Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Felix stared at the black-haired, his own eyes shining with unshed tears when he took in the hurting words.

The only thought of Hyunjin never receiving any kind of love, not only from his partners but also from his parents and family was breaking his heart.

But at the same time, he was so glad to be the first person to tell him that he loved him, and it was so true.

“H-hyunjin.” Felix managed to let out, his voice cracking and feeling a tear instantly leaving his eyes to fall onto the elder’s cheek. “Y-you-” Another wave of tears hit him as he tried to still his breathing so he could talk properly. “ I love you. ” 

He leaned forward and crashed their lips once again, they tasted salty because of their shared tears, but none of them cared. They only sobbed and made sure to stay as stuck as possible.

Hyunjin tangled his fingers on Felix’s black hair, feeling the soft locks caressing his pads.

“I love you.” Felix repeated, separating as little time as possible from the plump lips just to go back to them, devouring the elder’s mouth like a starving man. But it wasn’t sexual, it wasn’t heated, it was just…as if they were thirsty , as if they craved each other, as if they could convey their feelings through their constant lapping and sucking. “ I love you, Hyunjin .”

They had to stop for a moment to catch their breaths, Felix leaning his forehead on Hyunjin’s as he closed his eyes, trying to get the ache on his chest to dissipate by gulping eagerly.

“But… w-why ?” Hyunjin’s voice was almost imperceptible, Felix had to decipher the little sounds, it wasn’t too difficult considering his whole attention was on the boy.

“What do you mean why, baby?” His heart split in two at the curious yet sad look on Hyunjin’s eyes. “You’re so lovable. You-” He stopped, bringing his hand to cup the elder’s soft cheek, caressing it so gently as he admired his features. “Hyunjin, you have no idea how special you are.”

Hyunjin could only look up at the younger, his eyes wide and teary as little sobs escaped his parted mouth.

“B-but I- I’ve been so bad to you, Felix. I’ve done and said terrible things that you didn’t deserve. H-how could you- H-how do you?” The trail of tears leaving his eyes only got heavier with the drag of a new drop, staining his perfect skin with white salt. “ You shouldn’t love me .”

Felix frowned and gripped his jaw tighter, making the boy gasp in pain. 

“You’re right.” He started, Hyunjin’s eyes lost and emaciated as a sad expression spread on his delicate face. “You said things, terrible things. And you also behaved like a jerk, more than once.” He moved to ground his knees on the mattress, getting Hyunjin to flinch when he was reminded of the cock still resting inside him, plugging the cum inside. “But that wasn’t you, Hyunjin.” Staring back at the younger, Hyunjin swallowed nervously. “I don’t know why, but somehow you chose to trust me. That day when your father threw you out, I could finally see you. I realized everything else was a facade. You’re not the dumb rude fuckboy everyone thinks you are, Hyunjin. You… you’re full of love . You’re the purest person I’ve ever met, and if it wasn’t because of your father, you would know that as well.” Felix pecked the elder’s cheek softly once, then twice, drawing a little pattern until he got to the corner of his mouth. “You’re beautiful.” He kissed his nose. “You’re caring.” He pecked the mole under his eye. “You’re smart.” Another peck on his forehead followed. “ You’re the person I love the most in this world .” He finished, looking directly into Hyunjin’s black eyes, confessing his feelings, the feelings he had bottled up for so long. “You-” His voice cracked as he started nibbling on his lips nervously, shoving a strand of Hyunjin’s black hair to the side. “ You’re my everything, Hyunjin .”

A loud broken sob excited Hyunjin’s mouth as he started fully crying again, but this time it wasn’t because he was sad, but because he was so happy.

“I-I am?” He whined, still needing some more confirmation from the younger. As if his sparkling eyes and soft touches weren’t enough.

“Yeah, love . You- you brought light into my life.” Felix sniffled, trying to keep his tears to himself and focusing on Hyunjin’s state instead. “You saved me.”

After a few seconds of staring at each other, Hyunjin shook his head and brought Felix closer by the nape.

“No.” He pecked his lips softly and caressed his hair. “You saved me, Felix.”

And it was true.

Hyunjin wouldn’t be there, he wouldn’t have escaped his father and started studying again if it wasn’t because of Felix.

“Maybe…” Felix started, biting his lip and smiling shyly. “ Maybe we saved each other. ”

Hyunjin smiled and pulled Felix in for a kiss, this time more heated but with the same amount of emotion on it.

They kissed for minutes, maybe half an hour or even more, and they didn’t want to stop but their eyes started to close on their own and Felix’s elbows got tired of holding his weight on top of Hyunjin.

“Baby.” Felix stopped the kiss, feeling one more peck on his lips before having Hyunjin’s whole attention. 

“Hm?” The elder smiled dreamily, high on love and the ecstasy of his orgasms.

“We should sleep, it’s late.” Caressing his black soft hair, Felix kissed Hyunjin’s temple at his sad frown. “C’mon, you have work tomorrow.”

Felix seemed to have knocked some common sense onto Hyunjin, who nodded and sighed right after.

“I- uh.” Hyunjin bit his lip, stopping the words to look down to their joined bodies shyly. “I’m-”

“What?” Felix leaned his head on his palm, observing the boy and leaving him as much time as he needed.

“ Sticky .” Hyunjin replied nervously, feeling Felix’s cum still moving inside him. It was all new for him, but he couldn’t say he didn’t like it.

“Ohh.” Felix smiled, drawing circles on Hyunjin’s hips. “Don’t worry, baby. I’ll help you.”

Holding his hips, Felix started pulling out slowly, a ragged moan coming out of Hyunjin’s mouth, quickly being dissimulated by a cough and the clearing of his throat.

Felix chuckled, getting up and getting some damp towels from the bathroom attached to the bedroom.

He quickly got between Hyunjin’s legs again, opening them from the knees even though the boy was putting up some resistance.

“Open your legs, love.” Hyunjin was about to protest, but his body went completely pliant when he realized the pet name Felix had used for him.

Felix smirked at the deep blush spreading on the elder’s cheeks, using the moment to get the towel between his buttocks and clean the white cum already dripping from the inside.

“Feels weird.” Hyunjin gasped a breath, his eyes scrunching at the sting of his freshly used hole.

“I know, darling. I’m almost done.” Felix tried to clean as much as he could with the towel, knowing it wouldn’t be enough to get it all out.

“N-no. I mean…you- there.” He sighed, switching his gaze to somewhere else.

Felix grinned, wetting his fingers with spit and bringing them to Hyunjin’s entrance.

The elder jolted, suddenly looking down wide-eyed.

“Shh, I’m just trying to get it all out.” It was actually the only way to clean his insides of cum if he didn’t want to get some water just now. But Felix had to admit he was enjoying it too much. 

He pushed his fingers inside, feeling Hyunjin’s now stretched walls clenching nervously around him.

“Why are you clenching so much? I was inside you literally two minutes ago.” Felix bit his lip, watching Hyunjin squirm when he curled his fingers upwards to graze his prostate so slightly.

“I- I’m just not used to it.” Hyunjin breathed out, closing his eyes at the feeling of warm cum leaving his gaping hole.

“You can say it if you didn’t like it. I don’t want you doing something you don’t wanna just because I enjoy it.” Felix was so serious, he didn’t want Hyunjin to feel uncomfortable, he just wanted him to feel good.

“You enjoyed it?” Hyunjin smiled, his lips caught between his lip trying to stop his lips from stretching.

