Chapter Text
She wakes up warm—so warm Catra doesn’t think she’s ever experienced it before. At least, not asleep and never this pleasant. She can feel Adora’s fingers playing with the soft fur over her hip, but that doesn’t tell Catra if she’s awake—Adora’s prone to fidgeting both when she’s conscious and asleep. She hears Adora groan and bury her face between Catra’s shoulder blades, which makes Catra think she’s still slumbering.
It feels surreal that she and Adora were together all night, exchanging soft kisses and quiet laughs until their eyes were too heavy to stay awake. She’s afraid if she opens her eyes now, it’ll be gone even—though she knows she isn’t imagining the feeling of Adora beside her.
Adora is wrapped tightly around her, and it reminds Catra of the times they shared a bed in the Horde. Except Catra doesn't feel overrun with guilt when she nuzzles into Adora's touch. She can tell Adora is finally awake as her movements against Catra become intentional and she mutters something under her breath. Her chest vibrates with contentment.
One of Adora's hands come up high on her chest, her fingers tracing Catra’s collarbones. She's embarrassed when she bites down a startled noise, her gut tugging low in response to her touch.
"I don't know if we have enough privacy for that, princess." Her voice is scratchy and low from disuse and it makes her statement sound even more provocative than she intended.
Adora's hand freezes and Catra can see her cheeks immediately begin to redden from the corner of her eye. "I didn't … it's just—you’re purring." She mumbles, her eyes trailing down to the spot she’s touching. "I hadn't heard it since—before." Her purr stutters to a stop and Adora lets out a small whine.
"I don't think I've actually done it since you left." She admits.
There’s a moment of silence as the truth sits between them.
"Oh. Fuck." She pulls Catra tighter into her arms, pressing soft kisses on her face. "You're so soft." She mumbles under her breath.
Catra can feel her cheeks warm at the affection and she's powerless to do anything but lean into it. She can't recall the last time a touch felt so tender and unguarded.
Adora said she loves her. She said that she wanted Catra. She can hardly believe it, but wrapped in Adora's embrace, it's hard to doubt it too.
“I don’t want to leave this bed.” Adora whispers the words against Catra’s jaw before pressing another kiss to her cheek. “I don’t want today to start.”
Catra sighs, a weight in her gut. “As much as I’d like that, today already started.”
Her brows pull together in that stubborn way of hers. A stubbornness Catra has grown to appreciate. “Not if we just stay here.”
“Adora—” She feels the tip of Adora’s thumb on her bottom lip.
“Shh.” Catra sends her a lighthearted glare, but it dissolves under Adora’s disarming smile. “Just humor me for a minute.” She allows herself to sink into the pillow beneath her head and ignores Adora’s small chuckle, clearly enjoying that Catra’s given in so easily. “Just close your eyes and let me look at you.”
She lets out a sigh and closes her eyes. Adora’s hand doesn’t move from under her chin, her thumb tracing across her face—touching across her jaw, pressing the dimple on her chin, resting on the bow of her lip.
Catra knows that Adora’s love declaration doesn’t change anything outside these four walls. She’s still a prisoner and she has no idea what fate lies in store for her. She can’t imagine what path would lead to an actual shot at more than this.
So, Catra doesn’t think about it. She lets Adora comfort her and kiss her as if she’s never going to let go of Catra, even though she’s almost sure it’s not true.
It’s why it’s easier to close her eyes and let herself be loved than tell Adora how much she loves her.
Adora’s never seen the light catch in Catra’s mane like this. It makes her realize the Fright Zone was impossibly dark in more ways than one. She’s not sure why Catra is letting her get away with this, but she can’t find it in herself to question it too much.
Beyond the little furrow in her brow, Catra’s face is smoothed out and the only movement in her body is an occasional tail flick that makes a peculiar sound against the cushions beneath them.
It’s going to be a nightmare navigating everything that’s happening in Bright Moon now and Adora doesn’t have a real indication of where she and Catra stand, but right now that doesn’t matter as much. Not when Catra is willing to lie in her arms and trust Adora to hold her.
Adora has been running on fumes for so long now. She thought all she had to do was push to the end of the war, but now it seemed like that wasn’t going to get her what she wanted anyway. But sneaking off yesterday gave her at least some reprieve. Maybe that’s what she needs to do—commit to her own rules for a change, instead of playing to everyone else’s.
She lets her hands run over Catra’s side lightly, not enough to disturb her, but so that Adora could really feel her there.
"Catra, have you seen—Adora?" Glimmer's eyes are wide, as she glances at them wrapped around each other.
Adora watches Catra sit up and stretch, making it so they’re barely touching. A big part of Adora is put out that their time alone together is clearly done for now. Catra looks completely nonchalant, but Adora can tell from that way her ears pull back that she’s caught off guard by Glimmer’s appearance.
“Hey, sparkles. Have you ever tried knocking?”
She raises an eyebrow as she glances between Catra and Adora. “Well, I would if I didn’t think there was a missing princess.”
