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i say that i hate you with a smile on my face

Summary:

There's a tornado raging over his head and his father's bakery right in the crossfire, but all Murphy is worried about is what he's going to tell Raven about his date the night before.

Notes:

this is a very very fluffy fic for the Troped 4.0 challenge. i'm excited to be participating even though i had nowhere near enough time to do anything justice. i don't usually write fic like this so it was a fun challenge to try out, and murphy/raven is one of my fav rarepairs from the 100, so i had to give them this little oneshot. not sure if i totally captured the characters right, but oh well. fun to write anyway <3

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

For the first time in as long as he's known her, Murphy is not looking forward to seeing Raven Reyes. The bakery is ten minutes from closing, meaning she should be barging in any minute now. Murphy has already sent Jasper and Monty home, and he knows if he wanted to, he could close up early and be gone before she sees him. That's one of the many perks of owning the place. And yet, something stops him. He's telling himself that he's dreading seeing her, and yet, as soon as the bells tinkle over the door and her voice sounds out, yelling "Murphy!" he smiles, in spite of himself.

He might have a reason for dreading her today, but when it comes down to it, he's glad to see her. "Don't you know you're not supposed to enter a restaurant five minutes before closing? It's bad manners," he calls out from the back.

"We both know those rules never applied to me," she says, and he can hear the smile in her voice.

He comes out, wiping his floury hands on his jeans and getting the white powder everywhere. No matter how many times Raven tells him to just get an apron, he never changes his answer: There's no dress code if you own the place.

He stops when he sees her. "You're getting water all over my floor. Why are you all wet?"

Raven looks at him incredulously. "It's pouring out. You haven't noticed?"

His bakery is set with windows practically as big as the walls, and now that he's standing out here, well, yes, he's noticing. "I've been slaving away in the back," he says. "I'm surprised you still stopped by."

Raven laughs, wringing out her hair all over his floor even though Jasper had just mopped. "Well, I had to hear about your date."

Murphy looks at her, sighs, and then turns to go back to his oven.

"No." He can hear her following him, and any other customer would know it was forbidden at risk of death or at least severe maiming, but Raven pushes aside the little gate like it's nothing. "There's no way you didn't like her."

"I didn't say I didn't like her, I didn't say anything," he points out. But he might as well have said nothing at all.

"Murphy, Emori is great. She's way out of your league."

"Thanks," he says, passing her the plate of cookies he was setting up before she barged in, mostly to have something to do with his hands.

"She is going to be so pissed at me."

"Well, I told you not to set me up."

"It's not my fault you don't like anybody," Raven says, sitting at the stool and leaning her elbows on the counter. "I was just trying to help."

Murphy sighs, looking at her. There's only one lamp on in the room, and it casts a warm, dim glow over her face. How many nights have they spent here together? How did she worm her way into his bakery and into his kitchen and into his life? He feels like he's known Raven his whole life, but it's hard to remember that it's only been about a year and a half before he saw her for the first time. It was raining that night too, only the storm was nothing compared to Raven.

She didn't come into his life gently. She came in like a hurricane.

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

"We're closed," Murphy calls out, hearing the little bells above the door jingle. When they don't jingle again, he calls out louder, "I said we're closed. I don't care who you are. Get out before I throw you out."

Again, nothing. He groans, looking up from the cupcakes he's frosting. He's going to have to be here another few hours, preparing the displays for tomorrow. This is usually the best part of his day, considering it's the only part he gets to be alone. No Jasper and Monty to pester him with questions. No customers who complain without tipping. Just Murphy, with the kitchen all to himself. This is what reminds him why he decided to become a baker.

This, and the fact that he was never really all the good at anything else. So, no, he doesn't really feel like tearing himself away from his cupcakes to go shoo some drunk frat boy or lost family out the door. But before he can even start to head over, a blur of a girl, sopping wet, shoots past him and into the kitchen.

"Hey, you can't be back here!"

"It'll only be for a minute, I swear," she says, and the first thing Murphy can think is, wow, she's really pretty. The second thing he thinks is that if she touches one single thing in this kitchen, he'll kill her.

"We're closed," he says. "Didn't you see the sign?"

"Your sign says you're still open."

Fucking Jasper. He forgets every other night practically. Usually, it's not a problem. "I don't care what the sign says. I own the place, and if I say it's closed, it's closed."

