Sorry, you don't have permission to access the page you were trying to reach. Please log in.

 

Actions

Work Header

Social Media Insomnia = Epic Fails (Not Clickbait!)

Chapter 3: Highlight Reel #3

Summary:

These boys sure love their surprises.

Notes:

Beware!: This chapter contains A LOT of innuendos. And I mean a lot. And a lot of swearing. Please keep this in mind as you continue.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Currently Watching: So I’m A King Now
[SETTING: Danny sits in the forefront, adjusting the camera angle. Light hits his face at strange angles, and there is an odd green glow to his surroundings. A black crown rests on his head, glinting when he twists his head in a certain direction. It is clear that he is sitting on a large, majestic throne, one so large that you cannot make out where it ends. Despite the crown, he’s dressed in casual street clothing.

Danny: Let me just… [static] Ah, there we go! Welcome back everyone to another livestream! I know I’ve been doing a lot of these recently, but I haven’t really had the time to sit down and record any episodes lately, so I guess we’re just working on the go. Which is… pretty standard for me now that I think about it.

[A pause. Danny has a pensive expression on his face.]

Danny: Anyways. So I told you all in my last upload that I was going to be busy for the next week, and I can finally tell you why. I got crowned, bitches!

[He points to the crown on his head, laughing as it floats up and does a little twirl.]

Danny: I have done so much paperwork in the past three days that my hands are cramping. Haha… That’s a laugh of misery by the way, don’t mistake it. None of this is actually for work, it’s just so that the U.N. recognizes the monarchy, as if the position as Monarch of the Infinite Realms doesn’t like… predate the Neanderthals. It’s ridiculous! But it makes people feel better, so I had to. Who knew being responsible required so much paperwork, honestly…

Danny: How did I become King? Okay, so I don’t know how familiar you are with my adventures as a hero back in Amity Park, but at one point, the city was transported to another realm, the Infinite Realms to be exact, and we were stuck there for… about three days? If I remember correctly? But we were stuck there because the King at the time, Pariah Dark, wanted to take over the mortal realm, yada yada yada. And I had to fight him and lock him away again. He’d been in something called the ‘Sarcophagus of Forever Sleep’ before some dumbass- cough, Plasmius, cough- released him.

Danny: But the thing is… I didn’t really… knock him out when I stuck him back into the Sarcophagus. So more recently he actually got out again, because he’d been gathering his energy while lucid dreaming or something- I’ll have to read the report again just to make sure that’s correct, so don’t quote me on that. So we fought again, and this time I actually took him down permanently. I hope you know what I mean by that, I just can’t say it straight because I don’t know what the Youtube policy for that kind of language is.

Danny: That means I was up for Kingship… Whooo… I tried getting out of it, but I don’t actually have the power to step down. It’s won by right of conquest, but I haven’t met anyone that I don’t trust to not fuck it up, so I guess I’m stick with it for now.

Danny: ‘Did you already have the coronation?’ Yes, I did! I had the entire thing recorded, because Superman thought it’d be a good idea, and I’ll upload it here eventually, I just need to review it and edit out all the stuff that might pose a security risk. Batman and Fright Knight will look it over for me and give me the thumbs up.

Danny: ‘Were the Justice League there?’ Not all of them, but I tried to invite the people I knew! I was allowed to invite who I wanted, so that was fun. I know the U.N. wanted to send some people, but they weren’t even willing to acknowledge the crown until I filled out all this paperwork, so I was petty and didn’t invite any of them. I may be a hero, but that doesn’t make me any less of a bastard, alright? Besides, it was just easier that way. No member of the U.N. felt excluded, because they were all excluded! Equality!

Danny: ‘Did any of your family come?’ I did try talking to my parents about it, but they hung up the phone. But I did get my aunt to come, so my sister wasn’t alone at least. Ancients, I feel like I’m talking about a wedding. Next question!

Danny: ‘Was Tim there?’ He was there, when I upload the coronation vlog you’ll see him. He actually helped me pick my suit for the ceremony. You should have heard him talking with Dora about all the ‘textiles’ and ‘textures’. If it weren’t for the fact that he’s a CEO and- well, not dead- I would have totally made him King instead.

