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How do you get your heart stolen by a human?
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“You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince
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Jongdae knew that he was in trouble.
Ever since the moment he had seen that kid with the gummy smile and the prettiest kitty eyes so many years ago, Jongdae had been fascinated by him.
It was rare enough that humans came up so far into the mountains, because it was always cold, no matter what time of the year it was. And truth be told, it was also very boring up here, with only forests and greenery and rocks. What was interesting about rocks anyway?
But every now and then a hiker found their way up to the mountain to where Jongdae lived.
He always watched them from afar because usually they weren’t alone, they came in a group of two or three, sometimes even more. But Jongdae never felt comfortable leaving his hiding place and approaching them. They were intimidating and very loud, and he knew from experience how humans tended to treat animals, especially carnivores whom they deemed to be dangerous.
Of course, he could have shifted into his human form, but what for? Shifting was reserved for special ones, for their mates, for those they trusted and for their close family. And those humans were neither of those things.
So Jongdae stayed by himself and lived from day to day. His only entertainments were the talks he had with Baekhyun, a feisty little squirrel spirit, and the days when that one cute kid made his way up the mountain, most times with his family because they had a small cottage up here in the middle of nowhere. The little house had been there for ages and was really rustic, with no electricity or running water, or any of the comforts modern humans loved so much. But the kid and his family didn’t seem to mind.
And that made Jongdae curious about them.
Of course, Jongdae had been watching them from afar like he did the other humans. He didn’t trust them. But there was something about the boy that intrigued Jongdae. He was so calm and quiet when he entered the forest. He always brought a camera with him, holding it between his little hands, searching for a perfect spot where he sat still, sometimes for hours, to get some shots of the animals that lived here.
And Jongdae was nosy by nature. His mother always reminded him to be careful, that humans didn’t treat shape-shifters well and that it was better for them to stay away. But how was Jongdae, a ten-year-old fox cub, supposed to stay away from that kid? As long as he didn’t shift into his human form, he would be fine, right?
The first time Jongdae approached the boy, he barely was able to contain his excitement: the gasp that fell from the boy's lips was audible through the quiet of the clearing he had chosen that day. Jongdae kept his distance, but he could see the boy vibrating with excitement. The boy didn’t move from his place, but held his camera tightly between his hands as he took pictures of Jongdae. When Jongdae left after some time, the boy made a small noise of disappointment in the back of his throat but didn’t try to follow.
Over the next few days, this became their little routine. The boy would sit in the clearing and Jongdae would come and let him take pictures. Jongdae spent more and more time with him every day, and at some point the boy started to murmur small things, calling Jongdae pretty and beautiful and telling him about his day. He learned that the boy’s name was Minseok and that he was thirteen and had a sister.
Minseok liked staying at the cabin because it was quiet and not as noisy as in the big city where he lived. Jongdae liked to listen to him, and sometimes he wished that he could answer Minseok, that he could turn into his human form and befriend Minseok for real. But that wasn’t possible. He would be way too scared of Jongdae. And so he stayed a fox all the time Minseok was there.
Over the years, Jongdae wasn’t able to contain his happiness whenever summer rolled around because he knew Minseok would return to the mountain and they could spend more time with each other. Jongdae even approached the cabin when he felt brave enough to wait for Minseok there so they could vanish into the woods and have fun there. Minseok brought the pictures he had taken the year before and showed them to Jongdae, even though he still thought Jongdae was just a curious little fox.
But with every passing year, the amount of time Minseok spent in the mountains and at the cabin grew shorter and shorter, until he stopped showing up when Jongdae was twenty. Jongdae did not mope about the fact that his summer friend didn’t show up, regardless of what Baekhyun said. Maybe Minseok had grown tired of spending time there; Jongdae could imagine that living in the city was way more interesting than this boring old forest he lived in. Jongdae hoped that he could visit it one day himself. But his mother said it was too dangerous, so he stayed where he knew he was safe.
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Jongdae thought he knew pain. He had been injured before: sprained an ankle when he tripped over a root, cut his paw open on some glass that humans had left behind, and got scratches and bruises when he had played around with Baekhyun and his friends.
But being trapped in a bear trap was something else. Jongdae hadn’t seen it when he walked his usual route, and the trap snapped shut the second his hindleg stepped on the little platform. The teeth of the trap were locked tightly in the flesh of Jongdae’s thigh, and every minuscule movement made him wince at the pain it inflicted. It was white and searing and made Jongdae wish he would fall unconscious right the fuck now. He should have been more careful, should have been watching his steps and not been distracted by that weird smell which was very familiar to him.
When another burst of pain shot up his spine, Jongdae considered shifting into his human form. Sure his whole body shape would change, it would hurt like hell, maybe even more than it already did, but he would have hands and thumbs to pry the trap open. But changing form could also mean that the trap would make the wound even worse, it could cut into an important vein or artery and he would bleed to death even faster.
Jongdae gritted his teeth, letting out a frustrated sound. He felt helpless, and he hated it.
