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love never bloomed this good

Summary:

Yoonji thinks that she's like the cigarette smoke being puffed out by all the girls she's slept with—it'll eventually flutter away. Sometimes, Yoonji doesn't wait for the smoke to disappear; she just turns on the fan and lets the stench be blown away just in time for her roommate and best friend, Park Jimin to arrive home. Yoonji thinks that if only Jimin had been a girl, she might just fall for him. The house wouldn't have to smell cigarettes anymore.

Notes:

I've tagged cigarettes because it's one important symbol/tool in this fic. Neither Yoonji nor Jimin are smokers. But yes, for style purposes. Gun will be mentioned too, since Yoonji's very famous for bringing a gun to school, alarming Park Jimin. But I've specified that it's a toy gun.
Notice the pronoun change with Jimin. If Jimin's in girl clothes 'she' is used, if Jimin's into obgyn/work mode and wearing men's clothes, 'he' is used.

I hope whoever the prompter is will enjoy this one. I've had fun and offer this to you 💜

Kath, this is dedicated to you too! You're such a sweetheart, really. This fic wouldn't be possible if it weren't for you!

I also would like to offer this to my sweet pumpkin Alba who made writing this more exciting and breathtaking. I've read all your wonderful works and let me offer you this as an appreciation of how I admire you so much. Once in a while, I'd ask myself, how would alba see this? will she like this part? will she notice the lines? will she love them? AAAAAH. But as I face the abyss, all I know is this fic's for you :]

Stay, a cover by girl in red is the song that helped this fic to grow. The lyrics will appear in the fic, too :]

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

— 

Yoonji watches silently as the smoke from the balcony swirls in long thin wisps inside her room. She’s no smoker but every time she pushes a random girl into the cab and pulls her inside her bedroom to satisfy her needs, she’d always stumble into someone who flicks the lighter on because she happens to be a smoker.

And every time this happens, Yoonji makes sure to ask them to smoke on the balcony of her bedroom. She doesn’t want the traces of smoke to float in the air, very careful to make sure that no evidence will be left. Not because her roommate hates smoking, but because Yoonji is very much concerned about how the smell of smoke irritates Jimin’s nose. And because Jimin tries to play it cool all the damn time.

She stopped buying scented candles when Yoonji noticed on their first time living together that Jimin would scrunch his nose every time Yoonji lights a candle no matter the scent. He didn’t really - specifically - tell Yoonji that he doesn’t mind the smell of the smoke of cigarettes, even trying his best to look normal by breathing through his mouth. But Yoonji wouldn’t have it.

As a polite roommate and best friend of ten years, Yoonji promises to not violate Jimin in any way possible especially since Jimin is the tolerant type. The yes man, the types Yoonji wouldn’t allow to self-destruct.

After all, Jimin’s the reason she managed to finish college with ease and if it weren’t for him, Yoonji would have to squeeze herself into a small studio apartment in the worst neighborhood of Seoul, doubting herself and hating the world twenty-four-seven.

“You said your roommate’s a doctor? Is she any good?”

Yoonji snaps her head in the direction of the girl - Sewon? - and nods. Sewon’s already dressed in her shirt and underwear, a flimsy lilac lace lingerie that Yoonji wouldn’t deny looked so pretty. She asked where Sewon got it, tucking the name of the store in her mind while Sewon ate her out half an hour ago.

He,” Yoonji corrects voice eerily cold.

Sewon takes a long drag of the cigarette and looks at her with a strange look in her eyes. Yoonji raises a brow at her, flicking at her long black locks. She’s got treatment last Summer, courtesy of Jeongguk. She wouldn’t usually let her hair grow past her shoulders but because of Jimin’s insistence and the hair treatment, and how wonderfully wavy her hair had looked - with a few praises from Jimin, of course - she decided to keep it long,

“He’s an OB-GYN, and he’s the very best,” she gets off the bed, holding the blanket in front of her body. Sewon lets out a playful whistle at the sight of Yoonji’s ass. Yoonji only snorts as she flicks the fan on and faces the blade toward the balcony.

“Hey,” Sewon complains with a laugh, the ash falling on her shirt.

“I’m airing the room out,” Yoonji tells her. “My roommate doesn’t like cigarette smoke.”

“And yet you have an ashtray here,” Sewon retorts with a laugh, pierced brow questioning Yoonji’s bored look.

Yoonji deliberately ignores her. She hates nosy girls.

She doesn’t have to explain to Sewon why she has an ashtray or answer the underlying tone and the unnecessary inquiry about her roommate. Yoonji gets territorial like that. She’s already thinking of how to kick her out. Sewon wasn’t that good anyway.

Besides, what’s wrong with being considerate of Jimin’s preferences? Yoonji cares for Jimin a lot, that’s it. It’s normal between best friends.

 

 

 

She steps out of the room, uncaring as the blanket reaches the floor and her back is fully exposed. She’s always been a wild spirit since high school. Jimin tried to make friends with her when they were 17 but Jimin got scared of her and Yoonji felt smug about it. She only brought a toy gun but Jimin went pale at the sight of the weapon.

They never spoke to each other even after graduation. Yoonji knew that Jimin was the grandchild of the high school principal and that his parents are capable to send him to Seoul for some medicine-related program.

Why she knew about it even before they became best friends, she’s not honestly sure.

But Jimin had always excelled in science and math back in Year 11 while Yoonji annoyed boys on her row by throwing crumpled paper scribbled with poems in whatever foreign language Yoonji felt like using that day.

Yoonji wasn’t really expecting to meet anyone from her hometown when she decided to pursue college in the city of Seoul but when she bumped into Jimin during her first semester on the campus grounds, Yoonji couldn’t help but feel less worried about life. Not that she needed any saving, but despite loving her linguistics program, she was quite a fireball in her department. She rarely had friends.

Besides, she had no idea that Jimin would study at the same university as hers. She thought Jimin would be sent to either of the top three schools in Seoul with how smart he is. Not that Sungkyunkwan University wasn’t a great university. Yoonji just didn’t expect it.

He was dressed in a loose sweater and tight jeans, thighs thicker than Yoonji’s but Yoonji didn’t find it herself to feel jealous or feel drawn. Yoonji had always known that she was a lesbian ever since young and that girls are the best no matter what.

And Jimin isn’t a girl. Even if Yoonji had admitted once or twice how she blinked a couple of times out of shock at how plum Jimin’s lips are or how smooth his skin is—Yoonji couldn’t still fall for him. Despite this notion, Yoonji was glad that she met someone familiar. Seoul was expensive and petrifying and if Yoonji was given a chance, she’d go back to Daegu.

But she’s a hard-headed and strong-willed woman.

She wouldn’t let anyone know that she was scared almost all the time crossing the street and taking the bus to go to classes on her own. She wouldn’t let anyone figure out that juggling part-time and reading textbooks in different languages would often make her cry in frustration. She wouldn’t easily and helplessly admit all those things.

She’s Min Yoonji, that bad-ass girl who played a prank in school by bringing a toy gun and threatening boys in the class to treat her to lunch or else she’d fired a couple of bullets to make them. If it weren’t for Jimin saving her ass, Yoonji wouldn’t even have secured her GED. But Yoonji didn’t think it was something she had to be thankful for, back then, at least.

Though when she saw Park Jimin that afternoon, she couldn't help but be thankful for his existence.

Jimin’s hair had always been black, always the polite and meek boy Yoonji had ever known. Yoonji had consciously tugged at her long blond hair when Jimin stared and studied her face before finally splitting into a wide smile, greeting her.

“Min Yoonji?” Jimin asked, surprised but delighted. “I had no idea you were studying here!”

Yoonji only huffed and crossed her arms in front of her chest, the strap of her bag filled with thick books digging at her skin. Jimin eyed the reddening skin with concern but Yoonji only moved her shoulder away, hiding it from him. He only smiled wider. Yoonji couldn’t help but smile back even though they weren’t really close, to begin with.

Jimin’s boyish smile would snatch anyone, but unfortunately for him, Yoonji’s more interested in the girl in the pink hoodie walking behind her old schoolmate. She hiked her bag on her shoulder and tugged at the loose jacket to shield her skin. Jimin asked about how she was doing and how her classes were so far.

“Linguistics,” Yoonji mumbled with a snort, eyes following the figure turning smaller and smaller with distance. Jimin blinked at her, head tilted to the side in confusion.

Yoonji sighed and poked at Jimin’s nearest shoulder. “I’m studying linguistics, Park Jimin. You better keep your opinions to yourself if you’re going to laugh at my career choice.”

“Always the hot-headed, sheesh,” Jimin countered with a pout, scrunching his nose at Yoonji who only rolled her eyes. Yoonji pretended to be annoyed but the way she felt relaxed and found herself smiling genuinely ever since she arrived in Seoul, she knew she couldn’t be mad at the doctor to be.

Jimin asked her to lunch and at the end of the day, they finally exchanged numbers. Unsurprisingly, in the end, they did become each other’s pillars of support and became best friends.

When Yoonji graduated, Jimin asked her to move into his apartment because he needed someone to keep the apartment alive while he had to stay in the hospital during his internship. It’d be a shame to waste the lease his grandparents had paid for him, Jimin explained.

Yoonji didn’t feel weird about it since they would mostly sleep over on each other’s couch when Yoonji was still in uni and staying in a tiny apartment a couple of bus rides away from the university. Yoonji grew close to Jimin’s parents, even though she had to stutter like a hopeless mess apologizing about her pranks back in high school to her old principal.

Jimin’s offer was something Yoonji couldn’t deny. Despite graduating with something she was truly passionate about, landing a job as a linguistics researcher wasn’t always easy. She was never called by the university to work with them. Yoonji wasn’t the nicest bean in the pod and when she tried applying to other universities and research centers, word of Yoonji’s rage without bounds spread like fire.

Her best friend called her rage paroxysm; Yoonji told him to shut the fuck up.

Yoonji worked as a hair and make-up stylist for the first 6 months, while dabbling into a club DJ for a year. Two years later, Yoonji still does those gigs once in a while, but now, she’s an amazing team player at The Korea Herald Language Institute and launched Hello Hangul to promote the Korean language and heritage around the world. Her boss, Kim Seokjin, and his husband, Kim Namjoon supported her ideals and it made Yoonji trust her instincts and rekindle her passion after waiting for so long.

Jimin had been delighted about how Yoonji made it on news, even saving all of her interviews and newspaper cutouts where Yoonji made a promising project to educate the world about Hanguel and broaden the linkages between universities locally and internationally. Yoonji told Jimin to stop wasting ink and paper printing the articles online but she would silently smile when Jimin would only shush her and kick her away as he slid the pieces of paper neatly inside a clear folder.

With a proud smile, the doctor would tell her, my best friend is the reason for this, and I quote sustainable development of Korean language education. You’re part of the history, Yoonji!

Yoonji had thrown a pillow at her best friend and marched down the hall to her bedroom, faux annoyed. But the wide grin on her lips as she stood behind the door was a clear testament that she liked being praised like that.

With Jimin’s position at the International healthcare center and her career, they managed to find a decent and bigger apartment in Myeongdong. It’s in the central district so it’s a busy and packed neighborhood but Yoonji and Jimin find comfort in the bustling side of Seoul where they could wander around in their free time and enjoy wandering around town.

It’s peculiar, their friends had mentioned once, how Yoonji and Jimin had fallen into codependent-best friends sharing a house. Hoseok, Jimin’s colleague in the hospital had asked Yoonji a lot of times if they were dating but Yoonji smacked him on the arm and told him that she was only best friends with the OB-GYN, nothing more. She pointed a scalpel at him and Hoseok knew that in the hands of a certain Min Yoonji, anything can be a weapon.

And sure, Jimin is a gorgeous man but Yoonji is in fact a devoted lesbian. She appreciates how Jimin cares for her and would attend to her needs but Yoonji can’t see a picture of them dating.

No matter how hard she tried.

Jimin doesn’t even show any hint of attraction towards Yoonji. So even if Yoonji would miraculously try and jump on him, it would be pointless. Definitely.

