Chapter Text
Surprisingly enough, it was only the next day that the two managed to pull Klaus out of his flat. Though, perhaps it wasn’t as surprising when he considered the fact that he hadn’t been out since running into Scott. Part of him was scared that he would run into the man again, but even just the thought of going out into a crowd filled him with such a sense of dread that he had barely been able to drag himself out of his bed.
But now, dressed in freshly cleaned clothes and being tugged along by John’s arm around his, he found himself smiling. He could ignore the people passing by on the street when Simon was on his other side, leaving him safely boxed in between the two men.
They were headed towards a bookstore that Simon apparently knew about in the area. Klaus hadn’t explored the area very much even with the couple of years that he had been spending his leaves here – he stuck with his usual cycle of home, gym, bakery and back with little venturing into the shops on the side. Usually he didn’t have anybody close enough to pull him out and explore more than he had to.
“Ye should’ve seen it, Klaus- I thought that Gaz was going tae explode,” John laughed, recounting some pranks that he had pulled on his teammates before König had joined the taskforce. “He was just- standing there, soaking wet, nearly vibrating, and then Price walks in-”
“I was surprised that he didn’t have your head for that,” Simon cut in with a quiet chuckle. “Especially since Gaz was carrying some new cigars for him when you soaked him.”
John whipped his head over to the man with wide eyes. “He was what?”
“Oh, did he never mention that?”
“No! Are you-” John shifted to glaring at the man in question. “Si, tell me that you’re fucking with me.”
Simon just stared back at him, dark eyes giving nothing away. “Why would I lie?”
“Because you’re a backwards bastard that loves putting people off,” John answered suspiciously.
“Touche.”
Klaus just chuckled and listened to the two of them bicker and tease each other. It was peaceful, to listen to the back and forth. He shifted his arm in John’s, to instead tangle his fingers with the other man’s – allowing the shorter to add his limb to his outraged gesturing as he continued ranting.
They got to the bookstore, and the immediate hush was a wave of unexpected relief had Klaus drawing in a deep breath. Even with John and Simon with him, he'd gotten a little too used to the isolation of his flat. The moderate crowds outside grated at his nerves, but he was okay.
This was the perfect place to come after an episode like he'd been having. Small, quiet, peaceful. The scent of ink and old books and the passing hint of coffee.
Klaus let himself wander, picking through the fantasy section and reading the synopses of books at random, Simon a few steps away doing much the same. John, on the other hand, bee-lined for the photography section – he might say that it was because he didn't like reading, but Klaus had learned that the man had an interest in geography that wasn't indulged quite enough.
He listened as Simon explained the loose plot of some books he had been following, the low timbre of his voice soothing in the quiet. They shared interesting-sounding titles, and when John returned Klaus happily let the man tuck himself under his arm.
"If we ever get sent on a long leave, I'll lend you the Stormlight Archive. They're pretty thick, you might enjoy them. Lotta world building," Simon explained on the way back out of the door, a new book held in hand.
Klaus hummed, curious. "What is it about?"
"It follows the story of quite a few people, but the main characters are a soldier turned slave, a noble woman, and the brother of the late king and their parts in a war that's been going on for years. It's all fantasy of course so it's not that simple, but I think you'd like it."
"Maybe I can find it later," he said with a smile, as if he'd ever turn down a true recommendation from Simon.
"Just don't read it too fast," Simon warned, his voice dry. "It takes about three years for each book to come out, if we're lucky."
"Three?" Klaus blinked in surprise, curious. "That doesn't seem too bad."
John laughed, swaying closer to bump hips with him. "Si is just upset because the author promised to have a book out every two years, and he hasn't stuck with that."
"It's like waiting for the-"
"Oh, hey! Alex, wait-"
Fuck.
It felt like the other day all over again – dragging Klaus down until he slammed into hard earth once more, his mood with it.
His eyes met those blue-green-grey eyes and he felt his stomach wrap itself up into sick knots.
"I thought… you had to leave?" Scott glanced between him and both John and Simon who immediately seemed to be sizing up a threat. Not that Scott was much of one – not against even one of them, much less all three. Still, Klaus was content to hide behind the two, squeezing John's hand as his shoulders hunched down.
