Chapter Text
Regulus doesn’t quite realise what’s happening at first. He coughs up mouthful after mouthful of water, and then it’s all too much and something within his body gives up. It’s like he decides to give in to it, to let himself drown. His body is oddly dry, so the whole situation doesn’t make sense. How can he be drowning when he’s not even in water? But he doesn’t have a chance to think any of it through. He falls forwards, onto a patch of damp grass, and everything goes black.
When he comes to, there are strong, familiar arms around him. Protecting him.
‘Siri?’ he croaks, before coughing up another couple of mouthfuls of water. He winces and opens his eyes slowly, trying to adjust to the dark and make out the shapes around him.
‘Uh, he’s not here…’ There’s a hesitant, awkward laugh, and just as the arms help to reposition Regulus against his shoulder, it’s James’s voice that says, ‘But I can run and get him if you want.’
Regulus leans into James’s touch without thinking.
‘No,’ two voices from behind them say at the same time. Barty and Evan.
Regulus’s head whips round and he immediately regrets it, letting out a groan. ‘Get over here, you idiots,’ he mutters. ‘What’s going on?’ He tries to make sense of the images going through his mind, to untangle reality from whatever hallucinations he must have been having.
Barty and Evan whisper to each other as they come around to kneel in front of Regulus, and they both shoot James uneasy looks.
‘This is bad,’ Evan murmurs, partly under his breath, and partly to Regulus.
‘Didn’t know you had it in you,’ Barty mutters, seeming to address James.
James holds Regulus closer. ‘Don’t worry about it, love,’ he says quietly, his voice shaking a little. ‘It doesn’t matter what happened. What’s important is that you’re okay.’
Regulus frowns. None of this is making sense. ‘I… I drowned,’ he manages to say, his voice still an odd croaking sound.
‘Yeah,’ Evan sighs. ‘We tried to help, but—’
He glances around. They’re by the forbidden forest, nowhere near the lake or any other body of water that he can see. But that must have been where he was. ‘How did I get here? Did you pull me out?’ he asks James. He knows he should push him away. He’s starting to feel more aware of his surroundings now. In particular, he knows he shouldn’t allow James to hold him so tightly, so intimately. But right now he just wants his comfort, and James doesn’t seem to mind giving it.
‘Not exactly,’ James says, making a face that is a mixture of guilt and pain. ‘But I stopped you from drowning.’
Barty opens his mouth to say something, but when James glares at him, he shuts it.
‘Ugh,’ Regulus groans. ‘None of you are making sense. How did I get in this fucking—’ he blinks again, searching their surroundings for movement, whipping his head from one side to the other, but there’s no one there, there’s no one anywhere except—
‘We should go,’ Barty says, reaching down to try and pull Regulus up by the wrist.
‘Is that Mulciber?’ Regulus’s eyes snap to the motionless body on the floor in front of them.
This time, Barty, Evan and James all share a look, like they’re communicating silently. As if they’re trying to decide whether or not Regulus is capable of handling the truth about whatever this is.
‘James,’ Regulus tries again, turning slightly in his arms to face him. He tries to ignore the way his touch makes the hairs on his arms stand on end, the shiver that runs down his arm. He hasn’t been touched by James in so long. He shakes off the thought. This is about Mulciber, lying there in front of them. Not moving. Regulus vaguely remembers Mulciber insulting someone, and then Sirius was there. Then Mulciber turned on Regulus. But after that it’s all a bit of a blur. ‘Did I curse him?’ Regulus asks quietly.
James’s eyes widen and he shakes his head slowly, this time not breaking eye contact with Regulus. ‘I did,’ he admits, his voice shaking once more. ‘He was hurting you. He was—he was killing you, Reg. The drowning spell that he cast on you, I couldn’t figure out the counter curse. And there was no time to figure it out, so I had to stop it.’
Regulus frowns. Because that doesn’t make sense either. ‘But the only way to stop another wizard’s curse is—’
‘For fuck’s sake,’ Barty groans. ‘Potter killed him. He’s been lying there dead while we waited to see if you were gone too.’ He says it confidently, like the thought doesn’t bother him in the slightest. But Regulus doesn’t miss the way Evan winces at how hard Barty is squeezing his hand.
‘I’m okay, Bee,’ Regulus says gently. He uses the nickname he hasn’t heard himself say in years, and it seems to make something in his expression soften. ‘Ev, will you take him back to the dorm? I’ll be there soon, just got to fix this,’ he says, vaguely gesturing towards Mulciber’s body.
