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Deep Within (An Endless Dream)

Summary:

Three things happen slightly differently on the night the Kamado family should have died, changing their fates entirely:

One: Kamado Kie and Tanjuro both died in the Wasting Plague, leaving their eldest to take care of the children left behind.

Two: Kibustuji Muzan is later than he would have been, as he decided to take care of a couple tasks before heading out to slaughter the hanafuda-wearing humans.

Three: Kamado Tanjirou does not heed old man Saburo's warning, and heads home during the night, assuming his sharp sense of smell would keep him safe.

 

This changes everything.

Notes:

I have read too many Demon!Tanjirou fics and decided I Must write my own. Enjoy while I go take a shower and rest my aching hands...

Also, I was going to add some art but I have no idea how to Image on ao3 lmao

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

 

Tanjirou's boots crunched on the crisp, fresh snow on his way back up the mountain, coal dust-covered basket half-filled with gifts for his family; a new hair clip for Hanako, a toy duck for Rokuta, more hair ties for Takeo and Shiguro, and a couple bean paste taiyaki for his oldest sister. They were going to love the presents, he was sure of it. 

 

He'd had to take on a lot more responsibility once their parents passed, but it was worth it to see his siblings smile again. He'd do anything for his family, be it working himself into the ground or playing dress-up with little Hanako.

 

He followed his nose's guidance on the path he and his family used to safely ascend to his home during the harsh winters of the Nameless Mountain, careful to not jostle the goodies in his basket.

 

Suddenly, a truly awful smell wafted through the air, making Tanjirou stop in his tracks. It smelled like sickly sweet rotting flesh, like a dangerous predator. 

 

He turned around, looking for where the scent emanated from when-

 

"Excuse me, young man, where did you get those earrings?" 

 

A man dressed in a Western-styled black suit spoke. What little of his coal-dark hair showed from underneath his white brimmed hat waved in the wind. The man's words were polite, but the glare in his poisonous red eyes and tone revealed his true feelings.

 

Tanjirou paused for a moment, considering his options, when the man spoke again, walking towards him.

 

"I asked you a question, boy." 

 

Before Tanjirou could blink, the man had a hand around his neck, pinning him to a nearby tree with his clawed thumb. The murderous scent that arose from the man tripled, and he jammed his talons into Tanjirou's stomach, eliciting an agonized cry from the boy.

 

"T-they're a f-family-" He coughed up red into the monster's face, some splattering on his pristine hat. "H-heirloom." He wheezed the final word. It hurt more than anything he'd ever experienced- more than any broken limbs, more than piercing his ears, even more than that time he'd been hit by a fallen tree. This man- no, he clearly couldn't be human. The beast in men's clothing was dangerous; one wrong move could and would end in Tanjirou's death. 

 

The thing's glare grew sharper than any sword at Tanjirou's answer. "So that scum managed to reproduce after all. Unfortunate." It narrowed its eyes and tilted its head as if thinking. "Hmm. Now what to do with you?" 

 

Tanjirou pondered his options again. The thing's grip on his head was too strong, even the muscles gained from the manufacturing of charcoal wouldn't be enough to even budge his arm, and he was too injured to fight it either way. He hadn't even thought to bring his ax down with him, what with it being hibernation season for most of the dangerous creatures on the mountain. Clearly not all of them, he thought with a grimage. He was running out of time to think, he needed to escape-

 

"Ah, now that's a stellar idea. How entertaining would it be to see his descendant one of the things he hunted?" The creature drawled, a menacing grin appearing on its pasty face. Tanjirou's heart dropped into his stomach. He was out of time. 

 

The creature raised a claw, the knife-like talon turning a deep, nearly-black blue before Tanjirou's eyes. "Your family lives only a mile or so up the mountain, correct? I'll leave them alive as a little snack for you." The thing's grin turned even more malicious as it raised the darkened claw. A tear slipped out of Tanjirou's eye as he realized he would truly die here.

 

Die without seeing his family again. Die without ever getting to perform his family's New Years rituals, without seeing his dear siblings faces, without ever seeing his eldest sister's gentle smile, hearing the youngest girl's giggles, seeing his younger siblings grow and live.

 

Hinokami, please protect them, he thought, the talon plunging toward his forehead before everything went dark.

