Archive of Our Own ^beta

The day Regulus turns twenty, his insufferable, darling brother accosts him in the early hours of the morning by appearing at his front door, with a shopping bag full of fresh fruit and baking condiments, and a big, goofy smile plastered on his face.  

“Happy birthday, you filthy animal.” He wraps his arms around Regulus and squeezes, crushing his ribs and lifting him off the ground. “I’m making you waffles.” 

Regulus rubs his face with the back of his hand and yawns, staring at Sirius crossed-eyed, sleep still coursing through his veins. 

“It’s seven in the morning on a bloody Sunday,” he whines, but steps aside, letting Sirius slither into the flat and lunge straight for the kitchen. 

“Farmer’s market opens early, and I couldn’t sleep.” 

Sirius makes himself feel at home in their spacious kitchen. He lines the table with the shopping and pulls the waffle maker off the shelf. The last item he retrieves from his bag is wrapped in green paper and looks suspiciously like a slim book with a hardback cover.   

“This is for you.” Sirius proffers his hand and nudges Reg on the arm with the sharp edge of the package, giving him a sheepish look. “I was hesitant if this was the one you wanted, but James swore on his life it’s the right one, and he’s got a surprisingly good memory for that kind of shit, so…” 

Reg’s heart hammers in his rib cage. He accepts the gift, pressing it into his chest protectively. 

“It’s from James?” he whispers. 

“No, no, it's from me, but James helped me find it.” Sirius scratches his head and shrugs. “I hope you like it. I have a feeling you will.” 

“I don’t doubt that,” Regulus lets out a shaky breath and studies the package closely. “Thank you. Still, you could have brought it over later on and let me get some sleep, you know.” 

“I told you.” Sirius pokes him in the cheek playfully. Regulus frowns and pats his hand away. “I had to get to the farmers market, and…” 

“And?” Reg puts the gift on the countertop. “What happened? What’s up?”

“Mother called…” Sirius says eventually, fists clenching.  

Regulus feels a cold shiver run down his spine.

“She called… today?” he rasps out. 

“No.” Sirius hesitates. “She called last night, just before I went to bed. She asked me if I could get her your new phone number. She wanted to call you today, I guess.” 

Regulus doesn’t respond, not right away. Sirius waits with bated breath, his eyes wide like saucers. The problem is, Reg has nothing to say. The last time he exchanged words with his mother was almost a year ago. Since then, the only time he dares to mention her name is when he’s drowning in the comfy armchair at his therapist’s office. 

“Did you give her the number?” Regulus asks.  

“No!” Sirius swears, raising his hands in a defensive gesture. “Fuck, of course I didn’t! I would never, Reggie. She’s not coming back into your life by force, so unless you want to reach out… And you know what I think about that.” 

“Yeah,” Regulus whispers and sniffles quietly. 

“I wish she didn’t have my number. I might change it just to spite her.” 

Regulus smiles weakly and squeezes Sirius’ hand. “Maybe you should. Just don’t forget to give it to me.” 

“You’d be the first one to get it, also, James would send it to you immediately. He’s so fucking caring it makes me sick sometimes.” 

Regulus snorts and nods pensively. “What a terrible quality to have.” 

“Oh, yeah. He’s the worst.” 

They make waffles together. Sirius burns his thumb on the metal casing and spends ten minutes with it stuck under a stream of cold water, moaning like a baby. 

They eat while watching morning TV and chatting about their plans for the evening. Regulus is adamant they don’t make a big deal out of his birthday but Sirius is persistent. 

“Please, let me invite some folk over. Remus wants to come, he’s not seen you in ages. James is also keen, he’s been driving me crazy recently, he keeps talking about you as if he’s your brother, not me! I feel embarrassed, it seems he cares about you more than I do sometimes, honestly.” 

Regulus cringes and hides his face behind a half-eaten waffle. 

“Please, never say that again,” he mumbles. 

“Say what?” 

“He’s not my brother. It just sounds weird.” 

“Well,” Sirius shrugs and loads the last remaining waffle, loaded with nutella and banana slices, into his mouth. “He seems to care about you a lot.” 

“But not in a brotherly way, it’s more… friendly,” Regulus implores, rubbing his nose. His cheeks are burning red, but Sirius seems none the wiser. 

“Yeah, I don’t know. I guess you’re my brother so by extension, he feels responsible for you.” 

“Sirius,” Regulus chimes in, teeth gritted. “Just stop talking. You’re barely older than I am. Neither James nor you have to ‘care’ for me, thank you very much. I’m more than capable of doing that myself.” 

“Touchy, touchy,” Sirius murmurs and puffs his lips. “I guess it is your birthday, so I will make an exception and shut my mouth. Enjoy it while it lasts, tomorrow we’re back to normal.” 

“And you’re back to being insufferable?” Regulus gets up and starts clearing the plates. He licks honey off his index finger and stuffs the last of Sirius’ waffle in his mouth. Sirius trails him back to the kitchen and to his utter surprise, he snatches the plates out of his hands and positions himself in front of the sink, eyes determined. 

“It’s your birthday, you shouldn’t be doing any housework,” he declares proudly. “You just go back to the living room and relax, or stay here and entertain me with the tales of your fascinating life. I’m sure things have been raunchy at the biology and chemistry department, and I bet Barty’s being a dick, as he always is, and Pandora is…” 

“Yes, I get it,” Regulus clicks his tongue and jumps up on the table, his legs swinging. “My life is boring in comparison to the high and mighty Sirius Black and his band of ragtag followers.” 

“If anyone is following, it’s us following James, to be honest.” Sirius starts scrubbing the waffle maker, eyeing it suspiciously, as if it could jump out from under the foam out of its own volition and burn his fingers again. “He’s the leader type. I’m the charming rebel who gets the girl, or the boy, if we’re to be exact.” 

They spent the better part of the morning like that, meandering about with no particular purpose and exchanging tales. Regulus can feel something growing at the pit of his stomach - a ball of warmth that makes him feel lightheaded, happy even. Sirius is entirely responsible for it. 

They got close in the last year. It was comparable to how tight-knit they used to be when they were kids. Regulus had resigned himself to never having that with Sirius again, but his brother was always good at one particular thing - surprising him. 

As soon as Regulus left the Black family estate and turned up on his doorstep that fateful morning, Sirius’ arms wrapped around him tightly with the intention of never letting go. He’s kept to his promise. 

“I know you’re not big on birthdays, so I won’t force you to go out and celebrate with a bang. I’m not a monster.” They return to the couch again, flicking through channels and drinking milky tea with two sugars, just as Regulus likes it. “Would you mind if we invited the guys over? James really wants to see you, I think he has a gift, but he’s being tight-lipped on that one. I hate it when he keeps secrets from me.”

Regulus picks up his mug, trying to hide the tremor in his hand. He slurps the tea and clears his throat. “Yeah, sure. Invite them. We can watch a film, maybe? I really don’t want a party, Sirius. I told Panda and Barty I’d chill with them in the evening, I don’t want to change anyone’s plans just because you decided to barge in with your own brilliant ideas.” 

“That’s fine!” his brother beams at him and starts typing furiously on his phone. “Since you’re the birthday boy, you pick the flick. Just not-”

“Can we watch Moulin Rouge?” Regulus snickers and Sirius groans loudly. 

“Not again,” he twists towards him with pleading eyes. “I’ve seen it ten times by now, Reggie.” 

“Tough,” Regulus scoffs and puts his legs on the coffee table. “You just said it’s my pick. Deal with it.” 

“Fucking hell, all right. See how much I love you!” 

Well into the afternoon, Sirius makes a trip home to pick up Remus, and Regulus gets into a cleaning frenzy. The flat is spick and span by the time he hears the buzzer again. Sirius had just messaged to say he and Remus are on the way but have to make one last stop to buy snacks and booze. It can’t be them, and everyone else has their own keys. Pandora is out for the day, Barty is sweating his anger out at the gym, and Evan is staying at his parent’s place for Christmas. 

Regulus runs downstairs and yanks the door open, coming face to face with James Potter. 

His breath hitches and he trips on his own foot. James catches him before he faceplants onto the doormat. 

“Easy there.” Strong arms settle around his waist. His nose brushes on James’ collarbone, completely by accident. He smells of vanilla and something heavier, musky. Against his better judgement, Regulus inhales and lets out a weak hum.

James doesn’t push him away but stands there, a solid weight against him, his chest rising and falling rhythmically. Regulus lifts his chin and dares look him straight in the eye. 

“Hello, birthday boy,” James’ eyes spark fondly. Regulus wobbles on his feet and takes a step back. 

“Hi,” he mumbles and eyes the bright red envelope with a golden bow that James tries to fruitlessly hide behind his back. “What are you doing here so early?” 

“Early?” James stammers and tries to peek over Regulus’ shoulder and into the flat. “Sirius and Remus are not here?” 

“No, they’re still out shopping,” Regulus gives him a blank stare. 

“Oh,” James lets out a bemused giggle and scratches his forehead with his free hand. “Do you mind if I… come inside? I mean, I can wait outside -”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Regulus huffs and gestures towards the kitchen. “Come on in.” 

Regulus walks back to the kitchen on weak legs and busies himself with the first task he can manufacture. The table doesn’t seem clean enough after two diligent rounds of wiping and scrubbing. Regulus grabs a fresh cloth and focuses far too much attention on an old stain that must have soaked into the wood by now. 

“How are you? It’s a big day, isn’t it?” James leans on the countertop, still attempting to disguise the mysterious envelope behind his back. 

“Not really.” When he can’t justify his furious scrubbing at the stain anymore, Regulus starts to dry the dishes that Sirius left by the sink. He eyes one of the cups, paint chipped on the rim. It’s one of his favourites. Sirius’ clumsiness was showing again. “It’s a day like any other. I’m not a fan of celebrating my birthdays, to be honest, nothing good ever came from it.” 

“Oh,” James gulps, eyeing Regulus from the other side of the kitchen. “Did you not… want us to be here? I can just go home. I realise I’m probably sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.” 

“James, breathe,” Regulus waves a hand at him dismissively. “It’s fine, I want you all here. Sirius promised me he won’t go overboard. It’s just a quiet night in. I don’t mind that at all.” 