John seemed to catch onto what he was saying and squeezed his hand in return as he responded. "Aye, we were supposed to. Leave got extended a while longer, is all."
“Oh, that’s good!” Scott gave a wide smile. “Why don’t you introduce us? I’d love to meet your friends if you’ll be around a while longer.”
Klaus paused for just a moment before shyly releasing John’s hand. He didn’t really want to try to explain their relationship right now, and definitely not to Scott of all people. “Ah- this is Sergeant MacTavish, and Lieutenant Riley… or Soap and Ghost,” he started, wary of Simon’s reluctance of people knowing his name. “And this is… Scott Dunnich.”
“Soap? Funny sorta name you got there,” Scott pointed out with an easy grin, charismatic as ever as he offered out a hand for John to shake.
The sergeant took it, though Klaus could tell that he was tense about something. “You an old friend, then?”
“Of Alexandra’s? Oh, yeah. Haven’t seen her in ages.”
The words didn’t hit quite as hard, now. Not today, not after the support that he’d had over the last couple of days. But Klaus could still feel the confusion, the wrongness, the disconnect. Having to take half a second to recognize that Scott was talking about him. Alexandra was Klaus, at least to the man in front of them, an identity that he would likely never be able to completely run from.
“I don’t think that he’s mentioned you before,” John answered, emphasising the pronoun just enough that it should make it obvious.
“Oh really? That’s a shame, I didn’t think that we ended off on that bad of a foot,” Scott just laughed, hands tucking themselves into his pockets. “Right, Alex? I know that we stopped talking with all the distance and that, but…”
It was enough for him to feel physically sick. Scott knew how to put pressure on just the right point to make him squirm and want to give in. He couldn't confront the man about the trauma he put Klaus through here in the middle of the street, but the thought of agreeing with the man, as if he hadn't torn him apart…
He settled on a quiet nod, caving under the pressure. Technically, it hadn't been a bad ending to their relationship. To Scott, maybe things really hadn't seemed to be bad between them. It was just a quiet break, no confrontation, no angry words shared before Klaus simply stopped responding to the man's messages.
He knew that Simon was watching closely, he could feel the man's silent stare as he picked the situation apart. He just prayed that they could all just speed through this confrontation so he could get back home. All at once the perceived feeling of eyes on him made him want to crumple to the floor, too many people passing by making his skin crawl.
"Certainly seems like it's been a while since you've seen each other," John said with a stiff smile. He glanced at Klaus, like he was seeking permission, and- oh. Was he… was he asking to… reintroduce him?
It sent a little thrill through him, and he gave a little nod, hoping that he was right.
Unfortunately Scott didn't seem to note the exchange, or at least care for it, as he spoke up again. "But if you'll be in town for a while longer, maybe we could go to dinner-?"
"Bit rude to ask out a man in front of his boyfriends, innit?" Simon finally spoke up, his voice dropping into a growl. The words made Klaus blush, the unexpected claim that Simon, Ghost of all people was putting on him.
"Oh, possessive type, huh? I'm not pulling Alex away from you, you're both more than welcome to join us if you'd like. Alex and I can split the bill, even. Just like old times?" Scott gave a winning smile, and Klaus fought the nonsensical urge to break something. Just like old times would be him dishing out money that he didn't have for things he didn't even want.
He felt like he was being pulled in two. There was too much happening at once – in the conversation, in his head, too much activity around them. He couldn’t process everything that he was feeling and even try to speak up.
John cleared his throat, pulling the Norwegian's attention back to him. "Before that, ye should probably know that Klaus here has changed his name. He's a man, alright?"
There was a pause, and Klaus watched Scott carefully, with some sort of sick fascination. A person's first reaction usually told him all he needed to know about how they thought of him. So he watched as Scott's expression went from confusion, to realization, to something like disgust- and Klaus stopped watching, then.
"I think I would know if the girl I dated for two years was a guy," Scott said with a quiet laugh.
The tension around them went from taut to strained, quicker than Klaus could comprehend. He had the belated realization that he had never told either John or Ghost his ex's name when explaining his… issues.
"Well," John started slowly, his voice filled with false warmth. "Some things change, it’s not crazy for someone tae figure things out a bit later or earlier than others."
