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Waking up in the slat was still a new reality for Wylan Van Eck to get used to. Especially when he wakes up with someone as lovely as Jasper Fahey in his bed with him. It’s a little hard to believe that he deserves all this softness. Even with a gang of thieves and self-interested individuals that makes up the crows and life in the barrel in general. It’s still better than it was. Compares to living with his father, this is paradise. No amount of wealth can make up for the feeling of not being wanted, and being despised by people who were meant to protect him. So by that metric, the slat is paradise.
And for a very long time, he felt he was useless as a result of his father refusing to see him as anything more than this one thing he could not do (read). But that cruel narrative is starting to lose its hold on Wylan, thanks to the crows for being a sort of family. It’s definitely not the traditional nuclear family structure or one that is polite and good, but it’s a family nonetheless. A family that is full of people who have fought to survive just like him. A family who sees him for all the things he can do, instead of the one thing he can’t.
He stares at Jesper on the bed beside him and he feels safe. It’s funny how the gunslinger who craved the next hit of danger like he needed it to breathe is the one person who can make Wylan feel safe. Safe in his body, safe in the world around him. Wylan isn’t sure what Jesper feels when he looks at him, but he feels a stillness and safety in stillness. He doesn’t feel like he has to make bigger and bigger explosions to prove his worth to his crew every minute. Jesper makes the present feel like such a worthy place to spend his time, no overthinking, no backup plan just him. The scent of his cologne and the feeling of his touch is so intoxicating that Wylan can’t focus on anything else. He hopes it’s the same for Jesper, that being in him quiets the danger-seeking part of his brain, even if it’s only for a minute. It’s worth it. It is always worth it to be with him.
Jesper starts to stir on the bed beside him. Wylan just smiles and doesn’t bother to hide that he is staring in adoration, lying on his side to look at Jesper.
“Someone ought to put a blindfold on you, those eyes are very bright for this time of morning”, Jesper grumbled but he was smiling. Wylan stuck his head under the covers anyways. It was hard to tolerate such softness so early in the morning after so many years of being deprived of it.
“Oy, don’t do that,” Jesper said. “Don’t you know I’m quite fond of your face?” So Wylan uncovered his face, he had all the iron will of pudding when it came to refusing Jesper anything. So he just stayed in that moment, wrapped up in his boyfriend's arms, staring at each other with all the vulnerability in the world. The tender care Jesper treated him with may have been foreign, but he was determined to soak up all the joy he could.
Jesper caressed his face with gentle touches, and Wylan tried to not blush too hard (and failed).
“Look at that,” Jesper crooned. “I’m quite fond of the way you look when you blush. There are very few crimes I would not commit for that blush.” This only made Wylan blush more.
“Downstairs, now! We’ve got a job,” Kaz yelled up the stairs. Effectively breaking the tension, tension being Wylan’s traumatized brain not knowing how to handle such softness. It will take time to acclimate to, he reminded himself.
“Well, duty calls,” said Jesper, offering him a hand up from the bed. Wylan took it.
They entered the kitchen holding hands, and Kaz glowered at them as he did anyone exhibiting signs of happiness, but Wylan couldn’t care less. Neither could Jesper.
In typical Kaz fashion, he wasted no time getting to the point. He pointed to a blueprint on the table, these are the schematics to a mercher’s house we will be breaking into. Inej has already spied on the place. There seem to be no guards, only a security system and some guard dogs. I can get us into the house, and Nina can handle the dogs. But for the—” Kaz was interrupted by Nina.
“We’re not going to kill the dogs right?” Nina asked with hesitation.
“No– Putting them asleep is enough. Now as I was saying,” Kaz said. “For the safe, I won’t be able to get in without some… demolitions. Wylan, what have you got?”
Wylan cleared his throat. He asked basic questions like the make and model of the safe, and what materials it was made out of, and started planning his explosive. Kaz handed him a sheet of the information they knew on the safe and also the build of the house, based on Inej’s observations. Without needing to be asked, Jesper transcribed the notes for him. And the morning went on like that. He started designing a small bomb in his lab for the upcoming break-in. When he got involved in his work, he usually thought of little else. It could be a struggle to even remember to eat when he got focused on a project. But on this particular day, he was in a self-reflective mood. This explosive was pretty basic anyways, it didn’t require his undivided attention.
Life in the slat felt so easy. The difference between living here and living with his family is so stark they may as well have been lived by two different people. He could’ve never imagined it would be this easy. No one cares here that he cannot read. They don’t treat him any differently because of it. They treat him based on what he can do, not the one thing he can’t. They trust him so much to do complex jobs for them.
Even this morning, not just the softness that Jesper treats him with. But Jesper read out the safe specifications to him like it was nothing, Wylan didn’t even have to ask him. He just anticipated Wylan’s need like it was nothing. Like it was a given that it deserved to be respected and accommodated. In his lab, he was in his element. He had his accommodations in place, like labelling his ingredients using music notes and a bunch of little things that made his life easier. Most days, he could almost forget he doesn’t know how to read. And a big part of that is being surrounded by the crows and how easy they make it. And being in the slat is his home, and there is nowhere he would rather be. Being here feels as easy as breathing. They didn’t treat him like he was too much, like what he needed was too much.
It was hard for Wylan to adapt after a life of not this. Now he's being treated softly, with love, and getting accommodation like it’s no big deal and he doesn't know what to do with that. It was hard to believe sometimes that he deserved it, that he deserved to be treated this way. But Wylan knew he did. It would just take time for his body to catch up. But he was happy to put in the time. And very happy he did not have to do it alone. That he could do it alongside his family, unconventional and rough around the edges as though they may be. This group of criminals and bastards of the barrel felt like home to Wylan. And so did the slat. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.