Chapter Text
[2]
Just as Isagi predicted, Rin ended up texting him.
His texting is the same as when he opens his mouth; he uses just a few words, but they are all to the point.
"In one hour. Kanagawa Seaport.”
It takes twice as long to get from Tokyo to Kanagawa as it does to get to Saitama, therefore he needs to make a short trip to get there in an hour. Uncertain and unsure, Isagi concentrated on the navigation dot on his phone.
During the days when he lay down on the mattress in a familiar room, separating his mind from football, he stared at the white ceiling and unconsciously wondered: what if Rin's feelings were not strong enough for him to keep him from leaving? Can he be calm when he sees him again, pretending all the (false) vibrations of them are just like the summer breeze?
Isagi didn’t want to think anymore. He had to believe in his own detailed calculations, in the web that he had meticulously woven just for Itoshi Rin alone. Isagi jumped up and scratched his head. No, it’s not because of Itoshi Rin, he did it all just for football. That person just happened to be the tangible manifestation of the image of the perfect soccer goddess in his mind, the suffocating feeling he had when he first met him. Isagi felt that was the moment when his eyes were the brightest and his heart was the purest. That moment passed, and that pristine feeling slowly deteriorated. He’s no longer simply admiring a beautiful goal, a scene that shakes the mind. The second time he confronted him, a desire gradually arose in his heart.
He wants to have that talent. He wanted to appropriate that "piece" for his picture, his goal. He did everything for it and he succeeded. In the match against U20, he really stole luck and glory of the this person to his side and became Man of the Match.
But for Isagi, it was not a complete victory. Totally not. Rin has not yet become “the truth”. Even though he scored the decisive goal, Isagi knew he still couldn't reach that height.
So what is the real victory?
The subway door opened, Isagi stood up and followed the location to the meeting point. As he passed by the shop window, he suddenly stopped walking and slightly bowed his head to adjust his V-shaped hair reflecting on the mirror. Satisfied, he continued walking, crossing the crowded harbor and the resounding train whistles.
A section of the sky was tinted by the red afternoon light. He heard the boom of ocean waves mixed with faraway sounds and footsteps. On the surface of the waves, seagulls flutter. It's a calm tide. The deep blue eyes gazed at the red-hot twilight, seeing a familiar figure alone at the dock. A scene he had always seen in his fantasies was reflected in his retina as the sunset halo dyed around his back.
Isagi couldn't count the number of times his gaze was placed on Rin's back. A little different, now no numbers are flashing on that back.
"Rin,” Isagi called, walking faster.
For a moment, he suddenly felt his back tense slightly. The boy turned around, turquoise blue hitting his eyes. The indifferent, melancholic expression on his face suddenly faded. Isagi's heel also stopped in place, not continuing to approach him.
He’s wrong, Isagi suddenly realized. He shouldn't have arrived on time.
He was in too much of a hurry. Will Rin notice his eagerness?
He shouldn't notice.
The two looked at each other, and that beautiful sunset silence disappeared in Rin's cold voice.
"I..." He frowned slightly, and paused, "I didn't expect you to come."
Such a lack of confidence in speaking was not at all like the Itoshi Rin he knew. But Isagi felt that his reaction was actually quite reasonable. After all, he has already declared that he has abandoned Rin. If Rin is still as arrogant as before, then he will be the one so done.
Suppressing the complicated thoughts in his heart, Isagi calmly replied, "I just came back from hanging out with the Blue Lock group and saw your message. I just dropped by on the way."
"Dropped by?"
"Yeah, what else did you think?"
"Think you miss me."
Isagi raised his eyebrows, making sure he hadn't heard wrong.
… What's wrong with Itoshi Rin today?
He suddenly doubted whether the person in front of him was Rin or some doppelganger. How could Rin say such… flirtatious words?
Isagi, calm down, he thought. Just a little abnormality has made you confused?
First, he needed to clarify the situation and Rin's purpose when texting him.
"You're too confident," Isagi spoke slowly.
"If you don't miss me, why ya come that quickly?" Rin raised his eyebrows and provoked him with a cold voice, "With that little time, you still manage to come in time."
Isagi frowned slightly, vaguely realizing that Rin seemed to have deliberately set such a tight deadline. Not only he know how to calculate. Rin wasn't naive at all, otherwise, he wouldn't have been playing this game of pushing and pulling with him for so long.
His brain working at full capacity, Isagi began to consider whether he should continue to maintain a tough, cold attitude or go down a bit. The soft-tie trick always works with Rin, should he…
“Haven't you been waiting for my message for so long?” Rin's voice rang out nearby. Isagi looked up and discovered that while he was engrossed in thought, he had stood up and walked right in front of him.
The distance between the two sides is only one arm's length. Rin bowed his head slightly and calmly said:
“You were waiting.”
Isagi laughed, "What am I supposed to wait?"
"That I will take the initiative."
"You're always take the initiative." He never said anything to imply, "Rin, you always proactive."
Rin was silent for a moment, as if struggling with something. Moments later, he heard him sigh.
"You're still angry."
"Am I not allowed to be angry with you?" Isagi raised his voice, "Am I not allowed to be indignant at your unreasonable accusations, at your skepticism? Just because I crush you doesn't mean I have to endure everything!"
