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Adam doesn’t want to talk about it. He definitely doesn’t want to talk about anything that just happened. But as John presses his hand into his shoulder Adam snaps his eyes up to stare at him through his eyelashes. “So…” He starts, thumb stroking the curve of his shoulder blade. It's a soft looping moment that stills the anger in Adam's mind, soothing it until it simmers and tempers down into something tight and tired in his stomach. “Do ya wanna talk about what happened out there?”
Adam pauses slightly, lips pressing into a thin line. He looks like he's thinking but he isn’t. He knows he doesn’t want to talk about the Elite standing beside him again or the small quip in Matt’s lips when they made eye contact, or the fact that for the first time in a while, Adam actually felt anxious. He doesn’t want to think about the fact that Kenny walked away, left him when he needed him the most. Again.
The pressure on his shoulder; heavy and comforting, brings him out of his own thoughts and John looks down at him, head tilted to the side. “Where’d you go?”
Hell.
Home.
Adam thinks, eyes creasing together slightly at the two conflicting statements. The Elite wasn’t his home anymore. Maybe they never were. They never really wanted him, he was always second best, always the cow, never the cowboy. “Nowhere. Just tired.” Guilt bubbles at his stomach as he lies to the beaver boys through his teeth. Alex and John had been nothing but good to him, he can trust them so why was he lying to them? “I’m just gonna hit the hay… it's been a long day.”
Alex nods slightly and stares at Adam from the corner of his eyes. He opens his mouth, closes it before taking Adam’s face in his palm. “Are you gonna be okay?” His hand sneaks to the back of Adam’s head, stroking through his tangled hair, letting the soft blond curls slip through the gaps between his fingers. “A lot of stuff happened tonight; we lost.”
“Uno got sent to the hospital.” John’s leaning against the headboard of Adam’s bed, hand resting on the small of Adam’s back, fiddling with the tassels on his jacket. “And..”
“Yeah the Elite. I know..” Adam flails, squirming to sit in the middle of the bed. Legs crossed under him, Adam picks at the invisible patches on his jeans. “I’ll be okay. Promise.” The two of them look at him unconvinced for a few seconds and Adam pushes his smile wider , tries to blink the sleep from the green of his eyes until there's a small glimmer of acceptance in his friends eyes. “I’ll call if anything goes wrong.”
“You promise.” Alex asks, raising an eyebrow in slight concern. Adam knows they are worrying because they care. He knows they care but he just wants to sleep, their worry makes the anger twist up into a ball of anxiety in his stomach and it's not purposeful. Adam knows what so he presses a hand against his stomach, the ball of his palm pressing into the scarred fat around his hip. “Adam, we love you.”
Adam’s words are blocked off with a yawn that opens his mouth so wide, that there's a dull pain that tingles through his mouth. The Dark Order boys chuckle, John reaching over to lightly tug at the tip of Hangman’s boots. “Love y’guys too. Now scram before I change my mind.” He chuckles, rolling off the hotel bed. It’s only polite that he walk’s them to the door, even if it is only a few steps. They make smalltalk, Alex pressing his nail against the tacky skin of Adam’s wrist as he pulls open the door and says goodbye. “Text me when we find out anything about Uno, yeah?”
John nods, wrapping Adam in a tight hug, hands pressing into the small of Adam’s back. “You promise you’ll call if anything goes wrong?”
“What's the worst that can happen?” Adam states, chuckling his way through the sentence. He grows to regret that statement a few minutes later. He’s standing barefoot and sleepy in the small hotel bathroom, toothpaste foaming over in his mouth where there's a sharp knock at his hotel room door. At first it startles him, his body flinching into alertness and he pads over to the front door.
Adam all but nearly chokes on his own minty-flavored spit. He wipes his chin, gasps in a few small lungfuls of breath. “Matt?” He stares at his former friend and Matt doesn’t quite stare back. Brown eyes the color of sea-smoothed pebbles scar across his bare chest before falling to the hem of his striped pajama pants. “What uh-” He mentally curses at himself, for opening the door, for not having the right words to talk to his former friend. “What are you doing here?”
