Chapter Text
"A Bit Like Having Vertigo, Quite A Lot Like Being Drunk."
Janet On What Love Is in Hulu’s Rosaline.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0jWG0ZY8hI
Once Arisu accepts he’s stuck in the hellhole that is Utopia High School, things get better. He falls into a rhythm. He goes to classes praying to not be forced to play a stupid game and, most of the time, his wish is granted. He enjoys Philosophy with Kyuma the most. He hangs out with Usagi and is still nervous about it, since he’s never spent that much time with a girl. He can imagine Karube and Chota merciless teasing if they could see him. Then there’s Kuina, who’s fun and carefree, and Chishiya, who remains a mystery, one Arisu enjoys. The boys have been spending more time together lately, mirroring Kuina and Usagi’s blossoming friendship. Then there’s his roommates with whom he’s almost back to his goofy self, the one who would ride on bicycles squished between Karube and Chota, laughing into Tokyo’s afternoon.
There is, however, something Arisu can’t get used to or, more specifically, someone. Niragi won’t let him be. He doesn’t physically attack him the way he does Tatta or others, but he bothers him as much as he can, and Arisu doesn’t get why. Arisu is not one to hate people, and Niragi is not the exception. He intervenes whenever he and his goons threaten people he cares about, but that’s it. He’s tried reaching out to the boy, but it has been pointless. Whatever Niragi holds against him, it’s clearly personal. Arisu just chooses to not focus on it. Sometimes though, Niragi makes that an impossible mission.
It's the case this Wednesday morning. Arisu is strolling down the corridor with Usagi by his side. He’s telling her a story about that one-time Karube asked out a girl who turned out to be their teacher, and she’s laughing about it. Arisu likes the sound of Usagi’s laugh. She’s also twirling the end of her hair with her fingers which, according to Kuina, is a flirty gesture. Arisu blushes just thinking about it. He’s smiling like he hasn’t in months, or even years, when someone smacks his head from behind. Arisu doesn’t need to turn around to identify the culprit, so he takes a deep breath.
-Just ignore him, it’s not worth it.
Arisu looks at Usagi and nods at her, then keeps on walking.
-Hey, Bambi! Got yourself a girlfriend? Are you official already?
Arisu rolls his eyes at the nickname and keeps going.
-I’ll let you be if you pass her around, huh, what do you say? Last Boss is very interested in her.
That’s the last straw for Arisu who turns around and faces Niragi.
-Show some respect.
Niragi laughs with goons, snorting at Arisu.
-Look, Bambi has found his tongue. Are you going to defend her honor, Bambi?
-I don’t need anyone defending my honor for me.
Last Boss mimics licking with his tongue as he looks at Usagi while she glares at him. Arisu can’t help but walk towards the creep but, before he can reach him, he’s pushed with strength against a locker; his left side is left on fire.
-Learn your place, Bambi.
Niragi spits at him before leaving with his clique, laughing.
Oh, how Arisu wished Karube was there.
Usagi doesn’t react the way Arisu expects her to. Instead of being met with empathy and worry, he’s met with a furious glare directed at him.
-Couldn’t you just let it go?
Arisu frowns at her as he rubs his pained shoulder.
-I was defending you.
-I can defend myself, Arisu.
-Well, then excuse me for worrying about you!
-I see what you’re doing.
-What am I doing, Usagi? Defending myself from a bully?
Usagi narrows her eyes at Arisu.
-You take every little chance there is to put yourself in danger. It doesn’t matter if it’s a game in a class or Niragi provoking you, you just take the chance to get hurt. I don’t think I’ve ever seen your face unmarred, and we’ve been attending school for over two months.
-I don’t do it on purpose, Usagi.
-Don’t you? I know people like you, Arisu, and I’m not up for it.
Arisu frowns as Usagi, angrier than he’s ever seen her, storms away.
He can hear Chishiya whistle as he and Kuina stroll down the corridor towards him.
-Trouble in paradise? Damn, you’re about to break up before dating. That’s fast.
There’s a trace of humor in Chishiya’s voice, and Arisu doesn’t need to look at him to know he’s smirking.