Adora rolls her eyes, pulling herself up so she’s sitting beside Catra. “You can call off the search party—I’m right here.”
“I hadn’t called anyone yet.” She grumbles before crossing her arms. Glimmer glances at Adora meaningfully. “Did you forget that we have things to do today?”
She bites back a groan as she thinks of the laundry list of things bouncing around in her head, Annoyance lands on her shoulders like a heavy brick. She knows Glimmer means well and has been on her side for most everything, but she hates being reminded that there is still so much to be done.
“It’s not like I was paying attention to anything besides Catra’s trial.” She admits unrepentantly. The other things are important, but to Adora it all comes in second to this. “Did you all decide?”
Glimmer’s eyes flash to Catra quickly before straying back to Adora. “Nothing has been finalized yet. Netossa suggested we take a recess to make sure that decisions were made with cool heads.” Her stare becomes irritated. “You didn’t have to antagonize everyone before you left.”
Adora scoffs. “Please. As if anyone in the council had a right to be upset with me after that.”
Catra looks at Adora, her head tilting to the side. She then turned to face Glimmer. “What did she do?”
“She basically announced her intention to commit treason in your name.” Glimmer arches an eyebrow. “Which isn’t the most sympathetic angle, given that we just ended a war.”
Catra turns to look at Adora lips pursed as she stares incredulously. “That sounds really dumb.”
“Hey!” Adora leans forward, her shoulder bumping into Catra’s. “You know why I did it.” She whispers it only for Catra to hear.
Her ears flick forward for a moment and Adora could swear that her cheeks redden.
She almost forgets about Glimmer standing by the door until she clears her throat. “Can you please tell me why you stayed in a prison cell last night? And why you two are all—” Glimmer waves her hand uselessly through the air. “—like that?”
“I—” Adora stops short. She was about to say that she and Catra are in love but that’s not quite right, given that Catra never returned Adora’s confession. She looks at Catra, unsure what exactly would be alright to reveal to Glimmer.
Catra looks just as lost as she is. “Adora means that …” She trails off, her left ear twitching so quickly Adora thinks she might have imagined it. “… we talked. And I asked her to stay. I didn’t think it would be a big deal.”
Glimmer looks at a loss for what to make of Catra’s statement. Her eyes rove between the two of them and Adora feels jittery for some weird reason. “Well, I’m glad you talked, I guess. Whatever that means.”
Adora clears her throat. “What did you need me for?” She prompts.
“I was mostly worried about where you went.” Glimmer looks a strange mix of guarded and deeply relieved and that’s when it hits Adora that Glimmer probably had the same thought Adora had last night—she thought Adora took Catra and ran. “But also, I was thinking about having a strategy meeting. About finding Hordak. … I was hoping you’d come?”
Adora presses her weight into her toes. She doesn’t want to look for Hordak or do anything else that might be helpful, she just wants to stay here with Catra. Especially with no decision made yet about Catra, there’s no way she’s leaving Bright Moon. She doesn’t think her friends would go behind her back and take Catra somewhere else, but the fact that she feels worried is reason enough to stick close by.
“You should go.”
Her head whips to the side to look at Catra. “What?” Adora tries to catch Catra’s eyes but she’s looking straight ahead, her hands in her lap.
“Yeah. The world doesn’t stop just because the war is over, right?” Catra shrugs, looking even farther away. “You shouldn’t underestimate Hordak. He might not have an army but he there’s no telling what he might do if given time.” She warns.
“You really think he’s a risk?” Glimmer’s eyes cloud over with worry.
“I don’t know for sure, but he could be.” She sighs, her tail weaving behind her. “I’ve known Hordak for as long as I’ve been at the Horde, but I was never close with him. I’m not sure how he’ll react, but is it a risk? Absolutely.”
Adora doesn’t look at Glimmer and instead she keeps her focus on Catra. “Why do you want me to go?”
It’s like the floor fell out from underneath her. She thought Catra would want her to stay. She asked Adora to stay last night, so why would today be different? Did she not want that any longer?
Catra looks at Adora then back at Glimmer. “Could we have a minute?”
She nods softly, the worried look still etched on her face. “Yeah. I’ll be right outside.”
Even after the door closes behind Glimmer, Catra doesn’t turn over. Adora reaches her hand out, hovering uselessly in the space between them before bringing it back down.
She’s not sure what she should say now. Glimmer’s appearance seems like the needle that popped the bubble of warmth they’d been cocooned in all morning.
Finally, Catra looks over at her. Her face is blank in a way that Adora knows is purposeful. It makes Adora’s palms sweat and her gut clench with nerves.
Before Adora can reach for words, Catra breaks the silence. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
She lets out a loud snort. “Because everything seemed fine this morning but now you can’t wait to get me to leave.”
It brings forward all the doubts Adora has wrestled with from the very beginning—whether there is truth to Adora being a convenience for Catra. Someone who can protect her when she’s a prisoner.
“Adora, it’s not like that.”
“Then what is it like?” Adora crosses her arms. “Do you regret last night?”
