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The cranberry juice and soda swirled around in the glass, providing an easy distraction. The red, bubbly liquid sloshed gently from one side to the other, never really in danger of going over the edge. Sharon’s fingers were wrapped tightly around the thin stem of the wine-less glass, her eyes focused on the swirling liquid. Despite the distraction, Andy’s question still echoed in her head.
Why not?
“Sharon?” She looked up at him and calmly took a sip of the pseudo wine. Real wine would have been much better, but Andy had none in his apartment and the two glasses she had at dinner were more than enough. “Why not?”
“Andy…” His name rolled off her tongue so easily and she knew it wasn’t entirely because of the wine. “Lieutenant….”
“No, Sharon. You’re not allowed to do that.” His voice was as tense as his body and she cringed to think that she was hurting him. “Just answer the question.”
“I can’t, Andy, and I’m sorry.” She set the glass down on the side table and folded her hands in her lap, hoping he couldn’t see how they trembled.
“We’ve already decided it’s not against LAPD policies. We’re not breaking any of your precious rules. All we have to do is tell Taylor and we’re good. So what’s stopping you? Tell me, Sharon, because I deserve to know.” Andy set his own cup aside and leaned forward. He was only on the other end of the couch, but it felt so much farther than that. “Please, Sharon?”
Sharon closed her eyes briefly and the grip her hands held on each other tightened briefly. She didn’t want to have this conversation and she didn’t want to have it now—especially after their dinner had been so enjoyable. Logically, she knew it had to happen eventually. Andy wanted more out of their relation and she did owe him an explanation. She was silent for several moments as these thoughts processed through her mind, unable to even look in Andy’s direction. She stared at her lap, her gaze occasionally glancing to her glass on the table.
“You’ve met my ex,” she finally sighed, her eyes closing once more. She took a deep breath and raised her gaze to his, reluctantly letting go of her hands to push her glasses further up on her nose. “You met the man I was married to for nearly three decades, saw the mess he became.” She searched his kind face, desperate for any sign that he understood. That she didn’t need to explain her concerns.
“I don’t see what Jack has to do with this, with us. He’s gone and you’re divorced.” Andy shifted over on the couch so he was sitting next to her, but he kept his limbs under control so they didn’t touch. She shifted her leg after a moment and brushed their knees together, hoping to convey that she wasn’t mad at him. This was all her own doing.
“I haven’t had a relationship since him. Not when we were still legally married, even if we were separated. Granted, I didn’t find someone I was interested in either.” She paused and cleared her throat. “My point is, my experience with relationships is lacking and it’s not like my last one turned out fantastic. Two children, a mountain of debt, and a divorce. I just got my life figured out again, Andy. Rusty and I finally have things figured out and I-I don’t know if I can upset that.”
He reached his hand out and clasped it over hers, lightly tangling their fingers together and giving her hand a firm squeeze. She returned it after a moment, taking the contact as a good sign. He took a deep breath and then slipped his arm around her to pull her against his side, his lips pressing briefly to her temple. She rested her head against his shoulder.
“Hey, hey.” He licked his lips and looked down at her, his expression soft and full of the understanding she so desperately wanted to see. “I’m not trying to rush into anything. I’m not going anywhere, yeah? We can go slow, I can court you the old-fashioned way and we’ll see where things go.” He smiled and she let out a shaky breath, her hand finding his again.
“Is that what you want, Andy?”
“I want you, Sharon, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy.”
“Thank you.” She leaned forward just enough to press their lips together. It was completely chaste and held no promise for something further, but it was enough for them for now. She kissed him again after a moment, a small smile drawing at her lips. “What do you say we watch that movie now?”
Andy chuckled quietly and reached for the remote, pressing play after he got it facing the right way. He set it on the arm of the couch and carefully laid down, keeping Sharon close in his arms as she drew the blanket over them and Andy flicked the lamp off. She settled against him and focused on the TV, their hands loosely intertwined on her hip. Maybe there would be a day when they could bring their relationship to light, but until then, he would do everything in his power to make sure Sharon knew she was loved. He would woo and court the damn woman and their relationship would be as old-fashioned as they come.