Hence, Yoonji’s mini escapades with any girl she bumps into in the club. She works as a DJ in a nearby club and would always bring someone home to satisfy her needs every Friday. Jimin is aware of her schedule, that’s why he makes sure to work the graveyard on Fridays; to give Yoonji the house for the rest of the evening.

She told Jimin that he was also allowed to do the same, but Jimin only smiled and politely dismissed the topic. Yoonji had long stopped insisting and teasing him about having a dry and dull sex life. Because at the moment, it seemed that Jimin is more focused on his career and being the best friend of Min Yoonji, the girl who used to scare him but is now nothing but a doting and caring roommate despite the harshness of her words and the sharpest of her glares.

 

 

 

Yoonji whips her head to the digital clock on the counter, one of the million clocks they have around the house to make sure no one, especially Jimin, is going to be late going to work when she hears the sound of the front door clicking open. There was a loud sigh that echoed from the entryway before the door closed.

Yoonji peeks from behind the wall and blinks at her best friend. The pin light from down the hall illuminated Jimin’s sad face. Out of instinct and concern, Yoonji marches to him and stands before her best friend. She’s worried but also silently thankful that Jimin is finally home so she can ask Sewon to leave.

“Hey,” Yoonji says gently, cupping Jimin’s face with her left hand. Her right arm is holding the blanket in front of her naked body to save Jimin’s sanity.

On times like this, Jimin would automatically scold her out of natural tendencies. But whatever happened in the hospital might be troubling her best friend so much that Jimin only leans into the touch, eyes falling shut.

“Long day, Jimin-ah?”

It’s only 11:30 in the evening, still early considering that it’s a Friday. Yoonji only played for one hour in the club and arrived home an hour and a half ago to feed her needs. She thought Sewon was great in bed, but Yoonji skipped cuddling and is in fact out in the living room instead of chatting with her guest. Then. Yeah.

She’s more attuned to Jimin anyway, more so that he looked like he had the worst Friday.

“I almost lost the twins,” Jimin replies, voice scratchy and tired. He’s toeing off his shoes while still in Yoonji’s space.

The mother of the twins was one of Jimin’s patients. She’s a 28-year-old baker from Busan who traveled all the way to Seoul to ensure that she’ll receive the best help in delivering her babies. Yoonji listened to all the car rides and dinners Jimin would share his appointments with her, how the mother is too thin and weak to carry out twins, and that he’s more worried for the mother’s life than the babies.

Yoonji knew that the babies aren’t due til next week but that morning when they were getting ready for work, Jimin received a call that the mother is being sent to the hospital because she slipped in the bathroom. There are a lot of things Yoonji didn’t understand as Jimin walked around the house getting his things but when Yoonji gave Jimin his packed lunch and extra snacks that morning, she made sure to pull Jimin in a tight hug and a soft kiss on his hair.

Jimin would always make sure to drive Yoonji to work, knowing how riding the bus would make Yoonji anxious. But that morning, Yoonji tried her best to be brave. Jimin called her around 2 in the afternoon, apologizing for calling late but also asking how was her morning commute.

“It’ll be alright,” Yoonji said with a squeeze on his arms. “You’re the best OB-GYN in the country, Jimin-ah.”

Jimin chuckled and booped her nose playfully. “You’re exaggerating, noona. I’m only trying my best just like everyone else. Nothing to brag about.”

Her best friend’s always so humble and modest. Yoonji makes sure to remind him that he’s allowed to brag about his achievements all the time. At least in front of Yoonji.

“But they’re safe now, aren’t they?” Yoonji consoles, thumbing at the soft skin under Jimin’s eye. “You’re here which means that they’re finally okay.”

Jimin nods and finally smiles. He places his bag on the table beside the front door and pulls away to scan his best friend’s current clothing situation.

“I’m sorry for coming home without notice. Do you have a guest?”

Yoonji furrows her brows and then parts her lips in realization. She didn’t like that Jimin had to apologize for her thirsty tendencies and instead slowly nodded. Snapping at the thought, she turns around to get back to her room.

Sewon did so well in bed, Yoonji had already forgotten about her existence.

Before she could march away from her best friend, she is stopped by the pull of the blanket. Jimin is no stranger to Yoonji’s lack of clothing and Yoonji doesn’t feel shy about it. He doesn’t look alarmed as he was before in their first year of sharing an apartment together when Jimin was still doing his internship.

“It’s cold, noona,” Jimin lightly scolds, pulling Yoonji back to his space and holding the ends of the blanket. Yoonji only grins, shameless as always, and lets Jimin meticulously tie the ends of the sheet around her neck, even doing extra work on her lower back. They’re still facing each other and Jimin only rolls his eyes when Yoonji lets go of the cloth, toothily smiling when the blanket didn’t fall much to everyone’s – Yoonji’s – anticipation.

Jimin had made sure to tie the blanket tightly, especially around her bust.

“I know you like exploring our apartment in your birthday suit every Friday but it’s almost autumn,” Jimin ties the last of the knots and looks at her seriously. “And you always get sick when it’s cold so please, for a doctor’s sake—”

“You’re not my doctor,” Yoonji huffs, swaying her weight from side to side, a wide grin on her face. Jimin only sighs and boops her nose again.

“Oh yeah? I remember hearing different whines whenever you have the flu and stomach ache,” Jimin counters with an equally wide grin. It’s now Yoonji’s turn to roll her eyes and boop Jimin’s nose.

“Fine,” Yoonji surrenders with a glare. She flicks her black locks, already a wild mess instead of the usual neat waves she’d style them, and pouts at her best friend. Jimin chuckles at the tantrum and slowly turns Yoonji around by the shoulders. He pulls a hair tie he’d always kept on his wrist so he could tie Yoonji’s hair without trouble.

Yoonji likes being pampered, and the only man she’s allowed to dote on her is Jimin. Likewise, if there’s any man she’d dote on and show affection to, it would only be Jimin.

Right now, she knows that Jimin needs cheering up.

As soon as her hair’s in a high bun, one of the few hairstyles Jimin had made sure to master for the sake of his best friend, Yoonji turns around to face him again. She places her hands on Jimin’s shoulders and gives them a light squeeze.

“Why don’t you shower while I kick my guest out,” Yoonji shakes her head when Jimin opens his mouth to deny Yoonji’s commands. Yoonji doesn’t take no for an answer. Ever. “And then we can go to that snack bar you love so much?”

“The one in Sopa-ro?” Jimin visibly brightens and Yoonji smirks at the look on the man’s face.

“Yes, big puppy,” Yoonji nods, feeling too highly of herself. Jimin nods, agreeing, and promises to get ready quickly.

Yoonji follows him down the hall but turns to the left where her room is. She isn’t surprised to see Sewon already dressed in her clothes, including her coat. Yoonji only waves out the door, uncaring and cruel it may seem, but it’s only a hook-up.

She scrunches her nose at the scent of cigarettes emitting from Sewon’s shirt. She’ll have to turn on the diffuser while Jimin and she are out tonight.

Sewon doesn’t look impressed, too, and shrugs as she noisily marches toward the front door, phone pressed against her ear, complaining about Yoonji’s lack of hospitality. Yoonji watches her with hawk eyes, not even alarmed when Sewon flicks a middle finger at her before stepping out of the apartment.

Yoonji only wanted a good fuck, something she didn’t even receive.

However, she understands the implication, she knows what they’re all saying. Sewon wasn’t the first girl who stepped out of the house with an annoyed look on their face for being thrown out like discarded clothes. But see, the thing is, Yoonji would drop everything for Jimin. Jimin probably heard them but that’s fine.

It’s also not Jimin’s first time to witness her hook-ups freak out like Yoonji promised the world half an hour ago only for her to take it back.

And she knows it, alright? She’s said it a million times, Jimin isn’t her type. Jimin is a guy. But Jimin is her best friend and Jimin is her home. And she’d always worry about him and prioritize him.

(And maybe, Yoonji is just trying to make out of something behind the lacy lingerie set she found at the bottom of the washing machine a month ago—a set that doesn’t definitely belong to Yoonji but something she’s certain Jimin wouldn’t usually own. She made sure to scout her bedroom before her previous hookups flee the scene.

No judgment, but Jimin’s her best friend of ten years and she’s never seen lingerie in his wardrobe. Ever. Yoonji borrowed Jimin’s boxers a couple of times when she ran out of clean clothes because she’s flagrant like that. But never a time Jimin asked to take a glimpse of Yoonji’s underwear, no matter how many times Yoonji would mischievously flash her bra at him.

He’s always been so prudent. Or something. Yoonji isn’t really sure. But she’s curious, extremely so, with the lingerie set. A set of black and lacey and inhumanely soft lingerie that she pretended not to see and ignored in the bottom of the machine because Jimin would surely claim it as soon as he got home.

And Jimin did.

It was supposed to fly away to the back of Yoonji’s memory. Until, a week ago, Yoonji saw Jimin wearing said lingerie.

To say Yoonji’s much more determined to find out why is the biggest understatement to ever exist.)

 

— 

 

The next Friday, Yoonji finds herself nursing a bottle of beer. She just finished her set and decided to enjoy some alone time, content to just watch the bodies dance under the strobe lights.

Taehyung appears from across the counter, sliding a shot glass filled with the most expensive brand of tequila the club has. Yoonji glances at the drink and then lifts her gaze back to the bartender.

“Who’s it from?”

Taehyung points at the girl with big curls, dressed in smart business attire, too smart and too formal to be inside a club. She nods at Yoonji and lifts her own glass of scotch. Yoonji looks down at the shot glass and snorts to herself.

Had she given the same glass of scotch, Yoonji would’ve taken the invitation. But she simply shakes her head and pushes the shot glass away.

She doesn’t usually reject drinks but she doesn’t feel like hooking up with someone else at the moment. She had a long week at the Herald, having to stay up late making calls and working on a new project about broadening language experience and all other technicalities. Every time Namjoon seeks a new project for her to work on, she gets extremely exhausted. And unluckily for the woman with curly hair, Yoonji just wants to take it easy tonight.

Jimin isn’t any different. With a baby being born every single day under his watch and the never-ending concern for the twins who had to stay in the PICU for more than a month, he’s been relying on Yoonji’s reminders and packed meals to survive the day.

Honestly, Yoonji just wants to blend into the wall and pretend she didn’t just catch two girls in the middle of the dancefloor eye fucking her, asking for a threesome. Yoonji isn’t weirded out. In fact, she’s had her fair share of threesomes but she’s not just feeling it tonight.

The lady only stares at her, slamming the already empty tumbler with a glare thrown in her direction and sliding a couple of wons for her drink, making sure to raise an unimpressed brow at the DJ. Yoonji ignores her and scrunches her nose when Taehyung takes the tequila and dumps it in the sink before him.

“You could’ve taken that,” Yoonji spins her stool to face the bartender properly.

“I don’t drink while I’m on duty, noona,” Taehyung says with a laugh. Even before Yoonji could comment, Taehyung walks to a customer on the other side of the bar, leaving her in solitude.

Letting time pass by, Yoonji bobs her head to the beat. Jeongguk’s doing really great tonight, knows how to hype everyone else in a flash. She takes another swig of her beer and pulls out her phone to check if Jimin or any of her colleagues had messaged her.

When Jimin dropped her at work this morning, Jimin informed her that he’ll be in Mapo for a conference. Yoonji only nodded and bid him goodbye. Jimin told her to go home early so she could rest after a long week knowing that they both got busy and could barely chat for more than a couple of minutes over dinner.

There’s no message. The last time they spoke to each other was during lunchtime when Yoonji asked if Jimin was going to work the graveyard shift at the hospital. Jimin had only left her on seen. She didn’t take it against him, knowing all too well that Jimin was both worried about the twins and his participation in the conference.

Jeongguk scratches the records and places a new scratch track to switch the songs on the mixer. The crowd goes wild at the upbeat melody, the lights turning purple and indigo as they stream in the air. The cool air from the AC, wafting on Yoonji’s warm body from playing a while ago and from the beer she’s just finished drinking.

She fixes her shirt, a cream sweater with cuffed sleeves. She’s wearing a leather jacket on top, a matching tight leather choker around her neck, and long dangling earrings. Added to the class look, she’s wearing very tight black jeans, her thin legs on perfect display. To complete the ensemble, she’s wearing her beloved black vans. Her hair’s all pushed back, and hairspray and gel courtesy of Jeongguk’s styling.