“I- yeah. I did.” Felix used the towel to take the white mess off Hyunjin’s balls and hole, also cleaning his fingers. “But that doesn’t mean we have to do it again. I mean, we both have to agree and enjoy it to make it as pleasurable as possible. I couldn’t forgive myself if I did something you don’t like-”

“I liked it.” Hyunjin stopped Felix’s cute rumbling, smiling and getting up on his elbows to kiss him.

Relief flashed over Felix as a deep sigh followed his little chuckle.

“Thank god.”

Hyunjin turned them around, throwing the towel on Felix’s hands to the ground and opening his legs just like Felix did with him.

Felix’s confused expression was enough to make Hyunjin laugh, grabbing another towel at his side to slide it on Felix’s crack.

“You’re full, too.” He smirked, knowing the word he had used to describe his state had Felix’s cock twitching.

“Yeah, you filled me up so much.” Felix teased, opening his legs completely and showing Hyunjin his whole self, not a bit of shame on his movements.

Hyunjin mirrored the whole process, scissoring his fingers inside Felix so his cum would leave his ass.

“Mhmm-” Felix whined, biting his lip and smirking up at Hyunjin. “I’m sure it’s all out already.” He looked down, seeing the puddle of white collecting on the towel beneath his butt.

“Yeah?” It wasn’t enough for Hyunjin, though. He kept thrusting his fingers in, quicker each time with the only purpose of feeling Felix up. “You’re so warm.”

Felix’s freckled face was now flushed, his cock twitching and starting to harden again. “Jinnie-”

Catching his lower lip between his teeth, Hyunjin finally got his fingers out of Felix’s tight heat even if his body and mind were telling him to keep going.

They were tired and another round would only make them faint or hurt, but he just couldn’t bear having him there and not being as close as possible.

“Sorry.” He cleared his throat and started pushing the towel to the side. 

He was stopped by a small hand wrapping around his wrist and getting him back to his spot.

Hyunjin frowned confused and looked at the boy still laying on the bed.

He looked like a dream.

“My thighs.” Felix smirked, showing the back of his thighs to Hyunjin and how his cum was still drizzling down there. “It dripped while I fucked you.”

Hyunjin bit his lip, thinking of Felix’s ass contracting and dripping his cum while he thrusted inside him, also filling him up.

Mesmerized in the white path going down Felix’s thighs, Hyunjin made sure to get it all on the towel.

It was silent, he checked if he left something, observing the plush mesh of Felix’s thighs, inspecting it and gulping when he spotted a few hickeys and marks of his own scattered all over the milky skin.

“You’re so pretty, Felix.” He couldn’t help but run his fingers over the bruised flesh, feeling the boy flinch when he pressed on a particular dark one.

The younger smirked and pulled Hyunjin forward, wrapping his legs around him and throwing the towel somewhere in the room.

“I know.” 

Both chuckled, shared breaths hitting their lips, smashing them together and feeling their hearts beat at the same pace. Nervous but so sweetly.

“So humble.” Hyunjin pecked Felix’s lips, leaving a trail of happy wet kisses on his cheeks.

However, when he pulled back, Felix was staring at him intensely, the smile on his lips completely gone as he nervously nibbled on his pouty lips.

“What’s wrong?” 

Felix breathed out and gripped Hyunjin’s buttocks, pushing him forward to feel him between his legs, their lengths colliding and causing them to moan softly.

“Wan’ you to stay inside tonight.” He confessed, looking up at the elder as if he wasn’t sure if it would annoy him.

“What?” Hyunjin blinked, surprised at the request.

“I just… I want you close.” Felix nibbled on his lip nervously, but reached out for the lube either way, handling it to Hyunjin who took it with the same confused and flushed expression.

“I… How’s that supposed to work? Won’t it hurt tomorrow?” Hyunjin really wanted to sleep inside Felix, but he was still worried it would be bad for him.

“Yeah.” Felix reached down to Hyunjin’s cock, stroking it to get it fully hard and squirting some lube on it. “I’ll feel you inside the whole day.”

Hyunjin’s breath hitched when he imagined Felix walking around with the shape of his cock imprinted on his insides, his hole burning every time he tried to sit.

He laid on his side behind Felix, hugging him from behind as his cock slipped inside on its own due to his already stretched rim.

“Hmm-” A breathy moan escaped Felix’s lips as his hands went to grip Hyunjin’s arms, trying to get him to squish him harder.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep like this.” Hyunjin confessed, gulping at the tight heat wrapped around him so deliciously.

“No one has ever cockwarmed you?” Felix asked curiously, also a glint of restraint in his voice.

Hyunjin shook his head, and after a moment of silence, he answered.

“No.”

Felix brought one of Hyunjin’s hands to his lips, kissing his knuckles slowly. “Just breathe and enjoy my warmth, baby.” Hyunjin closed his eyes and took a deep breath, feeling a pair of soft lips pressing down on his.

Felix turned his neck to the side, it was an awkward angle but he didn’t mind, he just wanted to feel Hyunjin.

“Feels good.” He admitted, smiling sweetly at the younger.

“Yeah?” Felix stretched a bit to turn off the lights, only leaving the moon to illuminate them.

Hyunjin sank his face on the crook of Felix’s soft neck and took a long minute only to smell the sweet cherries blooming on the pink skin.

He could still feel Felix around him, how could he not?

But he wasn’t horny, his main goal wasn’t to cum anymore, but to blend with Felix, to stay with him forever.

He never felt so connected to anyone.

“I love you.” 

As the words left his mouth, he felt himself drift to sleep, Felix said something in return but he wasn’t able to understand, his brain completely blank and void.

Only Felix in it.

_____________

There was a pleasant whiff of air hitting Hyunjin’s naked skin. He trembled when the puff started getting too cold for his liking, opening his eyes slowly feeling like he had just had the best sleep of his life.

He didn’t feel tired, but his body was completely sticked to the mattress with a heavy weight pressing down on his side.

Reaching down slowly, he tugged on a soft blanket they had surely kicked off while sleeping to cover his and Felix’s sleeping body next to him.

He nuzzled his nose on Felix’s neck, caressing the boy with it at the same time as he breathed in his characteristic scent.

The events from the previous night started replaying in his mind, causing a happy smile to form on his plump lips.

“I can feel you smiling.” Felix’s morning voice said sleepily, Hyunjin knew so well he was also smiling by the way the words were said. “And I can feel your cock twitching.”

Hyunjin chuckled, kissing Felix’s shoulder and neck.

“Your voice just gets deeper in the morning, you can’t blame me for being horny.” 

Felix shook his head as a giggle escaped his lips. “Yeah, right. Can’t blame you for how sexy I am.”

The boy moved so Hyunjin’s cock would slip from inside him, both of them hissed as he turned around smiling. 

Hyunjin took the opportunity to run his hands over Felix’s back, gripping his ass and moving him so he would lay completely in his arms.

“You’re so sexy, yeah.” Hyunjin confessed, a smirk on his lips as he touched Felix’s whole body, not being able to keep his hands to himself.

“So are you, baby.” Felix wrapped his arms around Hyunjin’s neck, bringing their faces closer and kissing him.

It was a morning kiss, not too heated but considering how needy they were for each other it was too much only to say hi.

They hummed in the kiss, tasting each other in the morning and getting lost in how good it felt to do it now that they knew their feelings.

They weren’t hiding anything anymore.

“How did you sleep?” Felix asked when they parted, caressing Hyunjin’s hair absently.

“Too good.” He confessed. “I think I’ll need you to tell me you love me every night from now on.”

Felix giggled, leaning his forehead on Hyunjin’s and kissing the corner of his lips. 

