Chapter Text
“Don’t you have an office in your apartment? And a whole workshop somewhere on campus?” Chai asks as they begin the trek back up towards Sunny’s office.
“Well—yeah,” Sunny replies, “but it’s the principle of the thing, dude!”
“I’m sure it’s not even that bad. Besides, Allium will happily give you however much you need to fix it.”
“That’s not just up to them, man,” he reminds him.
“...I know. But I doubt Kale will mind.”
“You say that, but…”
When Chai looks over at him, one brow quirked up, Sunny suddenly looks…upset? Worried…? Sort of…pitying. In a way.
“...Nevermind. You’re right. Kale won’t mind,” he says after a moment.
Chai frowns, his brow furrowing.
The melancholy song playing isn’t helping. Honestly, it’s getting on his nerves a bit—mostly because he knows Sunny can hear it. The songs always sound different when they’re playing openly, rather than just for him. Like using a speaker versus headphones. So, knowing that he can hear the music, paired with that weird face he just made…
There’s a gross feeling squirming inside of Chai. Actually, it’s been there since sometime during his fight with Macaron. He hopes it isn’t showing on his face. He’s been doing his best to keep it relatively neutral-looking this whole time.
Thinking about that reminds him of the robot that was with Macaron—CNMN. Being able to pick and choose what emotions you share with your face, instead of having to worry about doing it unconsciously…Chai wishes he could do that. But, of course, things can’t ever be easy or simple for him. He holds back a sigh. Just my luck.
The song ends. Chai’s thankful for the constant thumping of the beat, preventing it from becoming completely silent. It’s joined by the clanking of the PACK-13 walking behind them.
It only takes about ten beats for the next song to start. It opens with a very aggressive guitar riff. At least it’s not somber like the last one. It does annoy him a little how it’s also playing openly, though. And something about it sounds…vaguely familiar…but he’s not sure from where. He doesn’t remember ever listening to this before.
Walking on the line
Directions leads you to who knows where
Say you’re doing fine
But no one asked and nobody cares
“Hey, uh…are you… really sure you’re okay?” Sunny asks.
Chai sighs. “If you’re asking that because of the music—”
“I’m not. I just—I’m worried about you, man.”
“Don’t be. I’m fine. Just tired is all.”
Now I’m watching from the outside
Hear all the outcries
But no one will lend a hand
“I can’t just… not worry. Especially after—” He cuts himself off with a sigh. He clenches his hands.
“After what? The fight? ” Chai huffs. “I can take care of myself, Sunny. You of all people should know that.”
His head whirls in Chai’s direction, eyes wide. “No! That’s not—”
They’re setting up and you’re the punchline
You learned you’re never in demand
“Then what the hell are you talking about?!”
He looks away. “I—I don’t know if—”
You’re on your own
“Just tell me! ” Chai snaps.
Such a damn shame
“ I can’t! ”
I’d have to break it to you
“What do you mean you can’t?! ”
“I just—I can’t, Chai. I wish I could, but—”
“But what?! ” he shouts.
You’re all alone
“I’d explain if you didn’t keep interrupting!”
You oughta just stay quiet
You can’t do that, can you?
“You sure about that? ‘Cause you seem like you can’t fucking decide!”
Parading like you own the place
“Because I don’t know what to do here! I don’t know what I’m allowed to say!”
But give it time; we’ll all forget your face
“ Allowed to say? What—do you think I’m gonna snitch or something?”
You’re on your own
“No! Of course not! I just…I don’t want…”
Such a damn shame
Chai makes a frustrated noise when he doesn’t continue.
“ What?! Is it—do—I— you —!”
No one’s ever coming for you
He groans as he squeezes his eyes shut. Quickening his pace, his hand clench into fists as he hurries up the steps. Every footfall is perfectly in-time with the music. They add an interesting layer to the percussion. Same with the clunking of the PACK-13, now that he’s thinking about it.
“Chai! Wait!” Sunny calls after him.
Taking even breaths, he keeps going. The music gets louder as his player turns up its volume. The song echoes through the stairwell.
Staring at the sky
You dream to one day become that star
Sunny shouts over the music, “Just hold on, man! Please! ”
The journey’s do or die
But you’re not willing to go that far
Chai grits his teeth. His hands unclench, then clench again repeatedly. The volume goes up more. He can barely hear any of their footsteps anymore.
Now I’m watching from the upside
You’re on the decline
Now you’re falling way too fast
“C’mon, don’t be that way!” Sunny has to scream now. “I wanna tell you, I really do! But…I can’t! It’s for your own good!”