 

- - -

 

He blinked his eyes open to… a face. He was on top of a person, no, a girl. His body felt all weird, his head too. The girl yelled at him, but it took him a moment to understand what she was saying. "-ii-san, Nii-san, snap out of it! It's me, I'm your sister!" He wasn't quite sure what that meant, but stopped growling anyway. He knew he was horribly hungry, stomach clenching with starvation, and she smelled amazing to his sharp nose, but he didn't want to attack her for some unknown reason. His mind felt all fuzzy, an odd haze covering his thoughts. She held an ax between his jaws, his fangs stuck deep in the hard, drool-coated handle. She was crying for some reason. 

 

Something in him wanted her to stop crying, so he let go of the handle and backed off. It was very strange, somehow part of him wanted to eat her, and the other wanted something… for her? His foggy mind couldn't put a name to the feeling, the proper words escaping him. He backed a few feet away and sat on his knees. 

The girl sat up, breathing heavily for several moments, just staring at him. It was then that he noticed the blood staining the shoulders of her ripped clothes. Panic sparked within him- was she hurt? Who hurt her? Was it him? A strange instinct to protect despite his gnawing hunger and her delectable smell came over him, and he approached again. 

The girl looked at him with relief in her eyes. "Tanjirou-nii, thank Hinokami! You're okay!" She stood and rushed toward him, enveloping him in her arms. Some of the sticky red substance (blood, he thinks?) on his clothes rubbed off onto her torn garments.

He was a bit confused by that- who was Tanjirounii? Maybe it was him; he didn't recall his own name, but it sounded familiar. 

He couldn't recall how to make words like the girl spoke come to his lips, but he could reciprocate the strange arm-wrapping thing she was doing. 

As his arms curled around her, hands folded carefully to protect her from his claws, she began to shake with sobs, tears soaking the fabric around his shoulders. 

 

After the sobbing subsided, she grabbed Tanjirounii by the shoulders and looked him over.

"Tanjirou, what happened to you? Why are your eyes different, what happened to your teeth?" 

He tilted his head in confusion.

 

"Nii-san?" 

 

Tanjirounii pointed a clawed hand at himself, eyebrows furrowed.

 

"Are- are you asking if you're my nii-san Tanjirou?" She received a nod in reply.

Oddly, the girl started crying and doing the arm-wrapping thing again. "Oh Tanjirou, this is all my fault! I should have convinced you to stay back, I should have-"

Tanjirou pushed her arms off of him and put his hand over her mouth. Her crying and blaming herself for… something made his chest squeeze painfully, and he wanted her to feel better. He could ignore the incessant growling of his stomach for now if it meant making this girl feel better. 

He patted her head, rubbing her back gently with his other hand. She cried even harder at that. "Nii-san, you're too nice to me," She cried into his arms. He let her.

I want to protect this person… I want to make her feel safe.

 

- - -

 

Nezuko had waited several hours into the night, but Tanjirou-nii still hadn't come home. The weather was clear and crisp, the snow having stopped the day before, so what was taking him so long? She knew he liked helping the villagers out with his strong arms and sharp nose, but it was already past midnight- something must be wrong. 

She grabbed her brother's ax and put on her snow boots. "Takeo, I'm going out to look for Tanjirou. I should be back in a few hours, so you're in charge of dinner tonight, alright?" 

Takeo nodded and hugged his sister goodbye, and watched her leave until all that was left were footprints in the snow. 

 

- - -

 

Around a quarter way down the mountain, Nezuko began to notice the signs of a struggle. Smeared footprints, claw-marked etched into a nearby tree, a small puddle of blood on the ground- this was bad. Perhaps her brother had been attacked by a wildcat? 

Nezuko then noticed a small trail of red snow leading deeper into the wood, and immediately started following it, knowing her brother was probably its source.

She followed this trail for a few minutes before coming across his body.

 

Her poor Nii-san's stomach had been mangled by something sharp, the wet shine of organs peeking through the shredded flesh, and his face was absolutely covered in near-dry blood. It was a miracle it- no, he (he was still alive, he had to be alive) hadn't been found by some wild animal yet. 

Nezuko approached the corpse, gently leaning down to touch its his face, but as her fingers brushed his warm skin, she realized he was still alive. Oh Hinokami, please help! Nezuko thought.

 

She frantically tore off a part of her kimono and pressed it to the wound, trying to staunch the flow of blood before tying it tightly around him with another strip of cloth. She hoisted him over her shoulders, not without difficulty, as he was still older and much heavier than her. "Hold on, Nii-san, we'll get you to a doctor, you'll be alright." She whispered.

 

- - -

 

She began her hurried trek down the mountain, begging any God that would listen that her brother would make it, at least until they reached the town doctor. 

