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When Wei thought about it, he could pinpoint the moment when it started. Fascination. Intrigue. He hadn’t felt those things in a while. But he was aware of his own curiosity as he sat opposite a slumped Chan Chun in the coffee shop where they’d both wound up after following Officer Wai King Ho. Detective Chan had his own reputation. He was a good cop, cleared a healthy number of cases, was well-liked at the department. He was a brawler too, a risk-taker that would rub Wei the wrong way. In the past six months, Chan had fallen into a self-destructive cycle. Wei wasn’t much for gossip, but he’d heard about Chan’s personal tragedy. Who hadn’t? Grief was etched in every line in his body, in the unkempt stubble on his jaw. But beneath that layer of mourning, Wei could see the burning desire for revenge, coiled and waiting to erupt. It made his heartbeat quicken. Yes, Chan Chun fascinated and intrigued him.
The two of them met regularly now. At first, it was just for the monthly dinners with Grandma Wai. Those dinners eventually became bi-monthly; now they’re almost weekly. But aside from the family get-together, they had dinner or drinks on their own, sometimes after work, usually on the weekends. They also dropped by Grandma’s whenever they could and not just for the dinners. They both had keys to her apartment and crashed in the spare bedrooms when needed. (Wei took Tat’s room, while Chun took Ho’s.)
Tonight, they were on the outdoor patio of Chun’s apartment. Wei believed that one’s surroundings were a reflection of one’s state of mind. In Chun’s case, that belief was manifest. Since he’d avenged his fiancée’s death and helped bring the mercenary group to justice, it was as if he’d flipped a switch and put his life back together. There were still traces of his fiancée in the apartment – she’d been a fashion designer – but the place was clean, orderly, and homely again. Not quite at Wei’s own anal retentive standards, but he couldn’t expect that (nor did he want to). He didn’t ask about what happened to the unfinished bridal gown that used to dominate the living room, haunting Chun with its mere presence and trapping him in the past. He was just content that it had been put away and that Chun had moved on with his life.
It was nearing the one-year anniversary of the armored truck robbery, but Chun wasn’t bothered by it. No, it was Wei who was feeling weighed down.
“When are you re-joining the force?” he asked abruptly.
Dinner was over, the dishes cleaned and put away. They were lounging on the picnic bench, beers in hand. Chun had put his legs up on the low ledge of the roof. Wei sat beside him.
“That again?” Chun sounded amused. “I told you. I like what I do.”
Chun worked for himself now. He’d gone into the private sector and did a combination of investigation and security. He still enjoyed the sleuthing of detective work, but it was the private security jobs that often brought in the big bucks. Wei thought it was inevitable that Chun would put his own team together, but Chun seemed content with the freelance work and being a one-man show. That was something Wei could relate to.
“Forget about me,” Chun was saying. ‘We should be toasting to you.” He held up his beer bottle. “Finally promoted back to inspector where you belong.”
Wei accepted the toast with a clink of his bottle and a wry smile. Chun was right. It’d been a slog to get back his position, but worth it. He was back in the Serious Crimes Unit and his traffic patrol days were long behind him . . . again.
“You could be my partner,” Wei told him, after taking a long draught.
Chun almost choked out a laugh. “You think we could work together?” he teased.
“I know we could,” Wei replied, a tad too seriously.
Chun’s amused smile softened around the edges and he nodded, accepting the statement.
“I’m not giving up on you,” Wei added.
“Yeah, yeah,” Chun said, bumping Wei’s shoulder. “Have more beer.”
Wei acquiesced. He was halfway through his bottle before he said, “When are you going to start dating again?”
This time, Chun really did choke. He shot Wei a semi-incredulous, semi-annoyed look. “Are you Grandma?” he asked. “Isn’t it enough that I get that from her?”
Wei shrugged. “Just wondering.” He paused. “So, are you? Going to start dating again?”
The look of incredulity turned into a laugh of incredulity. Wei tried not to stare too openly, but it was in these unguarded moments that he felt his attraction to Chun acutely.
“Forget about my love life,” Chun replied. “How about you? When are you and Lan getting married?”
