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It Still Counts As Mad Science If I Do Sociology Wrong Enough, Right ?

Summary:

Morgan is getting desperate. No one will fund their research and their only option is this guy. No. They don't want to think about it.

Notes:

How do you make sociology evil ? What even is sociology ? Why did I make it so much harder for myself ?

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

 

Ohio took a deep breath as he finally touched down on the jungle ground. It had been a while since he last came here but this time, he had no artifact to return. He was here to study the architecture for his next thesis. He hoped he could find the time to interview the various local populations about it but they were often asleep at this time of the year. Giants were known for their strict following of the seasonal cycle, after all, and it would be very rude to interrupt them. Ohio was still really excited about the perspective of finally proving the correlation between the legalization of technological bodily enhancement and the need for ethic regulations in stand up comedy. His colleagues were expecting a lot from him and he wasn't going to disappoint.

 

 

On his second day of research, as he explored around the massive town, taking as many picture as he could, he was interrupted by the ruffling of leaves and someone stumbled out of the lush undergrowth. Someone human sized. He sighed. Of fucking course.

 

 

“Ohio !” the figure shouted through the empty streets, beaming at him and waving wildly.

 

 

“What the fuck, Morgan... Again ?” he watched them hurry towards him, dragging a suitcase behind them.

 

 

“Hi ! How's your investigation going ?” they asked at a more reasonable volume now that they were closer, acting innocent, like they were meant to be here.

 

 

“As you know by now, I am legally required to tell you that you're not allowed to be here, and to ask you to return to school ground to teach your classes at once.” Ohio quoted as he rolled his eyes.

 

 

“Oh come on, Ohio ! I promise I won't do anything bad this time !” they pleaded like they always do.

 

 

“It depends, who knows you ditched ? Do I need to lie for you ?” he asked with a smug grin, already knowing he wouldn't say no to them.

 

 

“Barnaby was already waiting for me at the airport when I got there. Like, I didn't tell him, he just knew. He's the only one, as far as I'm aware.” Morgan slumped a little, dropping the act. It didn't work anymore anyways.

 

 

“Of course he knew ! You're you ! He wouldn't be your best friend if he couldn't predict this kind of things !” he laughed at his friend's dismay.

 

 

“Dude, i just hope he's not gonna snitch on me. I don't want the council on my ass again.” they sighed, rubbing their neck as they remembered how last time ended.

 

 

“Eh, I wouldn't worry about that. So, what was your excuse this time ? Did you pretend to be sick so you could sneak here ? I'm pretty sure everyone figured out what you were doing.” Ohio interrupted them, arms crossed, clearly mocking.

 

 

“Like, what did they expect me to do ? They refused to fund my study ! Again !” Morgan exclaimed. It was unfair and it made them seethe.

 

 

“I really don't think you should be surprised at this point, no one will ever agree to pay you to dig up corpses... Well, I have an essay to get back to. As long as you don't cause too much trouble, I'm not gonna rat you out. But now you owe me !” he offered as he walked away before they could say anything, artfully dodging the onslaught of information they were about to provide on the benefits of violating sacred monuments, ready to get back to proving his hypothesis.

 

 

The rest of the trip was a delight in Morgan's opinion. They had been able to look at so many cool things and touch so many cool things and hide all the cool things they broke from Ohio ! It was great ! It did nothing to help their thesis but at least they had fun. Unfortunately, they had to go back eventually and leave Ohio to his adventures.

 

 

They were now slumped in their couch, laptop open in their lap as they tried to draft a convincing email asking yet again for funding. They came to term with the fact that everyone was a coward a while ago but it was still a huge disappointment whenever they received the same answer : 'We thank you for your time. We're glad to have you on campus, your work as a teacher is invaluable to us. However, after deliberation, we find ourselves unable to answer your request. We regret to announce that we will therefore not supply you with the funds necessary to your researches. We hope you can understand our position. We wish you success in your future endeavours.' Yeah, that's a load of bullshit.

 

 

Morgan just couldn't understand. They knew their theories were a little unconventional, but weirder stuff got published all the time ! Hell, Chad managed to get their family to sponsor him when he claimed he could prove stones were made of minerals by licking them ! They knew their parents never approved of them choosing the social sciences field instead of hard sciences like every one of their siblings, but this was ridiculous. Just because they studied mortuary practices and its impact on the perception of live bodies didn't mean they were 'obsessed with death' or 'sick in the head' or a 'perverted weirdo'. They realized a long time ago that their parents didn't want to understand and wouldn't even try. Which would have been fine if the college council wasn't also pushing them down.

