Work Text:
The steady, penetrative beep of the heart monitor was a comfort to Black now.
He hated everything else about the hospital, the lifeless grey interior and disinfectant stench in the air, but the heart rate monitor gave him comfort.
He was only half a monster. Todd was not dead.
“I hope you have really horrible dreams,” Black told his best friend as he walked past Todd’s hospital bed and over to the window.
Smoking was strictly prohibited at the hospital. As with most things, Black made an exception for himself.
He exhaled the first cloud of smoke and took a second to listen in on his own heartbeat. The feeling in his core was one of content, which meant that White was happy and so Black was too.
“He’s probably with that bastard Sean,” Black told Todd, flicking ash off his cigarette.
To say that Black had been surprised by what had conspired between his little brother and his friends during his coma stint would have been an understatement. Never would he have expected his wide-eyed, skittish baby brother to turn into a pro-active revolutionist in his absence.
(Never would he have expected White to take things so far for him.)
“That’s your fault too, by the way, asshole.” Black withstood the urge to give Todd’s unconscious body a kick. “You sent him into that damn garage and look what happened? My sweet baby brother is a thug now! These assholes ate him up and you encouraged it!”
Even if it was just himself who was listening to these words, Black didn’t manage to sound as upset as he wanted to be. For a very short period of time, finding himself replaced in his own life had hurt. But the hurt hadn’t lasted.
He wasn’t sentimental enough to hold onto things that weren’t meant for him anymore.
And yet you’re here, a nasty little voice at the back of his mind whispered.
Black took one last drag of his cigarette and crushed the butt against the sole of his boot. He allowed himself to look at Todd, truly look at him for the first time since he’d come in.
The swelling in Todd’s face had gone down a little.
“Soon you’ll be a handsome motherfucker again. Then the nurses will treat you even better than now, Khun Chai.”
Todd didn’t react. He never did.
Black was content to just sit and watch him.
He stayed until the nurse came in, telling him visitting hours were over and so he left.
He was in the elevator down when his phone started ringing. He picked up only because it was White’s name flashing on the screen.
“What?” he greeted.
“Do you want to come to the garage tonight? We’re having dinner together!”
“No, thank you.”
“Black.”
“White.”
White didn’t say anything else, letting Black stew in the accusatory silence.
Black sighed. “I’m not even in town,” he lied. “I’ll come next time.”
He wouldn’t, but that would be a battle for another day.
“Please, come. I miss you.”
Black clenched his teeth. What a sneaky little bastard, his brother had become. He ignored the painful pounding of his heart.
“I’m really not in town,” he lied more convincingly. “Have a beer on me.”
“Okay. When can we see you again?”
We , White said because of course that clingy fucker Sean would come along. We , he said as if White’s we had never been them. As if Black hadn’t been a we with White long before any outsider. And now it was him who was on the outside.
“I’ll be around.”
He always was. He didn’t want White to think that he wouldn’t be there if he needed him, even if he skipped out on family dinners with the garage boys.
“You know I’ve got your back,” Black added.
“I know.” The easy way in which White replied gave Black comfort. It was important to him that White knew he’d be there for him. That his baby brother still trusted him.
With nothing more to say, he hung up.
His fingers itched for a cigarette as he stepped out of the hospital. He used them to massage his wildly pounding heart.
It was too much sometimes, feeling things. So he chose not to.
*
“Welcome back, Mr Black.”
Black inclined his head at the receptionist, but didn’t stop. His mail wasn’t delivered to here and he wasn’t interested in small talk. The elevator to the penthouse was separate from all the others. As if breathing the same air as the occupants living in the fifteen stories below would have been too much of a burden.
Black cursed Todd in his head. That was one of his favourite things to do, really.
The elevator doors opened with a quiet ding and he stepped into the penthouse. After weeks of occupying the space, he saw traces of himself even if he had tried to avoid that. There was his jacket thrown over the back of the couch. Bags from his favourite take-out place piled up by the trash. His laundry was drying on the chandelier in the dining room.
