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Chapter Text

Dear dad,

It's your son. I'm writing this letter because I am not sure if I will ever have the courage to speak to you face to face about it. And because I don't want to miss any word that I want to say. And maybe also because I don't have my phone to be able to text you, or call you, although I know you prefer the traditional way of communicating. 

In my heart I feel that I can't keep quiet and pretend everything is good any longer. Before you think something, I'm talking about us: You and me. I feel like we've grown apart from each other and it caused some conflicts to happen.

Maybe it was somehow my fault... We've been talking much less often since I met Donatello. Maybe you don't feel certain; You know I'm an adult now, perhaps you feel like you can't have control over me anymore and it frustrates you. Or probably you're just worried that the man I'm with doesn't treat me as good as you want him to.

But I think you fret because you don't know what it looks like. How can you know, after all, I never revealed you any details and I know you like to know everything about everyone. Maybe that's what you lack, and maybe the knowledge will ease your concerns a little. 

Me and Donnie met in april, you know that. It happened because of a pure coincidence, he noticed me, then we met again... I think I liked him from the start, even though I didn't know much about him. But later I realized, I've never felt so taken care of before. So visible, so valuable... Donatello was charmed by my energy, I was charmed by his everything. We both knew that we can be something, or even that we can fix each other... I encouraged him to run, he showed me how to slow down.

I remember when you both spoke for the first time. Back then, on my telephone. It was a harsh night... Later, Donatello had a fight with Raphael. I felt torn apart, it was like I lost all my friends for the sake of love. Then the truth about his past hit me and it was so much harder to handle... But you were right when you said that Donatello never had a chance to tell me about it earlier. He lied, but only because he was so scared of losing me. In the end, I knew one thing. I knew there was no chance in hell that I could ever love someone more than him, there is no one else with whom I will feel so happy, so... Me.

It didn't take long for me to learn that everyone makes mistakes. But they don't define us, what you choose to do to fix them does. Donatello was so young, he didn't understand the consequences of most of the troubles he'd gotten himself into. And he is really an intelligent and strong man, but he is also sensitive. Very, very sensitive. No words the world ever thought of him compared to how critical he was to his own self. Suddenly it's like no opinions matter when you are your biggest enemy, you know what I mean? But he rised up.

I understood and accepted him completely, I decided that my biggest goal in life will be to support him 'til the end of the line. Day after day, we are still learning new things about each other. And I got so, so excited when I had a chance to make you two meet, get to know each other... I wanted nothing more than to see two of the most important people in my life finding a common language, I wished you could accept us, give us your blessing, I wanted you to like him! But - And don't get me wrong, I still do love you and nothing will ever change that - You really, really disappointed me. You hurt someone I care for so much. 

Eventually I have no idea if you had right or wrong intentions. Donatello was hiding it for so long, you know? He didn't want me to find out the truth about 'that day' (when you met), he didn't want to see me hurt. Never wanted to ruin that beautiful, fake image I created in my mind. But he couldn't hide it any longer, he was aching. You reminded him all the things he didn't want to think about anymore, made him feel like all his efforts and attempts to change were in vain, he realized the part of him that he wanted to heal so much was still very, very sick. 

What touched me was that after it all, after everything I heard you told him, Donnie told me... To not be mad at you. Do you understand? All he wanted was my good being... And yours. 

Because he knew what it meant - To have a dad and to lose a dad. He was orphaned when he was eighteen, imagine if it happened to me now, knock on the wood. But even then my situation would be way better - Because at least I have him, a group of trusted friends by my side... He had no one. Completely nothing. 

Dad. What I want you to know is that you made me sad and disappointed. Because last few days, from the moment I knocked at your doors with that girl, it was all wrong. She's not my friend, she's not a good person. She hurt me, and she told you things I couldn't even imagine, things that never happened. The scar on my head? She did this to me, she broke my phone as well. You think it was somehow connected to my boyfriend when it wasn't. 

He didn't know. He was waiting for me home, he was searching for me, he was praying to have me back. He just wanted to know that I'm okay. And I know, I could've stopped it earlier if only I was smarter... But it's something I have to work on by myself. What I can tell you is that... I'm really bothered that you didn't want to talk with me about it earlier, ask me about it, try to solve it... It seemed to me like you trusted that woman - A stranger - More. 

With this letter I don't mean to make you feel guilty. I don't even care about any apologies. What I want from you is to once again look at my man and try to soften your gaze. Give him your trust and let him speak. Try to understand. If there is one person I want you to apologize, it's him. Nothing matters to me more.

He really needs it, dad... I know it so damn well, even though he won't admit it. But he needs the acceptance. 

About me, don't worry. I'll be alright. Yeah, I have a hard time upon me... I have to come to terms with the changes in relations with those who seemed close to me. I'm more than happy that the boys grew closer to Donnie, Raph and Mikey really helped him through it all, I can't be more thankful. I don't know about April tho, it's like she disappeared... But I hope there is an easy explanation. It will be tough but I have Donnie. And Mikey and Raph.

I don't know, you can visit us if you want to talk. Or you can send me a letter. Or call, but call Donnie. I still don't have my phone and I don't know when I'll buy a new one. I'll write you his number in the post scriptum in case you don't have it. But please, please, before you decide to answer me... Try to understand. And sorry if it made no sense, I don't know.

I wish you everything that's good. 

Your Leo

Leonardo sighed. He read the letter at least three times before he decided to put it in an envelope and sign it with every necessary information. It was eight ante meridiem already, he still hadn't slept since they got back home. He tried to, trust him! But the silence was overwhelming, the tension in the room was way too much to handle. Once Donatello fell into slumber Leo gave him soft kisses on his cheek and forehead before he decided to leave the bed. It hurt, he looked so calm, so lovely... His head on Leo's chest, arm lazily hanged around his waist, his breath calm. Quiet. Not a wrinkle on his face, no worries, peace. His presence, it should be somehow helpful for Leo to not get lost in his mind but it just wasn't enough, it somehow wasn't enough. So he stood up and went downstairs. 

And ever since that moment he'd been thinking of what to write, tried at least five times until it satisfied him enough... 

There was no way he would go back to sleep now so he was just pointlessly observing the surroundings. What boredom and lack of technology can do to a man... 

He noticed something new on the kitchen counter. It was a framed photography of them both together, taken on Leo's nineteenth birthday party. They were both in the center of the photo, looking at each other with bright smiles on their faces, probably in the middle of some conversation. He smiled to himself. This had to be new, he didn't recognize it at all. 

Since he was in writing mode already, he could add something from him. He took the photo out of the frame and wrote on the back of it:

'I love you, always and forever. 'Till the end of the line. Don't forget. 

Your Leo <3' 

Leo sighed. 

"What are you doing?" The voice of his boyfriend made him jump a little. When did he appear behind? He could've never seen it coming, Donatello really was quiet. 

"Jesus! You scared me!" Leo chuckled. Donnie probably just got out of the bed, he didn't have anything on except for the boxers he fell asleep in, he looked like he was still tired. 

"Sorry..." Donatello just blinked a few times and yawned. "Have you slept at all?" Leo shook his head hesitantly but Donnie didn't even notice it because the letter and the note caught his attention. "What is that?" 

Leon held the photo in both of his hands and wanted to hand it to Donnie. 

"A message. From me." But he didn't look at it, he pointed to the envelope instead. 

"What's that all?" 

"I wrote my father a letter." Leo spoke immediately, putting the photo down. "I thought it would be better... And maybe this way he will hear everything I want to tell him." Just then he noticed the frown on Donnie's face and the way it softened after hearing the slider's words, as well as his shoulders that relaxed immediately. Leo furrowed his brows. "What did you think?" Donnie didn't answer for a hot minute but when he did... 

"That you're leaving me again." Oh. Leo put a hand on his chest, the exact place he knew his heart was at. He thought it was going to explode from the guilt. 

"What?" 

"I woke up and the bed was cold. Then I see you with a letter and a note, I thought," 

"Donnie." 

"Don't leave me again."

"Sweetheart, no, I'm not..." He went to grab Donnie's hand in his. "It really is for my dad. I even signed it already, but you can read it if you want to... If that makes you calm," 

"No. It's okay." It was not. Leo's worried expression didn't soften at all, he still felt his face wrinkling. "Can I see that note, tho?" And Leo gave him that. Donatello read it, it took him a moment... But then, he just smiled. 

"I didn't know you had this picture framed," Lee admitted and noticed that Donnie decided to write something on it, too. "I'm not sure if I even knew it existed." 

When Donnie put it down, Leo took a quick look to see what he'd written. 

'I love you, too. :) D'

Cute. 

"I got it two days before you left." And Leo felt his heart shattering into pieces again, how come he never saw it before? It's not like he was gone already... He just didn't pay attention, 

"I'm sorry..." But Donnie answered with a soft smile. How patient can you be... "I adore it. Love it." So he got closer again, just to give him a short but full of love kiss. 

He missed it. 

★☆★

It was time for breakfast! How exciting was that? To emphasize it even more: The last few mornings he only had coffee and some snacks, like granola bars or cheap, stale pastries. Lunch never varied much - usually some ordered food, rarely anything healthy or filling. Dinner either didn't exist or it was something really small and not exactly yummy, anything that could be made quickly and cheaply, like instant noodles. Yeah. God, how much he missed Donnie's famous waffles.

He liked that they didn't have to rush at all.

"I noticed... That it always takes you long to read whatever I've written." He spoke at a random moment, Donnie looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"What do you mean?" 

Leon pointed to the picture.

"This note. Or! Or the note I gave you in Oasis, remember?" 

"I don't remember you there when I read it..." He chuckled. Ah, fact, Leo was a total creep back then. 

"I was watching you from the kitchen." He admitted, ashamed. "Do you read it a few times, or," Donnie cut him mid-sentence, a frown on his face.

