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☾
They meet on a cherry blossom day.
She’s accompanying her father on one of his longer trade routes. As the eldest, she’ll be the one to inherit her father’s merchant business one day so any time her studies and her grandmother permits it, he takes her with him on his travels to show her the ropes. He tells her about the price of sealskin and polar bear pelts they trade in other kingdoms and the types of resources from other parts of the world that are a great help to their village back home.
He teaches her about the respect and openness needed when trading and speaking to people from other cultures, and how everyone they come across must always be treated with respect and dignity, especially now during a time of uncertainty between Avatars, the world waiting to see who would follow Avatar Roku.
Still, the tense grip her father has on her hand as they walk through the Imperial City is enough to give her pause, and she feels she can’t be blamed for the way she grips the neck of her water skins where they’re strapped to her hips.
It’s a lot warmer in the Fire Nation than at the North Pole, she can feel the sting of the sun against the skin of her arms where she’d rucked up her sleeves because they were too long for this type of weather. Her father grins down at her.
“Different, huh?”
Moon Byulyi nods. Trying to take it all in. The deep reds, browns, and golds of Fire Nation architecture, the smell of sharper spices in the market air, Fire Nation children with toys that are like nothing she’s ever seen.
“I guess I’m gonna have to get used to it if I’m gonna be like you!” She says to her father. He just smiles at her, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. His grip on her hand grows a bit tighter.
Their destination is a house near the edge of the marketplace. The Head of the Merchant Guild’s home. It’s larger than the surrounding buildings, and when they’re let in at the gate, it’s to the sight of lush gardens that weave around turtleduck ponds that are decorated with firelily pads. There’s a thin man waiting at the edge of the gardens, a mysterious grin on his face as he bows low before her and her father.
“Welcome Lord Moon,” the man says.
Byul follows her father’s lead and bows in return. “Lord Kim,” her father replies, “It is good to meet you in person at last, and you remember we have no Lords in the Northern Water Tribe. I am just the Head Merchant of my village, the same as you.”
“Yes,” Lord Kim says, his grin remaining firmly in place. “Sorry. Slipped my mind, we’ve been so busy with the move you see.”
“Of course. Congratulations on your newly assigned post.”
Byulyi starts to zone out here. There are many things she loves about the life of a merchant, however, aimless small talk is not one of them. She lets her gaze roam around the gardens. They don’t get much greenery at the North Pole. Or rather, they never do, except for the occasional arctic poppy and cotton grass every now and then. Which is why she still can’t quite get over the sight of the gardens. Bonsais as tall as her youngest sister on carved stone pedestals. Flowering cherry blossom trees with their petals drifting gracefully along with the warm summer breeze. Fireberry bushes with eyes that–
Byulyi does a double take. She was certain the fireberry bush nearest the artificial pond had been staring at her. With human eyes. She blinks but it’s just a normal bush. However, the bonsai tree a few feet away suddenly shakes as if it’s been jostled. Then the aspen plant near that loses a few leaves.
Plant by plant, Byulyi tracks the movement, hand on the cork of her waterskins ready to fend off whoever is trying to–
“Yongsun!”
Lord Kim’s voice cuts through the silence in the garden like a knife. A few of the turtleducks squawk indignantly from where they were napping in the ponds. Suddenly, from behind one of the larger tea-leafed willows, a small girl emerges, the two braids that run down her shoulders have cherry blossom petals and twigs in them. She looks more than a little shame-faced as she quickly walks to Lord Kim’s side and takes a deep bow.
She’s pretty. Byul thinks.
“You must forgive my youngest,” Lord Kim says, placing a hand on his daughter’s shoulder, “This is her first time in the Imperial City, so she’s just a little excited.”
As if on cue, the hem of Kim Yongsun’s dress suddenly catches fire. She yelps, crouching down to try and put out the flames, but they only seem to grow stronger. There’s a panicked look in the poor girl’s eyes but her fingers aren’t even burning and—oh. Byul realizes with a start. She’s a firebender.
“Yongsun,” Lord Kim hisses, “control yourself please.”
“I’m trying!” The girl wails, her panic making the flames grow larger. Byul can feel her father tense beside and the frazzled look on the other girl’s face clenches at her a bit so she acts on instinct. She reaches out for the water from the turleduck pond and smoothly directs it towards the burning fabric, dowsing it out in one swift motion before guiding the water back to where the frightened turtleducks are having a field day.
Both Kim Yongsun and Lord Kim stare at her in shock. There’s a stiff silence that suddenly hangs heavy in the air.
“Ah,” Byul’s father chuckles, using that tone he takes when his wife gets upset at him for forgetting the fish at the marketplace, “You must forgive my oldest,” he says sheepishly, patting Byul’s arm, “she was just trying to help.”
“Yes.” Lord Kim says although the smile is gone from his face now. “Perhaps we should conduct our business indoors?” He turns to walk deeper into the house, not bothering to check if Byul’s father is even following after him.
Her father levels her with a look that says behave before following after, leaving Byul and the youngest Kim daughter out in the gardens.
The silence lasts for two beats too long before Byul notices the large hole in Kim Yongsun’s skirt, just below her knee, where the fire had ruined it. It had been a pretty dress. “Too bad about your dress,” Byul says out loud.
Kim Yongsun looks back at her with wide eyes, before her mouth curls into a frown. “I had it under control,” she says indignantly.
Byul blinks, not expecting that kind of response. So she responds in kind. “No, you didn’t.”
“Yes, I did!”
“I was just trying to help!” she points out, which must be the wrong thing to say for some reason because the frown on the other girl’s face morphs into a real glare.
“Well. I didn’t ask for it! Now my father’s going to get mad at me later and it’s all your fault!”
Byulyi tries to remember everything her father taught her about treating people of other cultures with respect, but at ten years old, the most she can muster is contempt for this little Fire Nation girl who surely can’t be older than her.
“Fine, next time I won't help you!”