-She’s mad at me.
-No shit, who would have thought? What did you do?
He turns around to glare at Kuina.
-Why is it automatically something I did?
-Statistics.
Arisu rolls his eyes at her as he sighs and slumps his shoulders.
-Niragi pushed me into a locker. She got mad.
-I’m sure you’ll be able to resolve your little quarrel, Romeo. Let’s go to class.
Chishiya whacks Arisu’s head with his copy of Romeo and Juliet, which they’re reading in literature, as he keeps walking towards class. Arisu is about to follow him when Kuina’s hand on his wrist stops him.
-Arisu, be careful with Niragi. He’s dangerous.
-I know that, but what am I supposed to do? It’s like he’s obsessed with me.
-Yes, and that’s exactly why you must stay away from him. If my suspicions are correct, he’ll hate you harder than anybody else, and it will only get worse.
Arisu frowns at her, but nods, walking to class lost in confusion.
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Sogo Shitara was an interesting teacher to say the least.
Arisu remembers seeing him for the first time: very long hair worn loose, ripped jeans beyond reason, jewelry all over and fluorescent flip-flops as shoes. He had started his first literature class by declaiming Mercutio’s monologue in Romeo and Juliet, and Arisu had been hooked.
“True, I talk of dreams, Which are the children of an idle brain, Begot of nothing but vain fantasy, Which is as thin of substance as the air And more inconstant than the wind, who woos Even now the frozen bosom of the north, And, being anger'd, puffs away from thence, Turning his face to the dew-dropping south.”
If Sogo Shitara were to be a character in Romeo and Juliet, he’d definitely be Mercutio.
Sogo walks into the classroom, opens the windows to let in October’s air, which is getting colder, and drops his bag on the desk he never uses before starting his lessons.
-My dear students, every group of friends have a Romeo. I actually am the Romeo of my group of friends. Romeo is a dreamer who is in love with the idea of love, a true romantic.
Arisu can feel Chishiya rolling his eyes next to him and smirks at the action. Chishiya was definitely not the Romeo of his group of friends.
-His parents are talking power and duty while his friends, Benvolio and Mercutio, are talking fun, but Romeo, Romeo is talking love. It would be logical to talk about Juliet while thinking about Romeo and love, but today we’re talking about Rosaline.
-Who?
Tatta asks the question in a confused tone that makes the whole class laugh and the boy blush with shame.
-Don’t laugh, don’t laugh! It’s a valid question. We never see Rosaline on stage, and we never hear her talk, we know of her because of others. Usagi, humor me, who is Rosaline?
Usagi is not especially fond of literature, but she’s a good student who does her homework religiously, and teachers rely on her. Arisu wonders, not for the first time, what brought her to Utopia High.
-She’s actually the girl Romeo is in love with before he meets Juliet. In fact, he goes to the Capulet’s because Benvolio wants him to forget about her.
Sogo smiles at Usagi and claps at her.
-Exactly! Romeo is sad in the beginning of the play because Rosaline rejects him, wanting to give herself to god and no other man. He describes her as the most beautiful girl there is, so his friends challenge him to go to the Capulet’s where the woman's beauty will put Rosaline’s to shame, and then he meets Juliet.
Sogo walks around the classroom as he speaks, making grand gestures with his arms like he’s a ballet teacher instead of a literature teacher.
-The question is: what is the point of having a character that does not appear in the play? Why is Rosaline in Shakespeare’s play? What’s the point?
-To show Romeo as vain, superficial and easily enamored.
Arisu snorts at Kuina’s words as Chishiya and Usagi smile.
-Ah, that’s a bit harsh, Kuina, but you may be onto something there. Any other hypotheses? Chishiya?
-Don’t look at me. I think Romeo and Juliet are idiots.
Sogo smirks at Chishiya as he listens to hi answer.
-Of course you would. Arisu, you don’t talk much, but seem like a dreamer to me, what do you say?
Arisu takes a moment to find his voice under the class’s scrutiny. He doesn’t like to be the center of attention.