Danny: ‘Isn’t that nepotism?’ I got crowned by kicking a man’s ass. No other qualifications were necessary. It might technically be nepotism, but the system itself is already shit, so I don’t know what to tell you.

Danny: ‘Are you really going to work with NASA?’ I still intend to. I will have to see how being King will affect my workload, but there are a lot of technological advancements in the Infinite Realms that I am hoping to bring over to the mortal realm. Mainly with medicine.

Danny: ‘Why don’t you work for Wayne Enterprises?’ I know that they have an aerospace division, but so does LexCorp, so I don’t know what you’re trying to say with that. Oh, you mean with Tim? I mean, yeah, that’s cool? But I accepted NASA because it was my childhood dream, and since it’s a government agency I can’t really be accused of backing only one conglomerate or company. I’m trying not to piss anyone off unintentionally. Intentionally is totally fair game though.

Danny: ‘What’s your next stunt video?’ Ooh, okay, so there’s this place in the Infinite Realms called ‘Carnivorous Canyon’ and I thought I’d try to see if it would actually eat me now that I’m King.

READ MORE]

 


 

mahoganywood
Am I the only one that thinks it’s super weird that people keep trying to ship Phantom and Tim Drake together? Danny is literally around Tim’s brother’s age, and they all look almost exactly alike? I’m pretty sure if Danny weren’t already set in life, Bruce Wayne wouldn’t adopted the fuck out that guy.

Tags: #tim drake #phantom #danny fenton #don’t ship real people #cringe

AllMightLong
FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT Like what are they trying to make happen? They’re practically brothers? So disgusting

papyruspapers
…But they don’t? I mean, I don’t personally ship them or anything, but they don’t look that alike? Yes, they both have black hair and blue eyes but BITCH @AllMightLong you ship Superman and Wonder Woman. THEY BOTH HAVE BLACK HAIR AND BLUE EYES YOUR ARGUMENT IS BASELESS Are you stupid or are you just selectively blind?

refugericky419214
Check their profile @papyruspapers they’re homophobic

papyruspapers
@refugericky419214 OH that makes more sense. BLOCKED

timmyturnertimer
I still don’t understand the reasoning around how Danny is around Jason Todd’s age to be such a weird thing? He’s two years younger than Jason and one year older than Tim. That’s like saying if you dated someone your own age it’d be self-cest, that’s not how it works?? Also, we need to put ‘cringe’ back on the shelf. They can start using it again when they learn its definition.

mamanmiaherewegoagain
Wait, so you don’t think it’s cringe to ship real life people @timmyturnertimer? Genuine question, btw

timmyturnertimer
@mamanmiaherewegoagain I think it’s CREEPY, not cringe. Cringe is essentially second hand embarrassment. In this case, creepy is ‘I think you need to touch some grass’.

 


Timmine

Me

So I was thinking

Timmine

OOH

Tell me more

Me

Would you like

Want to go out sometime?

Timmine

What, like out for coffee?

I can check my calendar

But aren’t we going to see each other on Thursday for the League meeting?

Me

NO

I MEANT

As a… date

Timmine

Oh

OOOHHH

Me

Is that a no?

You’re taking your time

Timmine

Hush I’m trying to compose myself you little shit

Me

We’re off to a great start

And excuse YOU

Who’s the smaller one between us?

Timmine

You’re just freakishly tall!

Me

SAYS THE ONE THAT CAN WEAR MY HOODIES AS A DRESS BIATCH

Also give me my hoodie back

Timmine

Hmm… No

Me

That’s my favorite hoodie!

Timmine

I’ll buy you a new one

Me

NO YOU CAN BUY YOURSELF A NEW ONE

Timmine

Bippity Boppity, your clothes are now my property

Ujrhjwsnjjwnh

Did you just

DID YOU JUST RANSACK MY HOUSE?!

Me

No of course not

Ransack means that I stole something from you

I did not take anything that was not mine

Timmine

Asshole

You’re so lucky I wasn’t wearing it

Me

I would have just taken it off of you

Timmine

You would have stripped me??

Me

It’s not like you don’t wear anything underneath it

Timmine

Me

NO FUCKING WAY

Timmine

It’s warm enough okay??