Matt startles almost like he’s surprised that Adam is talking to him and hasn't just slammed the door in his face. “I…” He pinches at the skin between his thumb and forefinger and Adam cocks a small smile, he’s almost endeared that Matt hasn’t fully grown out of the quirks that Adam used to find adorable. “Nick and Cole are uh..out somewhere and Kenny is..”
“Oh.” Adam can’t help it. He steps forward slightly, trying his best not to crowd Matt in on his doorway and glimpses down the hallway as if making sure he wasn’t going to be randomly jumped. He can’t help but look down at Matt when he picks up the small anxious sound that the smaller man makes when Adam squirms into his space. “Are you..okay?” It’s a stupid question because Matt has started chewing on his bottom lip, pulling at the skin until it comes off in small see-through slithers that he drops into his mouth. He’s anxious and by the way his eyes are flicking across Adam’s face, wide and helplessly annoyed, stressed and inside his own head.
Some twists in Adam’s mind, that stupid southern politeness that makes Adam step back and hold the door open for Matt, gesturing with his head when Matt tilts his confused and opens his reddening lips to protest. “Make yourself at home?” Adam mumbles, raising his hand to gesture around his small hotel room with his toothbrush. He feels his cheeks blanche slightly when Matt makes an effort to smile. “Sorry about the mess..”
Matt looks around, spots the small collection of messy clothes and the outfit neatly folded on the chair beside the bed. “Yeah..it's really messy…” He tries to put laughter into his tone but it only quips up with anxiousness. He’s not exactly sure why he came to Adam, they’re not really friends, hell they haven’t really spoken since Kenny returned. But he needs someone outside the Elite to drag him out of his own head, and they were friends. Once.
He perches awkwardly at the edge of Hangman's bed, smiles at his boots tucked under the wooden bedframe. Adam’s always been a man of routine and structure. “A place for everything and everything in its place” he used to tell them in Japan, picking up and folding Matt’s boxers into small squares to tuck neatly into the front of his suitcase. The memory makes Matt smile, warmth pooling in his stomach. He misses Japan sometimes, with its bright lights and streets and rules and food that he couldn’t really eat. And the one hotel room where Adam would curl up between him and Nick, nose pressing into his collarbone for comfort when his anxiety brought loudness to his brain. He misses Japan and trust and Kenny the way he was before, the way he was with them under Kota’s warm gaze- loving and caring and gentle.
“Hey Matt, what's wrong?” Adam talking almost scares him, he straightens his spine and stares up at him like a meerkat watching a hawn before his brain registers that he is in fact that hawk; the predator coming into Adam’s space. Sitting on his bed like he belongs there. Matt slumps again, stares at the floor until Adam’s weight makes the mattress groan under them. “Matty. Talk to me.”
Adam’s looking at him with eyes as green as emeralds and summer nights decorated with fireflies and the healthiest crops. Adam is looking at him with softness and concern in his eyes and Matt sighs. “I lost.” His voice is small, rough from disuse. “I keep losing. I’m bringing the Elite down! I keep making us lose and it's all my fault and Kenny is getting more and more frustrated and it’s upsetting Nick and I just don't know what to do anymore. I’m trying..I’m really trying!” Now that Matt’s started, the tsunami of words won’t stop. They’re flooding out his mouth and over his teeth and collecting on the carpet floor of his former friend's hotel room. “I don’t know if I can keep going..I can’t keep letting my family down..”
“Matty.” Adam’s voice is barely above a whisper, so soft against Matt’s heaving breaths and rough voice that he almost misses it. Until Adam takes his hands between his and squeezes tight enough that it makes Matt look up from the floor, teary eyes blinking at him. “Oh Matty, you don’t let anyone down y’know that right? Ya lost the trios titles, but you’ve never needed gold to show people how great you are.” Adam takes one of his hands off Matt’s, raises his chin with his knuckles and wipes a stray tear off the apple of Matt’s cheek. “Kenny’s getting frustrated because it’s Kenny. But he loves you, more than…anything-”
“Not more than Kota..” Matt admits, eyes flicking over Adam’s. He smiles sadly when the greens of his eyes flicker with understanding. “He loves nobody more than Kota..” He hears Adam sigh and it draws his eyes down towards his lips. There’s toothpaste drying between his top and bottom lip and Matt leans closer, eyes closed as he rests his forehead against Adams. “I’m so tired, Hanger.”