Invading Todd’s penthouse had been a joke at the beginning. After saving his brother and his dumbfuck friends from Tawi’s clutches, he’d come back here to mess up the place like he had messed up Todd’s face.
He’d gone to town with a baseball bat on the expensive interior design. He’d raided the liquor cabinet, cracked the code to the hi-fi system and partied by himself until he’d woken up in a pool of his own vomit. Because it hadn’t helped, he’d repeated the process two more times. He’d done anything and everything he had been able to think of to get rid of the tightness in his chest whenever he thought of Todd, but none of it had worked.
So, he kept coming back. Spending the nights in Todd’s luxurious bed was still better than spending them on the streets while he looked for something new. Black had played the game and he’d lost it. White was playing for him now, so he ought to leave and find someone new to be.
But a week in Todd’s penthouse had turned into two and he had really been planning to leave. But then the lawyers had showed up in front of his-- no, Todd’s door.
Black had thought that they were cops here to arrest him. But they hadn’t seemed interested in any of that. The only thing they’d been interested in was him.
“As you know, Mr Todd was his father’s only heir and with him out of commission--”
“We wish him a speedy recovery,” the other lawyer had interjected.
“--the estate falls into the hands of the next-of-kin that is named in the will.”
“Okay.” Standing in front of them in his underwear, Black had finally understood what they had been trying to tell him. They had come to kick him out in order to make space for the smarmy bastard that would take Todd’s place.
“He put your name for it.” One of the lawyers had dropped a bunch of papers on the half-shattered dining table. “In case of death or debilitating sickness, all privileges and responsibilities of managing the estate fall to you, his legally named successor.”
Black had felt as if a trapdoor had opened beneath him. “What?”
“You’re his heir, Mr Black. Should anything happen to him, you’re the one that gets everything. All that he owned--”
“Owns,” the other lawyer had corrected. “We’re still hopeful Mr Todd will overcome his current condition.”
“--is now yours. You own this.” The lawyer had gestured at the papers, and then at their surroundings. “All of it.”
So here Todd was, trespassing a property that he technically owned. Thinking about these things made his oncoming headache worse so he shed his clothes down to his underwear and crawled into bed.
It had been two months since their showdown in the pool and still the sheets smelled like Todd. Black didn’t know what he was going to do when they stopped.
For now, he placed his phone face-down on the bedside table and slept.
*
The thing about White’s new-found confidence was that it made him a hundred times more annoying in reaching out to Black. When they had been kids, Black had given the orders and White had simply followed them. Now, no matter how many times Black told him to stop texting, White wasn’t deterred.
White: Do you want to come to lunch with us?
Attached to the question came a selfie of him, Sean, Yok and Gram at a table in the university cafeteria.
Black: Can’t. I’m busy.
It wasn’t even a lie.
He currently sat in Todd’s office in the penthouse, stacks of paper surrounding him. He had another couple of months left of his sick leave from university. Technically, he was supposed to use this time to recuperate and do physical therapy. Practically, he’d been busy working through documents over documents. It took some effort, managing an estate into the ground.
White: Busy with what?
Black: Work.
White: What work? Do you need help?
Black: No.
White: Okay.
White: Stay safe.
White: Love you.
Black: Enjoy your food.
Black sighed, covering the heart White sent with his thumb. Then, he scrolled back up to the group selfie that White had sent. Despite himself, Black smiled at the photo. White looked happy and that was all he wanted. It was the reason why he could not say yes to White’s invitations.
Only if they stayed apart did White have a chance at a happy life. He didn’t need a catalyst like Black in his life. The same went for any of his friends.
It was the reason he stayed away now, only allowing his loved ones to reach out to him via phone. He clicked out of the chat with White and scrolled through his messenger list.
Right under White’s contact, Gram’s was gaining notifications by the minute. Gram spammed his phone every day with updates on his life that Black read but never replied to.
He had only marked the message with a thumbs-up in which Gram had told him how he had broken up with Eugene. Whether Eugene had left him or he had left her wasn’t clear, but Black had seen on social media how Eugene had run off to France with her new dance crew. Good for her. Gram didn’t seem to be overly sad because even though he hadn’t said it outright so far, Black could see how many times Nuchy’s name popped up in his messages again.
