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Coman: I was in the car with Joshua today. and he listened to a war podcast about Germany and France. that’s hospitality
Kimmich: I was merely listening to my history podcast. Please don’t assume it’s my fault that this episode was about the 1940 Invasion of France...
Mbappe: War. Grandpere hates Allemagne
Manuel: we all hate war😩 but it’s not like Josh did it
Kimmich: Maybe my great great grandfather did
Coman: tout va bien. I like you anyway, Joshi 😽☀️
Kehrer: I am a real fan of ZDF Info Documentary. There was a 10-part doc about the SS and I watched every episode. Look what quarantine has done to me. I also watched every single National Geographic piece on Disney … I know everything
Draxler: Nobody asked, nobody cares. But enjoy whatever!
Fiete: I simply loveDisney They got all my favourite Pixar movies.
Manuel: I enjoy Wall-E
Kramer: I watched all Marvel Movies on there, I really went down the MCU rabbit hole
Reus: Cool, I did the same
Müller: For my part I got started on the Harry Potter franchise, both movies and books
Kramer: I love that stuff. I actually started pairing up the people in this chat with the characters. But I won’t share my thoughts since y’all can’t handle truth or jokes.
Götze: No please tell me, Christoph. You need to tell me, because I feel like a wee Harry Potter myself
Goretzka: 🤡
Brandt: I am such a Draco, it’s obvious!
Schmelle: My wife and I like to visit medieval fairs and she’s always dressed as a witch and I’m obviously a wizard. My favourite character is Gandalf
Müller: that’s Lord of the Rings!
Kramer: Well then I’ll go onto that slippery slope, please be kind:
Danny reminds me of Harry because they’re both oblivious. Ron is somehow similar to Ron. And Kimmich is such a Hermione…
Kimmich: Hermione is my fave! 🤫
Da Costa: yes, everyone assumed as much. I like Harry, but I don’t see how I’m oblivious!!
Manuel: I am the boss, you need to start with ME!
Kramer: you’re a Dumbledore
Manuel: whatever nevermind 😐
Kramer: Let’s continue with the teachers;
Leon is McGonagall because he’s strict yet likeble
Meyer is Flitwick cause he’s small
Niki is Hagrid, our big boy
Durm as Lockhart (styling icon)
Kehrer as Trewlaney (i know you always read your horoscope in the women's health magazine)
Brandt is the Severus Snape (Harassing Kai and bullying many others)
Meyer: I. AM. not.short.
Goretzka: You can’t live by being happy and jokey all the time 🥱
Durm: But is Lockhard as beautiful as I am?
Kehrer: Ja
Durm: Ok 🤪😚
Kehrer: I mean, if you’re into guys like him
Kehrer: Trewlaney is my spirit animal btw
Brandt: 🤬🤯😡😡😡 Snape is not cool. I am DRACO I AM DRACO I AM DRACO
Kramer: I beg your pardon. There are much more fitting Dracos in here. Like Kruse, for example
Kruse: Ha ja ha
Brandt: I don’t like you anymore
Kruse: So? There are still plenty of people who like me
Da Costa: so much hateful energy
Götze: Who am I?
Reus: I feel like both of us are those twins!!
Kramer: hmm. But in a way, you’re more like Molly and Arthur.
Götze: So we have two roles at once. Look at us, Marco, look at how we slay
Coman: I want to be Weasley too
Kramer: Ginny?
Coman: Ah Womenpower oui
Kramer: so let’s continue with all the other Weasleys
Draxler as Percy
Bill is Kaii
Charlie is Schmelle
Goretzka: Never seen anything as fitting as Draxler being fucking Percy Weasley 🥸😂
Kimmich: Ohh ja
Kai: Bill is cool. But I’m happy if my character is far from Jule’s
Brandt: you’re such a ninny with your „personal safety distance"
Fiete: what about me?? Am I Cedric? Plenty of people say that I look like a young Robert Pattinson
Draxler: where did you hear that? Some diy quiz in Seventeen magazine?
Fiete: 😢
Kramer: Fiete let's be real. You’re annoying. You’re Dobby.
Fiete: Dobby is cute 😒 but I am hot
Draxler: you are not hot, not even climate change could change that
Hector: That’s a bit cruel!