His ears perked up when he heard a branch crack nearby. It was probably nothing, Jongdae knew that. But there was also a possibility that it was a threat. He wasn’t the most dangerous animal in those woods, not by far, and the predators wouldn’t be afraid to rip him apart. In his current state, he was easy prey, a laid-out feast for every wolf or bear out here. Jongdae tried to stay as calm as possible, but he was shivering from the blood loss already, making the leaves underneath his body rustle.
“Oh no.”
Jongdae took a shuddering breath. It was one thing to be found out by another forest animal, but a whole other thing to be found by a human. Jongdae tried to get away. He yelped in agony when the teeth of the trap dug even deeper into the meat of his thigh.
The ground shook when something dropped on the ground next to Jongdae. He hissed as his whole body was jostled by the impact.
“Oh, you poor thing,” the human murmured.
Warm fingers touched his fur tentatively as the human murmured to himself and made small shushing noises every time Jongdae winced. When the fingers wrapped around the metal of the trap and tried to pry it open, Jongdae couldn’t suppress his cry of agony.
“Hang in there, little guy. Just a little moment longer and I’ll get you out there.”
The fingers vanished for a second before they came back. The trap loosened with a squeak and a disgusting wet sound when the teeth let go of Jongdae’s thigh. He screamed aloud, because being freed was even more painful than being trapped by the metal in his leg. Jongdae was panting hard and trying to breathe through the pain. The fingers were back in his fur, and Jongdae tried to get away.
“No, no, that’s not a good idea.” Jongdae was scooped up and wrapped in something warm and good-smelling. “I’ll take good care of you, just hang in there buddy.”
Well, that was all Jongdae could do right now. He felt woozy, like he was floating. And the way he was held so carefully made him feel safe, despite everything that was actually happening.
“You’re a good little foxy,” the human murmured when he got up from the ground, lifting Jongdae with him. “I’ll take you home,” he whispered. “You’ll be as good as new in no time.”
‘That’s good,’ Jongdae thought before he drifted into blissful nothingness.
Warmth surrounded him as Jongdae resurfaced from a dreamless sleep. His ears twitched, and his nose was assaulted by all different kinds of smells, some familiar, some not. Slowly Jongdae blinked his eyes open, trying to take in his surroundings. This wasn’t his home, but Jongdae hadn’t enough energy left to be concerned about that fact. He was lying in a small room, on a soft cushion, a blanket carefully spread over him, and he didn’t feel any pain. ‘This must be heaven,’ Jongdae thought. No pain, no fear, only the blissful feeling of nothingness inside of him.
He turned his head a bit to the left when the door was pushed open and a young man entered the room. The human was holding a bowl with steaming water and some towels, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Jongdae watched him as he walked up to the small table beside the bed, muttering nonsensical things under his breath. Something about his face felt familiar to Jongdae but he couldn’t pinpoint what it was.
“Oh, you are awake,” the man said when he turned around to face Jongdae. He walked the two steps over to where Jongdae was lying and sat down on the floor with crossed legs. “You scared me out there, foxy. I don’t even want to imagine what would have happened if I hadn’t found you in time.” He carefully lifted the blanket, which made Jongdae hiss. His hindleg felt really tender. “I’m sorry little friend. I tried my best to stitch you up. You were lucky that nothing was broken. That would have been most unfortunate, because we have no x-ray up here and taking you back to the city would have taken way too long.” The man pulled the bowl closer and dipped one of the towels inside. “I have to clean the fur around your wounds. This might hurt a little, I’m sorry foxy.”
The human hadn’t lied when he said that it would hurt. Despite him being so so careful, it hurt like hell, and Jongdae gritted his teeth to not let out a sound. But sometimes he wasn’t able to keep a whine or a wince in, and the man murmured little ‘I’m sorry’s and ‘You are doing great’ while he cleaned all the dirt, grime, and blood out of Jongdae’s fur.
By the time he was finished, Jongdae felt spread thin and raw and on edge. He was ready to explode into the human’s face if he was touched one more time, but the man let the towel fall into the bowl, drying his hands.
“I’ll let you sleep now. I’ll bring food and water in a bit. You just rest and try to get healthy and strong again.”
He pulled the blanket back over Jongdae and grabbed his things before he left. Jongdae let out a tired sigh and closed his eyes. Maybe sleep would really help him heal faster. And there was nothing much else for him to do anyway.
Jongdae drifted in and out of sleep, not really knowing how much time had passed in between. As promised, the human left fresh water and food. He always placed it close so Jongdae didn’t have to move much and strain his wounds.
Whenever Jongdae was awake to see the human, he wondered how much time had passed, but one time Jongdae woke and felt better than he had in days. He cracked an eye open and saw the human sitting next to his pillow on the floor, some weird device pressed to his ear and speaking into it softly.
“No… he’s doing well. There’s no infection on the wounds, but he’s in no condition to be let out into the wild again.”
There was some weird noise coming from the thing in the human's hand, and another voice could be heard.
“I miss you, baby. You’ve been gone for over two weeks by now.”
“Yeah, I miss you too, mom. But I want to stay up here until he’s ready to survive on his own again.”
“You do what’s best, Minseokkie. You deserve some downtime from your stressful job at the clinic.”