Yok below Gram was scarcer with his updates, but his messages ran deeper. Heartfelt. Black had only replied once, to a selfie that Yok had sent him of him and his new boyfriend.
Black: If that cop boyfriend of yours ever mistreats you, call me and I’ll get rid of him.
Everything after that, Black hadn’t bothered reading. Everyone else’s chats, he didn’t bother opening.
One time, his mother had tried to call him. Black had seen her name flash on his screen and laughed until after the ringtone had rung out. The only thing his mother had ever done for him was give him White.
He put his phone away and focussed back on the papers around him. He had wealth to redistribute.
*
Sometimes, when Black couldn’t sleep, he visitted Todd at night. It was easy enough to steal some scrubs and sneak past the two, maybe three, over-worked night shift nurses that were walking around the station.
Black sat in the window of Todd’s room and watched him breathe. The swelling in his face had gone down further. His broken bones were slowly healing too. On the outside, he was coming back to life.
“You should wake up soon,” Black told him. “I sold your Maserati today. The Porsche is next. If you don’t wake up soon, I’ll sell every stupid sports car in your garage and use the money to sponsor animal shelters and food programs for underprivileged children until it’s all gone.”
The threat didn’t seem to faze Todd. He didn’t wake up. He didn’t even move, safe for the steady up and down of his chest.
Maybe he never would.
Black watched Todd until he couldn’t take it anymore. He turned his head to look out of the window instead. The cold air of the night didn’t help. His heart hurt so much it was hard to breathe. With shaking fingers, he dropped his cigarette and fumbled his phone out of his pocket.
White picked up on the second ring, his words slurred with sleep, “Hello? Black?”
“White?”
“Tell him to call again at a socially acceptable time!” Sean’s muffled voice came through.
Black gripped the phone tighter as he listened to White tell his boyfriend off. There was rustling, the rhythmic slap of bare feet against concrete and then White’s voice became clearer. “Black?”
Breathing was so hard. “Are you okay?” Black barked into the receiver.
“Yes, of course.”
Black massaged his chest. “Are you sure?”
“I’m fine, Black. Why? What’s going on?””
“Nothing, nothing.” He squeezed his eyes shut, forcing himself to calm down. “My chest started hurting so I thought something must have happened to you.”
“It’s not me. I’m fine, I promise. I wasn’t even doing anything funny. I was just sleeping.”
Black nodded. “Good.”
“Where are you right now?”
“Away.”
“Are you okay, Black? If you tell me where you are, we can come and get you.”
We can come and get you.
“It’s fine. I have to go now.”
“No, wait, Black--”
Black killed the line and dropped his phone next to his cigarette. The screen lit up with another notification.
White: Come by the garage. Or pick any place you want, but let’s meet. Please.
White: I love you forever, Black.
Black stayed on the window sill until his breathing returned to normal. Then he picked up his phone, threw the burnt-out cigarette butt out the window and left. He didn’t bother looking at his phone another time.
He had played the game and lost. White was playing for him now. There was no reason for him to come back.
*
The investors didn’t like him. Black wasn’t fazed by that.
Todd had been right about one thing. There was always someone else eager to take his place. To become the next Tawi. The next rich asshole grappling for every bit of power they could seize.
They were blocking many of his plans, but Black found ways. It was so easy to destroy Todd’s empire when the sharks were always circling.
Black found perverse enjoyment in pitting all these mighty men against each other so they destroyed each other and took Todd’s businesses down with them.
“No wonder you turned into an asshole, being surrounded by assholes all day like that.”
No matter how many business meetings Black attended to make the worst and most charitable decisions he could, there always seemed to be more money to burn.
Black had grown up wealthy himself, but he was no match to Todd’s fuck-you wealth.
“You better stay asleep,” Black told Todd after weeks of gruelling business meetings. It was getting hotter outside and Black withstood the urge to rip the sleeves off his stolen hospital gown. “It’s going to take me ages to undo all the bullshit your father and grandfather did.”