 

 

They would have gone free lance but their meagre teacher salary would never allow it. They also needed the benefits of being affiliated to a college and the support of their peers. So it really wasn't an option. Morgan still wished they had the freedom that came with being independent. They envied everyone who could, especially one Dr. Alex Stewart, notorious mad scientist. No one knew where their lab was, or what they were working on until they published another ground breaking study, or what they even specialized in, as they seemed to be an expert in every field. They were as elusive as they were influential in the scientific communities. They barely ever appeared publicly, and the rare times they did, they looked incredibly bored, like they could actively feel their braincells shrivelling down to nothing. They were a legend.

 

 

Morgan dreamed of the day they could inspire this much respect from their colleagues. They had actually met Dr. Stewart, once. They had been invited to one of Diego's conferences and Alex was meant to give one of theirs later that day. It had taken them a while to get over their nerves and work up the courage to talk to them. And they discovered the guy was a prick. They could still remember the disaster it had been.

 

 

Alex had been leaning on a wall, by the exit, and so had been Morgan. They didn't notice at first, but as more and more people stopped paying attention to what their sister was saying and kept looking back at them, they started to wonder. Had they done something ? Said something ? What was going on ? They shuffled, self-conscious. They couldn't face the crowd much longer and their eyes started to wander anywhere but in front of them. When they caught sight of who was standing next to them, looking like they had heard the exact same speech a thousand times, they understood why people were staring.

 

 

Dr. Alex Stewart. The Dr. Alex Stewart. Morgan's head had whipped back to look at their sister on the stage, who was still speaking, unaware of who was in her audience. They let her voice ground them, trying to focus on what she was saying. It didn't work in the slightest. Holy fuck, holy fuck, holy fuck. They were standing next to Alex Stewart. What should they do ? What should they say ? Should they do or say anything ? They really didn't want to make a fool of themselves.

 

 

So they had pretended to nod along with what Diego was saying, rubbing their chin. They were decent at robotics and could usually follow along, but their sister was one of the leading experts in this field. Most of what she said flew over their head, fascinated as they were by the presence at their side. Morgan was pretty sure they were buzzing in excitement.

 

 

They couldn't help but letting their eyes find the celebrity now and then. Alex looked incredibly bored, as was their habit. As the presentation went on, it became increasingly clear that they weren't paying attention to most of what was being said. One glance at them would tell you they would rather be anywhere else. Morgan thought it was a little rude but maybe they didn't choose to be here. It must be a bitch to be invited to every single scientific event ever, when all you wanted to do was experimenting in your lab.

 

 

Well, they obviously weren't listening and they didn't want to be here. There wasn't much Morgan could do to make it worse. If Dr. Stewart really didn't want to talk to them, they'd say something. It still took them an embarrassingly long time to actually do something.

 

 

“You're not big into cybernetic prosthetics, are you ?” Morgan whispered at them, leaning a bit in their space. They seemed really surprise to be addressed.

 

 

“I am, actually. It's just hard to pay attention when it's explained to me with the eloquence of a middle schooler trying to bullshit their way out of a bad grade.” Alex answered, like a snob.

 

 

“Wow, you're an ass.” they scoffed back. They didn't know what they expected but of course the famously renowned researcher was an elitist bitch. They should have seen this coming.

 

 

“I'm sorry ?” the bitch in question asked, incredulous. They probably weren't used to not being revered like the fucking Sun. It startled a laugh out of them.

 

 

“I'm not sure she would forgive you.” Morgan gestured towards Diego.

 

 

“I fear we haven't been introduced.” Alex changed the subject with an easy charming smile. Morgan didn't feel very charmed. They watched the big shot pull a card out of the inner pocket of their suit, handing it to them and watching their reaction carefully. “My name is Alex Stewart, but you can call me Doctor Alex Stewart.”

 

 

Morgan couldn't believe their eyes. Or ears. Or anything about this guy, really. Were they actually pulling the 'do you know who I am' card ? Did they really expect it to change anything ? Famous or not, they were still an asshole. What a clown.

 

 

“Morgan Sterling” they said coldly without acknowledging the name drop, taking the paper and squinting at them.

 

 

“Sterling ?” Alex looked between them and the stage, baffled.

 

 

“My sister.” they clarified.

 

 

“Well, I suppose apologies are in order. I must admit I was being a little rude.” they conceded like they were doing Morgan an immense favour.

 

 

“That wasn't an apology.” they sociology professor insisted, uncompromising.

 

 

“What ?” they didn't look so sure anymore.

 

 

“You can't apologize without saying sorry, at least. You didn't say sorry.” Morgan pressed. Alex looked like they would rather chew off their own tongue and didn't say anything for a while.

 

 

“I apologize.” they eventually let out thought gritted teeth.