James lets out a breath and wipes his forehead in a mocking gesture. “Thank god, I already cancelled all my plans and would have nothing else to do.” 

“Oh, poor you,” Regulus quips. When he turns back to the sink his lips crook in a soft smile.

He swears he can feel the heat radiating from James’ body. He’s like a furnace, every time Regulus passes him by, an invisible pull drags him in and makes his knees wobble and mouth dry. 

He elbows James in the arm to get him out of the way and reaches into the cupboard. 

James skips to the side and finally reveals the gift, holding it in front of his chest. Regulus loads the cups into the cupboard, lining them up in a neat row. He sees James bite his lip nervously out of the corner of his eye. 

“I have something for you,” James raises his chin high, brown eyes boring into Regulus fervently. Regulus swears he can see them flicker to his lips and then back up, but he could be hallucinating. 

Yeah, that’s far more likely. 

“You don’t say,” Regulus gestures at the envelope. “I did not see that one coming.” 

James chuckles, his foot tapping on the floor anxiously. “Listen, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to.” 

“Go?” Regulus’ brow furrows. “Go where?” 

“Just take it.” James hands him the envelope. 

Regulus takes the envelope and his fingers brush on James’ hand. He feels goosebumps rise on the back of his neck. James pulls his hand away in haste.

“Tell me if it’s too much, or if I crossed a line here somewhere. I am not so good at judging boundaries sometimes.” 

Regulus feels excitement and dread coil up in his stomach. He rips the envelope open, eyes darting to James just before he pulls out two thick pieces of paper with a British Airlines logo stamped on the front and the destination written in bold, black letters. Treviso Airport, Venice.   

Regulus sucks in a breath. “You got me tickets to Italy?” 

“Yes,” James works hard to disguise the tremble in his voice. “You’ve been talking about it forever, how you missed it so much, and how Uncle Alphard had been in Venice for months and you’ve not had a chance to go. And I don’t know, I just thought… It would be a nice gesture. And the other ticket is for a friend, you can take anyone. Maybe Panda, or Barty?” 

“I don’t know what to say,” Regulus looks up. James is still spooked, waiting for the other shoe to drop. As if it’s inevitable that Regulus would snap at him, denounce the gift and chide James for being silly and presumptuous. 

Meantime, Regulus thinks that even if James gave him a bag of dirt, he’d be over the moon. 

Tickets to Italy beat that bag of dirt on the head. Regulus is nothing but appreciative of every little sliver of affection he gets from him, and James’ consternation makes it so much sweeter. He cares, deeply, and desperately needs Regulus to like the gift. It’s painfully obvious. Regulus gloats, a fuzzy, warm feeling pushing against his ribcage. He thinks his heart grows in size just from looking at James’ hopeful expression and shining eyes.  

Regulus reaches out and places a hand on James’ shoulder, squeezing lightly. His fingers tingle at the touch.  

“This is very thoughtful,” he says, being as bold as to stroke his thumb over James’ shoulder. “I’ve wanted to do this for ages, and now I have no excuse to delay it. Thank you, truly.” 

James slumps in relief. “I’m so glad you like it. I did my research before buying it. I had to trick Sirius into giving me your uni schedule, and I made sure with Panda you have no other plans on these days.” 

Regulus checks the date. End of May, right after his exams. James is right, it’s a perfect time to go. 

He’s been craving to get away, more than anything, especially since he’d cut ties with his immediate family and rekindled his relationship with Alphard. His indecisiveness and fear of commitment made him stall this trip for months. He recalls mentioning it to James one night when they were having a drink on the patio, while Sirius and Remus played footie in the back garden. 

“I love it, really,” Regulus assures him once more. James preens, an exultant smile dancing on his full lips. 

His hand is still resting on James’ shoulder. He retracts it, reluctantly, letting it fall to his side.

“I’m so glad,” James shakes his head and lets out a puff of air that tickles Regulus’ cheek. Regulus realises how close they’re standing. He feels a shiver run down his spine and takes a step back, wiping his clammy palms on his shirt. 

“Did you like the gift that Sirius got you?” James asks. 

“Oh,” Regulus perks up and places the envelope in his jeans pocket. “I haven’t opened it yet. I can do that now.” 

“No, wait for Sirius!” James waves his hand. “I mean, do what you want, it’s your gift. I just think Sirius would like to see you open it.” 

“I don’t think he will mind. He told me you helped him choose,” Regulus snickers and picks up the package from the countertop.

“He did?” James winces. “Honestly, it was his idea, but he can be a bit of a scatterbrain. I made sure he didn’t fuck it up, that’s all.” 

“That’s Sirius, always the scatterbrain,” Regulus says while unwrapping the green paper. “I have an inkling as to what this could be and…” 

His words die on his lips when a book title peeks from under the ripped paper. 

The Call of the Wild. By Jack London. 

His favourite childhood book. The tome looks ancient, the binding haggard and worn out. It smells like old paper, dust, and ink. Regulus cracks the book open, his eyes frantically searching for the publication date. 

“It’s the first edition,” James answers his silent question. 

The year of publication is indeed 1903. 

“Is he insane?”  Regulus traces his fingers on the yellowish pages. “This must have cost him thousands!” 

“I don’t think Sirius really thought about the money,” James shrugs. “He struggled to remember if it was this one, or White Fang, but I remembered you mentioned this was the book you read over and over again when you were a kid…” 

“Oh, fuck me!” Regulus hugs the book to his chest. His eyes prickle with tears. 

James goes beet-read and stammers out, “You okay?” 

“Yeah, I am, it’s just that I can’t believe he did this…” Regulus huffs out and grinds his teeth. 

“But you’re happy… And angry?” 

“I’m not angry,” Regulus rubs his forehead. “It’s so Sirius, isn’t it? He didn’t remember which book it was, but still decided to spend thousands on it regardless.” 

“I was pretty sure it was this one…” James adds quietly. 

“Thank you for hand-holding my brother through this,” Regulus lets out a stifled laugh and strokes the spine of the book fondly. 

“My pleasure.” Their eyes meet. James has moved surprisingly close, again. 

Regulus swallows, eyes flickering to James’ lips. He’s keenly aware that James tracks his every movement and catches him in the act. James' mouth parts slightly. Regulus can smell his cologne again, wafting in the air and shrouding his mind, stripping him of better senses. 

Before Regulus gets a chance to act, the door to the kitchen slams open and Barty stumbles in, gym bag slung over his shoulder. 

He comes to a sudden halt when he notices James, standing chest-to-chest with Regulus. 

“What are you doing here?” Barty barks out, brows furrowed. James winces and takes a step back. 

“Jesus, chill out,” Regulus cuts in. “He’s here for my birthday.”

“You invited him?” Barty scowls. 

“What's up your ass?” James snaps back, eyes narrowing. 

“James, can you leave us for a moment?” Regulus grinds his teeth, staring daggers at Barty. 

“Sure,” James gives him a concerned look but leaves promptly, directing his steps towards the living room. “Join me when you’re ready. Nice seeing you Barty, as always.” 

Barty flings the gym bag to the floor. 

“What the heck was that?” Regulus points at the door James disappeared through a second ago. “Why are you being a dick for no reason?” 

“Why is he here?” Guilt and anger mix on Barty’s face in equal measure, but he decided to express the latter, and Regulus can’t contain his own annoyance anymore. 

“Cause I want him to be here!” he says in a raised voice. “My brother invited him and I said yes, do you have a problem with that? I was under the impression it was my birthday and I get to decide who to spend it with.” 

Barty deflates, a flicker of hurt running through his face.

“Yeah… I know it is,” he acquiesces and turns away to stare at a wall blankly. “It’s just… You said we would spend the evening together, you, me and Panda. I didn’t know other folk were invited.” 

“Oh,” Regulus straightens up, eyes softening. Barty looks genuinely disappointed. “You’re right, I did… Sirius came along in the morning to wish me a happy birthday and suggested we invite the rest. The plan stays the same, we’re going to watch a movie, maybe have a drink. Nothing’s changed. ” 

Barty nods and rubs the bridge of his nose, sighing. “Yeah… Sorry, I guess. I just didn’t expect him to be here.” 

“Um…” Regulus tilts his head, sending Barty a probing look. “Do you have a problem with James?” 

“No,” Barty responds, too quickly and far too expressively. “I just thought it would be the three of us.” 

“Don’t we do that pretty much every night?” Regulus disputes. “Just sit around, the three of us?”

“Well, yeah, but I thought that’s what you wanted.” 

“I did,” Regulus admits. He picks up the book from the counter and presses it to his chest. He hears the tickets rustle in his back pocket. “I changed my mind. I want to spend this birthday with my brother. This is the first one I get to share with him since I left the Black manor, you know.” 

“Reggie,” Barty lets out a ragged breath and passes him on his way to the sink to pour himself a glass of water. “It’s your day, do whatever you want. I’m sorry, I don’t know what bit me. I admit, I was being an arse.” 

“It’s fine,” Regulus pats him on the back. “We’ll still get to spend the night together.” 

Barty gives him a contrived smile.

“Sure thing. Did you choose a film already? Let me guess, Moulin Rouge?” 

Regulus chuckles and bends down to rub his forehead on Barty’s shoulder affectionately. Barty smiles and cards his hands through his hair, pulling him in for a crushing hug. 

“Happy birthday,” Baty murmurs and Regulus melts into the hug.

“Thanks.” 

“Ready for your present?” Barty gives him a wink and he pulls out a tiny box from his jeans’ pocket. 

Regulus swipes the box from his proffered hand. 

“Always. It’s a ring, isn’t it?” he smirks and weighs the box in his hand. 

“Yes, I’m finally proposing, if you couldn't tell.” 

⦽⦽⦽⦽

By the time Sirius strolls back into the flat, a tote filled with beers and crisps packets hanging off his arm (and Remus hanging off the other), Regulus and Barty join James in the living room and snug up on the couch together. 

Regulus loves that couch. It’s preposterously big. 

He’s squeezed between James and Barty. They’re roughly a head taller than him, towering over his slender figure even when seated. Regulus is bracketed between them, feeling safe and content, if a bit fidgety. 

Barty sits to the left, hugging the couch armrest with an indiscernible frown on his face. James sits to Regulus’ right. 

