Chapter Text
The first time he had arranged a date with Ayato, Thoma had stood still in front of the wardrobe, not only unable to decide what to wear to meet him and discover that he had been talking to his employee alone all that time but also because he had not found anything that could match him. He also froze then. But the emotion pulsing in his temples was not a relentless fear of losing everything but an illusion transformed into an uncontrollable tingling, which did not allow him to stop grinning like a fool at the idea of having his first date with Ayato: a date for Narukami Island.
He couldn't believe that there was only a week's difference between the first first date and the second first date, nor that fear no longer had any place in showing himself in front of Ayato as someone who had been in love with him for too long. Not only did he not have to hide it, but it was also reciprocated, something that had been incredibly painful to fantasize about because it would be the most surreal fantasy he could create.
And in the week that had passed with faces uncovered and all the truths exposed, it had still been difficult for Thoma to face this new reality. One where Ayato woke him personally for breakfast together or distracted him when the Wednesday meeting got out of his control and out of his attention. He would reach for his hand under the table and put his whole body on alert when he played with his fingers or when his started a trivial walk along his thigh. At times, Ayato still had to remind him to call him by his name. But fortunately, it was also Ayato who was most embarrassed by Ayaka's teasing when the three of them got together, claiming the role of Cupid in this relationship that, she said, owed so much to her. Thoma didn't know why, perhaps because his head still hadn't fully processed that he was in a relationship with Kamisato Ayato.
As on the previous Sunday, Ayato had been early for his appointment because he had a lunch date with a client, so they met in town later in the day. Thoma could take Ayaka's teasing better when he laughed with her at Ayato's failed attempts to evade them, but when she whistled at him as he left the house, assuring him that he would succeed, it was Thoma who almost ran to get out of her sight.
Ayato was already waiting for him at their meeting place and stood upright, leaving behind the tree he had been leaning against and smiling at his arrival.
"I was beginning to fear you were going to stand me up again," he remarked with some mockery.
"Will you ever stop punishing me for that?"
"Maybe, in a few years," Ayato joked. Or, at least, Thoma hoped he was. "Where do you want to go?"
"Oh." Thoma looked around; even though it was starting to get dark, the city was still bright and alive. "I don't know. I've never been on a date before."
Ayato raised an eyebrow in disbelief.
"You were on a dating app, but you've never been on a date?"
"Well, it can't be considered dating. All I was doing was..." Thoma stopped himself in time with a cautious smile. "Anyway, you read my profile, didn't you?"
Ayato laughed, answering him without needing to. He moved a little closer to him, and Thoma held his breath as he did every time he got too close. Because he still wasn't used to it, to there being no impossible boundary to cross between them, to the unexpected kisses and the look Ayato could now pierce him with. No one had ever looked at him like that, and he definitely didn't want anyone else to.
"The plan was to walk, wasn't it?" He held out a hand, palm up. "Shall we?"
Thoma looked down at his hand, confused as he refocused on his eyes. Since Thoma couldn't make up his mind, Ayato reached for his hand and wrapped his own around it before he began to walk to nowhere in particular but with his fingers wrapped around his so tightly that they seemed to control his heartbeat as well.
"Ayato..." Thoma muttered. He also had to get used to the way his name sounded out loud when he said it and the automatic smiles he drew on Ayato's mouth when he did. "This is not necessary."
"Does it make you uncomfortable?"
"No, of course not." Thoma laughed at the stupid idea. "But you said yourself it was complicated. I don't want you to get in trouble because of me."
"Because of you?" Ayato said calmly. But he squeezed his hand tighter in his. "If anyone sees this as a problem, it's their fault, not ours. The problem was dating someone other than you, so I'm not going to let you go; not now, nor ever."
"Coming from you, anyone would consider that a threat," Thoma commented with an amused grin.
"Not you?"
"No. At least, it's not one that scares me."
He confirmed it by moving closer to him to walk a little closer to his body. He did this even without realizing it, and only realized that he was seeking to move closer to him when Ayato's eyes silently told him that he had given himself away at some point. This time, he didn't let him see it, but Thoma was fully aware of it. Because although he couldn't get used to the impromptu kisses or the hand reaching under the table for him, or Ayato's name alone, he couldn't forget the images and words they had exchanged when, in theory, they didn't know who was on the other side of the screen.
And, judging by the comments he tried to color his cheeks with, neither could Ayato.
They bought a couple of slushies at a street shop and continued their aimless stroll. There were those who waved to Ayato if they recognized him, but whether or not anyone noticed their joined hands, Thoma paid no attention. If Ayato didn't care, why should he? They walked for hours without noticing the time until Thoma's stomach grumbled, waiting for his dinner at the usual time. Not wanting to go home, and especially not wanting Ayaka to join them at their table and interrogate them, they dined out. And, as in any restaurant in town, Ayato was the subject of fawning compliments and cloying praise because he was already known everywhere. So was Thoma, who was invisible around him.