“I can do that.” Hyunjin couldn’t feel more happy. Was that how love felt like? “I’ll say it as many times as you want.”

He felt like he could run a marathon, as if he could jump and fly, scream of pure joy. 

“Can you say it now?” He asked shyly, having dreamt of it the whole night.

“I love you, Jinnie.” Felix smiled, sticking their bodies together and kissing Hyunjin’s face as he repeated the words again and again, not leaving the boy a second to breathe as he was giggling the whole time, his chest too small for the beating of his heart.

“I don’t know what I would do without you.” Hyunjin said out loud, not planning on letting it out until he realized the words had left his lips.

Felix smiled, pecking the tip of his nose and hugging the elder closer.

They decided it was time for breakfast when their stomachs started rumbling so much it almost felt like the bed was cracking.

It wasn’t that they didn’t want to eat, they were hungry. But they didn’t want to separate, too comfortable in each other’s arms.

They found Lina cooking some eggs and bacon while drinking a glass of juice, singing along a song playing in the background.

“Oh! There you are.” She sighed, probably having tried to find them since yesterday. “Good morning princes.”

Felix shook his head, getting closer so his mom could plant a kiss on his forehead.

They shared a quick glance, Lina asking Felix if everything was okay and her son smiling shyly, nodding to calm her down.

Hyunjin didn’t really know what to do, still embarrassed for how he had treated Felix and worried about how Lina felt about him since then.

However, he let out a sigh of relief when Lina reached out for him and kissed his head as well, telling them to sit down as she got the plates on the table.

“How are you feeling? After all that partying yesterday I’m sure your pretty heads are hammered.” She shook his head, suddenly making the boys realize she didn’t know about Don.

And also reminding them that they were supposed to visit him the day before.

Felix glanced at Hyunjin, as if waiting for his permission to tell Lina about everything that had happened.

The woman, seeing their serious exchange, quickly frowned and stopped eating to look at them.

“What happened?”

Hyunjin sighed, it was only fair that Lina also knew about it.

“Well… we were at a club and I received a call.” He skipped the detail where he and her son were fucking in the bathroom, remembering the moment and getting quite flushed at the memory. “My dad… He was at the hospital and apparently he has a disease. The doctor explained it to us but I didn’t understand much.”

Lina blinked, not expecting that going mute for a long minute.

“He has the Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease. ” Felix explained for him, surprising Hyunjin when he seemed to remember the name perfectly.

“How do you remember?” 

“I wanted to be a doctor before my dad passed away, I liked reading a lot.” Hyunjin nodded, not expecting something like that from Felix but feeling happy at the new knowledge.

“So your father is at the hospital right now?” Lina asked him, not letting the subject drop.

“Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve come.” The woman seemed regretful of not having been there when it wasn’t her duty.

“I… Well it’s not like you’re my mother.” He said, not to hurt but just to remind himself that as much as Lina behaved like it, he already had a mother. Even if he didn’t know her at all.

Lina frowned and smacked Hyunjin’s thigh softly, scolding. “That doesn’t matter, Hyunjin. What did I tell you?” Hyunjin cleared his throat, lost. “You’re part of this family, if you need something, you ask for it. We’re all together here, yeah?”

Hyunjin’s wide eyes were impossible to ignore, the boy nodded shyly and glanced up to catch Felix smiling sweetly at him, confirming what his mother just said.

“Do you wanna go visit him today?” Felix asked cautious, knowing how their last encounter went.

“I should, yeah.” He huffed, his skin trembling uncomfortably at the thought of returning to the cold space.

“He didn’t ask you if you should.” Lina pointed out, frowning. “ He asked you if you want to. ”

Hyunjin didn’t want to.

The last thing he wanted was to see his father. God knew what he would tell him this time.

“Y-yeah. Yeah, I’m gonna shower.” He quickly got up, missing the way Felix’s and his mother’s eyes met worriedly.

He let the water wash his rage and impotence, reminding himself how happy he should be and was before his father showed up in his life again.

He didn’t feel the burning on his skin until Felix called for him on the other end of the shower, having entered the bathroom to brush his teeth.

“Hyunjin! You’re gonna hurt yourself.” Felix quickly stepped inside the shower tray, not minding the water staining his clothes and quickly turning it off, pulling the elder out and wrapping a towel around him. “Fuck your skin is so red, baby.” He panicked, inspecting the trails of red covering Hyunjin’s once perfect torso. “Why did you do that?”

Hyunjin looked down, just now realizing what happened. 

“I didn’t realize.” He was so lost in thought he hadn’t realized how painful the water was getting to him. “I just- I’m sorry .”

Felix frowned at him sadly and cupped his cheeks, caressing them softly.

“What’s wrong, love?” Hyunjin’s heart skipped a beat at the pet name. His eyes found Felix’s quickly, a few moments of silence followed with only the both of them looking at each other.

Hyunjin didn’t want to talk, though.

He just leant forward and warped his arms around the boy, hugging him as if his whole life depended on it.

“I wish I could stay here with you forever.” He remembered the joy he was feeling in the morning when it was only the two of them kissing and cuddling, sharing silly thoughts and telling each other how much they loved the other.

Felix patted his head and sighed, kissing the side of his ear and enveloping the elder with his arms, giving him as much comfort as he could.

“That would be awesome, baby. But,” he started, grabbing Hyunjin’s face so he looked him in the eye. “Your life can’t end because of your father. We don’t have to hide to be happy, Jinnie.”

Hyunjin frowned confused, being pulled into another hug as he thought about Felix’s statement.

The truth was, the only way he knew how to be happy was to hide.

His whole life, he had been hiding. His friends, school, drawing. Everything was just an escape, he didn’t do it because he wanted to, but because it was the only way to get out of his shitty life.

____________

Hyunjin called his boss to inform about the situation and told him he wouldn’t show up that day.

Felix made sure to revise Hyunjin’s skin and lent him some soft clothes so he wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. 

Lina offered to go with them, but Hyunjin didn’t want anyone to see his father. Felix was enough company, even if he also felt ashamed of the boy watching his progenitor.

Felix stopped Hyunjin’s leg from bumping for the nth time as they waited for the doctor, sitting nervously in the waiting room.

“Hyunjin.” He sighed, having Hyunjin apologizing and nibbling on his lip instead to release some tension. “Hyunjin.” Felix repeated, pulling the boy’s lip from his teeth so he wouldn’t draw blood. “Stop hurting yourself, baby.”

Hyunjin pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to calm his heart.

Just as he was taking a deep breath, Ally’s voice called for him at his side.

“Mr. Hwang.” She smiled, shaking his hand once he got up from the uncomfortable chair.

“Hyunjin.”

The doctor smiled, nodding. “Hyunjin. How are you feeling?”

Surprised, Hyunjin cleared his throat. Ally was supposed to tell him about his dad, not worry about him.

“Good. Hum… How- how is he?” He asked nervously, finding Felix’s hand and interlacing their fingers.

Felix switched his attention from the doctor to Hyunjin’s sudden show of affection, gaping at how the boy grabbed his hand so bluntly in front of all the people in there.

They were at a hospital, though, and his father was literally dying. People weren’t thinking about a relationship when they saw them.

“He’s…resting. Yesterday was a long day.” Ally massaged her neck. “Your father seems to get worse every time, it doesn’t surprise me but it’s really…something, to watch it happen.”

Hyunjin sighed, avoiding Felix’s instructions and biting his lip quite harshly.

“I- I didn’t notice before. Maybe he could’ve- if I-” Hyunjin stuttered, blaming himself for not having found his father’s disease before.