Regulus can’t be sure it’s purposeful, but James sprawls, letting his legs fall open wide, thigh snug against Regulus’. It’s a burning reminder of their proximity, a constant presence at the back of Regulus’ frazzled mind. He can feel his poor heart thumping in his chest. 

James emanates a certain degree of warmth that threatens to burn a hole through layers of fabric that separate them. Regulus itches to scratch the tingle off his skin but doesn’t. He’s worried if he starts fidgeting, James will take that as a signal to move away. 

Their elbows bump when Regulus dares to lean to his right.  

James sneaks a glance in his direction, a sly smirk on his lips. Regulus feels lightheaded. James is blatant in his actions, Regulus thinks. There’s no way it’s accidental. His rational mind fights tooth and nail to stop him from coming to premature conclusions, but it’s hard to disregard the signs. 

James stretches on the couch and yawns, rolling his shoulders, advertently pushing their arms flush together. 

“Reggie, we got all the stuff you wanted.” Sirius barges into the room with a tray full of snacks and Remus in tow. 

“Hi, baby Black,” Remus winks at him. Regulus is too absorbed in soaking up James’ warmth to protest the despised nickname. 

“Hi,” he nods but doesn’t get out of his seat. 

“Happy birthday!” Remus outstretches his arms expectantly, and Regulus winces.

“I’m not getting up,” he murmurs, sinking deeper into the couch. “Sorry, I’m not big on hugs. But thank you for the wishes.” 

“Oh, that’s all right,” Remus snickers and gives Sirius a pointed look. 

Sirius scratches his head and shrugs. “Hi, Prongs!” he plops down on the couch armrest next to James, his legs swinging to the rhythm of the tune Barty put on before they came in. “When did you get here?”

“Half an hour ago,” James turns to Sirius. Regulus feels his thigh muscles flex and he has to stifle a moan. He sucks on his teeth and exhales loudly instead. He’s going to pop a boner any second now. 

Regulus is dimly aware of Barty's stormy gaze that keeps locking on him whenever he moves.

“Regulus, you seemed a bit squashed, want to move here?” Barty gestures towards the gaping space to his right. 

“I’ll take that!” Sirius bounces to his feet and to Regulus’ chagrin, forces his ass between them.

Remus laughs and sits in the massive armchair that’s placed at a perfect angle to the TV. 

Regulus rolls his eyes and Sirius pinches his cheeks fondly. 

“Stop it!” Regulus seethes and swats his hand away, and James snickers.

“Prongs, did you give him your gift?” Sirius leans forward and stares at James intently.

“You’re so nosy,” Regulus complains. “You have to know what it is, don’t you?” 

“You bloody know I do!” Sirius huffs and wiggles his ass on the couch, almost dislodging Regulus from his seat. “He wouldn’t fucking tell me, the great friend that he is!” 

“Idiot,” Regulus adds but pulls the tickets from his back pocket and hands them over. 

Sirius’ jaw drops when his eyes scan the logo and he recognises the airport name. 

“No way!” he waves the tickets at Remus. “James got him two tickets to Venice, can you believe that?” 

Remus whistles and raises his thumbs at James, who beams at him and bows. “Nice one, Prongs. What gave you the idea?” 

“This is so much better than my gift!” Sirius shouts over them and Regulus scrunches his nose in displeasure. He wants James to rehash the tale again and admit in front of everyone that, somehow, he knows Regulus better than he knows himself. That he knows Regulus needs a gentle nudge to finally bite the bullet and visit his uncle for the first time since his disinheritance and their reconciliation. 

“Your gift was lovely,” Regulus turns to Sirius, deciding to take the high road. He looks his brother in the eye, while his thigh is still firmly pressed into James’.

He has to actively think about not getting hard. Locking eyes with Sirius definitely helps. He’s able to muster enough control not to sprout a semi while lodged between his brother and his best friend. At the same time, Regulus wishes that Sirius would just fuck off and sit in Remus’ lap. He’d suffer having to witness that, just so that he could comfortably rub his foot on James’ and happily let all the blood drain south. One of the couch pillows would do nicely as an impromptu disguise. 

He should feel more conflicted about getting all worked up with his brother in the same room, but he’s beyond caring. If this is all he gets from James, he'll take it and beg for more. 

Maybe he can make himself come just by rubbing their thighs together and breathing in James’ inebriating smell. His mind harkens back to last night, when he came all over the shower wall with two fingers up his ass and a mental image of James on his knees, licking into him and around his fingers. 

The steady stream of water washed the come stains off the wall and Regulus hadn’t thought of it since. He decided long ago to stop tormenting himself every time he wanked over James, otherwise, he’d have to walk around with his head perpetually hung low. It was time to pull himself by the bootstraps and accept that his attraction to James was an inevitable and intrinsic part of his everyday life. 

James doesn’t need to know. 

Regulus toys with the idea that maybe James would like to. The way he spreads his legs, almost invitingly, makes Regulus wonder. His fingers itch to reach over and stroke the inside of his thighs. Regulus dares to think he would, if they were alone. 

Sirius barks out a laugh and says something that he doesn’t fully register. Regulus jerks up and shakes his head to chase away the intrusive thoughts. It’s all wishful thinking, he decides there and then. He won’t believe it until he sees the undeniable proof. This could be nothing. It could be his wild imagination playing tricks on him, a fickle fancy that distorts James’ innocent behaviour into something it was never meant to be. 

He’s terrified of putting his foot in his mouth and ruining the tenuous friendship that had blossomed between them in the last year. It’s too precious a thing to risk, and Regulus is a coward by his own admission. 

Sirius breaks him out of his reverie by shaking his arms, eyes full of unadulterated hope. 

“Was it the right one? Was it The Call of the Wild, or The White Fang? I could have sworn it was the White Fang!” 

“It was The Call of the Wild!” Regulus and James say in unison and look at each other, smiling shyly. Regulus' heart does a backflip. He scratches his nose to hide his dopey smile. 

Sirius exhales loudly. “Thank god for James then, I almost spent ten grand on the wrong book.” 

“Jesus Christ, Sirius!” Regulus punches him in the arm. “That’s far too much money. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, the book is lovely, but please, next time, get me a box of chocolates. Or make something. I know how much you love to crochet, make me a tablecloth. I’d be grateful all the same.” 

Barty snickers and Sirius growls and narrows his eyes. “It’s an ancient art, and it’s not easy. You could learn something that requires a bit of finesse, instead of just ramming your stick into the puck, hoping it passes the goalie.” 

“You play hockey, you dick!” Barty points an accusatory finger at Sirius. 

“And I crochet as well!” 

“Right,” Regulus nudges Sirius in the ribs and gives Barty a scolding look. “Cut it out. I propose you all shut the hell up. I’m going to put the movie on now. Sirius, make me a drink. None of those stinking beers you brought, I want an actual drink.” 

“Negroni?” James whispers, smirking, and Regulus snaps his mouth shut. 

“Since you know his order so well, why don’t you make it?” Sirius grumbles. 

“Sure,” James jumps off the couch and Regulus misses his warmth. Before James heads for the kitchen, he nods at him and says, “Keep this seat for me, will you, Reg?” 

“Sure,” Regulus coughs into his fist. A feeble attempt at masking the tremble in his voice.

By the time James comes back with his drink and a bottle of beer for himself, the film had already started. James plops on the couch, right by Regulus’ side, and immediately presses his thigh into Regulus’. 

Regulus sighs and pulls one of the couch pillows into his lap. 

They chatter over the film and sing along to some of the songs, while Regulus nurses his Negroni and basks in the warmth of James’ body. The light outside fades ridiculously early, so they put on the fairy lights, adding a pleasant hue to the room and lulling Regulus into a false sense of calm and security. Maybe not false but a risky one. His head tilts to the side, almost resting on James’ shoulder. 

He could have sworn he saw James adjust himself and prop his shoulder higher, as if he were awaiting to receive Regulus’ swaying head in the crook of his neck. Regulus fantasises about nuzzling into the skin there and breathing in the faint smell of his cologne.  

Regulus licks his lips and downs the last of his drink. The ice cubes jingle in the glass. 

“One more?” James asks softly. 

“I’m good,” Regulus hums contently. “I don’t feel like drinking much tonight.” 

“No worries,” James finishes off his drink and puts the bottle on the coffee table. He stretches his arm and reaches behind Regulus’ head, resting it on the back of the couch. 

Regulus perks up. He can feel the tip of his head brush on the soft skin of James’ inner arm. He sucks in a sharp breath and presses his thigh into James’, hard.  

James twitches in his seat and glances at Sirius, who’s slurping his drink, eyes glued to the screen, completely oblivious. 

The front door slams open and a second later, Pandora struts into the living room, eyes sparkling with mirth, and Lily Evans enters right after her. 

Regulus shrinks into his seat. 

“Reggie!” Pandora flings herself onto the couch, almost sitting in his lap, and closes her arms around him in a crushing hug. “Happy birthday, dear! I’m so sorry I’m late! The traffic was horrendous!” 

“It’s fine,” Regulus mumbles and swallows around a clump of blond hair. Pandora chuckles and places a sloppy kiss on his cheek. 

Regulus winces and wipes the saliva off his face. “Disgusting,” he pushes her off his lap. Pandora lands gracefully on the floor, still giggling. 

“Hi, troops!” Lily salutes them and gives James a nod. James waves at her but his eyes don’t linger. He doesn’t remove his arm from the back of the couch. “I’m sorry to crash the party, but Panda invited me over when we found out you’re all here. Reg, hope that’s alright with you?” 

“Yeah, of course,” Regulus says coldly, eyes trained on Lily. “Why would I mind?” 

“It’s your birthday, I’m being polite,” Lily drags a chair from the kitchen into the living room and sits in front of the TV. “Also, I didn’t bring a gift. I promise to make amends later.” 

“It’s fine, really,” Regulus wishes he still had some of his drink left so he could occupy his hands with something. “We’re watching Moulin Rouge, but we’re halfway through. Have you seen it before?” 

“Yes, James made me watch it at least twice,” Lily answers and James winces visibly. “Heard it’s your favourite film.” 