Jongdae’s ears perked up at the name. Minseokkie… Minseokkie? Why did that ring a bell? He opened his eyes a little bit more and turned his head towards the human. Jongdae finally had time to take everything about him. He looked handsome. Short dark hair, a boxy smile, and prettily shaped eyes. The smile on his face pulled on Jongdae’s heartstrings, and he made a small noise in the back of his throat. It made the human - Minseokkie - look up, and he let out a cooing noise.
“I have to go, mom. He’s awake. Tell dad and Minkyung that I love and miss them. I’ll be home soon, I promise.”
“Stay safe, Minseok. And take good care of your little friend.”
Jongdae didn’t hear the next words because his mind came to a screeching halt.
Minseok … like his summer friend Minseok. Pretty kitty-eye boy had grown up and come back after all. The smile he gave Jongdae after he put the speaking thingy away was bright and showed off his teeth and gums. Jongdae was lost.
“Well, hello,” Minsoek greeted him. “How are you doing, foxy? You look better than you have the last three days. I was really worried about you.” Minseok reached out to pet him but pulled back his hand just before he touched Jongdae. “Most likely not the best idea to pet a wild animal, huh?” He chuckled to himself. “You remind me of a friend I had when I was still a kid. It was also a fox and we met every summer when I spent my school holidays up here with my parents. You are eerily similar to him. But you can’t be him, right? Foxes can only get so old in the wild. And he would be around thirty.”
Thirty?? He’d turn twenty-six in a few weeks, thank you very much. Jongdae let out an annoyed huff at Minseok’s statement. But oh how Jongdae wished that he could just turn and tell Minseok that it was him. That he was Minseok’s fox friend from when he was a child and that he was so happy to see him again. But Jongdae didn’t trust him yet. So all he could do was raise his head and push it against Minseok’s palm, who let out a startled gasp but started to pet him nonetheless. Jongdae wasn’t able to stop the purrs from coming, and he enjoyed Minseok’s steady hand gliding carefully over his fur.
They sat in silence for some time, and Jongdae basked in the feeling of being close to someone. Maybe one day he could trust Minseok enough to show him his human form, but today wasn’t the day.
Jongdae couldn’t believe that Minseok really was back. He still remembered the days they had spent together all those years ago. How Jongdae had been fascinated by Minseok since day one and how he had posed for young Minseok to take pictures of him. He wondered if Minseok still had them and if he had kept up with his hobby.
Would he want to take new pictures of Jongdae? How much had Minseok’s life changed? What did he do for a living now? But from the talk with his mother, Jongdae assumed that he became a doctor. He must be really smart too.
“I’ll go and make us some dinner, foxy. You stay here and take another nap.”
Jongdae couldn’t argue with that and settled back into his pillow.
Life by Minseok’s side was easy. He pampered Jongdae, tried to make him as comfortable as he could and was by his side as soon as he made a noise of distress. Jongdae basked in the attention, craving the human’s closeness, and Minseok was all too willing to cater to every little whim of the fox.
When Jongdae started to get up from the pillow after a few more days, Minseok always had a small furrow between his brows, eyeing the fox warily as if he’d collapse any second and need help. But Jongdae was just fine; the severe pain had calmed down to a dull ache and as long as Jongdae took things slow it was okay. He wasn’t able to jump yet, but that was probably normal as the wound needed time to heal. Minseok simply would lift him up and hold him close to his chest. Sometimes they would cuddle, and Jongdae loved to listen to his heartbeat. It was always steady beneath his ear and it was the most wonderful sound to fall asleep to.
Minseok also tended to talk to him. He told Jongdae everything about his life. That he had studied veterinary medicine because he had always loved to help animals and that it had been the biggest reason why he hadn’t come up to the mountain with his family all those years because he had been so busy with his studies and his internships in vet clinics or at small veterinarian practices. It was his dream to open one himself one day, but for now, he had to save some more money, and that’s why he was working in one of the bigger clinics in the city. He still was a hobby photographer, and his favourite subjects still were animals.
Minseok also had a mate for some time, as it seemed. At least he talked about love and being attached to someone. Their name had been Chanyeol. But they hadn’t worked out, their fields of interests were way too different, and Minseok had always been busy with his studies, so they had broken up. It made Jongdae queasy, because Minseok still smelled very sad when he talked about Chanyeol. Maybe he was still in love with his ex-mate.
Jongdae couldn’t really wrap his head around that fact. For foxes, separating from their chosen mate would be torture, as they chose a partner only once and for life. Just the image of leaving a mate behind broke Jondae’s heart, and he huddled closer to Minseok, who wrapped his arms around him tightly.
Their bubble burst on a rainy morning when Minseok got a call from someone at his clinic, telling Minseok that he needed to come back from his vacation as soon as possible, preferably by the next morning, because one of his co-workers had fallen ill and they had no one to replace them.
Minseok didn’t seem to be happy about it. He had a deep frown on his face again, and Jongdae had learned to dislike this expression very much. It always promised something uncomfortable. Mostly for him. And now was no different. Minseok ended the call with a sigh before he looked at Jongdae, who was lying next to him on the corner bench.