Durm: exactly 🤚🏻 Stop it
Mbappe: finally a message I can understand! Wohoo 🥳
Coman: I translate to you even Thomas’ German/English Mix
Kramer: Have I forgotten anyone?
Werner: me. Everyone always forgets about me. But I am used to that by now 🙄 Our coach has even forgotten to invite me to some important briefings😩
Müller: He didn’t talk about me either. Jeez Timo, stop making such a fuss.
Da Costa: Uhm also, who are you, Chris?
Kramer: Werner is the sorting hat 🤫 and I feel like Thomas has a Luna Lovegood energy
Müller: 🥳🥰
Werner: The sorting whut
Hector: The sorting cat, meow 🐱
Goretzka: don’t start with those awful jokes again
Kramer: And personally, I think I’m Neville
Mbappe: I wanna be Hedwig!!!
Kramer: You are Michelangelo?
Müller: They put Michelangelo in there? I only remember them talking about Merlin. BUt Michelangelo?
Mbappe: Who told you about the turte 🤬 I don't look like Michelangelo!!!!!!!
Fiete: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Michelangelo?????????? I love them so much🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩
Bale: What about me?
Kramer: upsi
Voldemort
Bale: :/ why tho
Kramer: I dunno🤷🏼 lol. makes no sense
Bale: thanks lad, I guess
Manuel: Anything else to say, chris? Maybe something that’s not repellant??
Kramer: MCU
Manuel: oh okay, I mean, that’s an obvious case
Da Costa: ??
Manuel: come on guys, I look like Hemsworth, I am 100% Thor
Durm: Kinda
Draxler: Never ever
Kehrer: nonono, Manuel 😙😌 You don’t look like Chris Hemsworth. You can’t touch the "Hemisphere"
Thomas: I think Manuel is a handsome looking fella. He could be Tor
Hector: The only relation is him being a Goalkeeper, know in German as a Torwart
Draxler: Thanks for another terrible joke, danke Jonas 🖕🏼
Kramer: Here’s why I envisioned you as Thanos, Draxi <3
Draxler: yeah, suck my ass. and take that heart and put it back where you’ve came from
Manuel: what about me?? I am Thor, hallo
Kramer: I wanna do things differently
Erik is giving me scarlet witch vibes, I dunno, I see him destroying a city by himself and trying to look his best whilst doing so.
Durm: 😘
Kramer:And that twin, Pietro - Werner
Schmelle: Pietro Lombardi???
Hector: the schlager singer??
Werner: Huh? Why do I literally die after one movie? That’s almost worse that being the sorting hat, be ffr
Durm: How am I supposed to feel about being your twin? 😁💅🏻
Kramer: let’s just continue
Kai you can be black widow Black Widow
even tho I love Black Widow 💆🏼
Brandt: Ja Kai is almost as gorgeous as Scarlett Johansson
Havertz: Please tell me that my character never crosses paths with Julian’s
Kramer: Jule is giving star lord 😌 with that tiny sparkle of dumbness, that always surrounds him
Kramer: Kingsley you can be my other fave, Black Panther
Coman: RIP Chadwick 🥺🖤Un honneur
Kramer: So
Rocket - Meyer (It’s a perfect match)
Groot- Bale cause he never talks!
Bale: huh
Da Costa: he is surrounded by germans and only understands like three words, poor lad 🤣🤣
Kramer: Mario is Captain America and Marco will be his Bucky
Götze: Lol, I’d laugh my ass off If he fell from a train
Reus: :(
Kramer:
Spider-Man and Fiete are basically one
Hector is Falcon
Durm: Anthony Mackie 😍 love himmmm
Da Costa: That’s very random
Mbappe: Who am I?
Kramer: 🐢
Mbappe: Bullying !
Fiete: I looooove Spider-Man and Tom Holland is hilarious
Goretzka: I preferred Andrew Garfield ngl
Manuel: Are you serious; The first spiderman will always be the best.
Kramer: Schmelle looks exactly like Zemo, I mean E X A C T L Y. And someone *cough Erik* cough sends me TikToks about that guy, so I cannot get him out of my head
Durm: I just keep you up to date about all those latest trends 🙁
Kramer: It’s fine, no worries
Schmelle: Daniel Brühl? He is one handsome fella, I’ll admit! Thanks for the compiment :)
Da Costa: That’s a kind reaction, how you SHOULD react in here.