“Fine!” Kim Yongsun stalks off inside the house. To go change skirts probably, and Byul is left to her own devices for the rest of the visit. She ends up spending it by the pond, creating little water orbs that float around for the turtleducks to peck at.
When she and her father finally leave, she spares a final glance at the large house and its well-manicured gardens. On one of the upper balconies, she thinks she can spot a small figure with braids running back inside the house, but it’s too high up to tell.
☀
There was a period of a few weeks when Yongsun wasn’t even sure she would have been allowed to go on this trip. Her mother had begged her for hours to stay back at the Imperial City where it was safe. For the last month, the Fire Lord and his ministers have been warning the Guild Heads about unrest in the other nations. That the people of the Fire Nation are more likely to be held captive for ransom than treated with any modicum of civility, and the mistrust that spread across the citizens was faster than wildfire. But she isn’t the type to scare easily, and at the age of fourteen, Kim Yongsun is confident enough in her firebending skills that she insists on going anyway.
The truth is, she’s never been outside of the Fire Nation, and even with her family’s money, the farthest she’s been is Ma’inka Island. The chance to travel with her father to visit his trade partners across the four kingdoms was too tempting to pass up.
The Northern Water Tribe is the last leg of their journey before they sail back home, and although she’s missing her mother and her sister, the curiosity to see places she’s never been before holds out. Right before they reach the edge of Agna Qel’a’s waters, her father pulls her aside.
“Before we dock I want you to–”
“Stay with the guards,” Yongsun finishes the sentence for the umpteenth time on that trip. This is the one downside to the trip. With every new city they visit, she is made acutely aware of the distrustful looks their entire retinue receives. At any given moment one of her father’s guards was never more than a few feet away from her.
Her father pats her shoulder in approval. “Wouldn’t want you to get kidnapped by peasants.”
Yongsun just nods, suddenly a little bit more homesick than before.
When they reach Agna Qel’a, Yongsun immediately feels the excitement flutter in her chest again. The entire city is made of ice, from the buildings to the giant arch that makes up the entrance to the great port. She pulls her coat a little tighter around her, unsure if the shiver running through her spine is from the chill or the excitement.
When they disembark their ship, they’re immediately met at the pier by a familiar-looking man. Yongsun can’t quite place where she’s seen him before until she sees the teenage girl beside him.
It’s been a little over three years but she still remembers the imperious water bender who had embarrassed her at her home. She tries to be polite and put the past behind her, going for a brief nod, but the other girl’s expression remains guarded and there are the beginnings of a glare pulling at the space between her eyebrows.
Yong frowns back.
“Head Merchant Moon,” her father says. He doesn’t bow.
“Lord Kim.” The Head Merchant says, his voice clipped and more than a little gruff. He doesn’t bow either.
“This is quite the welcome.” Her father’s words come out in a puff of fog around his lips. “Is the city so large that we require a private escort to your home?”
“I thought it best to conduct our business here.” Head Merchant Moon replies, gesturing towards where a large dome of ice with a few waterbender guards stationed.
Her father’s smile immediately vanishes. “I see.” He follows the head merchant to the ice dome, leaving Yongsun and her guards behind with the waterbender.
There are a few minutes of awkward silence where Yongsun kind of wishes she never got off the ship in the first place. She can’t even walk around as she did in the other villages. In front of her, the water bender girl remains as imperious as she remembers.
Finally, she can’t stand it anymore. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Yongsun says, crossing her arms in front of her chest.
The water bender girl scoffs. “I’m standing guard.”
“Against what?”
“A fire bender.”
Yong bristles, her eyes narrowing. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me.”
“Well I–” Yong sputters, indignant, “I should be the one standing guard against you, everyone knows the other nations are just jumping at the chance to kidnap a Fire Nation citizen and get information from them.”
The water nation girl barks out a quick ‘Ha!’ the corners of her mouth turning up in a sneer. “Is that what they’re telling you at the Imperial City?”
Yong doesn’t reply. Not wanting to give this girl satisfaction. She feels the fire within her lick at her fingertips, yearning to break free. She’s gotten a lot better at controlling herself over the years.
“What’s your name?” She demands.
The water bender scoffs again and it’s really starting to get on Yongsun’s nerves. “Figures you wouldn’t even remember my name.”
“I bet you don’t even know mine!”
“You’re Kim Yongsun.” The water bender doesn’t even hesitate. There’s a smug grin on her face that Yong immediately wants to smack off.
She feels frustrated and angry and Yong hates that this is going to be her last memory of this trip. Still, she holds her head up high, refusing to let this waterbender girl get the better of her.
“Didn’t your parents ever teach you to be respectful to guests?”
At that, the other girl’s glare deepens.
“That’s rich coming from a soon-to-be invader.”
Yongsun feels her jaw drop open. “A–what?”
“Do you deny it?” The water bender girl demands, her hands clenched into fists. “That’s what everyone says. That the Fire Nation is just waiting for the perfect time to strike and invade all the other kingdoms. Your Fire Lord already claimed the Water Tribes' Sacred Island years ago and now here you are. Chief Skiri warned us this would happen.”
The water bender girl’s stance widens into something more combative. “That’s why you’re here isn’t it? To get intel on the rest of us? Find out our weaknesses?”
Yong hears more than feels the guards behind her get into defensive positions of their own. “No, I–”
At that moment, her father emerges from the ice dome, a deep frown set on his face.
“Yongsun.” He barks, “We’re leaving.”
She turns to glare at the water bender girl again. “You’re wrong. And I hope you know your family just caused the Northern Water tribe a great trading partner.”
The water bender rolls her eyes. “That’s the least of our worries.”
Yongsun turns to leave, as she’s boarding their ship, she hears a yell behind her.
“My name is Moon Byulyi!”
She ignores it.
Throughout the rest of their trip home, her father is in a foul mood, and he keeps to his rooms more often than when they had left. It doesn’t help to ease the sudden heavy feeling Yongsun has in her gut
—
A month later, she wakes up to a loud clamor outside her bedroom window. There’s cheering in the streets and the Fire Lord’s messenger is proclaiming the great news:
That Fire Lord Sozin has begun his righteous conquest into expanding the might of the Fire Nation across the world.