Adam feels Matt’s hands trembling under his, spots his blown out pupils when his eyes open halfway. He lets Matt search his eyes, lips perfectly parted and red. Adam is the one that's brave enough, that's foolish enough to let Matt kiss the toothpaste taste out his mouth, lets Matt whine into his mouth as Adam licks across his bottom lip, across his teeth when Matt opens his mouth. He tugs at Matt’s hair slightly when he pulls away, heart hammering and lips tingling. “Matty-”
“I-...” Matt’s blinking at him all slow and cat-like and the fire that’s burning in Adam’s stomach, anger and lust and bereavement shaking up and opening his veins. “Adam?”
“You’re not failing Matty.” Adam breaths into the gap between his mouth, grinning when Matt shifts forwards to try and close into his space. He shifts away, straightening his back and looking at Matt through his bottom eyelashes; green eyes dark summer leaves. “say it.”
“I-I’m” Matt hiccups out, tongue feeling heavy and useless in his mouth. He’s shifting, squirming in his space on Adam’s bed, pulling at his shorts. He feels Adam’s fingers tangle into his hair, nails brushing against the crown of Matt’s scalp and it’s enough to turn his brain to mush in his skull. “I’m not failing…” He breathes out and it feels like a small weight is lowered off his shoulders when Adam smiles satisfyingly.
“Good.” Adam breaths and Matt nearly preens, all brown eyes and brown out pupils sparkling with the praise. “Ya doin so good Matty.”
“Doin’ good.” Matt gasps out, legs falling jelly-like and numb. When Adam smiles into another kiss, Matt nips at his bottom lip, giggling when Adam gasps. “Please?” His eyebrows crease and he shifts forward. “Wanna be good! Please? Please!” He feels pathetic for begging in his shakingly tearful voice, but Adam presses his finger against Matt’s lips and nods.
He settles kisses against his forehead, one heavy and calming before resting his hands on Matt’s shoulders, toying with his hair. Adam wraps it around his fingers, letting it fall around his fingers and hums pleased. “Always so pretty baby.” He whispers, shifting Matt to straddle his hips. Each movement is slow and well placed, like Adam’s trying to drink Matt in with all his garish patterned clothes and reddening face. “Y’want me to get ya undressed baby?” Adam’s words are slurring together, lust drunk and nervous as he gazes up at Matt like he’s something important; a championship title hung fingertips out of reach, an angel standing at his bedside. Matt nods slowly, grinds into Adam’s lap with a despertness that makes him moan.
“Wann do good!” Matt complains again, impatiently. Adam’s fingers are toying with his shirt buttons, lips brushing against the tanned skin of his chest, stubble scuffing up the skin over his nipples as Adam takes one in his mouth, tongue tracing over the small bud. It makes Matt feel drunk, head spinning, heart racing. He grips at Adam’s hair, his shoulders, anything that Matt can dig his round nails into while Adam works. He feels like he’s going to float away. There’s a chill that hits Matt’s sweating skin when his shirt is dropped casually onto the floor beside Hangman's boots.
“Doin’ so good baby girl-” It slips out on Adam’s exhale, rips swollen and pinked and Matt nearly keens, arching his back into Adam’s warm fingertips. He hears Adam giggling and stares down at him through barely open eyes. “Nobody’s called you that in a while hmm?”
Matt doesn’t answer Adam’s question. Keeps his lips pressed perfectly together as Adam unbuttons his shorts and carefully rolls his hip. His weight is crushing Matt into the mattress and it’s the only thing in the world that matters; not the flurry of snow that brushes against Adam’s window or the fact that Matt lost the match. Again. Just Adams shoulders pressing against his hips as his lips press kisses against well-trimmed hair. His skin comes up in red fireworks and it feels like heaven. He’s doing good because Adam keeps glancing up at him, smiling at him against his skin and Matt feels a coil twist in his stomach.