He took a deep breath, deliberately appearing tired:
"Rin, I also have my limits. I volunteer to become… the one you want, either I can take back my will and retreat. You know very well what our relationship is. None of us are pure.”
Rub! He plays the role of a lover so honestly that he himself is deceived.
Listening to him, Rin slightly drooped his eyes. His curved eyelashes fluttered like butterfly wings in Isagi's deep gaze. His Galatea was always so beautiful. His grim muse.
"Sorry."
Isagi tried to stop herself from grinning.
This is the second time Rin humbled herself and apologized to him. Last time, he made a big bet and did not hesitate to take advantage of both Bachira and Chigiri. After listening to him tell the story of his past, Rin's attitude towards him was different from his. He relented. Rin only uses his cold, hard exterior to hide his soft heart. He wanted to bet that he could compare somewhat with the image of Itoshi Sae in his heart. The result turned out to be more than he expected. Rin was jealous when he saw him being close to Bachira. He then took a step forward, before Rin passed by, he pulled Chigiri in and borrowed his curiosity to stimulate Rin. Isagi is not a prophet, of course he would not have predicted that Rin would stay and listen, but Ego had already said, "luck only smiles on those who act for it". Rin's reaction was the sweetest result. for his efforts and trade-offs.
Chigiri would definitely feel that what he did was not worth it at all and Bachira would definitely be hurt if he knew that his actions were not motivated by pure concern. But they will understand, Isagi believes. It was not by chance that Bachira saw the "monster" in him; it was also no coincidence that Chigiri did not expose him. They all understood that everyone had a selfish, self-serving part in them. And he, of course, was not innocent at all.
Perhaps, he was. I don't know, maybe before Naruhaya showed him his "talent" - his nature. Or even more distant, the time before he set foot in Blue Lock?
Anyway, those are old things and have nothing to do with him anymore. Only when people are not overwhelmed by the failures of the past can they move forward.
“You called me here just to say sorry?” Isagi opened his mouth, slightly surprised by his own tough tone. “Then I guess we're done.”
Counting silently in his heart, Isagi turned on his heel. One, two, before even reaching the third step, Rin's voice rang out behind him.
“Come back, Isagi Yoichi.”
Isagi continued walking, as if he didn't take Rin's words to heart.
"You take one more step forward..." Rin continued, his voice still indifferent, "I'll take one step back, straight until I fall down the sea."
What is this? Is Itoshi Rin threatening him? Just like a furry animal from being abandoned, he stepped on the same mistakes again.
Isagi pondered how many steps he should take before returning. Rin was standing a few meters away from the edge of the anchorage area, right? He didn't pay much attention just now, but there will probably be more than five steps...
Hearing the sound of rushing water behind her, Isagi was startled and quickly turned his head. The red afternoon light reflected a panicked green color, and his heart suddenly felt a chill.
Itoshi Rin completely disappeared from his sight. Even the shadow is gone.
“Rin!” Isagi screamed, muttering "damn it" while rushing towards the edge of the anchorage. Is Itoshi Rin crazy? Of all the ways to hold him back, you chose the craziest, most extreme method? What will happen? If you disappear under those ripples along with his perfect fantasy? Where will he find the second Galatea to reach that truth...
Isagi was shocked by his own crazy thoughts, but only for a moment. He looked at the spot where the water bubbles were rising and growled.
"Damn it, Rin! I'm sick of your crazy dares!"
Having finished speaking, regardless of the fact that he had never learned to swim, Isagi still took a breath and jumped down. The winter sea is too cold, the red light on the horizon does not provide enough heat to heat up an entire port. Cold water rushed through the thick t-shirt, Isagi felt his body getting heavier and heavier. He waved his hands and swam towards the foam, but he looked around but couldn't find Rin. The waves of the ocean crashed into his face, nose, and hair. Isagi held his breath several times but still choked on the water. He waved his legs, coughed, and the pain brought the taste of salty sea water from his nose to the top of his head. His eyes sting like sunset. Rin still has no word. Isagi suddenly thought, did that train take him back to some scenario in his dream?
No, Isagi, there are no dreams here. Look at reality, you're just about to drown.
Isagi craned his neck and looked up at the sparkling twilight at the end of the sky. The soccer goddess's dark red eyes glanced at him indifferently, blowing the sound of wind destruction in his ears. "Another one," she sighed, "a fool who doesn't know how to measure himself. You should leave it alone and go find another Galatea. That's better for you than stubbornly jumping in and drowning with it."
You're so stupid, Isagi. The ego laughed at him.
Don't you know what you're really looking for in Itoshi Rin?
What he seeks is only...
Number 1. Striker number 1. Itoshi Rin is striker number 1. It's always that back, that number, that stinging and contemptuous look. You are forever number 1, never wavering. What he craves is only the number 1 position.
It should have been like that.
So why did he jump into this cold sea? Wouldn't it be true that if Itoshi Rin disappeared, the number 1 position would become an empty throne?
Isagi Yoichi, what the fuck are you doing?
The goddess's red eyes closed, the sparkling water surface filled with mother-of-pearl light filling his vision. The body is heavy, the ears are ringing, water bubbles are floating. In his sleep, Isagi suddenly heard a sound that he was always familiar with.
“Foolish.”
That person grabbed his wrist, resolutely pushed through the water, pulling him closer. He supported his back, bowed slightly, locked his cold lips and gave him a little bit of oxygen. Isagi coughed and struggled a bit when the othis person squeezed his jaw.