Todd didn’t rise in the face of such an insult. His face was back to its original state and now it looked like he was merely sleeping. As if he would open his eyes any moment and shoot Black one of his mischievous grins, eyes alight with a sparkling greed Black had never understood.
Black felt the need to decorate Todd’s face in purple and black all over again.
“Bastard,” he spit just to make himself feel better. It didn’t work.
His chest was hurting all the time these days. It was bad at the penthouse, and worse when he came here. Black didn’t know why he still came here.
Maybe he wanted to finish things. Maybe he hadn’t yet accepted that he never could.
Todd was his best friend, after all.
Black lit another cigarette before he exploded.
Maybe that’s why Black came here every day, speaking to Todd even though Todd was in a place beyond hearing him.
Todd had known him, truly known him in a way that not even White knew him. Black had always been careful to hide his violent tendencies from his little brother. Black had never let him see. Todd had seen it all.
Todd had been there when Black’s parents had decided to separate and split the twins apart.
Black had accepted early-on in his life that he was the bad twin in the equation, but he hadn’t truly lost his footing until their parents had taken his little brother away from him. Like a toy that he no longer deserved because he couldn’t play nice.
It still made him laugh sometimes, that his mother had thought Black would ever forgive her for that. Black was sure she had hoped for a better, calmer son without White there. She hadn’t understood that White had been the anchor keeping all his rage at bay.
Todd had held him that night, and many nights after when Black had cried until he was throwing up because it hurt so much. When he had raged and hurt people for even looking at him.
Todd had been there in those days and months and years. He’d been there every day and month and year of Black’s life.
“I should have killed you,” Black mumbled.
His phone rang, but he didn’t pick up. He had no explanation to give to White as to why he was transmitting so much pain.
*
Every Sunday, Black got black-out drunk. As with everything else, Todd’s liquor cabinet seemed to be bottomless and Black liked to indulge himself.
He’d broken the hi-fi system a couple of weeks ago, so he swayed to the music in his head. Broke another vase. Opened another bottle.
Time didn’t matter.
Nothing mattered when you were alone with all the money and the power in the world.
Maybe that was what had driven Todd insane. Maybe that was why Todd had felt the need to betray him. If nothing mattered, breaking something unbreakable must have felt like an act of god.
Like finally there was something that did matter in the world.
“Asshole!” Black yelled and dropped the bottle in his hand. It shattered on the ground. It didn’t matter.
Black stumbled into the bedroom. He went over to Todd’s closet and pulled out the first shirt he could get his hands on.
Clutching the expensive fabric to his chest, he stumbled over to the bed and fell into it. With the last of his strength, he pulled the shirt out from under himself and pressed it against his face.
The shirt smelled like the worst of his high school nights and the best of his summers. It smelled familiar, unchanging in spite of it all. It gave him an unexpected modicum of comfort where Black had nothing else to turn back to.
“I’ll kill you,” Black muttered and fell asleep.
*
“I will kill you.”
Black opened his eyes slowly. His head was pounding and the sunlight shining through the windows made him want to curl up in a dark hole and die.
He groaned and sat up, fighting to keep his eyes open. When he did, his heart jumped into his throat.
“Fuck,” Black rasped out.
“Is this how you greet an old friend?” Todd asked.
He stood in the door looking exactly like Black remembered him. Dressed in all black instead of a hospital gown. Looking like Black had never laid a finger on him. And there it was, that spark in his eyes.
Greed. Insanity. Joy.
Black couldn’t tell. He was too busy falling out of bed in his attempt to get to his feet. He threw the first thing he could get a hold of, which happened to be the bedside lamp.
For someone who was supposed to be in a coma, Todd dodged it well. The lamp shattered against the wall behind him but neither of them looked.
Todd looked at him as if to ask, “Really?” Then, he advanced.
Black inched along the wall and tried to come up with a way to get past him. The door was open. If he made it to the living room, he could get his bat and--
“Are you seriously trying to run from me?” Todd laughed. It sounded so real. Black wanted to hold onto the idea that this was a dream, an illusion his hungover brain had come up with, but the slight limp to Todd’s gait gave it away.