Me

OOh~ Mister CEO is getting a little frisky out here

Would the Mister perhaps enjoy a little company tonight?

Timmine

I swear you spend more time at my place than at yours

Is that a yes or a no?

Timmine

Would it count as a date?

Me

It can be anything you like baby ;3

Timmine

You’re such a teasing little shit

You can come over

Don’t expect to be keeping any of these clothes either btw

Me

Gjswehnjaeqjw3haq3


 

7 Unread Messages
Newest -> Oldest

Dick - 7 new messages
OMG CLOSE YOUR CURTAINS CHILD

 


 

Protect Timmy Bird Group Chat - 10 members
BigBat: Get the ectoplasmic weapons ready, we’re going hunting
KateSpade: ??? Bruce?
KateSpade: Have you been Gassed or something recently?
Brickney: Tim got frisky last night 🤭
TheOtherHarper: NO WAY
TheOtherHarper: Who found out?!?!
RainbowChild: Dick is permanently blind
Skunkhair: BAHAHAHAHAHAA
Skunkhair: This is all the context I need
Skunkhair: THIS SHIT IS HILARIOUS
TheChild: I don’t know how to feel about this
TheChild: On one hand, I must protect Drake’s honor
TheChild: On the other hand, Drake has copulated with my beloved
Brickney: ‘MY BELOVED’ LMAO
Brickney: Sure kid, whatever yorjhyr4whmnw
RainbowChild: Uh oh, I think Damian got Steph
Zitka: DON’T LAUGH HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK TIM IN THE EYE NOW??
BigBat: The same way I look you in the eye every day after I caught you canoodling with Wally on the Batmobile
TheOtherHarper: OOH He’s got you good!
Zitka: It was only the one time!
BigBat: Was it only that one time with Barbara too?
Skunkhair: Dick, you kinky motherfucker
TheChild: I choose to ignore all that
Brickney: Oh THAT you ignore
BigBat: Are we hunting Phantom or not?
KateSpade: Only if we tell him ahead of time why we’re doing it
KateSpade: The last thing he needs is to think we’re ACTUALLY trying to kill him
BigBat: Fine
Skunkhair: Wow, he’s serious about this
RainbowChild: I’m out on this one. I’m immortal, man. I don’t want the next thousand years I’m stuck with Danny to be awkward because I tried to protect my brother’s long gone innocence.
Brickney: HOHOHO I knew I liked you for a reason, Duke
BigBat: Hn…

 


CLASSIFIED INFORMATION

Batman: You fucked my son. Honor demands that we must duel.
Phantom: What the fuck Batman?

 


 

I <3 Justice - 99 members
Soupsman: Why is Batman running down the street chasing after Phantom?
Soupsman: And why is Phantom running and not flying away?
Wonder Wheeler: Phantom and Red Robin copulated
Soupsman: OOH
Soupsman: Good luck to him
NotSoStraightArrow: To who? Batman, Phantom, or Red Robin?
Soupsman: Yes

 


Danny <3

Danny <3

Your dad just tried to kill me

Me

Bruce?

UGH

I’ll talk to him


Dad

Dad

If I apologize to Danny, will you stop blasting “I’m a Barbie girl” on all my speakers?

Me

I’ll take it into consideration


 

Currently Watching: Favorite Parts of the “Ghost King Me” Video
[TRANSCRIPT:
Danny lifts a finger to his lips, winking at the camera before he sneaks up to Tim, who has his back turned to Danny. The person controlling the camera zooms in on Danny blowing a raspberry into Tim’s exposed neck, making him squeal and twist out of the way. Tim then proceeds to whack Danny repeatedly, Danny laughing all the while.

-SCENE CHANGE-

Danny throws himself on top of the large throne, wiggling around on it like a cat and rubbing his face into the fluffy throw blankets. The camera gets close enough that you can hear him purr.

-SCENE CHANGE-

The camera roams the gigantic crowd assembled and bustling with noise, waiting for the proceedings to begin. A number of Justice League members are present. The camera zooms in on Plastic Man, who is trying to beat Amorpho in a shape shifting fight. It’s unclear who is winning.