“Oh,” Regulus says dumbly. “I guess it is. I didn’t know you liked it too, James.” 

“Oh, it’s all right,” James mumbles and adjusts in his seat, his thigh rubbing on Regulus’ leg so deliciously that Regulus chokes on his own saliva. Lily eyes them both while absentmindedly jabbing her hand into the bowl of crisps she placed in her lap. “I like this part.” 

“This song?” Regulus straightens in his seat and fully turns his attention to James. “I love this song, it’s my absolute favourite!” 

“I know, it’s really powerful. The tango mixed in with Ewan McGregor's lines. You can feel the jealousy and despair just seeping into your soul. You can really relate to it, don’t you think?” 

Barty scoffs from his end of the couch. Everyone gives him a quizzical look. 

“What?” he asks innocently. 

“You don’t think it’s a good song?” Regulus asks. 

“I didn’t say that.” 

“Right,” Regulus scrunches his nose. “So what was that?” 

“What was what?” 

“Leave him be,” Pandora rolls her eyes and drags another chair over. She sits next to Lily and gives her a soft smile, before diving in to grab a handful of crisps from Lily’s bowl. 

“There are drinks in the kitchen, help yourself,” James encourages. His words reach Regulus’ ears but he’s focused on James' socked foot, resting comfortably right against his. He must have moved it when Regulus was not paying attention, most likely distracted by Lily’s abrupt appearance. 

Regulus is well aware she and James are no longer an item. It’s been months by this point, but he still feels dejected and self-conscious in her company. She intimidates and perplexes him. He struggles to figure out what makes her tick. She is unpredictable and therefore, dangerous. 

But above all, he can’t comprehend why she broke up with James. 

He is eternally grateful that she had, but it makes him trust her even less and doesn’t stop him from perceiving her as direct competition for James’ affection. 

He has a jealous streak and doesn’t do much to contain it. He’s allowed to get possessive in the privacy of his own mind. No one’s going to know and judge him there. Aside from himself, that is.

Regulus ceases to pay attention to the chatter and focuses on the film. To his delight, James also appears completely enthralled. They finish the movie and the evening continues to unfold. His worries that the humble gathering would turn into a full-blown party are quelled by the time the clock strikes seven. Everyone just meanders about, no one gets outrageously drunk. His brother’s voice gets a bit slurred but he remains surprisingly subdued. He makes his way over to Remus and situates himself in his lap, just as Regulus predicted he would. Pandora takes his place and starts chatting avidly with Barty about her plans for the New Year Party they were hoping to throw. 

James remains at his side throughout the night, always close. Regulus feels glorious. He switches booze for tea and while the little rabble surrounding him tattles on, he relaxes against James’ arm. He’s content, buoyant even. Savouring the moment he knows would come to an inevitable end. 

By eight, Lily and Remus start gathering their things, which includes Sirius. He hangs off Remus' shoulder, eyes half-lidded and a loud yawn escaping his gaping mouth. 

“I think we’re going to be off, Reggie,” Remus herds them over to the couch. “Happy birthday again, baby Black. Hope this year proves to be even better than the last.” 

“I’m sure it will,” Regulus smiles fondly at his brother and begrudgingly lifts himself off the couch. 

Sirius hugs him and murmurs his wishes into his ear. Regulus lets out a shaky breath and squeezes Sirius’ arm. 

“Thanks,” he whispers when they part, and Sirius gives him an exhausted smile. 

“I’m sorry I’m being such a party pooper,” he adds and follows with another yawn. “I don’t think I slept more than two hours last night, courtesy of our lovely mother.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Regulus winces. “Thanks for organising this, and thanks for sticking to your word and not turning this into a rager.” 

“No worries, little brother.” 

Sirius turns to James. “You coming, Prongs?” 

“I think I’m going to stay a bit longer,” James raises his mug. “I need to finish my tea.” 

“Okay, weird,” Sirius shrugs and nuzzles his face into the crook of Remus’ neck. “Right, let’s get home before I fall over.” 

They leave and Lily follows suit. Pandora walks her to the front door. 

Regulus, Barty, and James are left in the room together. TV is blaring an irksome ad jingle and Barty is scrolling through his phone with a bored expression. Regulus is still glued to James’ side. There’s plenty of space to his left but Regulus doesn’t dare to move. 

Barty raises his head and spares them a tired look, something akin to worry flicking over his face. 

Regulus winces in his direction and jerks his head to the side, eyes darting to the door. 

“What?” Barty mouths and narrows his eyes.   

Regulus motions his head at the door again, giving him another pointed look. 

Can you please excuse yourself and leave? 

He tries to penetrate Barty’s thick skull with the sheer power of his mind and silently communicate his intentions, but Barty just stares at him blankly. 

Pandora walks back into the room, stands behind the couch and ruffles Regulus’ hair fondly. 

“Reggie?” she chirps. “Do you mind if I go out with Lily? I know it’s your birthday, but I also know you pretty well and I bet you’ve had enough excitement for the day.” 

Regulus lets out a relieved laugh. “Sure, Panda. Go out and have a blast. I’m going to turn in early.” 

“Just as I thought,” Pandora places a soft kiss on the top of his head. “Barty, you coming?” 

“Out with you and Lily?” Barty jeers. “And why would I do that?” 

“I don’t know,” Pandora hums. “I’m being polite.” 

“No need for that,” Barty turns his eyes back to the phone screen. “I’m perfectly content where I am right now.” 

Regulus rubs the bridge of his nose and exhales loudly. He envies James and Sirius and their inexplicable ability to communicate through looks and simple touches. He’d witnessed them have full conversations with no words exchanged. 

He always deemed his bond with Barty to be of equal strength, but maybe he was mistaken. Something to work on in the future. 

Pandora is gone, but Barty remains seated, still scrolling aimlessly through his phone. 

“Barty, James and I might want to watch another movie. Do you mind?” Regulus makes a feeble attempt at speaking in code. James lifts his head and gives him a curious look. 

“Yeah, sounds lovely,” he chimes in. His arm slides off the back of the couch, his skin tickling the back of Regulus' neck. Regulus feels a full-bodied shiver run down his back and almost bites through his tongue. 

“We’re going to just stay here if you have nothing against us hogging the living room?” 

Barty grimaces and pushes his phone into his jeans pocket. Regulus can see a vein popping on his neck. 

“Do whatever you want, I couldn’t give a shit,” he hisses and glues his eyes back to the TV, his fingers tapping on his thigh restlessly. 

Regulus tenses up. “Do you… Want to stay and watch it with us?” 

“Reggie,” Barty gives him an incredulous look. “If you want me to fuck off, just say so.” 

Regulus recoils and turns away, penitent. James bristles, eyes snapping to Barty. 

“That’s not what he’s trying to say,” he disputes, and Regulus feels a pang of guilt. That’s exactly what I’m trying to say.

“Oh, don’t be so quick to come to his rescue.” 

“Why are you being such a dick?” James straightens up and narrows his eyes at Barty. “You’ve been prickly all day long. I don’t think this is the best time for acting up. You could at least leave it till the next day, when his birthday is over. You only have a couple of hours to go.” 

“James,” Regulus tries to chime in but Barty’s raised voice drowns him out. 

“And why are you so quick to jump in and fight his battles? He can speak for himself, can’t he? You’re constantly inserting yourself into our conversations.” 

James opens his mouth but Regulus beats him to the punch. 

“Stop it!” he turns to Barty, fuming. “Stop talking over me, both of you -” 

“You know what, fuck you both,” Barty doesn’t let him finish and rises to his feet. The couch gives out a pitiful creak and dips to the right under James and Regulus’ combined weight. “I’m exhausted anyway, let me just go to my room so that I don’t intrude on whatever this is.” 

Regulus falters. Barty can be a right cunt if he so desires, but Regulus is rarely the object of his ire. He’s the silent observer, and at times, the intermediary who has to get in the way when things get ugly. 

He doesn’t know how to respond. Not with James glued to his side, ready to jump to his feet and fight his aforementioned battles. He feels him twitch by his side. 

“Don’t,” Regulus hisses and grabs James by the wrist. James tenses up but stays put as told. 

Barty storms out of the room in silence. It’s just the two of them now. Alone. 

Finally. 

Regulus lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. The jabbing pain in his chest starts to dissipate. 

“What is wrong with him?” James is seething. “Reg, why do you let him treat you like that?” 

“He’s not like this, not usually,” he comes to Barty’s defence, as any good friend would. “He was also correct. I was trying to suggest he leaves.” 

“That doesn’t give him the right to act like that. He’s meant to be your best friend. Or do I have it all wrong and it’s Pandora who’s lucky enough to call herself that?” 

“Yes, he is… They both are,” Regulus sighs and reaches over to grab the remote. “I really don’t know what bit him. I will talk him off the ledge tomorrow.” 

“I’m sorry if I spoke out of turn,” James adds. “I really didn’t like the way he spoke to you.” 

“It’s fine,” Regulus, in a fit of bravery, squeezes James’ wrist and smooths his thumb over it. James clears his throat and Regulus sees his fingernails bite into the fabric of his jeans. 

He smirks to himself while flicking through the channels.

“Do you want to watch a film?” Regulus asks. “I can make you another tea so you have a reason to stay?” 

James chuckles and drinks the rest of his tea in one gulp. 

“You’ve twisted my arm. I’ll stay for one more cuppa.” 

“Sure,” Regulus lifts off the couch and slips into the kitchen to put the kettle on. He ruffles through the cupboard and finds James’ favourite fruity tea. Apple and mint flavour. He bought it purely to have it handy when James comes over. 

“Pathetic,” he mutters under his breath, pouring the hot water into their mugs. 

He walks back into the living room with two fresh teas and a spring in his step. He sits down on the couch, wilfully ignoring all the space on his left and slithers back under James’ outstretched arm. 

“What do you want to watch then, birthday boy?” James nudges him in the shoulder. The gesture seems innocent enough, but Regulus can feel his body twisting to accommodate him, the arm on the back of the couch slipping lower. 

One more move and it will be resting on Regulus’ nape. He can feel James’ sweet breath tickle his cheek. 

“Dunno,” Regulus shrugs. “What’s your favourite film?” 

“You must know that,” James let out an indignant laugh. 