This was real.
Todd picked up a ball of dirty socks and threw it at Black’s chest. “I should kill you first for the mess I’ve woken up to.”
“Try.” Even if he was with his back against the wall, Black jutted out his chin. It was so easy to tap into anger. Anger was always there. “Maybe you’ll succeed this time.”
A terrible grin split Todd’s face. He surged forward at the same moment that Black tried to bolt past him. Black was caught by an arm around his waist and then he was weightless, feet kicking in the air before he crashed to the ground.
Todd fell with him, landing on top of him to keep him down. Black shot out his arms to throw Todd off, but Todd caught his wrists and pressed his arms to the ground.
“Let go, you bastard!”
“No.” Todd leaned down and Black’s breath caught in his throat. He hoped his eyes showed all the hatred he felt.
“You really had a great time, didn’t you? Trashing my place? Ruining my businesses?”
Black bared his teeth.
Todd tilted his head. “Did you learn? What it means to be me? Did you enjoy it? Living like me?”
Black bucked his hips to shake him off. “I hated every second!”
A terrible grin split Todd’s face. “I don’t believe you.”
Black spit in his face. Todd punched him in the guts. Black ripped his arms free and twisted around to crawl out from under Todd’s body. He didn’t get very far before a hand curled into his hair and his face was smashed into the carpet.
Todd’s weight re-settled on the small of his back. “Aren’t you tired of fighting?”
“Shut the fuck up,” Black grunted, struggling to free himself.
“ I am tired of fighting.”
“Funny,” Black continued to struggle, “I thought you’d be wide awake after sleeping for so long.”
He gasped when the weight lifted off his back. He lost no time jumping to his feet, but was promptly cut off when a hand wrapped around his throat from behind and he was pushed up against the nearest wall.
His feet barely touched the ground, his eyes bulging as he clawed at Todd’s hand around his throat.
Greed. Insanity. Joy.
Todd smiled at him. “The nurses told me that you visitted me every day. Why did you do that, Black?”
It hurt more than any punch Todd had ever thrown in his direction.
“I had to make sure you weren’t waking up,” Black spit. Anger. As long as he held onto his anger, he would be fine.
Todd pulled far enough away so that he could look at Black. His eyes were bright enough to start a fire. “The doorman told me that you’ve been living here. Eating my food. Wearing my clothes. Even running my businesses. And still you pretend that we are not the same?”
“I’m nothing like you.”
“You’re exactly like me.” Todd chuckled. “You just won’t admit it to yourself.”
Black huffed. “I’m so much better than you. You were given so much and you still wanted more. I was given enough and tried to make things better with it.”
Todd’s smile only grew. “I’m not talking about that.”
Black tried to kick him, but Todd didn’t falter. “Stop it already, Black. You can fight me, but you can’t fight it.”
“Fuck it , whatever that is.”
Greed. Insanity. Joy. All of it came together to create an expression on Todd’s face that made Black’s insides turn.
“ It is you and I, Black.” Todd inhaled deeply. “ It is the fact that you have no one else but me. You’ll never be able to have anyone else.”
Black’s chest grew tight, even if Todd wasn’t pressing down on his wind pipe. “I don’t have you.”
“You do.” For the first time, Black could see pain in Todd’s eyes. “As tragic as it is, I love you too much to walk away and the same goes for you. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here right now.”
Black huffed. “Any love I may have had for you died the day you put me in a coma.”
“You repaid the favour.” Todd shrugged. “I think we’re even in that regard, don’t you think?”
“We will never be even!”
“What, because I got White involved?”
“You sent him there! He almost got caught in the crossfire because of you!”
“But he didn’t.”
“He’s my little brother!” Black pushed against the arms holding him. “You had no right to bring him here!”
“That’s right, I brought him here! You’re welcome!”
Black seethed. “You had no right.”
“Do you want to play this game all day, Black? Play who’s-the-better-person when the world doesn’t give a fuck about either of us? Or why are you here instead of with your brother?”