-I think Rosaline is there to prove that Romeo’s love for Juliet is true. His language when talking about Rosaline is very different from the one he uses when he talks about Juliet. He’ll go to the Capulet’s to forget Rosaline by finding a more beautiful girl, but he’ll die if he can’t be with Juliet.
Sogo smiles at Arisu as he whispers that Kyuma may be onto something with him.
-I agree, Arisu. When talking about Rosaline’s beauty, Romeo says: “The all-seeing sun / ne’er saw her match since first the world begun”, but when talking about Juliet he says that “It is the East and Juliet is the Sun”. See the difference? Juliet is Romeo’s true love while Rosaline is just an infatuation that will go away easily.
Sogo smiles at the class as he closes his eyes to think better.
-Romeo thinks he knows what love is, but he doesn’t, discovering its true meaning when meeting Juliet. In fact, upon seeing Juliet for the first time he says: “Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight / For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night”. Think about it, will you my dear students? Think about Romeo and Juliet, but also about Rosaline.
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Arisu plops down onto Chishiya’s bed while the silvered haired boy is sitting at his desk, doing his homework. This has been happening more and more lately, especially since Usagi and Arisu’s little disagreement, and Chishiya almost regrets letting Arisu into his room the first time, a couple of months ago.
-I’m bored.
-Hmm, so what? I wasn’t aware it was my mission in life to entertain you.
Arisu snorts at him and Chishiya rolls his eyes at him, even though Arisu can’t see him.
-Why don’t you bother Usagi?
-Usagi is with Kuina, and I’m not allowed to join because I’m a boy and they’re doing girl’s stuff. Plus, she’s still mad at me for unknown reasons.
-I’m glad to see I was your first option. What about your roommates?
-I’d rather bother you.
-Of course you would.
Arisu stands up and walks up to the desk, putting his head on Chishiya’s shoulder to watch what he’s doing. Arisu isn’t aware of the jolt of electricity that goes through Chishiya’s body as he does that. Physical touch comes naturally to him, but not to Chishiya. Nobody has ever casually touched him, and he hasn’t asked, leading people to believe he was simply not into physical touch. It turns out he may be though because he doesn’t despise Arisu’s casual touches, finding some kind of comfort in them.
-You’re doing our Math homework, for real? That’s not due for at least another week.
-Not all of us are slackers, Arisu.
The brunette gets closer to Chishiya as he scans the homework. Chishiya can feel the air he breathes through his nose hitting his neck, leaving the zone warm, and he can almost hear him think.
-The third equation is wrong. The answer is x = -0,3, and not -0,4.
Chishiya’s first instinct is to laugh Arisu off because he’s the best Math’s student this High School from hell has ever had, and there’s no way he’s made a mistake in a simple equation, but he rereads his work anyway. He can’t wipe the shock out of his face as he discovers that Arisu is right.
-Don’t make that face, I may be a slacker, but I’m not dumb.
Chishiya knows he isn’t. He wouldn’t be able to spend time with an idiot anyway. Arisu has come up with some brilliant ideas in games, and he’s not bad at conversation. He doesn’t put in the work though, settling with whatever results he can get with minimal effort. Chishiya hasn’t decided yet the motive behind that behavior, but it never fails to irritate him. It’s one thing to be an idiot, but it’s another one to waste amazing potential.
-I hate you.
-No, you don’t. I’m one of the few people you hang with in this hell hole.
Chishiya wants to wipe the smugness of Arisu’s face, revealing that he hangs with him because Hatter asked him to, but that wouldn’t be entirely true. Chishiya wouldn’t admit out loud, but Arisu wasn’t the worst company.
-Go away, Arisu.
-I’ll buy you ice cream.
-I have to admit, you know how to talk to me. Let’s go, we’ll do Math later.
The boys end up sitting on their favorite bench, enjoying the last warm days October has to offer. Chishiya is licking a lemon ice cream cone while Arisu favors chocolate.
-You’re so easy to bribe.
-Yeah, I’m cheap.
Chishiya smirks at Arisu as he keeps licking.
-You’ve never told me anything about you.
