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“I used Corruption because I trusted you.”
“You better.. take me to the extraction point.”
The world went black.
“You got it, partner.”
He could still faintly hear it.
Chuuya heard the faint chants of Arahabaki, swarming in his dreamless slumber. No dreams only meant trouble, since he was left in the void world that was his own mind. The reality- not some alternate world made up to bring him comfort.
It was dark, like the bottom of the ocean as light swarmed faintly, distantly above him. There were sudden sounds, like a creature crying out.
Chuuya knew who it was.
Arahabaki loved to take different shapes to torment him, to play with his mind and deteriorate his sanity and last hope that he is human. It fucked with Chuuya as a reminder of who he truly is- inhumane. Just a clone, strings of code tied together to create the entity that Chuuya was.
Chuuya heard the cries get closer as he looked away from the nonexistent sky. If he had his ability, he would fly up- just to see what was up there.
A shadowy figure stood before Chuuya, body taking a static form that would’ve otherwise been invisible- if not for Chuuya’s familiarity.
It stared blankly, not that Chuuya had any inhibition of what its face looked like.
The cries continued- loudly and hurting his ears.
Neither of them spoke. Chuuya waited for the memories to flood him, a cruel way of torture by making him relive the things he hated the most.
Arahabaki said nothing as its head tilted, Chuuya felt more than saw a ghostly figure creep up behind him. All too familiar- he could’ve recognized Dazai from anywhere, time apart from each other be damned.
He whispered something into Chuuya’s ear, something the redhead never recognized over the sounds of Arahabaki’s wails. They echoed throughout the void. Distinct yet so far.
Arahabaki stalked closer, closer than it had ever gotten to Chuuya. The redhead tried to back away but fell over, the ‘Dazai’ who had once stood there now gone. He looked at the god, as it stalked closer. Too close, the cries were so loud- screaming in his ears- Chuuya felt the overwhelming torment. He covered his ears, trying to stop sound from entering as Arahabaki got closer.
And all of a sudden he shot up- panting heavily and letting out a shout. Chuuya held a hand close to his chest and calmed his breathing, immediately becoming too overly aware of the setting. It was unfamiliar. He didn’t know where he was.
Dammit- Dazai. He thought with bitterness.
Chuuya collected himself a moment later, hearing the faint shuffling come from his right. He looked over, seeing a small boy sitting on his legs, looking at him with shining- all black eyes. They were like voids, sucking Chuuya in.
He faintly remembered the chamber that was his mind- such a similar color. Such a familiar emptiness. But Chuuya forced himself to stay focused on reality.
The other boy, who had a book open on his lap and was now aware of the stare Chuuya was returning, began to speak after picking up on the queue.
“You’re awake.” He said. Chuuya’s eyebrows knitted together, staring questioningly at the boy. He paused, looking around the room and scoping the area before responding a moment later.
“I am.” He said slowly, unsure of how to approach this situation.
“You must be confused. Ah-” He perked up, slowly putting the pieces of what he was supposed to say in his mind. Chuuya took notice of the focused expression on his face as he muttered to himself. “Dad went to get some ingredients for food. He should be back home soon.”
Dad?
Chuuya didn’t realize his confused expression was so obvious until the boy nodded.
“My dad, Dazai.” He said, smiling softly, proudly.
Oh holy shit.
Chuuya blinked wildly at that information. Dazai? A fucking dad? There was no way. Was this kid biological or did he pick him up? He looked kind of similar- No, not the right face shape, or eyes either.
The boy just smiled with his teeth, genuinely happy with the presence of Chuuya.
“You’re Chuuya, right? I heard a lot about you!” He closed the book and put it aside, crawling closer to sit right by Chuuya. The redhead made no effort to move but welcomed the boy into his space. “Dad talks about you a lot. I always wanted to meet you, but he said it probably wouldn’t happen.” The boy"s face twisted into disappointment, Chuuya just stared and said nothing.
“Oh! Right, my name. I’m Mono!” He said, reaching his hand out. Chuuya’s entire body was still sore- muscles screaming at him in agony. But the redhead still reached out to grab the boy- Mono’s- hand. The small smile grew, and he looked around. “You should lie down. Dad said you’ll be tired.”
“Why are you lookin’ after me?” Chuuya asked as he gladly laid down against the futon again. Mono brushed some of his wild brown hair out of his face.