Black hissed. “Fuck you. I should have killed you while I had the chance.”
“You can tell yourself that you hate me. You can punch, and kick and scream at me. But at the end of the day, this is where we are, Black.” Todd’s smile grew incredibly wide. “Right here. Alive, the both of us because we can’t kill each other. You didn’t kill me just like I couldn’t kill you, because it has been, is and will always be you and I in the end. Whether we like it or not.”
Black felt like he was going to choke on his own breath. Die by the heart in his own chest giving up on him. He did the only thing he knew to do. He lashed out.
Todd laughed and laughed and laughed and then he hit him back.
*
Black’s entire body was sluggish and in pain. His soul was burning, bleeding out of him with every punch that Todd landed on him. He didn’t know when he stopped hitting back. He didn’t know when Todd did.
They found themselves on the floor, lying shoulder to shoulder like they used to do when they were little and the world hadn’t hurt them yet. When they hadn’t been anything, or anyone, but each other’s best friend.
“I thought of you the moment I woke up,” Todd said, minutes or hours into the quiet between them. Black couldn’t tell. Time didn’t matter.
“Likewise,” Black said.
Blood trickled from a cut in the corner of Todd’s mouth as he smiled. He turned his head so they could look at each other.
Black had been looking at him all along.
“Will you ever be able to forgive me?”
“Never.”
Todd frowned. “You shouldn’t lie, Black. You can’t hate me forever.”
Black gritted his teeth. “Watch me. I’ll hate you until you die.”
“You won’t.”
“Stop trying to tell me how I feel. You don’t know how I feel.”
“Oh, but I do. There’s no one in the world who knows you better than I do, Black, not even White. And I have to spell out these emotions of yours because you won’t admit to having them. That shit hurts you more than I ever could.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
He wheezed when Todd grabbed his hand. His first instinct was to kick him, but he had done plenty of that already. He was tired. So he only glared at Todd.
Todd only smiled. For some reason, it made Black breathe easier.
“You don’t hate me. You hate yourself, Black, because you can’t bring yourself to hate me. You proved as much when you let me live. I’m the antithesis to all of your ideals and yet you only did as bad to me as I did to you.”
“I really should have killed you.”
“You’re not a killer, Black.”
“But you’re a liar.”
“I’m not a liar. I’ve given it all, Black, and you made sure I paid the price. I have no reason to lie. There’s nothing left to lie about.”
“Liar,” Black said again because that would have been easier. If he told himself that Todd was lying, then he didn’t have to accept the truth. “I hate you.”
“You want and you hate, but only one of these things applies to me.” Todd smirked.
“Insane bastard.”
“I thought you knew that the moment you got the papers.”
“You were really fucking out of your mind for that.”
Todd shrugged. “I thought you might understand me more if you had to live my life.”
Black gritted his teeth, cursing Todd in his head because that was exactly what had happened. “Being surrounded by assholes doesn’t give you the right to become one.”
“Then help me.”
“What do you mean?”
“Help me not become an asshole. Pull me out of it. Help me.”
“You’re actually insane.”
“I thought we’ve already established that.”
“Why?” Black couldn’t help but ask. “Why me?”
“It has to be you.”
Black felt his heart seize. He thought it might beat out of his rib cage, it was going so fast. So he did what he did best. He deflected, “What, I put you in a coma and suddenly you’re willing to change your ways? Become a philanthropist?”
Todd looked at him, long and hard and then nodded. “For you, I would.”
Black’s heart skipped a beat. “I don’t believe you.”
“Didn’t I already do it? Didn’t I already give you everything and let you burn it to the ground?”
Now, it was Black’s turn to grin, “I’ve barely even started.”
Todd nodded. “I won’t stop you.”
“You really mean that.” Black’s grin disappeared. It wasn’t a question. He could see the answer in Todd’s gaze. The earnestness in Todd’s eyes terrified him.
“I won’t stop you,” Todd repeated.
Black lightly shook his head. “You don’t mean that. You chose your money and power over me before.”