"Stay still." He ordered and kissed him again.
The sea water is cold, their kiss is not much warmer. Isagi tried to open his bitter eyes to see clearly the person in front of his but could not. He had to let the othis person pull him to the surface of the sea. Once again exposed to air, Isagi immediately filled his lungs.
The horizon now wore an additional Venus sash. Isagi blinked, when he saw Rin's face under the belt of Venus, all his hysterical and confused emotions suddenly disappeared with the tidal waves. He held Rin's neck, leaned towards him and kissed his as if it were his last. The salty taste permeates the passionate kiss. His cold, trembling hand clutched his hair tightly, their skin pressed togethis through the wet shirt. Rin's hot, soft mouth was like a magnet, entwining his tongue, his breathing, his heart. Isagi half sucked, half bit and tore those lips until he tasted the strong smell of iron mixed with the salty taste before letting go.
“You're such a psycho!”
Occasionally, his ringing ears were filled with soft laughter. Isagi was surprised to see the corners of Rin's mouth curl slightly.
“You too.” He said indifferently, "You don't even know how to swim."
“Who told you to scare me… You take a step forward, I take a step back!” Isagi exclaimed, "Who knows you're such a good swimmer!"
"You didn't know but you still jumped down the sea?" Rin raised his eyebrows sarcastically, "Are you stupid?"
“Itoshi Rin, you…!”
Before Isagi finished speaking, he sneezed. Rin looked at his red nose and limp hair, and bluntly dragged him ashore. The wind blew into the wet clothes, Isagi suddenly shivered.
"So cold…" He glanced at Rin's still calm face, curious, "Aren't you cold, Rin?"
"Not really, I'm used to it." Rin looked deeply into his dark blue eyes like static electricity and asked softly, "Isagi Yoichi, do you miss me?"
Isagi doesn't know, but he will give the answer Rin wants.
"Yes. I miss you so so so much." He gently stroked the wet hair on his forehead, "I miss you like crazy. Otherwise, when you called, I wouldn't have come running right away."
"Won't be angry with me anymore?"
"Who wants to be angry with you?"
"You," Rin rolled his eyes, "Obviously angry."
“Keep saying.” Isagi laughed.
Rin didn't speak anymore but grabbed his wrist, resolutely pulling him straight forward.
"My house's nearby, let's go."
Following behind the othis person, Isagi blankly looked at the sunset falling on his ear and quietly smiled. Nowadays, the port is deserted, with only a few workers passing by in carts, casting curious glances at them. Isagi was sure that guy was wondering why two guys jumped into the winter sea. He exhaled a puff of smoke, walked faster, walking parallel to Rin.
Leaving the harbor, he suddenly called out, "Rin."
"Say it."
“I feel like… you still have something to say to me.”
"... Yeah."
"Now isn't the right time?"
Rin was silent for a moment. Passersby glanced at the two wet boys holding hands on the street, but neither of them paid much attention to those looks. Isagi calmly waited for Rin's voice to speak after the silence.
"No, now is the right time."
The two people's footsteps stopped in sync. In the midst of the twilight and darkness, Isagi suddenly felt like everything around his suddenly became unreal.
"Isagi Yoichi, look at me." He said solemnly, "Look carefully."
"I'm looking." Isagi laughed, "Really carefully look at you."
"I like you."
Three sounds, eight syllables, simply and neatly penetrated straight into Isagi's eardrums. The blue hour dyed his still eyes. Isagi stared at him, dazed as if lost in some reality.
Having gone through all the hidden impulses and obsessions, could Rin still utter those three straightforward and sincere words?
Like. How pure that word is.
In a moment, Isagi suddenly realized: he never liked Itoshi Rin. Never before had such pure words existed in him.
He had never looked at Rin as simply as he looked at his shadow.
"Yoichi.” Rin's voice called out to Isagi who was confused about reality.
"Yes," he replied unconsciously.
“Lemme make it clear. My like means I love you.” Rin said. Apparently, there was a lot of gentleness and restraint contained within that cold voice.
"I got over it. This is my answer."
[3]
Isagi stopped in front of Rin's door, hesitant. His sneakers - the only dry object (because he left them on the shore) - are now soaked in water, soaking wet. Rin opened the gate and looked back, raising his chin.
"Come in."
His attitude was still condescending as if Itoshi Rin had just confessed his love to him a few minutes ago and was just an illusion. Isagi stared at the dark sky covering the boy's face, suddenly realizing that his actions were like herding chickens into a coop.
What was he thinking about? It should have been leading the wolf home, right?
Or is it the othis way around, is he the wolf waiting for Little Red Riding Hood to enter his territory?
Some strange thoughts have been haunting him all this time. Isagi shook his head slightly, shaking off the water that was dripping down his shirt.
He slipped through the gate and entered.
Itoshi's house is middle-class, street-facing, spacious on the outside, spacious on the inside. The threshold connects to the long hallway. Isagi took off his shoes and looked up at the stairs leading upstairs, suddenly feeling at home. But in contrast to the warm, happy, kitchen-smelling atmosphere of his house, Itoshi's house has a lingering, silent winter atmosphere. He looked across the empty kitchen and suddenly asked:
"Are your parents not at home?"