Yongsun feels the heavyweight in her gut from before, and even though they’re in the midst of the Summer Solstice, she feels as cold as she did that day in the Northern Water tribe.
☾
The Earth Kingdom is so large that Byul firmly believes it will take two of her lifetimes before she can actually properly navigate the entire continent without getting lost. The mountainous regions are pretty okay, but the swamp.
The swamps she loathes with a passion that could rival her hatred of the Fire Nation.
It’s the humidity. It makes her feel sticky and sweaty all the time and the brackish water leaves a stench that sticks to her clothes no matter how many times she tries to wash them out. Not to mention the mosquitoes. They’re the worst.
Still, this is what she signed up for. There is a Fire Nation troop that set up their outpost in the next town over and she’s passing through this village in order to gain intel there and report back.
Admittedly, Byul would much rather be part of the Northern Water Tribe’s naval fleet, but her father had refused to give up on that quarter so here she was.
She walks through the small row of stalls that makes up the village’s only marketplace and plays pretend at looking over a vendor’s selection of overripe fruit. Really she’s keeping a group of Fire Nation soldiers within her peripherals, listening to their banter as they too complain about the weather.
Byul smiles at the vendor to keep up the pretense, and hands over a few coins in exchange for a small basket of moon peaches. She’s about to move on to a different stall, nearer where the soldiers are when she sees it.
Or rather, Her.
It’s been six years, but she would recognize Kim Yongsun anywhere. Even if she’s lost a lot of the baby fat from youth, there’s no mistaking the roundness in her cheeks and that wide-eyed look that Byul remembers from the two times they’ve interacted.
She’s wearing a simple tunic in Earth Kingdom colors, but that means nothing these days. Even Byul is clothed in shades of green and cream right now. Any spy worth their salt knows to at least blend in wherever in the world they are. Which is what gets that slow curdle of anger started deep in her chest.
Fire Nation soldiers temporarily forgotten, she follows Kim Yongsun as she walks amongst the stalls. For some reason she seems to know everyone in the small village, moving from one stall to the next to talk to every single vendor, receiving pieces of fruit or small loaves of bread from them, stopping to smile at the Earth Kingdom children that are playing between stalls. Once she leaves the marketplace, Byul follows as she makes for the swamp, probably to report back to her father, or the General in the next village.
Well, she may not be out on the front lines, but Byul believes she can certainly stop this.
She waits until they're deep enough in the swamp that no one from either village can hear or see them. Then–
“Hey, Invader!”
Kim Yongsun whirls around just in time for Byul to hit her with a wave of muddy swamp water. She walks over to the other girl as she’s coughing up swamp water, ready to tie her up and bring her to her base’s headquarters when Kim Yongsun sweeps a leg out in a smooth and fluid motion, an arc of fire sweeping out towards Byul’s feet.
She bares her teeth, pulling up the swamp water in a protective wall before bringing it out in a single stream to grab the firebender by the legs.
The other girl is ready for her. With a sharp kick of her own, Kim Yongsun meets her stream with a burst of flame that evaporates the muddy swamp water faster than Byul can sustain it. All around them, the swamp stench permeates in thick clouds of steam, enough to gag.
Byul twists out with her other arm and clenches it into a fist. It’s a little harder to turn swamp water to ice when it’s so heavy with moss and mud, but she manages several shards that she sends hurtling out toward the other girl.
Again, Kim Yongsun is ready for it. Stomping up once to create a wall of flame that evaporates the ice on contact.
“What do you want?” Kim Yongsun yells her protective wall of flame still up.
“Isn’t it obvious?” Byul retorts. This time she pulls with all her might, using the steam in the air and what water is left in the swamp. The succeeding wave is massive and it pushes the other girl back, slamming her into a tree.
“I don’t–I don’t want to fight you Moon Byulyi!”
Byul snarls, “Remembering my name isn’t going to fix things now!” She lashes out with a water whip that could break bones, but Kim Yongsun ducks behind the nearest tree. When Byul chases after, it’s only to take several steps backward as a fireball the size of her head comes hurtling toward her.
She uses the water to wrap around the other girl’s legs, sending her toppling to the ground. Byul approaches again, cautiously, but Yongsun gives a scream and the water holding her down evaporates too. Yongsun kicks out and Byul has to jump to avoid a burst of flame aimed at her stomach.
Then it’s another one aimed at her head. Then two ribbons of flame twist and intersect, meeting where her neck would have been if she hadn’t moved out of the way. Byul pulls at the water some more but so much of it has already evaporated into the air that what's left is heavier than she expected, weighed down by mud and clay and moss. It’s all the opening Kim Yongsun needs to kick her feet out from under her and pin her down by kneeling on her knees, one hand holding her arm down while the other has a small fireball aimed at her head.
“Yield,” Yongsun says. There’s mud on her face and her hair is in messy tentacles stuck to her face and her neck. Their fight had caused several rips and tears in her tunic and there is a hard-set glare on her face that could bring a lesser man to his knees.
It’s probably the adrenaline and fatigue but more likely it’s the fact that she’s probably about to die and this is the last sight she’s ever going to see. Which is why Byul finds herself saying, “At least you’re beautiful.”
Yongsun’s eyes grow wide. The fireball in her hand dies down and she gets off Byul, scooting back several feet.
They stay there, regarding each other warily. Neither of them moves to start the fight again, and after what feels like an eternity, Kim Yongsun gets to her feet and runs in the opposite direction.
Byul waits another few minutes, just to ensure it isn’t some kind of trap. Then she picks herself up and heads back to her own camp.
Byul decides to wait an extra day before moving to her destination, just to make sure the village is safe. Sure enough, when she walks the familiar market path the next day there is no sign of Kim Yongsun anywhere.