“I’m sorry, foxy. But our time together’s cut short. I have to go back to Seoul today.”
Minseok petted Jondae’s head before he got up and went to the bedroom to pack his stuff. Jongdae jumped down from the bench to follow him. He winced when he landed on the floor. His hindleg and thigh were still tender but so much better after Minseok’s relentless treatment. Jongdae followed the human into the bedroom, making small whining noises, rubbing his head against Minseok’s leg to get his attention.
“I know, I don’t like it either,” Minseok said to him. “But I have to go. Other animals need my help too, foxy. You are able now to survive out there on your own.”
‘But why,’ Jongdae wanted to scream. ‘I need you. You belong to me. I care for you.’ But all that came out was another sound of distress, Jongdae pushing his head harder against Minseok’s shin.
Minseok stopped packing and knelt down on the floor, pushing both his hands into Jongdae’s fur and smoothing them through it.
“I don’t want to go either,” he mumbled, and Jongdae took two steps forward, placing his paws on Minseok’s knees and pressing his head against Minseok’s chin. “I’ll miss you too, foxy. But I promise I’ll be back as soon as I can. You will wait for me, right?”
‘How could I not?’ Jongdae thought and pressed harder against Minseok. ‘You have been so kind to me. You are nothing like what my mother warned me about.’
Jongdae let out a little bark, which made Minseok hold him even tighter before he let go. Minseok let out a little chuckle.
“Who’d have thought that I’d get attached to you so easily?” Minseok looked sadder than ever. “I wish I could take you to Seoul with me, but you wouldn’t be happy there, foxy. At least here you can roam the forest, you can be free and play with your friends.”
But Jongdae wanted nothing of it. All he wanted was to stay with Minseok. But the human was right, Jongdae would never going to be happy in the city. And Jongdae believed Minseok when he said he’d come back.
He had to.
It was beginning to get dark when Minseok had everything he needed, and he carried Jongdae out of the cabin with him. It was the first time since the accident that Jongdae was outside. He took a deep breath, taking in the well-known fragrance of his forest. He could hear the birds in the trees, the small animals that ran around in the undergrowth, and the dabble of the creek nearby. Minseok bent down and sat Jongdae on the ground.
“It’s time to say goodbye, then,” Minseok spoke softly. “Be careful while I’m gone, foxy. I’ll be back so fast, you won’t even know that I’m gone.”
Minseok laughed at his own little joke but Jongdae couldn’t. He would know with every fibre of his being that Minseok was gone, and that feeling would only ease up when he knew that his human was back with him.
Minseok shouldered his backpack after he stood back up. After a last glance at Jongdae, he started to walk away, and Jongdae felt like his heart was ripped from his chest. But all he could do was sit there at the step of the cabin and watch his human go.
His pretty, handsome, kind-hearted Minseok.
Jongdae let out a loud cry of agony after Minseok had vanished into the trees.
The days that followed Minseok’s departure felt bleak and colourless. Jongdae missed him so much, and he didn’t know what to do with himself. He stayed close to the cabin, just in case Minseok would return.
Minseok had said he would be back before Jongdae could even miss him. But oh how Jongdae missed him. His whole existence yearned for Minseok to be back by his side, and Jongdae promised himself that he’d do right by Minseok when he returned. He would show Minseok his true self, regardless of the outcome. Minseok deserved the truth, and after all the time he had spent with him, Jongdae felt like he could trust him.
Jongdae couldn’t stay at the cabin forever, so he left for his own home. It didn’t stop him from coming back every day to see if Minseok had returned against all odds. And he wasn’t moping, despite what Baekhyun said. He just missed Minseok, that’s all.
It was a rainy and chill autumn day when Jongdae walked up to the cabin and saw the lights on. Despite the fluttering in his chest, Jongdae was careful when he approached the house. He jumped onto the bench outside so he could have a look inside.
At first, there was no one to be seen, Jongdae was able to see a backpack and a pair of boots and maybe… maybe his little heart started to beat a bit faster. He lifted a paw and placed it on the window, pressing his face against the glass to be able to see better. When Minseok exited the bedroom, Jongdae wasn’t able to hold back the excited yip that left his mouth. He jumped from the bench and raced towards the treeline.
Minseok was back. He truly had come back, and Jongdae wanted to keep his promise to himself. He had stolen a pair of boxer shorts from some hikers a few years ago and had them stashed close to the cabin.
Jongdae got the boxers out before he started to change into his human form. It was always uncomfortable to feel his bones and tendons shift and enlarge, the drag and pull of everything being rearranged to fit a bigger body. He shuddered when he was fully human and watched the last bits of his fur fall away. He picked up the boxers and put them on before he started to walk towards the cabin. He felt a bit wonky walking on two legs instead of four, so it took Jongdae a few moments to coordinate things. But he got the hang of it quickly, so Jongdae was able to walk towards the house with confident steps.
The touch of the rain on his skin was a nice feeling, and Jongdae took a moment to close his eyes and lift his head to feel the droplets hitting his face. He felt the chill in the air more than he did when he was in his fox form, but it wasn’t too bad yet. It always amazed Jongdae how different both of his forms were and how he loved both of them.