“It’s something really nerdy, or really stupid, isn’t it?” Regulus takes a stab in the dark.

“I guess you’re right,” James admits with a wide smile. He’s shifted closer once more, Regulus realises. When he slumps forward the tip of his nose almost brushes Regulus’ cheek. 

A strange shiver runs through him, anticipation mixed with agitation. Butterflies in his stomach, flapping their colourful wings. Regulus is an anxious person by nature, but this is not the type of fear he experiences often. This is new and rousing. Electrifying. The air around them cracks, loaded with the promise of the unknown they seem to be hurtling towards. 

Regulus realises all he has to do to seal their lips is turn and reach out. 

He isn’t bold enough. Words were his weapons of choice, but the physical touch was not one of them. He lets James probe and push. He wants to make sure that whatever’s holding them back, the invisible line still drawn between them, dissolves into nothingness before he makes his move.  

The line is barely there, Regulus thinks, keenly aware of the mere inches of distance that separate their faces.  

“So, what is it? Your favourite film?” 

“It’s Lord of the Rings,” James admits sheepishly. “Don’t laugh.”

“Why would I?” Regulus asks. James is so close, the warmth emanating from his skin is almost too vehement to endure. “All three are great movies, but we’re not watching the extended edition right now.” 

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” James laughs softly right into his ear and Regulus bites his lip, drawing blood. “Actually, we can just chat and enjoy the tea. What do you say?” 

“Sounds lovely,” Regulus slurps his hot tea, burning his tongue. It feels nice. It gives him something to focus on, aside from James. 

“In that case, can I ask you something?” 

“Yeah?” Regulus feels bold enough to finally turn his head and return James’ burning gaze. 

They’re not close enough for their lips to touch. But if Regulus wanted to, he could easily lunge forward and capture James’ mouth in a searing kiss. 

He could, but he feels he still runs the risk of James rejecting him. Somewhere, deep down, he’s hesitant. He’s not ready for the leap of faith that could end in the world burning and crushing around him. 

James’ breath ghosts over his lips when he finally makes his question known. 

“Is there anything between you and Pandora?” 

“What?” Regulus jerks in his seat and, regrettably, moves away from James in the process. “Where is this coming from?” 

“I don’t know,” James shrugs, looking sheepish. “You’re just very touchy-feely with each other.” 

“She’s touchy-feely,” Regulus grouches. “I tolerate it.” 

“Right, sorry,” James smirks. “Sorry if this was too personal a question. I always wondered.” 

“There’s nothing between us, and there never will be,” Regulus admits. 

“Why is that? She’s pretty hot.” 

Regulus huffs. “Well, let’s just say she’s not my type.” 

James rubs his nose with his free hand. His other arm falls lower, now resting lightly on Regulus’ nape. 

Regulus struggles to make his mouth work. “I’m surprised you’d even think that. Didn’t Sirius tell you?” 

“Tell me what?” James inquires in a low, sultry tone. 

“I’m gay,” Regulus admits quietly, but James only smirks. “You don’t look surprised.” 

“I had my suspicions,” he says candidly. 

“Oh, did you, now?” Regulus drawls, eyes narrowing. “And why is that? Do I act gay?” 

“No,” James laughs and shakes his head. “I just thought that might be the case. Sirius said something that would suggest it, but he wasn’t specific enough. I thought you might be pan or bi.” 

“Right,” Regulus does a brave thing and moves his leg further to the right, placing his big toe snugly against the sole of James’ foot. It must tickle, he thinks and smiles to himself. 

This time there’s no denying the deliberateness of his action, and James takes notice. His eyes dart down, latching onto the couch cushion sitting firmly in Regulus’ lap. 

“This is an interesting line of questions. What made you bring it up?” Regulus dares to ask.

“I’m just curious,” James says. His eyes flicker to Regulus’ mouth. “Nothing much behind it.” 

Regulus darts out his tongue, leaving a streak of saliva on the bottom lip. James swallows.

Regulus chews on his lip. “Why don’t I believe you?” 

“Believe what you want,” James responds, keeping up the pretence. 

Regulus’ patience is wearing thin. 

“James,” he starts, and James leans forward, listening intently. “What is it that you want to know?” 

“So, you’re not seeing Pandora, that one is clear,” James gives in. “But I guess I’m wondering if there’s anyone else that grabs your fancy? I’m intrigued. Men must be flinging themself at you left, right, and centre.” 

Regulus burst out laughing. “You're kidding, right?” 

“No,” James pouts. “I’m being serious.” 

“You’re being James, you can’t be Sirius,” Regulus says before he can stop himself. 

“Oh, that was terrible,” James chuckles and then, he drops his head lower and brushes the tip of his nose on Regulus’ shoulder. 

Regulus's mind goes haywire. He rearranges the pillow in his lap surreptitiously. 

“That was such an easy target, it had to be done.” He’s grasping at straws. James doesn’t let him stray far.    

“So, men don’t fling themselves at you?” He puts them back on track with the confidence of a man who’s never been denied a thing, certainly not a straight answer. 

“Not literally.” Regulus minces his words. “I have had some interest. But it’s not been easy. I led a pretty sheltered life till I left home, and that was only a year ago.” 

“I know,” James says, his expression solemn. “Sorry, am I prying too much?” 

“No, it’s fine,” Regulus assures him. 

James is staring at him with something akin to wonder in his eyes. 

“So, there’s no one you’re currently seeing?” he pries, undeterred.  

“No, there is not.” A warm tingle spreads over Regulus’ prickling skin from where James’ arm tickles the back of his neck. “But I’m interested in someone.” 

He has no idea where that came from. He holds his breath, counting the seconds until James responds. 

“You are?” his face falls momentarily but he masks it quickly with a polite smile. “That’s great, Reg. How is that going? Are they interested?” 

“I don’t know,” Regulus whispers. “Maybe. I don’t know yet. But I’ve been getting these signals, and I’m trying to gauge if it’s worth the risk.” 

“They’d be fools to not want you back,” James says. 

Regulus feels the last of his resolve slip. He decides to be brave, for once in his short and miserable life. 

“I want to ask if he likes me back. I think he does, he’s being very nosy about my relationship status, asking all kinds of stupid questions,” Regulus can hear the tremble in his voice. It reverberates in his skull and makes his tongue taste bitter. His anxiety spikes through the roof when James’ eyes go wide and his breath hitches. He remains frozen, gaze trained on Regulus, awaiting his next words. 

“I think he’s trying to test the waters, but I need him to be sure before he makes the move,” Regulus continues.“ I need to know if he’s sure about this. I don’t think I can handle another rejection at this point.” 

Silence falls. James gapes at him, his breathing uneven, eyes glimmering in the golden light of the evening. 

“Oh, Reg, I’m sure. I don’t think I’ve ever been this sure of anything in my life.” 

“Wait,” Regulus stammers and puts his hand flat on James’ chest. “Do you understand what I’m asking?” 

“Yes, I do, I swear,” James whispers fervently and then reaches over, cupping his cheek in his warm hand, and before Regulus knows it, he’s being kissed by the one man he’s ever truly and desperately wanted. 

He’s lived this moment in his dreams over and over again, to the point he’s almost sure the reality could not compare. He is sorely mistaken. James doesn’t deepen the kiss straight away. He’s feeling him out, tongue swiping over his bottom lip, begging to be let in. And Regulus gives in, letting out a weak sound when their tongues touch and the warmth of the kiss tingles, making him shiver in James’ arm. 

“I got you,” James whispers into his open mouth. “I’m so sure.” 

Regulus’ hand finds purchase in his tangled hair and he pulls, harder than he intended, angling James towards him and deepening the kiss. James lets out a lewd sound and chokes on his spit, and Regulus leans into it, laughs fondly and swipes his tongue over his parted lips.  

“Come here,” James drags him closer and Regulus climbs onto his lap, the poor couch cushion sliding to the floor with a low thud. 

He collapses on top of James and grinds down, ravenously, sparks of pleasure firing off in his brain at the feeling of James’ cock trapped beneath him, hard and warm, even through a thick layer of fabric. 

James emanates such warmth that Regulus feels himself sweat from the sheer proximity. His cock is a steady weight against the inside of his thigh, and Regulus grinds down again. James cants his hips upwards, moaning into their sloppy kiss. 

“Reg,” he chokes out and pulls on his dark locks, grazing his parted lips over his jaw and chin. Regulus shivers but doesn’t subside, he keeps grinding down, lets out a stifled moan of his own, and James' eyes snap open. 

“Do that again,” he begs, pupils wide and black. 

“Do what?” Regulus licks into his mouth and hums. He dares to bite his lip, relishing in James’ pained hiss and the hands clenching on his hips, nails biting into the strip of skin above his belt. 

“Make that sound,” James begs, hands sliding under the hem of his shirt, fingertips brushing over his spine. 

“I don’t know what you mean,” Regulus lets out an innocent laugh and then thrusts his hips forward, their cocks now aligned, the pressure unbearable. 

Regulus moans into James' mouth again, and that does it. 

James retreats and pushes away, persistently, almost lifting Regulus off his lap. 

“Fuck, stop,” James looks baffled and his eyes are hazy with lust, but Regulus catches the flicker of distress that runs over his face. 

Regulus halts and shrinks into himself. 

“Sorry,” he mumbles. “What did I do?” 

“Nothing,” James rushes to reassure him and pulls him back into his lap, his lips grazing the column of his throat, licking the sweat off the skin. “You didn’t do anything wrong, but I was about to come from you grinding on me like that, and letting out these little moans... Fuck .” 

Regulus feels lightheaded. He has to lean his forehead on James’, to let his ragged breathing even out.  

“Just from that?” he looks for reassurance. 

“Yes,” James laughs softly and then lunges forward, catches his bottom lip and sucks on it lightly. “You almost made me come, just like that. You have no idea what you’re doing to me, do you? What you’ve been doing to me for months now.” 

Regulus’ heart skips and then drops to his stomach. 

“Months?” he rasps. “I’ve wanted you for years.” 

“Fuck,” James repeats like a broken record. His hands wander lower, skimming the skin right under his belt. Regulus preens and resumes grinding his hips into his lap.

“Come on,” James gasps. “For years, I don’t believe it… Fuck, Regulus.” 