The girl rolls her eyes at him, sidestepping him to head further into the back, into his kitchen, his sacred kitchen. "I just need to hide out for a few minutes, it's no big deal."

"Hide out? What are you, a bank robber?"

"No," she says, glaring at him, "but my ex-boyfriend -"

"You know what your love life is?" Murphy says, interrupting. He doesn't even realize he's pointing his spatula at her like it's a gun. "Not my fucking problem. Now get out."

Then, the girl looks at him. And her eyes are so huge and brown and he expects them to be pleading, but they look kinda pissed. "Look, if you let me stay for the next five minutes, you'll never see me again, I promise. But if you kick me out, I'll come back here every night just to make your life a living hell. So will you help me avoid my cheating scumbag of an ex-boyfriend, or are you really going to throw a pretty girl out into the rain?"

So he let her stay. Only she didn't stay five minutes. And she did come back every night. And hell if it isn't always the best part of Murphy's day.

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

Now, he's looking at her, making herself at home in his kitchen. Hell, he allows her in his kitchen more often than his employees. And she's really trying to ask him why the date didn't work out. For someone so smart, she could really be pretty dense. "Well, you know what my love life is like," he says.

"A disaster?" Raven offers up easily, with that kind of shit-eating grin she reserves only for him.

"Every girl I go out with is just…" Murphy trails off, not exactly sure how to finish that sentence. Not good enough? That's not it. Not right for him? That's not really it either.

"Have you ever considered that maybe the girls aren't the problem? I'm just saying, there's a common denominator here."

Just when he goes to bite back at that cute little retort, there's a clap of thunder so loud the room seems to shake and in a flash, the power goes out.

"Shit," Murphy says, rooting around in the dark for his phone, which he is sure is half covered in eggs and flour, like it is every night. But before he can find it, it goes with a shrill ringing, simultaneous with Raven's. She gets to hers first. Her face is half-lit, tinted blue in the darkness. He can see her eyes glowing as she reads.

"Tornado warning," she says. "They're telling us to take shelter." A bolt of lightning strikes down somewhere outside, and the flash casts a harsh, white light through the open door. "You got a basement?"

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

"I don't think I've ever been down here," Raven says, feeling her way through the dark.

"Yeah, that's because customers aren't allowed down here." Actually, none of his employees have ever been down here either. Murphy's phone flashlight scans over the boxes in the dark, looking for one in particular. It's just inventory down here, stuff for the bakery, but other things too. When his father died, Murphy didn't know where to put all of his stuff. He didn't want it in his apartment, he wasn't sure he could take seeing it every day. But he didn't want it thrown away either, and he wanted to know it was somewhere close, somewhere safe.

"Yeah, but I'm not like other customers, am I?"

Murphy turns to see her over his shoulder. "No," he says, and it comes out softer than he intended it to. "I guess you're not." Then, he turns back around. "You never pay for shit, for one thing."

"You'd never let me."

Finally, he finds what he was looking for, a box of candles buried under some old blankets. With the lighter in his pocket, he lights them, then sets them around the room. It's not great, but at least they can see each other properly now. And Raven, in the soft, warm light, looks… well, she always looks beautiful. No matter what light she's in.

"So, about this date…"

"Jesus, will you let it go?"

"You haven't told me anything yet! All you said was that it didn't go well. Did you not like her? Did she not like you? Did she have food on her teeth and you were too afraid to tell her?"

"It was nothing like that."

"Then what?"

"Look," Murphy says, voice firm. "I don't have to tell you every single detail of my life, do I?"

A long silence passes. "No, of course not," Raven says finally, a smile on her face, but Murphy can see he's hurt her. He doesn't want to hurt her, it's the last thing she wants to do, but he doesn't want to talk about the date either, so he's trapped. "I'll just ask Emori," she says.

"Raven," he says, voice apologetic, but she cuts him off.

"What is this stuff anyway?" She turns her back to him, rifling through some box. She's probably the only person he would let do that.

"It was my dad's, actually," Murphy says, trying to keep his voice casual and failing.

"You keep it down here?" Raven turns to him, her eyes soft and voice gentle.

"I didn't know what else to do with it."

"Whoa, did you know you had this?" Raven reaches into one of the bigger boxes, pulling out a boombox. Just one look at it brings Murphy back to Saturday mornings with his dad, who loved music more than anyone Murphy ever knew, sitting him down in front of him, putting in a tape and making Murphy listen – just stare straight ahead, and let the music wash over him. Murphy always pretended he hated it. Now, there's just about nothing more he would like more than just one more morning like that.