 

 

Morgan scoffed as if to say 'that wasn't so bad, now, was it ?' and went back to leaning on the wall, listening to Diego finish up on her presentation. They completely ignore the bastard fuming next to them. Maybe 'Doctor Alex Stewart' would learn something from this interaction. When the first questions raised from the assembly, the clown seemed to mostly have themselves back under control. They shuffled, not knowing what to do with themselves.

 

 

“So, your sister's a big name in robotics.” Alex started, unsure of themselves. Morgan considered them for a moment.

 

 

“She is, we've established that already.” they answered after a while, suspicious of where this was going.

 

 

“Well... She's uh... she's not that bad.” the fumbling celebrity began, visibly uncomfortable. Morgan raised an eyebrow at them, prompting them to try again. “She's actually pretty good.”

 

 

“She is !” they smiled briefly. They didn't know what prompted this change of heart but it was interesting to watch them stumble for the right thing to say. God, they sucked at social situations.

 

 

“So, that means Chad Sterling is your brother, right ?” they carried on with their investigation.

 

 

“Yes, he is.” the professor winced at the mention of their brother.

 

 

“He's a renowned geologist... he's also uh... good.” they hesitated and it seemed to cause them physical pain to say it. And it became very clear to Morgan that they were trying to suck up to them.

 

 

“No he's not.” they intently denied and Alex sighed in relief.

 

 

“Hah ! No he's not, I'm so sorry to say but your brother is an idiot !”

 

 

“Glad we can agree on something.” they snicked together, trying to keep quiet.

 

 

“So... your sister is in robotics, your brother is in geology... And what do you do ?” Dr. Stewart asked finally when they calmed down again. Morgan couldn't believe this guy went though all of the trouble of bringing up their siblings just to ask about them. God, they really sucked at social situations. They took pity of the nervous mess in front of them and didn't draw attention to their lack of social skills.

 

 

“I'm a sociology professor. And researcher.” they answered instead with a genuine smile this time.

 

 

“Oh... I... uh.. I must admit, I never really took an interest in that.” Alex stuttered.

 

 

“Yeah, I noticed. But oh well, that just means I'll have to publish all the ground breaking studies and shift the paradigms by myself !” they teased.

 

 

“Hah, you think you can reach my levels of influence ? I'd like to see you try. You obviously don't have what it takes.” they laughed at them.

 

 

“Okay well fuck you then.” Morgan joked, even though it did sting, and pretended to leave. The other one immediately looked distressed.

 

 

“Wait, no, I didn't mean that. Look, I'm sorry, okay ? I just... I don't normally have fun in these” Alex pleaded, holding them back and gesturing vaguely around them. “And you're really entertaining. I want you to work for me. And maybe you can come with me to this kind of things, so I don't get bored !”

 

 

Oh, so this was what it had all been about... Of course. The clown simply wanted a jester. This entire conversation was a waste of their time. They didn't need an owner who could parade them around like a pet trained to perform tricks. Their smile dropped. They were tired of constantly being disrespected. They shoved their arm out of the bastard's grip and left. The conference was about done anyways. Alex did try to change their mind, following them out.

 

 

“Morgan ? Morgan wait ! What's going on ? You haven't answered me... Is that a yes ? It doesn't look like a yes... You should say yes. I'd really like it if you said yes. Okay, I have an offer, if you work for me, I'll pay for all expenses needed for your researches. I think it's fair. What do you say ? Yes ? You should. I'd do that if I were you. It's a good deal. You're going to regret it if you turn me down... Fine ! Ignore me ! I don't care. But don't expect me to wait for you forever ! ... Well I have to go now, but if you ever change your mind you have my number. It's on the card... I'll uh... I'll go now... Call me ?”

 

 

The fucker was persistent, it was pathetic, but they had to prepare for their own presentation and was forced to give up. Morgan didn't bother staying for their speech, they heard it was as brilliant as usual.

 

 

Back in the present, they thought, and not for the first time, about the piece of cardboard they couldn't bring themselves to get rid of. It was tucked away, waiting to be forgotten. But they never forgot, or threw it away. Maybe it was time to give them a call. Morgan had stalled long enough and desperate times called for desperate measures. They really didn't want to have to do this. Everything about this sucked but what did they have to lose, really ? Their pride ? They were already a laughing stock, they could handle a cocky bastard with no self awareness for however long it took them to complete their thesis. And who knows, maybe they could get something more out of this. They pulled out their phone.

 

 

It was time to make a deal with the devil.

Notes:

In this AU, Barnaby is a veterinarian expert in canine behaviour, and the reason Alex is able to publish all these really interesting papers is because they put people in cages to study them and experiment on them.

I hope you had a great time ! I wish you a wonderful rest of your day and or night !
Love you ! <3