“Hey.” The doctor patted his shoulder comfortingly, walking them to the outside of Don’s room. “It’s not your fault, Hyunjin. A disease like this can show up anytime, that he has had it for so long doesn’t mean you could’ve realized it earlier.”

“I just… I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

Hyunjin was so lost. His father had been his curse for so long, he hated his life and it was because of him.

Every day, he woke up with the fear of finding his father drunk and ready to fight, every afternoon he got home trembling, trying to avoid the man resting on the couch to not get himself beaten. Every night, he went to sleep wishing he would wake up dead.

So knowing his dad was about to die had him at the edge of his seat, not knowing if he should feel bad. Or if he was sick for actually wishing his father’s death so many times.

“Maybe you should talk to him. He doesn’t have much time anyway. This could be your last chance.”

Hyunjin felt his chest practically splitting. Why couldn’t he just be happy?

He had Felix, he had someone who loved him, someone who cared for him, he had someone to care for and love. 

And instead of being with him, kissing him and making love to him every fucking second for the rest of his life he was there, standing in a cold corridor with his chest shrinking at the thought of his father dying.

The same father he had hated and repudiated his whole life.

A bunch of nurses started running into Don’s room, carrying a defibrillator and a table with needles, some bandages falling on the ground with the speed.

Ally turned around, alerted by the sudden presence of the nurses, she got inside the room quickly and started yelling at the personnel to get her some supplies.

Hyunjin dared to look inside the room only to find a body spasming on the bed, getting some bottles and a glass vase to fall onto the ground, crashing into little pieces.

“Leave me alone! I’m gonna kill all of you!” Don’s angry voice shouted from the inside, almost impossible to understand due to his convulsions. “Bitch! Where’s that kid?”

Ally called for the nurses, telling them to restrain the man as she inoculated a clear liquid in his arm vein.

“Shh, Mr. Hwang. Try to calm down, we’ve already talked about this.” Ally tapped the needle, getting the substance to enter the man quicker.

“He hates me, huh? My son hates me y’all! My- my own son… hates-” Don’s eyes started closing as Ally took the needle out, letting out a deep sigh when he seemed to fall asleep.

Hyunjin blinked, taking in what he had just witnessed.

His father was really bad. 

He…he was calling for him? Was that a good thing?

Tears were falling down his face before he could stop them, he quickly turned around and left the hospital, running to the back yard and taking a deep breath once he felt cold rain washing his hurt.

He started fully sobbing once he replayed the scene in his head. All the memories he had with his father started playing, reminding him that not everything was bad.

He remembered his father teaching him how to ride a bike, guiding him from behind and not letting go just because Hyunjin wasn’t sure enough.

He remembered the day his father brought him to a field to play football and started raining, it didn’t make them stop, though. Hyunjin felt so happy back then, his father laughed with him, he cared for him.

He returned home covered in mud, his father told him to be quiet as they walked into the house, trying to avoid his mother.

Not everything was bad.

Before she left.

“Hyunjin!” Felix’s voice neared him, his lean body appearing from the hospital and running to the elder. “Hyunjin.” He stopped once he was in front of him, and Hyunjin hated it. He hated the look of pity on Felix’s face.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Hyunjin couldn’t stop the sob about to leave his mouth, only making Felix’s expression deepen.

“ Baby .” The younger called him lowly, trying to close the gap between them. Hyunjin took a step back, not wanting the touch of someone who was sorry for him.

“I wished for it, Lix.” He started, his tears mixed with the cold drops of the rain. “I- I’m horrible. I wished for my father's death .”

Felix frowned sadly, stopping his attempts to reach out and opting for talking to the boy.

“You’re not horrible, Hyunjin.” Before the elder could interrupt him, he kept talking. “Your father- he has been horrible to you. I would be surprised if you hadn’t felt anything negative about it.”

“You don’t understand, Felix. I- I wished every night. I wanted him to go through the worst of deaths and- fuck Lix look at him. He’s-”

“No.” Felix stopped him from going further, finally closing the gap between them and taking Hyunjin by the arms so he wouldn’t leave. “Hyunjin don’t ever blame yourself for what your father’s going through. It doesn’t matter what you wished for, there’s no one making your wishes come true out there.” Felix was determined, he wasn’t gonna let Hyunjin sink in that hole, he couldn’t. “I know how you feel, but it’s not your fault, Hyunjin. You have thoughts, everyone has them. But they’re just that, thoughts.”

“B-but Felix I’m not okay. I have… I keep having those sick thoughts .” He confessed, biting the inside of his cheeks nervously, not being sure if it was safe to share it with Felix. 

“What do you mean?” 

After a second of silence, Hyunjin gulped loudly and decided there was no turning back.

“I still want him dead, Felix.”

Felix blinked, his hands losing the grip on Hyunjin’s biceps as the elder looked down, ashamed of his words and thoughts.

“I… I just wish- I wish I could be happy. And I’ve only been happy without him in my life.” He added, taking one of Felix’s hands in his. “With you.” Felix looked up, still lost and catching stray words. “I know it’s sick. I know I shouldn’t think like that, that’s why I keep blaming myself. But the truth is…” Hyunjin took a deep breath, grabbing Felix’s face tightly. “The truth is I don’t fucking care about anyone else, Felix. I’m so fucking sick I can’t feel anything for anyone. Not sadness, or happiness. I just feel dead all the time.” Felix didn’t blink, shocked. “But you make me feel alive. I’ve never felt… love for anyone. But Felix I just know I fucking love you so much, and I would do anything for you, I would kill for you, I would die for you.” 

Felix gulped as a tear rolled down his cheek.

“That’s-” He started, his voice cracking and having to clear his throat to keep going. “Kinda… romantic ?”

“Romantic?” Hyunjin blinked in shock, frowning and gaping. “How’s that romantic? Felix I’m telling you- I’m telling you my dad could die right now and I wouldn’t give a fuck.”

“Why would you have to care?” 

Hyunjin frowned, not really getting his point.

“Felix can’t you see I’m fucking sick? How can you still see good in me after telling you I want my father dead?” Hyunjin’s tears didn’t come out anymore, the boy too shocked to keep crying.

“Because I love you, Hyunjin.” Felix took his hands on his face to kiss them sweetly. “I’m in love with you, with all of you .” The next thing he knew was Felix’s lips were pressed against his.

After a second of pure shock, Hyunjin started reciprocating the kiss, licking into his mouth and deepening the kiss.

Hyunjin didn’t understand why, but all his problems left his body and pure happiness started flowing inside him. 

He loves me.

He really loves me.

The sound of their lips smashing melted with the rain falling onto their bodies and ground, hitting the hard marble.

But they didn’t care, the only thing they could do was kiss. Hands roaming all over each other and tongues fighting for dominance, their lips melting and slotting perfectly. Hyunjin’s lower full lip puzzling with Felix’s upper one.

“How can you be so perfect?” The pressure on Hyunjin’s chest quickly dissipated knowing Felix still wanted him, that being as fucked up as he was, someone as good and pure as Felix loved him.

“ I’m so in love .” The younger smiled, not knowing how those words hit Hyunjin to the core.

Hyunjin hid his face in Felix’s neck, giggling and kissing the skin gently. “You really don’t know what those words do to me.”

Felix chuckled, patting his hair and hugging him close.

“We gotta go inside, baby.” Hyunjin’s blood froze at the thought of returning to that place.

“I don’t wanna.” He pouted, hoping they could just lay down on the ground and cuddle for hours.