They’re setting up, but you’re not in sight
Because you know that you can’t last
“ Shut up! ” Chai roars, whirling to face him. “Just shut the fuck up and leave me alone! ”
His eyes go wide, mouth falling open. He shies away a bit, even though they’re a decent ways away from one another.
You’re on your own
Swallowing the lump forming in his throat, Chai turns away and keeps going up the steps.
Such a damn shame I’d have to break it to you
He focuses on the music. The way it reverberates through the stairwell. The vague familiarity of the melody. The way each hit of the drums rattles his bones. How the guitar has a rough, aggressive edge to its playing.
You’re all alone
During the verses, it’s quieter. Not soft, but not as loud and brash as the choruses. Some of the lyrics are sung with an edge to them, just the right amount of—of— something to make them sound angry. He can’t think of the word he wants to use for the life of him. But, anyways—overall, they’re sung a little too crisply, though. He wishes the vocalist had been more aggressive, more raw with it. Especially during the chorus.
You oughta just stay quiet
You can’t do that, can you?
Like how my voice sounded when I yelled at Sunny.
Chai scowls. He quickens his pace.
Parading like you own the place
But give it time; we’ll all forget your face
Finally reaching the top of the stairs, he storms into Sunny’s office.
You’re on your own
Spice stares at him as he enters the room. He doesn’t even spare her a glance as he stomps past, making his way towards the ramps that lead to the upper area.
Such a damn shame no one’s ever coming for you
And then, he trips.
He hits the floor with a thud, his prosthetic arm clanking loudly. Pain ricochets through him. Chai groans.
The music diminuendos. His player lowers its volume at the same time, making it sound even quieter.
After two beats, he pushes himself up. He looks back to see what he tripped over.
Such a damn shame no one’s ever coming for you
It’s a…robotic arm. A pretty banged up one, at that. The metal that cased it is torn, alongside being covered in bite and claw marks. The wires inside are exposed. There’s only two of them; they snake around the metal skeleton of the arm. The hand probaby has the worst of it, though. It’s barely even attached to the arm, hanging on by those two wires. Some of its fingers are missing.
As Chai stands up, he looks around for the robot he knows it belongs to. It only takes about a beat to spot them.
CNMN is still up against the wall. Right where Chai left him. Except he isn’t pinned by the scrap guitar anymore. It’s lying on the ground a little ways away, the bits that make up the guitar shape lying loosely around the grabber.
The rest of his body is in a similar state to his arm. He’s missing one leg, and the other is partially dismantled. His remaining arm is also somewhat destroyed. It’s missing its hand, which must be somewhere amongst the parts that litter the floor. His torso is torn open, the metal skeleton, wires, and core inside exposed. Most of the wires are severed. The power core in the center of his chest is cracked.
Really, the only part of his body that looks about the same as it was when he first burst into the room with Macaron is his face. And even that is covered in scratches. Not to mention the marker smeared all over it. His eyes and mouth are dark, lifeless.
Chai stares down at CNMN, brow furrowed.
“They’ll be fine.”
He picks up the grabber. The pieces around it magnetize to it as soon as he touches it, forming that familiar guitar-like shape.
Lifting it up, he adjusts his stance. He pulls the guitar back, holding it like a batter about to swing for a home run.
Said I’m watching from the upside
Maybe he’ll regret this later.
You’re on the decline
Chai doesn’t dwell on it for long.
And now you’re falling way too fast
A loud bang and a clatter echoes through the room.
CNMN’s head hits the ground with a clank. Bits of scrap fly through the air.
They’re setting up, but you’re not in sight
The arm still attached to their torso goes next.
You’re talking tongue tied
Then what remains of their leg.
‘Cause you know that you can’t last
The scrap guitar falls apart. The grabber slides back into Chai’s arm.
He doesn’t feel better. But he didn’t expect to. After all, that wasn’t the point.
Now I’m watching from the outside
Walking over to the couch and dropping down, he reaches under it. He grabs onto the strap of the duffel bag tucked away there. He pulls it out and unzips it.
Hear all the outcries
Standing up, he dumps its contents out. Bags of chips, snack cakes, water bottles, and other similar things land in a heap on the floor.
Amidst the sound of crinkling and crunching is footsteps coming closer.
But one will lend a hand
They stop. The last few things fall out of the bag.
“What are you doing?”
They’re setting up and you’re the punchline
Chai doesn’t respond to Sunny as he starts picking up CNMN’s parts, stuffing them into the bag.