She breathes a sigh of relief, hiking up her bags and preparing the walk to the next village to start her real mission when a small girl by the stall nearest her bursts into tears. The sound cracked through the mid-morning peace. Her mother looks frazzled, hurriedly trying to soothe her child while also juggling a few new baskets of vegetables she still has to organize for her stall.
Byul reacts on instinct. She walks over and kneels next to the child, pulling out one of the moon peaches she had purchased yesterday. The little girl seems appeased, taking the fruit and biting into the sweet meat inside.
The mother smiles at Byul, “Thank you,”
Byul nods, reaching out a hand to tuck the little girl’s hair behind her ears. “These days we’ve got to look out for one another right?”
“Don’t I know it. As a matter of fact, there was a young woman about your age who’s been helping with the children while we women run the market.” The mother says, taking a few choice vegetables and placing them in a small bag. “But today when we checked her home she’d vanished.” She offers the bag to Byul as thanks.
“Really?” Byul feels wrongfooted somehow, and she hesitates before accepting the bag.
“It has everyone wondering what could have happened to her. She’s been such a help these past months, I hope she’s alright, you can never know, what with Fire Nation soldiers almost everywhere.”
“Did she have a name?” Byul asks although she feels she already knows the answer.
“She went by ‘Yong’” the mother says, “she wouldn’t tell us her whole name. We figured she was probably a refugee, like many of us here.”
Byul nods dimly. Suddenly she can’t seem to leave the village fast enough. Her mind buzzes with questions as she passes through the swamp on her way to the next town, the faint traces of scorched earth and swamp water still heavy in the air.
☀
The trek from the start of Patola Mountain Range to the Southern Air Temple takes almost three days, and by the third, Yong is starting to worry if the strain in her calves is going to be permanent. When she reaches the base of the summit, she sees another tent already pitched and set up there. Worse, she recognizes who it is.
The moment she spots Moon Byulyi, her knee-jerk reaction is to hide. Before she can act on it though, the other girl turns from where she was also making camp and spots her.
“You!”
Yong puts both hands up in what she hopes comes across as a placating gesture. “I don’t want to fight. I just want to make camp.”
Moon Byulyi regards her warily for a few moments, and Yong is bracing herself for another attack, or maybe to be told to just leave. To her surprise, the water bender gestures at the far end of the clearing where there’s more than enough room for one tent, and goes back to ignoring her.
Seeing as how she isn’t exactly in any position to look an unspoken truce in the face, Yong nods in thanks and goes about setting up her own camp. The rest of the day is spent in silence, each of them sticking to their own side and pretending the other person isn’t there.
Once night falls, Yong makes quick work of her campfire, using a few sturdy branches she's collected to prop up the small cauldron she's brought to cook her dinner. Her stew for one is bubbling happily away in under twenty minutes.
Across the way, Moon Byulyi's campsite is still dark, and Yong can hear the other girl's steady stream of curses and mutters as she tries and fails to light a campfire of her own. Yong stares at her own cheery fire, crackling away into the night, and stares at the darkened silhouette of the water bender.
She spends another few moments arguing with herself about what she's about to do. In the end, the part of her that wins heaves a deep sigh and says, loud enough to be heard, "Would you like some help?"
The sudden silence speaks volumes and Yong winces, wondering if she's overstepped some unknown Northern Water Tribe boundary. "This isn't some trick, I promise." She tries again, "I'll just help with your fire then leave you alone."
When the other girl still remains silent, Yong already sees it as a lost cause. She is already prepared to spend the rest of her evening in uncomfortable silence when she hears a soft reply, almost drowned out by the sounds of the forest around them.
"Okay."
Yong crosses over carefully, making sure to telegraph the intent of her every movement in the most non-threatening way possible. Even in the dark, she can feel how Moon Byulyi just watches her, probably with that same look of mistrust as that morning.
Not breaking eye contact, Yong points a hand toward the other girl's kindling and shoots out two sudden bursts of flame. It catches amongst the dried twigs and leaves and soon blooms into a bright fire of its own. The sudden light brings the other girl's features into stark contrast.
There's a quiet beauty about her, Yong realizes. Where the sharp flickering shadows would make any other person's face look ghastly, it only brings out Moon Byulyi's high, aristocratic cheekbones, the smooth planes of her face, and the fullness of her lips. Against the firelight, Yong notices how blue the other girl's eyes really are, clear and deep like a lake. There's mistrust there, and something else that she can't quite place just yet.
She notices that the waterbender also has a hand on the waterskins attached to her hip and it brings Yong back to reality. She lifts both hands again and slowly backs away to her own camp.
Right before she goes to sleep that night, she puts out her own campfire and retreats into the darkness of her tent.
Outside, the glow of Moon Byulyi's campfire burns all night long.
—
Yong wakes up extra early the next day to prepare for the long hike to the Southern Air Temple. When she passes by Moon Byulyi’s camp, she’s unsure if the other girl is there or not. She only spares a few seconds staring at the space where she had stood to light the fire the night before starting on her way.
The majority of the Southern Air Temple is on the peak of one of the taller mountains along the range. There’s a thin and precarious path that was probably used by pilgrims before, but most of the tower peaks are probably only accessible through air bending.
The hike takes most of the morning and half of the afternoon. By the time Yong reaches the edge of the temple grounds, the sun isn’t as hot in the sky anymore and there is an ever-present breeze that helps cool her down.
The wind whistles through the empty buildings and Yongsun all at once feels so small. She can imagine the place as it once was. With the monks and nuns going about their daily tasks, novices practicing air bending in the higher peaks or doing daily meditations in the lower gardens. Pilgrims coming from all over the world to seek higher enlightenment or inner peace or to just bask in the beauty that is another people’s culture.
Now it is just empty. The bones of something that was once great, housing nothing but ghosts. Yong feels a pain in her chest that has nothing to do with the long hike to the temple. Her vision grows blurry and there’s a lump in her throat that she can’t swallow down.
“It’s a pity.” A voice behind her says, and Yong doesn’t have to turn around to know who it is.