About to request another bottle of beer, Yoonji blinks at Taehyung’s form in front of her for the second time in less than five minutes. He places a tumbler of scotch on top of a table napkin and beams at her.

This time, he looks extra excited like he knows something that Yoonji’s supposed to know as well.

She looks down at the liquid gold and opens her mouth to ask the same question as before. Taehyung is quick though, he shakes his head and thumbs at the other end of the bar.

Yoonji’s face splits in two when she sees Jimin, in his crisp black button shirt and perfectly tailored dress pants. The two top buttons are left open and his hair is the same old boring black hair but he’s grinning widely at Yoonji, raising a glass of scotch in her direction. He looks so young smiling like that; looks gorgeous dressed like that. She sees Hoseok clapping at his back and Yoonji rolls her eyes when Jimin finishes his drink and sets the glass down.

He looks out of place, but Yoonji’s glad that her best friend’s here. He never had time to watch her play since Jimin’s busy with work. And with their schedules never aligning especially on Fridays, Jimin had never seen her scratch the mixers. The closest thing Yoonji could call playing DJ for Jimin is when she would make playlists for their road trips when they travel back to their hometown.

“I thought you’d be busy tonight, visiting the twins and waiting for another baby to pop out someone else’s vagina,” Yoonji says as Jimin leans down and engulfs her in a hug.

Jimin snakes a hand under her jacket and playfully pinches her waist, “you and your mouth, noona.”

Yoonji barks out a laugh when Jimin hides his face on her neck, his warm breath tickling her skin. Jimin tugs at the hem of her jacket and runs the pads of his fingers on the stitches.

“Is this my leather jacket?” Jimin pulls away and studies the lapels, the buttons, and the length.

Yoonji doesn’t reply but she takes the scotch and drinks it in one go. Jimin snorts and leans against the bar, his elbows supporting him.

“You rarely use this, figured it needed some attention,” Yoonji replies, waving at Taehyung to call for his attention. “Another scotch or would you like beer for this round?”

“This round?” Jimin moves closer to her stool, their legs touching.

“It’s still early, do we plan on going home right now?”

Jimin only smiles, his eyes crinkling at the sides. Undeterred by the boring haircut, Yoonji admires how beautiful Jimin looks. She likes it when Jimin wears his glasses, matching hers whenever they’re cooped up in the living room, working on research, and reading article after article because both of their professions require a lot of information getting. Yoonji never enjoyed studying but having Jimin around helped her to appreciate it one way or the other.

Luckily for Yoonji, he was wearing glasses right now and Yoonji couldn’t help but fix his glasses properly before pushing his hair back to make him look even more handsome.

Jimin’s hand bravely tucks her loose hair and squeezes her shoulder. “You look pretty tonight, Yoonji.”

“I’m always pretty, Jimin-ah,” Yoonji replies proudly. “And I don’t think you should leave me hanging, Jimin. Scotch or beer?”

“Have you eaten dinner?” Jimin asks instead. Yoonji falls silent for a moment, trying to recall what she had eaten for dinner. Yoonji remembers nothing and shakes her head. The light tinkling of Jimin’s laughter made Yoonji lean in to bite at Jimin’s shoulder.

She quickly pulls away when she feels another material underneath the shirt. Jimin is still busy laughing and scolding her, his arm curled around her waist when someone stood behind Jimin and perched himself on the bar, calling for a bartender.

“Why don’t we share one beer and then let’s get out of here?” Jimin suggests, leaning down to whisper directly to her ear. Jeongguk turned the volume high from the stage, the bass sending vibrations to the walls and the floor.

But her thoughts are ringing louder than the crowd’s noise and the music.

Yoonji’s arms immediately latch on his frame, hands on his shoulder, thumbs toying with the cloth. Jimin ignores her ministrations and shouts at Taehyung with their order. Yoonji presses her palms on the broad frame and then—she feels them. She’s certain that there’s something underneath.

A bra strap. She’s a hundred percent sure.

And when Jimin turns to face her, a knowing smirk on his lips and eyes dark, Yoonji feels her cheeks flustering. It’s a good thing that the lights in the bar are dimmer compared to the lights around the club. Jimin would probably tease her for whatever this is.

He takes a swig of the beer, eyes scanning her. Yoonji zones at the column of his throat, eyes at the tiny protrude of cartilage under his skin. Jimin is always on the lack side of a man’s stereotypical build. He’s smaller, shoulders less broad, waist awfully and sinfully tiny, voice too airy and too high.

Yet seeing the lingerie set weeks ago and feeling a bra strap only makes her wonder. When she blinks at Jimin who is now offering her the bottle of beer, Yoonji is hyperaware of how unconventional Jimin’s build is. At least under the rule book everyone in the society is familiar with, Jimin's less of a man.

Yoonji, however, adores this Jimin despite all the naysayers who bully her best friend.

The crowd cheers in the background, cutting Yoonji from her thoughts. She ignores the smirk on Jimin’s face and pretends that she doesn’t know whatever it is that he thinks what she wants to say. She reaches for the beer and drinks a great amount of the bitter liquid. She could chug it down in one go, but Jimin’s hand stops her and scrunches his nose, amused.

“We’re sharing,” Jimin reminds her, leaning closer and kissing her hair. “You’ve had your share so everything’s left is all mine. Greedy noona.”

It’s supposed to be some sort of tirade, but Yoonji finds herself smiling against his throat. Jimin knows how to get mad, that's for sure. One could call it being too spoiled, but Yoonji knows that Jimin will never get really mad at her.

“Not fair,” Yoonji huffs, kneeing at Jimin’s thigh. “I’ll ask for another one then. A bottle of beer that’s going to be for my lips only.”

“Noona, you’re such a shit,” Jimin groans, cackling airily. He playfully taps the condensation on the bottom of the bottle on Yoonji’s cheek and yelps when Yoonji slaps his arm in response.

 

 

 

They will ask for two more bottles of beer and will leave the club in search of a decent meal. They will only have a few drinks but drinking while starving will make Yoonji get tipsy so hastily. As soon as they finish warm bowls of kimchi stew and a few slabs of grilled pork, Yoonji will pass out in the passenger seat even before she could hear the sound of the seatbelts buckling.

When they get home, Yoonji will grumble at every sound of Jimin’s giggling as he guides her into her room. Yoonji will only mewl, moaning and spitting incoherent rambles with Jimin peeling off her clothes, leaving her into her underwear before pulling a massive hoodie from the drawers and helping her to put it on.

She will be sleepy and just be glad that Jimin is there to help her maneuver under the sheets.

When Jimin presses a kiss on her forehead, tactility and intimacy are a normal flowing part of their friendship, Yoonji will reach out a hand to cup Jimin’s face in thanks.

Only—

It will land on Jimin’s perky ass and Yoonji’s hand is going to obnoxiously freeze in the air.

Lace.

Jimin is definitely wearing lace and even before Yoonji could throw questions at her best friend, Jimin is already tucking her arm back and pulling the covers up to her chin.

Before she can lose consciousness, Yoonji reminds herself to ask about Jimin’s choices of underwear first thing in the morning.

She’s not going to shame him, she just wants to know where he’s getting them because Yoonji’s weak for lace and she couldn’t stop imagining Jimin on them. And she honestly wants to know what’s happening. They’re best friends, she’s allowed to know, right?

It’s a good thing she’s already exhausted and drunk to perpetually chant the reminder in her head.

 

— 

 

Luckily and unluckily, Yoonji doesn’t need the reminder.

When she steps out of her room and reaches the kitchen of the morning the next day, Yoonji welcomes the sight of Park Jimin, her best friend, clad in a pastel pink shirt with very thin shoulder straps and black tiny shorts.

Yoonji’s eyes and mouth are both watering at the sight of Jimin’s perky ass and very toned thighs. It’s the clothes, she insists, that make her want to glue her gaze at the wonderful frame. She was never this drawn at his thighs but holy fuck, the tiny shorts are making those toned thighs look delectable.

She blinks a couple of times, thinking that the person making egg rolls and grilling sausages on the stove is only a Jimin look-alike. An impostor. Jimin had never dressed like this before. But as the blurriness starts to sharpen, Yoonji is convinced that it is her best friend. Nobody dances in the kitchen like Jimin does when he’s preparing breakfast during the weekend.

Suddenly feeling her presence, Jimin turns around and grins at Yoonji.

“Noona,” Jimin says softly. The pastel pink looks sinful on his skin, and the shirt is fitted and a bit tiny for his frame. It’s a crop top too, giving Yoonji a perfect sliver of the skin of his stomach. Peeking from the band of his shorts is lace. But instead of black, they’re pink and Yoonji wants to rip his shorts just to be sure.

But also, she just wants to know what the fuck is happening. Jimin has never dressed this way before. He’s never left his room without clothes on, much less girl clothes. Not that she minds it or feels weird about it, she just wants to know because holy fuck, Jimin looks so pretty in those tiny clothes.

Didn’t just last time Jimin scolded Yoonji for exposing too much skin?

“J-Jimin,” Yoonji blurts like a newborn kitten, unable to formulate proper mewls and sensible thoughts.

Jimin must’ve realized her panic. Luckily for Yoonji, he decides to be gentle to her, “let’s eat first then walk from there?”

“W-walk? L-like walk? Out?”

Jimin only giggles and turns off the stove. “If you want to take a walk while we talk then I have no problem with that.”

“But I wanted to stay in, preferably in my bed,” Yoonji mumbles, looking down at her feet. She’s not wearing any pants and always likes to wear less clothing whenever at home. Between the two of them, Jimin is the one who’s dressed from head to toe, for all those ten years knowing each other.

Right now, though, Jimin looks more underdressed at the amount of exposed skin. It’s in the middle of autumn; it’s cold.

Not that Yoonji’s complaining but still, she wants to know what is happening because holy shit, he’s so pretty.

“Thank you, noona,” Jimin giggles, placing the sausages in the shape of octopuses and egg rolls on the table.

Yoonji rubs her knees together, embarrassed and surprised that she spoke the comment out loud.

Distracting herself, Yoonji beelines to the coffee maker and prepares herself a cup. She takes a careful sip, waking her brain and senses and filtering system because fucking hell, her best friend decided to lay the answers to questions she’s been keeping to herself.

At the dining table, Jimin acts normally like always on the weekends. He makes Yoonji a plate, slides Yoonji’s favorite side dishes closer to her, and makes sure that the last piece of egg roll and sausage lands on his noona’s plate. Yoonji smiles at him, albeit small, and makes sure to finish her meal and coffee.

Usually, after working the graveyard, Jimin would immediately head start with breakfast while Yoonji tries to catch up on sleep.

Jimin had only met one of the many girls when Jimin was already cooking soybean paste stew years ago. He didn’t say anything about it but Yoonji felt mortified. If the person she slept with was great, Yoonji will let them stay until 4 in the morning, a couple of hours before Jimin arrives home. But if it was something like what happened with Sewon, Yoonji makes sure to offer the front door even before the clock strikes 12.

If ever Cinderella decides to visit and play with Yoonji, she’ll definitely make it home before midnight. Neither a pair of her glass shoes would be missing.

That’s how precise and absolute Yoonji’s choices are.

But lately, hook-ups are getting pitiful. Last night was the first Friday in months that she felt content tucking in bed earlier than usual. Not only did it save her from trying to force ejaculation and pretending to have a great time being eaten out, but she got to spend her Friday with Jimin. Something that’s very rare.

Two Fridays together were indeed rare.

Just like feeling the lace and the bra strap under Jimin’s clothing. And the cute girl clothes he’s wearing in front of him.

Rare.

Pretty.

Definitely.

Before they decide to discuss whatever it is, Yoonji washes the dishes and Jimin vacuums the entire house while soft music plays in the background. Jimin changes his bed covers and cleans his room with Yoonji does the same with hers. He starts wiping the bags of dust on every counter since they couldn’t do it on weekdays. Yoonji opts to do the remaining chores, collecting all their laundry and shucking everything in the washing machine including replacing the covers and sheets.