Suddenly, his head lifted and he leaned back. "Tanjirou-nii, please stay still!" She cried, but it seemed like he didn't even hear her and he jerked to the side, making Nezuko lose her balance on the slippery snow and fall. "Nii-san!" She yelled as Tanjirou hit the ground.

Her brother lay on his side in the snow. He was breathing heavily, his pupils rolled back into his head and mouth wide and panting. Is something wrong with his teeth or is it just me? Thought Nezuko. 

 

Her thoughts were interrupted as her brother lunged for her. Instinct brought the ax out of its sheath on her hip and against his gnashing fangs, but his hands, somehow tipped with deadly-looking claws, pinned her shoulders down. "Nii-san, Nii-san, snap out of it! It's me, I'm your sister!" Her brother's growls (she could have never imagined those sounds coming out of a human's throat) continued as if he was some wild animal, uncomprehending of language. As she pressed his face away with everything she had, he somehow grew larger, huge muscles overpowering Nezuko's poor arm strength- she could feel his breath on her face, smell the drool trailing from his snarling lips.

 

But then something changed. His irises became visible, pupils slitted like a cat, and he stopped snarling, seeming to come back to himself. He clambered off of her, backing away a few feet and sitting on his knees in the snow. Looking at her with those strange, unfamiliar eyes.

She took the time she spent catching her breath to look at her changed brother. It still looked mostly like Tanjirou, but his long burgundy-black hair had become orange-yellow at the tips, making him look like he had a head full of flames. His beautiful deep ruby eyes that Nezuko loved had been replaced by odd, flat-looking bright orange circles, with those strange slits for pupils, and his scar had changed into a darker fire-like pattern as well. He didn't look like he would attack her any moment anymore, just sitting in the cold and staring at her. 

 

He stood and approached her again, panic in his unfamiliar eyes, so she jumped forward and smothered him in her arms. "Tanjirou-nii, thank Hinokami! You're okay!" She sobbed into his stained haori, tears soaking into the bloody fabric. His arms unsteadily wrapped around her torso, as if he wasn't sure of what to do.

 

She cried into his arms for several minutes. Ah, his wounds! How could she forget!  Remembering her brother's injuries, Nezuko pulled away and examined him. Miraculously, the horrible mangled mass that was his abdomen had disappeared, not even leaving a scar, the shredded skin whole and clear again, if a bit pale. "Tanjirou," she asked, looking him up and down, eyeing the changes to his form. "...what happened to you? Why are your eyes different, what happened to your teeth?" 

 

Her Nii-san tilted his head, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Nii-san?" She tried again. 

 

Tanjirou pointed a claw at himself and tilted his head again. She realized. 

 

"Are- are you asking if you're my nii-san Tanjirou?"

 

He nodded. Tears began to build in her eyes again, and she cried. "Oh Tanjirou, this is all my fault! I should have convinced you to stay back, I should have-" He pushed her arms off of him and covered her mouth with his hand, stopping her self-deprecating rant with a quiet, "Mm!" Warm arms wrapped around her, just like when she awoke from nightmares when she was younger, still grieving over the passing of their Otou-san, and she wailed into her brother's shoulder.

 

- - -

 

Takeo continued to wait for his older siblings to come home. Dawn was coming soon-ish and Nezuko (and Tanjirou) had still not come back. He'd already put the other kids to bed hours ago, he was really getting worried. Anxiety gnawed at his stomach, intestines tying themselves into knots worrying about them. Had they run into a wild animal? A robber? Some yōkai creature that kidnapped them to chop them up and eat them like in the stories? 

The sound of the door to his home sliding open snapped Takeo out of his fugue. He turned his head to see-

 

-Nezuko, red staining her ripped kimono at the front, carried an unconscious, blood-soaked Tanjirou. He sucked in a gasp and rushed over to them.

"What the hell happened, Nee-chan?!" Takeo shouted.

"Nii-chan, I'm alright. None of the blood is mine, and Tanjirou is uninjured." Takeo let out a relieved sigh. They were alright… but…

"Then where the hell did all this blood come from? Did you kill a bear or something?" Kie asked, puzzled.

Nezuko sighed, looking exhausted. "I'll explain what happened later, we have to get rid of all this blood before it dries. We don't want to have to replace anything."

Letting out a deep breath, Takeo nodded sharply. 