“Hyunjin.” Felix pushed his face out of his neck so he could kiss his lips one more time. “You gotta face it.”

He knew Felix was right, but still…

“I’ll be there with you.”

He took a deep breath, knowing Felix would be by his side somehow made it easier.

So he separated from the boy and nodded, offering him his hand to take so they could walk together inside again.

Ally waited for them at the end of the hallway, a scandalized look on her face at the view of the two soaked boys and Hyunjin’s eyes still red and a bit puffy from his crying session.

“Hyunjin!” The doctor took quick steps, stopping in front of them and inspecting the elder’s condition. “You need a check up.”

She started grabbing her stethoscope, but was stopped by Hyunjin’s hand and a shake of his head.

“I wanna see him.”

He couldn’t wait any longer. That was the moment he finally felt like he could get in there and face his father, tell him what a little shit he was.

He couldn’t wait for his guts to hide once again.

“Okay.” Ally nodded and cleared her throat, directing the boys to the door and looking at Felix with a quirked eyebrow.

“He’s coming with me.” Hyunjin stated, grabbing Felix’s hand harder and pulling him closer.

If he did this, he needed Felix. Only his presence was enough.

Ally nodded, not really having room to question Hyunjin’s decision as the boy seemed to be so sure of it.

Hyunjin took a deep breath and grabbed the handle of the door, going inside and dropping Felix’s hand at the sight of his father.

It was more like a reflex, he didn’t mean to do it. When he turned around, alarmed that he could’ve made Felix feel bad, the boy smiled at him tiredly and signaled for him to get further into the room, not giving it so much importance.

Hyunjin sat on a chair close to his father’s bed, Don was conscious but still a bit drowsy because of the medication, a clear mask on his face whose walls were being hit by the man’s breath.

Felix stayed on his feet at the other side of the room, not wanting to intrude but still being there if Hyunjin needed him.

“Dad.” Hyunjin cleared his throat, nerves getting to him again when his father’s eyes flicked to him, blinking slowly.

“Hy-” Don started coughing, reaching out with his hand to take the mask off his face so he could talk properly. “Hyunjin-”

Hyunjin got lost, suddenly forgetting what he wanted to say and squirming uncomfortably on his seat.

“I’m sorry.”

Hyunjin’s eyes shot up at his father’s last words, confused that he hadn’t heard right, or that it was his imagination.

“W-what?” He stuttered, looking lost and confused at the man who made him.

“I’m sorry, son.” Don repeated, taking a deep breath with the mask on and pulling it to the side next. “I… I’ve been horrible to you.”

Hyunjin felt like none of that was real, as if his father was joking or it was just happening in his head.

“W-what?” Was the only thing he could say, watching his father with wide eyes.

“To be honest, I don’t know why. I know this illness is supposed to change me, turn me into a monster or something like that.” Don sighed, looking down as if he wasn’t able to hold eye contact with Hyunjin. “But the truth is, I’ve always been a monster.”

Hyunjin’s world stopped, he swallowed the lump in his throat to try to let something out, but his father cut him off.

“Since your mother left…everything has been shit. She…she was my only light, the only one who helped me be a better person.” Hyunjin gulped, not daring to interrupt his father.

“Mom is…?” He asked cautiously.

“Yeah.” His father answered, nodding sadly at his son’s question. “She died when you were little.”

Hyunjin blinked, he always thought his mother left them.

“But-”

“No one knows how, or why. Just you.” Don stared at him, as if Hyunjin held all the answers.

“Me?”

“You were with her when she passed away, in between her arms as she lost consciousness and drifted away from us.” Hyunjin gulped, he didn’t understand.

“W-why?”

“I don’t know, son. She tried to take you with her.” Don’s heartbeat sped up, the machine at his side beeping loudly as a stray tear rolled down his face. “And because you survived and she didn’t…I- I’ve been blaming you your whole life.” The elder was fully crying by then, Hyunjin saw him physically restraining from hitting something. “Why did she have to go instead of you?” His father voiced his thoughts, hurting Hyunjin in a way he didn’t know was possible.

He didn’t just kill his mother, but he also survived her attempt of killing both of them. And his father hated him for that.

“I- I’m sorry.” Hyunjin sobbed, his heart hurting with the weight of knowing he shouldn’t be here.

Suddenly, a hand rested on his arm, Felix looked down at him frowning, having stepped closer to the boy.

“You don’t have to be sorry for surviving.” Felix said so obviously, his eyes cristalline trying to keep his own tears to himself.

Hyunjin looked up at him, his tears warm against his cold face, just as the hand caressing his stiff muscles.

“He’s right.” Don interrupted, causing Hyunjin to switch his attention again to the elder. “ Felix is right, son . I’ve been blaming you for something you weren’t responsible for.”

Hyunjin blinked, realizing his father was really trying to apologize, in his own sick way.

Felix wrapped an arm around him protectively, petting the back of his head and shoulders.

“I- I’ve had to get close to death to realize I should’ve treasured you after that. You were the only thing I had left, and I just… I despised you. ” Don seemed so ashamed of what he had done, of how he had been to Hyunjin.

And it only made the boy’s eyes sting more, just like his heart. 

Maybe he didn’t want his father to die, but that horrible man to stay away from him.

He hadn’t felt like that man was his father. Just a stranger that beat him and insulted him his whole life.

“Dad…”

“You gotta go, Hyunjin.” Don said, confusing Hyunjin even more. “I don’t want you to be here when you clearly don’t want to. I don’t want you to look at me and see as I slowly go crazy. My brain is sick . It’s always been. And you’ve been my target for so long, it’s time for you to…break free.”

Hyunjin blinked, understanding what his father was trying to say. But he couldn’t go, not when his own dad was about to die.

“I can’t go. H-how can I leave you here-”

“You can. And you will.” Don stated, not leaving Hyunjin the opportunity to keep fighting.

He took a deep breath, somehow a weight was lifted from his chest, the clouds in his brain dissipating as he felt for the first time his father was caring for him.

But he had one more thing to do.

“I- I gotta tell you something, dad.” Hyunjin started, shaking and taking a deep breath, gathering as much confidence as he could to say the words.

His father stared at him curiously, waiting for him to talk.

Hyunjin never felt so nervous and cohibited, his throat closed around an imaginary pressure that didn’t let him breathe properly, his feet curling and his hands tangling with each other, scratching the skin on the fingers nervously.

“ I’m gay .”

That’s it. I said it. 

Felix stopped at the words, not expecting the elder to confess it just now, and much less to his father.

After a minute of silence, Hyunjin dared to look up at his father, biting his lip and drawing blood with the force of his nibbling.

“Is he your boyfriend?” Don seemed quite calm for what Hyunjin had just told him, and it just made the boy more nervous.

Hyunjin stared at Felix, the younger was still in shock because of Hyunjin’s confession, his Adam Apple bobbing, waiting for him to reply as he liked.

“Yeah.” If Felix was shocked before, he surely was now. His eyes wide and mouth parted as his breath hitched. “Yeah, he is.”

He took a few seconds to react, but Felix finally reciprocated Hyunjin’s shy smile.

At that moment, Hyunjin really didn’t care about his father’s thoughts, if he was homophobic and would hate him for the rest of his dying life. 

He just cared about Felix and the fact that he had just proclaimed himself his boyfriend.

They had to have a talk, he was aware of it. But that meant they were together, right?

The perfect, cute, sexy, caring, smart and lovely Felix had just agreed to be his boyfriend, to be Hyunjin’s first boyfriend.

He had accepted him after all. After everything he had done.