Scott gave a dismissive scoff, but Klaus was too busy studying his shoes and feeling his throat close up to immediately realize that he was being addressed. "The military fill your head with that shit? Come on, Alex- Alexandra, look at me, do you think you can't make it because you're a woman or something?"
Klaus, against his better judgement, looked up – Scott smiled, and then several things happened at once.
One, Scott raised his hand and stepped forward to touch him.
Two, John took Klaus’s hand in his own and pushed him backwards.
Three, Ghost stepped away from his side and a solid fist collided with the Norwegian's face.
Half a second, and then Scott hit the ground.
For a moment it seemed like the man could only gasp in surprise – Klaus knew from sparring with the man just how hard Simon could hit, even when pulling his punches. For someone inexperienced and untrained, it must feel like being hit by a train.
Then Scott groaned, and started to pick himself up off the floor. His mouth was gaping open in pain, dribbling spit and blood, hands shaking as Simon stood over him.
Klaus knew that there were people staring now, phones out and either taking pictures – videos – or calling the police, maybe.
"You try to touch him again and you'll lose your hand, mate," Simon said, flat and deadly serious. "Now we'll be on our way, and if I see you hanging around Klaus again…"
Scott stared up at the man towering over him and nodded dumbly, tears of pain gathering in his eyes.
Then Simon stepped away, and Klaus realized that he was being pulled with him.
He felt… numb, in a way. Everything was too much, and he knew that he was spiraling into a panic attack as they walked. He could feel the shaking in his hands, his breath picking up even as he tried to hold on until Simon led them into a quiet alley. Klaus ripped off his mask with a gasp as his legs buckled, and it felt like he was right back where he was barely two days ago. John caught him, steadying both of them against the wall.
"Sorry, love. Was that too much?" Simon stood close, hands offered up as if to catch him even if John already had a steady hold on him.
Klaus shook his head and pressed his face against John’s neck, his hands grasping at his solid form. Honestly, seeing Scott get punched down was like a dream come true – perhaps it didn't come with all the accusations sitting at the tip of his tongue, but it was something, at least. It was some kind of retaliation that he desperately needed.
It wasn’t worth the panic attack, though. Scott didn't deserve to be the one that pulled this reaction from him, and part of him was angry that it was happening anyway.
John just held him through the waves of shaking, taking purposefully deep breaths until Klaus could copy them. And even after calming down, he felt that perpetual sense of dread – they were blocks away from his flat. They weren’t in his quiet home, calming him down from where he had accidentally fallen into the sinkhole of trauma that Scott had carved out of him. He still had to brave the crowds and all the people that would undoubtedly stare at him, and-
“Hey- hey, focus on me, precious,” John murmured quietly, as his shaking began to worsen again. “What’s wrong?”
Klaus pressed his nose to the Scot’s collarbone, ignoring the way that his back bent uncomfortably with the angle. “W-we still have to- get back home.”
John gave a low hum of understanding, running his fingers through the taller’s hair, and it made Klaus feel pathetic. He was a soldier, a six-ten tank that was sent barrelling into dangerous situations head first, over and over again. And yet the thought of just stepping back into the street and having to take every step back was exhausting.
“We could call a taxi,” Simon suggested where he stood at the mouth of the alley, his broad back creating a physical barrier between them and the outside world as he faced them.
“It is only a couple of streets, though,” Klaus protested, though the quiet inside of a car did sound much preferable to the noise otherwise.
“Doesn’t matter, Klaus,” John pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “Whatever is more comfortable for ye.”
Slowly, he drew in a shuddering breath and straightened up. He didn’t want to walk all the way back to the flat, but the thought of having to be embarrassed about his emotional state in front of a specific person made him just as miserable.
“I- I can walk.”
“Ye don’t have to-”
“John… I am fine, it- I just need to get back home.” Klaus gave his best imitation of a smile, and the shorter man grimaced but nodded.
Simon stepped closer and offered the Austrian his hand, palm up and welcoming. Klaus took it and reveled in the feeling of it in his own hand. The man always seemed to be as sturdy as a brick wall in his full gear, but even out of it there was a… solidness to him. Perhaps Klaus could make him feel small with his height, but it would never take away the feeling of safety that came with Simon’s weight draped over him, or being held by him.