 

- - -

 

Tanjirounii came to awareness, but kept his eyes closed, eyebrows scrunched up on his face. His body was tired, needing rest, and the light in the wherever-he-was was far too bright, piercing his eyelids and shooting a spike of pain directly into his brain. He realized there was a blanket on him, so he took the worn-yet-soft covering and pulled it over his head. That was far better. 

 

As he tried to go back to sleep, a voice pulled him out of the void of half-unconsciousness. Nezu-something? He didn't remember the other half of her name. 

"Nii-san, are you awake under there?" 

He supposed it was time to wake up, then, so he groaned sleepily and poked his head out from under the blanket. Nezu-something's smile greeted his tired face, relief prominent in her scent and eyes. "Hey Tanjirou-nii! It's good to see you awake. You've been out for almost a week, we were starting to get worried!" 

She reached out a hand and patted him on the head, then carding fingers through his fiery hair. He really liked that. Tanjirounii closed his eyes in pure bliss, a gentle rumble coming from his chest startling Nezu for a moment before his complaining "Mmm!" and playful headbutt prompted her to continue. 

"Hey Nee-san, is Tanjirou-nii up? I wanted to see if he's awake and…" Another nice-smelling person entered the room, smelling of charcoal and apprehension and youth. His scent seemed very similar to the Nezu girl, so they must be related. Probably siblings, judging by how similar they looked. "Oh," the brother said. He smiled at Tanjirounii. "Hey Nii-san, it's good to see you awake!" The boy started smelling of relief as well, the salty scent of tears joining it shortly. 

The strange instinct that told him to ignore his ravenousness and comfort Nezu began screaming at him as the boy crumpled to the floor, collapsing in a bundle of tears. Tanjirounii bolted out of his hiding spot, doing the weird arm-wrapping that seemed to make Nezu feel better when they were out in the cold-white-wet. He hoped it worked, the chest-squeezy and mineminemineprotectprotect feeling was back again, and it didn't feel all that great.

The crying stopped again, and the little boy spoke through sniffles. "I'm sorry, Nii-san, I just missed you so much!" He cried. Tanjirounii nuzzled the poor boy, the rumble in his chest coming back as he rubbed the boy's back carefully, avoiding nicking him with his sharp claws. This one is mine too, he decided. I'll protect him from the tears.

 

Another new smell came closer- this one also a woman like Nezu but younger, and smelling similar to his person as well, like flowers and hard work but also softness and warmth. There were also the scents of two other people even younger than the new girl. Were they all siblings? That seemed to be the case, as the younger girl bounced over and hugged Nezu tightly. That sure was a lot of siblings. Tanjirounii didn't remember how siblings got made, but that was still a lot for having no fully grown people around to help care for them. Tanjirounii looked up at new-girl, meeting her happy pink eyes. 

"Hi Tanjirou-nii! You slept for a really long time, were you super duper tired from going to town?" The girl asked. "Nezuko-nee-san, can you braid my hair pretty please? I wanna put it up so I can help Takeo-nii today!" Ah, so her name was Nezukoneesan! That was really long, so Tanjirounii would stick eith Nezu. Nezu rose from her position on the floor, the open shoes strapped to her feet making a 'pap pap' sound on the squishy floor-mat-thingy. "Of course, Hanako-chan." She offered him a hand. "Do you wanna come Nii-san?"

Tanjirounii thought for a moment, before deciding he would with a nod. He took Nezu's hand, the Hanakonee girl's tiny fingers in the other, and they walked to a different room.

 

This room had a lot more things in it, and it was also brighter. Tanjirounii had to cover his eyes to stop the stinging. Too bright…

Nezu grabbed a strip of fabric from a box on a wall-ledge and began playing with Hana's hair. (He decided to give all the siblings shortened names- they were far easier to remember for him than the excessively long ones they all had.) 

While she separated Hana's hair into long bundles, Nezu spoke to Tanjirounii.

"Hey Tanjirou-nii, is your voice alright? Do you want some water? You haven't said a word since you woke up, your throat must be sore…" 

He waved his hands, trying to reassure her, but as she asked Takeo to bring some water for him it clearly didn't work. C'mon, he knew what words to say! He just…

… didn't really remember how to make his mouth move and his throat vibrate to say those words. His memories felt hazy and cloudy, and not all there, like something had come into his mind and scrubbed most of it away.

 

For now, he supposed, he could communicate through gestures. He tapped his neck- where he thought his voice might come from- and then shook his head, miming their talking with one hand while making a confused expression at it to drive the point home. 