They work silently for the next hours—Yoonji still in her hoodie and Jimin still in his tiny clothes. At around lunchtime, after putting on new sheets on their beds, Jimin offers Yoonji to take a shower first as he punches their orders for takeout.

Yoonji took a quick shower, moving on autopilot as she slathers shampoo on her hair and body scrub on her skin. She massages her thighs and arms until they’re pink from too much scrubbing and the hot water. When she hears the doorbell, Yoonji turns off the tap and hurriedly crosses the hallway and the living room to get to her bedroom.

Usually, Yoonji wouldn’t mind the childishness of exposing skin. But hearing Jimin’s giggles and light scolding, Yoonji couldn’t help but fluster. Her already dusted pink skin went deep shades of red, and tiny feet padded immediately to her bedroom. It’s her first time feeling this conscious about Jimin’s looks and she blames it on how good Jimin looks in those tiny clothes.

By the time Yoonji’s back to the dining table, she finds herself freezing again.

Jimin’s wearing a skirt this time, a skater mint green skirt, and a loose crop top with short sleeves. She can still see the sliver of the skin of his toned stomach and the sinful collarbones. Something that Yoonji didn’t mind catching a glimpse of before, but right now is making her eyes hurt.

Although, they hurt in a good way.

Yoonji is the one wearing tiny shorts this time, her pale thin legs exposed for Jimin to see. Since it’s a weekend and she’s only going to stay at home, Yoonji isn’t wearing a bra underneath her loose tattered grey shirt. It’s ripped to some parts, a massive hole on the back, the size of a tangerine, and three tiny holes in the middle of her chest. Only big enough to show the pale skin.

Yoonji wants to run back to her room and change into better and more decent clothes but she couldn’t push herself to actually do it. She can’t help but burn Jimin’s petite figure at the back of her eyelids. Worried that this might disappear as soon as she woke from her dream. She pinches her forearm to see if it doesn’t hurt.

It does, and she’s glad that Jimin wearing pretty clothes is not a dream at all.

They ate lunch just like always, in silence and still comfortable despite the stolen glances Yoonji threw in Jimin’s direction. Jimin shares how the conference went; he always gets giddy about learning new stuff about childbirth and pregnancy and everything related to medicine, and Yoonji gets scared sometimes.

The smile she flashes on him was nothing but adoration, however, and Jimin beams happily as he inhales the last bit of his pork cutlets and kimchi. Yoonji snaps the food tray close and slides it into the trash bag, doing the same with Jimin’s.

He breaks their used wooden chopsticks, Yoonji rolling her eyes at the exaggerated presentation of strength, and clears the remaining of their trash. He reaches for the bag and offers a glass of water to Yoonji. After taking a sip, she lets out a yawn, and Jimin boops her nose.

“Do you want to nap first before we talk?”

Yoonji flicks her already dry hair past her shoulders and pouts at him, displeased.

“I want to talk first then we could nap after?”

“Are you telling me or are you asking me?” Jimin giggles as he saves himself from the approaching jab of his best friend. “Always so brutal, Yoonji-yah,” he sing-songs, pulling the cabinet door open and placing the trash inside the hidden bin.

So, here they are, in Jimin’s bedroom since he’s attached thicker and darker curtains in his room to block the sunlight. Yoonji’s room is plain and bright, with splatters of pink and pastel and white everywhere. She has two rows of curtains, a white thick cloth in the balcony door, and sheer pastel pink curtains on her windows.

They’re both useless during midday nap times on the weekend. So Yoonji goes to Jimin’s bedroom, something that he doesn’t deny her. He doesn’t also ask why Yoonji wouldn’t share her bed with him, save from those times Yoonji would insist on putting light makeup on Jimin’s face whenever he’s invited to a dinner party or has to attend important people.

It’s not Yoonji’s first time stepping inside his room, but it’s the first time that she sees another drawer in the corner of the room. It matches the rest of the pieces of furniture, but it still looks brand new. She doesn’t voice out her curiosity and instead jumps in bed while Jimin fixes the temperature in the room.

It’s the middle of September, and the breeze is already cold but nap times are best when the room is dark and the air is extra colder while hiding under thick layers of covers. The room is still well-lit, enough for Yoonji to see Jimin’s face thanks to the glaring sunlight from outside.

As a routine, she jumps on the left side of the bed and moans at the feel of the crisp new sheets under her skin. She hears Jimin snort from the other side of the bed and she scoffs when he only stands there looking at Yoonji with wide eyes.

“You shouldn’t disrespect your elders, Jimin-ah,” Yoonji tells him, lying on her side and wiggling in bed to get comfortable. Jimin slowly climbs the bed and sits against the headboard.

It’s not rare that they would chat like teenagers before taking a nap on weekends. But this is a new experience, or whatever will happen will be a new experience because Jimin would automatically lay with her when they’re in bed and, Jimin would always be dressed in his sweats and big shirts when they did.

Eyes roaming from the exposed legs to the hem of his skirt, Yoonji is tempted to touch. Instead, she looks up and sees Jimin already studying her.

The room feels extra colder than she could handle, bumps rising slowly on her skin as Jimin continues to gaze at her deeply. Yoonji swallows thickly when instead of talking, which is something Jimin is good at, he only pulls his shirt off to reveal what’s hidden underneath.

Springing up to sit beside him, Jimin giggles at the alarmed look on Yoonji’s face.

The scars are old. Maybe a couple of years old, almost blending in color but still prominent based on how they’re protruded. Yoonji could only imagine how thick and raised the scars were in the first years of healing. Jimin places his shirt on the bedside table and moves to finally lie down on his side. Yoonji’s eyes darted at the black ink against his rib.

This time, she couldn’t hold herself and carefully reaches out to trace the words Nevermind on his skin. Every graze sparks life on Jimin’s skin, making her best friend gasp quietly and shiver at contact.

“I didn’t know you have a terrible pain kink,” Yoonji says, joking. Trying to, at least.

Jimin’s light bursts of giggles are a manifestation that the teasing worked. She mirrors Jimin’s action and moves closer, their knees bumping as she glances at Jimin, asking permission. Jimin only nods and breathes calmly as he moves his right arm a bit to the back, so he can expose his chest to Yoonji.

“When was this? Why didn’t I know this?” Yoonji asks softly, curious. She’s not mad, only intrigued.

Fingers playing at the hem of his skirt, Jimin giggles when Yoonji thumbs at the scar under his right peck.

“It was sometime during college, remember 3rd year?”

Yoonji remembers Jimin asking for a year off during that time. Jimin said he wanted to take a break after dealing with more difficult courses in his program. Yoonji didn’t question him and in fact, she didn’t feel that Jimin wasn’t even there for the number of times they would still message and call each other.

“I didn’t notice, I mean—ever since high school?”

Jimin nods and smoothens his skirt. “I had always known and even convinced my grandparents to let me wear a boy’s uniform because I wanted to. They weren’t against it and even encouraged me to do things that will affirm my sexuality and gender. I invested in great binders, with my parents making sure they’re of the best quality.”

“You’re so brave,” Yoonji says, not even letting Jimin go as he proceeds with his story. She felt that she had to say it right now, moving closer to cup Jimin’s face. “You’re so brave, Jimin-ah.”

Jimin laughs again and lifts his hand to run his fingers through his hair. “Not all the time, but thank you.”

“So what after? What else did you do? If you don’t mind me asking?” Yoonji squishes the apple of his cheeks. “Not that I am curious, and not that I deserve to know since I have been your best friend for more than a decade.

“I mean, I believe this is the longest relationship you have had so far.”

“You’re so insufferable,” Jimin whines, pulling Yoonji by the shoulder as he lies on his back and propping Yoonji on his chest. Yoonji chuckles at her annoyance and wiggles in bed to reach for the covers. Quickly maneuvering their limbs and the sheets, Yoonji pulls the covers on top of the bodies as Jimin pulls her closer to his side.

It’s not the first time that they dismiss the existence of space between them while sharing a bed. But it’s the first time that either one of them is half naked while they’re glued to each other like this. Intimacy and tactility were never fueled with lust and attraction anyway.

“I only had my top removed,” Jimin confesses, “and hormone therapy but aside from those, no other gender-affirming processes. I mean, for now, I think?”

“And you’re doing okay with that?”

“I’ve grown past the downside, it helped that I had my internship away from you.”

Yoonji inhales sharply and pinches Jimin’s waist. “So annoying, I swear.”

“Noona,” Jimin whines, sinking his nose into Yoonji’s hair. Yoonji remains still under the sheets, palm flat against Jimin’s chest. She can feel the hem of the soft skater skirt brushing at her knees and the information from before sends a thrill deep into her soul.

Not the dirty kind!

The honest and sincere, heartwarming kind. She’s glad that Jimin finally had the guts and confidence to tell it to her. She’s not anchoring on the fact that it’s been a decade late. Instead, she’s just glad and proud that Jimin decided to share this part of Jimin with his best friend.

“Can I try something?” Jimin asks, fingers squeezing the back of Yoonji’s neck. Under the soft almost non-existent sunlight, Yoonji’s pale skin glows with life against Jimin’s honey-coated complexion. She sleepily thumbs at Jimin’s scars and then collarbones, a simple body part that is starting to hold - Yoonji discovers in less than 6 hours - so much power against her.

Yoonji wants to graze her teeth against the protruding bones.

Okay, so maybe there’s a bit of a dirty kind, but still, it’s bordering on kid-friendly!

Yoonji only hums in response, nuzzling at Jimin’s shoulder.

Unnie,” Jimin whispers against her temple and Yoonji feels the air being knocked out of her tiny frame. She tilts her head up and stares into Jimin’s beaming face, eyes dropping to his lips.

Yoonji had always loved staring into Jimin’s plump lips. She remembers all those times she had to wipe his lips clean whenever they eat out after Jimin spent back-to-back shifts in the hospital during his first year as an official practitioner. He was too tired to keep his eyes open but never too tired to feast on a hearty meal. Good thing Yoonji was there to clean up after him and drive them home every night.

“I like that,” Yoonji tells Jimin, sounding close to falling asleep and thumbing at Jimin’s chin. Her eyes fall shut. She feels the skin on Jimin’s chin scrunching. Yoonji ignores him and only presses her nose at his jaw.

They didn’t talk anymore after that. Yoonji finally surrenders to dreamland with Jimin massaging her scalp.

 

 

When Monday came, Yoonji glared at the usual men’s clothes Jimin is wearing that morning. She exaggerated her pout and stomped around the house with extra sway of her hips to make it clear that she likes it best when Jimin wears feminine clothes.

Jimin only laughed and ignored her, making sure to throw the white shirt Yoonji’s been looking for straight to his noona’s face. Yoonji huffed and threw a pillow at Jimin’s closed bedroom door. It was a playful banter, nothing too alarming, but Yoonji was annoyed and she begged for the day to end when it hadn't even started yet just so she could rip those boring dress pants and grey button shirt off Jimin’s body.

When evening befell that same day, after arriving home and disappearing into each other’s bedrooms to change clothes so they can start with dinner, the frown and annoyance from the morning all went out of the window. Yoonji grins at the sight of hairclips on Jimin’s hair. She’s wearing velvet maroon tiny shorts and a yellow plaid pajama top. The few buttons are open and Yoonji makes an obnoxious chef’s kiss at the sight of Jimin’s pretty legs and cute purple lace bra peeking from Jimin’s chest.

And then they fall into a cycle. Jimin goes to work in his usual clothes and bids good night to Yoonji in her assortment of skirts, shorts, and dresses.

Yoonji makes sure to show her appreciation for the way Jimin picks up her clothes. As days turn into weeks, Yoonji no longer grumbles at his work clothes. But he makes sure to wear satin underwear every day. Yoonji also deemed it upon herself to style Jimin’s hair and even apply light makeup on his face. Jimin would smile when he’s pulled into Yoonji’s bedroom or on the couch, the elder straddling his lap and hands busy making him look pretty. Still professionally presentable but also pretty.

They still work normally around each other, go to work together - with Jimin dropping Yoonji and picking her up from work - and resume their routine without really having to change anything between them. They’re still the best of friends and Yoonji still packs lunch for both of them. She never stops grumbling and cursing when Jimin leaves the lights in the living room open overnight or glares at her best friend, when he’s walking with his eyes, closed, necktie hanging loose around his neck asking for her help.