But that night he cared less than ever because, no matter that the eyes of others did not focus on him, Ayato's gaze always sought him out.
"So? Tell me, if I was a normal date from that app... what would we do?" Ayato asked with mock innocence as they walked through the entrance of the Kamisato Estate.
"We wouldn't have met in the street in the first place," laughed Thoma. "I would have suggested a discreet place and spent no more than half an hour."
"Ah, so you're as direct with the others as you are in your messages. I see."
"With you, I would be too, but you wouldn't let me," Thoma replied.
Ayato looked at him with a mixture of curiosity and amusement.
"Would you also reserve only half an hour for me?"
"All my hours are yours. They were before too; that's why I had limited time."
"Have I treated you so badly as an employee that you think you have no free time?"
Thoma hit him with his own hand, and Ayato laughed, pausing in front of the door to Thoma's room, which they had reached without him noticing, letting himself go, as he had all afternoon, wherever Ayato's hand wanted to lead him.
"I just wanted to get back soon. Those dates meant nothing to me," Thoma said, staring at his door as if it were hell itself. "But this one was perfect."
Ayato closed the distance to him in the dark hallway, and his free hand cupped his chin with the gentleness of two fingers.
"How can it be perfect when I haven't even had a chance to kiss you yet?"
His laughter crashed against Ayato's lips, where he lost his breath once more. He kissed them, letting himself be drawn into them as he had been all afternoon, walking hand in hand with him, even as his back hit the door, unaware of the moment Ayato had pulled him against it. He could lose himself completely in his mouth. It was a wonderful feeling.
"Are you no longer curious about the efficiency of my hands?" Ayato whispered, caressing his lips with each word.
Thoma released his hand to clutch at his thin jacket, pulling him even closer. He was wearing the same blue cardigan as the week before and couldn't believe he'd been able to wait a whole week to take it off.
"I'm curious about the efficiency of your whole body," he replied with a smile. "And every day that you kiss me and torture me in your meetings, I want you to throw me mercilessly on the bed more and more."
"Wow, I thought we could practice calligraphy," Ayato joked before kissing his lips again.
Fumbling without parting from the other's lips, Thoma managed to open the door and drag Ayato inside with him. Ayato's back crashed against it this time, as Thoma closed it again, pulling him against it. Without stopping kissing him, for he had not yet been able to kiss him the way he really wanted to, the way he had imagined he would kiss him after every internet conversation. He hadn't kissed him yet, stopping time. But he didn't intend to let the hands of the clock run again until his mouth didn't belong to him completely.
Luckily, he had Ayato's full willingness to do so. With one arm wrapped around his waist to hold him against his body and the other hand clinging to the nape of his neck, playing with his hair while still kissing him fiercely, their legs tangled until they collided against the bed. They fell onto it, still kissing, creating the illusion that their mouths had become inseparable, as had their bodies. Thoma was the first to drop the first piece of clothing, ridding himself of the cardigan that had been bothering him so much. And only at that movement did Ayato stop kissing him to remove his black T-shirt.
Thoma felt every inch of his exposed skin burning under Ayato's insistent gaze. He returned to his lips only to leave a slow kiss to bid them farewell, for other corners of his body deserved his attention as well. Thoma relaxed on the bed and under Ayato's body, under the brush of his lips on his neck, which trailed down his chest, played with his nipples and created a pleasant tingle as they continued down to his navel. His hands accompanied him, pressing against his skin with intensity, leaving the traces of his passage over him. Thoma smiled to himself at the thought of finding the marks of Ayato's lips and fingers all over his body the next day. No one would see them, but they would burn as they did now.
Thoma sat up on his elbows as Ayato released him from his trousers, taking the last piece of his body attached to them. His photographs hadn't gone that far. And while he had given Ayato a preview of his nudity, he couldn't help but feel a certain shyness at the realization that not only was he naked but that the slightest brush of his lips was enough to arouse him and tingle every pore of his skin. Satisfied at this realization, Ayato slid down his body until he forced him to lie down again. His smile made him smile too, overcoming the first shyness to let himself be carried away by the desire he saw in his eyes that, he was sure, was also reflected in his own.
Ayato coordinated his lips and hands to kiss him and wrap around his erection at the same time, stealing his breath in two different ways but in unison. Thoma lost his fingers between the buttons of Ayato's shirt, resisting the temptation to rip them right off because he needed him naked too, wanted to come into contact with his skin, to roam him with every part of his mouth and hands, to join him in every possible way. But his lips and tongue inside his mouth and his hand moving so slowly as to be almost painful made him lose his wits enough to even pull a simple button out of his grip.