Catra reaches out and puts a hand on her forearm. “No.” She glances away. “But it doesn’t really fix anything, does it?”
To Adora, it changes everything. “It means something.” She insists.
“To us, sure.” Catra allows, ears pinned back. “But you clearly have things to do. The effects of the war don’t go away just because we kissed. We can’t just pretend it isn’t happening.”
She sighs, a frown finding her lips. Catra isn’t exactly wrong but that doesn’t mean Adora has to be happy about it. “So, you want me to go?”
“I don’t want you to go. But you have to.” Her lips quirk into a half-smile. “You could come see me later?”
She reaches her hands out, pulling Catra into her arms. Adora rests her chin on the magicat’s head. “Is that what you want?”
“It doesn’t matter what I want.” It’s a mumble into Adora’s chest.
She lifts her head, tilting Catra’s face up so she can see her. She runs her fingers over the apple of one of her cheeks. “It matters to me. Always.”
Adora tries to hold Catra’s eyes; to somehow show Catra, without any more words, how much she means it. How much she loves Catra. She doesn’t want to say it again right now, not when Catra hasn’t said it back, but she wants Catra to feel it. To know.
Catra slowly becomes less guarded, her eyes like halfmoons. “Then yes. I always want you to come back.”
It’s not a love confession by any means, but the soft way Catra looks at her when she says it makes Adora’s heart pump louder. It’s enough. She nods her head softly. “Okay. I’ll go with Glimmer now and I’ll come see you later.”
“It’s okay if you can’t come back tonight.” Catra’s ears prick up as she backpeddles. “I can wait.”
Adora shakes her head. “I don’t know that I can wait.” She steps in front of Catra, ducking down to place a kiss on her forehead.
Catra blinks as if not expecting soft affection from her. Slowly, she smiles. She tugs Adora down by her collar and kisses her soundly. It’s tender and languid, Catra’s lips moving at an almost torturously slow pace, her clawed hands keeping Adora in place. Adora breathes out when Catra breaks the kiss, her eyes fluttering open. She doesn’t remember closing them.
“I’ll see you, princess.”
Adora leans forward, and the next kiss tastes like a promise.
Catra doesn’t know how Adora makes it so, but she ends up in Catra’s cell every night for the next two days. For once, the cell that was her prison has almost become an escape—at least at night, when Adora is there with her.
When they’re alone, they can pretend that there isn’t a sword hanging over her head that’s surely about to swing at any second. She knows that the princesses are deliberating but they won’t hold off forever. It’s easier to ignore when she can taste Adora on her tongue and feel her on her skin.
It’s also easy to talk around. Adora tells Catra about some of her day—mostly, that she’s helping with some of the reconstruction efforts and that she’s pulled into meetings here and there. She never mentions the princesses by name by Catra knows Adora must be around them.
Every once in a while, some part of their conversation brings up her impending sentencing and Adora’s smile dims and her eyes grow worried. Catra brushes it off and Adora follows her lead, although it takes some time for her to return to normal.
There’s no point in talking about it now. All Catra can do is wait, and while she does, she’s going to have Adora in every way that she can have her. Well—all except one.
Sometimes when their kisses grow heated, it feels like when they were in the Horde. Except now, they both tiptoe around the boundary that they seemingly agreed to without speaking. Before, Catra didn’t feel right being intimate with Adora because it felt like taking advantage, given her memory loss. Now, it’s to protect herself—she’s not sure what she’ll do, if she knows Adora in that way and then loses her. She imagines Adora has her own reasons to be cautious, but Catra doesn’t dare ask.
But it’s fine. They laugh and they kiss and no matter what, Catra will have that to hold in her heart.
The days are unbearably boring now, and they seem slower without Adora around. She’d think that it’s something she’d be used to by now, given how long she’s been a prisoner, but maybe it’s just one of those things.
She startles when she hears a strong knock on the door, the wood creaking as it opens. The guards look solemn as they stand there.
It’s not time for lunch, the only time the guards ever come into her cell nowadays. There’s no obvious reason for them to be there. Well, Catra can only think of one.
“My sentencing?” She can’t help but ask.
One of the guards nod but the other stays impassive. “You’re being summoned by the princess alliance.” He shows her the same restraints they used to take her to her trial. “You must come with us.”
She fights the urge to roll her eyes. As if she hasn’t been compliant up to now—as if she didn’t choose to remain under lock and key. Times like these make her wish she could show these guards and the princesses what little success they would have at keeping her here if she didn’t allow it. Especially when they use two-bit handcuffs she can easily break out of.
She bites her lips and shoves it all down before pushing her wrists forward. She smirks as the guard almost drops the restraints when she suddenly unsheathes her claws. “Oops.”
The guard glares at her and tightens the restraints, pulling her by them. After that moment of mirth, she feels her gut tighten with nerves. It’s almost worse than the few times as a cadet that she was walking into Shadow Weaver’s office, sure to be punished. At least she knew she’d survive that—she was no good to Shadow Weaver dead.