"Wait, is that a real question?" Well this was surprising. He nodded gently and Donnie bursted out laughing. "Then I don't know if you noticed, but you have a terrible, terrible handwriting." And he took his phone out of the case to get something.

"What do you-" He handed Leo the exact same note they were talking about, this MENU thing. Leo stopped for a moment. "You still have it?" 

"Of course. Always." Donnie shrugged and hid it again. Leo smiled without thinking much.

"That's so cute-" But he still had to defend himself. "My handwriting isn't bad!" 

"Like chicken scratch." 

"Hey!" Leo grabbed a handful of flour to throw it at Donnie.

"Can't apologize for being honest!" And he did the same.

★☆★

Talking about food, Leo was hungry for love.

No, really. No matter how corny it sounded, what he craved the most wasn't any meal, it was Donatello. After they ate and did the dishes the boy basically clinged to him like a coala bear, cuddled the man on the sofa and attacked him with kisses, once short, once longer. He inhaled the sounds of Donatello's weak giggles and smiled to himself the entire time, he wanted it all, he missed it so much.

"Any plans for today?" Dona asked, probably to buy them a minute to catch a breath.

"Be with you. That's my only plan." And he seemed to like that answer.

One kiss was followed by a second, equally long, and a third, more passionate. Their hands roamed over each other's bodies, trying to remember every part even tho they already knew 'em by heart, filling themselves with both innocence and intensity of the act. Leo decided to deepen it, to get closer, but in order not to restrict his movements he had to first climb onto the man's lap.

His lips quickly began to wander down Donatello's neck. He left a long kiss there, then decided to suck on a bit of his skin.

"Are you marking me?" Donnie spoke weakly, Leon chuckled against his neck. "Leo, we have work tomorrow." Then Lee paused, only to speak. 

"You're your own boss. And people know about us." A definition of turtleneck, by the way.

"Yeah, but what will people think of me?" Probably that he got lucky? "A serious businessman when I show up like that." Exactly.

"It's just one hickey. The rest I'm just kissing." He said, not pulling away from Donnie's neck, whispering into his flesh instead. "Let me love you, can you?" 

"Do what you want." There was a smile he heard in that voice. 

But Leo didn't stop there. And it took him a few minutes to realize that yeah, maybe he had gone a little too far... But please! The hickeys adorned his neck more beautifully than any necklace or chain. Leo smiled, pleased with his work of art - Maybe he made so many of them that each subsequent one practically overlapped - And maybe it would make his father shiver if he saw it, but! It was a gift. Okay?

After a while, it was time to calm down a bit - Donnie mentioned to Leo that they were having guests. And okay, that was even better news. He really wanted to finally see the rest of them.

"What's that chat? BPD?" Leo laughed when he saw Donnie's phone screen.

"I don't remember what it stood for. Birthday party disorder?" Donnie winced but his eyes lightened up after a second. "Oh! Birthday party day. Raph came up with it and didn't consider it sounds bad."

"Sounds like Raph." Leon let out a roar of laughter. "Whose birthday?"

"Yours. I thought you knew we had a chat." Ah no, yeah, there was something like that.

"Yeah, but you're still texting there?" 

"We were talking about the dumb thing you did." Leo rolled his eyes.

"Oh! Another thing for your collection, send them a picture." 

"Of?" Donnie really was unaware, was he?

"Of your neck." 

"What's wrong with my-" He opened the camera app to see what the younger one meant. One quick glance was enough for Leo to know he was fucked up. "LEO!" 

★☆★

BPD

Mikey

@Donnie Hi :) 

We'll be at your place in an hour

Donnie

Alr 

Mikey

But we have a question :) 

Donnie

Yup? 

Raph

Will you be mad if we'll bollock Leon a bit 

Donnie

Huh 

Mikey

YK

Like tell him he did wrong and all

Donnie

I mean I'm not gonna forbid you 

Just don't be too harsh on him

Raph

Ofc we just wanna say what we think about it 

No harsh feelings 

Mikey

Want to make sure he understands what just happened and that it wasn't exactly right 

Donnie

He might still be a bit sensitive about it

I wouldn't want it to end with a fight 

And I don't want him to be sad

Ok? 

Mikey

Ofc ofc

See you then!!

Donnie

See you 

★☆★

Josh came in first, he didn't even knock. Mikey and Raph weren't that far behind, the smiles they wore on their faces were so bright, so relieved, focused mostly on Leo but they also stole a few looks from Donatello. The boy laughed, it seemed like they couldn't wait to finally greet him correctly. That was heartwarming...

"Look at that." Although Joshua's smile was probably the biggest. He looked as if his face was to explode from the tense facial muscles. He basically ran to Leo just to embrace him in a tight hug which he gladly accepted. 

But he didn't stand a chance to Mikey - Trust him. When the youngest of them all arrived in the living room? God, Leo was sure he was going to fall to the ground. 

"Like I said, didn't expect this crossover... Or did I say it out loud? If not, then I'm saying it now." He said through laughter. In the meantime, Josh walked to Donnie.

"How do you- Have you seen yourself?" Lol, sorry not sorry. 

Raphael's reaction was the calmest. He waited for Mikey to leave Leonardo alone, keeping an eye contact with the slider all time long. After his younger brother finally gave him space to walk closer, Leo noticed his movements were very careful and slow.

"You're alive." He said almost as if he didn't believe it himself.

"I am..." Leo smiled empathetically. "Sorry." And he accepted the hug from the older friend.

"We can leave you three maybe?" Josh suggested, Leo shrugged with a smile. Donnie sent him one last look before the two of them ran upstairs. 

Leo had to catch his breath. He invited the guests to the dining room, they sat by the counter while Leo started preparing tea. 

"Thank you, I mean... That you were with Donnie." He started delicately. "And that you tried."

"Yeah. About that," Theeeere we go. Leo tensed immediately, his eyes opened up wide and he heard his voice cracking when he answered:

"Yes?" 

"Donnie was really worried about you." Mikey was the one to explain. "So worried that it made us worried." Leo didn't know how to react, the only feeling inside was guilt. 

"I know." He said abashed.

"It's not that type of worried." 

"You blame me for that?" He only then realized how stupid it sounded. He wasn't about to make a fuss about it, no, blame the nerves.

But the boys didn't stop here. With every other sentence Leo felt more tensed, more unsure, his breathing quickened...

"It's not about blame or not blame..." 

"I mean, it really looked like some serious abandonment issues...?"

"You had a chance to stop this." 

"I even warned you, Leo. You didn't listen. You still went to her house that day anyway." 

Until he cracked.

"And that day I wanted to stop it but was very scared to do anything else." 

"But there were also many other days when you could've done it..." Yes, he knew it. 

"And it happened, okay. Yeah I learnt."

"Did you?" Yes. "If something similar happened again, would you call Donnie? Or me? Or Mikey, or Josh, or anyone else?" 

"I didn't even have my phone." That seemed like a reasonable explanation for him, at least until Mikey started talking.

"You could've used a payphone sooner." Leo tried to ignore the way his heart rate increased. "Steal Sunita's phone. Or even ask someone on the street. You're independent." 

"I didn't think of it back then." He wasn't even sure.

"Or you just didn't want to do it." 

"It's not like I didn't want to tell Donnie!" It felt like it was too late, anyway.

And then, yeah. You know, his hands twitched, he couldn't control the moves correctly and his brain was completely fogged. This was a dangerous mix and you can only guess it didn't end up well. The cup he had in hands fell to the ground and the drink spilled all over the floor. Leo was lucky enough that he didn't burn himself with the hot tea.

Raph immediately jumped to help him clean up the mess - Or more precisely, he did it almost by himself with a small help from Mikey when Leo fell to the floor to sit for a moment.

The king of overreacting.

"Are you okay?" No.

"Yeah. Don't worry about me." Leo put a hand on his head. "This was his favorite mug..." It was not the most important. 

But it didn't save him from the conversation. After a moment, Mikey asked him again.

"But you also said that you weren't scared of Sunita...? So what it is?" He took a deep breath. No matter what he'd say, he knew it won't help anything. So he could just say bullshit as well.

"Look. I know it, I'm dumb and all, but... I was thinking, maybe I wanted to prove myself that I can be good? I know now that I caused more problems than good. But-"

"But what for? Why do you care what others think of you?" Leo felt his eyes watering up. "We think you're awesome. And strong, and funny. Worthy. So does Donnie. And Joshua." 

"Don't you think that of yourself too?" Mikey put a hand on his shoulder. Leo didn't know the answer.

"Was this a reason to put us all through so much stress? Was this a reason to risk your health and life?"

"I didn't want you stressed. You didn't have to feel stressed about it."

"What." Raph sounded irritated but he was patient. "All honest, but then you'd be sad that no one cared or something. We know you long enough to know that you're a nit-picking person." 

"And even if." Mikey gave Leo no chance of answering before he spoke, "Imagine that Donnie disappears. You know absolutely nothing. Would you be worried or just think that he's an adult and he will make it?" 

"But this is different." 

"HOW!" Oof, Mikey was on the edge. "How is it different! Do you even hear yourself?" 

"I would be dead worried and I would move the heaven and hell to find out what happened, but-" Leo tried to explain.

"What is the but! There is no but! You both love each other and you both care, this isn't about what you're able and not able to do on your own, this is about worrying over a loved one." Probably. Maybe. Very possible. "Do you think we weren't worried? Do you think we'd be able to just ignore it and not give a fuck about it?" It really was something if even Raph chose to ignore Mikey's cursed language.

"Or you just can't get it through your head that you matter to us?" 

"I don't know guys. I'm still lost." He admitted honestly.

"In my opinion, you should get a short time ban." Maybe. Nevermind. "To be fair and honest. This was just stupid." Yeah. "And I don't mean it in the 'we hate you now' way. I mean it in the 'I hope you learn something' way. Do you know why?" Why, Mikey?