Wei sucked in a sharp breath. Chun still didn’t know. It’s not that Wei was avoiding telling him; it had simply slipped his mind. (Because your relationship with Lan had never been a priority for you, a traitorous voice whispered. And she knew it and got tired of waiting.)
“We broke up,” Wei said bluntly.
Chun paused, holding his beer bottle midway to his lips. He put the bottle down and turned to look at Wei, all humor gone from his expression.
“Seriously?” he said.
“Seriously,” Wei confirmed.
“When?”
“Maybe . . . two weeks ago?”
“And you’re only telling me this now?”
Wei shrugged again. “It never came up,” he said honestly. He could feel Chun’s thoughtful gaze on him and he avoided making eye contact.
“You don’t seem that broken hearted,” Chun observed.
Finally, Wei glanced at him. “I think that’s why Lan ended things,” he admitted. “I was never as invested as she was.”
Chun nodded. “That happens,” he agreed. “Is this why you’re asking me about my love life? You wanna go out and meet girls? I can be your wingman. I’m pretty sure that’s called a rebound though.”
Wei couldn’t help it. He began to laugh. Chun couldn’t have read the situation more incorrectly if he’d tried. “No,” he managed to say when his laughter subsided. “I don’t want to meet girls. I’m after something different.”
“Different?’ Chun repeated.
“Different,” Wei said again, gaze directed at the nearly empty beer bottle in his hands. “And out of my reach.”
“I doubt it’s that hopeless,” Chun told him.
“It’s bleak and cliché,” Wei countered, his filter slipping a little. He wasn’t even drunk. As if to prove his point, his next question startled him.
“Have you ever been with a guy?”
Chun was nonplussed. He didn’t so much as flinch at the question, didn’t outwardly react at all. It was Wei who was feeling disconcerted.
“Yes,” Chun said, after a moment. “I have.”
Wei’s jaw went slack.
“How about you?”
Wei remembered to shut his mouth. He cleared his throat. “No,” he said. “I haven’t.”
“This is what you meant by something ‘different’?”
Wei tried not to laugh at the absurd turn their conversation had gone, all thanks to his brilliant strategizing and healthy dose of unrequited moping.
“Yeah,” he said. “Pretty crazy, huh?”
“No.”
Chun polished off his beer. He reached into the ice bucket beside him and pulled out another bottle, popped the cap open, and handed it to Wei. Then, he did the same for himself. They drank in silence.
“So,” Chun said, after a while. “You want to go to a club and meet some guys?”
It was Wei’s turn to choke. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before giving Chun a playful shove. “Will you quit with the meeting people stuff? I told you I’m not looking for that.”
“Because you already have someone in mind?”
Chun’s gaze was so penetrating that Wei was forced to look away. “Out of my reach, remember?” he muttered. He could feel the moment when Chun stopped staring at him, as if a burning sensation had been put out.
“Look,” Chun said, after more time had passed. “I’m going to say something and I could be totally off-base. Even if I’m not, you can laugh it off, you can hit me, whatever. Cards on the table, okay?”
Wei gave him a sideways glance, the intrigue at full force. “Okay,” he agreed.
Chun nodded, but it was more to himself. “Sometimes I get this vibe,” he began. “From you,” he added. “That maybe you’d be interested in more than friendship. Am I wrong?”
Wei’s breath seemed to have caught in his throat. He exhaled slowly, his body relaxing. His grin was sardonic. It looked like Chun was going to do all the heavy lifting tonight.
“And if I said you were right,” he said slowly. “What would you think of that?”
“Good question,” Chun said. He was still nodding to himself. He leaned back against the picnic table, arms stretched behind him. He looked contemplative. “It’s probably a terrible idea,” he said, a little while later. “But I’m not opposed to it.”
It look a long ten seconds for Chun’s statement to register.
“No?” Wei replied, still in shock. Was he mishearing? Misunderstanding? Had he slipped into a parallel dimension?
“Let’s do it,” Chun said, sounding more and more convinced. “The worst that could happen is we’ll crash and burn. That’s probably going to happen anyway,” he added.
“And that’s a reason to do it?” Wei questioned, his rational side deciding to make an appearance.