The truth is, she doesn’t want to die. Not now. Not when there’s a future she can make out in her dreams, something worthwhile and hers. The war is over, something she never thought she’d ever get a chance to witness, and she had a hand in it. She wants to know what Etheria will become—she wants to have the opportunity to prove to everyone that she’s more than a traitor or a Force Captain.
More than anything, she has hope now. And somehow, that’s even worse than the alternative because now it feels like everything is on the line—not just her life, but her desires, her wishes, the things she’d hardly let herself think of before, let alone express.
She holds her claws together to keep from trembling. Regardless of how she feels, she won’t give the princesses the satisfaction of knowing that she’s worried. Catra holds back a sound as a figure comes to view after their long trudge down the never-ending carpeted hallway.
She doesn’t know if she should be surprised to find Adora standing there, but she is. Adora glares at the guards and almost as if on command, both unhand Catra simultaneously. It’s almost comical—she’s not sure how the princesses survived the war if their guards can be so easily intimidated. Then again, Adora stopped just being She-ra to Catra for a long time now.
Catra keeps walking forward, until she’s right in front of Adora.
Adora looks about as good as Catra feels, which is to say not good at all. Her poof is messed up and her ponytail lopsided as her eyes drag up and down Catra’s frame.
“I didn’t have time to warn you—I was in one of the villages nearby and Glimmer went to get me. I didn’t know it would be today.” Her words are a pained and rushed whisper and her eyes beg for understanding.
It should have struck Catra as odd that Adora didn’t say anything about this in the morning before saying goodbye, if she’d had any time to think about it. She tries her best at an encouraging smile. “It’s alright.” She bites her bottom lip. “Don’t you have to be there?” She juts her chin to the path they’re surely taking.
She knows that it’s Adora’s place. Regardless of what Adora might feel for Catra, she’s a princess.
Adora furrows her brow, her lips pursed. “I volunteered to walk you in.”
She raises an eyebrow. “Can you even do that?”
“Yeah.” She shrugs, as if it’s self-explanatory but her eyes look almost guarded.
It makes Catra press her. “Don’t you have to be all high and mighty with all of the members of the crown brigade?”
“I didn’t make this decision. The one they’re going to announce.” Catra’s sentencing. It’s not a dirty word, but Adora looks almost green referring to it. She runs her hand over her face, the tip of her nose turning pink. An earnest look crosses her face, the kind that all but guarantees that she’s going to say something that’s going to make Catra feel too warm and lovestruck for someone who may very well be walking into a death sentence. “Regardless of whether I’m supposed to or not—I’m standing with you. I don’t care what anyone has to say about it.”
It's so much. It pulls at the endless well of want that resides in Catra’s chest, at waves that reach toward Adora, like she’s the daymoon and Catra the tide.
“Okay.”
Adora holds her hand and flashes her an encouraging smile. She places a soft discrete kiss to her temple and says, “it’s going to be alright, Catra.”
Catra tries to keep her smile in place, but her stomach tightens with nerves. She wonders if it’s worse, that she now knows Adora loves her. If it would be better to think there was nothing to lose instead of having hope for something that likely will never come to fruition.
“Let’s just get this over with.”
Adora’s lips thin into a tight line. Her lips hover over Catra’s ear for a moment, voice barely audible if not for Catra’s hearing. “It’s not too late.” She pulls back and gives Catra a heavy look, the implication clear.
She shakes her head, not bothering with words. Adora’s offer of escape is not new or infrequent. She’d stopped insisting, but she’s always made it plain how serious she is about it. And Catra had been clear that she won’t do it.
She didn’t come this far to run like a coward. Whatever lies behind that door, Catra is going to face it one way or another. Although, it seems she’ll do it with Adora by her side and that’s much better than what she imagined this would be like.
Adora lets out a quiet sigh, taking one last longing look down the hallway before reaching down for Catra’s hands. She gently pulls the restraints off over the objections of the guards. She glares at them again and they fall silent with a whimper.
Adora hands them over, the metal clanging lightly. “You’re dismissed. I’ll take her inside.” Her voice leaves no doubt that she wants them gone and they all but scurry out of her sight.
They’re alone in the hallway now, Adora holding both of Catra’s hands in hers. She places a gentle kiss on each wrist, her blue eyes peering down at Catra.
“Whatever happens … I want you to know that I’ve got your back.” For a split second, Catra thought Adora was going to say she loved her again. She buries the disappointment she feels. It’s selfish, but Catra wishes she could hear it one last time. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”
She doesn’t bother pointing out that Adora might not have a choice. “I know you have me.” Is what she offers instead. Adora has much more of Catra than she knows. Catra looks up at the large, closed doors. “No point in putting it off.”
Adora sighs before she drops one of Catra’s hands and tangles their fingers together with the other. “Let’s go.” Her hold is almost too tight as she opens the door for Catra.