Those are the words that push her over the edge. The sob that she had been keeping bursts out and it racks through her entire body painfully. Like she’s being cracked open from the inside out.
“I’m sorry.” She says, through her tears. Although she’s not sure anymore who she’s saying it to, Byulyi, or the empty Air Temple in front of her.
“I’m sorry, I'm sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorryi’msorryi’mssorry .” Now that the words are coming out she can’t seem to get them to stop. Seven years' worth of pain finally breaking loose. She falls to the ground, knees under her, forehead pressed against the cool earth.
“I’ve known. I’ve always known that I was part of this great evil. That the Fire Nation isn’t bringing about peace. That they–”
Slaughtered thousands go unspoken between them and Yong cries even harder.
“I ran away from home because I didn’t want to be a part of it. Because I thought if I helped and did good, I could somehow make peace with everything else. But no matter how many villages I visit, no matter how many families I give food to or help relocate, it doesn’t change the fact that everything is destroyed and they’re all dead but I’m still here. It’s going to be a mark on my soul forever.”
She’s not sure if Byulyi understood anything she said or if her tears made all of it incomprehensible. Still, with the words finally, out there, Yong suddenly feels as empty as the Air Temple in front of her. She barely registers the sound of footsteps, or how Byulyi went from standing behind her to suddenly kneeling in front of her, except in the space of another sob, there’s suddenly a comforting hand on her shoulder.
Yong takes a few deep breaths, wiping at her face with the back of her hand as she tries to get herself back to normal. Byulyi’s hand remains where it is.
“How can you even stand to touch me?” Yong mutters once she’s finally confident enough to speak again. She suddenly feels so exhausted.
Byulyi doesn’t say anything for a long while, and then–
“The last time we saw each other, I was angry. I thought I was angry at you, but I realized I was angrier at everything else.”
Yong finally looks up, and it’s to find that Byulyi is looking straight at her, those blue eyes suddenly more piercing in the daylight than they were the night before.
“Before the war, my parents taught me to treat each person with openness. Somewhere along the way, I think I lost sight of that,” Byulyi’s voice is a deep and low rumble that is a lot more soothing than Yong is comfortable admitting to herself right now.
“I don’t know if I can ever forgive the Fire Nation for what they’ve done,” Byulyi says, and Yong automatically braces herself for the anger, but instead the other girl continues, “So instead I’ll make you a promise Kim Yongsun. The next time we meet, I’ll try to look at you and see no face but your own, and no actions that aren’t your own either.”
It’s not absolution, but it’s also more than she deserves, and Yong bows her head against the weight of this gift she’s been given. She feels lighter than she’s ever felt in years, almost like the wind blowing past them is carrying the last of her pain away.
“I’d like you to call me Yong,” she says, reverting to the moniker she’s gone by since she ran away from home.
Byulyi’s lips turn up into a not-quite smile. She reaches out her hand. “Hello Yong, you can call me Byul.”
They make it back down to the base of the summit together, and like the night before, Yong helps the other girl with her campfire before retreating to her own side. Also, like the night before, they spend the evening in silence, but there’s something more comforting about it now.
When Yong wakes up the next day, Byul is gone and her side of the campsite is empty,
☾
“I can’t believe you’re older than me,” Byul says over a mug of hot tea. She’s never been much a fan of tea from other nations, too used to the bitter brews from the North, but the one she’s drinking right now with Yong isn’t so bad.
Across from her, Yong is laughing while nursing a mug of her own. Her face is limned in the soft glow of the firelight that brings out the gold of her eyes. Byul looks back down at her mug.
“What do you mean, you can’t believe it?” Yong says through her chuckles, “it’s true!”
“You just look so young, you’ve always looked young. It’s those cheeks of yours.” Byul says, looking anywhere but at the girl in front of her. When she looks back up, Yong is smiling down at her own mug.
They’re silent for a while, which is okay. Byul takes the time to check the ice dome she’s created to protect them from the rain.
They’re both back in Earth Kingdom territory. Byul had gotten into a nasty scuffle with some Fire Nation soldiers that morning, and she was literally on the run when Yong appeared almost out of nowhere and practically dragged her into an abandoned shed to hide. Once the coast had been clear they both ran to the safety of the forest until they found a clearing. Byul had left her pack with all her things when she’d been almost caught and Yong’s belongings were back at the inn she’d been staying at. So they made do.
Yong had foraged for the tea leaves from the surrounding shrubbery, Byul had made their shelter for the night, Yong had started the fire, and Byul provided the water. It’s strange how well they actually work together now that they aren’t exactly on opposing sides anymore. Almost like they’re friends. Except they are, right? Byul looks up at Yong again. The hatred and anger from before have long since gone. All that’s left now is a warm thrum in her gut and a pleasant fluttering somewhere in her ribcage.
Probably from the tea.
“Is it bad?” Yong suddenly asks, wrongly guessing what Byul must be thinking. “It’s not an herb I’m used to either, but the women here taught me which herbs were good for brewing with when I first arrived so I’m mostly sure it isn’t poisonous.
Despite herself, Byul bursts out laughing. “Wouldn’t that be something? A Fire Nation girl accidentally kills a Northern Water Tribe spy after they become friends.”
Across from her, Yong stiffens, and Byul wonders if she accidentally offended her by mentioning their heritages again. Instead, there’s a warm flush spreading on the other girl’s cheeks, but it could just be from the warmth of the tea and their proximity to the campfire.
“I’ve been meaning to ask,” Yong says instead, “how did you end up becoming a spy?”
Byul grins, “well, when you know–” she waves her hand vaguely in front of her to refer to when the Fire Nation attacked, “I wanted to join our tribe’s naval fleet but our Chief didn’t exactly believe that a woman belongs on the battlefield.” She winced, it was still a sore subject after all these years. “And I wasn’t exactly keen on just sitting at home and becoming a healer. I had the biggest fight with my father about it.”
She still remembers it. The way her father had gotten angry, her mother’s tears, and her sisters hiding in their rooms.
