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Drawing in a breath to steady himself, Ben pressed the button. As the shutter whirred, the grasshopper flew away. “Damn it!” he swore, under his breath. That pose had been perfect...
The bird had cooperated, though, and the flowers were nice. And it was getting late. Ben put the old fashioned camera back in his satchel and pulled out the other half of his lunch. Jamming the sandwich into his mouth, he headed back to school, the warm September breeze refreshing.
Less pleasant were the poorly lit hallways, and even worse was the thick hand, shoving him roughly into the lockers. “Move, fairy,” a thug grunted.
“Fuck you, caveman,” Ben snapped back, cursing himself for letting his mind wander for even an instant.
“Get any fairy photos today?” one of the other jocks leered.
“Fairies aren't real, dumbass,” Ben sighed.
“Sure they are,” the first one taunted, pretending to take a picture of Ben. He then threw his 'camera' at him, the aggressive movement making him flinch. Various slurs filled the air as they moved on, next period imminent, and Ben was left to rub his arm and focus on the dark room that awaited him after class.
“I thought I told you to get a haircut!”
“I thought I told you I liked my hair the way it is!”
“Don't be stupid, you look like a girl!”
This was a common argument in Nick's house. Invariably, it would end in a bedroom door being slammed, and a stereo being turned up.
Nick threw his bookbag on his bed and pulled out his homework, but after solving a few basic equations his mind wandered. Tossing the school notebook to the side, he then withdrew his drawing pad, opening the almost full sketchbook to a recent drawing of Lulu in one corner and Alexandra in another. Turning to the next empty page, his eyes wandered around the room, and settled on his copy of Melee. He could try Link again...? He flipped back to a few previous attempts. They're all so girly , he thought to himself. Even by Link standards.
This is how Nick found himself drawing Camilla, again.
Δ Δ Δ
Serena was chronically early. She sat in a secluded booth of a cute pizza restaurant, sipping on her water and nervously checking her phone. Finally, after what felt like an hour, a clack of heels drew her attention. She looked up to see her date moving towards her.
“Serena?” the woman asked, blushing already. “Hi, it's me. Quinta.”
Serena smiled. “I know who you are, silly. You asked me out.”
Quinta slid into the booth across from her. “Yes, but... it's the first time I've ever been... you know, one on one, with anyone from the discord.”
“I suppose I know what you mean,” Serena admitted. A notification drew her attention. “Another one! Our friends are losing it. You wouldn't believe the DMs I've been getting.”
“They're just being supportive,” Quinta reasoned. She pulled out her phone and brought up a private message of her own. “'You two are individually the cutest dorks I have ever met and I cannot handle the thought of you together',” she read. “'I'm so sad that I can't be there to watch you fuckin' nerds be awkward at each other,'” she continued, beginning to laugh.
“That’s our Amy,” Serena giggled. “I got one like that too. All heart, no tact.”
This is when the waitress came by, and the two placed their order. Meat lovers on one side for Serena, vegetarian on the other for Quinta. And garlic fingers, of course.
They were indeed awkward at each other for a few minutes after that, smiling, both happy to be there but unsure of what to say. Their hours of conversation online seemed so much easier...
A funny look suddenly passed over Quinta's face. “I'm sorry, I'll be right back,” she sighed. “Bloody spiro.”
Serena watched Quinta look towards the washrooms, but she didn't get up right away. “...did you want me to come with you?” Serena offered.
“Oh, no, that's fine,” Quinta replied, blushing again. “I just... I just have to be a big girl about it.”
Quinta scooped up her purse and headed for the washroom, and Serena kept an eye on her nonchalantly (she hoped). All was quiet until another lady at another table stood up and headed to the washroom herself. Serena was surprised to find herself holding her breath as the lady passed her on her way, but then Quinta slid back into her seat, the encounter avoided.
“Good job,” Serena declared, exhaling at last.
Quinta waved her hand. “Oh, it hardly counts. There was no one in there.”
“I'm telling you, nobody cares. I've been going in there for months,” Serena insisted.
