leave you for a thing. I was simply thinking about how many ugly knights there were in history to contradict your statement that all are blessed with looks as good as mine. I just so happen to have many examples of ugly ones. That wasn’t very inclusive of you.”
Aiden let out a snort of amusement. “Enlighten me, then.”
“Nope, it's all subjective. You’ll just have to take my word for it. Or crack open a history book and see for yourself.”
“Psh. I didn’t take you to be the history dork type.”
“You’d be surprised.”
James and Aiden laughed along with each other briefly. Aiden let out a relaxed sigh and stood back up, giving an earnest smile to him again. “Well, I better head inside… Today has been too eventful for my liking. You wanna join me?”
“Like, to bed? Isn’t- isn’t that- like-well- uh-” James spluttered. It was either Aiden was flirting or he was just a lovestruck fool looking too deep into things. Aiden let out a giggle. “Do you want to come in the cabin with me? I think that’s some better phrasing.”
James looked away, embarrassed. “Oh. Right. I knew that… haha. Well, I won’t be doing anything productive out here so… Yeah.”
Aiden gave a thumbs up and walked up the very few steps there were swiftly. James stood up and turned towards the door. Aiden was waiting there, ready to open the door for him. James gulped. He shouldn’t feel this nervous about following a boy inside. Maybe it was the polite gesture that Aiden was showing. It wasn’t that he was getting flustered over such a small gesture…
Okay. It was. He wasn’t used to Aiden being friendly towards him again. Not that he was wrong to be hostile before, but… He missed it. He wouldn’t do something like that again. Not betray his trust. He couldn’t stand the thought of Aiden not wanting to see him again. How could he have gone so long without it? Apparently, long enough that he’s getting so worked up over such a modest motion.
“You coming?” Aiden called out.
“Yeah, sorry.” James hurried to his side. Aiden gave him another smile. James’ stomach was doing all sorts of tricks. He was so cute. He loved his smile.
He loved him.