In human shape, he didn’t hear his surroundings as clearly as he did when he was a fox, his vision was also a far cry from what he was used to. But Jongdae could work with it when it meant that he’d be able to see Minseok and that he could finally talk to him.
Minseok.
Jongdae climbed the steps up to the porch and lifted his hand to knock on the door when it was opened and he came face to face with a startled Minseok. Minseok let out a small curse under his breath, taking Jongdae in.
“Minseok…” Jongdae spoke softly.
And wasn’t that a great feeling to speak the name of his human out loud? It rolled easily from Jongdae’s tongue and it made his stomach flutter.
“Y… yes?” Minseok’s eyes travelled over Jongdae and they grew bigger with every second. “Man, are you alright? Did something happen to you? Why aren’t you wearing any clothes in this kind of weather? Do you need help?”
It took Jongdae a moment to realise that he might not be dressed accordingly. He shifted, feeling a little self-conscious before he lifted his eyes to meet Minseok’s.
“I… I’m fine. I just… I wanted to talk to you and say thank you.”
Minseok’s brows furrowed in confusion, but when Jongdae shivered visibly he shook his head and took a step aside.
“Please come in. If you’d like to talk we can do that inside as well. Just sit down by the stove and I’ll be back with you in a minute, okay?”
Jongdae nodded before he stepped in. He sat down gingerly, hands pressed between his thighs and looking around the room. It hadn’t changed much since he had been here all those weeks ago, and this gave him a sense of home.
Minseok had vanished into the bedroom and came back with a towel in hand, which he held out to Jongdae, who took it and placed it around his shoulders, not really knowing what to do now that he was here. Minseok pulled out another chair and sat down at a safe distance from Jongdae.
“That’s a pretty nasty scar you’ve got there on your thigh,” Minseok commented when the silence between them became too heavy.
Jongdae looked down and smiled a bit. “It is,” he agreed. “But I had someone taking really good care of me when I had that accident.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” Minseok answered. “How come you know my name if you don’t mind me asking? I can’t remember that we ever met before.”
“Oh, but we did. You might not remember me in this body, but it was actually you who took care of me after I got caught in that bear trap,” Jongdae hastily explained.
Minseok blinked at Jongdae. “I… I helped you? But… that can’t be right. I mean, I am a doctor, but I’m a veterinarian and I don’t take care of humans. And I’m pretty sure I’d remember seeing a wound like this. The only one I treated that had a wound resembling yours was a fox and …” Minseok stopped talking and looked at Jongdae intently. “Who are you?”
Jongdae squirmed a bit in his seat. “My name’s Jongdae. I’ve been living here my whole life and we met before. Often, actually. But you wouldn’t know me like this. You know me as a small red fox. And you tend to call me foxy.” When Minseok didn’t say anything, Jongdae continued. “We met for the first time when you were just a boy. You came up here with your family and you had a camera… you loved taking pictures of animal wildlife and you’ve been so patient, at least as patient as a child could be. And … I was intrigued by you. We met in a small clearing on a very warm summer day, and you came back every day after that afternoon. But then you stopped coming with your family, and I tried to forget about you… and then… then I stepped into that nasty bear trap. I really thought I’d die that day.” Jongdae lifted his eyes and looked at Minseok, who was still looking at him suspiciously. “But you found me…”
“What I found was an injured red fox who was in dire need of help…” Minseok mumbled.
“Yeah,” Jongdae whispered.
Silence fell over them, Jongdae looking at his folded hands in his lap. He wasn't sure how he could make Minseok understand that the fox and he were the same.
Minseok shuffled in his seat before he got up and started walking up and down the length of the room. He looked like he was concentrating, casting occasional glances at Jongdae, who was still sitting by the stove. The warmth seeped through Jongdae’s tense muscles, making him feel warm and at home.
“So,” Minseok said when he stopped abruptly. “You are trying to tell me that you are the fox I saved?”
Jongdae bit his bottom lip, worrying it between his teeth, and nodded. Minseok looked at him for a moment longer before he took up his wandering again, muttering to himself. Even though his hearing wasn’t as good as when he was a fox, Jongdae was able to pick up some fragments like ‘I thought it’s just a legend’, ‘but that can’t be true’ and ‘most likely a serial killer’.
Jongdae inclined his head to one side, blinking at Minseok.
“What’s a serial killer?”
“Uhm… someone who kills more than two persons in a certain amount of time, I guess?”
Jongdae smiled. “I’m not a serial killer, then. I never killed a human. Only rabbits and mice, sometimes a bird, but they are hard to hunt. Too jittery, and they fly away at the first sign of a threat.”
Minseok gaped at him. “No serial killer, duly noted.”
Jongdae still smiled, and Minseok slowly sat down again. He was a bit pale around the nose, and it made Jongdae worry.
“Are you okay?”
“Sure,” Minseok answered, voice a bit too high. “Why shouldn’t I be? I have a half-naked man sitting in my cabin with the same wound I treated on a fox a few weeks ago and I think they are the same?” Minseok laughed awkwardly. “I think I’ve lost it.”