“I thought I told you.” He said, more to himself. “Dad went to get some stuff at the store for you. He didn’t think you would wake up but he didn’t want you alone. Not that he doesn’t trust you- he just wanted to make sure you were safe.” Chuuya just sighed and nodded.
“I’m surprised you’re still alive under his care- Is he actually a good dad?” Chuuya asked, looking at Mono. The boy was now peering over his face, staring directly down with those two voids again. If he actually had proper irises and pupils, he would be looking at Chuuya with starry eyes and absolute wonder. It was strange to be under such a scrutinizing gaze, it was so different yet so similar to Dazai that Chuuya knew, somewhere in his heart- that Dazai raised this boy. Mono smiled at the question.
“Of course he is!” He was so proud, he seemed to be so happy about Dazai being his dad that Chuuya felt a pang in his heart. The words ‘Dazai’ and ‘Good father’ didn’t really mix phenomenally in his mind, but he never got to see what it felt like leaving his tongue as he opted to hum in response. “He took me in after I got out of that room. He looked after me when I was left alone again. I’m happy here, I’ll pick his side rather than that room if I ever had to decide.” Mono said, his smile morphing into something a bit more reminiscent, a bit more sad. Chuuya just looked, still not saying a word as the boy stopped and just smiled.
“Ah- right! Dad talks about you so much, it’s kind of funny!” He started, Chuuya had honestly forgotten about that part. He was worried what kind of bullshit Dazai was spewing out to this kid- and how much he would have to correct. “He was worried you wouldn’t want anything to do with him, he seemed scared when he carried you home!”
Oh. That-
Chuuya stared disbelievingly at Mono.
That’s not what he expected at all.
“Why-” Chuuya stuttered, unable to figure out what words he wanted to say.
“I don’t know why! I just know he was upset about leaving you and thought you hated him. You don’t hate him, do you?” Mono inquired, seemingly worried about Chuuya denying and saying that he did- in fact- hate Dazai for the shit he pulled four years ago.
Chuuya couldn’t bring himself to answer that.
“When did he take you in?” He opted to ask instead, changing the subject. The boy seemed to have a short enough attention span that he wouldn’t bother to keep talking about Chuuya’s opinion of his father.
It felt weird calling Dazai a dad.
“He took me in when he was 18! I was 7, I think?” So after he left the mafia . Chuuya thought to himself. “I was so scared he would throw me out or hurt me, but he didn’t question anything. He just took me in. It was awkward at first because I didn’t like to talk and he seemed unsure of how to raise a kid- but he did the best he could!”
Dazai willingly taking someone in wasn’t like him, not in the slightest.
Apparently Mono figured out what he was thinking pretty quickly.
“He took me in despite everything because his dad, Odasaku, died.” Mono said softly. Chuuya blinked, the name not ringing a bell in his head. The use of father seemed to be important- Dazai didn’t consider anyone family, nevertheless friends. “Do you have a family?” Mono asked.
The flags flashed in Chuuya’s mind. He hadn’t told anyone about them since their death, since Verlaine. He thought about denying it, but Mono didn’t seem like he was in any place to use that information against him. Even if he did, Chuuya could easily overpower him.
“I did.”
“‘Did’?”
“They died when I was 16. I guess it’s similar to Dazai’s story.” Chuuya said, not giving away any reactions. The topic was no longer an open sore, it had long since healed over. Talking about it was painful- but Chuuya was able to brush over it with no emotion. Mono frowned.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. You’re upset now.”
“No- it’s fine kid.” Chuuya sighed, “You were curious, I’ve moved on.” He was lying. Mono seemed to believe him.
“Alright.” Mono perked up again, light shining in his dark eyes. “Dad really likes you! If it wasn’t obvious from him talking about you constantly. Sometimes he gets all red when he’s telling me stories. He once said you were really pre-”
Mono’s ramblings got interrupted by the door opening. His eyes widened from excitement as he turned to look at Chuuya and grab his arm softly. The door closed softly, deliberately silent as the sound of socked feet padded over into the other room.
“Mono-chan!” Came the grating voice from an all too familiar man, singing the younger boy"s name.
Dazai’s mop of brown hair showed up a second later.
“Hi Dad!” Mono cheered, waving at Dazai. The other man"s eyes softened and his lips quirked up into a small, genuine smile. He then looked at Chuuya, noticing the other was awake.
“Ah- Chuuya.” He said, face going blank yet still somewhat startled as he walked over to the futon and crouched down. He put the back of his hand over Chuuya’s forehead softly to check for fever after he sat the plastic bags down. Once satisfied with Chuuya’s lack of sickness, he rested his elbows on his knees and turned to look at Mono.