Evan doesn’t move. ‘How exactly are you planning to fix it?’ he asks, narrowing his eyes.
Regulus ignores the way James stiffens behind him. ‘We’re lucky no one else is around,’ he starts, clearing his throat as he starts to come back into himself. ‘I’ll come up with a cover story.’ He goes through some options in his mind. ‘Mm, James’s wand history would give him away, but they’re unlikely to know any of us were here. We could just clear any trace of our presence, then leave him here for the teachers to find in the morning,’ Regulus suggests, more to himself than the others.
‘Reg, love,’ James says, stroking his shoulder gently. His tone is clipped, like he’s trying to hide all emotion from it. ‘That won’t work.’
Regulus scoffs, shooting Barty and Evan a look, as if to get them to back him up.
‘Babe, he’s right,’ Barty says with a shrug. ‘You can’t cover this up, loads of people saw.’
Regulus purses his lips, ready to argue with them both.
Evan pulls Barty onto his shoulder and nods. ‘Yeah, sorry but I don’t see how even you can fix this. Everyone saw Mulciber having a go at you, and by the time James appeared, there were still some people hanging around.’
Regulus sighs. ‘Show me.’ He reaches into his pocket for his wand.
Evan sits down opposite him, nodding in acceptance, despite the grim look on his face. Legilimency is never comfortable, but Evan would never deny Regulus if he thought it would help.
‘Wait,’ James interrupts. ‘You two were busy trying to stop Avery and Wilkes. I’m the only one who got a good look at everything from under the cloak.’
Evan shrugs. ‘Don’t need to tell me twice. Go for it, Potter.’
Regulus slowly peels himself away from James. It’s cold, out of his hold all of a sudden, and it’s difficult to look James in the eye afterwards. He’s still angry with him, angry with Lily. He’s just really fucking angry. He lets out a long exhale, holding James’s gaze. There are so many things he wants to say to him. But only one of them come out. ‘You really killed Mulciber?’
Barty chokes out a laugh, but shuts up when Evan nudges him.
James ignores them, and nods. ‘I did it for you,’ he says simply. He’s sitting in front of Regulus, wide-eyed, watching and waiting for him to respond.
Something within Regulus aches at that, and he knows James needs his help. James wouldn’t have the slightest idea how to go about covering this up. It’s not like Regulus has done this before, but he’ll figure something out, he’s sure of it.
‘Are you angry?’ James asks, fiddling with his fingers, like he’s nervous.
Regulus rolls his eyes. ‘Yes. But not about that.’
James gulps, but doesn’t say anything else.
‘Are you sure you’re up for this?’ Regulus asks. ‘Legilimency can be painful. And sometimes you end up sharing more than you intend to.’
‘I trust you,’ James says, holding out his arms.
Regulus sees the scars exposed on James’s left forearm, uncovered, but with no new ones. He nods and waves his wand before grabbing hold of his wrists and casting, ‘Legilimens.’
It’s not long before Regulus sees the scene, exactly as Evan said. There were too many Slytherins there at the beginning, they all saw the confrontation between Regulus and Mulciber. When Mulciber casts the drowning spell, Regulus holds onto James more tightly. Not because he needs to strengthen the spell, but because he wants to be close to him. As pathetic as it feels, James doesn’t push him away.
Regulus averts his eyes—it’s too painful to watch himself swallow down all that water, struggling on his knees to take in any air. Much of the crowd has dispersed, probably scared of becoming caught up in the aftermath of whatever this is. He looks closely at every single face of those still here, and makes sure he knows their names. It’s almost all Slytherin students, along with a couple of Ravenclaws.
James casting ‘Avada Kedavra’ draws Regulus’s face around, and he stares into James’s eyes, wild and angry, his teeth bared. James looks like he’s glad Mulciber is dead, like he wishes he could kill him again. The look on his face makes Regulus shiver.
Regulus is just about ready to leave James’s mind, but he can’t help lingering on James for a little while. He doesn’t just look, either. He wonders how James could be so passionate about protecting him, given what he did. Given what he did with her.
The Legilimens is still active, so when Regulus’s mind delves further into these questions, James’s mind answers.
First, there’s James lying in a bed, covered in pink and purple fluffy cushions and blankets, sobbing.
Regulus shakes his head. He doesn’t need to see that. James isn’t the only one who cried over what happened, and he doesn’t care about witnessing the product of James’s guilt.