 

"Nii-san?" Nezuko said. "Oh, are you trying to say you… don't know how to speak?" Nezuko's eyebrows scrunched together like… something that he couldn't remember. A bug, maybe.Tanjirounii's expression lit up, overjoyed that the girl had understood him. He nodded furiously, still excited over the breakthrough in communication. A huge grin spread across his face, fangs poking out of his open mouth.

 

- - -

 

What? How could Nii-san not remember how to talk? Talking was super easy, Hanako did it a lot with her friends from town when she saw them! Oh, maybe Nii-san's throat was hurt like Nee-san said! 

"Nii-chan, I have an idea!" Nii-san turned to her, his head turned to the side. It reminded her of a confused little puppy, and she giggled. "Nii-san, we can make up fun hand signals and make those mean words! Or! We could get something to write with, and you can carry it around and talk with that!" Hanako smiled, proud of her ideas. Her Nii-san and Nee-san would be sooo lost without her genius-ness.

Nee-san clapped her hands together and smiled widely. "That's such a good idea Nee-chan!" Nee-san hugged Hanako so tight she could hardly breathe. "Stop it Nee-san, I need to breathe!" Hanako was released with a ruffle of her hair.

"Sorry Hanako-chan, sometimes I forget how super-strong I am." Her Nee-san said with an apologetic smile. "Anyway, Tanjirou-nii-"

 

They were so distracted by their talking that Nii-san just slipped away! Nii-san was being so silly today, now was no time for hide-and-seek… and he couldn't even call out for help if he got stuck somewhere! 

 

"Tanjirou…? Where did you…" Fortunately, Nee-san's seeking skills were really, really good, so she found Nii-san right away. To be fair, he wasn't really hiding well, just tucked away in the bedroom closet under a pile of Tou-san's old clothes. (Thinking about Tou-san made Hanako sad, so she shoved that thought back where it came.)

 

Hanako noticed Nii-san looked really scared... The black of his eyes looked like a kitty-cat's, and he was shivering. "Nii-san, what are you so afraid of?" Hanako asked. "There's nothing to be afraid of, Nee-san and Takeo-chan and I will protect everyone!" 

 

- - -

Tanjirouniji had had enough of the bad-light. He was already not fond of the harsh lighting in the house, but the bad-light being so strong in that room was too much for him, so he ran while his people were distracted.

 

He went to the darkest place he could find, a little room next to the room with the soft stuff where he met Hana and Takeo, and buried himself in some very comfy-smelling clothes. The comforting and familiar- though he didn't know where he recognized it from- scent distracted him, and he realized that Hana and Nezu were in front of him, standing in the now open doorway. 

 

"Nii-san, what are you so afraid of?" The younger of the two questioned. "There's nothing to be afraid of, Nee-san and Takeo-chan and I will protect everyone!" 

 

He shook his head. Were the others not affected by the bad-light? Did they not realize how dangerous it was? He didn't know how he knew, but Tanjirounii just knew that he would burn up if even an inch of him touched the bad-light, a slow and horrific death.

 

He tried to convey this soul-deep fear to them, gesturing with a hand toward where the bad-light was coming from then pulling back like he'd been burned.

 

"Nii-san, are you saying the sun burns you?" Hana asked. Tanjirounii nodded, burying himself deeper into the fragrant clothes. "Like a lot? Like worse than normal sunburns?" He nodded more frantically. Finally, she was getting it! "Oh…" Hana burst into tears. Not again! Don't cry! "Nii-san, how will you do chores and take care of the house if you get hurt by the sun?" The girl sobbed.

 

Nezu put a hand over her mouth in horror while the two snuggled into the pile of old clothes.

 

Tanjirou grabbed Hana and cuddled her close, pulling the young girl into his makeshift nest. She continued to cry, but the tears lessened slowly until she was just clutching his green and black top-clothes with tiny fists. Holding Hana helped with the guts-wriggling-scared feeling, the wiggles melting away the longer he held her.

 

Finally feeling a bit better, he drifted off into a slumber. 

 

Safe…

 

Notes:

Your welcome for inventing the dead kamado parents tag btw
These kids roughin it lol

 

Tanjirou: hmm how to words... this is greek to me :/
Nezuko: nii-chan with all due respect I have no idea what the fuck you are talking about

Giyuu: I am hear to slay the bloodthirsty, man-eating demon
Tanjirou, bein babbey: !!!!! hi!!!!!
Giyuu, internally: what the actual fuck is happening?????????

Alternatively:
Giyuu, internally: what the hell does rengoku have *another* brother also why is he a demon?????