“I can help you search for whatever you’ve lost,” Jongdae said. “It can’t be far right? And if you’ve lost it on your way up the mountain I can go look for you. I’m quicker than you. I’d be back in two hours.”
Minseok looked at Jongdae as if he had grown a second head. “That’s what you picked up on?”
“Yeah?” Jongdae asked in confusion. “You were correct about the other things, so I concentrated on the problem at hand?”
Minseok buried his face in his hands and let out a low sigh. “If this is a prank, it’s not funny, okay?”
“It’s no prank,” Jongdae reassured him. “I don’t know what a legend is exactly, but my mom told me that there are stories about us. That people do know that shapeshifters exist, but they don’t believe in us anymore. Mom said that it’s better that way because humans can be very cruel and would hurt us if they’d know the truth. They’d put us in a zoo. Whatever that is.”
“So you are the fox!” Minseok blurted out loudly.
Jongdae nodded. “Yes. I’m foxy.”
“Prove it,” Minseok demanded. “How am I supposed to believe you when all I have is your word?”
Jongdae thought that this was a bit harsh. He hadn’t given Minseok any reason to doubt him, but maybe it would be easier for him to believe when Jongdae turned into his original form. It would hurt like hell, because shifting twice in such a short amount of time always took a toll on his body. Jongdae wasn’t sure if he’d be able to shift back into a human after that, but for Minseok he would try.
So, Jongdae got up from the chair and stretched a bit. He could feel Minseok’s eyes on him, and it made Jongdae feel a bit queasy. It was his first time ever to shift in front of a human. It was absolutely natural that he felt nervous.
“I’ve been told that the transformation isn’t nice to look at, so maybe you want to turn around and wait for a minute or two,” Jongdae suggested.
When Minseok didn’t turn around, Jongdae shrugged his shoulders and channelled his inner fox. It always took him a moment to catch the little spirit and start the transformation. Somehow it was always easier for him to get back into a fox. The process itself wasn’t pleasant, but it was easier because everything became smaller.
Jongdae heard Minseok’s audible gasp and the ‘holy shit’ that left his lips, but he needed to concentrate to make the shift complete. He didn’t want to end up with one human and one fox ear. That had happened before and it looked stupid. His mother still laughed about it with her friends from time to time.
Jongdae stretched himself when he was a fox again before he sat on his hind legs and looked up at Minseok. Who was actually very pale. Jongdae let out a little noise of confusion before he got up and walked over.
“What the fuck,” Minseok breathed, their eyes meeting.
Jongdae leaned his head to one side to say ‘See, I told you the truth.’
Minseok took a shuddering breath before he got up and started to walk away from Jongdae. He got up too and followed the human as he started to pace around the cabin again.
“I must be seeing things. That’s it,” Minseok mumbled to himself. “I’ve been so stressed with work and everything that my mind has started playing tricks on me. There are no shapeshifters in this world, Kim Minseok. You are the only person in this cabin and this is just some… mental illusion. You need a good night's sleep and tomorrow everything will be normal again. No foxes, no shapeshifters, just you and the wilderness around you. Yes, yes.”
Minseok stopped abruptly and looked down at Jongdae. “You are just a figment of my imagination and you’ll be gone by tomorrow morning, understood?”
Jongdae turned his head to one side, looking at Minseok in confusion. Why should he be gone tomorrow? He was real, he couldn’t vanish. Minseok was still muttering to himself as he went to the bedroom and closed the door behind himself.
Jongdae let out an annoyed huff. What was he supposed to do now? Turn back into a human and follow Minseok? But that was most likely not the best idea, right? Maybe he should just sleep out here. The oven was still warm and he could pull one of the pillows from the small couch to snuggle up on it.
‘Yes,’ Jongdae decided. ‘That’s what I’m gonna do.’
༻༻༻⋇⋆✦⋆⋇༺༺༺
When Minseok woke the next morning he felt well-rested. He hadn’t slept this well in the last weeks after his return from the cabin. He had been busy with work, and his thoughts tended to wander back to the little hurt fox. He had wondered if the little guy was okay, if his wound was healing, and if he was able to hunt and survive.
The wound had been grisly, and even after Minseok had cleaned it perfectly he still had been endlessly worried because he didn’t have any antibiotics with him. But his little furry friend had been up after a few days, and he hadn’t seemed to have any problems. Minseok had actually hoped that he would meet the fox again so he could have another look at the wounds.
What he had not expected was for a human to show up on his doorstep, to tell him that he was the fox Minseok had taken care of and that he had known him for years.
Years!
Of course, Minseok remembered the fox he had met as a kid. Which child wouldn’t? But he had thought that it had already died from old age. Wild animals usually didn’t get very old, and Minseok had thought it was just another fox he had saved. It had never occurred to him that it could have been the little guy from his childhood. Even now Minseok had trouble wrapping his head around the fact.
But then he was absolutely sure that yesterday evening had just been a figment of his imagination and his tired brain. Shapeshifters weren’t real. They were mystical creatures, legends, stories parents told their children when they sat by the bonfire at night.
The fox would be gone when he left this room.
