Chapter Text
Chihiro was having second thoughts. It’d been more than a few minutes since Mondo had left to grab the others and the silence in Chihiro’s dorm failed to instill her with confidence. Was this really the best idea after all? Maybe they’d all figured it out on their own and didn’t want to talk to her anymore? ‘No, no, remember what you learned, it’s a disservice to them to assume the worst,’ Chihiro thought. Still, her fears could only grow.
Then there came a polite knock. When Chihiro opened it, she came face to face with a teary Kiyotaka. The moment he made eye contact, he fell into a large bow and began offering a myriad of apologies. “Fujisaki, I sincerely apologize for anything I or any of my peers have done to upset you! I can promise that none of us had the intention to offend! Please forgive our ignorance of your feelings!”
“Goddamnit bro, I told you it wasn’t that fuckin’ serious!” Mondo rushed over and pulled Kiyotaka up, nearly choking him in the process. After a moment of recovery, Kiyotaka turned and glared at Mondo.
“I still believe that Fujisaki deserves a sincere expression of regret! We made her cry after all.” Kiyotaka argued back. Leon and Makoto were the last to arrive at this point, nearly dragging themselves across the floor.
“Sorry… we took so long…” Makoto panted. There was a subtle wobble in his stance that she wouldn’t have fully noticed if not for him nearly falling.
“Yeah, Makoto’s looking so bent outta shape because they wanted us to have class in the garden today,” Leon added, “We were gonna walk like normal people but then Ishimaru bolted off and then Mondo did too and since this school refuses to install an elevator, we had to go running after him! Poor guy had to try to run down 4 flights of stairs. I mean, I did it easily because baseball is all about sprinting.” Chihiro ignored Leon's pinkish face and the sweat pouring down his brow. She knew he wanted to feel tough. She also knew what that felt like. “I ended up jogging next to this guy to make sure he didn’t fall down the stairs and break his skull open.”
Makoto had recovered enough to roll his eyes. However, that didn’t stop him from turning to Leon and offering him a genuine smile afterwards. “Yeah, thanks for running with me, Leon. I owe you one.”
“No problem, man,” Leon smiled. “Anyway, why did we even rush down here in the first place?” While the question should have been directed towards Chihiro, Leon faced the whole group as he asked.
“Kuwata, how could you possibly forget the catastrophe that happened this morning? Poor Fujisaki burst into tears!” Scolded Kiyotaka.
“I already told you guys, it ain’t that fuckin’ big of a deal. Chi said we weren’t the problem,” Mondo interjected.
“I mean no offense to you or Fujisaki but it would not be out of character for her to say that just so no one would press the issue,” Kiyotaka asserted.
“Guys, why don’t we just ask Chihiro? She’s right there!” Makoto’s statement caused the rest of the group to fall silent and each of their eyes turned to her. Her breathing began to speed up.
“W-well, Mondo’s right, it wasn’t any of your guys’ fault. And I’m not lying either.” Chihiro kept her eyes firmly planted to the floor, “If it’s okay, could we have this conversation inside my dorm? It’s kind of… private.” They all agreed to come inside and so Chihiro brought them all through to her bedroom.
Everything was just as tidy as before. She’d tried cleaning to calm her nerves earlier during the wait but there wasn’t much to clean in the first place. Besides, they'd all been in her room before anyway. Was that weird? ‘Even if it is weird, this is no time to think about that!’ Chihiro argued with herself. Kiyotaka and Makoto tended to drift over toward the photos of space hung up on her wall whenever they visited her dorm. Leon found his own space to sit on her bed most hangouts, making himself right at home. Mondo just stood. In the moment where they each found their own place in the room, Chihiro was trying her hardest to keep up her courage. Normally in situations like this, she’d tinker with one of her scripts or take a few photos to calm her nerves but it would be quite weird to just start working as she talked to her friends. Confessions were tough, like most social situations. Due to the bullying and her own introversion, she hadn’t had much practice in many years. Makoto seemed to notice her distress.
“Hey Chihiro, you okay? You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to!” Makoto’s words were quite heartfelt but there was no way she was letting herself not go through with it now. Still, her small smile let him know that she appreciated the sentiment.
“No, no, it’s fine! It’s something that I’ve needed to talk to you all about for a while.” The act of speaking in front of a group, even a small group like her friends, was nerve wracking. With nowhere else to look, her gaze settled on the floor yet again. “The reason why I got so upset earlier was because Mondo had called me ‘man’. Just not for the reasons you think. The thing is I-” Chihiro had made the mistake of looking back up. Everyone there had their eyes fully trained on her, hanging on every word. Her eyes snapped back down. “I… um, well, the thing is…” Her face began to burn and she could swear her hands felt damp. With a large breath, she reminded herself of her own resolution and wiped her hands on her skirt, summoning up every last piece of courage she had left. “The thing is I really liked being called that. More than a girl really should.” The silence was deafening but she didn’t dare look up again. Instead, she squeezed her eyes shut. “I-I think I’m a guy.”