"Because I did something stupid and you're mad at me." He said it without even trying to think.

"Yeah, this too." Raph cleared his throat. "But also because we CARE about you." Leo wanted this conversation to end finally. "Stupid example, I know. But if a child does something dumb - Should their parents tell them it was stupid? Teach them a lesson? Or should they pat it on the head and act like nothing happened?" 

"But I'm not a child." 

"I said it's just an example. Don't take everything so literally, we know that."

★☆★

Donnie knew Josh had a motive in leaving the group. He'd noticed it the first moment his friend walked up to him and looked into his eyes. 

"You know I hate starting the conversation like that..." Of course he expected that. "But how are you?" Donnie blinked a few times. 

They both sat down on the bed in Donnie and Leo's bedroom but after receiving the question Donatello felt the urge to lay on his back, his eyes glued to the ceiling. 

"Alright now. Better." He sighed.

"Yeah, yeah, I don't see that at all." Joshua decided to lie next to him. "One more frown and that face will be all wrinkled like sum' raisin." He couldn't fight the laughter.

"Josh..." Yeah, that was funny. However, Joshua wasn't as amused, his gaze was serious as ever.

"Yeah, speak. Go on. I won't judge." 

Honestly, he felt strange. After all, Leo was the one who needed this attention and care now. Right? He was the one who got mistreated. Hurt, that was for sure. Betrayed, he had lost someone he considered a friend.

Although Donnie felt the similar way. And he was ashamed, because it wasn't about him...

He was happy that Leo was with him now, that he was safe and sound. Nothing else should matter. Right?

But,

"Is this bad that I'm still mad at him?" He admitted through a question. "I mean... I don't know if I'm mad exactly. I love him and he makes me happy, I know he had it hard too. Harder. But I'm... Mad? Or disappointed? That he never told me anything sooner." 

There were many ways to deal with this, this whole situation could have been solved in an absolutely simple way and no relationships would have been damaged, no phones would have been destroyed...

"Do you know how it could've ended? Fortune favours fools."

But it was nothing compared to the pain Donnie felt every sleepless night. Or worse, when he finally fell asleep but woke up in the middle of the night and wanted to just look at the calm, sleeping face of his love - But he wasn't there. When after a long and hard day at work he came back to find the house so empty, so quiet, all the lights were off. When the bathroom's floor was clean and there were no signs of Leon's dirty clothes scattered all over, when his boy's favorite spoon stayed untouched in the drawer, waiting to be used. The training bag that was standing near the doors all the time, it was there since he last came back from VR.

Or when he'd stood in front of the mirror, looking at his reflection and there weren't any new hickeys which Leo so loved to gift him with (Which he'd proven not more than an hour ago) 

And he shouldn't think about it anymore. All was good now, they were fine, yes? He could just enjoy his presence, embrace him with all the love that was gathering inside his heart, waiting to be passed to someone,

But... Oof.

"It's not bad. All emotions are important." Josh spoke up calmly. "But also it's not this easy."

"Yeah...?" 

"I mean. It is a weird thing. Because no one is responsible for the emotions you feel, they appear inside of you, they can be triggered by someone's acts or something... But they're still yours. You know what I mean?" He did not know, no.

"Not really...?" 

Triggered by someone's acts. Let's break this down.

What had Leo done? Nothing... It was not his idea. He wanted to help. How could he know that it will end up badly, that he'll be betrayed, that his partner in crime was so insane in the brain.

What did Leo do, or maybe what he didn't do? He didn't tell Donnie. Sure, he'd already told him that it was because he didn't want to worry him, that he wanted to see if he could handle it on his own but this all 'not to worry him' thing ended in him being worried even more. 

Who's fault was it? Was it anyone's fault at all? Was it a fault they shared? What in The Fault in Our Stars is that sentence? 

"Oof." Josh groaned. "Oh! When I laugh loudly, does that make you mad?" 

"Irritated." He specified. 

"But does it mean I'm doing a bad thing?" Uh, no? He supposed. "Not entirely. Someone else will find it amusing, and anothers won't give a fuck. Maybe I'll even make someone sad! I don't know, and it's not in my business to change it." 

"So I am wrong to be mad." 

"No." Now it was just confusing. "I can't control the way I laugh, You can't control the way you feel. But it's valid." 

"But you can control your emotions." Donnie rised himself on his elbows slightly just to be pushed to the mattress back by Joshua.

"Not entirely...?" He sounded as if he didn't exactly know how to word it. "Because they will always be there. What you can do is control your reactions." Maybe. He never looked at it that way. "So if you're mad at him, it's okay. You should be honest. Tell him you're mad. Work it out." Yeah, but it wasn't as easy.

"But if I tell Leo I'm mad at him, he'll feel guilty." 

"Yeah, but it's exactly the same case." And Donnie would feel guilty for making Leo feel guilty, which would make Leo feel guilty for making Donnie feel guilty that Leo felt guilty for making Donnie mad. That sounded like a bad plan. "You'll be honest. It's not going to be your fault that he will feel the way he will." 

"But if I make him feel guilty then I'll feel guilty, too." 

"Donatello, don't be a nine year old." But that was the truth! It wasn't his fault that both of them were mentally child-like when it came to emotional maturity. "Keeping it to yourself will only make it worse. And feeling this or that is okay. You have to let your emotions out or they'll really ruin you inside." He wanted to say but, yet honestly? There was no but. "And this way you will learn... And Leo will learn, too. Win? Win." He sighed.

God, it will be awful.

"Yeah..." 

"Remember how hard it was for you to tell him you love him?" 

Donnie smiled to himself. He remembered, of course, God it was something he would never forget. 

"Yes." 

"But you still did it." He did, yes. It took him a while but he did. "Even tho you were worried he doesn't feel the same, or that it's too soon, you knew you had to do it." 

"And it ended good." Donnie sighed out loud. Maybe he was right, maybe it was the only correct way.

To open up about his feelings, even if they weren't as positively marked...

He no no wanna.

"See?" Josh sent him a smile and grabed Donnie's hand just to squeeze it hard and leave it. "It will be hard. And it can hurt a bit. But in the end, it will be better this way." 

"...Thank you." 

"You're absolutely welcome." 

They heard a loud sound coming from downstairs. At first, Donnie wanted to see what happened... But Josh was correct when he said they could handle it on their own. 

And something inside Donnie told him that it wasn't all, that his friend wanted to tell him something as well. He could see it by the way Joshua hesitantly opened his mouth multiple times just to close it again, and again, and again... 

On any normal day, Donatello would have already guessed what he was about to say. Literally, any normal day. But there was nothing right inside his left-brain and inside his right-brain there was nothing left. 

"Y'know, I have to tell you something, too. And just you believe, I'm kinda stressed right now." Yes, he saw it. Josh was playing with his fingers, he looked nervous... But in the good way, no matter how weird it sounded.

"Rare view..." Donnie smirked.

"I...'m." Pregnant? "Gonna be a father." And trust me when I say, Donatello JUMPED up on that bed. Almost enough to fly out of the room through the ceiling. 

"She told you!" And it seemed like he had never had a wider grin on his face. However, Josh was very confused. 

"What." Ah, right. He didn't know that Donnie already knew. Josh rised up in order to stand face to face with him. "Are you nuts? This is totally not the reaction I, I mean, how, what-" 

"I knew sooner than you." And he threw himself straight on Josh to embrace him, they both landed back on the mattress. 

"You're just playing with me. She wouldn't tell you first. We both know that." Correct, and wrong. She didn't exactly tell him.

"Brother, I'm... So happy for you." Donnie tightened the hug. 

"You didn't know." Joshua's voice sounded as if he was amused and disappointed the same time. 

"I did. I found out by an accident and talked with Cam when you left for an hour." Then, Donnie received a hit on the head that made him chuckle.

"You fucking shit, and you pretended like you have no idea this whole time?" 

"Yes, what was I supposed to do?!" 

★☆★

Leo didn't notice when the boys came back. He still hadn't raised himself from the floor, not because he was unable to; He just couldn't find the reason. 

But the reason arrived and wore a worried tone.

"Is everything good? We've heard-" And God damn it because Leo never, ever jumped back on his feet that quick. 

So he ran, ploughed into his man's chest for only two main reasons, first? To get comfort, duh? And secondly, to confuse him a bit. Hear him out. 

He grabbed Donnie by the hand and made the man follow him all the way to the anteroom, ignoring all the confused looks from their friends.

"All is good." Lee smiled dumbly and left a hurried kiss on his lips. Everything was too chaotic.

"It doesn't exactly... Look like it," Yeah, yeah. Leo chuckled. 

"It's not them. I just broke a cup." And after he said it, he faked a care. "Oh no! I broke a cup. I'm sorry, it was an-" But-

"Are you hurt?" Come on! It wasn't supposed to make him worried, he just, come on! He wanted to turn his attention so he wasn't worried! 

"No, no, what? No." And he laughed again. "What about you tho? You look like you just witnessed a war crime." And he had that sorrow in his eyes. 

"I... Just got worried. You were almost shaking a second ago." No, no, he wasn't!

"Because I broke a cup." 

"I'm not talking about the-" Oh give this man a break, please. 

"I'm good! Come on!" He sticked his tongue out and smiled at Donnie before they both decided to go back to them.

★☆★

The boys stayed until late evening. They had time to talk, had time to laugh, to play some games. Leonardo's heart warmed up every time his friends laughed with Donnie, seeing how comfortable the man felt in their company... They really shared a bond now. Maybe it was the better side of this whole situation, they spent a lot of time together for known reasons... Of course Leo felt a bit confused by the amount of inside jokes they had that he didn't understand, but yeah. It was heartwarming.

However.