“Please?” He can barely manage the word; the letters come out a garbled groan as Adam strips his boxers off the rest of the way and kneels at Matt’s feet, still in his pajama bottoms. He’s looking at him, fingers working over a smudge of self tanner into his thigh. Matt whines and Adam laughs, large hands just holding his legs, massaging knots of self-doubt out of his muscles.
“Are you blushing baby girl?” Adam asks through a small fit of laughter. He’s no longer on the bed. He stands by Matt’s face, untangling the strings and letting his pajama pants drop around his ankles. There’s no longer the glimmer of shame in his eyes that Matt distantly remembers whenever Adam would strip for him, he’d try to cover the scars on his hips with his hands or squirm away when Matt would try to sink his teeth into the fat of his hips. scars or the fat around his hips. Matt always thought Adam was beautiful; a perfectly mirrored statue of Aphrodite made out of heavy bones and marbled eyes that Matt could stare into and find something new every time.
He presses his face into Adam’s crotch, letting the wetness soak through the black cotton of his boxers and onto his cheek. It’s dirty and makes Matt feel like a whore but it’s all worth it because Adam whines low in his chest and pets at Matt’s cheek. “Not blushing.” Matt mumbles, tongue brushing against Matt’s clothed dick. He knows he’s teasing but the way that Adam stumbles, rests his hand on Matt’s leg like he’s able to support him, makes him grin. “Physical activity makes me red.”
Adam tugs his face away from suckling at the head of his cock through his boxes, takes his face in his hands and smiles down at him. “Ain’t done nothin yet baby girl.” Matt’s soft in his hands and it takes Adam no time at all to have him sitting up against the pillows, kissing him back as he drags his hand slowly across his cock, grinning when Matt moans into his mouth.
“Whose fault is that?” Adam mumbles, hooking Matt’s leg around his hips, hand trailing against his hole. The sound Matt makes is enough for Adam’s ears to turn red. “Needy girl, y’doing so well baby. So good, I’m gonna reach over and get the stuff yeah?” Adam waits for Matt to nod before moving, slowly rummaging through the pocket of his suitcase.He tosses lube onto the bed, watching it bounce from the corner of his eyes. “Fuck.”
“Wanna.” Matt replies, rolling onto his side to stare up at Adam, lip puckering out when he sees his eyebrows knitted together. “Wha’sup?” Matt crawls to lay his head on Adam’s lap, massaging his thumb across the pale blonde hair just above his dick. He watches Adam’s stomach tighten.
“No condoms baby.” Adam whispers, voice wound tight as he stares down at Matt’s hand then up at Matt’s face. “You wanna continue? I’m clean….its uh been a while.” Lust makes his tongue loose and heavy in his tongue and by the quick nods and hyper whines that fall from Matt’s lips, it's been a while for him too. “Okay, shh now, shh. Go lay back down.” Matt nods again, pressed his lips just above Adam’s leaking cock against his stomach before crawling on wobbling arms and legs, back to where he was laying, half propped up against Adam’s pillows.
With his tanned legs spread and cock leaking across his stomach, Matt looks like an angel, he always has in Adam’s eyes. For a moment, he just looks at him, eyes soft and filled with love as he crawls to sit between Matt’s legs. Adam strokes himself a few times, trying struggling to keep his eyes open. He wants to commit this moment to memory; Matt laid out and needy and his. He takes Matt’s tip in his mouth, tongue tracing over beads of pre-cum that leak down his throat and the world fades away. It’s just Adam and Matt.
He sucks until Matt’s whining, legs draped loosely around Adam's shoulders and his cum is leaking over Adam’s chin. His dick lays neglected against his stomach, leaking and sore but it doesn’t matter. He’s making Matt feel good. He makes Matt know that he’s good. That he isn’t a failure because he’s the only one that turns Adam’s brain into a quiet mush. He slowly pulls off Matt, letting his mouth hang open. He shows Matt his mouth full of cum, and lets his throat flutter as he swallows it down.