Chun was grinning at him, his body posture maddeningly relaxed and smug at the same time. “I think you’re attractive too,” he said. “Haven’t been with a guy in a while, but it’s really not that different.”
Wei was about to disagree, but managed to reign himself in. It would be stupid to sabotage this.
Chun suddenly sat up, swinging his legs off of the ledge. He turned to face Wei fully, straddling the picnic bench. “So?” he questioned. “You wanna give this a go?”
“Just like that?” Wei said, a little dumbly. His brain still hadn’t caught up to what was happening.
“Why not?”
Wei could think of several reasons ‘why not,’ but his throat thankfully refused to cooperate. “What’re you doing?” he asked, when Chun leaned forward.
“I’m going to kiss you,” Chun said, matter-of-factly.
“Now?”
“Is there a better time?”
“No, that’s not what I mean,” Wei said, flustered. “It’s just . . . what’s happening here?”
“You were trying to tell me that you like me,” Chun explained patiently. “I thought about it and realized that I like you too. We’re going to try dating. And now I’m going to kiss you.”
“Wait,” Wei protested.
“It’s really not that different,” Chun said for the second time that night.
Wei’s next protest died on his lips because Chun had grasped him by the back of his head and pressed their lips together. Wei stiffened in surprise, his right hand landing on Chun’s jacket and clutching it. Chun was persistent and Wei found himself relenting. Their first kiss, Wei would later reflect, symbolized their relationship in many ways: Chun plunging in headfirst and Wei getting dragged along; Chun’s persistence, his dogged stubbornness, while Wei’s principles slowly bent at the other man’s gentle coaxing. Wei would never admit it out loud, but Chun would always be the exception to the rule. This kiss was no different.
Wei was breathless when the kiss ended, the taste of Chun in his mouth mingling with the beer they had drunk.
“It’s not so different, right?” Chun said.
“I guess not,” Wei agreed, his gaze dropping to Chun’s lips. The hand that had clutched Chun’s jacket was now curled around Chun’s neck. “You need to shave,” he noted.
Chun absently ran a thumb across his jaw. “Not a fan of the stubble?” he asked.
“I like you better clean shaven,” Wei said.
Chun chuckled at his honesty. “Okay,” he agreed. “You’re staying over tonight?”
It wasn’t an odd question. They frequently stayed over at each other’s places. But after the turn of events, the question gave Wei pause.
“You’d be okay with that?”
“You stay over all the time,” Chun said, echoing Wei’s own thoughts.
“I mean, you’d be okay sharing a bed with me now?”
Chun looked like he was trying very hard not to laugh. “There’s always the couch if you feel that uncomfortable,” he said. “But really, sharing a bed is not a big deal. I’m not going to jump you if that’s what you’re worried about.”
‘Jumping him’ didn’t sound like such a bad idea, but Wei didn’t mention it. That would be getting ahead of himself.
Chun stood up. “It’s getting late,” he said. “Let’s head inside.” He was about to move away when Wei grasped his hand. He glanced down.
“You’re still so impulsive,” Wei said.
Chun grinned. “You like that about me,” he said. “We balance each other out.”
Wei couldn’t argue with that. Instead he stood up, still grasping Chun’s hand. Standing face to face like this, he was aware of the slight height advantage he had over Chun. It made leaning down easier. Chun quickly understood, tilting his head and slotting their mouths together. This kiss was slower, but no less thrilling.
“You know what?” Chun whispered, breath warm against the shell of Wei’s ear when the kiss ended. “I think you’re a closet romantic.”
Wei shook with laughter. Chun was known for the big romantic gestures, but his assessment wasn’t wrong. Wei just hadn’t found the right person to share those romantic moments with.
“Come on.”
Wei felt a tap on his hip and then Chun’s arm curling around his waist. He allowed himself to be maneuvered in the direction of the open living room doors.
“There’s no way we’re working together now,” Chun commented, as they headed inside. “All that time spent together? We’d kill each other after a week.”
“We balance each other out,” Wei reminded him.
“I’m not going back to the force.”
“We’ll see about that,” Wei said, following Chun into the bedroom. He could be a stubborn bastard too.
Fin.