“That’s…” His father started, but Hyunjin stopped him before he could say one more word.

“I don’t care what you have to say. I’m happy, he makes me happy.” Hyunjin felt a tear of joy roll down his porcelain face. “The happiest I’ve ever been.” He locked eyes with Felix, thanking him for his infinite support and love. “I just wanted to let you know, but your opinion is of no use so save it.”

Getting up from the plastic chair, Hyunjin shot a last glance at his father before taking Felix’s hand in his and directing him to the door.

“Goodbye, father.” Hyunjin took a moment to memorize his father’s features, knowing he wouldn’t see him ever again.

“Goodbye, Hyunjin.”

Reluctantly, the boy turned around and left the room, missing the way Don’s lips stretched in a tired smile, a single tear leaving his left eye at the sight of his son walking to a better life, a life he had been longing for so long and completely deserved.

Hyunjin didn’t stop to talk to the doctor, he walked with Felix by his side until he felt rainy wind hit his wet face and the darkness of the night cloud his eyes. Suddenly, his chest stopped beating, turning around and wrapping his arms around the love of his life, lifting him from the ground as he chuckled and giggled happily.

“I said it.” He laughed-cried, hiding his face on Felix’s chest feeling the vibrations of the boy’s laughter. “Felix I said it.”

“You did, baby. I’m so proud of you.” Felix giggled as well, patting Hyunjin’s head as he swung him in his arms, running and spinning as if he weighed nothing.

“Y-you are?” Hyunjin smiled, his pupils almost disappearing as a little dimple appeared at the side of his cheek.

“Yeah.” Felix reassured him, pecking his lips softly and tangling his fingers on his hair to pull him closer.

He separated quickly, still wanting to look at Hyunjin while he smiled so prettily.

“How do you feel?”

Hyunjin took a moment to think of it. His homophobic father was going to die and the last thing he told him was that his son was gay.

A melodic laugh rang along with the water falling down the clouds when Hyunjin realized how poetic it was.

“I feel… free .”

Hyunjin’s eyes dropped to the ground while the younger’s lifted to observe his face.

How could he be so happy just by observing someone else’s happiness?

“You are.”

Hyunjin yelled suddenly, the sound reaching so far that a few birds on a tree flew away. He threw his head back and laughed, he laughed like he never did before.

Felix giggled, leaning his head on Hyunjin’s cheeks unable to stop his tummy from hurting.

“I am. I really am free.” Leaving the boy on his feet again, Hyunjin grabbed his face as an idea popped up. “Lix.”

“Yeah?” The brunet responded, looking up at him with so much awe it was so obvious he would go and do whatever Hyunjin told him too.

“I wanna get drunk.”

That’s how they ended up at a lost tavern on the other side of the city.

Felix took the car with a smile and drove them to the nearest club open that served food.

They were both hungry, too lost in emotions to remember they had to eat and put some energy in their bodies.

The place was behind a gas station, it was small and it stinked like beer and sweat, but they didn’t mind.

Hyunjin’s smile hadn’t faltered for a single moment, taking Felix’s hand in his and guiding him so they could sit at the bar on two free stools.

“What can I get you, pretty?” A girl in her twenties with her boobs practically out smirked at Hyunjin.

“What do you want, baby?” Hyunjin ignored the woman’s attempt to flirt and looked at Felix with loving eyes, helping him jump onto the stool and standing at his side while they ordered.

“Hmm, I’ll let you choose.” Felix smiled, agreeing with whatever Hyunjin said to the waitress.

The small place was crowded by old males sharing a beer probably after work, some of them were people their age singing at the karaoke at the other side of the tavern.

“Enjoy your meal.” The girl placed the plates on the bar, two big burgers and a bunch of fries that smelled like heaven after a day of no eating.

They both started with the burger, opening their mouths completely to bite down on the large meat.

“Mhmm.” Felix closed his eyes as he savored the oily bread and spiced meat.

“It’s embarrassing that a burger makes you moan louder than I do.” Hyunjin joked, reaching out with his thumb to clean the corner of Felix’s mouth, stained with a bit of ketchup.

“Hmm, yeah it is.” Felix teased the elder, grabbing a fry and soaking it in ketchup before bringing it to the elder’s mouth.

Hyunjin took it happily, munching on every piece of food Felix fed him.

They ended up eating each other’s food, ordering two drinks right after to settle it down.

There was loud music around them, the lights of the kitchen off and yelling voices surrounding the whole place.

On any other occasion, it would’ve annoyed Hyunjin, he really wasn’t a fan of crowded places. But right then he was spending the time of his life, drinking as he watched Felix singing at the karaoke with some stranger.

“I thought I wouldn’t see you again.” Hyunjin turned around, surprised at the view of a giddy Jimmy sliding a glass of beer in his direction over the bar.

“Jimmy!” Hyunjin, already a bit drunk, couldn’t help but get closer to the man and hug him tightly, Jimmy reciprocating right away and chuckling at the boy’s antics.

“Seems like you made the right decision.” 

They separated and Hyunjin nodded, thanking Felix in silence for going that day to find him, for not giving up on him.

“Yeah.” Sighing, the boy leaned against the counter to stare at Felix happily jumping, missing some of the lyrics. “Thanks to him.”

Jimmy smiled, understanding their relationship once he looked into Hyunjin’s loving eyes.

“You’re so lucky to have him, then.” 

“I really am.” Hyunjin cleared his throat, realizing how lost he was everytime he looked at Felix. “How are you doing?”

“I’m good, same as always.” The elder took a long sip of his beer, rinsing the excess with the back of his hand. “You should come visit us someday, we could get dinner or a drink.”

“Yeah, sure.”

Jimmy shifted his weight from one foot to the other, clearing his throat as a question formed.

“What about your father?”

Hyunjin sighed, for the first time not feeling like his happiness was getting crushed at the mention of his existence.

Now, everytime he thought about Don Felix showed up in his mind. His effort and freedom, everything he had been through to finally reach his happiness.

“He’s okay. I haven’t seen him in a while.” Because that’s how it felt like. His father, his real father, had been gone long ago.

“Are you okay though? Do you need something? A place to stay? Food? Money?” 

Jimmy’s worry was enough to get a light pinch to spread on Hyunjin’s heart.

“I’m okay.” Hyunjin smiled as he watched a tipsy giggling Felix running happily in his direction and hugging him from the waist. “He takes care of me.”

Felix pouted cutely, pulling Hyunjin closer. “Of course I do.”

Jimmy smiled watching the two lovebirds look at each other so lovingly, their eyes shining and lips stretched widely.

“I’ll leave you alone, then.” He bowed, signaling for the waitress to serve the boys two more drinks as he walked away. “Goodbye, kid.”

Hyunjin smiled, hugging Felix close and bowing at the elder, watching him leave contently.

“Who was that?” Felix asked, his face buried in Hyunjin’s neck as he played with the collar of his sweater.

“He kinda godfathered me when I started working.” He explained, reminding himself how much that man had helped him.

“Hmm. He’s nice.” Felix started placing little kisses on Hyunjin’s soft neck, leaving a trail up until he reached the bottom of his earlobe.

“What are you doing, baby?” Hyunjin breathed out, his eyes closing at the satisfying feeling.

“ I’m horny, Jinnie .” Felix whispered so sweetly, grinding down on Hyunjin’s thigh and showing him how hard he was under his jeans.

“Ohh are you?” He replied pettily, picking him up and placing him on top of a table at their side, not caring about the curious eyes surrounding them.