Kramer: The next people will be Kimmich and Goretzka
Kimmich: I am Tony Stark 💥
Because I am smart
Süle: However, Tony Stark is famous and cool, just unlike you. There may be some 15 year olds that wanna date you, but that doesn’t mean that you are favoured in this group 😎
Kimmich: Seriously, Niki? That’s all it takes for you to show up in this chat? To insult me? You really don’t need friends in this world.
Goretzka: I’d like to be Dr Strange 😇
Kramer: I will not grant your wishes
Kimmich is (Dr.) Strange and Leon, my dear, you are a whole ass Dr Banner
Goretzka: I DON’T HAVE AN ANGER ISSUE
Kimmich: he screamed
Schmelle: does this doctor have an anger issue?
Kruse: My Doctor once became angry because I didn’t eat my veggies. I still don’t eat veggies.
Kramer: oh I almost forgot
Kruse as Gamora
Kruse: A Woman? Me?????
Hector: hahaha
I think you would be way hotter wearing green
Goretzka: NO I AM NOT HOTTER AS A GREEN GUY
Goretzka: oh, you weren’t talking about me
uncomfortable situation
Manuel: I am growing impatient
Who am I, tell me?
Kramer: ahh yes. Tony Stark is my Idol, Danny da Costa. Master of Sarcasm and popular with the ladies.
Da Costa: I’m popular? Ehehe lok.
Da Costa: No, I don’t know ehehe. I am a married man 🤓
Müller: I a married toLisa
Kimmich: Great, Thomas
Manuel: dude
Kramer: Thomas is Hawkeye, even though I’d be scared to see him holding a bow.
Müller: Doesn’t make sense but I’m happy🙏🏻 😁 I one entered the adventure of archery after watching the Hunger Games. It didn’t go well.
Goretzka: 😟 I am scared about my health
Süle: just don’t get angry, Leon
Kramer: My beloved Loki is my beloved Thilo Kehrer. He makes people go weak. And I like his hair.
Manuel: and I am Thor
Kehrer: you don’t look like him
Hector: you really have a hiiiiigh opinion of yourself phew 🤓
Kramer: Niklas is Thor
such a strong Boi
Manuel: What? Niklas is fat Thor if anything
That’s a shame, a robbery
I wanna leave this chat
Draxler: then pack your things and leave
Manuel: Hell no, It’s my chat after all. This ain’t gonna be Christophs WhatsApp Clan; I won’t let that happen🤬
Süle: omg Manuel, I even did strength training at the gym today. I am not that chubby anymore.
Kruse: I like going to the gym. They have a huge television and I like to eat my icecream there.
Götze: You are a though nut, Max
Kramer: Nobody asked me; I will admit, it’s a bit insulting. However, I am Vision and Nick Fury is Jürgen Klopp
Durm: Kloppo ✌🏼😩
Manuel: Everything in this chat is unfair
Who am I
Kramer: Captain Marvel 😊
Manuel: I deserved Thor
Hm
Götze: She is one of the strongest, stop complaining.
Kimmich: Manuel just likes being right. He is mad mad now.
Hector: And we didn’t even mention his girlfriend for a whole day.
Werner: well you just mentioned her
Da costa: but he didn’t joke about here being so young
Hector: for real tho....
Müller: We should start respecting Manuel in here. He is Captain Manuel after all; when we (rightfully) joke about him: we should do it behind his back. Otherwise we’ll hurt his manliness.
Kramer: I feel like the manliness was gone after I said that he looks like Captain Marvel.
Kehrer: I s a compliment on his behalf, Manuel wouldn’t be as strong
Manuel: you’re aware that I’m still online?!
Kruse: You may feel treated in an unkind manner. But just imagine how your girlfriend must feel when she wakes up next to you in the morning tbh
Kramer: that's what he said
Manuel: 😭I’ll go and cry
Müller: Well he surely is gone now
Kramer: Manuel is such an easy target
Da costa: It’s not like we don’t like him, but sometimes we just need to banter a bit
Goretzka: On another notice: I’ll start a Disney Group Watch to watch Infinity war. Who wants to join?
Kramer: Oh yesss!
Müller: I would love to, but I cannot navigate my IPad
Werner: yesss watch those movies and rember how they’ve killed me
I love my life 😒