“I told him I was going to be a part of this war with his blessing or without it, we compromised on me becoming a spy, and sending intel back to our Tribe to help with the war efforts. Neither of us was happy with it which meant it was the best possible solution.”
Byul sighs, long and deep. She hasn’t been back home in almost eight years. She misses her family, her tribe, and her home but every time she comes across another village that’s been ransacked by Fire Nation soldiers, her resolve grows harder and colder, like ice living deep in her heart.
She looks up at Yong, wondering if saying all this to the other girl will break this budding new thing (friendship?) they have. Across from her, Yong looks sad, but there’s something else there too, simmering beneath the surface. A quiet strength that Byul saw hints of when they first fought in the swamp. Her expression is too much for Byul to handle so she looks away again.
“What about your brothers?” Yong asks.
Byul shakes her head. “I don’t have any, just me and my sisters. My father always insisted we were enough, but when we fought about the war, I could tell that he was trying to stop himself from saying things could have been different if I were a boy.”
“I don’t have any brothers either.” Yong mumbles, “and my father didn’t keep it a secret how much he wishes he had sons. One to follow his trade and one to become a soldier for the Fire Lord. Instead, he got me and my older sister.”
"Fathers," Byul says wryly.
Yong laughs humorlessly. "Fathers."
“Well your turn now,” Byul says, since they're talking about it they might as well go all out. “When did you decide to run away?”
Yong shrugged. “I don’t even think I made it a year after the proclamation. I thought about you a lot during those days you know.”
Byul feels her heart race.
Yong’s eyes widen. “Uhm–I mean. Not like–uhm, I mean I thought a lot about what you said to me. Uh, when I was at the Northern Water Tribe with my father.”
Byul focuses on sipping her tea, afraid of what she might say otherwise. She clears her throat before asking, “Do you miss your family?”
It’s Yong’s turn to sigh. “No. Yes? It’s complicated. I don’t regret leaving them but I do wish things had been different.”
Byul nods. She can understand that.
They're silent again for a few moments before Yong asks her the next question.
"Do you ever think about what you'll do after the war?"
Byul pauses to give the question its due. The truth is she has thought about this before, but she feels her answer has changed since then.
"I used to think I would just go back to my tribe and pick up where I left off. Inherit my father's merchant business, live out my days raising polar bear dogs but–"
And here, she pauses because this is the part that still carries a sting. Mourning the life she could have had.
"I don't know if the person I am now is still a person who deserves to live that life."
Yong looks at her in disbelief. "Why wouldn't you deserve that after all this?"
Byul shrugs, "Being a spy isn't just about hiding in dark alleys and listening to conversations in secret, you know. There are things I've done, and had to do, in order to get what I needed. I don't know if I can go home to my family and face them after all that." She leaves it there because some of those wounds are still too fresh.
She looks up, and Yong's expression is a lot more thoughtful now. She understands, Byul thinks, that war brings out the ugliness in everyone. That what Byul told her wasn't just a reason, but a confession of all the things she's done too. This is her own mark on her soul that she has to live with forever.
"I don't know about what you may or may not deserve," Yong says, slowly. Byul waits for the judgment that never comes. Instead, Yong just continues, "But I think we all deserve a little kindness after all this."
Byul smiles.
"I could never go home too." Yong says, answering her own question, "Not just because I ran away but," there's a downward turn to her mouth and she takes a deep breath to steel herself. "The person I am now isn't a person who would fit in there anymore."
“Cheers to that,” Byul lifts her mug in commiseration.
Yong smiles back at her and Byul’s stomach does a little flip.
They sleep on opposite ends of the fire until the next day. When morning comes, Byul wakes up first, the sunlight streaming in through the ice dome is bright and clear enough to wake her from sleep. Across the way, Yong is still asleep, and here, in the quiet stillness of the morning, Byul takes her chance to really look.
Yong has always been beautiful, there’s no denying that. But in sleep, there’s an innocence to her that makes Byul’s chest hurt. She sighs, “Tui help me,” she mutters before reaching out and collapsing the ice dome around them.
The bright burst of sunlight is enough to wake up Yong, who sits up and rubs her eyes for a bit before glaring at the sunlight streaming down on them. It’s downright adorable and Byul shakes her head as she lets out a quick little chuckle. “La help me too,” she says.
“What’s that?” Yong asks.
Byul shakes her head. “Nothing.”
They spend the next few minutes getting rid of the remains of their makeshift little camp. When it’s done they stare at each other and there are an awkward few moments where neither of them is sure what to do next.
“Uhm. I guess I’ll see you around?” Byul says.
Yong nods. “You take care of yourself Byul.”
She smiles, hesitant. “You too, Yong.”
“Don’t get yourself into trouble!” The other girl calls out as she walks away.
Byul watches and waits until Yong has walked well past the tree line and back to the village before she sighs again, leaning against the nearest tree. “I’m already in trouble.” She says to herself.
☀
She can't say she didn't see this coming. She had been tempting fate, really, returning to Fire Nation territory after all these years. But there's been whooping cough spreading amongst a lot of the children in the Earth Kingdom villages and the only medicine she knows that can treat it is from the Fire Nation.
It’s weird, wearing Fire Nation clothes again. Entering the country isn’t difficult, and blending in amongst the crowd in Shuhon Island isn’t difficult. Even bartering for medicine from an apothecary isn’t difficult.
What is difficult is the group of Fire Nation soldiers that have been stalking her since she left the apothecary.
She tries not to let the fear show, reminding herself that despite how she feels and how she’s been living, she actually is still from the Fire Nation. So except for the fact that she needs to smuggle the medicine out of Shuhon Island, she technically isn’t doing anything wrong.
Yong turns into an alley to try and shake the two soldiers that have been trailing her for the last five minutes. As she’s walking, two more appear at the end of the alley. She tries to control her breathing, turning back around where she came, except the two that have been following her are blocking that exit too. She’s trapped.