The princesses look much more composed than the last time that Catra walked into this room, all of them still in their chairs. She notices that Bow and the King are sitting toward the back of the room—everyone is there, it seems. A few of the princesses look at Catra and Adora, eyes wide as they notice their joined hands.
Queen Angella is sitting near the front, along with Glimmer. The Queen looks around for a moment, seemingly gauging whether everyone is here, or perhaps if they were prepared to move forward. Whatever it is that she was looking for she seems to find, because she leans into her chair and holds her hands together, clearing her throat.
“We all know why we are here today. I bear the responsibility of pronouncing the Princess Alliance’s decision regarding Force Captain Catra’s trial. We have evaluated everything— her actions during her tenure as a high-ranking official of the Horde and later as a defector. We did not come to this decision lightly, but we are prepared to give it.”
She looks around at the other princesses, who nod along. She tries to gauge their expressions to see if it’ll give her a clue but she can’t read them, not with how she feels like she’s going to throw up. Catra fights the urge to push her claws forward and squeeze Adora’s hand.
Angella finally looks down, her eyes lingering on her as she addresses her directly. "Catra. A lot of what you've done—you've hurt a lot of people, and that can’t be discounted or forgotten.”
Catra feels her stomach drop at the words. This is it. This is the moment where it all goes to shit.
The Queen doesn’t break her stare and Catra isn’t sure if that’s better or worse. “That said, you were instrumental in defeating the Horde. And you helped find King Micah." She looks over at her husband. “You made the decision to defect—you chose to fight for our cause when you had no idea what it might cost you.”
This isn’t the speech she expected. Catra glances at Glimmer who seems to be hiding a smile behind her hand. In fact, Angella is smiling now which is not a look Catra is overly familiar with.
"This decision is just as much about the future we are seeking to create as much as it is about justice. We wish to move forward, not backward. We decided—all of us, together—that you, Force Captain Catra, do not merit a punishment."
Catra stares blankly ahead. The words don’t sink in, not at first and when they do, she still isn’t sure she understands them. That she heard them right. "What?"
"There is no punishment." She repeats, looking around at those sitting beside her. “What message would we be sending to all the Horde soldiers who surrendered if even someone who was instrumental in our success is not a candidate for mercy and forgiveness?”
“I—are you sure?”
She looks around at the princesses. Although some look disgruntled, none look surprised by Angella’s edict.
“Catra.” Adora squeezes her hand, and Catra looks up only to find her smiling brightly. “Let’s not invite them to reconsider.”
A smattering of laughter passes through the room, and it feels lighter—the princesses turn to each other, murmurs turning into full blown conversations.
Catra hisses when she feels something move that she’s not expecting. Glimmer appears next to Catra and she’s not sure she’ll ever get used to how she can teleport.
“I haven’t adjourned the meeting!” Angella protests rather hopelessly as Glimmer all but tackles Catra into a hug, bumping them both into Adora.
Glimmer ignores her mother, much to the Queen’s chagrin. “Now we can move you out of your prison cell.” She glances over at Adora. “Both of you.” She tacks on with a knowing look.
She feels the fur under her cheeks redden, even though she’s pretty sure Glimmer’s voice is low enough that only she and Adora could hear her last comment.
“Oh, shush.” Adora chastises, looking about as embarrassed as Catra is at being called out.
Slowly, the chatter in the room increases and then it spikes when Queen Angella stands up, making her way toward King Micah, clearly giving up on making a proper end to what was probably the first Princess Alliance trial in decades, if ever.
Bow joins them, quickly closing the gap between his seat at the far end of the room. “I figure you two going to be busy for the rest of the day.”
Glimmer glances between the two, trying to keep her face neutral but failing.
Adora ignores the accidental subtext as well as she can. “Maybe. Either way I don’t think I can really get anything useful done today.” She glances over at Catra and she can’t seem to stop smiling.
“Makes sense. It’s been a trying few days.” Bow shrugs. “Honestly, feels like it’s been nonstop for a while now.”
Adora sighs and her shoulders drop, as if Bow acknowledging the stress they’ve all been under relieved some of it. “It would be nice to have a day.”
“You deserve it.” Bow encourages. He glances over at Glimmer. “Maybe we deserve a day too?”
Glimmer purses her lips. “Maybe. She groans. “But there’s so much to do.” She looks far away, as if seeing something none of them can. “We still have Hordak missing. And we haven’t even thought about those magic pools—at least, not in any meaningful way. And that’s without everything else.” Glimmer flaps her hand around her.
Adora's brow creases deeply, her jaw tense as she thinks through Glimmer's words. “That’s true.” She lets out a big sigh. “We don’t have anything to go off of for that.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised if the two things end up connected.”
Glimmer tilts her head. “Why do you think that?”
“Well, those pools of magic would be Hordak’s best chance at retaliation, isn’t it?” Catra isn’t sure if Hordak would attempt it, but it’s a possibility.
“Fair.” Glimmer shakes her head. “I’m going to ask Entrapta for more information on that. She’s tried to be helpful, but she can get distracted while she’s talking about things like that.” Frustration leaks into Glimmer’s voice.