You learned you’re never in demand
The song crescendos.
He glances at the torso. He picks up their head instead.
You’re on your own
All of the other limbs are placed around it.
Such a damn shame
The grabber pops back out with a flick and a click. He magnetizes the smaller pieces to it, holding it over the bag.
I’d have to break it to you
Once he figures he got most of them, he lets them all fall. The majority of them land in the bag, plinking against the parts and each other.
You’re all alone
As the grabber disappears back into his arm, he zips the bag up.
You oughta just stay quiet
Chai picks it up, putting the strap over his shoulder. It’s fairly heavy, but at least he can carry it.
You can’t do that, can you?
“What are you gonna do with them?” Sunny asks.
Parading like you own the place
But give it time; we’ll all forget your face
Turning to head up the ramp, he hikes the bag up his shoulder.
“ Going to the scrapyard.”
You’re on your own
Such a damn shame
No one’s ever coming for you
The sun is beginning to set. The campus is painted in sharp oranges and yellows. The shadows are growing longer and longer as the sun sinks lower, the sky growing darker. Streetlights begin to flicker on, helping to illuminate the busy streets. Chai passes beneath one right as it turns on.
He absentmindedly wonders why they even have them. The billboards and neon signs everywhere provide plenty of light.
Adjusting the strap of the bag a bit, he looks around. It’s as busy as it always is at this time here in the residential district. People are coming and going in waves. Most of them are on their way home. Others are going out for a night on the town.
Chai could use a drink or two right about now. Does he have anything left at his apartment…?
The sound of an acoustic guitar playing gently interrupts his thoughts. His player has been providing loud, fast music that ranged from black metal to hyperpop for…however long it’s been. (Which, after that first song, have all been playing internally, thankfully.) This more soft, calm song is an interesting change of tempo.
He hums along with the melody as he enters his building. All of the elevators are gone. He could take the stairs…but he’s exhausted. He’ll just have to wait. Hopefully, it won’t take too long…
Of course, none of them are headed down here. Chai sighs, then heads over to the doors of a random one and hits the button. He leans against the wall across from them. Crossing his arms, he taps his finger to the beat. He focuses on the music instead of the millions of thoughts racing through his mind.
Chai doesn’t recognize this song. But at this point, he’s pretty used to his player choosing music he’s never heard. It’s a good way to broaden his horizons, he supposes. Although, most of it is rock, so not by that much. As for this one—
The elevator dinging interrupts his musings. As soon as the doors open, he gets in. He taps the button for his floor. The doors shut and the elevator begins to ascend four beats after.
Putting one hand in his pocket and setting the other on top of the bag, he starts drumming his fingers in time.
The melody keeps changing. Like the guitarist can’t decide what they want to do. For the most part, it’s always calm, though. It ranges from simple to intricate. Slow, then a bit faster, then slow again. The tempo itself doesn’t change, however. No key changes, either…
He takes a deep breath. His whole body aches. The weight of the duffel bag isn’t helping, but he won’t have to carry it for much longer.
When the elevator doors open, Chai makes his way down the hall towards his apartment. He pulls his keys out of his pocket as he goes. He spins the keyring around on his finger. The jangling adds an interesting sound to the music. It doesn’t fit super well, though. He stops.
Opening the door, he steps inside and tosses his keys towards the coffee table. They hit the floor with a clank. He sighs.
He stares at them for a beat.
Chai walks past. Problem for future me.
As soon as he drops the bag off in his room, he takes his arm off. His sweat-stained clothes follow shortly after.
For all of a single beat, he considers just showering tomorrow morning, before he heads into the bathroom. Just a quick one.
The warm water helps to soothe the aching. The calm, but ever-changing melody makes the thoughts swirling in the background of his mind settle. Chai only lets himself bask in it for a little while, though.
Dried off—and with a fresh pair of boxers (alongside an old band t-shirt) on—he flops onto his bed. He sighs into the pillow. He lies there like that for a bit. Even though it makes his back hurt. When the pain starts to get annoying, he rolls onto his side.
The sun has set by now. Its radiant light has been replaced by the duller light of the moon. It creeps into Chai’s room through the blinds. The rays illuminate the edge of the bag. The zipper glints in the soft light. Taunting him.
With a sigh, he pushes himself up. He grabs the bag and drags it towards himself. Then, after a beat, he unzips it.
CNMN’s dark eyes stare up at him. The bolts that were part of his body gleam. The fingers on one of his hands are stuck in an upwards position, like he’s reaching for something.
