Archive of Our Own ^beta

The first time, it"s an accident. Or, at least, Haruka"s pretty sure it is.

Kantarou can usually do a decent job of taking care of himself, although Haruka considers it an ill-advised move to let him out unsupervised. Still, Kantarou"s more than capable of handling a jealousy-enraged youkai who can throw strands of hair that have more in common steel darts than with anything that actually grows from a human"s head. But of course he gets distracted when the youkai threatens Youko, and so one hair-dart gets by his defenses and shreds his jo-e and hitoe clean through to the skin at the shoulder.

Kantarou dispatches the youkai relatively quickly, and everybody"s happy. Kantarou even gets paid for his troubles this time, much to the delight of Youko, who is already nattering on about things she can buy at the market with their reward.

Haruka is tuning it all out, because there"s something terribly distracting about the bared expanse of Kantarou"s pale skin.

This makes no sense to Haruka, because he"s seen Kantarou nude -- why should one shoulder prove so suddenly interesting, when he"s already seen the whole package?

It might warrant future investigation.

***

Haruka knows through experience that it"s unwise to take your eyes off of Kantarou. Kantarou is a schemer, and he tends to drag people into his plans before thinking. The next thing you know, you"re wearing a stupid costume and trying to relieve people of their valuable books by flirting with older women. Haruka still owes Kantarou some retribution for that one.

Kantarou is in drag again, for reasons that Haruka would rather not waste his time contemplating. "What do you think?" Kantarou asks, adjusting his wig.

Haruka surveys him lazily. "At least you"re not ugly," he says finally. "Most men make ugly women -- but you"re small enough that it"s convincing."

Kantarou glares at Haruka over his shoulder. "Are you calling me a little boy?"

Haruka lets his non-smile do the talking, and Kantarou turns back to the mirror with a huff.

"Wait," Haruka says after a minute. He reaches out and takes the back of Kantarou"s kimono collar in one hand, and gives it a judicious tug downward. "There," he says, his eyes following the shapely line of Kantarou"s neck where it disappears into the muted, but lovely, kimono. His nape is pale, too, just like his shoulders. Youko has been known to moan on occasion that Kantarou has prettier skin than she does, and Haruka is now inclined to agree.

"Haruka?" Kantarou says after a few moments, sounding curious.

Haruka makes a minute and unnecessary adjustment to Kantarou"s wig. "You"re set," he says shortly.

Kantarou smiles at him brilliantly. "I"ll be home soon!"

Haruka takes greater interest than he probably should in watching Kantarou leave.

***

Kantarou has the body weight of a squirrel and should probably never drink in public.

Fortunately, they are not truly in public -- they"re at Yumeyakko"s residence, and from the way Yumeyakko keeps filling Kantarou"s cup, it won"t be long before he"s drunk and singing.

Or, apparently, if Yumeyakko has her way, drunk and dancing.

"Kantarou," she says, alternately laughing and cajoling. "You have to dance! You made me teach you!"

Youko has been giggling all night in a way that"s seriously grating on Haruka"s ears. "Dance, Kan-chan, dance!"

It doesn"t take much more sake before Kantarou is rising to his feet with the fluid, loose-limbed grace of the happily sloshed. This isn"t to say that he"s altogether coordinated at the moment, but it"s a reasonable approximation.

"Dance with me," Kantarou whines to Yumeyakko.

She laughs and shakes her head. "I can"t dance with you, Kantarou -- who would play the music if I did?"

Yumeyakko settle on the floor with her shamisen, and loans Kantarou one of her fans. Haruka sits back and waits for Kantarou to fall on his backside, because there"s no way this will turn out well.

Yumeyakko strikes the first few notes, and Kantarou brings up the fan to his face. He might be drunk, but the brightness of his eyes doesn"t altogether hide their slyness. Kantarou"s dance is slow and deliberate, and the joke is on Haruka, because he didn"t know that Kantarou could look so inviting. His gi is loosened a little from his movements, so that his collarbone is plainly visible, and the soft, worn cotton shifts flirtatiously on his shoulders.

Haruka knows he is staring, but everyone else is, too.

As predicted, Kantarou trips over the hem of his hakama, and lands in a drunken, giggling heap on the floor. He crawls over to where Haruka is sitting.

"Haruka," Kantarou says, his voice warm and affectionate and devastating in only the way Kantarou can be. "Haruka, that"s the first time I ever danced."

"Oh?"