For a person who knew EVERYTHING about Donnie's past and all the things he went through - Leo was pretty fantastic at ignoring his man's feelings or even trying to forget as if it was supposed to make him feel less guilty. And Donnie had told him previously that he had no one left but him, had told him so many things...

How could he look at his reflection and not feel shame? He was hurting the person he loved so much, the person who loved him to the extreme fucking level. He probably meant the entire world to Donnie and leaving him like that meant nothing less than to take away his will to live, to breathe, to function properly. 

To be completely alone. Again. To be left and not knowing why. And to - once again - feel so weak and hopeless, without any ideas what to do now, where to go, fucking hell.

What had he done?

Will Donnie ever be able to trust him again? How was he going to show Donnie that he really, really didn't want to worry him anymore, didn't want to hurt him, that he wanted to have him close, Christ!

Even though he was smiling, even though he looked like he had fun... Leo saw something. He was still lost. His gaze was trying to spot Leo all the time, making sure he was there. His hands tried to keep him close, his tone was sweet but filled with hesitation every word he said to the slider... It left Leo with no strength. 

But he wanted them both to be strong...

★☆★

Monday.

Donatello planned a meeting. Well, it wasn't exactly that huge or important - Just to clean any messes around after everything that happened so the team would know that yes, Leo was going to come back the next day and yes, everything was alright and no, no one was harmed during the process - Or at least that the harm wasn't this severe.

And you can only guess it didn't meet with the best reaction ever. Don't get me wrong! They were happy everyone's good, yes, but one question lingered in the air and Donnie was no idiot to know exactly why the tension around suddenly grew to an insurmountable level because. 

Where is Sunita? 

And God believe him he was the strongest soldier of them all judging purely by the amount of chaos and riot that started after. As it turned out, there was some weird Sunita fanclub level of mutual national despair, all the theories of what must've happened and Donnie couldn't even say a word about that, not yet definitely. 

But you started a panic around the topic just to say that, 'nah we good', and now we can't even know what happened? Where's the respect, where's the honesty, where's the trust? Deal with it for fuck's sake! Josh and Donnie were both tired, both frightened, there had to be something... A way, an explanation...

He dreamed of nothing more than to just go back home and rest. It started to feel bearable after two more coffees yes, but nothing matched the sense of relaxation after he got inside a car and just rode.

Turned out Leo was doing alright - He prepared dinner, God bless him, cleaned here and there. Changed the linen and did all the things that a wealthy housewife would've ordered a maid do during the day - Call her Cinderella - Even though half of these things would be completely unnecessary. When Donnie asked the boy about it he stated clearly, it was out of boredom. Valid, since Leo wasn't a type of person who knew about whatever was going on nowadays on youtube, there was nothing to watch on netflix and who the hell uses smart TV to scroll through tiktok? 

Let's be honest, he had to finally get that damn phone. Also to be able to contact his friends and all - And he did mention that he wanted to seek for April. In the evening they found time to go and buy something good, when Donnie helped him save all the important contacts - Leo decided to text his... Friend? How do you call it, sorry?

April didn't answer his call, this was predictable. 

April

Hi it's Leo

I've got a new number and all and phone etc

And I wanted to say I'm alive

Would very much appreciate it if you told me you are alive 2

Just saying 

She never called or texted back. 

★☆★

Tuesday. 

The funniest thing about working for your boyfriend is keeping up appearances of being professional. Because at half past seven in the morning, Donnie was a sweetheart. Half past nine and he was a serious businessman. Ten in the morning? He invited Leo for a talk in the office about, like he said, 'important stuff'. 

So he started. And God was this funny, because first few seconds he tried, really tried to be professional. And so Leo found out that yes, his actions will have consequences because he also did a stupid fucking thing and as his boss, Donnie felt obligated to give him that lesson. Valid? Absolutely valid. So now, next to all the chores he had as a dancer he also had to clean the basement because weirdly, the janitor called in sick (Absolutely not suspicious.) and yeah,

But then? 'By the way, Leo, it's okay if you don't feel like it, just pretend like you're really working and all' and well, that others will surely look at it better once they see he wasn't treated differently and all. Valid? Also valid. 

But Leo felt it in his bones, he had to show off. Maybe it was the competitiveness that made him want to try and rock every task he was given, maybe it was his naivety, stubbornness even, anyways! He started regretting the decision with the very first step underground. 

★☆★

First day was the big hall. Do not mistake it with the 'party hole', no, it was way smaller. And ooh, food everywhere on the ground, bits and pieces. Furnitures all messy and dirty, it looked almost as if someone did it all on PURPOSE. He got the box Donatello gave him, there were pieces of cloths, sponges, chemicals, some tools he wasn't able to name properly. Leon took a deep breath for the last time and decided to waste no time - The sooner he'll get started, the sooner he will finish. Little to no time after, Cassandra joined him.

"How was the hide and seek?" Leo didn't remember if he ever talked with her for longer than few minutes maybe. She seemed cold... But also funny in some kind of way. 

Her tone was so, oh so pretentious. Leo shrugged. 

"Nah I won." If the way the conversation flew was any different, this could be some Gojo reference. 

"And where's Sunita?" Oh! And this question he feared. What was he supposed to say? Could he say anything at all?

"Safe and sound. Nothing happened." He sighed and once again looked inside the box, searching for... Who knows, happiness maybe. 

Cass didn't answer for a long time, but Leo felt her intense stare on his back. 

"Just so you know, we know nothing but I guess it was something harsh." Yeah, no shit. Leo stopped for a moment just to look at her, she wasn't very judging but not so friendly either. "Are you volunteering, or...?" Ha!

"Donnie had me do it." He sighed and wiped his hands in the already dirty cloth. "Which I fully understand." Honestly. 

No, he really thought it was just fair. 

"As a punishment? Funny." Was she going to just stand here, or...?

"I deserved it. I've made quite a mess..." Not physical like the one around him, but yeah. A mess for a mess. "Have to learn my lesson, I guess." Let's be responsible. 

Casey grabbed another cloth and a sponge. Leo raised one brow.

"LOL. Yeah I'll help. But just because it's fun to look at you like that." Yeah, made sense. He could only guess the girl didn't like him at all. "The others may be a little irritated tho." As if she was not? "There were no parties or anything. Not even on the anniversary. And they all knew why... I mean, know as much as they can know." Yeah, everyone knows that. 

"Did you at least do something for him? On his birthday?" Leo couldn't bring himself to ask Donnie about it.

"Sang happy birthday." Oh, wow. Still better than him. "And you don't even care that others are mad?" Well, he wasn't surprised at all. 

He cared, yeah, it was a shitty situation. But there was probably nothing he could do about it.

"No, I'm mad at myself too." 

"But what happened?" 

"I... Don't think I can tell," A part of him wanted to, the other part wanted to forget. "But yeah, I guess we will lose someone this week." It was just a suggestion... 

Cass shrugged. 

"I never liked Sunita." Oh, so she knew immediately who it was about. (It was not hard to guess.) "I'm not here as long as she was, but she always irritated me. I prefer it if she's not here. Suddenly it's like there's no one to judge you or anything. I know you like her and all, but I'm an honest person. If you tell her that - it's okay, but just be sure you'll lose a few points on my likeable list." Likeable list?

"No, I don't even like her. I did, but that turned out to be bullshit." He could tell her that much. 

It was funny that they had some nice flow. Maybe some kind of friendship would grow between them. 

Well he realized, excluding Josh, Sunita and Donatello? There wasn't anyone he had any closer interactions with in the club. Maybe it was time to finally open up to others. 

"She threw you in a pool." Cass laughed. "And she threw me in a pool, too." Mhm, Leo remembered it. He sent the girl a side eye. 

"You were rude then..." On the other hand, they already shared one funny memory together. 

"No one said I'm nice. And I was just fooling around." 

"And throwing people in a pool wasn't the worst thing this gal did." 

"I hope you'll spill the tea one day."

In the end, it ended up good. Excluding the gaze of others on him, this was a good day. 

In the evening, April still didn't answer his call.

April

Good night 

Or day wherever u r

★☆★

Wednesday. 

Something was wrong and Leo felt it the moment he noticed Donnie in the morning. He looked stressed or irritated, maybe he didn't get enough sleep? But he wasn't going to talk about it, not yet, he said. 

Since waking up, they had barely talked, exchanging only a few brief sentences during the car ride to the club.

Leo thought it was gonna be good. Yes he was nervous! But also very excited. He was about to go back to dance, shake the stress away, you know. But it turned out not to go as well as expected.

He was simply confused! Not only that, it's like he forgot how to control his body. As if his muscles weren't there, his bones melted and his hearing got worse. So every little move he did was wrong. EVERY. Like it was never his thing.

Of course Michael noticed it immediately. 

Leo! You're messing up the sides! Yeah, sorry for that. Focus! I'm trying to. No really, he did but it was! Hard to focus! When everyone was looking at you like that. Sorry for existing.

"Leonardo." The tone, oof. Not a good sign, not good anything. Leo looked around the room, EVERYONE was irritated. He just sighed.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry." Now he was just tired.

But it wasn't all, because Michael took him to the back of the room, y'know, to talk. What happened to you! You were one of the bests, and now? What happened? (One of the bests, by the way? Since when?)

So Leo just said the truth, yeah, he had a bad time. Okay, I see, but you know I have to tell your boss about it? Fuck you, Schmike, I can tell him myself. No, because he said he was still gonna do it! When Leo - Fed up with that bullshit - Asked him if he could join the group finally, he heard:

"You know, I think I'd much prefer it if you took a break today." 

No apologies nor persuasions were enough to change his mind.

"Maybe go and eat something. Or take a walk. I'll think about it."

And oh, the shame. Guilt. All the negative emotions in one, he didn't know what to do. Walking through the corridors felt like a fever dream, he got to the reception in the end. Josh sent him an asking look.