The first thing Chihiro felt after that was someone pulling her into a hug. Then two more. Kiyotaka yelled for everyone to give her some space but he just got pulled in too, despite his protests. This wasn’t really supposed to be going this way. Whenever Chihiro imagined this moment, she’d expected arguments or confusion or really anything but this. Even asking to wear more masculine clothes had been an extremely awkward event for both her and her parents, with the whole thing being punctuated by hesitance from every store they went to. The pure relief caused her knees to buckle beneath her. Warm tears also started to fall, a newfound feeling of safety and love overwhelming her to the point of tears. ‘Of course they’d be fine with it,’ she thought quietly to herself, ‘You’ve always been worth so much more than what those people have told you. Why did we ever doubt it?’
And while the moment was especially sweet, you can only hug someone for so long before it gets awkward. Slowly but surely they all let go, leaving Chihiro in the middle, wiping her- …Hm. Chihiro wiped away his tears.
“So what’s the plan, Chi?” Leon asks, “You planning on getting some brand new duds or…?”
“Honestly, I didn’t really have a plan past this. Getting new clothes would be on the to-do list though. I only really have skirts right now, hehe,” Chihiro smiled. Coming up with a plan on what comes next would be helpful but the trouble is he didn’t really know where to start. “I’d have to look up what to do from here. I think part of it would be getting a new name, right? Then you have the clothes thing too.” A thought occurred to Chihiro at that moment but even just the idea of it made him feel embarrassed.
Then that feeling turned to realization, then annoyance. The art of letting yourself be cared for was hard for him to grasp after years of trying to handle it all on his own. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to ask. “Would you guys mind helping me with this? I-I don’t exactly know how to be a guy yet and I figured you guys would know but you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to and I really appreciate you guys choosing to accept me in the first place and-”
“Chi,” Mondo gently placed a hand on Chihiro’s shoulder, “What do you need?”
The conversation evolved from there with all of them agreeing to help Chihiro come up with a list of new names, go shopping for some new clothes and come out to the class. Chihiro had brought up his own special request of wanting to gain more muscle and become stronger, which most of the boys had some expertise in. Makoto was more hesitant to help there but couldn’t bear to turn him down. After all was said and done, the group had come up with a concrete schedule for the tasks ahead of them along with a bit of additional reassurance that Chihiro was not burdening them in any way. Then the lunch bell rang.
“Finally! I thought I was going to starve!” Exclaimed Leon. It didn’t take more than a second for Leon to cross the floor and burst out of Chihiro’s dorm, his loud steps echoing down the hall. Kiyotaka powerwalked after him, ready to reprimand the poor soul. The next out was Makoto. He found his way out of the door as fast as he wanted, which was not very fast at all after this morning.
“You go on without me Mondo, I have something I still need to do.” Chihiro said, understanding that Mondo wasn’t going to leave Chihiro behind unless asked. The boy nodded and strolled out the door. As soon as he knew he was out of earshot, he pulled the door closed and took out his cell phone, typing in a familiar number. There were still two people he hadn’t told yet.
“Hello?” A voice that sounded just like a deeper version of Chihiro’s answered the phone.
“Hi Dad! Do you have a minute?” He asked.
“Of course, honey! What’s up?” Chihiro didn’t need to agonize over whether or not this was a good decision or what this would mean for his future. He’d done this once before after all.
“I’m a guy. For certain this time.”
“Aha! Finally! I’ve missed my wonderful son! It’s been a long, long time since I last talked to you. What has it been? 7 years?” His father teased him over the phone.
“Dad. C’mon.” Chihiro giggled.
“Oh, you should’ve seen what I’ve had to put up with while you were gone! This horrid girl was here in your stead and she absolutely ruined the place! Threw out all your clothes and tried to convince me and your mother that you had never even existed. Can you believe that? It was ludicrous. Remind me to give her a piece of my mind the next time I see her, if I even see her at all!”
“Daaaaaaaaad. This is serious.”
“Alright, alright.” His father relented, “Do you want to go buy some new clothes with me?”
“No, I’ll be fine. I’ve got some friends helping me.” There was a small pause after that, surprised but not unhappy.
“Aww. I knew you’d find your crowd eventually. I have to get back to work but I’ll call you when I clock out, okay?” His father’s smile was audible.
“Okay. Love you.”
“Love you too. Bye!” A similar conversation took place right after with his mom, just with less teasing.
At this point, his stomach begged him to leave. His mind tugged him back though, criticizing his choice in clothing yet again today. Thankfully, he was a little more easy to convince now and he made his way toward his closet, patting himself on the back for not throwing away everything. Tucked right into the back, covered in dust, was a pair of brown shorts. Chihiro hesitantly pulled it off the hanger. Then he went to change.