Next, Regulus appears in the Ravenclaw common room, where it all happened. But he’s not where he remembers being, he’s right by James. James, who is gushing to Lily all about Regulus. He sounds wrong, though. James’s voice is too high-pitched, his eyes glazed over. Like he doesn’t even really know what he’s saying.
Again, Regulus vigorously shakes his head. He doesn’t want to watch this, either.
James’s mind responds once more, taking him to the lake. Where Peter Pettigrew is measuring out a potion that Regulus recognises. Each vial contains more than twice what Regulus would take in one go, and Regulus has been able to build up a tolerance.
Still, Peter doesn’t seem to know or care how dangerous this could be, and he lets James down the contents of an entire vial. And then, he leaves him.
Next, James’s mind runs through a whizz of images of James nearly drowning, of Lily finding him, trying to put him to bed, but James begging for Regulus.
Regulus pulls himself out of James’s mind and lets go, his hands falling down onto the wet grass.
James’s eyes are filled with tears as he stares back at Regulus. ‘I’m sorry,’ he says, so quietly that it’s hard to hear, but Regulus can read his lips. ‘I fucked up, but I’ll do anything to make it up to you, love. I promise, I—’
Regulus shakes his head. ‘Not now,’ he says harshly, a cold tone to his voice. ‘Barty, Evan. I’m going to give you each a list of names. I want you to find every one of them and bring them to me, immediately. If you see them running their mouth off to anyone, bring that person to me as well.’
‘But Reg—’ James starts.
‘Not now, James,’ Regulus hisses.
‘Course,’ Barty assures him, pulling Evan away once Regulus has given them each a piece of parchment with names listed on it.
‘Won’t be long,’ Evan adds, glancing nervously between Regulus and James before heading off with Barty.
James bites his lip, evidently getting more nervous by the second. He stands up and starts pacing as he talks much too fast. ‘I’m sorry, love,’ he says again. ‘For everything. I can—I’ll go to Dumbledore. I’ll tell him it was all me. No one will blame you, I’ll make sure of it. Don’t worry about anything—’
Regulus lets out a low groan and stands up, too. He still feels a bit off, his throat aching from the coughing. Or the drowning, he’s not sure. ‘No, you won’t,’ he says, grabbing hold of both of James’s shoulders. He has to reach up slightly, but still manages to make James stop talking, to make him almost cower despite standing taller than him.
James looks blankly back at him.
‘I have a plan,’ Regulus explains slowly. ‘But you need to trust me. Can you do that?’
‘Always,’ James promises.
‘You can’t tell anyone what happened here tonight,’ Regulus goes on. It’s important James understands, and at the moment he’s not sure he does. He tightens his grip on James’s shoulders.
James nods. ‘Course.’
‘Not even Sirius,’ Regulus says, raising an eyebrow.
James’s face falls, and for a minute Regulus thinks he’s going to say no. But he doesn’t. ‘Not even Sirius,’ James agrees quietly.
‘Good. Summon my owl for me?’
James does so, and Regulus summons some more parchment, then waves his wand to write on the page without his quill. He dictates aloud—it’s quicker than explaining to James what he’s doing, or to whom he’s writing.
My Lord,
Something has happened, and I find myself in urgent need of assistance. I’m at Hogwarts, by the Forest. Discretion is of the utmost importance.
If you are able to send help, I would be in your debt.
R.A.B.
James’s jaw drops as he realises what’s happening. ‘No, Reg—there has to be another way. Don’t just—’
‘There’s not,’ Regulus interrupts him. He quickly seals the letter with his signet ring, hands it over to the owl and then drops to the ground. ‘I suppose you have some questions,’ he says with a sigh.
‘Mm, you could say that.’ James casts a drying spell over the grass, and then sits behind Regulus, his thighs either side of Regulus’s.
Regulus can feel the tight muscles closing in either side of him, and he finds himself stiffening, but leaning back against his chest. ‘Go on, then,’ he says, resigning himself to James’s anger.
James wraps his arms around Regulus’s chest, tentative at first, but when Regulus relaxes against him, it gives him the confidence to hold onto the necklace. ‘You wore the necklace?’
Regulus bites his lip and nods. James is so warm. It’s not just the temperature of his body that soothes him, but the warmth in his voice. Even as they sit on the ground facing the dead body of their classmate, Regulus knows somehow it’s all going to be okay.