"And what happened to you?" 

"Michael kicked me out." The boy walked toward the desk, intending to hit his head on the surface but Joshua quickly placed his hand where Leo was aiming, softening the impact.

"Harsh. That only happened once before." Fuck you, too, Josh.

"You're not helping at all." 

"Sorry. But I felt it happening, y'know? Mike was mad ever since he heard you're absent, now he's just taking it out on you." Honestly? How much Leo didn't wanna say it, it was understandable. If he was a choreographer and two of his dancers were gone, damn! 

"Why do I know nothing?" He knew exactly why.

Joshua laughed.

"Since you have no choice but to do nothing today, let's have a talk. I have a beautiful chair if you mind standing." Yeah, he needed to sit. 

Leon got behind the desk. 

"I talked with my boss." He admitted not long after.

"Donatello?" How much of an idiot can you be? Leon sent the man a look.

"No, with-"

Joshua snapped his fingers as if he just had the smartest idea in his mind.

"Mike. And he kicked you out." 

"No! With... With the,"

"With the?"

"I forgot his name. But you know. Oasis. And he said dancing isn't for me..." And of course,

He knew it was all but honest on his side. He had a motive. Yet that thought alone left him wondering. What if?

"But does he know you besides being his ex-employee?" 

"No... But we talked longer. He invited me to smoke with him. And, you know! He said that maybe dancing isn't for me." 

"Well it is, you love dancing." Josh shrugged, unbothered. 

"I know. But I hadn't talked with anyone but Sunita in a long time, and I really needed to talk with someone." He sighed. "So I opened up, and... And I think I have a crisis." 

"Like a middle-age crisis?" Why would he think that?

"No, like... Leonardo is a confused idiot and a failure crisis." Josh then put a hand on the boy's shoulder and stroke it gently.

"You're not a failure. Or an idiot. Just confused." 

Leo would've thought about it more... If he hadn't heard Mike's voice coming from the hall. They both just shared a look.

"Oh," 

"Hide." And the boy did what he was told to. 

And there he was, listening to the entire conversation from under the desk. Mike asked if Josh saw Leo, the man just repeated the name a few times out loud just to finally said that no, there was no Leo. Michael was about to leave when Josh asked,

"Just in case. Which Leo? That old choreographer who died? Or Leo DiCaprio? Because if you mean one of these Leos, no, and I bet they won't ever come here." A choreographer who died, Leon was curious about his lore.

"No, Joshua, I mean..."

"Ah. Our Leo. No, no. No Leo here." 

But then.

"If he comes here, would you mind telling him that he doesn't have to come to our trainings 'til the end of this season?"

And trust him. Trust him, his eyes almost DROPPED out of the sockets. REALLY? What now?

His world finally burned, dropped absolutely, it was ruined. What was there left for him? Cleaning all the messes the entire season? TWO MONTHS of that bullshit?

"Oh so you're kicking him out for real real?" Yeah, Joshy, you go girly.

"How do you even... Uh, no, I'm just saying that we found a substitute. I was already about to tell boss about it."

Leonardo stood up right after he heard his steps echoing further. Still shell-shocked, still blue,

"He kicked me out for real real!?" He barely found the strength to speak up.

"Yeah you really fucked up this time."

"God I can't believe it." This time, Josh didn't stop him from hitting his head on the desk. He grabbed something instead.

"Cake?" At this, Leo raised his head to look. He gladly accepted the offer.

"How do you have all the good stuff here and we're feeding on, like, shrimps. Or scallops." 

"Frutti di mare. Luxury, and you're complaining?" 

"Tell that to this fish lady." He sent him a look filled with sorrow. "I'm a turtle. My brothers are swimming with those shrimps in the sea... What will come next? Turtle soup?" 

"We may not have thought about it at first, to be completely honest." They both took a bite of their pieces. "Yeah, no jokes, your boyfriend? This dude would actually eat a turtle soup out of curiosity." Yes he would. The thought alone was funny, but terrifying. 

After a while of thinking, Josh said something.

"You can always go and help Hueso in the kitchen. You don't have anything else to do, anyway." Help Hueso? Yeah, no, he was scary.

"But I'm a dancer! I wanna dance!"

"But, you said to your ex no-named boss that you need a break and you see going back to dance immediately isn't working for you. What will you do? Stay home and do nothing? Walk around and do nothing?" Well it was better than cleaning for two entire months. 

"What else can I do?" What was Kendra doing when she got banned? As far as he remembered, she was rarely present... 

"You can fill papers with Donatello or whatever he's doing right now. Stay by the desk with me, talk with clients or parents. Really cool job by the way. You can help the teachers. You can cook with Hueso. Or mix with Piel, even I do that sometimes, you know that. Everything! No one said it's illegal. And maybe you'll learn something." 

"But I really want to help them in choreo..."

"Ugh. Then," Josh had enough of him too, which was somehow special. "Don't cry about it. You'll live."

Donatello walked next to them. He wasn't going to stop in the first place but he did when he noticed Leo. 

"Oh, good to see you." And just like in the morning, there was something wrong with his gaze. 

"Should I hide again?" Leo asked Joshua to which he chuckled. Donatello sent them a confused look.

"No, I think you'll be good."

"Hi, Donatello." Leo spoke in a higher tone, tryna act innocent. "I hate to break it to you, but I was kicked out. Honest. And I'm ruined. You know?" He didn't look amused.

"Yeah, I heard..." He also didn't look very bothered by that... He just looked to the side.

"And now you'll bring Leo back to his group?" Well, judging on Donatello's sigh Leo could only guess he didn't intend to do that, not exactly...

"Actually..." Yeah, nothing to fight for. Leo knew his destiny. "I agree with Mike, Leo. I think you do need a break." So the boy didn't say anything. Still on the damn chair, still with a fork in his mouth, it was Josh who jabbed him with an elbow that woke him up a bit. 

"Maybe go talk to Hueso then..." Leo just blinked a few times.

"Oh, VR-sis..." And so he put the paper plate down and straightened his position. Well, he didn't have anything left to do... 

"If you want, I can give you like... Few days off. Then, you know. Maybe you won't participate in a show but there are still things to do." Yeah, no, thank you.

"Wha, as if I'm disabled! No no! I don't need that. I'll find myself a job." Leo crossed his arms. He could notice Joshua's faint smirk.

"Are you sure...?"

"Yeah. I can live on my own. I'm self-suffic... Suffe..."

"Sufficient." The oldest of the three helped.

"Exactly. Self-suffinanced." 

"Okay then..." And just like that, Donnie left them alone. Leon's confident smile faded immediately.

"He seems very cold towards me." Leo crossed his arms.

"Well you gave him quite a good amount of nerves. No surprises." Yeah, well, honest. But still. They were good, weren't they? What changed?

"Does he even love me still?" Leo asked, not really meaning it. He was playing with the fork in the cake, Josh wasn't exactly paying much attention to anything, just eating his own,

"More than you know." He answered casually, not thinking much. That was, until he shook his head and frowned a bit, his tone got more serious. "No, wait, what's that question? Leo, my dear friend I love you but you're just stupid sometimes." And it... Well, it caught him off guard!

"Huh?" 

Especially since Josh looked... Well, he really looked bothered. Irritated even. It didn't exactly suit him. 

"I mean it. You know he loves you and all. And you still ask, like, don't even know, like you're not sure of it. Heck man, confusing." But that was just a... Come on! Leo knew Donnie loved him. "And just so you know, if you say that you really aren't sure then it's worrisome." 

"Isn't it normal to have doubts?" He asked but not because he really had doubts, but he really heard it was normal. Nothing super special about it.

"You're both stupid." And what did Donnie do? "We're talking 'bout a fact, not an opinion. Donnie loves you. Fax! You think Donnie loves you. Khe khe, no no, opinion. Ya know?" What-

"What?!" 

"If you heard him tell you at least once that he loves you then it's undoubted. And he keeps telling you that. Now who are you to doubt his confession?" Yeah, well, he was right but again...

"Josh, this wasn't even a serious question."

"But these thoughts tend to appear in your head, I just know that." Damn.

And they were just sitting there, talking... Josh gave him quite a lecture about his feelings and behavior... Leo understood, but he didn't exactly know why Joshua cared so much. 

Well it was nice. It was until they heard Donnie's voice coming from the speakers.

'Leonardo, may I ask you to come to my office?'

And God Leo knew exactly why he'd chosen to not ask him that the easy way, AKA just going straight to the reception that was! So close to his office! But nooo, he was this cocky to do that. And imagine the look on Joshua's face. It felt like a walk of shame. 

★☆★

Do you remember the whole 'Funniest thing about working for your boyfriend' stuff? Leo thought it was going to look similar. They didn't have to be super professional around each other, the conversations could go a bit... Different, 

"Hi." That's why he wasn't even nervous about it. Maybe curious or a little confused, was it anyhow connected to his man's mood that day? He was about to find out.

"Hello, Leonardo." 

"Shag." He commented with a laugh. Full name? Good he didn't say Hamato. "Am I fucked?"

Donatello sighed and corrected his position. Leo decided to take a sit on the chair by the other side of the desk.

"You've got yourself in troubles." 

"Is this a boyfriend to boyfriend or a boss to an employee conversation?" He broke into a peal of laughter. "Because I don't know if I should laugh at your tries to keep a serious face or if you're-" Donatello cut him mid-sentence. 

"You know, as I'm your boss-"

"Ah." He giggled again.

"Don't interrupt me." And Leo immediately shut up. "I've got a call today. Some man called me, he said he owns some kind of club? Banks Brook street?" He was never this quick to straighten up. "Does it ring a bell?" 

"I'm listening..." The boy was serious now as well. 

"I've heard it was a serious problem. One girl missing, a window was broken, some serious costs... And for some weird reason... During all that, a young turtle had a passionate discussion with a security guard." Oof. 