“I’m not infalliable, Black. I am not like you. I am not righteous. My family’s business was my White. It’s all I had left. And I understand why I will never be forgiven. But at least I forgive you for loving the world more than me. You were never able to forgive me for doing the opposite.”
If Todd had slapped him, Black was sure it would have hurt less.
“Of course, I loved you.” The words came out of Black’s mouth before he could stop them. It was just a symptom of his anger. Anger made him speak recklessly. Anger consumed him as long as Todd didn’t understand.
Todd’s eyes widened in shock. “What?”
“Of course, I loved you!” Black spit. Suddenly, there was strength in his bones again and he used it to hit Todd’s chest. “I loved you! I loved you the most and you betrayed me! You want my forgiveness? I’ll never forgive you!”
Todd sat up. Shock and something worse, something like hope took over his face. “I’m sorry.”
“Fuck you!” Black hit him again, but this time Todd caught his arms.
“Love me again.”
“Fuck you, bastard!”
“No, Black, love me again!”
Todd’s eyes were dark in colour and yet they were the brightest thing in the room. Black could see it now. Who he felt greed for. Who drove him insane. Who brought him so much joy.
“Love me again, Black.”
Uncaring of Black’s attempts at hitting him again, Todd pulled him closer. He did it until their faces were only centimetres apart. Until it felt like they were hugging more than fighting.
With familiar arms around him, Black recalled a hundred memories at once.
Black was a toddler and Todd was handing him a red toy truck because their mother had forgotten to pack toys for both of her sons and he’d given his to White. Black was a child and with half of his soul gone, he clung to Todd. Black was a teenager and with all of Todd’s family gone, he held Todd until everything was okay again.
Every moment of his life, every moment of his life he had shared with Todd. All of it distorted the image of Todd he saw in front of him right now. Last of all, he remembered what it had felt like, underwater in Todd’s pool, and what it had felt like when Todd had pulled him out.
“Love me again, Black.”
Black’s heart seized in his chest so violently it stole his breath. He wanted it to stop hurting. He wanted it to stop hurting so he leaned in and pressed his lips against Todd’s.
It felt like the first sip of water after his coma. It felt like the first drag of a cigarette. It felt like something he should have, but never would be willing to let go of.
Not once did Todd stop kissing him.
*
“You sold my favourite car?”
Black took a deep drag of his cigarette before he handed it over. “I should have run you over with it.”
Todd took the cigarette and tapped off the ashes into the ashtray on the bedside table before he took a drag. Black watched the way his muscles shifted as he did so. “It’s okay, I’ll just buy another one.”
Black scoffed, taking his cigarette back. “You have to fund at least two charitable organisations before I’ll let you do that.”
“Do to me what you did ten minutes ago and I’ll make it three.”
Black kicked him under the sheets they shared. “You’re really going to make watching over your megalomaniac tendencies into my full time job, won’t you?”
“Yes.” Todd threw his arms around him and pulled him close. “Stay close.” He accentuated every of his sentences with a kiss to Black’s cheek. “Never leave my side. Let’s rule the world together.”
“Insane bastard.”
Todd only kissed him. And because he was tired of hurting without him, Black kissed him back.
*
White picked up after the first ring.
“Black!”
Standing in front of the floor-length windows of the penthouse, Black smiled. “Hello, little brother.”
“I’m so happy you’re calling! How are you, Black? Are you in town?”
“I’m in town.” He looked down to where the city was slowly but surely coming to life.
“Do you--” After so many months of rejection, White hesitated. But he powered through it. His little brother would never give up on Black, just like Black would never give up on him. “Do you want to come to dinner tonight at the garage? Gumpa’s going to order pizza! You like pizza, so you should come. Only if you want, of course, but everyone would be so happy to see you.”
“Sure,” Black said.
“Please, Black, I--wait, what? You’ll come?” Shuffling on the other end of the line. Then, louder, “You’ll really come?”
“Yes.” Black smiled. He didn’t know whether he did so because of his own feelings or the unbound joy echoing in his chest. It didn’t matter much. Happiness was happiness. His smile grew when soft lips pressed against his nape. “ We will be there.”