He had to… otherwise Minseok wouldn’t know what to do.
Slowly Minseok rolled out of bed and put a hoodie on. He stretched, which made the bones in his body crack but left him a bit more relaxed than before. With a small sigh, he padded to the door and pulled it open.
The faint morning light was falling into the room. It was always a bit darker here in the middle of the forest, but Minseok didn’t mind. He enjoyed the silence after the buzz of the city and how he was able to get back to himself. Minseok loved his job at the vet clinic, but sometimes it was a lot. He had felt spread thin for a few months now, and the decision to take a step back had been hard, but also necessary. His parents had been really worried because he had spent nearly all his time there helping the poor animals. And after a talk with his boss, Minseok came to know that she shared the sentiment of his parents. They came to a mutual agreement that he should take some time off and do something for himself. So Minseok decided to come back to this place of his childhood.
He shuffled over to the small kitchenette to light the fire in the oven so he could make coffee. It was a stark contrast, leaving every comfort he knew behind, but also freeing.
Minseok had just lit the fire and poured water into the kettle when a loud bark made him whirl around.
"Holy fucking shit," he yelled, hand pressed over his heart.
There, on the floor, sat the new bane of his existence, looking all floofy and loveable. The fox hadn't been an imagination! He was real and he could turn into a human.
Minseok felt like fainting, so he walked over to the table and sat down in a chair. His eyes wandered back to the creature, which was watching him with curious eyes. Minseok realized that they had the same eye colour. The fox and… Jongdae.
"You are still here, huh?" The fox yipped in agreement. "Fuck…" Minseok slumped into the chair and stared at the ceiling. "What are we gonna do now, hm? You are a shapeshifter and… this is a lot to take in, you know." Another sound came from the fox. "Could you… could you give me some time to think, foxy? I think I really need to be alone at the moment."
Foxy - no Jongdae - got up from his place and pushed his head against Minseok's shin as if to say it was okay.
Minseok rose from the chair and walked to the door, opening it for the fox.
"You can come back tonight, okay? I just need to think. And if you don't want to come back that's alright too."
Jongdae barked again before he walked out the door and vanished into the tree line. Minseok looked after him until the whistling of the kettle pulled him back into the warmth of the cabin.
Truth be told, Minseok didn’t know what he wanted.
He had been thinking the whole day, trying to wrap his head around the fact that the creatures from fairytales really existed. And Jongdae had looked very normal. There was no additional tail or ears, or any sign that he was a shapeshifter. ‘Maybe the little happy trail’ his brain suggested, not helping with his train of thought at all.
Minseok went to the bedroom and pulled the small box out he kept there. He had kept every single picture he had taken of Jongdae. He sat down on the floor and lifted the lid, taking the slightly yellowed photographs out. They weren’t very good. He had been ten years old when he got the camera, but the fox had always seemed so happy to see him and to pose for him. And he was a true natural. Minseok remembered that he was always so excited to come back home in the evening to tell his parents and his sister about the adventures he had that day. How cute the little fox was and that he would be its friend forever.
Minseok smiled at the memory. His parents had been reluctant to let him go after the first time, but they hadn’t been able to stop him. There wasn’t much for small children to do anyway. And when he wanted to explore the world, who were they to stop him?
The day passed unspectacularly. Around noon Minseok made himself something to eat before he dwelled in his thoughts again. The thought of Jongdae being something otherworldly (if that was even the right term) didn’t seem so scary anymore now that he had time to think about it. It was actually pretty cool that he was able to shift, and Minseok truly wanted to get to know him.
So when evening rolled around, Minseok stood by the window that viewed the tree line Jongdae had vanished that morning, and Minseok hoped to see him come back. The sun set and it got dark outside, but there was no sign of the fox. Neither in his animal form nor human.
Maybe Minseok had hurt his feelings? But could he really be blamed for his reaction? It was only natural to need some time to himself, right? Should he go out and search? But that was stupid, Minseok knew that. If he went out now it was more likely that he’d get lost or hurt or both.
After some time he turned around and walked back to the kitchen table. It wouldn’t do him any good to stare out there and wait for Jongdae, just hoping that he might arrive.
Minseok was about to get comfortable when someone knocked on the door. He got up to open the door and was greeted by the sight of human Jongdae. Today he was dressed in a pair of sweats and a hoodie. They were far too big on his lean frame.
“Did you steal from some poor hikers?” Minseok joked when he stepped aside to let the other in.
“Hello to you too,” Jongdae said when he stepped inside and shivered slightly.
The nights were turning colder now that autumn started to turn into winter. It amazed Minseok that Jongdae wasn’t more bothered by it, but maybe that was one of the perks of being a shapeshifter. God, Minseok had so many questions he wanted to ask Jongdae.
“Hello, Jongdae,” Minseok answered with a smile. “I’m glad you came back.”
“You asked me to,” Jongdae reminded him.
He looked a bit lost, standing in the middle of the room, arms wrapped around his middle. Now that he was here, Minseok didn’t know what to do.
“Yeah… Uhm, would you like to sit down? I could make us some tea?”
Jongdae shook his head. “No… no, actually I’d like to say goodbye.”