Suddenly, Adora reaches out and whacks Glimmer’s shoulder. “When did you know that Catra wasn’t going to be punished? Why didn’t you tell me?” She sounds like she’s somewhere between genuinely angry and exasperated.
“Sorry! We came to our decision last night and you’d already left the castle by the time I looked for you in the morning.”
“You could have come by last night.” She insists before shaking her head. “I can’t believe the one day I decided to venture out early this happens.”
“It’s not like you would have actually felt relief until it was official.” Glimmer points out. “And it’s done now.”
It still feels fake—even faker than her life when she was Adora’s handler and had to pretend they had a friendship that didn’t exist.
Adora looks like she might protest some more but she cuts herself off as Queen Angella approaches, her large wings fluttering slightly behind her.
“Can I have a moment alone with you?” Queen Angella asks Catra, but her eyes dart over to Adora as if seeking permission.
Adora shrugs, taking a step back. Catra appreciates that—if she really is going to be released, then she’d prefer it if everyone didn’t act like Adora was her keeper.
The Queen almost looks embarrassed as she redirects her gaze to Catra with a question in her eyes.
She nods slightly, uncertain if she really has a choice in the matter. “Sure, your majesty.”
She follows Queen Angella through a door to what seems to be a breakout room with a table and a few seats. The celestial being looks even more imposing in the small room.
Her steps falter when Catra peers up at her, mouth dropping into a soft ‘oh’ before she snaps her jaw shut. “Catra.” She finally says, drawing out the last vowel.
“Yes?” If she doesn’t know any better, Catra might guess that the Queen s nervous.
“I won’t keep you for long.” Her hands brush across the back of a seat that’s between them. She takes a breath before starting again. “There is a memorial service we are planning toward the end of the month. To commemorate all those who passed during the war.” She looks at the far wall of the room, her grip on the chair tightening. “I thought it might be more meaningful, if someone from the Horde were able to speak on their behalf. If you would be willing?”
The question drops softly and now Angella locks eyes with her, her glance pleadingly.
She blinks up, her ears twitching down. “You want me to give a speech?” Catra isn’t sure what she was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t that.
“Say a few words.” Yeah, like that’s not what a speech is. “I think it could help bridge the gap, so to speak.”
For a moment, Catra isn’t sure what to say to that. It makes her feel uneasy. “Why did you decide not to punish me? Really?”
Catra never envisioned this possibility, not really, but now she wonders if the clemency of the princesses comes with strings attached.
“It wasn’t only my decision.” Angella quickly points out, her eyebrows slightly raised. She sighs, her lips pursed as she picks her words, jarred by the change of subject. “It wasn’t easy to reach a … consensus. But there are many reasons why it made no sense to punish you, not the least of which is your part in ending this war. It means something to us.”
“It’s not because of Adora?”
“Not really.” The Queen looks away, bashful. “I won’t say that I wasn’t moved by Adora’s defense of you. I’ve known Adora since she was a child and she’s as righteous as they come. I’ve never seen her that convinced of something.” Catra’s cheeks warm and now she’s the one to look away. “Even so, I set that aside and I made the decision I thought was right—to lead with peace.”
Catra lets out a sigh. “I have to think about it—the memorial.”
“It likely won’t be for another week or two. Take the time you need to consider it.”
Then it’s an awkward, charged moment of silence as Catra and the Queen look away from each other. It’s like there’s both too much they can say and nothing at all. They waver in front of each other before Angella clears her throat and takes a step back, freeing up Catra’s path to the door. She nods before taking that as her chance to go through the door.
Queen Angella slips off behind her, heading directly toward King Micah. The room is lighter than it was before, or maybe Catra just hadn’t noticed. Some of the princesses seem to have left, and none of them are sitting in their chairs.
Catra is scanning the room when she feels someone bump into her. She fixes her eyes on the princess she most wanted to avoid.
“We aren’t like, okay. You know that, right?” Mermista isn’t glaring, but it’s a close thing.
“Really? I couldn’t have guessed.” Catra shakes her head. “I’m surprised you didn’t ask for my head on a pike.”
Mermista’s lips wobble, as if fighting a hint of a smile. “Don’t think I didn’t.” She sighs heavily, groaning toward the end of it. “I realized—I don’t want to be like the Horde. Killing you or sending you to prison forever … it wouldn’t be right.” She admits begrudgingly.
“I’m sorry about Salineas. For the record.” Catra wasn’t sorry then—they were the enemy, and she had a job to do—but with the memorial heavy on her mind, it reminds her again that this war cost all of them. “It’s the last time I’ll apologize for it though.” She warns.
Catra doesn’t know what her life is going to look like, but she’s not going to spend it groveling at the princesses’ feet forever. There’s plenty that happened that no one could take back and she won’t be left to beg forgiveness.
“Fair enough.” She purses her lips. “I kind of want to like you.” She admits, which Catra never would have thought, given everything. “But it’s too much right now. Maybe forever.”