“Need you..” Matt gasps, tears bubbling over in his eyes. Adam crowds his space for a few moments, leaning on his elbows and pressing his hips into Matt’s. He brushes his lips across his cheeks, licking at his tears and it makes Matt smile, blissed out. “Why?”
“Y’too pretty to cry. The prettiest girl I've ever seen.” Adam whispers, laying his head against Matt’s chest. He uncaps the bottle, squeezes lube around his fingers and drags them slowly across Matt’s hole until he feels like Matt is wet enough that he can slide one finger in. Matt’s back arches and the moan that slips past his lips is one that Adam’s only heard on porn. It’s enough to make his head spin as he lazily fingers Matt open, letting him slowly ride his fingers until he’s open and begging, spit running down from his open mouth.
Adam’s careful to line himself up, forehead pressed against Matt’s. They’re staring into each other's eyes as Adam pushes through Matt’s tight ring and instantly feels his brain shatter as he bottoms out. Matt’s so warm around him that it almost feels like home. He could stay like this forever; inside Matt while he pants into his mouth and twitches around the end of his cock. Adam wants to stay like this forever but Matt starts thrusting backwards, groaning as he opens up around Adam.
He knows that Matt’s not going to last long, he can feel him leaking over his abs, their cum mixing together on their stomachs as Adam shifts and thrusts tiredly into him. “So good- fuck Matty so fuckin good!” He groans, trying to keep pace with Matt’s eager thrusts as he tries to ride Adam while on his back. It’s a beautiful sight and Adam wants nothing more than to just stay here, but the coil is tightening in his stomach and the glorious pressure is starting to tingle in his back, rising through his hips. He stutters, moaning into Matt’s ear. “Close baby.” He gasps, angling his hips differently as he thrusts into Matt harder, chasing his own growing orgasm. Matt’s nodding, choking on his own pleasure as tears rolled down his face.
“Daddy- hurts good- so good! Please! Please! Wanna be good! Please- ah!” Matt’s voice is high pitched and trembling, rocking out through his lips like Adam’s fucking it out of him. He’s so close and he takes Matt’s face in his hands, kissing him as the coil snaps and Adam feels himself fill Matt, his hips stutter and Matt’s face smooths out as Adam pumps into him, gasping and trembling against his cheek.
Adam’s desperately slow to pull out of Matt, badly repressing the groan that punches out of him as Matt’s tightness slides away and his own cum leaks out of Matt. “So pretty Matty. So good.” He gasps, leaning down to kiss Matt. He feels Matt’s dick leaking neglected and sore against his stomach and Adam feels guilty for not making him cum.
He pulls Matt closer, letting him lay on his arm and snuggle into his side as Adam strokes him slowly, fingers rolling and smeering pre-cum across Matt’s swollen head. “Cmon baby girl, cum-” He has to remind himself to breathe, Matt copies his heavy intake of air and grins stupidly when they release it together. “Cum for daddy.” Adam keeps the same lazy pace as Matt spills, warm and gorgeous, across his knuckles.
“See how important you are baby?” Adam whispers after they’ve cleaned up and Matt’s fixed his hair. He’s dressed in Adam’s shirt and a spare pair of boxers that are a size too big for him. “You always have been important, y'know that right?” Matt nods against his chest, nose pressing into his chest. Tiredness has washed away any desire of around two.
As the Canadian weather plunges, Matt curls closer to Adam and smiles, finally feeling weightless. He may keep losing but he won something that night. He won Adam’s heart back. And that’s better than any championship title. Adam watches his phone flash up, shifts to look at it and Matt whines at the movement. “What is it?” He whispers, tucking his head deeper into Adam’s neck, lips brushing against his pulsepoint. “Can’t it wait till the morning?”
Adam sighs, sinking back against the pillows as Matt straddles his hips again. “Yeah, I don’t wanna talk about it tonight.” He leans up, lets Matt kiss him messily, sleep making his movements sloppy. “It can wait till the morning.”