Work Text:
“This is hardly appropriate,” Optimus rumbled, but his voice lacked heat. He was too tired to fuss for long, which was exactly what both his lovers wanted. “If the humans entered right now…”
“If the humans entered right now, I’d threaten to shoot them for interrupting and ignoring the bold, explicit ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign I hung on the door,” Elita declared with perfect seriousness, and Optimus knew she would, and damn the consequences.
Hopefully their G.H.O.S.T. allies wouldn’t make the mistake again; Elita taking potshots at an unfortunate agent who hadn’t heeded the warnings was hardly anything new and nowaday, only rookies being hazed or people having a real emergency on their hands dared to brave her signs.
“We could still be called by our comrades,” Optimus argued again as Elita burrowed into his left side, effectively locking him in place by trapping his leg between hers.
“I’ve already warned them not to bother and that until further notice, Ratchet is the one to call the shots,” Megatron smirked from Optimus’ right side, where he was busy slipping oversized cushions behind the red and blue mech’s helm. Oh, those were soft, too… “Also, all our calls shall be rerooted to an answering machine. By the way, you ought to change your message, Prime. It is boring as well.”
“It’s not,” Optimus protested, trying to sit up and glare at Megatron, only for both the former Warlord and his trusted friend to push him back down with twin answers of: “Yes it is!”
“But I suppose you shouldn’t be blamed; when you aren’t making speech about freedom and the rights of all sentient beings, you’re incredibly awkward and unimaginative,” Megatron chuckled fondly as he curled against Optimus’ right side and nuzzled the other mech’s neck.
“Right?” Elita said brightly. “I love the mech to pieces, but I haven’t hooked up with him for his orator talents.”
“Elita, please…” Optimus bemoaned, cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “Can you two stop ganging on me?” he asked with mild exasperation. The two of them, honestly… When Megatron and Elita had started to get friendly after working the pent-up rage and arguments out of their systems (either by shooting at targets or using a more… ‘hands-on approach’), Optimus had been relieved, because he wouldn’t have to mediate between them and the fact they were becoming friends-and-something-more was actually a good thing, a proof Cybertron could heal.
What he got in the long run was not one but two persons perfectly willing to bully him into doing what THEY wanted, or snipping at him in a passive-aggressive manner when they both thought he was being an idiot.
Case in point, their current situation.
“Where would be the fun in that?” Elita questioned with a raised optic ridge. “Now, be a good mech and take that nap, Optimus,” she ordered.
“Doctor’s orders, and we all know you’d never disappoint Ratchet, do you, Optimus?” Megatron added.
“Of course, given you already did plenty of times before, I can see why the good doctor thought you needed minders to make sure you actually took that nap,” Elita snuggled against him, amused.
“Which is just as well, because the thought of a nap while others deal with the humans instead of us is very attractive,” Megatron finished in the same tone, and Optimus sighed.
“You weren’t forced to tie me up for that, you know?” he groused, but it lacked heat. It wasn’t as if it was the first time they put him in handcuffs, after all (and Ratchet had done worse, magnetizing him to a berth in the Medbay without warning more than once).
“No,” the two of them agreed together, “but at least this way we’re sure you’re not going anywhere,” Elita added with a smile.
“And who knows,” Megatron winked, “maybe they can have other uses once we’re all well-rested.” That was a promise, and they all knew it.
Optimus’ engine, traitorous thing it was, revved. “That’s better be a promise,” he muttered, shuttering his optics and letting his frame relax.
“Oh, it’s definitely one, love,” Elita murmured sleepily.
“Definitely one,” Megatron concurred.
And that was the last thing Optimus heard before being lulled to sleep.
End