“You still seem surprisingly relieved, though,” Quinta noticed, with a sly grin.
Now it was Serena's turn to blush. “I can be right and still worry about you.”
Quinta smiled and looked at the floor. “You know... it's nice to have someone worry about me.”
Serena reached out and took her hand in her own, bringing Quinta's shining eyes back up. “I know the feeling,” she admitted. “My one regret... well that's a lie, but a regret is that I couldn't meet you sooner.”
“I would have liked that a lot,” Quinta replied, looking across the table into Serena's warm gaze.
Δ Δ Δ
It wasn't in the drawer. It wasn't on the dresser. It wasn't on the nightstand.
“Mom!” Ben shouted. “Have you seen my telescope lens?”
The door swung open a minute later. “No, I haven't seen it,” his mother replied. “Though I don't know how you think you can find anything with a room this messy. Maybe you should clean it up?”
Ben gestured to the floor of the room dramatically. “None of these skirts and dresses are mine. Maybe Suzanne could clean it up?”
“You know your sister is busy with cheerleading. There's a home game tonight.”
“Yes, and I need my lens if I'm going to get any pictures for the paper.”
His mother rolled her eyes. “You could have at least tried out for the team. Clean up this mess. I'm sure it'll turn up.”
She turned and left, leaving Ben to glare at the doorway in resigned disbelief for a few minutes. It was not the first time he had been made to clean up after her, and he also knew if he messed anything up, he'd just get yelled at again. He pulled out a few clip hangers and began putting the skirts back in the closet, trying not to grumble.
Next, he picked up the three sundresses and tossed them on her bed, then picked one up again and put it on a hanger. As he turned back to the closet, he caught a glimpse of himself in Suzanne's mirror, the dress lining up with his body. He brought it in against himself, holding it there for a while- a minute, an hour?- as if in a trance. His mother's footsteps in the hall broke him out of it just in time, though, and he put it back in the closet as she returned.
“I checked the living room and kitchen; it's not out here,” she reported, sighing.
“Yeah, thanks,” Ben replied, shaken at what he had just done.
The camera lens turned out to be under Suzanne's bed, where he definitely did not leave it, but he was in too much of a daze to curse her out right now. That was close...
Nick popped a chicken nugget into his mouth and chewed glumly. How could he be in a room with a thousand people his age, and yet be so alone? He had posted a few pieces of art to a bulletin board online which seemed to be getting some attention, but that didn't do him much good here. Maybe he would go to the library after eating these gross nuggets.
He panned his view across the room, and he caught the gaze of a random guy still in line for lunch. Surprised, Nick looked away immediately, then had a thought and pulled out a sketchbook. It wasn't just video game characters Nick liked to draw; last night he had been inspired to draw a glamourous woman; long, flowing hair, an inviting smile, and a sparkling dress draped over a generous figure. Why did that boy in line make him think of her...?
The clunk of a lunch tray hitting the table prompted Nick to slam the book shut. It was that guy!
“Mind if I sit here?” he asked. “Crowded today.”
“Not at all,” Nick replied. “Um... I'm Nick.”
“Ben,” the boy replied. “...are you okay?”
Nick shook his head. “I'm fine.”
Ben dunked a nugget in sweet & sour sauce and bit it. “Well, you don't look fine. I think I've seen you around before. Didn't you used to have long hair?”
Nick glowered at the table. “My dad made me cut it.”
This gave Ben pause. “What a prick. That's bullshit. It's your hair.”
“Tried to tell him that,” Nick sighed. “Well, it'll grow back, I guess.”
“Anyway,” Ben continued. “I was gonna go to the library after. I unlocked Mewtwo last night and I have no clue what to do with him. I need to look up some strats. You play Smash?”
“Yeah,” Nick replied, cheering up a bit. “I like Zelda... and Link, I guess.”
“Ha, neat,” Ben chuckled. “I splash around but I guess Mario and Peach are two of my better ones.”
The two chatted over the mid tier cafeteria food for a while longer, before dumping their trays and heading for the computer lab.
