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You'll Hold Me Like You'll Never Let Me Go

Summary:

"...You are far too beautiful to leave me." -The Oh Hellos

Magnus wakes up on a regressed day and spends the day with Julia.

Notes:

For those mad at me for misinterpreting The Oh Hellos lyrics, it's my fic and I can do what I want.
As with most people in this fandom, highly inspired by the works of McSnuggles.
Please be nice, it's my first time writing agere content!

Work Text:

Magnus did not know when he had started regressing. It wasn't in his teen years, but when he tried to think past that, his mind skipped over it, filled with static. It always made his head hurt so he decided it was best if he didn't explore that avenue. 

He also knew that at one point, he had even had caregivers before. He couldn't remember their names or faces, but he was ok with assuming that was because his thoughts got all fuzzy when he was small. But sometimes he woke up and regressed quickly, and burst out into his living room, expecting people to be able to dote on him and play with him and make him food. 

But there was no one, and on weekdays he had to call in sick to work, trying his very best to sound big. It had only happened once and Steven had answered, so Magnus was sure he had come across perfectly like he was grown and NOT some little kid. 

But this morning, as Magnus woke up, he could tell he was going to have to call out of work again. His dreams had been full of static and he felt as if he was dying when he woke up. That had led quickly to him whimpering in his bed, holding onto a ragged stuffed animal that he didn't remember buying and sucking his thumb. 

He could almost hear someone's aloof but still somehow caring voice tell him to not suck on his thumb. "You're going to mess up your teeth." 

"Sorry," Magnus said to the empty space by his bed. "Sorry." He was hoping that this would be quick, that it would work its way out of his system within an hour or two so he could still go to work and see Julia. He loved Julia. She had big bouncy curls of red hair and the most prettiest smile and he wanted to see her. She always made him feel better. 

But as an hour passed and he still couldn't get out of bed, Magnus sighed and grabbed his stone of farspeech. He practiced a few times what he was going to say in his grown-up voice and then tuned his stone to the shop's frequency. 

"Hello?" Magnus' bravery abandoned him. That was Julia, not Steven. 

"Jules." Magnus managed in a voice that wavered between big and most definitely not. 

"Magnus? Are you ok?"

Magnus didn't know how to respond. "Dunno."

"Ok, I'll be right over." Julia hung up and Magnus set down the stone, cradling his little stuffed animal (a dog, naturally) to his chest. It felt like forever until he heard a knock at the door and then a key turning in the lock. "Magnus? Are you there?"

"I'm in bed." Magnus managed, although he had abandoned sounding like a grown-up at all. 

Julia knocked on his bedroom door too before coming in. Magnus nervously sucked his thumb and rocked back in forth. Julia paused, assessing the situation, and then her face softened. "Hey, sweetie."

Magnus' face lit up and he made grabby hands for her. She smiled and sat next to him on the bed. "Jules!!" He swooped her up into a hug and she laughed. She kissed his cheek and nose.

Julia pulled back and made a serious face. "Can you tell me what's going on, Maggie?" The new nickname made Magnus clap his hands, happy. 

"Woke up. Bad dreams. Head foggy." He looked at her and then leaned in conspiratorially. "I'm not really my age right now."

"I can tell!" Julia laughed but it was good natured. "I'm just really glad you're not hurt." She brushed Magnus' hair with her hand. "Have you eaten anything, sweetheart?"

Magnus shook his head. "Too hard." Julia made a small noise and kissed the top of his head. 

"I will make you something. Do you think you can get dressed and come out to the main room?" Magnus nodded, face hidden in her curls. Julia squeezed him gently towards him and then let go, despite his whine of protest. "I'll just be in the kitchen, ok?"

She left, leaving the door open in case he needed anything. Magnus took a moment to stretch but then rolled out of bed. His head felt foggy and it felt so hard to think. But Julia was here, and that made everything ok. Magnus smiled and grabbed a quilt off of his bed, wrapping it around himself before grabbing his stuffed dog. 

He toddled out to the couch, slower than his usual pace. He was at the younger side of his age regression age-range, and didn't have a lot of energy. Magnus' head was still stuffy with static and he was having a hard time staying present. 

He didn't realize just how much he was struggling with it until Julia was kneeling in front of him. "Hey, baby. You back with me?" Magnus nodded, finding that his voice was not working. "What do you need right now?" Shrug. "Ok, that's ok. I don't want you getting dehydrated." She held up a cup with a straw. "I'll hold the cup, just take little sips. I don't want you to choke." 