“I got the ingredients we need to make that soup- you remember how to make it, right Mono?” Dazai asked, smiling at the other brunet. Mono nodded ferociously, making sure his answer was definitive. Dazai just chuckled softly and nodded. “Take these and start making it, I’ll be in to help you after I talk with Chuuya- alright?” Mono took the bag, making sure to not lose his balance as he got up and skipped over to the kitchen, just barely out of sight. Dazai hummed as he looked back.
“Didn’t expect you to wake up when I was gone.” He sighed. Chuuya just looked at the bandaged man.
“Didn’t expect to wake up in your shithole of an apartment.” Chuuya groaned, pulling himself up to sit eye-to-eye with Dazai. The other just hummed in response. “I told you to take me to the extraction point, dammit.”
Dazai just smiled, noncommittal as he shrugged. A few moments passed in silence before he responded.
“I didn’t trust you alone in that state.”
“Which is why you were supposed to take me to that point- so I could get proper medical help.”
“You think I would trust Mori? No.” Dazai shook his head, eyebrows quirking together, displeased. “You haven’t used Corruption in four years. I don’t know what damage it did to your body and I don’t trust anyone else with you in such a state.” Chuuya said nothing, looking away from Dazai’s gaze. It was too similar to Mono’s, too similar to the one Chuuya saw years ago with one eye. Dazai noticed Chuuya’s uncertainty and looked down.
“I didn’t know you took in a kid.” Chuuya said, trying to change the conversation. Dazai perked up again, both of them looking at the kitchen. Dazai chuckled.
“He just came into my life, I think he really left a big impact on me.” The brunet said with complete honesty. “I’m guessing Mono told you about Odasaku.”
Chuuya, not trusting his voice, just nodded.
Dazai just blinked and sighed, tilting his head up.
“I never understood why the Flags dying made you so passionate about killing Verlaine. I never understood how family could impact you that much. I already knew Odasaku at that point, but he wasn’t-” Dazai seemed unsure about how to continue. “-He wasn’t that kind of person in my life.” Dazai reached out tentatively, grabbing Chuuya’s hand with a softness that the redhead was completely unprepared for. “He raised me like he did with all of those orphans he picked up. They taught me a lot of things- things I didn’t think I would use until he died and I was left alone- not until Mono came through my TV and so desperately needed someone to care for him.”
Chuuya leaned forward, letting himself rest his head onto Dazai’s collarbone, curled between his shoulder and neck as Dazai’s ability nullified his own. He hummed as a response, signifying the other to continue talking. Dazai ran a hand through Chuuya’s hair, slowly, uncertainly. It was weird- so fucking weird- to see the man like this. So open, so honest.
“Odasaku told me to be a better man. To save some kids. He knew the side I was on didn’t matter, but he told me to make the better choice for others, not myself.” Dazai whispered. “Mono came into my life so early on after leaving that I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t leave him after I made the promise so soon , but I didn’t think I was ready to care for someone so fragile and hurt.”
“He reminded me of you, Chuuya. Hurt and abandoned. I couldn’t leave him after I knew I left you.”
“So you took him in.” Chuuya finished Dazai’s sentence. “You raised him to learn how to be a better man and fulfill Oda’s promise.” He felt the brunets nod.
“I did.”
Chuuya looked back at the kitchen, where Mono- Dazai’s child was cooking. He remembered Mono’s face, how happy he was to talk about Dazai. It felt wrong for the Dazai he once knew, but it wasn’t the same person. Not anymore.
Chuuya knew Dazai hadn’t failed him like he worried he had. They both thought of Akutagawa, but that was another conversation for another time- preferably with the raven haired man present.
“Personally- for what it’s worth,” Chuuya mumbled, leaning back to make eye contact with Dazai. “You did a good job.”
Dazai just blinked owlishly at him. His face flushed for a moment before he turned away and coughed. Standing up and looking back a second later.
“I- I’m gonna help Mono cook.” He said, making eye contact with Chuuya again. He paused, looking away before turning back and smiling so genuinely it didn’t even feel real or legal for Chuuya to actually see it. “Thanks- for that.”
Chuuya just nodded.
Dazai walked into the kitchen. Chuuya let himself fall back into the futon, staring blankly at the ceiling and listening to the sounds of soft talking and occasional laughter from the two brunettes in the next room over. Chuuya smiled softly, closing his eyes and falling asleep again- just for a moment longer.