“Stop talking,” Regulus flushes with embarrassment and presses their mouths together. 

A deafening bang comes from a room above them. Breathing heavily, they separate and look up. 

“Barty’s room is right there,” Regulus whispers, pointing his head at the ceiling.  

“Right,” James clears his throat. Regulus can feel him shake, a full-body tremor. 

He stops and assesses. He’s sitting on top of James Potter, his hard cock pressing into his thigh. Regulus feels a rush of power. He savours it, relishes in the thought that if he grinds down again and traps James under his weight, he could push him over the edge and watch him disintegrate in his arms. All his, pliant and defenceless, coming on command. 

“Reg,” James strokes him on the hip and nudges him in the arm. “Should we…” 

“We can’t stay here,” Regulus finishes for him. “Come on.” 

“Fuck,” James lets out an incoherent grumble when Regulus jumps off him and grabs him by the wrist, pulling him to his feet. “What are we doing?” 

“We’re going to my room. Isn’t that obvious?” 

James tiptoes behind him. They sneak around the corner and into the hall. 

“Are you sure?” 

Regulus turns on his heel and pushes James against the wall, climbing on his toes to silence him with another fervid kiss. James melts in his grip and wraps his hands around his waist, almost lifting him off the ground. 

“I know I am,” Regulus breaks off eventually. “Are you?”

“Yes,” James purrs into his mouth and nips at the delicate skin under his ear. “I’d go anywhere with you. I can’t believe this is happening, holy shit -”

His knees wobble when James’ fingers start nudging at the hem of his trousers. 

“James,” he starts, head spinning. “Have you planned this?” 

“No,” James' eyes snap open. “No, this was not premeditated. I didn’t come here thinking I’d seduce you at your birthday party. It just happened, I guess. I just couldn’t -”

“Couldn’t what?” Regulus encourages him. 

“I couldn’t keep it in any longer.”

James places another kiss on his lips, sweet and slow this time.

“Come on,” Regulus taunts when James whines into the kiss and places his hands on his ass, driving his hips upward and over his still hard and aching cock. “If you’ve waited for so long, what’s another minute? That’s all it takes to get to my room.” 

They sprint upstairs, both drunk on the thrill of the moment, their fingers entwined as they run through the hall and past Barty and Evan’s rooms. 

They creep inside and Regulus closes the door with fervour, only to slam James’ back against the wood a moment later. 

“Reggie,” James mumbles into the crook of his neck. “What do you want? I’ll do anything. If you just want us to kiss, that’s fine. We can talk, we can think this through.” 

“What do you mean?” Regulus knits his brow and breaks off from James, his hands still pinning him to the door. “Do you not want to have sex?” 

James’s eyes glaze over. “Fuck, I do. I’m not going to lie, I want that more than anything. But we can take this slow. I don’t want to fuck it up.” 

Regulus is dazed and confused, his muddled brain weaving possible narratives for ways this could go terribly wrong. He has an inkling he’s doing something wrong here, he’s not being clear enough and James will inevitably misconstrue his actions and run away, slip through his fingers to never come back. 

“You won’t fuck it up. Right now all I want is for us to be close and touch, okay? Just for tonight, please, give me that.” 

James groans and starts trailing kisses down his neck. 

“And what is it that you want?” Regulus chokes out, bracing for the answer. 

“I will take whatever you have to offer. I want you in whatever way you’ll have me. But I want to make sure you know this is not just a one-off, I’m not just trying to fuck you, get my rocks off and then pretend that never happened. I want to take you out, I want to spend time together, no Sirius or anyone else around. Do you... Do you want the same?” 

Regulus trusts him, more than he trusts himself. As the words spill out of James’ mouth, he finds that the last of his defences, the last of his lingering doubts, dissipate into nothingness, leaving only joy and elation in their place. 

“Let’s see how good you’re in bed first,” Regulus quips and regrets it immediately when James gives him a wounded look. 

“I’m joking. Yes, I want all that, and more. But now I want you to touch me. Is that okay?”

“Yes,” James pleads and then takes him straight to bed. 

They land on the plush covers in a tangle of limbs. James climbs on top, slipping between Regulus’ spread thighs, and presses his hard cock into his hip. Regulus sighs into his open mouth. 

They slot together so easily. As if they were made to fit together. Regulus wraps his legs around James’ hips and urges him on, heels digging into his back. 

James starts peppering his neck with kisses. He nudges at the hem of his shirt and starts pulling it off. He huffs loudly when it gets stuck around Regulus’ neck. Regulus giggles and when he emerges from under the fabric again, he’s smiling, cheeks red and pupils dilated. James comments on it, and Regulus squirms under his sweet and tender touch.   

“The things I want to do to you,” James whispers and rests his forehead on Regulus’ chest to catch his breath. His lips brush on his collarbone. 

“Tell me,” Regulus goads. His fingers trail patterns on James’ back, under his shirt and over his shoulder blades. He can feel the muscle flexing.  

“I want to take you apart. Kiss every part of you. I want to wrap my mouth around you and suck you off. Would you like that?” 

“I would,” Regulus gulps. A familiar spike of anxiety comes back to haunt him. He knows the moment to warn James is now, but he can’t make himself speak. “What else?” 

“I want to kiss the inside of your thigh and mark the skin there. I think I’d like that, seeing you marked. You’d wake up in the morning with the reminder of me between your legs, slowly fading. I’d mark you again, so it never goes away.” 

Regulus chokes on his saliva, tries to hide it but fails miserably. James laughs quietly into the flushed skin on his chest. 

“I want to kiss you everywhere. I want to fuck you with my tongue. I think you’d taste divine. Have you ever done that?” 

“Um,” Regulus stutters, feels himself go rigid. James pauses and lifts his head, gives him a worrisome glance. 

“Is that too much?” 

“No,” Regulus whispers. “It’s fine.” 

“Reg,” James climbs on his elbows and hovers over him, the tip of his nose brushing his cheek. “Please, tell me if it’s too much.” 

“It’s not too much, really. I’d like to do all these things.” 

“Yeah?” James beams at him and Regulus is so pleased with himself. The anxiety dissipates and he knows the moment is now. 

He has to get it out. He licks over his lips and kisses his teeth, stalling for time. “I have to tell you something first.” 

A flicker of doubt runs through James’ face. “What is it?” 

“I haven’t -,” Regulus minces his words. “I haven’t done this before.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I haven’t had sex before. This is the first time.” 

James hovers over him, mouth agape. 

“You’re joking?” he mumbles. Regulus panics. James doesn’t seem pleased. 

Regulus feels something shameful coil at the bottom of his stomach. He’s disappointed him. 

“We don’t have to… If this is not something you want to do anymore, we can forget about it.” 

“No!” James collapses on top of him again and kisses him fervently. Regulus twitches in his tight embrace, stunned by the sudden change in his demeanour. “I’m sorry, I’m just a bit shocked.” 

Regulus doesn’t know how to take it. 

“You’re shocked because I’m so hot it just boggles your mind how I could have stayed a virgin till the ripe age of twenty?” 

James bursts out laughing. “Yeah, something like that. Also, I had to gather myself for a moment there. You being a virgin is really hot.” 

It’s Regulus’ turn to laugh. “What?”

“Did I stutter? It’s hot as hell. Thinking that I could be the one to…” 

“Are we struggling there a bit?” Regulus quips. 

“Yeah, my brain is scrambled,” James snickers and places another wet kiss on his cheek. “The thought I’d be the first one to touch you like this, to put my mouth around you. To put my cock inside you.” 

Regulus shivers and bites on his tongue accidentally. The metallic taste of blood fills his mouth, but he savours it. It’s pleasant, exhilarating even. He feels faint and borderline delirious. 

“You have quite a mouth on you,” he says in a quiet voice. 

“Do you like it?” James grazes his teeth on the side of his neck and sucks on the skin gently. He’s going to leave a mark, Regulus thinks. He feels his cock fill in under James and dig into his hip tenaciously. James grinds down. 

“I love it.” 

“I can’t wait to come inside you,” James says. 

“Fuck,” Regulus swears and buries his face in James’ unruly hair. “Keep talking.” 

“Reggie,” James doesn’t stop trailing lazy kisses down his neck. “I’ll keep talking but answer me first. Do you have lube and condoms?” 

“Oh,” Regulus’ eyes snap open. “I have lube.” 

James snickers. “Do you, now? Interesting.” 

Regulus scoffs and pushes James off. He mourns the loss of pressure on his cock but if they’re going to eventually fuck, he’s got to get his priorities straight. 

“I might be a virgin but I’m no prude. Just last evening I fingered myself in the shower thinking about you fucking me open with your tongue.” 

James groans and collapses back onto the mattress, chest heaving. “Fucking hell, Reggie.” 

“What?” Regulus smirks and scrambles off the bed. He starts rummaging through his nightstand. He finds a half-full bottle of lube and chucks it onto the duvet. James picks it up and swirls it in his fingers, looking for the brand name.

“Strawberry flavoured?” he teases.

“Fuck off,” Regulus grumbles and picks up his discarded shirt. “It’s lube, it serves the purpose. Plus it tastes nice if I end up licking it off my fingers after.” 

“You’re killing me,” James groans and rubs his eyes. 

“Just don’t give up the ghost before you fuck me, alright?” 

“What?” James jerks his head to the side and gives him a quizzical look. 

“Giving up the ghost means to die.” 

“First time I hear that,” James shrugs. He furrows his brow when he sees Regulus pull the shirt back on. “Where are you going?” 

“I have lube, but I don’t have condoms. I know who does, though.” 

James stifles a laugh. “You’re going to ask Barty for condoms?” 

“Yeah,” Regulus can’t see any downsides to his genius plan. He knows Barty has a drawer chockful of condoms. He’s even stocked them up for him on occasion. The things one does for a friend. “He won’t mind. I think he still owes me for that box I bought him a month ago.” 

James squints and Regulus snickers, thoroughly entertained. “No need to be jealous. I was just doing him a favour. There’s nothing between us. And I literally just told you I’m a virgin.” 

“I know,” James scratches his nose and looks at him fondly. “I still think it’s hot as fuck. Go and get that condom and come back to me.” 