"No." Behind him, Rin closed the door and answered leisurely, "They go on business trips constantly, just come back and leave again, in general they aren't usually home."
"Oh, then what about..." The words "your brother" stuck in his throat. Isagi suddenly remembered that Itoshi Sae was originally planning to return to Japan on vacation, but happened to know about the Blue Lock project, so he stayed. The relationship between the two Itoshi brothers is too complicated. After playing the match with Blue Lock, he might not even come back here.
He hesitated for so long, it seemed like Rin had noticed.
"Sae has returned to Spain." He ruffled Isagi's cold, damp hair and said slowly, "Don't worry."
"What do I have to worry about? I'm just asking."
Isagi pulled his hand and placed it on his forehead. I don't know if it's because Rin's hands are too cold or he's starting to get a fever. He's not very good at enduring the cold... what about Rin?
He touched the back of his hand to Rin's forehead out of habit. He was much taller than him, and when he reached out his hand, it blocked the view in front of him, making it impossible to clearly see the turquoise blue of his face.
"No fever." Rin pulled his wrist down, told him to change into indoor slippers, then led him upstairs, straight to the bathroom door.
"There's hot water ready, you take a shower first. I'll get the clothes for you."
Pausing for a moment, he continued, his voice deeper:
"About my confession just now, think carefully before answering."
Having said that, before Isagi could react, Rin let go of his hand and turned sharply back to his room. Isagi stared blankly at Rin's back until the bedroom door closed. He pushed open the bathroom door, looked at himself in the mirror and thought he saw the goddess's red eyes reflected on the glass. Ninety minutes of the U20 match slowly rushed back to mind along with the ball shaking the net. His loud scream still echoed in his head. He calmly touched the mirror and whispered softly:
"Victory…"
Isagi always believes that only victory can make his heart so excited. So why... why when he heard Rin's confession, his heart flared up with the same emotion as when he scored the winning goal for Blue Lock?
He remembered the words that resonated when he stood before Reo, saying: "I love him.”
His word "love" was like a parasite clinging to Itoshi Rin. Isagi loved him at first sight - or so he thought. Only when he plunged into the sea did he suddenly realize: perhaps it was from before. Now he still mistakes his obsession with winning for love.
Isagi Yoichi doesn't love Itoshi Rin, he only loves his soccer. He loves winning.
But at the same time, besides that burning desire to win, at some moment, Isagi let his love fall into the deep sea. The moment he threw himself into the sea to find that piece of love again, he understood clearly. That he was no different from an Eros hiding in front of the beautiful Psyche, only daring to borrow anothis identity, secretly acting as a shadow to approach Rin in the darkness. He puts on the mask that belonged to Itoshi Sae to hypnotize himself into thinking he is just a cold and indifferent outsider. He did not know that his heart always existed inside that false shadow. When Rin lit the lamp and exposed him for what he was - a deceitful parasite - he angrily left.
In that substitution game, whethis Isagi's emotions were real or fake, even he himself was not very clear.
"Isagi."
A few "knock" sounds on the door frame scared Isagi. He turned sharply towards the bathroom door, hearing Rin's voice echoing on the othis side of the opaque glass.
"I left your clothes here, later..."
Before he could finish listening, Isagi opened the door, grabbed Rin's hand and pulled his inside. He changed into anothis set of clothes, but his skin was still cold as if soaked in ice water.
Isagi caressed his pale lips and whispered, "Take the bath with me."
Rin slightly opened his mouth, but before he could respond, Isagi immediately stopped him. The bathroom door closed with a "bang", the dark mossy hair sticking close to the opaque glasses. Isagi grabbed Rin's collar, stood on tiptoe, and kissed him passionately. Their cold skin gradually warmed up. The pink color spread from his neck to his face, spilling over to his wet lips. Isagi enthusiastically wrapped around Rin's tongue, warming both sides with a hot kiss.
Rín responded to him with equal impatience. He turned around and let him push him back, straight until he sat down on the toilet lid. Isagi touched his neck, slightly lifting his chin. The ice cube melted on his red face. Isagi had never seen Rin so beautiful. He leaned down and kissed you passionately.
Their deep kisses never ended as long as their lips and tongues were still intact. Normally, Isagi would be the one to endure Rin's destructive actions, while he would indulge in his gentleness. It seems that this time, the roles of both sides are reversed. Isagi plays the role of a wild beast, constantly harassing that mouth. He pressed his tongue across his lips, licking and biting as if he wanted to swallow Rin whole into his stomach.
He wants to be full.
"Rin..." Isagi's voice whispered in his junior's ear. "Do you want to do it?"
"You suggested that right after I confessed…" Rin raised his eyebrows, "Is that a sign of agreement?"
“I think so.”
Isagi replied quickly and was about to put his hand inside Rin's pants when he suddenly held his back. The othis person squeezed his hand, his voice cold as money:
"Isagi Yoichi, don't be so lukewarm."
Having a bucket of cold water poured on his head, Isagi suddenly regained consciousness. He lowered his eyes and knowingly entered the water:
"Sorry, I'm too hasty."
Having said that, ignoring Rin's frown, he took a breath and let go of her. Isagi's mind was as tangled as a ball of wool at this time, but on the outside he was just more pensive than usual. Turning on the shower, he checked the water temperature, then took off his baggy, soaked shirt and folded it into four. About to put his shirt on the toilet lid, Isagi was a bit surprised when Rin still sat there.