Catra shrugs. “I don’t expect anyone to like me.” It’s not like she isn’t used to being disliked. “Least of all you.”
She feels a presence at her back. “Is everything alright here?” There’s an edge to Adora’s voice that Catra has only heard a few times—mostly on opposite sides of the battlefield. It doesn’t stop Catra from relaxing, leaning back slightly until her hip nudges Adora’s.
Mermista isn’t cowed by Adora’s attitude. She stands up straighter, her shoulders square as she looks at the taller woman. “Everything is fine.”
Adora opens her mouth, but she freezes when she feels Catra’s fingers wrap around her arm. “Everything is fine.” She squeezes Adora reassuringly, Catra’s claws tugging gently on the material of her shirt.
Adora’s eyebrows furrow together and her gaze drops so that she locks eyes with Catra, an imploring look there. After she finds some confirmation of what she is looking for, Adora’s shoulders relax. “Okay … did I interrupt something?” Slight bewilderment crawls into her voice as she looks between Mermista and Catra.
Mermista shakes her head and moves her hand flippantly. “I was just leaving. I have things to take care of at home anyway.” It’s not the jab Catra expects to find in those words, given Mermista’s even keeled deliver of them. Her eyes dart over to Catra. “Enjoy your freedom or whatever.”
She turns on her heel, not bothering to say goodbye.
Adora tilts her head. “I feel like I’m missing something.” She admits.
“Nothing that can’t wait.” Catra drops her hand, the one that had been resting on Adora’s arm this entire time. “I’d rather get out of here.”
She doesn’t want to have to run into any of the other princesses, not even the friendlier ones. Catra just wants some time away from everyone to wrap her mind around everything that just happened.
Adora doesn’t disappoint. Her stare becomes warm and her smile slowly widens. “Of course. I know where we can go.”
Adora lets out a breath that she didn’t know she was holding in as she once again stares at Catra, the daymoon light catching on her face as she looks out into the distance. Since Adora brought Catra up to this spire their conversation has ebbed and flowed, a nonsensical line of thoughts and feelings that only makes sense because it’s between them. For now, they sit in a comfortable silence Adora has no doubt they’ll break but that she’s enjoying.
She could have asked Glimmer to get Catra a new room or take Catra to see her room but the first felt like it would take too long, and the former felt presumptuous. Besides, Adora is sure this was the right choice, especially after watching Catra’s eyes widen as curiosity fell away to the realization of where they were going.
Adora hadn’t been able to kiss Catra the last time they were here, a time that felt like ages ago. She’s dying to kiss Catra here now, but they haven’t kissed at all since Catra’s freedom was announced.
She’s not sure why they haven’t kissed. Catra isn’t being cold or distant. In fact, sitting up on this spire feels so much like when they’d been together in the Fright Zone, a soft vulnerability enveloping them and making it seem that time is hardly passing at all.
“I can’t believe they actually did it.”
It’s not the first time that Catra has murmured that exact phrase, but Adora can hardly blame her. In some ways Adora lost faith in her friends, and she still thinks she had reason to, given how they treated Catra. She’s beyond glad that they proved her wrong when it most mattered to her.
“It’s what’s right.” Adora can still call up the unbearably strong relief that threatened to choke her when she realized what was happening. There’s nothing she wouldn’t have traded, nothing she wouldn’t have given for Catra to be free, and it turned out she didn’t have to do anything at all except wait.
She raises an eyebrow. “Is it right? Or is it just what you want to happen?”
Adora rolls her eyes. “Can’t it be both?” She reaches her hand out, letting her fingers graze the top of Catra’s hand where it lays on the cold gray brick. “It isn’t just me who thinks it—the Princess Alliance agreed. Without my input, mind you.”
“From the sound of it, you made your opinion heard even if you weren’t there.”
Adora flushes at that. “I wasn’t going to stand aside and not say anything.”
There’s a twinkle in Catra’s eyes that makes Adora think she’s going to get teased mercilessly, but a thought flickers across her face, and it sobers her. “Angella asked me to speak at a memorial. For everyone we lost.”
“Oh.” Surprise fills her—she’d heard murmurs of a memorial, but between the laundry list of things that needed to get done and Catra’s fate hanging in the balance, she’d hardly thought twice about it. “Are you going to do it?”
“I don’t know.” Catra’s ears pin back, her lips pursed. “I mean—I don’t even know what I’d say. I wasn’t there by the end of it.”
“I think, if you wanted to do it, you’d be an important voice to be heard.” Adora shrugs. “Hordak’s on the run and whatever they end up doing to Shadow Weaver, I know she’s not going to be giving speeches. It could be good to have someone that can relate to the Horde soldiers. Grieve them.” She bumps her shoulder into Catra’s. “It’s your choice though.”
She has no doubt that Catra would do great, but she doesn’t want her to do things just because everyone else wants them out of her. Adora doesn’t want Catra to feel like a prisoner with a new cage, one of expectations instead of closed doors.