“Mhmm.” Felix leaned down, licking a stripe up the elder’s neck, causing a shiver to run down his whole body.

“You- ah you’ve had my cock inside you the whole night and you want it again already?” He bit his lip, fighting his instincts just to see how much he could tease the boy.

“Can’t get enough of you.” Felix breathed out, grazing his teeth over a sensitive spot, feeling Hyunjin’s cock twitch between his thighs. “You’re like- fuck. I just need you inside the whole time.”

Hyunjin grunted, grabbing Felix’s hips harshly and pushing him closer so their cocks brushed, a thick layer of clothes between them, not letting them get enough pleasure.

“Hmm, such a slut for me.” 

Felix moaned at the degrading name, letting his weight fall onto Hyunjin’s body so he could manhandle him.

“Yeah. Yes. Want you to treat me like a slut, Jinnie. Use me like a whore.” Felix’s deep voice was enough for Hyunjin to growl like a possessed animal, his fingers dipping into the plush flesh of Felix’s thighs.

“I’m gonna ruin you so good, princess.” With his breath now hitting Felix’s ear, he hummed as he rolled his hips slowly. “Gonna mark you up so everyone knows you’re only mine.”

“Yes!” Felix gripped Hyunjin’s hair tightly to guide him forward, baring his neck and offering him full access. “Mark me, Jinnie. Wanna be yours.”

“You’re already mine, doll.” Hyunjin bit down on Felix’s neck, but he didn’t stop once he heard Felix’s broken moan, sinking his teeth even deeper until he could almost feel the skin tearing underneath.

“Fuck. Please~” Felix scrunched his face as he felt his veins throbbing to be freed off Hyunjin’s teeth.

“Why are you so horny, hmm? What were you doing up there?” Hyunjin asked curiously, running his tongue over the deep mark he left at Felix’s pulse.

“Just- ah just looking at you.” Small hands clawed on the expanse of Hyunjin’s back. It was frustrating how he couldn’t feel it properly due to his sweater separating their bodies, Felix’s nails desperately digging into the fabric as if he would be able to tear the cloth.

“You’re this hard just by looking at me, princess?” Hyunjin pointed out the word by grabbing Felix’s twitching crotch, the boy’s eyes rolling to the back of his head when he finally got some stimulation.

“The more I love you, the harder you make me.” Hyunjin smirked, lowering Felix’s head by pulling on the black hair and joining their lips in a heated hungry kiss. “Mhmm-”

Felix moaned at the feeling of Hyunjin’s tongue licking inside his mouth, gently but so sensually. It made him remember how it felt when he ate him out, or when it circled the tip of his cock, getting it wet and hard.

Felix didn’t try to fight for dominance anymore, he just opened his mouth and let Hyunjin taste all of him. It was wet and messy, someone else could take it as gross by the way they were literally eating each other’s mouth, but it couldn’t be more exciting for them.

Wandering big hands found the top of a perky plush butt, a breathy moan escaped Felix at the warmth suddenly cupping his buttocks.

“Mhhh-” He clinged to Hyunjin, their bodies pressing together as he brought his head closer, not taking his fingers away from his soft black locks.

Separating their faces just a little bit, Felix stuck his tongue out, immediately feeling a ring of lips wrapping around it and sucking lusciously.

Hyunjin reached out with his own tongue and started circling the other’s wet muscle, now both of them moving their tongues in a rhythmic pace sharing spit and the tingles that their memories provoked.

“Get a room!” Someone shouted from the other side of the bar, a man at his forties with a group of drunk people, all of them staring at the couple almost fucking on that table.

Felix turned his head and smirked provokingly before getting back to Hyunjin’s mouth, this time putting on a show for everyone who watched them.

He wrapped his legs around the elder’s body, his cock throbbing just knowing they weren’t alone.

“Fuck Lix.” Hyunjin grunted, trailing his lips down his neck and leaving open-mouthed kisses all over, soaking the skin in spit.

“I need you, Jinnie. I want you so bad.” The boy almost pleaded, his face flushed while he caught his lip between his teeth. 

“Let’s get out of here.” Quickly pulling apart, Hyunjin took Felix’s hand to guide him out of the bar. 

The boy seemed disoriented, only following Hyunjin and none of them noticing that wasn’t the same door they crossed to get inside the place.

The people around them stopped watching, some of them rearranging their clothes and pants because of their growing erections.

Felix fixed his eyes on the same man who called them out and winked with a teasing smile, too high on pleasure and alcohol to care.

When they crossed the door, they felt rain hit their already dry clothes.

“Oh fuck it’s raining again.” Hyunjin looked up as if he would be able to see where it was coming from, as if it wasn’t obvious.

He jolted when his back collided with the hard billet wall, Felix in front of him and being the cause of his push.

“I can’t wait anymore.” He explained, dipping his hands below the hem of Hyunjin’s sweater and getting in contact with the warm skin at the cold place.

“W-what? Lix it’s raining. A lot.” Hyunjin tried to get some sense as Felix made sure to cover his neck in hickeys and bites, the skin aching because of the harsh treatment.

“I don’t fucking care.” The younger breathed out against his cheek, his teeth finding his earlobe and pulling from it. “I want you. Now .”

Hyunjin pushed the boy to the side just to switch spots, Felix now with his back hitting the wall while Hyunjin made his way between his thighs.

He leaned forward, getting closer to Felix’s lips making the boy think he was gonna kiss them.

Instead, he caught his lower pouty lip between his teeth and bit hard on it, as much as his body told him to.

“Hngg-” Felix complained, frowning in pain but not pushing the elder away, taking everything he gave him.

“My pretty princess.” Hyunjin praised him, sliding his hands down and cupping Felix’s ass as he kissed the side of his face, nibbling gently on it. “ My boyfriend .”

A warm smile spread on Felix’s face as a light moan left his sweet mouth.

“Ah- I can’t believe you said that.” He chuckled, turning his head so he could stare at the elder.

“I’m sorry I didn’t ask you first.” Hyunjin looked quite nervous. “I- I don’t know how this is supposed to go.”

“ This ?” Felix raised an eyebrow, confused.

“Relationships.” He clarified, nibbling on his lip. “I… I’ve never been in one.”

“You have never dated anyone?” Felix asked surprised, wide-eyed.

Hyunjin gulped nervously and shook his head slowly. “No.”

After the shock settled, Felix smiled, leaning his forehead on Hyunjin’s. “Well then; Hwang Hyunjin.” He started, his lips stretching further with each word. “ Do you want to be my boyfriend ?”

Hyunjin giggled, his hand finding Felix’s waist and lifting the boy from the ground to kiss him.

It was slow, and it held so much love.

Hyunjin’s chest ached only with the thought of finally being able to spend his time with the person he really wanted, the person he loved.

“Yeah. Yeah, I do.” They both lost themselves in low giggles, forgetting about the rain still soaking them wet.

So they ended up in a dark alley, their bodies being only illuminated by the moonlight, reflecting the water running down their skin and clothes as they professed their love.

The kiss turned heated in no time, Felix’s legs spread to accommodate Hyunjin between them, his body still lifted from the ground and staying still thanks to the strong arms pushing him to the wall.

“Jinnie~” Felix moaned, rutting his cock on Hyunjin’s abs to try to get some of the pain to go away. 

“It’s okay, baby.” Hyunjin calmed him down, reaching for the back pocket of his pants to take a little package of lube. “I’ll take care of you.”

Felix abandoned himself, his cock still ached and throbbed, but he didn’t care because he knew Hyunjin would help him.