Minseok raised his eyebrow, surprised. “Why?”
“This was a mistake.” Jongdae’s eyes were glued to the floor. “I shouldn’t have bothered you, but I really wanted to meet you and tell you how glad I am that you found me that day and that I appreciate it a lot that you helped me. But… we can’t be friends, right? I mean, you are human and I’m a shapeshifter and I’ll never leave this mountain and the forest, but you have to go back to your family and I… I just can’t do this, okay? We can’t be friends.”
Minseok started to walk over to Jongdae. He was careful not to spook the poor guy. But he honestly didn’t understand where this was coming from so suddenly. Sure, he hadn’t had the perfect reaction last night, but he had been surprised and overwhelmed, okay?
“Jongdae,” Minseok tried. “Why can’t we be friends?”
“Because you are human and I’m a shapeshifter. And because I’m a fox.”
Minseok tried to recall all the knowledge he had about foxes. He knew they were carnivorous, lived in families, had most likely many siblings and were monogamous, at least to a certain extent. But did those abilities also apply to shapeshifters? Jongdae was human too, so Minseok could only guess what was normal for him and what wasn’t.
“You have to help me here, Jongdae. Because I know all that and I’m a veterinarian, so I do know a few things about foxes. But I don’t see a problem with us becoming friends.”
Minseok tried to reach out because he was able to see that Jongdae was clearly distressed, but he stopped his hand a few centimetres away from Jongdae’s arm. He didn’t know if Jongdae wanted to be touched by him.
“I… the time you spent with me was so nice, Minseok” Jongdae explained. “And… and I’ve never been treated like this by a human. And…” Jongdae sniffed. “And if I were a wild fox you could say you tamed me. You became my human, Minseok. You made me trust you, and now every time you leave me my heart will break.”
Minseok felt like he had been doused in ice water as the realisation hit him. Jongdae had spent nearly a week with him and he had domesticated him? Was that even possible? Wasn't that too fast? Jongdae was his own person, half human, half fox… it didn’t make sense at all to Minseok.
“Jongdae,” Minseok whispered. “I didn’t know.”
“Neither did I. The realisation came when you left for your home and I had to stay behind. And when I came here yesterday I thought it could be like the last time. But then after I left I realised that this isn’t possible because you’ll leave in a few days and I’d be heartbroken all over again.” Jongdae looked up at Minseok, eyes shining with tears. “So I wanted to come back tonight to thank you for your help and say goodbye. I’m glad it was you who found me.” Jongdae rubbed at his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater. “I’m glad I could meet you again, Minseok. It was really nice. Please take care of yourself in the future, yeah?”
Jongdae sniffed one last time before he gave Minseok a wobbly smile and walked past him towards the door. Minseok was too dumbfounded to do anything for a second or two. But when Jongdae pushed the door handle down, he turned around and rushed over to him.
“I… I want to be your friend, Jongdae. Please.” Minseok pushed the door shut. “Can’t you give me a chance? I would love to get to know you better. After what you told me last night I searched for the pictures I took of you when I was a kid.”
Jongdae looked up at him with big eyes and Minseok dared to hope against hope that he could make Jongdae stay. That he would give him -them- a chance now that he had come to accept that something mystical as shapeshifters existed.
“You still have them?”
Minseok nodded. “Yeah, they are in my bedroom. Would you like to see them?”
The hesitation was visible on Jongdae’s face. The way he was torn between wanting to see the pictures and protecting himself from being hurt further by whatever they had.
But in the end, his curiosity got the best of Jongdae and he nodded. Minseok grabbed a bit of the fabric of the hoodie and led Jongdae into his bedroom. The daylight was nearly gone and Minseok turned on one of the LED lanterns he had, so they both could see the pictures.
“Sit down,” Minseok said when he sat down on the floor. “It’s more comfortable like this.”
Jongdae needed a moment longer before he followed Minseok’s example and sat down. Minseok picked up one of the pictures and gave it to his fox-friend. Jongdae held it carefully between his fingers and looked at it. A small smile played around his lips and Minseok thought that he liked that expression a lot better than the insecurity and sadness.
“I was so tiny,” Jongdae chuckled.
“You aren’t much bigger now,” Minseok teased and Jongdae frowned at him. “I think this was one of the first pictures I took of you. I wasn’t really good, it’s kinda blurry and everything. But I remember that you were so happy and so so nosy.”
Jongdae’s eyes wandered back to the picture in his hand and he smiled. “I really tried to stay away from you. My mother had told me so many horrendous stories about humans and what they would do to me, to us, if they found out. But you looked so sad. You had been sitting on that stone for hours, waiting for someone to come and I couldn’t take it any longer. You nearly vibrated off the stone with excitement when I walked up to you.”
“I felt very lucky that day,” Minseok remembered. “As you said, I had been waiting for hours and was about to give up, when you showed yourself to me. I finally had found a friend.”
“I’m glad you didn’t give up.”
Jongdae looked up at Minseok, eyes shining in the bright light of the lantern. Minseok took a deep breath and moved his hand on the floor until his pinky touched Jongdae’s.
“I’m glad, too.”