-You know my favorite ice cream flavor, Arisu. It doesn’t get more personal than that.
Arisu tries to glare at him and fails. Chishiya finds it almost cute.
-You haven’t told me much about yourself either.
-That’s not true. I’ve told you about Karube and Chota, you also know about Hajime.
-Fine, what do you want to know?
Arisu shrugs at Chishiya, looking up towards the sun.
-How did your parents meet?
If Chishiya is surprised at the question, he doesn’t show it.
-Through an arranged marriage.
That gets Arisu’s attention instantly.
-Oh, they didn’t love each other then?
-That’s enough information shared for today, Arisu.
-My parents loved each other dearly.
Chishiya notes the use of a past tense and stores the information in the little file he’s created for Arisu in his brain.
-Let me guess, their love was like the ones in the movies?
It had to be, Chishiya couldn’t imagine Arisu being any other thing than the product of love. Someone so warm couldn’t be a loveless child like himself.
-Kind of. They met at University; my mother was a student while my father worked as a waiter in the cafeteria.
-Sounds romantic.
-More than you’d think. My mother came from old money, and her parents had high expectations for her marriage. There was no way they would allow her to choose a simple waiter.
-I’m guessing they changed their mind?
-You’re guessing wrong. My father implored them, assured them he’d make his way to the top and offer their daughter the life she deserved, but they wouldn’t listen.
-So they forced her to choose?
-They did, and she chose my father. They never talked to her again, not once. I’ve never even met them.
Chishiya lifts his eyebrow at Arisu who’s finally looking back at him.
-That’s harsh.
-Their loss.
Chishiya wishes he could understand people like Arisu’s mother, but he can’t. Love isn’t worth throwing away a bright future. What for? In the long run, the only thing love is giving you is heartache, just ask Romeo and Juliet.
They both keep eating their ice cream in a comfortable silence after that.
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Chishiya enjoys his privileges.
He likes to be able to get out at night once everybody is confined to their dormitories.
He sits on the concrete of the playground and reflects on the events of the day, on ways to escape the hellhole that his High School is, or on what he’s going to do once he gets out.
It’s his moment of calm, one he doesn’t share even with Kuina, which is why he hates when people interrupt it.
He knows it’s Niragi only by listening to his footsteps, loud and unsubtle on the pavement. Niragi sits next to Chishiya, uninvited, and the smaller boy glares at him.
-What do you want? It’s past curfew.
Niragi smirks at him as he inches closer.
-You’re not the only one with privileges, Chishiya.
And what a shame that is, thinks Chishiya.
It takes about two minutes of uncomfortable silence for Niragi to reach out and take Chishiya’s face between his hands. Chishiya puts his hand on Niragi’s chest and pushes him away before their lips can make contact.
-What are you doing?
Niragi smiles awkwardly at him as he tries to get closer, but Chishiya won’t let him.
-I thought we could have a little fun.
Chishiya looks directly into Niragi’s eyes for a couple of seconds then snorts.
-Think again.
He drops his hand and turns around to leave, but Niragi’s arm around his waist stops him. Chishiya takes a deep breath then hits Niragi’s stomach with his right elbow.
-Stop touching me.
-What the fuck is wrong with you?!
-I think you’re confused, Suguru. I don’t know what gave you the impression that we could have fun instead of transactional sex, but we can’t.
-You came pretty hard the other day.
Chishiya frowns at Niragi, wondering what other stupid conclusions he could come to.
-It’s a mechanical reaction, nothing else. Come to me when you get something that can interest me but keep your distance otherwise.
Chishiya turns around and leaves, missing the hurt and anger overtaking Niragi’s features.
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Usagi doesn’t enjoy being distant towards Arisu.
The boy has been nothing but nice to her, siding with her since the first day they both came into Utopia High. She’s also not blind. Arisu is a very pretty boy, and he doesn’t know about it, which makes him even more attractive. She’s also smart and caring. It’s hard not to be attracted to him, even with Kuina teasing her mercilessly on her little crush. Usagi knows he feels the same, but there’s something stopping her.