How to handle it? How to explain it? 

He decided to break the ice with a joke.

"Yeah, sounds like the security wasn't secure enough..." But it didn't help.

"Leon." God- Leo hated that tone. "Weirdly. I heard that this one young turtle mentioned VR. And this one mention was enough for them to seek informations from me. About who you are, where you're from..." Of course. Fucking of course! He knew it would end like that! Why did he even mention the club? So they had better flow? So he was seen as better? Fucking great move! "How old you are. Or where you are... Studying?" Yeah this part was actually funny. (It was not.) 

"I can explain..." He really couldn't. 

"No... No, you won't explain anything because we already went through it. How many of these things wouldn't happen if you told me earlier?" Leo felt small.

No, literally. He hunched, his legs drawn close together and his arms tucked between his thighs; nothing about him exuded confidence.

"Nothing would've happened." He said very quietly. He wanted to look to the side but the gaze his boss was sending him felt hypnotizing.

"But now, you have problems. Because it seems like these guys are after you. And I won't even mention how harmful it can be for you and the entire club. And for me, probably. I suppose you can only guess that they don't like me that much." Leo sighed.

"You're mad at me." But once he said it, something in Donnie changed. There was a clear sign of hesitation in his eyes, but it vanished the moment he spoke.

"Yes. Yes, I am mad at you, I won't hide it. I've been mad at you since you came back home." Ouch. He hid it so well.

But Leo really tried to understand him. There was no point in being a douchebag.

"I... Know," He didn't, but it felt better now he actually found out. "And I think it's understandable... But I didn't know the consequences would be so hard. I'm sorry."

"This isn't my responsibility, you can be left with it all alone. You're an adult, this is your problem." Yeah. Now he knew how great it was. Sad that he had to learn it like that and even more sad that the reality was totally brutal. "Is that what you wanted? The responsibility that comes with being an adult?" 

"I... Sorry. I don't know what else I can say." Because what was he supposed to do, really? Repentance was all that was left.

"Maybe you should realize that those who help you and take care of you don't do it because they think you're not able to do it on your own," Leo felt the first tear run down his cheek. "But because they don't want to see you suffer. Or niggle." Yeah, he let out a sob. The jokes ended for good. "And sometimes it's better to not be left alone. Telling you, as a person who was alone." Oh, it hit hard.

Do you know what hurt the most? The fact that this loneliness was still visible in his eyes. Somehow, it was there.

"I know..." 

"And maybe I should give you that lesson. Let you take care of it all by yourself. I know you'd be able to." No, honestly, Leo wasn't able to. He wouldn't even know where to start. "But I won't, guess why. And this isn't a boss-employee thing." 

And Leo knew the answer. But it somehow was difficult to let it out.

"Come on, tell me. If you don't know the answer then I'll believe I'm doing something wrong." 

Leo took just a few more seconds, he cleared his throat. 

"Because you love me." 

"Exactly." Donnie's gaze softened. He tilted his head. "Come here. I can't keep myself collected anymore when I see you like that." And oh, Leo almost jumped off that chair to get close.

Donatello accepted him on his laps. He embraced him in a strong hug, Leo could finally breathe out. 

"I feel so stupid right now." And God he really did.

"This is not my motive to make you feel like that." Donnie said quietly. "But Leo, that was... Stupid. Yeah." 

Sometimes, he couldn't understand how Donatello was still able to put up with him after everything he'd done, really. But just like Josh said, Donnie's love was undoubted. And limitless. 

"How can you help me with that?" Donnie smiled and shook his head. 

"No, I already did. You should be thankful you have me." 

"I am." Leo blinked, his fingers tracing the shapes of Donatello's jaw. "But how?"

"Sometimes it really is all about the money," It's all about the money, he didn't think it was funny. Dum dum dada dum dum. "But I also needed help. Because yeah, like I said, it turned out these guys don't like me at all. Weird, I have no idea why, really," Yeah, this Leo heard... "But there is a woman I know who knows all them folks, and they trust her. So I asked for a favor, another one... And since she knew about you and everything that happened, it was the best thing I could do. And probably the only thing." Quite interesting, what was she thinking of Leo? And better question, who was this woman? "So I paid her for talking with them, and gave her money to solve it," Paid?

"This doesn't sound like a healthy relation." Welp, friends usually don't accept payments for favors? 

"And it isn't. It's business." Aha. Maybe. Leo shook his head abashed. "Yeah, you're quite expensive." It was just dumb.

"I'm sorry." He admitted, quite dejected. With both his hands he embraced Donnie's face, looking deep into his eyes.

"Remember why I did it." So Leo leaned closer to steal a kiss from him.

"Yeah, I wouldn't be able to handle it on my own." 

"No, I think you would be able to. Sure it would take a debt, few stitches, bandages here and there and few visits to hospital but you'd live." Leo laughed out loud, it felt better than crying. Donnie smiled only for a while because soon after - His face showed seriousness again, he said: "It sounds like a joke but it isn't, really. Maybe don't do that again." Yeah, actually, it sounded quite terrifying. 

"I won't..." Lee chuckled and took a deep breath. His face relaxed. "I'm sorry I made you mad." 

"We're good."

★☆★

Thursday. 

They both awaited this moment like a sinner waits for sentencing. When Donatello received the message, he knew it would be one of the most unpleasant discussions of his life. There was nothing complicated about it, they both knew what would happen, why, and for what purpose.

The hardest moment was yet to come: looking into each other's eyes. And that moment finally arrived. At exactly one post meridiem, as they had agreed, she came to his office.

"Sunita." He greeted her coldly, and her response seemed to be cloaked in a similar tone.

"Donatello." 

"I hope you know what it means. Why you're here, I mean." 

"Yes. And I hoped it would never happen." 

"It didn't have to happen." He said with a sigh. The woman winced, overwhelmed by a surge of emotions.

"Spare me the talk, pacify me. I don't need that. We both... We both know what should I do, I mean," But there was something.

"I thought you're my friend." And it seemed as though that was exactly what she had been waiting to hear. Her eyes opened wide, her expression softened but there was fear in her gaze.

"We still can be friends." Like a chance she had been counting on, something she could still profit from.

"No, I don't think so." It wasn't his motive in the first place. "A friend doesn't do things like that. A friend wouldn't hide these things from me, a friend wouldn't betray me." 

"I never had bad intentions." He'd heard it already. 

He looked away. It felt like all the positive feelings associated with the girl had disappeared, long forgotten, rest in peace. 

"You need therapy. I'm being genuine." 

"Don't you feel bad? Tearing it all down? You really won't give me a second chance?" He didn't know if she was trying to trap him or if she genuinely felt sorry.

"But how can I trust you after it all?" But it seemed like she didn't care about this friendship at all, more about the position. "And don't you dare manipulate me like that. I'm not the one who's tearing things down, you did it to yourself." 

"So this is the end." 

"Yes." He agreed.

"I see you're very sad about it." 

"Stop it, Sunita, you have no idea how I feel. You're the last to talk." 

The girl took one last look at the framed photo of the crew.

"Can I at least say bye? To everyone?" She said quietly, almost inaudible. 

"Yeah. I guess."

"And what about my students?" As if she cared at all.

"Cassandra's taking care of them."

"Good. I was ready to guess that Leo will have them." He had enough of this bullshit. 

"As far as I know, Leo isn't a teacher."

"Everything's possible nowadays." Such a creative way of choosing words. 

Donatello hesitated, unsure whether it was worth asking her what her life was like now - or if she feared any other consequences from her actions. In the end, if anything were to happen, he’d likely be one of the first to know. There was an unspoken weight, something tugging at him... For now, though, Sunita and their shared history felt more like a chapter from the past, distant and fading. 

"Goodbye, Sunita."

Throughout our existence, we meet countless people. Each one brings new memories, flavors we taste for the first time, places we visit, and music we discover. When we start talking to them more, when we become part of each other's lives, and when we get comfortable around them, that's when we're spending hours on phonecalls, texting... We don’t stop to think that it could all end one day - just as we don’t imagine how someone so close to us could ever cause us harm.

Until the moment when we have to clean up. Take out the trash. Usually we don't do it right away, we empty the bin only when it starts to stink, rot, when it becomes noticeable. Who would think that this person we are so close to could dirty our well-being? It's just a shame that actually taking out the trash is easier than getting rid of a person from our lives.

Because we start to think about it. The moment we met them, all the times we supported each other, the mistakes we made, and our successes. How many people we both had close relationships with and things we shared with them. We remember all the memories we were certain we'd already forgotten about. And of course, the hesitation - Is it correct? Is it worth tearing it down? But then we realize... Life suddenly becomes lighter. We become aware of all the signals they sent us before, we see their bad sides, and account for all the hurtful words we heard from them. The actions that somehow affected our well-being, made our condition worse. All those things that didn't let us breathe.

And suddenly, we're totally chill. Alright with the fact that there is no longer someone who will whisper negatives in our ears. Someone with whom we have to pretend to be somebody else. This person who messes up our space. And when they ask us if this is how it ends, if it's not a mistake, if maybe we should think twice, we can nod our heads and breathe out.

Getting rid of people with whom we don't feel safe is an act of self-care.

★☆★

Friday.

We already know a lot of things. Some kind of rules for all the newest people in the game called life, there is a ton. For example, nothing that's dry is good (Except the dusting. It's a very important detail.), that you don't drink beverages while talking with unpredictable people, 

and that when there's someone leaving the team, everyone has to agree with their decision (Or the boss'. It's basically the same thing if you think about it.) 

But that rule never included Sunita, because oh! This place was about to blow when they all heard it! What does it mean? Can you trust anyone at all? What if it was all just a coalition? You must think twice about it! If she's leaving, I'm leaving! What about the people? What about the shows? 

Did Leo kill Sunita?