"Are you… really going to take a shower with me?"
Rin responded matter-of-factly, "You pulled me in and asked me to take a shower together."
“Uh…” Isagi looked at the lumbar bones peeking out as he stretched, suddenly gulping, “I'm afraid you'll catch a cold.”
"Oh."
After taking off both his shirt and pants, Rin hung them on the hanging bar and walked closer to Isagi. He leaned forward as if he were preparing his kabedon. Obviously not. Just take the showerhead from him.
Isagi cleared his throat, not wanting the atmosphere to become any more shady. He sat down, read each type of packaging label on the bottles, then took some shampoo, poured a little water and rubbed it on his hair. Before he could scratch, anothis hand touched the back of his hand, stroking along the joint. Rin's arms are a bit longer than Isagi's arms. He slipped through his fingers, lightly scratching his scalp under the thick layer of hair.
"Rin..." Isagi looked reluctant, "I can wash the hair myself."
Rin didn't care about his senior's rambling tone, put his hand down from his head and took up the position on it. He learned how to wash from Isagi before, rubbing and scratching from the top of his head down to the area above his ears, down to the nape of his neck.
“Like this?”
"Um." Isagi replied comfortably. "There, a little stronger."
Rin's movements suddenly stopped. He snapped, "Speak decently."
Isagi was stunned, not understanding anything.
"I just told you to scratch harder?"
“Shut up.”
Thinking back on the recent conversation, Isagi suddenly realized what Rin wanted to say. He smiled, pulled his hand down, and pressed his hand full of white foam to his cheek.
"Rin..." He trailed off, sounding whiny, "Just now, what were you thinking about?"
Rin pursed his lips and pulled his hand away from his cheek. Seeing his red ears, Isagi laughed, "Not much more decent than me."
He must have just stopped moving when Rin suddenly leaned forward and kissed him. He bit his lip as if punishing him, and the showerhead in his hand poured into his hair. White shampoo foam flows across the forehead, down the cheeks and down to the lips. Isagi tasted bitterness and mint in the passionate kiss. Afraid of shampoo foam getting into his eyes, he closed them tightly and placed his hand on his junior's shoulder. Rin kissed from his lips down to his neck, biting his pharynx. The shower head fell with a "clack" to the floor. Isagi's hands pressed tightly on his shoulders, pushed him close to the wall, and kissed him passionately. Darkness covered his eyes, Isagi heard Rin's heavy breathing echoing in the sound of water, his hand once again reached down to his crotch. This time Rin didn't stop him. Perhaps his reason had also drifted away.
The sound of slurping filled the space. Rin wrapped his arms around Isagi's neck, pulled his shoulders closer, biting down on his strong shoulders. Isagi took a breath, trying to control the urge to do the same to him, focusing on the action of his hands below. His othis member was tense in his hand, vibrating with each repeated up and down movement. Rin frowned slightly, his lips pursed tightly as if trying to suppress all sounds. Isagi doesn't like him staying silent forever. He craned his neck and gently bit his earlobe.
“Rin.” He whispered, "Let me hear your voice."
"... Dumb."
“Then teach me English.” He suppressed his voice and kissed down your neck, "Please, Rin, please…”
“Shut… up.” Rin's trembling voice escaped that mouth along with a pent-up gasp. Isagi felt that as long as he didn't push him into a corner, he would still stubbornly stick to his damn limits.
What is the switch that activates Rin's madness…? Ah, right, Itoshi Sae. It's always that person.
Isagi didn't know if he was too extreme or too insensitive when always taking advantage of the obsession in Rin's mind to control his emotions. He just took advantage of everything he could. He understands Rin like he understands the shadow lines he draws. The Monster in Rin is hatred. Because of it, you are tough, strong, sharp, but also because of it, you are hurt, emotional, and weak. The more you comfort Rin, the more he will withdraw, like the chaste tree that refuses to be exposed to all types of touch. He had to provoke him, had to stab him at his vital point, tear off his wounds and then soothe him. Repeat that process over and over again, and your rough shell will be completely useless.
Remembering the dry, quiet tone that he knew by heart, Isagi changed his tone and whispered, "Rin, please."
Come on, Rin! Show it off! Show yourself!
It seemed like something had just flashed in the turquoise color, perhaps cracks in the ice. Rin stared at him, his eyes filled with emotion. Pressure, frustration, doubt, and finally ruin. He wrapped his arms around his back, pulling him close to his hot and wet skin. Resting his chin on his shoulder, Rin pressed his nails into his skin, breathing out broken sobs. He trembled in Isagi's arms, covering his hand with sticky, smeared fluid.
After that, the bathroom only contained the sound of breathing mixed with the sound of gurgling water.
Isagi stared at the white wall in front of him, feeling a sense of exasperation that even he couldn't understand.
Rin's nails were still pressed against his skin, scratched and painful. He slid his othis arm around his waist, hugging him tightly. It seemed like he had never hugged him like that, like a begging child. Isagi was about to return his hug, but suddenly remembered that his hands were very dirty, so he picked up a nearby shower head and poured water on his hands. His fingers were slippery and sticky. Isagi scrubbed his hands, trying to wash away the impurities. The sound of screeching friction echoed in his ears. Fishy. Isagi frowned, continuously rubbing as if he wanted to remove his own skin.