Δ Δ Δ
It was a surprisingly warm night, the autumn moon still hanging large in the sky. The city's largest park offered many amenities, such as the lengthy walking trail that Serena and Quinta found themselves on. Their typical stylish heels had been temporarily traded in for more sensible flats, as the path turned from pavement to wood to dirt and back again. Hand in hand, the two slowly glode through the park in a comfortable silence, one occasionally glancing at the other and smiling as she took in the sights. The playground was eerily peaceful, the duck pond was surprisingly still, and the leaves of the trees and the hems of their skirts were gently rustled by the calm breeze. It was a perfect night, and it was just for them.
Serena's phone beeped, and she pulled it from her purse without breaking stride, but stopped suddenly when she read the message.
“What is it?” Quinta asked.
“Oh, nothing,” Serena sighed. “Just my mom, somehow able to make even a check in transphobic.” They had been walking for some time anyway, so the two retired to a nearby lakeside bench for a rest. “'I want to know if my son is safe.' Fuck you, mom.”
“That's so awful,” Quinta replied, voice going low. “It's been two years. What is wrong with her?”
Serena was deep into a response, however, which she began to read out. “'Your daughter is perfectly safe, being as gay as possible with the cutest damn lesbian she's ever met.' Send.” And she made a show of turning her phone to silent and putting it away again. Turning back to Quinta, she reached out and took her hand again. “Not one of them calls me Serena. And they wonder why I don't call.” She glared into the woods for a moment, then exhaled and turned back to her. “I don't think I've heard anything about your parents. Are they any better? If you want to tell me, of course.”
Quinta just sighed. “There's nothing to tell,” she shrugged, after a moment. “Cut me out that day. Blocked on everything. They could be dead for all I know.”
“That's awful, I'm so sorry,” Serena replied. “I just can't understand how someone could do that to their kid.”
“It's not like they were anything special before,” Quinta reasoned. “They mostly just screamed at me to cut my hair until I did it, then they ignored me for a few months until it was time to force me to conform again. I was alone so much.”
“Yeah, me too,” Serena nodded. “I had an older sister and she was so blatantly their favourite. You'd think they would be happy to have another daughter, but nope, it's only wrong when the loser child does it.”
The two stood up again, the moonlit path beckoning them onward. “You're not a loser,” Quinta insisted. “You're the coolest person I've ever met. Not to mention the sweetest.”
Serena giggled. “Tell that to the jerks in my high school. A friend like you back then would have done me a world of good.”
The two walked on for a few more minutes, before Quinta stopped. “I don't want to talk about this anymore,” she declared, as Serena turned to look at her.. “We can't change the past, and it's so unfair that we had to hide for so long. But we're free now, we're finally ourselves, and we have our whole lives ahead of us to be happy. So let's focus on that.”
“You're right, as always,” Serena smiled. She brought her free hand up to brush a few errant strands of hair out of Quinta's face, fingertips brushing her cheek. “Let's celebrate what we have,” she suggested, before leaning in for a kiss, their glasses clinking gently against each other. She hadn't planned to hold it for too long, but Serena soon felt Quinta's arms slide around her body, pressing herself into her and not letting her go.
Δ Δ Δ
Suzanne entered the room and huffed. “Are you nerds planning to be in here all day?”
Nick looked up at her from his spot on Ben's bed, with a smile. “We've got new Pokémon at last, a pack of fresh batteries, and nowhere to be for the whole weekend.” He wiggled his GBA for emphasis.
“Remember how I conned you into asking mom to get me a TV in here so I could stay out of your way?” Ben asked, less kindly. “Where would you rather we go?”
“I just don't want my room smelling like teenage boys,” Suzanne explained, arms crossed. Ben was playing Ruby through his GameCube, and Suzanne idly watched for a moment. “...isn't that the girl character?”
“Yeah, what of it?” Ben asked. “The guy looked like a dork.”
“I like her hair,” Nick added. “I'm using her too.”
“Whatever,” she sighed, rolling her eyes in a familiar way. “Do what you want, weirdos. Just don't trash my room.”