“Just tell us how to help,” the Brit said seriously.
Klaus nodded as he struggled to keep his panic down. He just had to last until they could get to his flat, and then he could sleep the entire encounter off. “I- what… you were doing earlier?”
“What were we doing earlier, sweetheart?” John appeared on his other side, and Klaus again nodded and looped an arm around the Scot’s shoulders.
“Flanking,” he mumbled into the man’s mohawk, happy to have them both close to him.
Simon hummed, as the shorter man chuckled. “Aye, we can do that, precious. Let’s get ye home, alright? Maybe we order some takeout tonight, hm?”
He simply nodded again, and let the two lead him back out onto the busy street. It wasn’t pleasant, the first step out of the alleyway sending him into a tailspin once again. There was so much noise around him, from the shuffling of feet to the ringing of shop doors opening, cars driving by with the overwhelming hum of too-loud bass. He could feel the odd half-sensation of his thighs and knees going almost numb even as he kept them working – all the way until his mind drifted away. Then he simply allowed the numbness to burrow its way into every pore of him, and floated in the feeling as they walked.
It turned his steps uncoordinated, his blinks slow and unfocused, but it was better than staying with the panic. And he had Simon’s hand in his, his other arm around John to support him. He was safe, he didn’t have to worry, Scott was never going to be able to touch him again.
When they got to his door, he attempted to pull away from John to get his keys out of his pocket, but the man was faster. He simply tugged Klaus’s arm back over his shoulders and used his free hand between them to dig the keys out of his pocket instead.
He blinked and Simon was pulling him inside, leading him to the couch to sit down, though he paused when Klaus pulled back on his hand.
Words were- hard, like this. Hard to formulate, and hard to push out of the block in his throat. Sometimes he wondered if he just didn’t want to talk, but for the moment he didn’t worry about it.
“Are ye alright, precious?” John appeared at his side, a hand resting on his back.
Klaus nodded wordlessly. He was safe here, he could relax, he could be taken care of. The feeling made his breath hitch for a moment, a blinding ray of emotion stabbing through the numbness that had settled over him. He simply leaned down and kissed John to alleviate the feeling, easing it until the sharp edges bled into a simple adoration.
With a soft chuckle, John held his face in his hands and returned the kisses that were given. “Sweet thing,” he said with such affection that Klaus had to hide his face.
The feeling was so much. Almost too much, the emotional roller coaster that was still dragging him along by his scruff.
He squeezed Simon’s hand and pulled both men into the bedroom with him. He needed more of that feeling of safety, wanted to chase it like the high of adrenaline. It certainly made his heart pound, when he saw the soft expression on the Brit’s face.
“You called me your boyfriend,” he whispered, shocked to hear his own voice, quiet as it was.
Simon squeezed his hand in return and nodded. “... you seemed uncomfortable, I just wanted him to back off. If it made you uncomfortable-”
Klaus shook his head immediately, stepping closer to kiss him as well. It drew a sharp breath from the blonde, surprised before he melted into the feeling.
“You want that?” Simon murmured, free hand brushing over the taller’s side.
“I…” Klaus shuffled onto the bed, John leaning down to help him with his shoes as Simon stood over them.
“You don’t have to decide anything, love. Not now, or ever if you don’t want.”
Tears pricked at his eyes, and Klaus could barely blink them back as his shoes were pulled off and John slotted himself in against his side. He pressed Simon’s hand to his cheek and gave a long, shuddering exhale.
He nodded, and felt the Brit’s hand flex in his.
“You’re sure?”
“I want to be yours. Both- both of yours.” His voice was painfully hoarse, tearing at his throat as the words came up. The tears that he was holding at bay started to overflow, but they weren’t unhappy. “Not yet- but I want it.”
“That’s alright, precious,” John murmured. “We can wait. However long ye need.”
It felt like release, a sob shaking through him as a coil of tension and fear finally unwound. It felt like fulfilled longing, as John leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to the nape of his neck. It felt like being loved, with simple adoration. It felt like being seen, his heart truly laid bare in all its ugly glory. Every bump and every scrape, every chip taken out of it. Perhaps they didn’t know every step of the journey, but they could see the damage, and the hardships that came with it.
It felt, perhaps, like a gentle touch of euphoria.