Suddenly, Rin held his hand. Hold tight. Isagi could no longer move, as inert as a puppet in his hands. He heard Rin's teeth grinding.
“Yoichi, indeed I'm so wrong.”
The othis person's voice had never been so choked up.
“Just how long do you want to torture me?”
“How much do you hate him to have to do that?”
Isagi's fist tightened.
No, not at all. That's wrong. Isagi vigorously denied it in his heart. Reo's wrong. He never hated Rin. His admiration and infatuation could not degenerate into that distorted feeling.
The feeling of joy when I saw Rin defeated miserably at my hands. The satisfaction of destroying beautiful Galatea with my own hands, the satisfaction of smashing that perfection into ashes.
That was truly the ultimate victory that made his heart flutter.
A series of images flashed through Isagi's head. He has absorbed many things into his brain. Too much. His hunched shoulders. His miserable face. And the weak mutterings in the dream were completely different from the cold face he always showed. He stood still in the darkness, his deep blue eyes calmly observing him. Galatea is "perfect" and looks like that? He looked pained, resentful, and pathetic like he did when he lost the battle. A very... human appearance.
The person who created the beautiful ball that made him miserable even when he lost was not the incarnation of any god. That truth crushed his consciousness, like a stake piercing his eyes and heart. Blood flowed profusely.
After that, Isagi walked towards the othis teenager, waking him up from his dream. And wake up yourself.
“You're awake.”
He hugged him, with dark (eyes) and cloudy (heart).
“Rin, look at me.”
Isagi gently called out. Rin let go of him and sat up straight. Their eyes met each other. And Isagi knew he couldn't turn back anymore.
Ivy clings to the tree trunk, its harsh green color covers an area, taking over the light and eroding the tree's vitality. Even when it wears out and rots, the great tree will still believe that it is protecting him.
“I love you.” Isagi wrapped his arms around Rin's neck, pulled him back, and kissed him passionately, passionately. “Rin, Itoshi Rin. I love you.”
No one will believe in his love. The kind of love that drains dreams, destroys the mind and fossilizes faith.
He really loves him. Trully.
[4]
When he was little, Isagi once played hide and seek with his friends. While the foam-eyed kid counted them, little Isagi frantically searched for a place to hide. Suddenly, he saw a bush. Looking from the outside, it was very difficult to detect someone hiding there. He then hid in the bushes, sat on his knees, waiting for someone to come find him. He waited forever, until it was dusk and the surroundings were quiet, but still no one came to look for him. He stood up, looked at the carpet of floating clouds and the quiet yard, and suddenly realized: if he hid too well, no one would bothis to look for him. And then he walked home alone without understanding why he was left behind. The next time, he chose a more visible hiding place, so his friend found him and he was no longer alone like the first time. Everyone is happy, so is he, he is satisfied that he is no longer a misfit.
Since then, Isagi has always tried to integrate with no matter what people or circumstances. He considered each person's point of view and found the best way to adapt. Observation and evaluation gradually became his habit, a means for him to survive in a crowded group. That's how this society works, there's no need to go against the majority and then be burned at the stake.
Perhaps that thought caused Isagi to sometimes not understand himself, not to mention, at that time he did not even know the definition of "self". If he had not set foot in Blue Lock, it is unknown that he would have continued aimlessly. Thus, quietly accepting failures in frustration.
He never wanted to experience that feeling again. He hated the feeling of frustration when nothing was clear. That's why he's always searching for the key to solving the most difficult situations. As long as the puzzle is not complete, he will not be complete.
"Hey," Rin's irritated voice echoed in his ears, "What are you so absent-minded about?"
Drops of water dripped onto the back of my hand, placed neatly on the pillow. Isagi stared at the drop of water, then looked up after a moment and smiled at Rin's reflection in the mirror.
"Ah... I just didn't expect that there would come a time when you would take care of me."
In the past, he was always the one in charge of taking care of others. Things like reminding his friends to bathe, wash, eat, and drink, Isagi just reminded his friends out of habit, then everyone started to think of him as a nanny or something similar. He is so self-aware that no one (including him) thinks he needs to be taken care of. So when Rin put a towel over his hair and pushed his down on the stool in front of the mirror table, Isagi burst out laughing. Rin never looked like the type to care about others. He's more like the type of person who will break everything he touches.
Surprisingly, Rin didn't break him. Rin didn't even hurt him. Although clumsy and slow, he still carefully wiped his hair.
"Stupid." Rin muttered, "This's normal."
Isagi looked at the othis person through the mirror. Rin bowed his head slightly, his eyelids drooped, looking very quiet at first. He diligently wiped every strand of damp hair, so meticulously that Isagi found it extremely funny. He also enjoys his (rare) care, but somehow, he feels like this isn't real.
Would Rin be that gentle with him? Isagi felt skeptical. He knew that even if Rin loved someone deeply, he still wouldn't have the patience to treat them gently.
That word should not be in Rin's dictionary.
Isagi bowed his head, frowning. He really hated this feeling of vagueness and uncertainty. It seems that in Itoshi Rin's eyes, order, logic or reason are useless.
"You're too distracted today."
Rin clicked his tongue and suddenly bent down close to his shoulder. Through the mirror, Isagi clearly saw his lips placed close to his ear.
“Or are you still thinking about that confession?”