Ben waited for the footsteps in the hall to recede before the shit talk could begin in earnest. “Her room, for fuck's sake. She'd put me in the garage if she could.”
“Surely she's not that bad,” Nick remarked.
Ben gave his friend a knowing look. “Stop thinking with your dick, my dude. She is a wretched human being and you deserve better.” His attention was suddenly brought back to the screen. “Oh, hold on! It's your Seedot!”
“Took it long enough,” Nick smiled, reaching into his bag for his link cable in anticipation.
Not even these practiced nerds could stay cooped up in one room for an entire weekend, so on Sunday evening, the pair made plans to go to a showing put on by the university's anime club.
“Do you need a ride?” Ben's mom asked, as the two munched on pizza.
“No thanks, it's not that far,” Ben replied.
“It was surprisingly warm today,” Nick added.
She was about to take another slice of pizza and head for the living room when she took note of Ben's hair. “Isn't it about time for a haircut?” she reminded.
Ben shrugged. “That's not currently a priority.”
His mom looked at Nick's hair, which was already in dire need of a cut. “Suit yourself,” she decided, as she left the room. “Just remember, you're still in high school.”
Eye rolling was a common trait in Ben's family. “That's her nice way of reminding me that everyone already thinks I'm gay.”
“If they thought that while you had short hair, what is cutting it going to do?” Nick reasoned. “Maybe we could start a trend.”
Ben nearly choked on his pizza in surprise. “Yeah, Ben and Nick, style icons,” he chuckled.
“We are definitely cool enough to do that,” Nick asserted, with a grin.
Ben stuffed the last bite of crust into his mouth and stood up. “Well, let's go do something intensely cool, like watch videotapes of old 90's anime all night.”
Nick picked up his bookbag and followed him out of the room. “Sounds like a good time to me.”
Δ Δ Δ
Serena was gasping for air, her hair disheveled, her face and neck covered in lipstick that wasn't hers. She turned to Quinta as she lay back down next to her, the ordinarily very well put together woman in a similar state. “I love you,” she breathed, not for the first time tonight.
“You better,” Quinta giggled, coyly licking her fingers clean. “...wow, this black lipstick gets everywhere. It's all over you.”
“I will wear it proudly,” Serena declared. “How did it get on your fingers, though?”
Quinta flashed her girlfriend a devilish grin. “Blood not back to your brain yet?”
Serena sighed, realizing quickly. “Ha ha; I guess not!” She pulled Quinta close, and the two snuggled together to catch their breath. She turned her head to kiss her after a few minutes, which Quinta went along with for a moment.
“Give me a minute,” Quinta eventually breathed. “You're relentless~”
“Mmm, and you're welcome.” After cuddling for a moment, Serena reached a free hand out to grab one of Quinta's old sketchbooks from the nightstand for them to flip through. “My favourite part about your old art,” Serena remarked, holding the book open with one hand while Quinta's free hand turned the pages, “is how you took these absolute fucking legendary videogame babes and said 'what if more boob'.”
“Well excuse me,” Quinta replied with mock indignation. “I like big boobs. I think they're nice. Besides, I was a lonely teenager who was by myself a lot.”
“In that case, I'm surprised these books survived this long,” Serena teased.
“That happened once! ” Quinta laughed. “And don’t act like you wouldn't have ruined a few!”
The two kissed again, then Quinta turned another page. “What game is she from?” Serena asked.
“I don't think she's from a game,” Quinta remarked, thinking back. “I didn't only draw game characters. I think this book was from like 20 years ago... I don't remember why I drew her.”
Quinta went to turn the page, but Serena stopped her. “Am I crazy...” Serena thought out loud. “If I ate, like, a solid brick of estrogen for breakfast every morning and got incredibly lucky, I feel like I might sort of look like her.”
Quinta looked back and forth between the drawing and her lover. “I can kind of see it, yeah,” she admitted. “Wow, what a coincidence.”