Nothing has changed.

Well, there are a few things that have changed. And mostly, they’re all concerning Yoonji’s territory.

For one, the hookups had finally stopped. She continues to play at the club but Yoonji no longer shoves her tongue at a random girl or even accepts a drink from any one-night-stand suitors. On the fourth Friday Yoonji rejected the fourth drink offered to her, Taehyung asked out loud why she was suddenly Christian and performing abstinence.

Yoonji flicked a limp fry at him with a scowl.

She’s in no way denying her needs, but she wouldn’t also deny that she’s been busy thinking of a certain someone every single time. Obviously, it’s Jimin but she wouldn’t admit it to Taehyung.

Besides, ever since Jimin came to pick her up that one time in the club, he’s been doing it consistently. He still misses Yoonji’s set but she doesn’t give a damn about it. As long as Jimin would appear, share a few drinks with her, giggle at each other, and argue about what to eat for dinner, then it’s all Yoonji could ever ask for.

Another thing that kicks Yoonji off her axis is the weekends when Jimin would dress more femininely. Weekends are days Yoonji sleeps in but knowing that Jimin would be in his cute clothes only encourages Yoonji to wake up on time, even sometimes beating the sunrise.

She’s never felt this type of exhilaration and adoration before. She’s acting so strange but see, Jimin looks so pretty it hurts.

Especially that particular Saturday afternoon when Jimin stepped out of his bedroom dressed in a long apricot dress with puffed sleeves and a flowy hem. There’s a white knit scarf around his neck to shield him from the evening autumn breeze. He’s also wearing beautiful earrings and cute sneakers to match his outfit. The glasses on the bridge of his nose only made his face look even more gorgeous.

He looked so soft and dainty and hot; Yoonji swallowed the thick lump in her throat when Jimin smiled at her and called her unnie.

Jimin then confessed that when they’re together and when Jimin’s wearing feminine clothes, Jimin feels closer to his feminine side. Yoonji only beamed at her and pulled her by the wrist, dragging Jimin to her bedroom so Yoonji could work on Jimin’s makeup and hair after she got dressed.

They were only going to do grocery shopping but for Yoonji it felt like a date.

And everything else they did together felt more like a date—more and more, and Yoonji is unsurprisingly starting to make Jimin not only her home but also her world.

 

 

Yoonji makes sure that the apartment is silent before she cracks her bedroom door open.

It’s Saturday and it’s only 6 in the morning but Yoonji’s already wide awake.

Jimin came home late last night, He went out with Hoseok and their other colleagues for a drink. Yoonji spent a couple of days in Daegu for a project and research presentation. They have not seen each other for almost a week and relied on Facetime, mostly annoying each other and reminding the other to do well but take it easy at work.

In those days that they were apart, Yoonji would backread to their previous conversation, eyes scanning again and again at the whines and rants Jimin would send on her way. She’d smile at them, loving how her best friend acts like he got everything together but in the privacy of their conversation, Jimin is nothing but a petulant kid, close to tears because one nurse kept hitting on him or that the couple he’s attending to wouldn’t stop asking for extra copies of the ultrasound.

She would also grin at the mention and details of the outfit Jimin wore the night before. Yoonji couldn’t stop imagining Jimin twirling her dress or skirt, and couldn’t stop smiling at the thought of Jimin tugging at the sleeves of her sweater or carefully placing hairclips on her bangs. Yoonji couldn’t stop thinking about Jimin at all.

Not in a pervy way!

But in an admiring, Yoonji-finds-Jimin-cute way, okay?

Okay!

She doesn’t ask her to send selfies, never forcing Jimin to do anything she doesn’t feel comfortable doing. Yoonji, though, the chaotic lesbian that she is, would send selfies, or of herself posing at a random staircase taken by Namjoon. Jimin will reply with a series of emojis, too random for Yoonji to make sense.

Yoonji likes to think that she successfully caught Jimin’s attention since she’d never sent photos of herself before. Seokjin told her that she was in the flirting stage and Yoonji stopped breathing for at least 3 minutes to analyze her current reality. She’s flirted before but with Jimin, she’s flirting like a different person.

Not entirely against it; it actually feels nice and warm and cute—a word that Yoonji doesn’t associate herself with. She’s not cute, but Jimin is. So she’s blindingly going to flirt like a teenager, in a cute way just because.

Jimin will ask her about her day, if she’s been nice to some important people in her field, or if she brought with her enough blister bandages since Yoonji has trouble wearing heels all the time. She finds it adorable, Jimin’s concern and their phone calls that consist nothing of Are you eating well? Don’t forget to bring me presents when you return, unnie, alright?

Yoonji would have never thought in their friendship of 10 years that she’d fall for Jimin. But that’s already an old tune, and that’s a soundtrack that Yoonji was glad she never paid too much attention to. She never disregarded Jimin’s natural allure and knows that Jimin is a beautiful man.

Her only mistake was to limit her what-ifs when it came to Park Jimin.

And now, with Jimin calling her unnie almost on a daily basis (evenings and through messaging) Yoonji knows that she has a crush.

A big fat crush on Park Jimin, her beautiful best friend. Send her to oblivion at this instant! This revelation is greater than any discovery, the last ingredient to complete Yoonji’s doom. Definitely.

She’s still in the middle of thinking about what to do about her crush, but right now, there are better things that require Yoonji’s undivided attention.

The living room and the kitchen are painfully cold. It’s a good thing that Yoonji pulled on a hoodie that reached half of her thighs and knee-high yellow socks before stepping out of her bedroom. It’s already bright outside, the sun somewhat tame compared to its normal sunny glow. She hates the cold but since Jimin’s birthday falls in autumn, she doesn’t mind bundling in thick layers or dealing with the harshness of the season.

Jimin’s existence is warm enough for her to withstand the crispness of the breeze.

Taking careful steps to the kitchen, Yoonji pulls the fridge open. She gingerly pushes the bottles and containers of leftovers aside to reveal the tiny box of cake she’d brought home last night.

She arrived home earlier than Jimin last night and made all the necessary preparations for today before getting to bed and hoping that Jimin would be tipsy enough to ignore everything else but dreamland. She didn’t have anything planned in mind, only knew that Jimin would enjoy a hearty birthday breakfast with his best friend.

Even though she hated the fact that they’d been apart for a week, she was glad that she get to have the apartment alone so she could work precisely and focally. Cooking with Jimin can be troublesome most of the time, either he’s latching onto Yoonji’s back like a bear or asking a series of questions about a certain ingredient’s nutritional value.

Yoonji, ever doting and patient yet still sassy best friend that she is, would answer Jimin’s inquiries with an eye roll or a glare. Sometimes, Jimin would be a laughing mess after Yoonji answered with a series of aish, yah! What kind of reasoning is that? And you call yourself a doctor? Park Jimin, anything can be a vibrator!

The linguist and her collection of the vulgar libretto.

She’s the one with the snarkiest soul, a true punk and Hoseok is one of their friends who would never stop telling Yoonji to tone down her risqué side. Yoonji thinks it’s because he works with children being a pediatrician that he’s automatically correcting her like a perfect adult figure. But Yoonji has heard Hoseok curse like a sailor so she’s not really the one who needs self-reflection.

Speaking of Hoseok, Yoonji was communicating with him all the time last night, politely asking (threatening) to drink less than normal and to make sure that he’s the one who’s going to drive Jimin home because as much as she wants her best friend to enjoy a night out with his colleagues, Yoonji worries a lot about Jimin. She wants him safe.

 

From Hoseok:

R u sure you two ain’t dating noona?

To Hoseok:

🗡️

From Hoseok:

???

To Hoseok:

I may have a crush but spill one syllable and ure 🔫

From Hoseok:

A crush???

Your honor, you love Jimin

&& did jimin mention how you’re always so brutally vulgar?

To Hoseok:

That’s my gender!! you can’t do anything about 😠

Now make sure my Jimin’s safe 🔪

From Hoseok:

😲YOUR Jimin???

R u sure it’s only a crush?

To Hoseok:

If you want to continue being a pediatrician, u better shut up 🔫

🔫🔫🔫🔫

 

 

That night, while she was lying awake on her bed, she made sure to wait for the sound of Jimin’s complaints with Hoseok’s voice following behind her best friend before she decided to call it a day.

It’s a shit move, really, to leave it all to Hoseok, but Yoonji’s been fighting with herself ever since Jimin sent a photo of her in a cute strawberry-printed crop top and leggings that hugged her legs in all the crevices last Thursday night before deciding to call each other and virtually eat dinner together.

They were doing Facetime while watching an episode of a drama they’re both a fan of—Yoonji in her hotel room and Jimin in the apartment of their living room with bowls of their own dinner on their lap. The first 10 minutes went well and Yoonji tried her best to focus on the episode but every time she would shift her gaze from the television screen to the phone on her knee, she would feel bothered by how Jimin looked.

Jimin’s seated in the middle of their couch and bundled in one of the throws Yoonji would leave on the backrest.

She has makeup on. Yoonji’s convinced that the little shit stole some of her lipstick because Yoonji’s fairly certain that the shade of red on Jimin’s lips was the latest brand they bought just recently.

 

 

 

Jimin was also dressed in another pair of tight-fitting jeans and a blouse under the cute pink coat and wool hat to protect herself from the autumn chill that weekend.

“I like this red,” Jimin said, tucking her chin on Yoonji’s shoulder, arms loosely wrapped around Yoonji’s waist.

Yoonji was wearing a baggy yet classy-looking sweater and ripped jeans so tight, Jimin couldn’t stop voicing out her concern that Yoonji might break for how nimble she looked as they wandered around the department store. Yoonji only smirked and held her hand, fighting the brush to move past her neck so Jimin wouldn’t see.

“This is a pretty shade,” Yoonji agreed, pulling out the tester and dabbing a few inks on her wrist. Jimin blinked at her owlishly, studying her with such wonder.

Yoonji saw the look on her face in the mirror before them. She laughed and nosed at Jimin’s cheek.

“Haven't you seen lipstick before?” Yoonji teased.

Jimin was about to open her mouth and retort out an attack but Yoonji pressed on, “obviously, lipsticks don’t just appear out of the mother’s vagina. Imagine the shock!”

Jimin tightened her hold around her best friend and swayed them like the raging sea. Yoonji wouldn’t stop laughing while Jimin couldn’t contain her embarrassment from the words spilling out of her best friend’s lips.

“Of all the things you could say, it’s the nasty things, unnie.”

“I love language,” Yoonji replied, turning around to face Jimin completely.

“Or would you rather hear: Doctor the baby is too small, only weighing 3.5 grams!” Jimin began to giggle, scrunching her face at the silliness of the exchange.

Yoonji proceeded to amuse her, “or maybe! Maybe, the mother would wake into life in the middle of c-section labor and apologize, sorry I couldn’t help it, I was feeling needy and horny and I only had—

Jimin covered Yoonji’s mouth with both hands, almost blocking air going into her lungs.

“You’re so infuriating, unnie!” Jimin half-whined, half-laughed, pressing their foreheads together. Yoonji loved how the soft material brushed her skin and how warm Jimin felt around her. She loved how wide her smile was, how delighted and airy her giggles were.

When Jimin pulled her hands away, Yoonji pretended to gasp for air in large gulps. Heaving her chest obnoxiously, and whimpering as they stood in the lipstick aisle.

“You could’ve killed me,” Yoonji said dramatically, her long black hair in big loose pleats. Jimin did so poorly with her locks but Yoonji prided herself to be Jimin’s only model.

“Because if you’re not spilling curses, you’ll be throwing innuendos left and right,” Jimin huffed, tucking a loose lock in the back of Yoonji’s hair. She wrapped her arms around Yoonji’s waist, both are thankful that the makeup section at this time of the day was still scarce from everyone so they could openly cling to each other without fretting.

“You love it when I get playful,” Yoonji reminded her, placing her forearms on Jimin’s shoulders.

“I do, but not in public.”

“Are you ashamed?”

Jimin snorted and leaned down to kiss her cheek. “What—of you? Never! But you’re just so silly most of the time I’d end up a giggling mess and you know what happens when I can't contain my laughter.”

Yoonji grinned and swayed them slowly. “A cuddle monster. The best cuddle monster, my Jimin-ah.”

Jimin nodded, face bright and beaming and proud to be called with such a nickname. “And I can’t just cuddle you out in public, can I? Even though there’s nothing more I want in the world but to keep you in my arms, unnie.”

“Fucking sweet, this baby,” Yoonji teased but she looked away when she felt Jimin freeze. Yoonji panicked for a millisecond but relaxed when Jimin nosed at her temple. The sweet pet name slipped accidentally but Yoonji would never take it back.

They swayed for a couple of seconds before standing still and Yoonji resumed looking at the lipstick stain on her wrist. She dabbed her ring finger on the ink on her left wrist and applied some on Jimin’s lips. They stared into each other’s eyes quietly but gazed so strongly, Yoonji could almost feel sparks in the air.

She looked away again and instead pointed at the mirror. “This color looks so good on your lips, Jimin-ah. Check it yourself.”

“I think it’ll look good on you, too, Yoonji-unnie,” Jimin said shyly, loosening her hold around Yoonji and blinking at her reflection. “You’re going to be so pretty.”

Yoonji only hummed, trying to stop her cheeks from blushing. Jimin might mean the lipstick, but Yoonji couldn’t help but feel her heart soar at the word pretty. At the implied admiration, the only thing Yoonji found herself craving.

“We’re going to get one of these, then.”

“Only one?” Jimin reached for a wet wipe inside her bag and pulled out a wet tissue. Yoonji opened her mouth to scold her, insisting to keep the lipstick on but remained quiet when Jimin gingerly pulled Yoonji’s left wrist.

“We don’t need a lot of makeup,” Yoonji said quietly, watching how carefully Jimin was wiping the stain away.

“But you don’t like to share,” Jimin teased with a pout. “You don’t even share your bed with me.”

How can Yoonji share the bed when that mattress should be burned down into ashes? Jimin’s too special and precious to lay in a space where Yoonji had bedded millions of girls.

“You’ll get there one of these days,” she replied instead. “Ordered a new mattress already.”

“You bought a new bed? Why—I mean, why wasn’t I informed? I’m the one who would usually orders stuff at home. You get scared doing online transactions, right?”

Yoonji smiled at how concerned her best friend sounded. “I didn’t order it online, I tested all the mattresses in the department store last Wednesday. Seokjin-oppa went with me and watched in horror as I lay on each mattress like a cat and napped on all of them.”

Jimin giggled and lifted her wrist, eyes boring into Yoonji’s heart. Yoonji watched with so much interest when the doctor kissed Yoonji’s inner wrist like it was the most normal thing to do.

“There, all better,” Jimin grinned, eyes crinkling at the sides, happy and dazzling. “I attended to your wound, my dear patient,” she joked, “are you sure we’re only going to get one lipstick? Can’t we get a couple more?”

“We’re going to share,” Yoonji squinted her eyes at Jimin, scoffing when the younger only rolled her eyes and gave up. Yoonji knew Jimin was only teasing and yelped when she was pulled down the aisle where the foundation and palettes of blush powder were.

“Fine, you promised. We’re sharing,” Jimin said as they scan the different shades and brands of blush powder on the shelf.

Yoonji only hummed and leaned closer to whisper into her ears, huskily and trying to sound sexy, “yes doctor.”

The sounds that escaped Jimin’s lips out of frustration made Yoonji want to tease her more. It also made shopping and spending time out together feel more wonderful.

It awfully felt like a date - just like all those times they spent outside - and Yoonji didn’t want to admit it back then but Jimin was not only her home and her world. She couldn’t scream it out loud yet, but Jimin is Yoonji’s reason to exist and she didn’t want to lay it out in the open.

Not just yet.

But the cute clothes, the leggings, the crop tops, the fucking red lipstick, the panty lace that mixes with her in the washer, and Jimin calling her unnie are ricocheting Yoonji to multiple versions of hopes and desires and to a future that Yoonji had never dreamed of having before.

A relationship.

A proper romantic, sapphic relationship.

 

 

 

She was content with Friday flings and hotel hookups before. But now, she’s craving some semblance of domesticity, permanence. Something she never thought she deserves.

Yet as she removes the cake from the box and reaches for the lighter, a lighter left by one of the previous girls, and heads quietly to Jimin’s bedroom with a smile on her face—

Yoonji thinks she wouldn’t be able to find anyone as good as Jimin. For someone who’s always worried to fuck things up hence pulling out a prank; scared to admit to the idea of love because it was something she didn’t find a reason to believe in, and; worried that she’ll be left for how sharp her tongue is and cruel her reasons are, Yoonji knew she’s meant to grow alone.

She’ll be the fleeting snarky soul, never staying still. Always running away.

But as she pushes the door to Jimin’s bedroom door open, she can’t help but sniffle at the idea of finally staying. And for believing in love because yes, with every beat of her heart and how careful she is pulling the covers off Jimin’s frame, revealing a cream silk pajama top and shorts, Yoonji finally believes in love.

After all, Yoonji’s been doing all of those things with Jimin, even if they don’t realize falling into that kind of affinity.

Jimin whines at the disturbance but when she cracks an eye open and sees Yoonji holding her cake, she rolls to the other side, giggling at the wonderful surprise. Yoonji kicks at her bum, grumbling to hurry because the candle is morphing with the icing. The birthday celebrant only huffs and stands on her knees. Jimin blows the cake hastily and places it on the bedside table so she can pull Yoonji into bed, under the covers, and into her arms.

“Best birthday, ever,” Jimin sleepily says, pressing a wet kiss on Yoonji’s cheek. “Thank you, thank you!”

“The same repetitive comment every year,” Yoonji complains playfully but pulls Jimin closer, leaning down to land a kiss on the doctor’s neck.

“You always give a wonderful surprise, unnie.”

“I literally do the same thing every year, get you a cake, cook you a meal, and sing you a song. Nothing special.”

“This year though, I get to call you my unnie. That’s the best gift,” Jimin whines, eyes closed and voice becoming slurred.

“I miss you, unnie,” Jimin adds, nuzzling against Yoonji’s temple.

Yoonji wants to add that this is the only birthday that Jimin has ever glued herself to Yoonji like a koala.

But the soft wheezes of Jimin’s breathing and their tangled legs under the sheets are all enough for Yoonji to just admire and appreciate the moment.

Hoseok might be right, she thinks, as she starts to quietly hum Jimin’s birthday song, palm pressed flat on Jimin’s chest. She’s rubbing warm circles on her pectorals through the silk pajama top, smiling softly when she sees Jimin pressing closer, seeking her warmth more.

Happy birthday my love, my Jimin. Happy birthday to you.

 

 

“You good?”

Yoonji only nods at Jeongguk and shoos him away.

It’s the last Friday of October and Yoonji decided to switch sets for tonight. Jimin may have told her that he was coming at a later time and had begged on his birthday that Yoonji should at least show him how good she is at playing scratch pads.

 

 

 

“You’re my tiny DJ,” Jimin said the next Monday after spending the weekend lounging inside the house and attending to their paperwork. “Please, grace me with your DJ skills, oh mighty lady Yoonji.”

Yoonji ignored him and tightened his necktie around his neck.

“Stop making me laugh, I haven’t had my coffee yet,” Yoonji huffed, rubbing her toes and shivering at the cool morning air. They woke up earlier than usual and Yoonji wasn’t liking having to loop the thin cloth around Jimin’s neck when she hasn’t showered yet. “You have to leave work earlier than usual to see me play. We can’t all spoil you, you plebeian.”

Jimin chuckled at the teasing and Yoonji would’ve pulled at the necktie tighter around Jimin’s throat if it weren’t for the fact that she was being lifted off the floor, hands moving under her thighs.

“What the fuck—Jimin!”

Jimin hoisted her up, the sleeves of his dress shirt cinching at the motion. He ignored Yoonji’s mutterings as he lifted his best friend onto the kitchen island and pulled her legs around his waist.

“You’re shaking and about to fall down,” Jimin teased, craning his neck so Yoonji could resume fixing his tie.

“I’m shaking because of the cold, and I am about to fall down for the lack of food,” Yoonji sassed.

“Sorry, I had to leave early,” Jimin squeezed Yoonji’s waist through her sweater. “Let me, a commoner, make it up to you, Your Majesty.”

Yoonji poked Jimin’s bum with her left heel. “Jimin-ah, don’t be annoying. Unnie can strangle you so well even with my eyes closed.”

“Always so kinky,” Jimin laughed, leaning in to kiss Yoonji’s temple. “How about you change your schedule with Jeongguk this coming Friday so I can be there and treat you to an out-of-this-world experience after your gig?”

Yoonji tried to look unaffected but when Jimin carried her to the bathroom, placed her carefully on the countertop, and helped her to wash her face and fix her hair, before making sure that they got everything ready before stepping out of the house, Yoonji agreed. She may even have been so flustered when Jimin dropped her off at work, never letting her step out of the car without receiving a couple of kisses on her cheeks from his best friend.

As Yoonji watched Jimin’s car drive off, she couldn’t stop chanting—I’m in love. I’m in love, I’m in love, fuck, fuck, fuck.

 

 

 

Jeongguk only laughs and places fresh bottled water and an already open bottle of beer on the drink holder beside the mixers. There’s a random song playing in the background, a pop song Jeongguk set on a loop while they change players.

“Meet you in an hour?”

Yoonji furrows her brows at him and shrugs. She’s wearing a tiny band shirt tonight, not a crop top but definitely smaller than her usual loose shirts. It’s an old faded shirt with one of her favorite rappers on the front. Instead of skinny jeans, Yoonji’s wearing black wide-leg washed jeans, making her legs a bit comfortable against the club’s warm atmosphere. Her hair’s in a high bun, her lips red, and her eyes glitter perfectly under the neon lights.

“Maybe,” Yoonji replies, plugging her own headphones and fixing the rings on her fingers.

She doesn’t want to promise anything because Jimin will be there and when Jimin’s with her, Yoonji doesn’t want to focus on anything else but her best friend. Jeongguk is waiting for her reply and when Yoonji only shrugs, Jeongguk cackles and pokes at her forehead.

“Fucking knew you’d want to bed someone again,” Yoonji deepens her frown and tries to scratch the pad on the mixer.

“What?”

Jeongguk only leans down, helps her with her headphones, and whispers to her ear, “there’s a girl in a white flowy shirt and long black hair, she might be your type, noona. Standing at the right of the stage, easy to spot.”

Yoonji only rolls her eyes and pushes him away, finally kicking him off the stage.

She can’t be looking at anyone else right now since she’s more eager to see Jimin tonight and see what his reaction would be. The last time she messed around was already so long time ago, and if they were to ask if she ever regret it, Yoonji would proudly say no.

Jimin’s the reason she’s now believing in love. There’s no point in trying other fish in the sea and faking her orgasm just so she can satisfy her normal bodily needs. It’s Jimin or nothing and it may take time, but whatever.

Yoonji’s going to make sure that tonight will be one of the best performances she’d ever done.

If only Jimin is already here and then he’d know.

But as Yoonji scans their usual spot in the bar, fingers magically toggling and jumping from buttons, she can’t help but feel less and less motivated. Jimin isn’t still there. Yoonji reaches for her beer and takes a couple of swigs as she adds a couple more beats, increasing speed and melody. The crowd jumps and cheers at her, loving the sudden tempo.

Yoonji quickly eyes the bar, disappointed that she only found a couple of faceless faces and Taehyung nodding at her mixes. She eyes the timer on top of the tablet before her and realizes that she’s been playing for more than 30 minutes now. There are only 15 minutes left til Yoonji has to stop and call her round to an end.

But where is Jimin? Finishing the beer in one go, earning hollers from a couple of men on her left, Yoonji smirks and places the bottle back in its holder. She raises her left arm and hypes the crowd before her, bopping her head as she heightens the volume and pads at the bass in succession.

Ignoring the pang in her heart that grows heavier and heavier, Yoonji focuses on her set, scratching the records and mixing a couple more songs. She’s on her last track and decides to end this gig with a banger, setting a Justin Bieber song because all those who go to the club are all fans of Justin and his latest tracks.

She clicks the track but instead of Bieber’s voice ringing in the club, it’s from Marie Ulven, the Norwegian artist she and Jimin loved listening to for years.

Adults don’t have summer breaks and summer vacations since they have to work all year round. However, unlike the previous summer, Yoonji and Jimin found themselves giggling on the couch, the humid yet tolerable air filtering through the window of their living room. They were just woken from their nap, on a Wednesday, something of rare occurrence.

Jimin was granted two weeks off from work after working a series of graveyards and traveling to Busan for a medical mission. Yoonji who never used her vacation leave took this as an opportunity to stay at home with her best friend.

Hence, Jimin was clad in his shirt and pants sitting on the couch, bangs pulled back with one of Yoonji’s headbands. Yoonji was only wearing a white tattered shirt and cotton underwear, complaining that the pants were too warm for her legs. She’s always been so shameless and Jimin had stopped reprimanding her.

They’re playing songs from girl in red at random, a Spotify playlist provided by the artist’s page.

I do the same thing I told you that I never would

“Is that a Bieber cover?” Jimin asked, pushing the glasses up his nose and letting out a big yawn.

Yoonji set the phone on the coffee table and nodded. “I like this version. It’s calmer. And more sincere.”

“More sincere,” Jimin echoed, reaching for Yoonji’s wrists and pulling her onto his lap.

“I like your hair like this, noona,” Jimin commented, eyeing the black silk locks. “I bet you’d look even more beautiful with long wavy hair.”

Yoonji only hummed and brushed her knees against his thighs. “I’ll ask Jeongguk about it. He still works at the salon, gonna order him to make me prettier.”

Jimin only rolled his eyes and thumbed at her inner wrists softly.

Intimacy and tactility were a normal flowing part of their friendship; never fueled with lust and attraction anyway. Yoonji had found it surprising before, that she’s more loved the way Jimin held her compared to all the girls who hugged her. It may have something to do with Jimin being her best friend but still, Jimin’s a guy, and Yoonji only likes girls.

So it was really…peculiar.

Know that I can’t find nobody else as good as you

“Should we go out for a drive?” Jimin asked, thumbing at the outer flesh of Yoonji’s thighs. Yoonji’s arms automatically curled around Jimin’s neck, her shoulder-length hair swaying with the breeze. Jimin lifted his right hand and fixed Jimin’s bangs, careful to push it off her brows.

“Do you want to travel somewhere south? Or fly to Jeju?” Yoonji asked with a bright smile.

“We could, we still have 13 days left anyway,” Jimin grinned. Yoonji nodded, turning her body to reach for her phone. Jimin’s hands were gentle as they held on to Yoonji’s waist, making sure she won’t fall.

I need you to stay, need you to stay

When I’m away from you, I miss your touch

“I didn’t know that the lyrics of this song sounds…” Jimin hummed, helping Yoonji back on his lap and lifting his hands up to the back of Yoonji’s head, collecting all her locks.

“Too angsty?”

“Maybe?” Jimin smiled, pulling the hair tie off his wrist and tying Yoonji’s hair. “It’s a love song.”

“All songs are love songs, doctor,” Yoonji replied, moving around and settling against Jimin’s chest. She laid her head on Jimin’s shoulder, still sitting on his lap. Jimin’s arms wind around her frame and her knees.

And you know that I know that I can’t live without you

They continued to look for tickets and made sure to check the availability of the places they want to see. But after twenty minutes of bickering with the song looping in the background, they just decided to go somewhere around the outskirts of Seoul for tonight and think of something else tomorrow.

Ain’t no way that I could leave you stranded

Cause you ain’t ever left me empty-handed

“Burger, chicken, and beer,” Yoonji said as they watched the sky turn purple. Jimin was rubbing soft circles on her knee, Yoonji tapping at Jimin’s rib to the tune of the song they’d set on repeat.

“That’s a lot of meals for dinner,” Jimin hummed. “And they’re all greasy.”

“I’m not chugging down an entire barrel of cooking oil, Jimin-ah. Relax.”

Jimin whacked out a laugh and leaned down to bite her ear. “I’ll be fucked up if you can’t say anything normal for a minute.”

Yoonji slapped his arm lightly. “Stop quoting lines from a Bieber song!”

“This is a girl in red’s song from now on,” Jimin countered, lifting Yoonji off the couch and bringing her to her bedroom. Yoonji laughed as Jimin twirled her silly, her legs flapping in the air and face sinking against Jimin’s neck.

Jimin carefully placed her in bed, the room glowing golden from the setting sun. Yoonji didn’t fail to notice the eyes staring at the ashtray still filled with ash and pressed filter tips. Yoonji had left it for days. She cupped his cheeks and beamed instead, hoping it’ll distract him.

“Told you I’d change even when I knew I never could; know that I can’t find nobody else as good as you,” Yoonji sat up straight as she sang. “I need you to stay, need you to stay.”

Jimin smiled and nosed at her forehead. “Go get changed, we’ll eat out and maybe, just maybe, since you’ve serenaded a foolish pleb like me, we can finally make Jeju happen.”

“Or we can still enjoy our time together at home, Jimin-ah,” thumbing at the apple of his cheeks and smiling sincerely at him.

“I know, noona.”

Yoonji grinned, feeling soft and warm. Her phone’s still belting out the same song from the living room.

You’re the reason I believe in love

And it’s been difficult for me to trust

 

 

 

Yoonji’s hair had already grown long, she’d already found out things about her best friend she would never have guessed. She gave in to her crush, finally accepting that - indeed - Yoonji is in love. She switched schedules with Jeongguk because Jimin told her she’ll come and watch.

Jimin promised her. Yet Jimin isn’t here.

“I need you to stay,” Yoonji quietly mouths the lyrics of the song, stopping the curl of her lips to protrude into a pout. She slowly shifts the tempo, lowering it to a fade since it’s almost nearing the end. It’s a good downtime track, if she’s being honest, the perfect song to dictate the right mood at the right time.

She snatches a look at the bar one last time and sighs when there’s no Jimin in sight.

Maybe Jimin had an emergency? Maybe there’s no feeling behind everything. Maybe Yoonji’s bound to wander and watch as cigarette smoke whiffs into the air every night; swirls into the space of her room and then disappears.

Too bad, Yoonji’s has already fallen deep and her feelings had decided to stay. Only time will tell if she could ever heal from a heartbreak; she's never had the opportunity and will never give in to the pressure of confessing.

Feeling petulant and mad, Yoonji finally gives in to the comment Jeongguk said a while ago. Marie’s voice is no longer in the background, she’s slowly fading out. She still has ten seconds left and when she glances to her right, with the bodies finally mellowing from their dancing and the crowd slowly dispersing away back to the booths—those ten seconds are the longest ten seconds of her life.

It’s Jimin.

In a white flowy shirt, a couple of buttons open revealing black lingerie. She’s wearing a wig and a cute black leather skater skirt. Her lips are sinfully and magnificently red. Fuck.

Yoonji blinks at her; once, twice, a lot of times before finally removing her headphones and rounding the DJ booth.

Since it’s a closing set, the last song plays on the loop. Marie’s voice belts in the club and Yoonji never cuts her gaze off Jimin, who gingerly placed her bottle of beer on the ledge of the stage and lifted her arms up, swaying at the soft beat. Her shirt rides up to expose the lace and the waistband connecting her underwear and bra. She continues to dance, arms in the air and eyes stealing glances at Yoonji’s surprised face.

Yoonji’s feeling extra hot, mouth-watering, and eyes glazing. The mix of the song sounds deafening and the strobe lights are blinding but Yoonji easily finds her way, jumping off the stage and wrapping her hands around Jimin’s waist, quickly creeping under the shirt.

I get drunk, wake up, I’m wasted still

I realize the time that I wasted here

Jimin folds her elbows on Yoonji’s shoulders, fingers wrapping at the back of the DJ’s head.

“I thought you wouldn’t make it,” Yoonji says, leaning down and pressing her body against Jimin’s chest. “I thought I fucked up!”

Jimin’s tickling laughter would always sound better compared to any perfect song. Yoonji tightens her hold around Jimin’s waist, blunt nails digging into the skin. Yoonji’s eyes darkened at the sound of a moan escaping from Jimin’s lips.

“I’ll be fucked if I can’t be right here,” Jimin stares back at her, ignoring the other patrons surrounding them on the dance floor.

“I was so afraid,” Yoonji swallowed thickly, lifting a hand to cup Jimin’s jaw. “I thought I fucked it all up.”

Jimin only shakes her head, her long hair swaying with her motion. Yoonji can’t stop admiring her. She grins when Jimin leans closer and closer and Yoonji flutters her lashes close when Jimin’s plump lips make their way onto hers.

A new song plays in the background with a new DJ cheering over the microphone. Yoonji ignores everyone else, ignores the rest of the world because she’s in the embrace of her reason, her purpose—her breath and bearer of her soul.

Jimin’s tugging at her lower lip, fingers moving up and down on her back, desperate and needy and Yoonji wouldn’t deny her. Never.

“Let’s go home,” Yoonji breathes in harshly, nosing at the cheekbone and hands moving underneath Jimin’s shirt, cupping her already excited nipples. “Take me home.”

Jimin steals a quick peck on her lips and nods. Yoonji guides her through the sea of bodies and asks for her bag from under the bar. Taehyung grins at Yoonji and blinks a couple of times when he notices who’s the girl his noona was going to drag home.

“Jimin-ah!” Taehyung shouts and Yoonji looks past her shoulder, fingers tight around Jimin’s. She knows Taehyung wouldn’t spit something stupid, but she’s in protective mode and she won’t let anyone call Jimin out.

The bartender only grins and raises two thumbs up. He winks at Yoonji who only rolls her eyes and beams at Jimin with higher cheeks and a brighter smile.

“You look so beautiful,” Taehyung comments sincerely. “I’m sure Yoonji-noona would never let you go now.”

Yoonji blushes at the words and looks away, pretending to scratch the nonexistent itch on the tip of her nose. Jimin giggles beside her and Yoonji yelps when Jimin drags her closer against her side.

“Tell everyone else, she’s taken. Unnie is mine.”

Taehyung barks out a laugh and waves at them, telling them to go.

And go they did, laughing at their poor choices of clothes, coats have forgotten. Warm air is swirling around them as they huff and chatter as they race to the car. Jimin tugs at Yoonji’s waist, turning her around and gingerly pushing her against the car door. Yoonji groans when Jimin attacks her lips, red lipstick messily smearing out of the outline of their plush lips.

“Baby,” Yoonji bites her upper lip, hands tight around Jimin’s shoulders and right knee brushing at Jimin’s thigh, just under the hem of her skirt.

Jimin takes the moment to slide her tongue inside the hot cavern, making Yoonji turn into a complete goo despite the cold weather.

“Home,” Yoonji moans at the feeling of Jimin’s tongue on hers. “Home, now, baby, or else—”

“Hmm?”

“Or else, I’ll eat you out right here, right now.”

Jimin chuckles as she pulls away. Her wig is perfectly clipped on her head, not even sliding off askew. Yoonji is breathing harshly for air, her skin red from how hot she’s feeling inside and the cold air from the outside. Jimin isn’t any different. It brings great satisfaction to Yoonji that Jimin is loving all of this.

Yoonji’s eyes couldn’t look away from the black lace outlined underneath the white shirt. It’s only this up close and with proper lighting that Yoonji notices how sheer Jimin’s shirt actually is.

“Fuck, Jimin-ah,” Yoonji’s hands move to cover Jimin’s chest mid-air, earning a giggle from her best friend.

“Yoonji-yah, what are you doing?”

“You’re fucking pretty and it’s hurting me,” Yoonji grumbles. “I’m trying to contain what’s left of my sanity.”

“You look like you’re going to burst any moment now,” Jimin says, reaching for Yoonji’s wrists and pressing Yoonji’s palms on her tit. Yoonji stares at her, eyes blown and hair messy.

“Don’t compare me to your patients who are about to pop out a child,” Jimin laughs at Yoonji’s statement. The elder watches in silence when Jimin leaves her hands on her chest and starts unbuttoning her shirt from the hem going up to her collar.

The growl Yoonji made is enough to halt Jimin, her smile, however, clearly shows that she’s not at all bothered.

“Don’t strip here,” Yoonji moves her hands and thumbs at the protruding nipples. Jimin throws her head back, moaning at the sensation.

“Don’t tease me then,” Jimin counters, still groaning and giggling when Yoonji lightly pinches her nipples through the lace and the shirt.

“I won’t,” Yoonji promises, fumbling for the tiny zipper on Jimin’s skirt. “I’ll make you feel good, I promise.”

Jimin’s hand stops her and another hand lifts Yoonji’s face by her chin. Jimin fishes for the car keys, eyes never leaving Yoonji’s.

I’ll make you feel good tonight, unnie.”

Yoonji only nods and quietly obeys. Her cheeks feel cold at the puff of cold evening, but her insides are warm from Jimin’s vague promise.

 

 

 

Fuck, baby,” Yoonji cries, actual tears creeping down her face. They’re not even doing anything intense but Jimin and her tongue are the best things that have ever happened to Yoonji. Next to falling in love with her, obviously.

Now, focus!

Yoonji tries her best to keep her hands on the headboard because she doesn’t want to overwhelm Jimin with a sudden tug here or a pull there. But Jimin is just so good, Yoonji couldn’t stop the tears, much less couldn’t stop the need to just reach for Jimin.

“Baby, baby, please,” Yoonji continues to cry, legs spread open, feet flat on the sheets.

Jimin carried her the moment they stepped into the house and walked straight to Yoonji’s bedroom. Yoonji didn’t mind. The bed’s already new, no more ashtray on her balcony, and no more spare lighters lying everywhere to remind them both of nonsensible things.

They were both gentle and rush in stripping each other’s clothes, leaving Yoonji in her bra and Jimin in her set lingerie. Didn’t waste any more moment, Jimin pushed her into bed and started peppering her kisses from the low part of her throat down to her pink mound.

When Jimin teased her clit, Yoonji screamed at the softest touch. Which, at first she didn’t understand how, because Jimin wasn’t doing anything different. She’s just licking her clit, even blowing at the folds carefully like a kid wary over their hot chocolate drink. The feeling of a tongue on her vagina was never new. As long as it pleases her, then it’s okay.

But Jimin is some sort of a god or a genius - something Yoonji is supposed to be - for how good she is at tracing Yoonji’s fold with so much expertise and conciseness.

It’s only been ten minutes or so but Yoonji thinks she’s already orgasmed seven times now.

“Baby, fuck,” Yoonji belts, arching her back and fingers finally tugging at the locks of Jimin’s wig. “Baby, y-you’re so good. Fuck, let unnie breathe. Baby. I get it, I believe you, out-of-this-world experience, yes!”

Jimin pulls away from between her legs and looks up to stare at Yoonji with fits of laughter. The elder is supposed to glare at her but Yoonji feels the coil in her stomach tighten, Jimin’s chin is dripping and glistening, saliva and Yoonji’s juices flowing messily on Jimin’s skin.

“Come here love,” Yoonji instructs. “Hold me.”

Jimin flicks her hair back and smiles, soft and precious and Yoonji makes grabby hands at her, telling Jimin to hurry.

Once hovering her, Yoonji wraps her arms around Jimin’s neck and starts cleaning the mess on her chin and licking the insides of her tongue. The lace of Jimin’s lingerie brushes against her exposed vagina, clit craving for more. If Yoonji’s being honest, she wants to give in instantaneously, but she wants to spend a couple of seconds making out with her, toy with the long locks, and see how their lipsticks have finally faded after everything.

“Unnie,” Jimin gasps as soon as her back hits the bed, Yoonji pushing her down and straddling her thighs.

“Baby, how can you be so good,” Yoonji breathes heavily, palms on Jimin’s chest, the lace tickling her skin. “You’re so good at making me feel good.”

Jimin grins and reaches for one of Yoonji’s hands. She guides it on her lace-covered cunt. Yoonji smirks, cheeks still stained with tears, and digs her heel against Jimin’s clit.

“Baby got so wet while eating me out?”

“Unnie sounded so good while I’m eating her out,” Jimin says with pride. “I envy all those girls who get to hear you like this.”

Jimin pouts and closes her eyes as she guides Yoonji’s hand between her legs, brushing it up and down.

Yoonji sniffles and only beams when Jimin peels her eyes to gaze at her.

“For the record, I didn’t know I could sound like this, sweetheart,” Yoonji says with a bright smile. She slowly removes her hand from Jimin’s cunt and instead pulls Jimin’s wrist and places them on her back, just where the bra clasp is.

“I am glad that you finally earn something from me being a doctor,” Jimin whispers, fingers fumbling at the lock, ghosting on the metal.

Yoonji stares at her and moves to straddle one of Jimin’s thighs. She leans down to steal light-feather kisses on Jimin’s lips. She pressed their foreheads together and kisses Jimin’s nose.

“Play with my chest while I ride you,” Yoonji tells her. “Can you do that, honey?”

“I’ll do anything for you, unnie,” Jimin promises, breath hitching when she finally unclasps the bra, the straps falling instantly around Yoonji’s arms. Yoonji is still hovering at her, faces only a few inches apart. She takes a quick look at Jimin’s lingerie and kisses Jimin’s chin.

She can still taste herself on Jimin’s chin.

“You look so beautiful wearing this, love,” Yoonji says, a hand going to trace the scars peeking from the gaps of the lace. Jimin mewls and nods, arching her back, asking for more pressure.

Yoonji pulls the straps from Jimin’s shoulders down and carefully tugs at the bra, ignoring the clasp from behind. She blows at the nipples, smiling to herself when Jimin’s skin sparks alive in the warm air. One of Jimin’s hands goes to hold Yoonji at the back of her neck, her other hand holding Yoonji’s waist.

The first lick on the scar made Yoonji swoon at how Jimin sounded so pleased. She did a couple more times, her hips slowly riding up and down on Jimin’s thighs as she showers Jimin’s scars with love. She repeats the same to Jimin’s other scar but has to fall short when Jimin wiggles to lean against the headboard, hands on her hips and guiding her to move faster.

Yoonji only nods, gasping at the feeling of her clit coming more alive and more sensitive as Jimin pull her deeper.

“Go, baby,” Jimin says, “I got you. Let loose, for me, Yoonji.”

Yoonji only cries, head hanging low and surrendering at the intensity of the friction. She tightens her knees around Jimin’s thigh, legs shaking at how vulnerable she’s feeling.

“My chest, Jimin-ah. Play with my chest, please.”

Yoonji could feel her tears running down like a waterfall but with pure delight, as Jimin cups her left tit with her mouth and her right tit with her hand. Yoonji’s breasts aren’t blessed but they’re firm and the nipples are so sensitive that even the slightest brush against the tip will make Yoonji squirm.

Jimin’s doing more than just the slightest brush.

She’s definitely doing something to make Yoonji squirm.

The sheets crease under the bodies, the open balcony door letting the cool air in, balancing their already heated bodies.

Yoonji is already dripping on Jimin’s thigh, her juices squelching loudly and blending in with her cries and moans. “Baby, baby, baby.”

It’s an endless chant, her motion turning erratic and desperate; Jimin’s tongue lapping at her nipples, her breasts, all over her chest, moving up her throat, jawline, and finally her lips.

“Yoonji-yah,” Jimin breathes, nosing at Yoonji’s cheeks, licking at the fallen tear. “The things you do to me, baby.”

“Y-you too,” Yoonji gasps, fingers tightening around Jimin’s shoulders.

Jimin smiles, soft and sincere and heated and Yoonji arches her back after riding Jimin’s thigh in succession and delighted anguish.

She comes staining Jimin’s thighs, her fingers immediately reaching for the juices, dabbing her fingers into the mess. Yoonji’s about to shove her fingers inside her mouth, but Jimin stops her. Instead, Jimin pulls her by the wrist and slides the fingers inside Jimin’s underwear.

“Play with me this time,” Jimin commands, and Yoonji thinks she’s come that night more than 30 times.

She did help Jimin come, fingers and tongue and soft kisses everywhere. They showered together after resting and chatting about nonsensical things, Yoonji wrapped in Jimin’s arms as they faced the balcony and watched the night city lights.

They slept in Jimin’s bedroom, wearing nothing but matching nightgowns and cute socks.

Jimin removed her wig before going to bed, and when she woke that morning, ready to make breakfast for the both of them, she found Yoonji under the sheets and between her legs, nosing at her waxed and exposed vagina, wanting to be as good as Jimin in eating her out.

“You’re fucking insane, unnie,” Jimin laughs, elbows on the bed to give her a better view of Yoonji glaring at her from under her nightgown.

“Last night was the best oral sex in my entire life, I need to give it back.”

“You’re fucking pretty and unbelievable.”

“Of course, I am your girlfriend, I’m the prettiest.”

Jimin snorts but smiles as she tugs Yoonji by the elbows and pulls her to her chest. Yoonji presses her knee gently against the mound of Jimin’s cunt.

“I didn’t know you’d be this insatiable,” Jimin comments leaning up to kiss Yoonji a good morning.

“I didn’t know it’s possible for me too, you know.”

“Yeah? I doubt that,” Jimin says, fixing Yoonji’s hair.

Yoonji only scrunches her nose and pouts. “You’re the only person I love, of course, I haven’t shown this side of me to anyone else, Jimin-ah.”

Yoonji sees the way Jimin’s face morph into shocked, surprised, and happy, and then she’s crying and Yoonji leans down to kiss Jimin on the forehead.

“I do love you, and I don’t think I’ll ever want to let you go.”

Jimin wraps her arms around Yoonji’s frame, pulling her tighter.

“I love you too, Yoonji. For years, since high school.”

Yoonji pinches Jimin’s hip. “Yah! How can you not confess the first time?”

Jimin cackles and turns them in bed, hovering over Yoonji. The elder is glaring at her, the sunlight streaming past the gaps in the curtains. “Because you brought a gun to school and pointed it at everyone else, including me. My mind’s more worried about keeping you in school than taking you out for tteokbokki!”

“It’s a toy gun,” Yoonji giggles, fingers toying with the thin strap of Jimin’s black nightgown. Yoonji’s wearing the exact style only in red.

Jimin’s been in love with her for so long and Yoonji spent years watching ash and smoke from the cigarettes blow away with the wind, thinking it’s what she deserves. To fleet away.

Jimin’s been holding on to her all this time. She may have wasted time - a lot of it - but Jimin actually stayed. With her. The worried linguistics major who, hates wearing pants and likes to read poems in all languages.

She stayed since day one and Yoonji didn’t even notice how gentle and consistent Jimin’s love for her was. Didn’t abandon her, never forced her. How can Yoonji be this lucky?

“You’re lucky I was the class president and that my grandfather was the school principal.”

“I am lucky that I bumped into you first in Seoul,” Yoonji says instead, totally ignoring their high school memories. “I’m lucky that you chose to stay, Jimin-ah.” Yoonji tilts her head, puckering her lips and asking for a kiss.

Jimin’s blinding smile was enough response for Yoonji to bask in a semblance of permanence she always thought she’d fuck up.

Until, of course, Park Jimin.

Jimin eventually leaned down to press butterfly kisses on her lips, soft tickling brushes of skin; Yoonji’s fingers absentmindedly curled at the rib where Jimin’s Nevermind tattoo was. She smiled in the kiss when he felt Jimin’s fingers curled at the back of her hand as if telling her—

 

Never mind them

You thought you couldn’t do it

I did too

Yet, we’re here

Drunk into each other’s kisses

Love never bloomed this good

 

Yoonji wrote that poem in one of Jimin’s notebooks to work. Jimin would always smile whenever he flips his notebook open.

The ashtray on the balcony was replaced with a small terrarium. It contained a moss ball inside and she named it Yoonji.

Yoonji didn’t mind.

 

 

 

Notes:

If you enjoyed this fic – queer topics – you may want to try reading my other works too:

nonbinary afab jimin and understanding amab yoongi | dystopian demiaro kitty and demiace agust d | nonbinary afab hoseok married to understanding seokjin | genderfluid yoonji/yoongi and protective seokjin (this fic is also part of the yoonji fest :]

Again, thank you so much! <3