“You got it,” Regulus promises. 

He slips out of the room and crosses the hall. He knocks on Barty’s door. He brushes his fingers through his hair, trying to make himself presentable.

Only a measly condom stands in his way now. It’s hidden in Barty’s “sex drawer”, just on the other side of this door, waiting for Regulus to reach and pluck it out. He imagines himself pulling the condom on James’ cock and he has to swiftly rein in that train of thought when Barty swings the door open, face sullen and an ugly scowl spread on his face. 

“What?” he spits out.

“Did I wake you?” Regulus leans back. Barty is positively seething. 

“Don’t you worry, I couldn’t have fallen asleep if I wanted to,” Barty chews on his lip. “You were being so fucking loud.” 

“We…” Regulus hesitates. “I don’t think it’s that loud.” 

“Well, not now, it isn’t. But I could hear you downstairs.” 

“Right,” Regulus is getting peeved. “What’s your fucking problem now? I’ve had to suffer through listening to you bang some chick against the wall, or going down on some guy on the living room couch. In the middle of the fucking day, I might add.” 

“That’s different.” Barty bites back. 

“How is that different?” 

“Never mind,” Barty waves his hand. “What do you want?” 

“Can I borrow a condom?” He's proud of the level of confidence he’s able to project. 

Barty jaw drops. “You’re kidding me?” 

“No, I am not.” 

“You’re going to fuck him?” 

“Well, judging by the way things are going at the moment, it seems he’ll be doing the fucking.” 

Barty whines and hides his face in his hands. Regulus gives him a second to recuperate. 

“So, can I have the condom?” 

“I don’t have any,” Barty spits out, eyes flying open. Regulus scoffs. 

“You’re lying, I saw you buy a whole box two days ago. What the fuck is wrong with you today? You really don’t want me to score this badly? What is this, some kind of competition? You can’t suffer the thought of being in the proximity of people having sex, while not having someone to stick your dick into at the same time?” 

“Regulus,” Barty leans on the doorframe and signs. “Are you sure this is wise?” 

“Oh, don’t you dare! Are you trying to give me the talk?” 

“He’s your brother’s best friend!”

Regulus can’t comprehend where his visceral hatred for James comes from. Or is it a misguided protectiveness he’s developed over the years of their close-knit friendship? 

“So, what of it?” 

“You think Sirius is going to be happy about this? Think about what happens when this inevitably goes sideways.” 

Regulus bristles. “Fuck off, Barty! First, this is none of your business. I decide who I want to have sex with. It’s my decision, mine alone. And why do you think this is bound to go sideways?” 

“He’s going to fuck you and ditch you after, mark my words!” 

“That just proves how little you know him!” Regulus jumps to James’ defence, furious. “He would never do that!” 

“You’re delusional,” Barty is grasping the doorframe, knuckles going white. “If I give you the fucking condom, will you leave me alone?” 

“Yes, please,” Regulus grumbles. “I have had enough of you for one day.” 

Barty snorts and disappears back into the room. He emerges a second later and holds out a single condom in a shiny, silver wrapper. Regulus takes it from him with trembling fingers. 

“Just keep it quiet, I beg you,” Barty drops his chin on his chest. “I wish there was a goddamn spell to muffle the sounds, I swear.” 

Regulus examines the condom triumphantly. 

“Thanks,” he says, but Barty’s not listening to him. He turns on his heel and runs back into his room, the door slamming in his wake. 

Regulus skips back towards his room. James hasn’t moved from his comfy position on the bed, still splayed on his back. Regulus rakes his eyes over his body, feels his mouth water. 

“You’re back,” James says fondly. 

Regulus jumps on the bed and straddles his waist. James hums approvingly. He guides Regulus with his firm grip, making him rock forward and rub their cocks together through the fabric. Regulus smiles wickedly. 

“You’re still hard,” he croons and drags his fingers over James’ chest, his thumb stroking over the nipples. While he was away, James discarded his shirt, and Regulus follows suit. He chucks it to the ground and cants his hips again, forcing a quiet moan from James’ parted lips. 

“I kept thinking about you,” James says softly. 

“Good. I plan to make it so you keep thinking about me for the rest of your life.” 

James laughs beautifully, tugging at Regulus’ heartstrings. “I can’t believe you’ve not done this before. You’re good. I bet you’re kinky as fuck, when you’re alone.” 

Regulus raises an eyebrow, eyes darting to his nightstand. “Want to see my toy collection?” 

James swallows audibly. “You have a collection?” 

“Yes, I do. It’s very precious to me. I use it on the daily.” 

“Fucking hell. Where did you come from? I feel like I’m seeing you for the first time.” 

“And do you like what you see?” 

“I do,” James confesses. “You know I do.” 

“Just wait till you’re inside me,” Regulus dives down and captures his lips in a light kiss. James whimpers into his mouth, cards his hands through the black curls at the nape of his neck, and drags him closer. 

“How do you want to do this, Reggie?” James asks when they part. Regulus stares at him, entranced. He notices small things, like the speckle of black in his brown eyes, or the faint scar on his left cheek. He caresses the rough skin there, and James shudders. 

“I think I want you to fuck me,” Regulus makes his wish, struggling to keep the tremble out of his voice. “Is that okay?” 

“Yes,” James sounds hoarse as if he’s been shouting. “Of course, whatever you want.” 

“Have you done it before?” 

“What, anal?” James smirks. “Yeah, I have. Both on the receiving and the giving end.” 

“What?” Regulus’ eyes go wide. He’s devilishly curious now. “With whom?” 

“Do you really want to know?” 

“I guess so.” 

“I slept with a couple of guys in the past and always topped. It wasn’t really intended, they just preferred it that way.” 

Regulus hums noncommittally, but he feels jealousy coil at the bottom of his stomach. He tries to dispel the thought but it lingers. 

“And then me and Lily… She’s a bit bonkers in bed,” James laughs nervously. 

“Right,” Regulus responds stiffly. He starts to regret his pernicious curiosity. 

“She has a strap on, and asked if I wanted to give it a try.” 

“Oh. And did you like it?” 

“Yeah, I liked it,” James looks dazed, eyes fogged with some distant memory or a thought that Regulus is not privy to. 

He feels himself slump forward, face scrunched in a grimace. 

“Oh, Reggie,” James squeezes him on the hip reassuringly. “Please, don’t get upset. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.” 

“It’s fine,” Regulus cuts him off. 

James doesn’t look convinced. “Did I ruin it? I’m sorry.” 

Regulus launches forward and kisses him, deeply this time. James opens up to him and starts exploring the exposed skin on his back, nails biting into the skin, and Regulus shudders in his embrace. 

“It’s fine,” he repeats. “I asked and I got the answer. I’m not unreasonable. We’re hooking up for the first time, I don’t expect you to be a virgin like me. Actually, I hugely prefer that you aren’t.” 

James snorts. They’re close, so close their noses are brushing with every slight movement. 

“Do you want me to take the lead?” James asks softly. Regulus knows he’s trying not to spook him. He appreciates the effort, but he’s not easily spooked. 

“Yes,” he says and visibly relaxes. He lets himself be scooped up and turned over to his back, with James hovering over him once again, a wide grin on his face. 

“Right then,” Regulus can’t get enough of that smile. “From my experience, what really gets a guy to relax is an orgasm or two.” 

“Oh,” Regulus gives him a blank stare. 

James sits back on his haunches. He prods Regulus in the side and dips his fingers under the hem of his trousers. “Is this okay?” 

“Yes,” Regulus whispers.

His trousers end up on the floor, next to his crumpled shirt. James takes a shaky breath but keeps his sturdy grip on Regulus’ hip. He reaches out and strokes the inside of his thigh, scrapes on the soft skin, and Regulus whimpers. 

His cock twitches between his spread legs and a drop of precum leaks onto his stomach. 

“God, you’re so beautiful,” James says and wraps his hand around the head, thumb stroking over the slit. Regulus clasps a hand on his mouth. 

He’s intimately familiar with the feeling of his own hand tugging at his cock. He couldn’t have predicted, or concocted in his delirious fantasies, the electric experience of having someone else’s hand wrapped around his cock. 

It feels like a kick to the gut, a spark that ignites something that’s been buried deep inside him. He squirms under James’ touch and stretches his hand backwards, holding onto the bedframe for dear life. 

James is merciless. Doesn’t give him much time to adjust and bows his head, slotting himself between Regulus’ trembling thighs. 

His lips wrap around the head and Regulus lets out a string of curses. James chuckles around him, which sends vibrations down the length of his cock and straight to his churning insides. Regulus feels his asshole clench around nothing and he prays for a finger or two. 

“Fuck,” he cries into the pillow while James sinks down on his length, until his nose brushes on the black curls.

The bedframe shakes under Regulus’ grip. James laps on the veiny side, goes back to sucking on the head. He gives Regulus a quick, assessing look and then puffs his cheeks and swirls his tongue around the head and over the slit. 

“Stop,” Regulus croaks, feels himself drool a little. James lets go of his cock and it lands flat on his stomach, soaking wet and painfully hard. It looks obscene and Regulus can’t take his eyes off it. He wipes his chin with the back of his hand and whispers, “I’m going to come embarrassingly quickly if you keep doing this.” 

“That’s the idea,” James explains. He doesn’t seem to mind that his lips are covered in spit and come, adding a sheen to them that Regulus should not find this enticing. He imagines tasting himself on James’ lips. He knows what he’s asking for later. “I want to make you come first, and then I’m going to finger you when you’re all loose and happy. Does that sound good?” 

Regulus nods and collapses back onto the pillow, his heart skipping a beat. “Do your worst.” 

James chuckles and a second later, his lips and tongue are back.

Regulus comes almost immediately, with a soundless scream and an aborted thrust of his hips. James drinks him up, licks him clean, starting from the tip and ending with the lone droplet that landed near his belly button. 

Regulus feels heavy and sluggish. There are little stars dancing in front of his eyes. 

“You taste incredible,” James says into the bend of his knee. He kisses him there, so lightly that Regulus almost misses it. “How are you doing?” 

Regulus spreads his legs further, the outside of his thighs skimming the sheets. He’s floating. He's so relaxed. He’s worried he’s going to doze off. 