That was pretty much the end of that book, so Serena gently put it back on the nightstand, then turned back to her and gently slid her nails down Quinta's side. The smaller girl shuddered as Serena's dangerous fingers traced lines over her hip and onto her thigh, circling around and coming back up just in time to feel Quinta spring back to life in her hand.
“My turn,” Serena declared, voice low, before pressing her lips into Quinta's and holding her tight.
Δ Δ Δ
Ben jolted awake, his thoughts a jumbled mess. It was barely 6 AM on a teacher inservice day, and there was absolutely no reason for him to be awake, but here he was. The only thought that pierced the fog as he pulled on some clothes was that he had to talk to Nick.
He didn't go to Nick's house, though. The two had made plans to meet in the woods behind the high school later that day, but he found himself walking there almost without realizing where he was going. And sure enough, Nick was already there when he arrived, doodling distractedly at the back of an idyllic clearing.
“Hey,” Nick greeted.
“Nick, I have to ask you something...” Ben started.
Nick put down his pencil and waited, but no question came. “What is it?” he asked.
Ben was clearly struggling with something. “It's... I had a dream,” he started. “It's fucked up. You know what, never mind.”
Ben looked like he was about to turn and leave. Nick put down his sketchbook and stood up. “Wait,” he called out. “I... I had a weird dream too. Ask me.”
Ben looked all around, making sure they were alone. He walked right up to Nick, and looked around again. “This is the weirdest fucking thing. You're going to think I’ve lost it.”
“I won't, I promise,” Nick replied.
“Alright... fuck... I had a dream, and there were these two girls, and...”
Nick's eyes widened a little.
“And they just seemed so familiar, and I think...” Ben stopped again, for nearly a full minute, staring at the ground. Nick wanted to reach out to him, but he was paralyzed himself. Ben finally looked up again. “Are you...” he said, his voice dropping even further. “Nick, are you... have you ever heard the name... Quinta?”
Nick stood there in silence, too shocked to speak right away. “That’s… I've never told anyone that name,” Nick eventually replied, softly.
“Am I crazy? How could I even come up with that?” Ben asked.
Nick shook his head. “No, you're not crazy. I think I saw something similar... Serena.”
The two stared at each other for a long moment. “Why are we dreaming about being girls?” Ben asked. “Why do we have girl names picked out? Why have I… wanted to…”
“I don't know,” Nick replied. “What are we...?”
The two stared at the grass. “I thought it was just me,” Ben breathed. “I thought there was something wrong with me. I couldn't tell anyone. I never would have guessed that you...”
“Is this why I hate cutting my hair...?” Nick asked, running his hand through it. “Is that my real self trying to get out? ...should we tell someone?”
“Not a chance, my dude,” Ben replied. “Er... my girl?”
Nick's face lit up when Ben called him that. “That feels... so perfect. It’s true… I'm a... girl. And my name is Quinta.”
“And I'm Serena... and I'm a girl too. …what the fuck .” Serena offered her hand to Quinta, who took it after a moment. “We can't use these names when anyone else is around. Not until we find out what this is, at least. There has to be a rational explanation. We can't both be broken.”
“Broken?” Quinta asked. “The last twenty seconds have been the most right I've ever felt. This is fucked up, but... it's also not?”
Serena nodded. “You're right. Whatever this is, we'll figure it out... together.” After a moment, she stepped forward and hugged Quinta, and it was a long time before either let go.
Δ Δ Δ
Elsewhere, elsewhen, Serena and Quinta awoke with a start in Quinta's bed, sitting up in confusion, neither able to get more than word fragments out as they each found new memories, many wonderful, a few heartbreaking, some blissfully mundane, but all of them shared. With speech having failed them, the two fell into each other's arms, sobbing with joy.
And in the back of an old sketchbook, they would later find a photograph of a twentysomething Quinta standing in a secluded forest grove, modeling a sundress and sandals, smiling radiantly in the morning light. It was held in the book with a paper clip, the page itself featuring a portrait of a twentysomething Serena, resplendent in a sparkling evening gown, standing in a moonlit park.