-SCENE CHANGE-

Close up of Fright Knight discussing the importance of the coronation ceremony, but the camera is focused on Danny, Tucker, and Sam in the background, trying to play jump rope with a thick, golden cord that had just been referred to as ‘ceremonial’ and ‘a Kingly artifact’.

-SCENE CHANGE-

A short video feed of Danny curled up on the throne again, crown on his head, snoozing peacefully. A hand reaches out, petting Danny’s head gently. Danny purrs. The camera blurs as it turns around to Tim, who has a hand over his mouth to stifle his giggles.

READ MORE]

 


 

Saga of Tim Drake and Phantom’s Love Story

WE CEO Tim Drake-Wayne Spotted Sharing a Milkshake with Heartthrob Hero Phantom

Dating Rumors True All Along?: Tim Drake-Wayne and Danny Phantom Seen Sharing Intimate Meal

 


 

This is what we call a @progamermove
‘Intimate meal’ my ass. It was a milkshake for Pete’s sake! Just say it like it is

He’s a Phantom @TheBetterWeston replied to This is what we call a @progamermove
Someone’s jealous~!!

This is what we call a @progamermove replied to He’s a Phantom @TheBetterWeston
I’m not jealous, I’m just tired of people bullshitting the details. They can have a milkshake together and still be dating!

EDM to My DMs @PharoahTuck replied to This is what we call a @progamermove
Don’t get so worked up about it, man. It’s just clickbait.

This is what we call a @progamermove replied to EDM to My DMs @PharoahTuck
It’s false advertising is what it is

 


 

1 - 20 of 1,029 Works in Danny Fenton | Phantom/Tim Drake

War of Realms
Rated M
Tags: Violence, Blood and Injury, Rated Mature for Graphic Violence, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, I guess? Does reality count as canon?, Hero Tim Drake, Ghost King Danny Fenton, Secret Identity, Identity Porn, Political Intrigue, Angst, There is now smut, Okay there is now a lot of smut, I kill so many people in this fic ngl, Stop bagging on Tim’s hero name, Mirror is a perfectly acceptable name!, It’s better than Drake, It’s a secret identity for a reason PEOPLE, Infinite Realms Mythology, You have no idea how much research I had to do for this, I had to sell my soul for this info, you better praise me for it

When the world begins to fall apart, Tim takes it upon himself to do something about it. He doesn’t expect his boyfriend, Danny, to be so against it.

Word Count: 151,997 Chapters: 15/? Collections: 31 Comments: 2,378 Kudos: 10,081 Hits: 237,114


 

Panini ✔️
@PhantomPantomime

Following: 20 | Followers: 5.8 million | Tweets | Tweets & Likes

 

Pinned Comment: Hey, everyone. I’m going to be taking a short hiatus, both here and on my Youtube channel. I hope to be back before the end of the month, but if you don’t hear from me then, don’t worry about it. :)

 


COMM EXCHANGE FROM [REDACTED] MISSION

THIS INFORMATION IS CONFIDENTIAL AND LIMITED ONLY TO SELECT PERSONNEL

ANY DISTRIBUTION OF THIS REPORT WILL RESULT IN CRIMINAL CHARGES

INCLUDING A PRISON SENTENCE UP TO 100 YEARS

YOU. HAVE. BEEN. WARNED.


 

[Green Lantern Kyle Rayner: WE’RE BEING PINNED-

Superman: BRING AROUND THE CAVALRY-

Batman: DO NOT [STATIC]

Powergirl: THE PORTALS ARE OPENED! I REPEAT THE PORTALS ARE [STATIC]

Green Lantern John Stewart: WHAT’S PHANTOM DOING- PHANTOM, I REPEAT- STAND. DOWN.

Starfire: PHANTOM, DON’T-

HIGH-PITCHED WHINE. STATIC.

END OF TRANSMISSION]

 


 

Wolf1061c @ParStar
Okay, don’t call me crazy… But you know how I keep track of the star maps? The ones that the Justice League keep up to date?

TOI700e @MagicMamba replied to Wolf1061c @ParStar
Yeah?

Wolf1061c @ParStar replied to TOI700e @MagicMamba
The planet Apokolips is gone.