Arisu is reckless. She’s seen that attitude before. That attitude is what got her into Utopia High in the first place. She can’t go through the same thing twice. She just can’t.
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Observing Arisu has become one of Chishiya’s hobbies. He keeps telling himself he’s only fulfilling Hatter’s mission, but the truth is that he’s a little bit intrigued. Chishiya is used to people playing parts. He’s observed enough people to know about human’s behavioral patterns. He knows most humans lie on a daily basis and for a variety of reasons. Those reasons, mostly, imply gaining something. This doesn’t seem to be Arisu’s case though.
Arisu smiles a lot, but it never reaches his eyes. Chishiya is not sure Usagi and Kuina notice, because the brunette is a good actor with a beautiful smile. His eyes, however big and expressive like a deer’s eyes, are darker than they should. There’s something melancholic about Arisu. He keeps living silently, not wanting to disturb anybody else’s existence, not believing he’s worth enough to do so. Chishiya doesn’t value human life in general, while Arisu seems to value every life but his own.
Sometimes Chishiya wonders how it would have been to meet Arisu before darkness fell upon him. He thinks the brunette must have been one of those obnoxiously loud people, always surrounded by friends and with a laugh that echoes through the silence. Chishiya would have probably hated him right away.
Chishiya shouldn’t intervene, but he can’t help it as he sees Arisu sitting outside, toying with a bottle of pill in one of his hands. Chishiya walks to Arisu and takes the bottle without a word.
Chishiya takes the bottles of pills as soon as he sees them in Arisu’s hands.
-Hey!
-Who gave you this?
-Give them back, they’re mine.
-I don’t have the time for this bullshit. Who gave you this?
-Mira did.
-Do you trust her?
Arisu seems to think for a couple of seconds then shakes his head.
-That’s what I thought.
Chishiya walks to the closest trash can and throws the pills inside, handing the container back to Arisu.
-I’ll give you vitamins to refill it in case they do a check. They look exactly the same
Arisu nods at Chishiya as he takes the container and puts him in one of his pockets.
-I’ll give you a piece of advice for free. Sell pills if you want to but do not consume them, do not take anything they give you. Come on, let’s go downstairs. You’re thinking too much.
Arisu gets up, following Chishiya without further complaint.
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They sleep blissfully when the alarm goes off, then a voice infiltrates into the student’s rooms.
-All students at Utopia High are expected on the playground in five minutes. I repeat, all students of Utopia High are expected on the playground in five minutes. Do not be late or you’ll be sanctioned.
Chishiya feels murderous as he checks the time and finds out it’s four a.m. Who the hell wakes you up at four a.m.? He throws on his swimsuit trunks and his white hood before groggily following Kuina downstairs. Students are already gathering around when they get to the playground. Kuina leads them to stand besides Arisu and Usagi who seem more awake than they are.
-What is this? Is it a fire alarm or something?
Chishiya could find Arisu’s naivity cute if it wasn’t four a.m. It’s cold and he’s shivering. He hates having his sleep interrupted.
Arms wrap around Chishiya’s shoulders and go up and down his sides, rubbing his body. He can feel Arisu’s torso behind his back and his chin on his head. He doesn’t comprehend what’s happening.
-What are you doing?
His voice comes out as a stunned whisper, which doesn’t seem to bother Arisu who keeps the movement going.
-Warming you silly, you’re shivering..
The motion finally stops after a minute or so and Chishiya finds Arisu at his side, smiling at him.
-Better?
Chishiya looks at him like he would a Rubik’s cube, desperately trying to solve him. He wants to yell at the boy for not respecting the invisible barrier set around him that everybody has no problem seeing, but he doesn’t because yes, he does feel warmer somehow. He nods at Arisu and his smile gets bigger, making Chishiya’s brain metaphorically explode.
This boy was definitely trouble.
His thoughts are interrupted as Mira appears on one of the building’s walls, smiling and clapping her hands excitedly.
-Welcome to my new game! Are you as excited as I am?
Chishiya rolls his eyes as Kuina groans while Usagi and Arisu frown. Mira’s games are the worst.