Thoma forced himself to pull away from Ayato's lips for air and, though he didn't find as much as he needed, for his breathing was panting, Ayato took it as a signal to speed up the movements of his hand, masturbating him leisurely, again making him believe he had all the hours in the world reserved for him as well.
"Do I meet your expectations?" Ayato asked, still smiling and looking at him as if he wanted to recognize every word he had said hidden behind the mobile screen on his face.
Thoma looked at him victoriously as he unbuttoned the last button and slid the shirt off his shoulders, willing it away from his body so it wouldn't come between them. He admired his naked torso, lean but with every muscle marked in a defined line. Thoma slid his hands down it until he stumbled against the edge of his jeans.
"More than enough," he replied with a sigh.
He pushed him down to lock him between the mattress and the cage of his legs on either side of his body. Though Ayato's hand momentarily lost its target, he found it again in that new position, unwilling to let go, tightening his fingers even more around his cock. The movements were again intensely slow but pressing more firmly. Thoma leaned over him and licked his lips.
"Let me undress you. You'll drive me crazy easier if that's your intention."
"No." And, corroborating that one word, Ayato quickened his hand movements slightly. "Not yet."
His free hand reached for his neck and dragged him over it, sought his lips, and smiled with a commanding look that was rarely directed at him before kissing him again. How could he say no to something that asked of him like that? Even if he couldn't stand the touch of his jeans against his legs because he wanted to feel his skin and warmth, Thoma didn't pull away from his lips again, drowning out the gasps that Ayato's hand, which also matched the increasingly frantic and rhythmic movement of their mouths, brought to his body.
Thoma bit Ayato's lower lip unwillingly and was unable to contain a quiet moan that caressed his lips as he cum between Ayato's fingers. With a soft, sweet laugh, those same fingers coated with his semen stroked him on an upward path, now leaving not only the physical imprint of their hands but of the consequences they had on his body. Thoma laughed too, kissing him again, unable to stop too long because he needed to catch his breath.
"Now you can do whatever you want," Ayato said resolutely.
And Thoma didn't need to listen twice.
He took off his jeans and underwear and spent a few long seconds admiring his beautiful nakedness, his legs, hips, torso, chest, and even every line of his neck. He couldn't believe that he had brought this Ayato out of his fantasies, and now he was actually in his bed. As aroused and expectant as he was, as if he had silently desired him for as long as he had. Having him like this, he couldn't even explain how he had been able to wait so long. Had he really ever disguised it?
Thoma reached for his hand and pulled him to sit on the edge of the bed as he stood up. Ayato watched him with genuine curiosity, leaving his will completely at his mercy.
"Remember? I have to show you how strong my knees are. I can't cheat on a mattress."
Ayato laughed, but his laughter turned into a deep sigh as Thoma knelt between his legs and captured his hard erection between his lips. He stroked his legs up and down and scratched the skin of his hips as Ayato's hands clutched at his hair, helping him guide his movements, not letting him torture him slowly as he had just done. He didn't want to because he liked to feel how he needed him, how his cock hardened even more inside his mouth, how it wasn't just his saliva that made him wet.
There would be time and other occasions to play at desperation, to test the limits of his patience and sanity. But that night, Thoma wanted more to know how his body reacted to orgasm. He wanted to be the cause of his pleasure. And when he felt Ayato's fingers tighten in his hair, warning him, he only sucked more fervently, wanting it to spill into his mouth. Ayato's legs wrapped around him, his body trembling slightly in an intense shudder that ran up and down him. Thoma still licked his member some more, not wanting to leave the space between his legs, not wanting to waste a single drop of his cum.
When he climbed back onto his body, Ayato wrapped his waist tightly and lovingly around his waist, fulfilling his promise that he would never let go. And when their lips met in a deep, slow, burning kiss, they only reassured themselves again that time didn't matter in there between their lips and wrapped in each other's warmth. Perhaps they would notice it the next morning when obligations reminded them that time could not stand still, but Thoma doubted anything could ruin the memory of that first night with Ayato.
Because, yes, it was only the first. And he didn't mind not going back to sleep if the sleepless night was just a consequence of his hands running over him and his mouth stealing his breath. Maybe time hadn't stopped, but it wasn't necessary either. Because, from now on, his time with Ayato didn't have an expiry date, he didn't have to worry about when he would have to leave him, and he didn't have to fear that some secret might separate them.
No longer did he have to cloak himself in anonymity. And as Ayato lay him back down on the bed and hovered over his body, as their skins mingled in suffocating heat, Thoma began to get used to sighing his name.