Kantarou slumps against him, fitting perfectly into his side. "I didn"t do it before. I wouldn"t even try."

Haruka tucks one arm around Kantarou"s waist, purely in the interests of keeping him upright, of course. And he thinks of what else Kantarou hasn"t tried, what other things he might be able to do now.

***

Oddly, it"s Muu-chan who first notices, and Sugino who calls him on it.

Haruka and Sugino are sitting on the roof, where Sugino is cooling down after his latest marital spat with Muu-chan. Muu-chan is too free with her affections for Sugino"s liking, although Haruka personally believes that living in the wilderness together might not be isolation enough for Sugino.

"It"s not that I don"t want her to have any male friends," Sugino says. "It"s just that -- that Kantarou! He"s always inviting her to tea and not inviting me!"

"Muu-chan usually comes here by herself. Kantarou just invites her because she"s here already," Haruka points out reasonably.

"But why does she come here?" Sugino wails. "Am I not enough for my Muu-chan?"

Haruka closes his eyes briefly, and prays for patience.

"Shouldn"t you be upset, too? Muu-chan says you"re keeping a close eye on Kantarou," Sugino says, knowingly.

"He named me. Of course I"m keeping a close eye on him," Haruka says, slowly and clearly, as if addressing an idiot.

Sugino heaves a sigh that sounds suspiciously sympathetic. "I"m warning you, it"ll only end in tears. I remember the first time I saw Muu-chan"s knees...there was just no turning back after that. So what about Kantarou caught you? After all, he"s really very...human."

Haruka does not dignify that with a response.

***

Kantarou can be such a mouthy annoyance during the day, bemoaning the cruel fate of being subject to publishing deadlines and taking every opportunity to go haring off to find monsters instead of writing articles to put food on the table. It"s true that he can be petty, and materialistic, not to mention lazy, but Haruka finds it hard to hold that against him at night.

Because at night, Kantarou sometimes joins him on the roof, or they sit together on the porch, and all of Kantarou"s selfish bravado melts away to show his quiet, contemplative side. Haruka used to only see it when Kantarou was dealing with youkai, when Kantarou would display remarkable compassion and sensitivity. But Kantarou has opened up a little, slowly and steadily. Kantarou continues to chatter and whine during the day, but at night, he"s quiet and thoughtful, and Haruka finds he doesn"t mind Kantarou"s company at all.

It"s a cool spring night, and Kantarou is considerately keeping his cup filled with chilled sake. Kantarou has pretty hands, slender and graceful, and he carefully holds his sleeve out of the way when he pours, affording Haruka a glimpse of wrist and forearm. Kantarou would probably deny having learned anything from Yumeyakko, but there"s something so delightfully courtesan-like about Kantarou"s manners that Haruka wonders.

Kantarou sighs softly. It sounds like a contented sigh, and Haruka understands that. It"s a peaceful night, with decent sake and Kantarou by his side.

Maybe, Haruka reflects, they"ve gone about this all backwards. They"ve done the dramatic rescues, self-sacrificing, and vowing never to let go -- and for all that Kantarou"s cheeks flush pink when Haruka is too close, or when Haruka lets his gaze linger, his lips have yet to so much as grace Kantarou"s cheek.

They have, however, slept in the same futon. It"s a pity that Haruka wasn"t awake for that.

Kantarou is keeping a respectable distance between them, and Haruka decides that"s the first thing to go, if they"re going to get anywhere. So he slides over a little on the porch, into Kantarou"s space.

Kantarou is plainly startled by the movement. He shoots a sidelong glance at Haruka before reaching for the sake bottle. "More?" he says politely.

"I"ll get it," Haruka says, reaching around Kantarou for the bottle. He can feel Kantarou"s quick inhalation when Haruka picks up the bottle and tilts it into his cup, Kantarou effectively in the circle of his arms. "I poured too much," Haruka notes. "It might spill."

He"s holding the cup in front of Kantarou, and the question really is -- will Kantarou drink, or will Kantarou run?

Kantarou is apparently done running, because he licks his lips once, and then leans forward to drink from Haruka"s cup. Haruka doesn"t have anywhere near the attachment to this cup that he does to his bowl, but it"s startlingly intimate to see Kantarou"s lips curved around the edge, delicately sipping the excess sake with his eyes closed.

Haruka takes the cup away, and Kantarou makes a little noise, like he"s disappointed.

Haruka decides to make it up to him by leaning down and kissing Kantarou gently, and then licking his way into Kantarou"s mouth.