“I love you so much, Jinnie.” Felix cried out, his collarbones being abused by Hyunjin’s unforgiving mouth.

“Fuck don’t say that again.” He brought his hands to rest on his buttocks, his fingers sinking on the flesh almost painfully. “I’m gonna go mad, Felix.”

“But I love you.” He pouted, a cute teasing frown on his face as he rolled his hips in circles to rub Hyunjin’s hard cock.

He didn’t get a verbal answer, though.

The sound of shredding fabric resonated on the dark alley, Felix’s eyes widened at the realization that Hyunjin had just ripped his pants and boxers at the seam, his butt now on full display.

He looked down, shocked that someone actually had the strength to do that.

“D-did you just-?” The sound of a package opening dragged his attention back to Hyunjin, who was using his teeth and his free hand to pour lube all over his fingers.

“Yeah.” The elder leaned forward, his tongue was inside Felix’s mouth before he could even feel his lips.

Felix jolted at the feeling of long bony fingers spreading the liquid all over his hole, getting it even more wet than they already were.

“Hmm-”

“Take my cock out, princess.” Hyunjin ordered, stopping their kiss for a moment just to dive in once again.

Felix’s clumsy trembling fingers found his belt, unbuckling it as fast as he could before he reached his fly.

Hyunjin hissed when small cold fingers wrapped around his throbbing cock, spreading the precum already collecting at the tip, lazily jacking him off while they kissed.

“Fuck.” Hyunjin grunted, throwing his head back when Felix ran his thumb over the slit, his thighs slightly trembling trying not to drop the boy. “What do you think, baby? D-do you think I can fit just like this after how good I stretched you last night?”

“My ass has literally the shape of your cock.” Felix bit his lip, clenching on nothing and still feeling the void inside him. “Just put it in. Please, Jinnie~”

“Do it yourself.”

Hyunjin observed with dark eyes as Felix reached out for his cock again and brought it to his butt, the tip rubbing against the puckered skin and almost slipping inside on its own.

Raising his chin, Felix looked at the elder through his lashes as he thrusted inside, his butt practically sucked him in, Hyunjin’s cock entering in one single motion and resting inside the warm heat when he was balls deep.

“Oh, fuck-” Both panted, feeling how perfectly Hyunjin fit inside the younger. “ Fuck Lix.”

“Yeah, fuck .” Felix opened his mouth just to get some more air in, the rain wetting his tongue.

After a quick glance at the boy, Hyunjin enveloped his plush thighs with his hands and pushed his hips forward, Felix’s eyes rolling back as his hands formed little fists.

Smirking, Hyunjin pushed Felix’s body further into the wall as he started ramming inside him right away, not giving him a chance to accommodate as his length thrusted inside the boy at an unforgiving pace.

“Ah- Jinnie!” Felix closed his eyes, his whole body limp as he let Hyunjin manhandle him, his thighs now resting over his shoulders.

He was completely folded, Hyunjin’s cock reaching so deep inside he could see the bulge on his own just by resting his head on his pecs.

“How can you feel so fucking good- ah.” Hyunjin growled, speeding up his thrusts and making the boy bounce on his cock while he snapped his hips expertly, rolling them in circles and ramming dryly over his prostate.

“Jinnie! Ah- H-hyunjin!” Felix called for him, his eyes fixed on a spot behind him, not being able to stop the moans from coming out.

“What’s wrong, Lixie?” Hyunjin slowed down just to hear what he had to say, knowing so well he wouldn’t be able to talk properly with the harsh way he was getting fucked.

“They’re- ah w-watching.” 

Hyunjin turned around the slightest bit to spot two boys their age observing them at the other side of the wall, their eyes widening when they realized they had been caught.

“ So ?” Hyunjin smirked, going back to the brunet sprawled out on the wall whose eyes were almost closed. “You like it when they watch, don’t you?”

Felix gulped, eyeing the strangers and Hyunjin in shock.

“W-wha-” 

“I’ll stop if you want me to.” Hyunjin assured him, a playful smirk following. “ But if you don’t , I’ll show everyone in here how good I can fuck you.” He licked Felix’s earlobe. “What a good whore you are for me. Only for me.”

Felix seemed to consider the option for a second before he was biting his lip again. “Only for you.”

Hyunjin took that as his reply, grinning like a mad man as he started ramming inside Felix again, their eyes locked and somehow the tension was higher knowing there were people watching them.

Hyunjin used his body to protect Felix’s from being seen by the others.

Felix threw his head back as his prostate was constantly hit by the elder, the tip of his cock reaching the bundle of nerves as if it was its home, attacking it in a delicious pace.

“Look at me.” He ordered, Felix immediately opening his eyes and staring back at the elder’s crazy face. “Yeah, that’s it. Good boy.”

Felix moaned, a string of nonsense leaving his mouth as he started sobbing, his tears mixing with the rain hitting his face smoothly.

“J-jinnie I c-can’t hold it.” He whined, his hips now being guided by Hyunjin’s big hands to meet his cock halfway. “You’re- you’re too deep.”

“Wanna give them a show, baby?” Hyunjin grinned, fixing his dark eyes on the whimpering man in front of him.

Felix smirked through his pleased expression, nodding feverishly and grounding his body on Hyunjin’s by gripping his biceps.

“Fuck you’re insane.” He chuckled, switching his pace to a rougher slower one, grazing over the boy’s prostate almost avoiding it, making him whimper and beg for it. “You’re the only one crazy enough to ask me to fuck you below the rain in front of some strangers.”

“I- I’d let you fuck me wherever you wanted to.” Felix moaned when the heat in his belly started pressing down, the cold surrounding them long forgotten as they melted in each other’s warmth, sharing a last kiss before they ran out of air, panting in each other’s mouths. 

“Yeah? You’d be my personal fuck toy, always stretched and ready to open your legs for me, hm?” Hyunjin’s thrusts became sloppier each time, his cock filling with blood and cum ready to shoot.

“Yes, fuck yes. Hyunjin-” Felix started squirming, his toes curling when Hyunjin started grunting in his ear, licking a stripe up his jaw and inserting his tongue inside his mouth without a warning. “I’m gonna cum- fuck I’m gonna cum, Jinnie!”

“ Cum .” He answered almost growling, his arms hurting for holding Felix for so long but refusing to let go. “Show me how good I make you feel, baby.”

Felix threw his head back as a strangled moan left his lips, followed by a deep breath that had his whole body trembling, feet lacing and curling in the air as he locked Hyunjin inside him, clenching so hard on him he was almost massaging his cock.

“Oh fuck- yes. Fill me up, Jinnie, fill me- ah. Cum with me-”

Hyunjin gritted his teeth, pushing his face closer to Felix’s, biting down on his lip and emptying inside the boy.

“God- always so good for me, taking all of it-” Hyunjin almost shed a tear at the clouding pleasure building in his whole body.

A wet patch started forming at the front of Felix’s pants, his hips coming to a stop and his body’s spasming subsiding once he felt Hyunjin’s warm liquid collecting inside him.

They had to take a moment to recover, suddenly remembering where they were and their condition.

But they couldn’t care less, their eyes opened to find each other’s.

Hyunjin reached out with his hand, pressing Felix to the wall with his own body so he wouldn’t fall.

He grazed the freckles scattered all over the wet skin, getting some drops of rain on his fingers.

“ You’re… ” He started, pausing when a bunch of descriptions started floating in his mind.

Felix was… perfect . He was beautiful, smart, breathtaking, caring, considerate, diligent, generous, reliable, sincere, sensitive, funny.

And…

“ Yours .”