“I guess, part of me does want that—for someone who knows what it’s like to grow up in the Fright Zone to show up like that, but I don’t know if it should be me.” She shakes her head. “Besides, I have a lot to think about outside of that.”
“Like what?”
Catra shoots her an odd, partially guarded look. “My future. What I’m going to do now that I’m apparently not going to be stuck inside a pillow infested room for the rest of my life.”
Adora’s throat runs dry and her lips smack against each other. “Yeah, I … that’s a big thing.” She feels butterflies fluttering in her chest in a way that leaves her close to nauseous. She knows more than anything, she wishes for a future with Catra cemented at the center of it. She doesn’t know if Catra feels the same. “Have you given it much thought?”
She freezes then but she doesn’t move her hand away. Adora looks down and watches as she turns her palm up, entwining their fingers. She then glances up and finds Catra giving her a cautious look.
“Not a lot. I didn’t think this was a real possibility—to go free.” She admits. “But … I know I want to be around you. If you want that.”
And that’s when Adora realizes that Catra is nervous. “Of course I want that.” Adora has made herself plain before Catra, she doesn’t know why Catra would doubt her now. “I told you; I love you.” She reminds. “I meant it.”
Catra leans in and it almost looks like she’s going to press a kiss to Adora’s cheek. She’s so close that Adora can’t see her face when she says, "I love you too."
Adora takes a sharp breath, a giddy smile overtaking her. "Yeah?" After doubting that Catra felt the same as she did for so long, the timid confession is a balm she didn’t know she needed.
"Duh." She sniffs, backing up enough that Adora can see her. Her eyes are wide, and her cheeks flushed—Adora doesn’t know that she’ll ever get the sight out of her mind. She certainly doesn’t want to. Catra bites her lip, a fang poking out. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."
Adora hears her laugh before she realizes that it’s coming from her. Her skin feels like it might be vibrating from all the feelings trapped beneath it. “You don’t have to. Everything has been … complicated.”
Catra tilts Adora’s chin now, her eyes tight with determination. “I loved you from before—from when we were in the Horde. I need you to know I never—everything that happened behind closed doors was real for me.” She leans forward, her forehead pressed to Adora’s. “I was going to come clean that morning. But then the princesses took you and I thought you hated me once you had your memories back. You had every right to.”
Adora shakes her head, her nose bumping Catra’s. “I didn’t. I mean—I was really hurt and betrayed, but I never stopped loving you.” She feels a tear slip down her face. “That’s what made it so hard. I think I hated myself more than I ever hated you.”
Catra’s thumb finds the salty streak and she brushes it aside. “For what it’s worth, I’m really glad you didn’t stop.” She lets out a soft, barely there laugh. “I don’t know what I want to do with my life, but I know I want to spend it with you. I can deal with the princess nonsense if I get to have you.”
Adora smiles at the way Catra’s voice gets gruff. “It sounds like you like me. That must be so embarrassing for you.”
“Shut up.”
Before Adora can goad Catra into doing something about it, she presses her lips to Adora’s. Adora finds herself groaning into the kiss, surprised by the intensity of it. She’d kissed Catra many times before, but nothing felt like this. Her lips are soft and move carefully, her hands lovingly cradling Adora, like she’s something to be protected. Something precious and soft.
Adora lets her hands wander pulling one of them around Catra’s waist and the other pressed to the middle of her back, all but crushing her to Adora’s chest. By the time they pull apart, they’re both breathing heavier, eyes hooded as short bursts of giggles fill the spire. It’s the happiest Adora has felt in a long time. Maybe ever.
“You know I’m probably going to be away from time to time. Especially with Hordak still missing and the weird magical pools.” Adora warns. It wouldn’t be the first time someone had seen all the commitments that came with being She-ra and decided Adora wasn’t for them. “I’m not—I’m not easy to love.”
Catra bursts out laughing, the sound ringing across the small space. “You can’t just steal my line like that, princess.” She shakes her head, before holding Adora’s gaze. “Nothing about you is hard to love, Adora. If people didn’t know how to do it right, then that’s on them.”
Adora opens her mouth and closes it. She’s not sure that she really believes that, but after everything she and Catra have overcome to make it this far, she should have some faith in the woman she loves. But there’s something else about what Catra says that bothers Adora. “You’re worth loving, Catra.”
Her tail stops mid-air—it had been weaving in contentment before—and her eyes are almost glassy. “That’s not fair.” It would sound like a complaint if she didn’t rest her head on Adora’s shoulder.
“Deal with it.” She says easily. “You’re stuck with me now.”
Adora sags a little with her arms wrapped around Catra. She kind of hopes that it is true. There’s so much left to figure out—not only between them but about what life looks like now that the war is over. But Adora knows that if she faces those challenges with Catra, she’ll be better for it.
“You’re thinking too loud.” Catra pokes her forehead, and the familiar gesture makes Adora’s smile wider if that’s at all possible. “We’ll figure it out together.”
The words ring true and Adora does something she seldom allows—she loses herself to the present, uncaring of what future might lay before her.