Yong clutches the bag of medicine close to her chest. “Something the matter, officers?”
The ones behind her take a few steps closer. “That’s quite a bit of medicine for one pretty lady.”
She fights to keep her expression impassive. “It’s for my village, in the Southern Islands.”
“You’ve traveled quite a long way,” a different soldier says, and Yong can see his fingers poised for bending. “Are you sure it’s not for your little rebel friends in the mountains?”
“I’m not a rebel. I’m from the Fire Nation.” Yong says, both of which are true.
“Then you wouldn’t be opposed to coming with us so we can check your name in the registry for Southern Island citizens?”
Well. They have her there.
Her fight-or-flight instincts kick in fast, faster than her brain can keep up. In the space of one breath, Yong sends a fireball at the two soldiers in front of her. By the next exhale, she kicks off the ground with a burst of fire strong enough to propel her to the nearest roof.
And then she’s running for her life.
She can hear the yells and shouts from the soldiers below, but she doesn’t stop to look. When the thud and crash of soldiers landing on the roof behind reach her ears, she throws another fireball over her shoulders and keeps running.
“Traitor!” One of the soldiers yells and Yong has just enough presence of mind to jump to a different roof on the left at the exact same moment that a pillar of flame burns through where she had been running just moments ago. She keeps running, keeping her gaze focused on the edge of the forest and her freedom. She’s already so close, just one roof more and she can lose the soldiers in the trees, she just needs to–
A different soldier jumps out from seemingly nowhere and he catches Yong off guard. She tries to course correct but she already knows it’s far too late. The soldier spins and kicks her with a burst of flame off the roof. She’s too shocked to bend and defend herself so she feels the searing hot lick of the flames as she’s sent flying toward the edge of the forest.
Yong has just enough presence of mind to protect the bag of medicine while she falls. Twigs and branches scratch at her skin and tear at her clothes and by the time she crashes down hard into the forest below she already knows she’s dislocated her shoulder probably broken a few ribs.
“She fell in there!”
Yong tries to scramble to her feet. Just beyond the tree line, she can hear the thundering footsteps and yells of Fire Nation soldiers coming towards her. The pain is everywhere, blooming hot and bright and it’s preventing her from focusing on anything. This is it, she thinks, hugging the bag of medicine tighter against her in a feeble attempt to keep herself from passing out.
This is how I die.
She closes her eyes and feels cold all over, the despair from her failure bringing fresh tears to her eyes. She won’t be able to help those Earth Kingdom children. She won’t be able to see–
There’s a sudden crack and woosh and Yong realizes the cold isn’t just residual trauma from the pain she’s feeling. It’s actually cold. She has enough strength left in her to lift her head and see that there’s a full wall of ice separating her from the soldiers. There’s muffled yelling on the other side and she can see a faint orange glow from where a few of them are trying to melt the ice but so far the wall is holding.
“Yong!”
Byul comes into view, and the relief is so heady that Yong feels what grip she has on her consciousness and finally lets go. Adrenaline gives way to fatigue.
“Byul.”
—
When she comes to, the first thing she notices is that it smells. Like rotten eggs and excrement and her first thought is that she must be dead.
Except her other senses are starting to make themselves known and she can register that she’s lying down on something smooth and furry, that there’s something cold and slimy on her chest, and that there’s the sound of someone moving around. When she opens her eyes, the blurry oranges and browns come into focus enough for her to realize that she’s in a tent and Byul is right beside her, mixing something furiously in a mortar and pestle.
“Byul,”
The water bender’s head snaps up and her eyes are frantic. “Yong!”
Mortar and pestle temporarily forgotten Byul draws closer. She extends a hand and it looks like she’s about to touch her but then she hesitates, fingers just barely brushing over Yong’s shoulder.
“How are you feeling?” The other girl asks instead.
Yong winces, finally attempting to take stock of herself. She tries to sit up but the pain in her shoulder is still very much there. She hisses and Byul is right there, warm hands gently pressing her back down.
“Don’t. Just–” She looks nervous and scared and younger than Yong has ever remembered seeing her. Something about that fear on Byul’s face breaks her heart just a little.
“I didn’t know if you would–” Byul’s voice cracks and the rest of her sentence dies in her throat. She clears it and tries again. “I didn’t know what else was wrong with you so I patched up what I could.”
Her eyes drift quickly down to Yong’s chest and it’s only then that she stares down there herself. Covering her chest are several leaves covered in a cool, slimy ointment. Underneath that, she can see the tinge of raw flesh from where the soldier had burned her as he kicked her off the roof.
“Thank you.” She says, and her voice sounds gravelly to her ears.
Immediately, Byul is holding up a cup full of water. “Here, drink.”
Yong takes it and the water is cool and refreshing as it slides down her throat. When she tries to lie back down, it’s her ribs that ache in protest. She can’t help the wince.
“What is it?”
She tries to shake her head, but the pain in her shoulder prevents even that type of movement. “Uhm, my shoulder hurts and I think my ribs might be broken.”
Byul’s eyes track the areas and Yong sees the exact moment when a cold, hard, fury passes through those blue eyes.
“Byul, don’t–”
“Those soldiers hurt you!”
She lifts a hand and puts it on Byul’s. “I know but I don’t care about them.”
Their eyes lock and they stare at each other for a long while. Something in Byul’s eyes softens and Yong feels her heart jackhammer nervously around her chest.
She looks around at the tent and the stench hits her again. She wrinkles her nose. “Where are we?”
“Hot springs,” Byul says, busying herself by pouring the mixture from her mortar and pestle into another bowlful of water. “The sulfur hides our scents from their tracker dogs and there’s enough water and steam here for me to defend you.”
Yong can’t even begin to imagine how Byul managed to carry her all the way over here, especially with–
Her heart stutters in her chest and she looks around frantically, “Byul where’s–”
“Your medicine bag is over there in the corner,” Byul says calmly, lifting the water up with her bending and swirling it in the air, mixing everything together into an amorphous blob. “None of it was damaged. You’re good.”