He thought that Kantarou might squeak with surprise, or moan, but Kantarou makes no noise at all. He seems to soften under Haruka"s touch, and his arms come up to hesistantly circle around Haruka"s neck, his chilly fingertips a pleasant little shock where they touch Haurka"s skin.

"Inside," Haruka murmurs against Kantarou"s lips.

Kantarou freezes for a moment, but he accepts Haruka"s offer of a hand up, and then they"re slipping into the quiet darkness of the house. Youko must have gone to bed early, because the lights are doused, but they can find their way by memory and touch. Haruka slides Kantarou"s bedroom door open, and turns to look at Kantarou.

There"s enough moonlight to see Kantarou clearly, his hair shining silver and his eyes even darker, missing their normal shading toward red. The expression on his face is just this side of diffident, and Haruka"s been waiting for Kantarou to be strong enough to take the first step -- but maybe it was just the slightest bit unreasonable to expect Kantarou to have to take it alone.

"Kantarou," he says, and he"s mildly surprised at how raw his voice sounds.

Kantarou blinks, as though he"s woken from a daydream. And then he steps into the bedroom with Haruka, and pulls the door shut behind him.

Haruka has dreamed of pulling Kantarou"s protective armor of lies, half-truths, jo-e, and hito-e from his body, and leaving him, exposed and honest, all for Haruka to see and understand. But Kantarou"s falsehoods are gone, and he has forgone his formal clothing for the household comfort of gi and hakama.

"Haruka?" Kantarou says softly. He steps closer and lifts his chin.

Haruka knows an invitation when he sees it, and this one has been long overdue. He pulls Kantarou into his arms and kisses him for a bit, still gently. And then he says, "You named me, Kantarou." And what he means is, I won"t hurt you, you"re not powerless.

And Kantarou must have heard, because his hands are clutching at Haruka"s shoulders, and he"s returning the kiss with hesitant passion.

Haruka eases them down on to the futon, Kantarou spread out underneath him. Haruka contents himself for awhile with pulling Kantarou"s collar out of the way so that he can taste the curves and the hollows of Kantarou"s neck, dragging his tongue hard down the tendon and biting at the juncture of neck and shoulder. Kantarou gasps sweetly in his ear, all pleased surprise, and Haruka smiles against Kantarou"s skin.

He cradles the back of Kantarou"s head in one hand and catches Kantarou"s earlobe between his teeth, even as his hand snakes down to find the knot of Kantarou"s hakama. He pulls the ties out of their carefully-wrapped bow and breathes warm air into Kantarou"s ear, and Haruka can feel him shudder a little as Kantarou bites his lip and tilts his head back.

Haruka"s surprised when he feels something tugging at his neck, and he realizes that Kantarou is pulling his neck tie free, and his knees have come up to clutch around Haruka"s hips. He"s a bit taken aback, because when he thought of this, he always thought of doing it to Kantarou -- it had never quite occurred to him that Kantarou might be equally active, instead of just a responsive recipient.

Haruka realizes Kantarou"s cheeks are flushed, and he"s imagined him like this since the onsen, wondering if Kantarou would have the same look of heated, relaxed pleasure in bed as he did in water. But Kantarou is anything but relaxed -- his hands are knotted in Haruka"s shirt, and his breathing is uneven, full of stuttered gasps when Haruka pulls his gi open and begins sucking on his pale nipples. Haruka pays careful attention, flicking the stiffened tips with his tongue while his hands smooth down Kantarou"s sides to roam restlessly over his hips.

There is a kind of naming in this, too, and Haruka intends to stake his claim thoroughly.

He shoves Kantarou"s hakama down around his thighs, and curls one hand around Kantarou"s erection, pumping him slowly, teasingly. Kantarou"s head is turned to the side, the back of his hand pressed against his mouth in some sort of deluded effort to keep himself from making noise. He yelps in earnest when Haruka bends down to suck the head of Kantarou"s erection into his mouth, lapping at it delicately, and Kantarou"s sighs have given way to little helpless moans that Kantarou can"t stop, no matter how hard he seems to be trying.

Haruka moves one hand lower between Kantarou"s thighs, but stops. "Kantarou."

Kantarou manages to open his eyes, although they look glazed over and not really comprehending. "Haruka?"

"Do you have any oil?" Haruka asks, trying to sound calm but really just sounding raspy and wanting.

Kantarou"s already flushed, but that doesn"t stop him from freezing up with embarrassment. "On -- on the dresser," he says.