When he woke up again, it was by Dazai’s hand slightly shaking his shoulder, singing “Chibi~” in his annoying sing-song voice. Mono was already eating some soup at the edge of the futon, Dazai held two bowls in his hands. When Chuuya was conscious enough, Dazai handed him one.
“If you want another one just tell me. We have more.” Chuuya just nodded, staring at the soup for a second. It looked like it was edible, but he wasn’t sure if he actually trusted it too much. Mono seemed to be… well, not dead… but Chuuya didn’t really believe that the kid was too familiar with good foods, considering his story seemed a bit strange.
Chuuya just sighed, preparing for death as he ate the soup.
It was surprisingly good. Shocking considering Dazai had been the one working on it.
He ate the bowl in record time- it was just because he was hungry. It had nothing to do with Dazai’s cooking abilities.
At least that’s what he told himself.
Chuuya watched as Dazai tried to stop Mono from eating too fast, grabbing his bowl and lifting it up in the sky as the little boy tried to climb up and grab it back. Both of them were laughing. Chuuya felt a smile creep onto his face.
They talked for the next hour or so as the sun set into the sky, painting the city in an orange hue. Mono had clearly grown tired and was blinking slowly to stay awake. Dazai just laughed at the younger boy before picking him up.
“It’s time to sleep, tiny Chibi.” Dazai practically cooed, poking Mono’s cheek. The little boy let out a soft ‘Noooo’ as Dazai carried him into another room. About five minutes later he came back.
“Put him to bed?”
“Closest I can get.” Dazai snickered. “He’s quite nosy when he wants. Always trying to hear what I’m saying or figure out what I’m up to.”
“Does the agency- y’know-”
“No.” Dazai cut Chuuya off stoically. He was staring blankly down at his hands. “You’re the only person who knows about him.”
Chuuya’s eyes widened as he just nodded, unsure of how to process that.
“Why me?” He asked, so silently he was surprised Dazai heard him.
“Because I trust you Chibi, I thought that was obvious.” He said. “I don’t trust the Agency knowing because that puts him at risk- if someone knew about him as a weakness of mine they would just use it. I can’t let them hurt him.”
“You’ve changed.” The redhead blurted out mindlessly. He shut his mouth and looked away when the gravity of his words hit. Dazai just looked at him, just as surprised as Chuuya was moments before.
“Really?”
Ah- No getting out of this now.
“Yeah.”
“Hmmm~, Chibi changed a bit too since we last saw each other.” Dazai said, smiling and leaning closer, running a hand through the long hair falling down Chuuya’s shoulder. The other scoffed playfully but said nothing as Dazai ran careful hands through orange locks. Silence fell over the two like a blanket, both of them were happy to sit in that moment and let it prolong for a few minutes longer.
“I missed you.” Dazai whispered. “I wouldn’t have been able to say it four years ago, but I can now.”
Chuuya looked at Dazai and smiled, wrapping his arms around Dazai’s chest and pulling him in.
“You’re so stupid.” I missed you too.
“Yes, yes. Whatever my dog says.” Thank you.
“Not your dog, dammit!” Chuuya yelped, trying to be mindful of Mono still asleep in the other room. Dazai just snickered and pushed Chuuya to lie down, he curled up under the covers a few moments later.
“It’s a good thing Chuuya’s so strong, nobody could use him as bait for me.”
“The fuck does that mean, asshole?” Chuuya inquired, staring at Dazai in the now dark bedroom.
“It means that Chuuya is just as important to me as Mono-chan is.” Dazai snickered, wrapping his arms around Chuuya’s waist and pulling him in to rest against Dazai’s chest. The other sighed in resignation and just leaned into the touch. Content about having No Longer Human silence Arahabaki again.
“Sure.” He said, almost disbelievingly. Dazai just huffed and curled closer to Chuuya, mindful of the others" still aching body.
“Goodnight Chuuya.” Dazai said, not continuing the topic any more.
“Goodnight Dazai.” Chuuya muttered.
Arahabaki was silent that night.
When he woke up again, it was because Mono was bored enough that he wanted to bother Dazai, poking him until the other man swatted him away- forgetting that Chuuya was also there and their limbs were in a giant, messy tangle- effectively waking Chuuya up when he got more or less thrown across the futon. He would yap at Dazai, and the other would deny all responsibility, but it was fine. It was different, but not bad in the slightest.