Did you watch The Phantom of the Opera? Now think about this one scene when they all realized the Primadonna won't sing again. We must close! Church, alert the elders! Evacuate the children! But no, no, Christine Daae can sing it! Leave it all to the main character. And who became the main character of the whole spectacle? 

Guess.

But Leo won’t be singing anything, nor will he be dancing. Basically, if you were to put it in one simple sentence, you'd say that Leo just became the club’s greatest adversary. Yeah, he was a Judas. A traitor. A special agent sent to spy on Sunita, just to catch her making a mistake and ultimately get her to lose her position. Oh, and he killed her, of course.

Leo didn’t know what to do. Everywhere he went, he just received strange glances. The existence of gossip was indisputable. Sure, he could ignore it and mind his own business, like wet sponges and dirty floors, but...

It got overwhelming. 

So, he decided to hide in the club’s basement, in places he didn’t have to clean or even touch. He wasn’t even sure if it was okay for him to hang around there, but right now, the most messed-up place in this space was his mind.

He didn't want to go back upstairs, he wasn't even sure if he wanted to show up to anyone in the nearest few months but. Ugh. 

It felt like he lost everything. One friend was bearable, a ban from dancing was harsh. His reputation decreasing from low to the rock bottom was horrific, and God, he wished he could just talk with April for a moment.

He heard a noise followed by another one, steps getting closer and closer, he didn't recognize it. Whoever it was, they probably had the same or even less rights to be there. 

He poked his head up from behind the boxes that had hidden his silhouette until now and realized it was no one else but Cassandra. She barely noticed him when she shouted:

"You're a coward." It weirded him out. 

"...Thanks?" 

The girl walked up closer.

"I trust you. Or at least as much as I can. I don't trust people basically but, yeah, I guess I'm on your side." It was bizzare how ahead of herself she was, no 'hello', no 'how are you', no 'fuck you', what a motherfucker of a woman.

But as far as he understood, she already knew this story - or at least part of it. Of everyone else, she was the one who knew best that Leo had to face the consequences. Everyone else believed he didn’t have a real job anyway.

"But you're gonna have to gain the trust from others in a different way, huh." He was willing to wait for it.

"How do I do it?"

"Let's clean up here." He thought she just wanted to distract him.

"How do I-" But she just quickly grabbed him up by the wrists and forced the cloth in his hands.

"If you want to be a part of community," She started, taking a puff from the vape. "You have to follow the rules." And she looked at him with something interesting in her eye. 

"Rules, like?" 

"There are some things that our dear Josh and Donnie can't know. And I know it will be hard for you," She sighed. "But if you want to get closer to others, you have to know not to spill all the gossips. Can you do that?" Uh. 

And how much of that was against his own morality?

"I... Think I can," He answered, little anxious. Cass was quick to ease his hesitations, she smiled lightly. 

"I don't mean it in the Sunita's 'Do dangerous shit and not tell anyone' way. I mean it in the, you know, 'We left the party without paying for our drinks' way." Ah, okay, this was more pleasant.

"Yes, that's possible."

She found herself in an old training room, probably unused for ages - full of broken equipment and old crash mats. Leo followed her all the way to the back, trying to ignore the stickiness of the dust.

"This shit is probably worth a lot, even broken. Just saying, if you need more cash. No one's gonna notice if it's missing... And you can get richer." It looked like Cass truly was skilled - She could juggle with those little speakers in hands as if it were ping-pong balls. Define aura.

"Do others know about it?" Leo was scanning each object carefully, looking around the room.

"...Most of them do?" And she just dropped the speaker to the floor without thinking of consequences - Which wouldn't come, anyways. "I've seen them smoking here sometimes. When it's cold and no one wants to go outside. I've counted two radios missing, a bag of bits and pieces... Wouldn't be surprised to see it all on the repo man's landfill." Interesting, he was curious how often she'd come here. Leo didn't see her during breaks. 

If VR existed years ago, this would probably be the place where teenagers would read all them banned books and dance in 'inappropriate' - Like them old folks would say - Way. 

A moment of lurking through the basement and they ended up in the bar, ready to empty the bins. All this garbage was heavy like hell but it seemed like the girl found it less difficult than him, it amazed the turtle. She was so damn cool.

"Another news," And just as she did it earlier with the speaker - This time, she threw an empty bottle up in the air just to catch it before it fell. Leo already saw it breaking in front of his eyes. "Do you remember emptying the bottles after shows?" Leo nodded, Cassandra sent him a knowing smirk. "They do that all the time, not only after the shows. Before trainings, during trainings, some of them bottles are filled with vodka, not water." She chuckled. This was... Surprising, yes. But now he thought of it, it made sense. "Which is totally against the rules of course. Have you ever drank during job?" She asked, this caught him off guard. He nodded yes, then he shook his head as no, then he spoke. 

"Not here... But it happened in my previous job." He cleared his throat. "Kept happening." 

"So you should understand." She winked. "What's the most against the rules thing you did here?" The most? Well, if we're talking about morals? Dating the boss. If we're talking about real rules, well,

"Stole full bags of food? I don't know." He couldn't think of anything better.

Yeah, Leo kinda missed the better side of this friendship with Sunita.

"Does Donatello know about it?" 

"Yeah, but it made him laugh. He's mostly chill about everything, really." Cass nodded hesitantly, then she shrugged. It seemed like she wasn't so sure of that.

This conversation he had with Cassandra opened his eyes a bit, mostly about that - Let's name it - other side of the club. Maybe he really should spend more time with them. He was curious about some people, others that irritated him with no real reason... But he wanted to know them! He wanted to be a part of it, to know the stories, duh, to create the stories!

They cleaned the bigger half of the hall. And thank God because earlier? You couldn't even see the floor and now, just another few minutes and you'd be able to eat straight from it.

(Please don't do that. Leo will probably be the one to clean it after.)

Cass said her goodbye before the clock hit two, her students were about to arrive in a moment. She told Leo that he could come with her one day, see how it looks like, maybe help them learning,

He hoped he would.

★☆★

Saturday.

By the end of the week Leo had to restock all the missing supplies in the 'party hole', make sure everything was in its right place, arrange important equipment, check the lighting. Toby had promised to come and help him - And he did! - Just before four post meridiem. On a normal day, Leo would have been home by now, but...

Let's just say he still had a long way 2 go.

"Will I be the one to clean after the party?" He asked the fox after a long time of silence. Right now they were checking if the speakers were working.

"Depends. Are you going to stay for the party?"

"I don't know... I know Donnie won't be there." He shrugged. He didn't know if it was correct to go without Dona. Especially since Donnie had been complaining about needing a long rest.

"Sooo... Yes, you will clean." Toby answered IMMEDIATELY, Leo blinked a few times, confused. "Or you can join us, grab a drink with us, dance with us... And you won't have to clean." He sent him a smile of a cold motherfucker. 

"Is that another part of the rules?" Honestly, he was lost.

"Nope! I'm manipulating you to join us." Oh, was that grin necessary? "Not really. But we'd appreciate it if you stayed." He chuckled.

This... Was somehow nice. Someone really wanted him to stay for the party? It mattered a lot.

Maybe he really could go? As for the integration with others. It's a shame Donnie didn't want to, it would be cool if he decided to come, but... He would agree for Leo to go, right?

But wasn't it tactless? Would he even agree to something like that, after everything what happened? 

Alright, this entire conversation with Cass... Talk more with people, blah, blah. But he had time for that, right? It's not like the community will run away. So the thought lingered unanswered somewhere in the depths of his brain. It wasn't until afternoon when Leo came to Donnie's office - Without a specific reason, probably just to look at him - And he found the answer in his eyes. Their spark didn't change at all, there was still some sadness hidden behind... And this unexplainable gaze somehow looked like it wanted to keep Leo near.

On one hand, the neon lights seemed to call out, begging you to lift your voice, free your mind, and join the thrumming energy underground. Yet the ambience of the day was serene, one of those rare, quiet moments shared with the people closest to you. Perhaps with good food on the table, a steaming cup of tea, or even a glass of mulled wine. 

Leon smiled to himself, and his grin brightened further when his gaze fell upon the golden glow of the desk lamp illuminating the face of his dream of a man. God, he was astonishing.

Yes, he definitely knew what he wanted to do. The idea of spending the night on the dancefloor was tempting, of course! But every moment spent with Donatello was infinitely more alluring. And! Leonardo was up to something. He’d been planning it for quite some time, and today? Today was the perfect occasion to finally bring his vision to life.

So he pulled out the iconic '(Mr. Stark,) I don't feel so Good' followed by 'Can I leave earlier?' Because what was there left for him to do on a saturday afternoon? He had already cleaned what he had to clean, slayed what he wanted to slay. And Donnie asked him multiple times if he needed help with anything, if it was something serious, Leo just smiled nicely and explained that noo, he'll be alright. Yes. 

He already had the entire plan and all, he was thinking about it for quite a good amount of time, he just needed a few adjustments, that's all... 

★☆★

Of course Donnie was worried. And of course it sounded weird coming out of Leon's mouth so suddenly, it's not like he had been complaining earlier, he even said that he 'felt better than ever' this morning. 

But there was also this playful gleam in him, something that just shouted 'I'm planning something. Do not disturb me'. And Donatello wondered, should he worry? Should he be more cautious, maybe? But Leo wouldn't do anything stupid after everything that happened, he knew for sure. In the end, the guilt was real. (Right?)

So yeah, if he was planning something - Lord make it good. And if he wasn't; means he really didn't feel alright - Then Donatello felt just obliged to give him something, an act of love, you know? Win-win. And maybe cuddles later. 

But he did not want to go way over the border of sanity, especially since Leo appreciated these small things way more than overly expensive stuff, Donatello bought him a flower bouquet. And a bar of his favorite chocolate. 