“No way,” James clicks his tongue, recognising the haze in his grey eyes. “You’re going to wake back up real soon.” 

Regulus watches James pick up the lube and squirt a generous amount into his palm. He rubs his fingers together. Regulus watches him inspect the substance closely, brow arching. James brings his hand to his lips and licks tentatively. 

“Lovely,” he snorts. “Freshly picked strawberries, with a bit of cream and sugar. Still think you taste better.” 

Regulus rolls his eyes. “You think you’re hilarious, don’t you?” 

“I know I am.” 

“Right,” Regulus hikes up his ass and spreads his legs invitingly. James’ eyes go dark when he takes a quick glance at his dick and his clenching hole. “Get on with it. And don’t treat me like glass, James. You have no idea what I’m able to shove in there.” 

James bends down and noses at his cock, tongue darting out. Regulus feels himself stirring. A brush of fingers over his hole wakes him up. He lets out a ragged breath and folds his knees. 

“Fuck,” James squirms as his fingers press gently on the puckered skin. Regulus wiggles his ass and places his hands under the bend of his knees, holding his legs open. “Oh, fuck. I really want to eat you out.” 

“We’ll have plenty of time later,” Regulus gasps when he feels the first finger nudge at the rim. “Fuck me, please, I’m going insane here.” 

James doesn’t respond in words, but he finally acquiesces and pushes the finger through the tight ring of muscle. It slides in easily, Regulus thinks, so easily. He’s always had a knack for taking things up his ass, and it fills him with a disturbing amount of pride. 

“More,” he says almost immediately after the first finger buries itself in, knuckles catching on the rim, sending a delicious spark of pleasure and pain down his arched back. 

“You’re insatiable,” James retracts the finger and adds another. “For a virgin, you seem to know how to take it.” 

“As I said, not a prude,” Regulus boasts, relishing in the tortuous drag of knuckles on his spongy insides. He feels James crook his fingers, and he thrusts his hips against his hand. James gasps and pumps two fingers in. “Harder.” 

“Fuck’s sake,” James prods inside him, and Regulus knows what he’s searching for. 

James climbs on top of him, two fingers still buried deep inside his ass, and captures his lips in a sweet kiss. Too sweet for what his hand is currently doing to Regulus’ insides. Regulus preens into the kiss, can’t hold back and cants his hips again. He knows James is close. 

“There it is,” James pants into his mouth when Regulus quivers under him, thighs crushing him at the waist. 

Regulus sees stars go aflame, burst, and then extinguish. It feels ten times better than usual, and Regulus thinks it’s because it’s James who lights the fuse. 

“Make that sound again,” James pleads and rams his fingers back in, and Regulus sings under him. He’s floating, swept away by the waves of pleasure. His hole clenches down and James grinds his teeth and latches onto his neck, sucking a bruise into it. “God, you feel so good. You’re so loud. I think I could come just from fingering you like that.” 

“Don’t you dare,” Regulus growls. “Not before you fuck me.” 

James laughs and scissors his fingers inside him, tips brushing on his prostate for the umpteen time, and Regulus loses all focus. 

His cock is hard again. It’s chafing on James’ stomach, the head leaking precum and coating their skin in glistening patterns.

“Fuck me,” Regulus chokes out between stifled moans. James freezes and pulls his fingers out, smearing the lube over his ass. Regulus swears into the pillow. 

“I can’t fucking wait to be inside you,” James nuzzles into his neck and then begrudgingly climbs off him. Regulus watches him fight with his zipper and pull frantically at his underwear. He rips them off and chucks the bundle to the ground. 

James kneels back between his legs. Regulus stares, mouth agape. He must look ridiculous, but he doesn’t mind. 

“Is this the first cock you see in real life?” James says, a taunting smirk dancing on his lips. 

“Yep, first other than mine,” Regulus spreads his legs involuntarily. He gauges the length and the girth, calculating in his head. James is utterly stunning, and huge, but Reg’s pretty sure he has a toy or two that are a smidge bigger. 

He can take it, no sweat. 

“I’m going to start slow, and you tell me if it’s too much,” James rips the condom out of the packet and slides it on in a quick, practised move. 

Regulus nods but is confident he won’t have to raise any alarms. 

“Don’t,” he murmurs under his breath and James looks up. “Don’t go slow. I can take it.” 

James climbs back on top of him and kisses the corner of his mouth. 

“You’re so sweet and so dirty at the same time. How do you do this?” 

“You’re just thinking with your cock. I’m not sweet.” 

“Yes, you are.” 

Regulus can feel James all over him. He crowds him against the bed, their combined weight sinking them into the mattress. The heavy tip of his cock slides over his hole, and James exerts pressure. It’s tentative at first, then he pushes in harder. Regulus gasps when the head breaches the ring of muscle and pops inside with a flare of pain. 

“Relax a little, baby,” James groans and breathes through his nose, struggling to hold back.  Regulus comes to his aid. He wraps his legs around his waist and pushes his heels into his back with maddening urgency. 

“Don’t stop, I’m fine,” his breathing quickens and he feels a drop of sweat trickle down his temple. It tickles, so he wipes it off. 

James swears into the bend of his neck and gives in. He splits him open, sinks in almost to the base. Regulus curls his toes in the air and gasps in shock. It’s different to his toys. They don’t burn hot against his insides. They don’t struggle to catch their breath. They don’t tremble in his grip, and grind against him, chasing their own pleasure. 

James bottoms out with a pained moan. “You feel so fucking good, oh, fuck. I can’t believe I’m inside you.” 

“I can’t believe that either,” Regulus admits and rolls his hips. “Move, please.”

“Ask me again,” James grinds down to meet him halfway, and Regulus sees stars. 

“Please, please, move. Please, fuck me.” 

James pulls out and buries himself to the hilt again, and then again, and Regulus drifts off into a foreign plane inside his head, one he’s not had a chance to explore yet. Not to this degree.    

James’s skin is hot, his weight a dominating presence, making Regulus feel small and fragile, like an ensnared animal, frozen under a predatory gaze. He revels in it, in the sensation of being trapped and held down, split open and filled up to the brim with someone else’s presence, someone else’s body. James’ body. 

The thick cock inside him nudges his prostate and Regulus cries out in bliss, feels a prickle of tears at the corner of his eyes. The stretch verges on unpleasant, but it only spurs him on. His cock bounces on his stomach, and James makes an effort to thrust in at an angle that rubs his firm stomach over the head. A spurt of precum leaks out and Regulus reaches out to drag his fingers through it absentmindedly. 

This is not what a first time should feel like, Regulus thinks stupidly, while James moans his name and buries himself inside again. He’s not complaining. He just didn’t expect this. 

James rolls his hips and stays seated, grinding down, his teeth biting into Regulus’ neck.

“Right there,” he sighs, pleased, when Regulus comes to life under him, clenching down on his cock frantically. “Does it feel good?” 

“Yes, yes, it does! Please don’t stop!”

“Are you going to come on my cock?” 

“Yes,” Regulus' eyes roll back when the words hit his ears. He wants to lick them out of James’ mouth, suck them off his tongue. He craves more. “Yes, please, make me come on your cock. Please, make me!” 

“Jesus Christ,” James fucks into him, the angle so delicious, hitting that spot inside him at every thrust. “You’re the dirtiest little virgin I’ve ever fucked. You feel so fucking good.”

“More,” Regulus hears the springs in the mattress squeak, and the bed wobbles, hitting the wall rhythmically and swaying together with their movements.

“More?” 

“Talk to me!” 

“You love it, don’t you? You love being split on my cock. How can you take it so well? I want to know what you’ve put up that ass. You spread for me so nicely. And you’re so fucking tight, I can’t -” 

James lets out a pained moan and doubles down, fucking into Regulus so hard his teeth chatter. Then, he resumes.

“I can’t wait to fuck you without a condom and come inside you. And I want to -” he gasps, “- put my fingers back in after, fuck you so more. Make you come again.” 

Regulus topples over the edge. Falls over it and hurdles to the ground, crushing at the bottom of the precipice into million fragile pieces. 

Thick, white streaks cover his stomach. There’s so much of it, Regulus thinks, and he already came once. His hole clenches down, and he watches James’ face contort in pleasure when he convulses in his arms after another aborted thrust and spills inside him.  

Regulus loves to see him come, he decides. He wants to see it again.  

He can feel James shudder through it, and he dreams that there’s no condom separating them now, that James coats his insides with his come, paints them white, planting himself irredeemably inside his body. 

Regulus knows it’s temporary, but he wants to be branded forever.  

His spent cock gives a curious twitch at the thought, and Regulus lets out a euphoric giggle.  

They lay beside each other, limbs tangled. Regulus’ pulse quickens when James rolls to the side and places a chaste kiss on his cheek. “Are you okay?” he murmurs. 

“I’m peachy.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Regulus promises. “I’m a bit sore, but that’s nothing new.” 

“I’m really curious to see that toy collection,” James chuckles. 

“I’m sure you will,” Regulus drawls, but then he hesitates. “That is, if you want to. I’m not saying we have to do this again or anything. Just, if you wanted to -”

“Reg,” James cuts him off with a kiss. Regulus lets out an indignant huff but lets James manoeuvre him closer. In the post-orgasm haze, every touch is blissful. “I want to do this again, and again, and again, if you let me.” 

“Okay then,” Regulus says, lips stretching in a smile. “You have my blanket permission to fuck me.”

James caresses his temple with so much care his heart almost bursts. “I want to know what other kinky stuff you will come up with.” 

“I don’t know if I’d call myself kinky.” 

“Oh, I think there’s so much potential there,” James sounds hopeful. “I can already spot a couple, and I bet that’s not the end.” 

“I’m open to suggestions.” 

“Let’s talk about it more tomorrow,” James strokes the tip of his nose. “I can see you’re dozing off.” 

Regulus hums noncommittally, his eyelids fluttering. James says something hushedly, and Regulus fights off the rush of swirling patterns that start flickering in front of his eyes, dragging him under. 

He feels so good. So warm.

A year ago, he spent his birthday with his mother. 

He was so lonely. 

“How was your first time?” James asks just before sleep takes him. 

“It was perfect,” Regulus concedes without hesitation. A second later, he’s dead to the world.