TOI700e @MagicMamba replied to Wolf1061c @ParStar
…I’m sorry, say that again?

 


 

Panini ✔️
@PhantomPantomime

Following: 20 | Followers: 6.1 million | Tweets | Tweets & Likes

 

Panini @PhantomPantomime
I’m back, BITCHES

 


 

HauntedStorageCloset
@hauntedstoragecloset 3.8 million subscribers 77 videos
This is Phantom, your resident half-dead, half-alive hero. Wanna do some crazy, reckless stuff but are too afraid to die? Well, live vicariously through me as I test how dead I truly am. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. >

 

Home | Video | Shorts | Live | Playlists | Community | Channels | About >

 

Livestream: So I Killed Darkseid

 


 

Currently Watching: So I Killed Darkseid
[LIVE SUBTITLES
SETTING: Danny is lying back on a regular king-sized bed, leg propped up on a pillow and wrapped in a cast.
Danny: You ever think about how the Earth is one of the only planets in the entire universe that has so many different ruling governments, languages, ethnicities, and yet we’re all human? You ever think about how humans are one of the only species that has something like the metagene?

Danny stares up at his ceiling, eyes glazed over.

Danny: Ancients, I’m so high on painkillers right now. Jazz, you’re gonna have to read the questions to me.

Jazz, offscreen: You big, lovable oaf. Here’s one for you. WestWesWesleyWeston says: ‘You broke your leg fighting Darkseid? Weak.’

Danny sits up, gasping in offense.

Danny: Bitch, you broke your leg trying to do the splits when you couldn’t even touch your toes without bending your knees. ‘Weak’ my ass… Are we still on for family dinner on Sunday, I’m moving my injured ass to make you that garlic bread.

Jazz: He says yes.

Danny: Good.

Jazz giggles, appearing on screen to walk over to Danny and hand him a phone. He squints at it for a while before looking sharply back at the camera.

Danny: YOU GUYS THOUGHT I DOXXED A STRANGER?

 


 

Damian Wayne

Phantom, I have made the executive decision to trust you to care for Drake.

 

Danny Fenton

A difficult decision, I’m sure.

 

Damian Wayne

Usually, this would be the time where I threaten to remove your kneecaps if anything terrible happened to him while under your care.

However, I still have fondness for you, and for that, I am willing to relent this time.

But do not forget to heed my warning.

 

Danny Fenton

I’ll… keep it in mind.

 

Damian Wayne

Good.

If I had been older, do you think we could have had something?

 

Danny Fenton

Maybe in another world.

You’re a great kid, Damian. I might not be the one for you, but I’m sure there’s someone out there that is.

Someone… probably far better than me.

But don’t forget there are people that love you now.

 

Damian Wayne

Do not take me for a fool, Phantom.

Of course, I won’t forget that.

 


 

Dead

Why did Damian just scream into a pillow?

And why is he blushing?

 

Deader

I may have miscalculated.

 


Timmine

Timmine

Hey…

Want to come over to my place?

 


 

Tim peeked up from his phone when he heard the slide of his bedroom window. Danny floated in, full King regalia, and settled down onto the mattress right next to him. Tim closed his eyes before the bright flash of Danny’s transformation could blind him, fluttering them open to see the same Danny he knew, just in different clothing. A hand propped up Danny’s head so that he could see Tim better, while the other snuck around Tim’s waist.

Danny pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Love you.”

Tim hummed. “Love you too.”

 


Fin.


 

Danny Drake @PhantomPantomime ✔️
Guess who got engaged!!

Tim Fenton @TimDrake_Wayne ✔️
It turns out you’re STILL bi even if he’s dead.

Notes:

I hope the HTML is good this chapter, or else I have learned nothing from my coding classes. But anyways, I hope you enjoyed this fic! Somehow, I managed to slip plot into this, but I hope the jokes made you smile, and the banter made you giggle. This was a little experiment of my own, but I do hope you liked the fruits of my labor. In between updates, this fic reached 1000 kudos! ♪(^∇^*) Thank you for the support. Have a wonderful day and, as always, thank you for reading. This is halfagone, signing off.

Series this work belongs to: