Chapter Text
Soobin has no idea how he ended up in this situation.
Okay actually that's a big fat lie. He knows exactly how he ended up here; he just wishes he didn't. In his mind he can’t help but curse the day he made his first big mistake and decided to submit his audition to be an idol. What had he been thinking when he decided spending all day everyday surrounded by other pretty boys would not get to him at some point?
He had been doing so well ignoring romantic inclinations for the past four years as an idol. Yeah maybe he slipped up a bit as a trainee, but who didn't have some kind of short lived fling back in those days, still when it came down to his own group he knew those were his best friends and nothing more.
So why was he now panicking and frozen under Taehyun’s strong grip?
The point of the game they were playing was to keep the other person from seeing what was written on the bottom of your sock all while wrestling on a tiny blue mat. At this point Soobin and Taehyun had been rolling around on the mat for a few minutes and Soobin was tired. Taehyun on the other hand was going all in, his competitive nature coming out in full force. It had been a long day of filming and all Soobin wanted was to lay on this blue mat. Right as that thought crossed his mind Taehyun slammed him backwards and quickly moved to hover on his lap.
Soobins mind went blank. That was not what he meant.
Thankfully Taehyun quickly slipped out of his lap flipping Soobin back upright with him and clinging to his back now. Soobin pushed his panic out of mind and tried to find Taehyun’s sock message reaching for the other's leg while putting all his weight into holding Taehyun down with his body. He’s really trying to win, that is until he thinks about how if he wins this round he might have to face another member in the same game. He’s so tired and at this point he thinks he’d rather lose his dignity then go another round.
He’s so caught up in his rapid thoughts weighing his options that he makes the mistake of letting his guard down for a second and Taehyun takes advantage of that. He has managed to free himself from under Soobin and is now kneeling next to him on the mat. Soobin is still flat on his back but knees bent to protect his sock. Taehyun moves between his feet and reaches for his feet. Despite not really wanting to win anymore, Soobin moves his feet to either side of him and out of his reach. He instinctively wraps his legs around Taehyun’s waist, criss crossing his ankles at the small of his back. In doing so, he pulls Taehyun down and on top of him.
OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! Soobin’s brain is screaming now but his foggy tired thoughts can’t pinpoint why.
He reaches up and wraps his arms around Taehyun's neck and holds on tight only pulling the two of them closer together as Taehyun struggles against his grip trying to stand up. Soobin just hangs there staring up for a second. And that’s Soobin’s second big mistake because now he's staring into the eyes of his strawberry haired shorter friend and it just might be the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. Taehyun’s brows are furrowed in concentration, his eyes are sparkling as if they contain a million stars and they're slightly crinkled as he flashes Soobin a secret smile. He's slightly out of breath, chest heaving into Soobin’s own and lips parted slightly. They look so soft and Soobin is vaguely aware that now is not the time to be daydreaming about closing the gap between those soft lips and his own or what could happen after that. And suddenly Soobin feels out of breath too, not from exertion but something else. He feels a blush starting to form on his cheeks running down through his entire body and there’s another feeling too, a small warmth growing in the pit of his stomach like a little ray of lightning contained in his abdomen.
HOLY FUCK! HOLY FUCK! FOLY HUCK! His screaming brain is back and buzzing, that is until his thoughts are silenced by Yeonjun calling out “You guys are close” in a teasing voice.
Soobin starts to wonder what that could possibly mean when he feels Taehyun escaping his death grip but he’s too weak to stop him this time and if he’s being honest he’s kind of glad he is because of what happens next.
Taehyun frees himself from Soobin’s arms successfully rolling both of them over once and then again and now he’s still on top of Soobin but the air around them has shifted in an almost imperceptible way. This time rather than jumping out of Soobin’s lap Taehyun drops himself into it firmly gripping his wrists with strong hands. Soobin’s eyes shoot wide open and a smile breaks across his face before he has a chance to contain it.
Soobin’s brain is doing its best to reprimand him, WHY DID YOU SMILE? YOU’RE LOSING?! But it seems Soobins body has decided to work solo from now on.
In his defense his body does attempt to put up a fight at least for the next few seconds. He's really trying to free his arms from Taehyun's grip but oh my god he can feel how his muscles are pushing against his suit jacket. Soobin is becoming even more distracted and the last of his resolve to win flies straight out the window when Taehyun speaks for the first time in what seems like ages but really was only a few minutes.
Taehyun looks down at Soobin, who up until now was still trying to peek at the underside of his opponent's sock, and back up towards the camera and mutters “I will just knock him out and take it.”
Soobin reacts without thinking again and this time instead of smiling he fully giggles, a pair of little laughs escaping before his mind can stop him.
His face burns with embarrassment, his ears turning a flushed pink. He can't even begin to understand why he was so excited by Taehyun’s words but what he does know is that the little flash of lightning that had been living in his lower stomach all along grew into a full storm almost immediately.
Now he's on edge and a little upset about his reaction to his best friend's words. In a weak fit of embarrassment he moves to sit up from under Taehyun but he's so flustered he no longer has the strength to resist and Taehyun easily pushes him back down by his shoulders.
In that moment Soobin’s biggest mistake of the day occurs and his brain and body are so overwhelmed that it's not surprising when he’s not the one that notices first.
The first to notice, tragically for Soobin, is Taehyun as he’s seated firmly on his lap. Soobin is aroused and it is very obvious from his growing hardness. All of which Taehyun can feel.
He looks down at Soobin but Soobin is making eye contact with the camera while smiling and his face reveals that he’s enjoying this, maybe more than the audience can pick up. Something clicks in Taehyun and his eyes darken as he stares down at the man beneath him. He's about to say something to Soobin when he decides to look up again, called back to reality by the noise of the other members around them.
The glance at the film set up is enough to snap Taehyun out of his thoughts and he quickly tries to continue the game ignoring everything else but his mission. He’s now slid up Soobin’s body no longer sitting on his lap but rather his chest trying to give the man under him a chance to save his pride. Sitting on his chest has let him pin Soobin’s arms down with his knees and he knows it’ll be next to impossible for the larger man to find a way out of their positions.
He all but whispers “Give up. Just give up” towards Soobin. He doesn’t really expect this to work but Soobin is staring up at him flushed, smiling from embarrassment, and breathless and he just wants this to be over.
Soobin has since stopped struggling or fighting back, becoming completely pliant in Taehyun’s grasp. He is no longer thinking about the game or Taehyun on top of him but rather internally screaming at himself to find a way to get away from the man on top of him because he has finally noticed his compromising situation and is beyond embarrassed. Embarrassed, he thinks, is an understatement because right now he wants the ground beneath him to open up and swallow him whole. He’s panicking so profusely he almost misses the others words but then they make some sort of sense in his jumbled brain and he lifts his leg. Surrendering to the man on top of him.
Taehyun reads out what the sock has written on it and he is declared the winner of the round. The members cheer and Taehyun celebrates with a little shout still sitting on Soobin. Finally free of the game Soobin flaps his hands at Taehyun’s thighs indicating for the man to get off him. Taehyun finally has mercy on Soobin and stands up, pulling Soobin off the ground as soon as he’s done so. They awkwardly hug and say good work to each other as is expected from good sports but Soobin quickly breaks away rushing towards his mic coordinator with the excuse of fixing his messed up mic pack. Taehyun does the same, fixing his own pack while waiting for the games to proceed neither knowing how or even if to address what happened a few minutes prior. As the winner Taehyun is back on the mat now with Yeonjun forcing him to stop thinking about Soobin too much but Soobin, having lost, is now sitting on the sidelines and Taehyun is all he can think about. Even though he knows it might be best to avoid thinking at all right now because he is internally melting down.
As Taehyun and Yeonjun begin their match Soobin wonders if he even has anything to worry about at all. He’s attempting to rationalize that maybe just maybe Taehyun had been too distracted with the game to notice his erection. After all he knew Taehyun was nothing if not competitive and that sometimes he could have a form of tunnel vision when he was focused on succeeding in something. Or maybe, god please let it be true, he had moved up to his chest before Soobin’s arousal became obvious. He wanted this one to be true so badly. After all, if Soobin himself didn’t notice right away would anyone else? But who was he kidding? Soobin was sure that Taehyun had noticed. There had definitely been a change in his face after the revelation and remembering it Soobin felt like he might cry.
He wasn't sure but he could swear that he saw the bright twinkle in Taehyun’s eyes dim and darken to something deeper. Something he could only assume was disgust. After all, who wants to be surprised by their best friend's erection in a crowded room of people and on camera? No one. And to make matters worse now Soobin’s thoughts were spiraling because how do you explain to your straight friend that you are not attracted to them (because he's definitely not attracted to Taehyun that would be crazy… right?) after something like this and that they have nothing to worry about.
Soobin knew that despite his joking personality Taehyun was a kind and understanding person but that did little to calm his pounding heart at the thought of having to explain his sexuality to the other man. Sexuality was never something they had really talked about, sure they all knew that some of the members were queer but the information was always given in clues and offhand comments never in a formal conversation. He did know that the other members had never expressed, even for a second, any signs of homophobia but he was still unsure if anyone knew he was even gay and if they hadn’t known before, would this change how they viewed him?
Soobin had been staring into his lap for a while now trying his best to hold back tears. As the match between Yeonjun and Taehyun came to an end he felt one roll down his cheek. Remembering the camera presence quickly he subtly wiped his face as if he was ridding himself of remaining sweat, internally begging that the camera had been more focused on the screaming display Beomgyu had put on and not on his somber realizations. He fixed his face into his best portrayal of calm and happy and refocused on the games.
Soobin is grateful that the rest of their time filming goes by pretty smoothly and before he knows it their managers are announcing that they are free to return to their dorm. He breathes out a sigh of relief running to change into his more comfortable sweats and hoodie. Once changed he runs towards their car beating the rest of his members to the large SUV. Usually he would opt for a seat in the second row of the car right behind the driver but today he just wants to shrink into a little ball and disappear so he walks to the furthest seat in the car all the way at the back. He won’t admit it if asked but his ulterior motive for moving to the back is the hope of avoiding Taehyun. The strawberry haired man had made it a habit to sit in the seat next to him between Soobin and Kai, and usually Soobin enjoyed having him close by but today Soobin did not think he had the strength to face whatever awkward conversation would come up between them.
Beomgyu makes it to the car next. He briefly eyes the fact that Soobin had stolen his usual seat but rather than mentioning it he simply slides into Soobin’s seat and pops his airpods in, likely too tired to argue. Soobin mentally thanks god for taking pity on him and allowing him to avoid the awkward explanation of his recent move. However, a few minutes later Soobin is prepared to retract his thanks to the heavens as he’s forced to watch silently as Taehyun walks up to the car, analyzes the change in seats and slides into the seat next to him placing his bag between his feet.
“WHY MEEE GOD!??” rings loudly through his mind.
He is half-considering finding an excuse to slide back out of the car and shift seats when he sees the last two members come up to the door. Yeonjun eyes his seat sassily and never one to hold his tongue when it comes to his wants he voices a question he probably doesn't realize is a bomb ready to explode. “Why are you in my seat Taehyun?”
Taehyun just smiles easily and nods towards Soobin. “Ask him, I just go where he goes.”
Soobin is taken aback. Despite his overthinking and racing mind he had failed to actually form a coherent excuse. And now his thoughts were reeling from Teahyun’s response because what did he mean by that?! Sure they were friends, best friends even, but they never agreed to sit together all the time. They didn’t sit together all the time. Why would he draw attention to him if the question had been posed to Taehyun?
Soobin is wrapped up in his own thoughts now but is drawn back into focus when he looks up to see four pairs of expectant eyes on him. He feels himself flush a pretty shade of pink before he finally squeaks out “Sorry, just didn't feel good.”
It's an awful excuse really. One that all the members turn an eyebrow up at as looks of mild concern cross their faces. Yeonjun’s eyes flit between Taehyun and Soobin and it seems like he can sense the nervous energy radiating around the car. He finally decides to leave the matter alone for the sake of preventing, from the looks of it, Soobin from passing away in his seat. He pushes Kai over into the middle seat next to Beomgyu loudly announcing that “Fine, it’s FINE but I’m NOT sitting in the middle seat.” Kai pushes him back but resigns himself to being smooshed into the seat regardless. With all of them loaded into the car they are finally ready to head home. Soobin breathes out a sigh of relief thinking that maybe this nightmare is finally over and in a few minutes he will be able to crawl deep under his covers and pretend today never happened.
He couldn’t have been more wrong.
***
The ride to the dorm seems longer than usual and agonizingly slow as they’re stuck in Seoul’s early evening traffic rush. Soobin has managed to all but melt himself into his seat, sliding down as low as he can and covering half his face with his hoodie avoiding all possible opportunities of being perceived. He is thankful that their usual loud and chaotic car ride has turned out to be relatively calm for once because he does not think he can handle existing for another second. When he peeks out from under his hood he sees that the three members in the front row seem to be focused on their phones or dead asleep already leaning against the car windows. He sucks in a breath and steels himself before turning his head slightly to the right to check on Taehyun.
He flicks his eyes up and immediately feels the breath get sucked from his lungs as if the entire weight of the universe has collapsed in on his trachea. Taehyun is looking down at him, an unreadable expression on his face. Soobin looks away quickly and lets out a choked cough but then, unable to hold himself back, curiously looks to the right again. He finds Taehyun unmoved with the same expression on his face. Something dark and intense that sends a shiver down Soobin’s spine despite the sweater and warm air of the car. Soobin tries to decipher what Taehyun’s face is revealing but he can hardly form a coherent thought taken aback by how beautiful the man before him looks so deep in thought.
Despite massively failing to even guess at what the younger man is thinking, two things become clear to Soobin. Taehyun noticed his earlier predicament and judging from his expression and slightly parted lips he is intent on talking about it, which is the last thing Soobin wants to do right now.
He breaks eye contact with the younger man as he feels the car finally come to a halt at their dorm. The other members start to pile out of the car. Yeonjun is already halfway to the door while Kai rouses Beomgyu from the depths of sleep. Beomgyu shoots up and out of the car and suddenly Soobin becomes painfully aware that he and Taehyun are alone and the man next to him shows no signs of getting up and out of the car anytime soon. Soobin’s palms start to sweat. He feels like he’s trapped in a cage and the tragic part is he picked his seat sealing his fate without knowing it. He needs to get out of here because despite shivering just a few minutes ago he swears now it feels like the pits of hell inside that car.
After a few moments of silence and still no movement from Taehyun Soobin decides he will simply climb his way out of the car if he must. Grabbing his backpack and tossing it into the row in front of him he starts inching towards the exit just past Taehyun. He still hasn’t moved. Soobin would be concerned for his friend if he wasn’t so preoccupied with his escape plan. He has now scootched up to Taehyun and there is still no movement from the younger so Soobin takes a deep breath and lifts one leg over the sitting man. Now standing with Taehyun between his legs, facing the younger, he takes another breath and goes to move his second leg over the man as he did with the first. It’s at that moment that Taehyun finally moves.
He reaches up to Soobin’s moving leg and holds it still. Soobin freezes immediately. He looks down at a head full of strawberry hair with confusion, heart pounding in his chest, a bead of sweat sliding down the prominent dip of his neck near his Adam's apple. The strawberry hair shifts and now Soobin is staring into a deep pair of brown eyes and they look so soft and inviting and sweet like tiny pools of chocolate. Soobin takes a breath to compose himself, reminding himself that he does not want to think about Taehyun right now, and goes to move his leg again, still set on attempting his not so sneaky exit. But Taehyun is having none of that. He reaches up again, this time holding onto Soobin’s waist with both hands and pulling down firmly, unceremoniously slamming the older man onto his thighs.
Soobin lands with an indignant gasp, that Teahyun can see escape his lips, and a deep flip of his stomach, which Taehyun thankfully can not see. As soon as he processes what just happened Soobin short-circuits for what feels like the hundredth time today.
Confusion is an understatement for what is currently going on in Soobins brain. He is struggling to process the actions of the smaller boy under him and that is not made any easier when he finally makes eye contact and realizes that, due to their position and the cramped car seats, their faces are only centimeters apart. So close together in fact that Soobin can feel Taehyun’s warm breath brush against his cheekbone and he swears he can smell the minty-watermelon gum the other had been chewing on since entering the car. Now Soobin is hyper-aware of every place on his body where he and Taehyun are currently connected. From his breath on his face to the firm thighs beneath his own even down to the way his ankle had subconsciously clung around Taehyun's own. He was also very aware of the way that despite being on top of the other man this time around Soobin still felt very small in his grasp. Soobin scolds himself internally wishing he hadn't thought about that as the realization made the little flash of lightning from earlier that day return to his lower abdomen sending an electric shock through all of his nerves.
He breathes in a shaky breath trying his hardest to hover over Taehyun’s lap instead, hoping to avoid an encore of his arousal’s debut.
The silence in the car feels deafening, making Soobin’s heart flutter in panic and his skin crawl. To make things worse his thighs are beginning to burn from trying to hover for what feels like ages. He needs to get out of there but Taehyun is still staring at Soobin as if for the first time, eyes wide and pupils blown open forming dark pools that seem to draw Soobin closer like a siren call to the deep abyss. Soobin feels himself relaxing into Taehyun's hold, sliding back into his lap. He knows he should do the exact opposite but something about the look on the younger’s face holds him there. He isn’t one to follow orders all the time but the strength behind Taehyun’s actions has Soobin aching to be good.
Taehyun is the first to speak. His voice comes out low, lower than Soobin has ever heard it before, and it takes a beat for him to process what has been said. He must have had a look of confusion plastered on his face because Taehyun smirks a little and repeats himself, speaking slowly to the blond.
“Binnie are you okay?” His tone is light, slightly mocking, despite how deep and quiet his voice is.
Soobin can't explain why but the teasing is having a visceral effect on him. He can’t see his face right now but he would bet money on the fact that his face and ears are beet red. It feels like his intestines are twisting and he feels a slight twitch between his legs. Soobin is very much not okay.
After a beat it seems he is able to regain control of his vocal cords and he chokes out a strangled “Fine just tired.”
Despite feeling like every nerve in his body is pulled taut and about to snap, Soobin still hasn’t moved off of Taehyun, a little too curious about what’s happening to force himself to run off like his mind is screaming for him to do.
Taehyun takes in the taller man's words, staring at him intently, eyes softening. He finally removes one of his hands from Soobin's waist and reaches it up to brush the hair out of his eyes, sliding his hand down the side of Soobin’s smooth cheek until he’s cupping the older man’s face. Soobin melts into the touch comforted by the softness of it.
Taehyun opens his mouth again and whispers into Soobin’s ear “That’s understandable, it must be draining getting your ass handed to you and having to pretend like you didn’t enjoy it.”
Soobin lets out a gasp, mind reeling with what he just heard and stomach twitching with interest again. So this confirms it, Taehyun noticed his erection and this was his confrontation.
Soobin immediately tensed and backed away, bumping into the seatback behind him. Taehyun leans forward placing his arms onto the seat Soobin was pressed against, caging him in. There’s something dark in his eyes again, so vastly different from the softness that had been there moments before. It takes every ounce of strength left in Soobin’s body to suppress the whimper that is begging to come out of his mouth.
Soobin can feel his heart in his throat, choking as he forms each word, but he manages to whisper back “Who says I was enjoying anything?”
Taehyun’s eyes flicker down to Soobins lap as he responds cockily “I don't need you to say it when I can feel just how much you were enjoying it.”
Soobin’s eyes trail down with Taehyun’s and the second he makes eye contact with his very present erection he feels like he’s going to burst into flames out of sheer embarrassment. How does one live down getting turned on by your straight best friend not once but twice in one day?
The simple answer, for Soobin, is you don’t. There is no level of friendship that could save Soobin at this point.
In that moment Soobin feels like crying and although he has plenty of reasons to cry he can’t pinpoint why he’s so overwhelmed just yet. Nevertheless, the tears start flowing. First one slips out of his squeezed shut eyes then another and soon enough they’re freely pouring down his face as he silently shakes still in Taehyun’s hold. He’s too scared to look at the other man but he’s comforted by the knowledge that at least Taehyun hasn’t pushed him away yet.
At this point Taehyun is hurriedly trying to comfort Soobin in any way he can. He’s whispering calming words into his ear while petting his hair but nothing seems to be working and Soobin is approaching hysterical levels of distress. Taehyun does the only thing left to do and grabs the older’s face in both his hands forcing the blond to make eye contact with him through his tears. Soobin shuts his eyes, refusing to make eye contact.
Taehyun coos at him and whispers softly, “Binnie look at me please.”
Soobin still has his eyes closed but he opens his mouth and hurriedly says “I’m so so so sorry Taehyun. I don’t have a good excuse or explanation and I understand if you don’t want us to be friends anymore. We can keep this professional so please don't let it affect the group. I would never forgive myself if it impacted them too.”
Taehyun is surprised at the word vomit that had just erupted from Soobin and at the fact that Soobin was still not understanding that Taehyun was not mad at him, quite the opposite in fact. In his surprise his hold on the seatback falters and Soobin takes the opportunity to finally make his escape before Taehyun has the chance to react let alone speak. He leaves his bag in the car abandoning everything as he rushes towards the dorm door still in tears.
Once he makes it through the front door he is no longer able to contain his audible sobs, making little sputtering noises that travel down the hall and into the living room and kitchen. He begs that no one is nearby as he starts walking towards the stairs that lead to the bedrooms. He’s about to make it to his room when he runs into Beomgyu knocking him with his shoulder. He mumbles an apology and moves to open his door but Beomgyu grabs a hold of his arm pulling him back. Soobin wipes at his face quickly trying, and failing, to conceal his tears but the other man has already noticed and Soobin knows he won’t let up until he knows if Soobin is okay. At that moment Soobin hears the front door click shut indicating that Taehyun had finally made it inside. Soobin looks towards the stairs quickly and makes a choice, grabbing Beomgyu’s hand and tugging him into his room, quickly locking the door behind them.
Soobin is still crying, although calmer than a few minutes ago. He takes a few breaths and rubs his face into his hoodie sleeve before making eye contact with the other man. Finally he whispers out “Can we talk?”
Beomgyu’s concern for his friend trumps his confusion so he reaches out and gives him a hug before responding. He feels Soobin deflate into his hold when he softly says “You can always talk to me about anything.”
***
Soobin spent the next hour rehashing the events of the day to Beomgyu who sat and listened patiently. At first he had felt worried that Beomgyu would judge him but all that flew out the window when he remembered that Beomgyu and Yeonjun had been stuck in a never ending flirtation since the day they met.
Now that he’s done talking they are both sitting in silence as he watches the wheels in Beomgyu’s brain spinning to process the new information.
It’s almost comical that the first words out of Beomgyu’s mouth to an anxious Soobin are “So you’re gay too?”
Soobin’s body is flooded with so much relief that he collapses from his place on the edge of the bed onto the floor and laughs out loud. Loud enough and long enough to be heard throughout the dorm. For the first time all day he doesn't feel quite so alone.
Soobin looks up at Beomgyu who had joined him in laughing and questions him, “You’re gay?? I mean I had my suspicions seeing you with Yeonjun but I didn’t know for sure.”
A look of shock crosses Beomgyu’s face. “YOU DIDN’T KNOW I WAS GAY?”
Soobin fiddles with the edge of the comforter while responding a little sheepishly, “Well, we never talk about this stuff and I didn’t want to assume so…”
Beomgyu hits his head onto the wall dramatically, “Damn, did I forget to come out to you guys? I could’ve sworn I did.”
Soobin lets out another laugh shaking his head, “I would remember if you had because I’ve been terrified that i'm the only non-straight in this dorm”
“I promise you you’re not, at least half of us are, maybe even more” Beomgyu says reassuringly.
Soobin had just opened his mouth to ask who else Beomgyu meant by that when there was a tentative knock on the door.
Both Soobin and Beomgyu looked towards the door, Soobin nearly jumping out of his skin. He hoped beyond hope that it was not who he thought it was behind that door. Before Soobin had a chance to act Beomgyu called out yelling, “Who is ittt?”
Soobin held back the urge to slap him as he heard Taehyun’s unmistakable voice, muffled by the door, respond. “Just wanted to bring Binnie his bag and maybe talk to him for a second” Taehyun called out.
Beomgyu raised an eyebrow at the nickname, they all had nicknames for each other but they were usually teasing. This sounded a lot more affectionate.
He looked over at Soobin. Who was back to staring at his lap trying to melt into the carpet beneath him. Taehyun knew that if he didn’t intervene Soobin would never face the situation. So instead of just observing he called out “Give us a minute” towards the door and moved to crouch next to Soobin.
Soobin looked up in distress at the response, quickly dropping his voice to a whisper-yell exclaiming “I’m not ready to talk to him” a little edge in his voice.
Beomgyu held out his hands towards Soobin, firmly gripping his legs. “I know you feel like this is the end of the world right now but please trust me things are not always as they seem. It’s better to talk out the situation now then let it become a bigger issue later on. I know it feels painful but I think you both need answers from each other.”
Soobin sighed, he knew Beomgyu was right. It would be better to know where he stood now rather than letting this issue fester. But the knowledge of the right thing to do did not stop his chest from constricting or the tears from rushing to his eyes as he leaned in and whispered the question he had been dreading the answer to all day, “What if he hates me?”
The smaller man squeezed Soobin’s hands reassuringly, before saying “It’s Taehyun, he wouldn’t hate you in this life or the next.”
The blond looked at the ceiling with a pained expression and whispered, almost inaudibly, “I just wish he was gay.”
He gave Soobin’s hand a last squeeze and said, “Just hear him out, people can surprise you. Come find me if you need anything but please at least give Taehyun a chance to speak.” With that he walked towards the door, flipping the lock, and walking out into the hall leaving Soobin alone for a few seconds.
Soobin’s brain now rang with the realization of his last words. He wishes Taehyun was gay.