Even tho he had quoted this one Ariana Grande's song way too many times now (Or should he say Nicki Minaj?) - We all know which one - But! Leo was a fucking hypocrite, of course he can say that he doesn't need them thousand roses but the very next day he will daydream about having a pseudo garden full of aromas and scents in their living room, y'know? That's his romantic, french inspired Sade listener girl era.

But he miscalculated a lot - Definitely not in the direction he thought. Because it quickly turned out that the boy had come up with something much more surprising - More, more, more.

He knew that Leo felt bad for being absent on his birthday... Donnie wasn't sure if Leo ever mentioned it, but it was visible. And his behavior was bizzare, for a long time period he was running back and forth doing God knew what, asking questions, then disappearing to, like he said, 'Improve his drawing skills' (He couldn't draw to save his life! Truly couldn't, even a tree drawn by his hand looked worse than this made by a three years old, it looked more like a balloon about to explode!) And he tried to support him... Or at least wanted to try because Leo said he will show him no shit. 

And well, he was about to see today.

Leo prepared him a surprise - And decorated the house in sweet heart-shaped balloons, some wall decorations and Donnie wanted to cry... 

But his amazement and surprise meant nothing, because Leonardo made a big fuss about the fact that Donatello had the audacity to buy him flowers on his day! Of course, Donnie couldn’t help but laugh—it was all in good fun, with a playful and sweet undertone. There was no real irritation or negative emotion, because, deep down, they both knew the truth: even if Leo didn’t need it, he definitely wanted those thousand roses.

★☆★

They had exchanged laughs and jokes about telepathy - after all, it was rare for both of them to buy flowers at the same time. Once the initial excitement settled, it was time for the real presents - something he was a bit nervous about. Not because he doubted Leo, but because he’d never really received gifts before. Well, maybe except for last christmas. And the ones from Josh, which - surprisingly, for a guy with terrible taste and a questionable sense of humor - had been pretty spot on, wow.

But how was he supposed to know how to react? Especially since the gifts from Leo... were very special.

Leo mentioned that he wanted to bake a cake but! Apparently he could not and 'didn't want to poison the man'... So bakery it was. And Donatello didn't exactly fancy sugary stuff but in this case it was different. Then? He went to look for most random stuff and he found something, like he said, necessary for every chief, a cup to be exact, can you already guess? #1 Boss. But not only that because he also wanted to customize it a bit and with a marker, he wrote '& Boyfriend :)', all capital letters, as clean as possible because he might have gotten some kind of an insecurity over his handwriting. It didn't change the fact that it was very fucking cute.

Fun fact, he admitted that this idea slipped his mind because of the broken mug incident from earlier. Dumbass.

But the final point came with the main gift - Aka the result of this constant pseudo scribbling, blah blah blah. Because in reality, all this time he was preparing him a handmade gift that seriously crushed his heart - in a good way. And the boy started explaining that 'he knew it was such a terrible cliché', that 'everyone had already seen it' and that 'he was a good 5 years late', that, as he put it, 'it's giving VSCO' (the fuck was vsco?) and that he had actually figured it out earlier (what the hell was that about?) but didn't want to throw it away because it was too much work, blah, blah, blah. And what are we talking about?

Remember this 'writing mode'?

★☆★

The idea of final late-gift appeared out of absolute nowhere. He was thinking, maybe signet rings? Other kind of jewelry? But it didn't make much sense, Donnie's hands were fully covered in rings and there was no place for yet another one. Also, Leo had no fucking knowledge about it, were they anyhow symbolic? What was good, what was bad? Also #2, Donnie already bought him a promise ring thank you very much, Leo doing a similar thing was all but creative.

Then he thought, Donnie loved flowers. And sure, in the end he bought these flowers but... They're just flowers! A big, capital X and even Bigger D. But on sunday, after the conversation with the boys: His head was filled with just one thought. 

What can he do to prove his love for Donnie?

And a quick note - because if Joshua heard it, he’d probably have a heart attack. 'You cannot just prove it like that.' Come on, that wasn’t the point.

Leo really wanted Donnie to feel appreciated, to know that everything he was doing was special. To understand that Leo saw the love Donnie was embracing him with. And if any moment of hesitation ever came, Donnie would know that he is loved. Was loved. Will be loved.

No matter what. No one else held this place in Leo’s heart. Donnie was the number one, and every number before and after.

And so he thought - A jar.

No, really. And before anyone talks about Jar of Hearts (Is there anyone who doesn't know this one exact Christina Perri's song?) But a jar of... Reasons?

Three hundreds sixty five reasons why I love you - But this wasn't even what it sounded like as the one and only reason was just Donnie. Just him, only him and as much as him. Christ, he could go the easy way. I love you, because you're with me when you're not with me, all the rainbows, roses and deers making a flower path arount the aura of my zodiac sign, stop talking, it's not that.

All this time Leo had been collecting every memory they had. Some more, some less serious. Talking about the latter:

• I loved you the moment you accidentally hit me with your knee while I was giving you a head. (And I'm still sorry that I almost bit your dick off.)
• I loved you the moment we competed to see who can burp louder.
• I loved you the moment you accidentally hit my head with an electric fly swatter. 

There were also the sad ones:

• I love that you took care of me when I was at my worst after what happened in august.
• I love that, despite everything you've been through and the bad memories that still haunt you to this day, you were still able to open up to me. You trusted me enough to be your true, real, and beautifully authentic self.
• I love that even when you're the one laying on the ground, defeated, it's still me and my safety that matters the most to you. (And it also frustrates me a lot, take care of yourself darling. Please.)

Things he did that basically screamed softness and cuteness:

• I love when you're doing a research on iconic pop culture-related incidents I refer to during our conversations
• I love when you leave me an 'I love you' written on the fogged up mirror after you leave the shower.
• I love when you're waking me up with kisses in the morning. (And I'm sorry I always yell at you that I want a few more minutes of sleep.)

And things he noticed during this entire week:

• I love when we're fooling around while making brebreakfast
• I love you when you're yapping about your day, whether it was good or not.
• I love you when you're trying to act serious, and I love you when you are serious. 
• I love you when you're honest about all your emotions... And I'm sorry that sometimes I hurt your feelings. 
• I love it when I sit on your knees and you're holding me, keeping me close to your heart.
• I love that you accept all my flaws, you make me wanna be a better person.

But it's just fifteen out of other three hundreds sixty five notes, every one of them honest, every one of them written with lots of love. Christ, he felt dumb... It was too easy, wasn't it? What if Donnie pulled the 'I ain't reading all that' card? He had more important stuff to do than-

But he was extremely quick to calm his nerves and uncertainty, and his reaction was worthy of another note in the jar.

With each passing second, Leo saw more and more things he loved about Donatello.

★☆★

But honestly... It wasn't all. Leo knew that there was still one important detail lingering in the air - And no gift could ever cover it. Donatello had already told him how he felt, let all the emotions out and Leo... His apologies meant nothing next to all the guilt that still poisoned his heart. 

"Donnie, I wanted to tell you something." He started at one point. "I... I just hope you're aware that you're the most important person in my life, ever." Donnie was listening carefully, no intentions of interrupting the boy. "And I mean it. I... What I wanted to say is that I'm sorry. I know you were scared, worried. I know you were disappointed. And I know I did a very stupid thing and... And I also know that I already told you that, but I am genuine. I can't look at myself in the mirror without feeling shame." It was the moment when Leo expected Donnie to say something, it didn't happen. He was still quiet, looking once at the boy, once at his own hands, once at the gifts. Leonardo cleared his throat. "I know that you care. You care a lot, Jesus, and I was an idiot for believing in what... She, was telling me... But trust me. You are my everything. I wanna make it up to you somehow, I wish I could do something to-" And Donatello answered him without the need of using any words. He simply grabbed Leo's chin, tilted it closer and leaned forward to kiss Leo long, allowing his tongue to slip inside. 

It caught him off guard. He had no idea it would have got him in such a chokehold, come on, it wasn't even a big deal but... Damn, he felt how his face became warmer.

"Thank you." Donnie whispered lightly after he broke the kiss. Leo's reaction? His eyes were opened wide and was visibly unable to answer, his face red as a tomato.

"That was hot." Leo said finally. "But I was being for real."

"No, I know." And they kissed again. "And I appreciate it. You don't have to do anything." Leo smiled into his lips. "Just don't leave me."

"You don't leave me." The boy chuckled.

"Why would I ever?" And they were ready to go all-in again, fully immersed, when the sharp sound of a phone ringing cut through the moment. Leo felt his heart leap into his throat - for no reason at all! They weren’t doing anything wrong; they were in their own house, after all. But the way Donnie immediately pulled away, almost instinctively, made Leo suspect he felt the same way.

It took the boy a moment to process what he was seeing on the screen. Instead of answering, he simply turned it toward Donnie. Their gazes flicked back and forth between the screen and each other’s faces, over and over, until the phone stopped ringing.

"Why didn't you answer?" Donnie asked and Leo just shrugged.

"I have more important things in mind now." And he breathed out with a smile,

You missed a phonecall from April.

He waited for that, too. God damn it, he waited long enough so the need almost disappeared. And, honestly? He didn't want to talk about it just now. It could wait, he turned the phone off for good.  

Leonardo pulled Donatello close, wrapping his arms tightly around his shoulders. With a swift motion, he drew him down onto the couch, making Donnie fall on top of him. Leo then wrapped his legs around Donatello’s waist, closing any remaining space between them.

In a room full of people with you

I don't see anybody else, no

When we fight, and you're right

So sorry, I make it just so difficult

But I'm not just a fuck-up, I'm the fuck-up you love

We ain't like nobody else, tell me so what

Perfectly imperfect, yeah, baby, that's us

Let me wrap myself around you, baby

Let me tell you you are everything, you are

Losing my words, I don't know where to start

But baby, don't leave me