Julia brushed some hair out of Magnus' face as he drank the juice. His eyes were soft, it was a strange look on the battle-hardened fighter. She kissed his forehead and took the empty cup away from him. 

"I'll go get your food, you just wait here ok?" Magnus nodded. "Do you have a toy or anything to play with in the meantime?" Magnus held up the stuffed dog. "Oh what a lovely dog! Does your dog have a name?" Magnus tried to think but then shook his head. "That might be a fun thing to think about while you wait for your food!"

Magnus tried his very best to think of a good name for the dog but everytime he thought he had a good one, it disappeared like static in his mind. It was incredibly frustrating and Magnus ended up feeling like he was going to cry. 

He hadn't lived in Raven's Roost for very long it felt like, and he had trouble remembering names and keeping track of faces. There was a part of his brain that was convinced that all people were static, and he couldn't describe it, but that feeling increased dramatically when he was small. But Julia didn't feel that way. She felt safe in the same way his past caretakers that he couldn't really remember felt safe. 

Julia hummed a little bit as she brought out some chicken nuggets and apple slices for the kiddo. Magnus grinned up at her and she ruffled his hair a little bit. 

"Eat up, small one." Julia had her own plate of food and she kept an eye on Magnus as he ate. He started slowly, still feeling somewhat upset to his stomach by his nightmares, but soon found that he was very hungry and dug in. 

After lunch, Magnus was feeling a lot better. Julia smiled. "So I'm going to run over to the shop to grab you a present, ok?" Magnus nodded, excited about the idea of a present. 

She was only gone for a minute or two, arriving back with a mysterious box. Magnus toddled over to her, still clutching his stuffed animal in his arms. 

"This is a really simple toy, but we have a lot of them, so Dad doesn't mind if I take one at all." Julia opened the box to reveal oddly shaped painted wood stones. "They're for stacking, but they're really fun!"

Magnus, still non-speaking, clapped and grabbed the box from Julia with a smile. He took it to the table and started playing with it. 

Time flew by, with Julia pushing a snack and a drink of juice every once in a while, until it was time for lunch. The whole time, Magnus was obsessed with making the biggest tower, or spelling his name, or making a picture. 

"Lunch time!" Julia swooped in and tickled Magnus. She helped him up and they went into the kitchen, where she had made PB J sandwiches for the both of them. 

Magnus was quiet during lunchtime, and Julia noted that he was surprisingly a very neat eater. 

"What do you want to do next, Maggie?"

Magnus spoke with his mouth still full of food. "Naptime?"

"Sounds good."

Julia cleared away the plates while Magnus got into bed. She went to tuck him in but he tugged at her sleeve. 

"Stay?"

"Ok." Julia climbed into bed with Magnus, who immediately curled up into her side. It was nice and warm and the room wasn't too bright, and the two fell asleep almost instantly. 

 

Julia was woken by a gentle poke on her cheek. She opened her eyes to see Magnus there, about to poke her again. "Hey Maggie, what's up?"

"All done with nap! Wanna color." Magnus explained. 

"Sounds like a plan!" Julia made the bed while Magnus grabbed his coloring supplies and went into the living room. 

The afternoon passed quickly, Magnus absorbed entirely into his coloring. He explained in detail why he had chosen each and every color and chattered away endlessly. He even drew a picture for Julia, who oohed and ahed and promised to hang it on her fridge. Julia had to really try to get his attention to get him to drink water and have a snack, but as soon as he was finished, it was right back to drawing. 

The sun sank lower and lower in the sky and Magnus grew quieter and quieter, soon resting his head on his hand. 

In the darkness, Julia lit the lanterns in the house and Magnus yawned, fighting sleepiness. 

"Come on, kiddo, it's time for bed." Julia grabbed the stuffed dog and quilt. "I'll read you a story if you pick one out."

Magnus cheered. He ran into the bedroom and grabbed his favorite book. 

Julia tucked him in and then sat next to him in the bed. Magnus wiggled until he was cuddled into her side and she kissed his head softly. "Alright, Guess How Much I Love You."

Magnus was asleep in minutes, face tangled in Julia's curls. She smiled and kissed his forehead again. "Goodnight Maggie. I'll see you tomorrow."