Haruka can"t help a knowing little smile from reaching his lips -- it"s good to know that even Kantarou has his needs, although he"s thankful that the image of Kantarou stroking himself off at night hasn"t been living in his brain all these months.

The oil smells like the base of some of the spelled essences Kantarou uses in his work, and Haruka finds that appropriate. He urges Kantarou on to his side and strokes his erection a few more times, just enough to get Kantarou back to a state of hazy pleasure, before he slips his fingers between Kantarou"s buttocks and presses in.

Kantarou"s head is thrown back onto Haruka"s shoulder, and he gasps a little, but he"s not shocked -- which is a bit odd, because Haruka is sure that no one"s ever done this to Kantarou before.

"Kantarou," he murmurs, "you --"

Kantarou presses down onto his fingers with a delicious moan, and Haruka realizes with a start that just because no one"s ever done this to Kantarou, it doesn"t mean he"s never done it to himself.

Haruka spares half a second to also be thankful that he didn"t think of Kantarou doing this all these months, either. And then he smoothes more oil over his own erection, pulls one of Kantarou"s legs up, and presses in slowly, his mouth on Kantarou"s bare shoulder.

"Ha-haruka," Kantarou says quietly, when he"s seated fully inside. "Haruka!"

Haruka decides that"s permission aplenty, and thrusts slowly, lazily a few times, before Kantarou tries to push back against him. Kantarou can"t really get any leverage, and Haruka decides to solve that problem by tugging him up on to hands and knees. He tilts Kantarou"s hips and thrusts back in hard, and Kantarou just makes a spine-tingling moan and meets Haruka" next thrust enthusiastically.

It figured, really. How could he have forgotten that Kantarou was such a little hedonist?

He slings himself over Kantarou"s back and moves harder and faster, and he wants Kantarou to remember this, to remember him. He wants Kantarou to lie in bed and touch himself and think of nothing but the way Haruka is touching him right now.

Kantarou"s pleased noises have given way to desperate mewling sounds and Haruka can hardly think anymore beyond the snapping of his hips against Kantarou"s buttocks, can barely spare a hand to jerk Kantarou to whimpering completion. And then it"s not much longer until he shudders to a stop, emptying himself into Kantarou, finally sealing this thing between them, which is a bonding ritual all of its own.

They collapse onto the futon afterward, Haruka finding Kantarou"s mouth for a messy kiss, the both of them too busy trying to catch their breath for it to be a long one. Kantarou is pressed against his side, and Haruka shifts a little in preparation for getting up to find something to clean them off.

"Haruka," Kantarou says, gripping his arm. "Stay."

And Haruka does, because there are some commands he is happy to obey.

***

Kantarou is slow to wake in the mornings, which is fine by Haruka. It gives him time to watch Kantarou"s unguarded expression, which is something of a rarity. Eventually Kantarou stirs, and when he opens his eyes, he gives Haruka the sweetest smile, and says, "Good morning."

"Yes," Haruka says, and kisses him gently before allowing Kantarou to escape off to the washroom.

Breakfast proceeds as normal, except for the fact that Youko-chan is bright red and can"t seem to keep her grip on anything. Haruka supposes that there"s no way she didn"t hear them last night, although Kantarou is really making a masterful effort towards pretending everything is business as usual.

When Sugino and Muu-chan drop in, though, all hell breaks loose.

Muu-chan cuddles up to Kantarou in a way that Haruka has deemed inoffensive, no matter Sugino"s protests to the contrary. Muu-chan whispers something that makes Kantarou blush and laugh embarrassedly.

Sugino catches it, though, and says, "Kantarou! Let go of Muu-chan -- it"s not proper for a married man to be holding someone else"s wife like that!"

Kantarou sits up straight, looking outraged. "I"m not married!" he says.

Haruka rolls his eyes and sips his tea. "He"s married," he tells Sugino flatly.

Youko-chan drops a cup, which goes rolling harmlessly across the floor. "M-married? Oh, Kan-chan!" she squeals.

"Haruka!" Kantarou turns beseeching eyes towards him. "Tell them I"m..."

Haruka looks at him steadily.

And Kantarou sighs heavily, although he doesn"t seem that put upon. "...married," he concludes.

"Congratulations!" Sugino tells Haruka.

"Muu-muu!" Muu-chan adds, the very model of polite manners.

Haruka continues sipping his tea and tucks one arm around Kantarou, who is still blushing and looking shocked. But they"re both right where they should be, and that"s more than enough.