Chai swallows the lump forming in his throat.
After two beats of hesitation, he gingerly picks up CNMN’s head. It’s a bit awkward with just one hand.
When he left R&D, he had fully intended on going to the scrapyard. He really had. But part of the way there, something…changed. He suddenly didn’t know what to do. Like his brain had short circuited. Chai decided to just…go home after that. His whole body’s been aching since the fight, not to mention how tired he is. Plus, it’s not like he had anything else scheduled today.
He’s still not sure what happened. He doesn’t even remember what he was thinking about at the time. His mind has been full of thoughts, all of them overlapping one another. Like a band that can’t seem to agree on what song to play. Just chaotic, discordant noise. Maybe that’s why his player’s been skipping so much today…
I should ask Sunny to take a look at it just in case. Make sure it’s not going haywire again.
Chai winces. He catches sight of his reflection in CNMN’s dull eyes and mouth. He sighs, shutting his eyes. His head falls forward, his forehead hitting CNMN’s.
It’s…it’s fine. He can just ask Kale. Honestly, he should’ve thought of him first. Though, he’s probably busy, especially with the convention coming up soon. It’s only a week away now. There’s still so much to do to get ready for it. Chai himself needs to figure out his outfit for his performance. Shit —that’s right, he’s supposed to meet up with Vesper at Charlie’s for that tomorrow. At least it’ll be a good distraction…
His thoughts are interrupted by a tap, tap, tap at his window. He jolts, dropping CNMN’s head. His own head whirls towards the sound, eyes wide.
Chai has no clue what he was expecting to see when he looked over. Whatever it was, it definitely wasn’t the cat him and Frappe saw last week.
Its glowing gold and blue eyes peer at him through the blinds. It meows at him.
After six beats, he scoots along the bed until he can reach the window. Pulling the blinds up, he stares at it. It tilts its head, then meows again, tapping on the window with its paw. Three beats pass. He opens the window.
The cat smiles, its eyes narrowing a bit as it leaps through, into his room. It lands on the pillow next to him. It peers down at the bag, which CNMN’s head landed back in. Its tail flicks. Then, it looks back at him.
They simply stare at one another in the quiet.
Chai doesn’t really know what to do. It’s not every night a cat randomly shows up at your window, tapping on the glass to be let in, after all. Especially a robot cat. Which…makes it weird that he’d sort of forgotten about it, now that he’s thinking about it. He figures a robot cat would stand out in his mind a bit more. But then again, he’s been pretty busy with other stuff.
It catches his attention by nudging his arm. Chai quirks a brow. It nudges him again, pawing at his hand as well this time. His eyes narrow. Then, they widen.
He pats it on the head, gently scritching behind one of its ears. It leans into his touch with a purr. He smiles as it climbs onto his lap, rubbing against his chest before it curls up.
The music finally decides on a consistent, simple melody as Chai pets the cat. A cool breeze drifts through the open window, tousling his damp hair a bit. It reminds him that he needs to shut that before he goes to sleep. Actually, since I’m already thinking about it, I might as well just do it now.
He stops petting the cat just long enough for him to shut the window. Then, he returns his attention to it.
It’s giving him a strange look. Chai isn’t knowledgable enough about cats to know what it means. Just in case, he doesn’t start petting it. It doesn’t seem agitated, but he doesn’t want to risk it. He’s already in pain, thanks.
I guess I have to face
He wasn’t expecting any vocals after this long. They startle him for a beat.
That in this awful place
They’re nice. Soothing, like the instrumental.
I shouldn’t show a trace of doubt
Chai yawns. The cat’s ears twitch.
But pulled against the grain
It hops off his lap, but stays on the bed. It gives him enough room to lie down. Which he does.
I feel a little pain
He pulls the covers up over himself, shutting his eyes. His exhausted body melts into the mattress.
That I would rather do without
The shifting of the bed and the faint jingling of metal tells him that the cat is coming closer.
I’d rather be
It lies down just in front of him.
Free
Its tail gently thumps against the bed with the steady beat purposefully.
Free
Huh…must be playing out loud again…doesn’t sound like it, though…
Free
…Eh. Doesn’t really matter…
I’d rather be
The world slowly fades away.
Free
All that’s left is the song and the cat, who is curled up close to him.
Free
Must’ve moved closer.
Free
I wonder…
Free
The sound of it purring with the melody as the last few lyrics are sung is the final thing he hears before sleep takes him.
Free, free, free
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