Yong finally sees her bag and she feels the last of her worries float away. She instead focuses on what Byul is doing, slightly entranced by the water as it floats through the air. “What are you doing?”
Byul sets some of the water back into the bowl but transfers a small ball of it into her other hand. When she looks at Yong again there’s an intense look in her eyes that sends her insides warm. “I’m going to heal you.” The moment she says it, the water suddenly glows blue.
Yong can only watch as Byul enters into a trance-like state, arms moving in smooth-flowing motions as she brings the water over and presses it into Yong’s body.
Immediately she gasps. It feels like something cold and hot sears through her at the same time. Byul starts at her shoulder, the energy working at wrongness in the joint until she feels it righten. The waterbender then moves that water out of Yong’s body and tosses it to the ground below them where it evaporates into sweet-smelling steam. Byul grabs another handful of water and moves it toward Yong’s ribs, this part takes a lot longer and uses up a lot more water. She can see the toll it’s taking on Byul, the furrow deepening between her eyes and the sweat gathering at her brow. By the time the damage to her ribs is mostly fixed, there’s only a small amount of water left in the bowl.
Yong carefully tries to sit up. The pain is a lot more manageable than before, no longer as sharp and more of a dull ache. She can tell that her shoulder is no longer dislocated and her ribs are no longer broken but the muscles surrounding them are still sore and bruised. Nothing she can’t manage on her own.
Byul takes a shaky exhale and carefully peels at the leaves on her chest. Yong winces as the raw skin is exposed to the humid air. Once all of the leaves are peeled, Byul gets the last of the water and pushes it into Yong’s chest, healing the burnt skin.
The energy feels warm and comforting, flowing through her skin and muscles as it smoothes out the burns and leaves only slightly tender and pink skin behind. She looks up and meets Byul’s eyes. She’s not sure why her breathing has grown a little heavier. “I thought you weren’t a healer?” she whispers, voice a little breathless.
Byul is a lot closer now and Yong can count the beads of sweat that trickle down the other girl’s face.
“Only when it matters,” Byul whispers against her lips. Suddenly they’re kissing and she doesn’t ever want to stop.
She pushes herself closer and closer, arms wrapping around Byul’s shoulders while Byul’s wrap around her waist and lifts Yong to sit on her lap.
“When I saw that soldier kick you off the roof, I thought–” Byul’s voice cracks as she kisses a line down Yong’s throat.
“I’m here,” Yong says, her eyes closing as she reaches for any part of Byul she can. “I’m here.”
They move closer and closer, drinking each other in. When they finally come together, the steam they create mixes in with the hot springs around them.
In the light of the afterglow, they’re facing each other and Yong is poleaxed by how much she loves this woman in her arms. She can’t even pinpoint when or how it started, only that nothing is more important to her than Moon Byulyi. It’s overwhelming and wonderful.
Byul murmurs something, and Yong has to focus to make out the words. Sleep already tugging her eyelids closed. “Hm?”
“I said, after the war ends, all I want is you.”
☾
No matter where in the world she travels to, Byul will always feel the call of the water deep in her soul. The rhythmic way that it ebbs and flows is as much a part of her as the hair on her head or the blood in her veins. Right now, she’s about to board a ship that will take her from Jang Hui to Harbortown. The ship’s captain was easy enough to bribe.
Right before she boards, she spots her mark. He’s bartering for fish with an old Fire Nation fish vendor and the sight puts a smile on Byul’s face. She walks over under the guise of chucking a bucket of discarded fish heads into the sea. As she passes, she slips the scroll with intel into the older man’s bag.
“Can’t you give me a cheaper price?” He says to the fish vendor. Byul is well versed with the secret code they’ve been using this past decade.
Your family misses you.
She sighs and nods.
“My wife won’t accept it if I pay this much.” Your father doesn’t approve.
Byul chuckles because she figured as much when she sent that missive last month. “I’m going to be late,” she says to herself, but just loud enough that her mark hears her.
“Fine, I’ll pay.” Take care, daughter.
Byul walks off to the ship she’s commandeered and doesn’t look back to where her Father is deep undercover until she’s already set sail. She spares herself a moment to miss him, to miss her family, to feel that longing coalesce into a few tears that trickle down her face. When he’s out of sight and Jang Hui is nothing but a silhouette in the distance, she finally turns away and looks ahead to her destination.
Harbortown is one of the last few Earth Kingdom strongholds that has managed to hold fast against the Fire Nation’s attempts at invasion. When her ship docks, she pays the captain the hefty price they’d agreed on and walks on, past the main settlement and deeper toward the mountains where she can see a thin curl of smoke floating out above the trees.
The hike doesn’t take too long, just a few hours of discomfort before she finally sees the clearing where a small hut stands. Outside, there’s a woman throwing a handful of herbs into a large boiling cauldron of what smells like dinner. Byul allows herself to pause and admire the sight.
Yong is already well known in Harbortown as a favored school teacher, especially among the children. Many of the mothers have begged her to settle closer to the settlement but Yong had begged off each time, always insisting that she prefers being closer to nature. It’s easier than the truth, which is that, since Byul’s many aliases are on multiple lists of the Fire Nation’s most wanted fugitives, it’s better and safer for the settlement if they live farther away, in case Fire Nation spies somehow manage to track them here.
When Yong finally spots her, Byul can already see the bright smile spread across her face, and she wastes no time walking over to her.
Once she has the other woman in her arms, Byul lifts her up and spins them around a bit, taking immense pleasure in Yong’s shrieking laughter of surprise. When they finally settle, she pulls the other woman in for a kiss, letting it linger just a bit to catch the sweet taste of moon peach on her lover’s lips.
“Welcome back,” Yong says when they part.
Byul tucks an errant strand of hair behind Yong’s ear, so stupidly in love with this woman that she doesn’t know what to do with it. The war still rages on, and there’s still a lot of good to be done, but right here and now, they have each other, and this small paradise that’s just their own.
“I’m home.”