"There's no way the batteries are still good on that," Murphy says, but Raven is going through his father's many, many tapes.

"Let's find out," she says, popping one in. It takes a second for Murphy to recognize the song, but of course, only Raven would manage to pick one of his dad's favorites. Elvis Costello's low, sweet voice comes in, and all Murphy can think is that Raven must have no idea what she does to him.

I bet he took all he can take, the song sings out.

"Dance with me?" Raven says. She knows he never dances, just as she knows he'll dance with her because she asked him to.

"Only to shut you up," Murphy says, but he takes her hand anyway.

He pulls her against him and instantly feels warm. Her hair is brushing against his wrist, still slightly damp from the rain, and her hands meet behind his neck. She smells like cotton and something metallic, like she came from work, which she probably did. And he wants this moment never to end, until she says, "Did you Emori dance together?"

For a second he slows in his swaying motion. And then keeps going. It's easier to have this conversation without looking at her. "Why do you care so much? Why did you even set me up in the first place?"

He feels her shrug more than sees it. "I don't know. She's one of the best people I know, and you're… well, you're not the worst, at least. And I thought, I don't know, I guess I just thought you'd like her."

"I did like her," Murphy says quietly, and Raven freezes.

She pulls back, looking at him, but her arms are still around him and she's still swaying, ever-so-slightly. "You did?"

Murphy looks at her for a beat, then gently pulls her back in, rests her head upon his shoulder. "You really wanna know why I didn't want to tell you about the date, Raven? Because it went great. You were right. She was smart and funny and sexy and way out of my league. And if you didn't exist, I'd probably have fallen in love with her on the spot. I thought she was amazing. And I'll never call her again."

I know this world is killing you, the stereo sings out. My aim is true.

"Murphy…" Raven says, and he can't see her face, but he can imagine it, imagine the pity in her eyes and he wants none of it.

"Save it. I'm not telling you so you can do something about it or… I'm not asking for anything, okay? And maybe telling you while we're trapped in a basement under a tornado wasn't the best idea. But I'm only telling you because I know you won't stop asking and we both know I can't say no to you for very long. I mean… Shit, Raven. Why do you think I said yes to the stupid date in the first place?"

The sound of glass shattering above their heads breaks the spell, and Murphy and Raven pull apart.

"Shit. I wonder how fucked my bakery's gonna be after this," Murphy says, trying to joke, but Raven standing across the room with her back to him. "Raven?"

"It's just that you're my best friend," she says.

"Come on, we don't have to do this. It's no big deal, okay?"

"No, Murphy, it's not that I haven't thought about it. It's that…" She turns to him, and her eyes are filled with a mix of emotions he can't decipher. "That's how I felt about Finn. I thought he was my best friend too. I thought he was family. And then, he cheated on me with my best friend, so…"

Murphy blinks. He feels like the walls are closing in on him. He knows he should be listening to the rest of what Raven has to say, but all he can hear is It's not that I haven't thought about it, It's not that I haven't thought about it over and over in his head on a loop.

"I just didn't know if I could risk it again, getting hurt like that."

Though he's stunned by her revelation, Murphy collects himself enough to listen, to get what she's saying. And before anything else, he's her friend. So he says, "Raven, whatever you want to do is fi-"

"But screw it, right?" she says, and then she crosses the room and kisses him.

And it's better than he ever thought it would be, it's like fire and heat, like burning in the best way, it's desire and lust and love and want and longing and yearning all satisfied in one fell swoop. It's familiar and foreign at the same time, like something he dreamed about but never dared to try. His arms wrap around the small of her back and he pulls her in. She's so perfect, she's so smart, and for some reason, she's choosing him, and he doesn't care that it makes no sense, and he doesn't care that there's a tornado raging above their heads. If he dies tonight, then this is exactly how he wants to go out.

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

In the morning, when the rain has stopped and the sun's come up, they will make their way, bleary-eyed, up the stairs and out of the basement. Two of Murphy's windows will have broken and some tables will have overturned. The street will be a mess, and they will distantly realize that an oak tree just narrowly missed smashing into the bakery and killing them both.

To anyone else's eyes, it would look like a disaster. But for Murphy and Raven, all they see is the morning sun and the promise of a new day, a new world, a life just waiting to begin.

Notes:

hope you enjoyed :)