Rin's voice is still cold - the cold of the North Sea in the melting season, the cold full of life. Isagi was surprised when that soft cold air lingered in his ears.
"Then there's no need to think about it." Rin whispered.
"What…?" Isagi was confused, "You're so serious, I should carefully consider it too..."
"I don't really need your answer. It's all the same."
Isagi grimaced, "What do you mean?"
"I just want you to know." Rin's demeanor was very calm, "Isagi, you don't need to give the answer. There is no need to say "yes" or "no", nor need to agree or refuse. Pausing for a moment, Rin suddenly placed his index finger on his forehead, "There's no need to think about winning and losing."
"Why do you think like that?" Isagi hid his confusion behind a calm appearance, "There's no winning or losing in love."
"Really?" Rin's voice was tinged with laughter, "Then don't be nervous, it's not like I'm about to kill you."
“Isn't that right?” Isagi turned to look at him, raised his eyebrows, "It looks like you're getting ready to feast on me."
The cotton towel slipped from his jet black hair and fell to the floor. Without saying a word, Rin suddenly turned him around, pushing the stool against the mirror table. With his back lightly hitting the edge of the table, Isagi suddenly closed his eyes. Once again when his deep blue pupils were exposed to light, facing him was a fierce look in ice-colored eyes. Putting his hands on the edge of the table, Rin pinned him in the middle, his position as defiant as if he were locking him in a cage.
"If that's true," he said calmly, "so what?"
Isagi was both reluctant and amused by this ironic situation. He reminded, "Just now in the bathroom, you scolded me lukewarm, Mr. Itoshi Rin."
Rin bent down and looked at him silently. A moment later, he said, "You were still confused at that time."
"What makes you think I ain't now?"
"Intuition."
"You're so…"
When he received Rin's sloppy lips, Isagi decided not to worry anymore. Rin pushed him to sit on the mirror table, trapping him in his arms. Trapping, how great it is, it seemed like the relationship between him and Rin had entered a different form. Isagi didn't have time to clarify, he let go of his thoughts for a moment. Rin's kiss was more passionate than any kiss before. There is no repression, anger or even excitement. All intentions are gone. He only kissed him because he wanted to, and Isagi wanted to reciprocate. He thought he was actually tolerating Rin. He let his lips kiss his passionately on his face, his body, even, perhaps his heart. No more - the panic like when he discovered for a long time that he was only pretending to be someone else to love him. There were no more moments of shock like when I faced him with my heart bare and exposed. Rin said it. He doesn't have to give answers, doesn't need to try to find order and logic, doesn't need to take advantage of everything to score goals.
Lips leaving, Rin whispered his name, "Isagi."
“Hmm?”
“Why did you jump down then?”
“Why can't I jump down?” Isagi caressed his delicate cheek, "When you disappeared from my sight, I was so scared."
Isagi will always say what he wants Rin to hear, regardless of whethis it is a lie or the truth. Whethis Rin saw through his confused feelings, Isagi didn't care anymore. As long as he stay in this hell with him.
More than love, Isagi knows he cannot lose Rin.
“Is someone like you sometimes scared?”
Rin's voice sounded extremely provocative. Isagi casually replied, “It's normal.”
Not knowing what Rin thought about that answer, he suddenly kissed him deeper. He opened his mouth and touched his tongue to the tip of his lips. Isagi couldn't count how many times that tongue rubbed against his, playing back and forth, igniting the fire in his heart. Isagi patiently played a game of cat and mouse with his lips and tongue with his junior. That, for both of them, is never enough.
Rin put his hand through the corner of his shirt - the oversized t-shirt he borrowed from him to wear - and now he took it back again. Rin also only wore a swimsuit and underwear. Pulling Rin close to him, Isagi reached back, took off his pants, and touched the groove between his buttocks. Rin stiffened slightly, but did not protest. Of course, Isagi knows Rin want him to do so. That unspeakable chemistry is just like when they run on the field. Making love is no different from playing soccer, first they have to warm up and stretch their muscles thoroughly. Isagi kissed Rin while pulling out each of the lower drawers, rummaging around. Where is it? He became suspicious when he couldn't find a single box of condoms.
“Where did you keep it?” Isagi muttered, avoiding his junior's kiss, glancing down at the cabinet. Rin was not satisfied with his senior's inattention, held his chin, forcing him to look straight at him.
“You think I brought you home just to fuck?”
“I don't think, but it's actually happening.” Isagi said reluctantly.
“So what?”
"Hey Rin..." Isagi observed his junior's blatant appearance and suddenly came up with the thought, "Don't tell me you really didn't prepare condoms?"
"Do I need to prepare?"
"Rin…"
Rin attacked him again. Isagi's bare back rubbed against the cold mirror surface, making him shiver. Compared to the cold glass surface, both bodies temperatures were as hot as if they were standing in the hot weather. The mirror became opaque as both of their hot breaths blew out. Rin put his hands on the table, watched Isagi apply cold cream on his hands and once again groped behind him.
Weaving his finger through the narrow groove, Isagi carefully asked again, "Are you sure?"
“Speak too much." Rin grumbled.
Hearing that, Isagi stopped asking. He didn't want Rin to see him as a distraction right when they were in this moment of love. He is ready to meet all of Rin's requests, no matter how strange they are. You will never imagine how far he can go just to chase and stand by your side.
Isagi himself sometimes doesn't know if Rin asked him to die, would he be willing to jump into hot water for him or not?
The red sunset crackled in his heart, the glass was as cold as seawater sticking close to his back. The answer was obvious. More than anyone else, Isagi knows how guilty he is. He gave him false warmth, deceived him with false words, and even hurting him was just an act to keep him in this hell. Isagi doesn't think the desire he has for Rin is pure love. It's too deceitful. He's just trying to win his heart in the name of love.
But so what?
If he wasn't aware of that deceit, he wouldn't have acted out that ridiculous parasitic play with him in the first place. Isagi was alert enough to accept the bet. Isn't the result still as he expected? Itoshi Rin confessed his love to him, even offering himself to him. But why is he not satisfied at all?
Isagi didn't know how much more insatiable he was.
Rin sucked in a breath as his finger entered the hole behind him. He had prepared himself carefully while bathing but... it was still too cramped. He inserted anothis finger and Rin's shoulder blades began to tremble. He placed his face on Isagi's shoulder, and his bottom gradually became erect. Isagi touched his chest and caressed it. Shark trench hidden behind bathrobe. Rin bent his back, that angle made his muscles even more sexy. Isagi listened to the heavy breathing in his ear, inserting a third finger into the tight hole. Rin hugged his waist, biting his shoulder angrily. Isagi let out a groan and patted his butt. The mucus squeezed through the narrow gap, flowing along the inner thighs. Isagi grabbed Rin's hair and pulled him up to face him.
Rin's eyes were always beautiful, but right now, they seemed even more sparkling. Isagi was pulled into that lovely lake and gently kissed the corner of his eyes.
"Is that okay then?"
“Shut up.”
"You are so pretty."
"That's all ya can say. Too lukewarm."
Isagi giggled, then stretched out his arms towards Rin.
“Come here, let me carry you in my arms.”
"Stop talking to me like that right now."
Ah, he's angry. Isagi casually reflected on himself, watching Rin pull down his pants, revealing his erect penis. Leaning back against the mirror, Isagi tilted his head slightly, spread his legs and smiled at Rin.
"I let you take control."
“It's not like I really desire you.”
Having said that, Rin still slowly sat on his lap. Isagi stroked his beautiful thighs, straight up to his waist. Pressing him tightly against the glass, Rin slowly lowered his hips according to his instructions. The hole slowly sucked on the oversized object, Rin trembled each time he went deeper. Isagi frowned slightly, his hands tightening on his hips. Rin's breathing was erratic, the weight on Isagi's body increased. He grabbed Isagi's hair at the nape of his neck, forced him to look up, lowered his head and bit his lip. The words Isagi wanted to say were all devoured by him. When Rin completely placed himself on his groin, Isagi couldn't help but thrust his hips up. Rin jumped, letting out a small moan in his mouth. Isagi moved his kiss down his neck, biting his trembling pharynx. Rin raised his hips and then lowered them, continuously stirring up his stamina. Isagi squeezed his tight buttocks, tilted his head back and gasped.
"No, it's too cramped. I can't concentrate," he suggested, "Go to bed."
"You’re so demanding, Isagi."
Isagi lifted Rin's hips, pulling him down from the mirror table. He sensed Rin's dissatisfaction, but couldn't bear it, the bed was still more spacious, easier to get into positions...
While he was still thinking, Rin suddenly pushed him down on the bed. As soon as Isagi stood up, he swooped in, just like a wild wolf pouncing on its prey. Isagi doesn't know how many times Rin's hand has been placed on his neck. Isagi finds him very familiar. But this time Rin didn't strangle him. He just placed his hand on it, fixing him in place, coldly observing him.
Isagi couldn't see anything in Rin's dark eyes. He just thought he were angry. Just as he was about to speak up to appease him, he suddenly smelled a faint scent.
Realizing what that smell was, Isagi was stunned.
"You..." He blinked and unconsciously exclaimed, "Why does your pillow smell like kelp?"
Right then, under the dim yellow light, Isagi saw Rin's lips curl into a beautiful curve. The abnormality that he had always felt about Rin today suddenly thickened as if it had become a reality. Isagi had the illusion that dark, bumpy creatures appeared behind him.
"Of course there must be, this is Sae's room."
It seemed that in an instant, Isagi suddenly understood that the chess game between him and Rin was now truly over.
"Rather, this room used to be ours. But after Sae went to Spain, this room completely belonged to me."
Rin gently rubbed the pharynx on his neck. Isagi didn't dare breathe loudly. His dark gaze reminded him of the day Ego announced they would face U20. At that time, Rin also turned towards Itoshi Sae's holographic projection with the same expression.
Isagi clearly understood the meaning of that look.
Rin loathes him.
"I used to think it was just a coincidence. But now I realize I was too naive. How's it possible that both you and Sae like kelp tea?"
Rin calmly looked at him like he was looking at a dead thing, a puppet in his hand. Isagi slumped and was just about to struggle when Rin held his shoulders down tightly. His anger was as terrible as hell, coldly burning away every false image he had created on his body.
“Isagi, you understand better than anyone...” His voice was broken, "That you put so much effort into mimicking Sae.”
The final whistle hit Isagi's eardrums. He bitterly realized that in the battle between the two of them, he was probably never the winner.
Because Rin already knows.
He knew every detail of the spider's web.