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Denki couldn't sleep.
Which, on a normal night wouldn't be a problem, at least not anyone else but himself. These days he's more than used to spending hours alone with his own thoughts, either jerked awake in the middle of the night from a nightmare or just plan restlessness and a taunting inability to even get to sleep in the first place.
But this time Kirishima and Sero were admit they have a sleep over, and it didn't feel right to just stare at his ceiling until the morning sun slowly lit up his room with his friends quietly snoring, for once peaceful in their own sleep, on the floor next to him.
So, he made the executive decision to go for a walk. Insisted to himself that all he needed was to burn off the extra energy in his system by wandering through the school grounds with the moon high in the sky.
At first he doesn't even know where he's going, thoughts drifting as he blindly follows one of the cement paths at random. But then, as his head clears and his vision doesn't seem to waver as much whenever he looks anywhere other than his shoes, he starts to recognize the small school garden hidden away near the back end of the school.
He's only been there a couple times, once on the tour when he was first accepted, another when he and Kirishima had sprinted passed as Bakugou chased after them for accidentally pushing him into a puddle, and neither were in the dead of night when there wasn't another soul around. But he can't help but find comfort in the silence, in the way the long grass sways back and forth in the late fall breeze, moonlight reflecting off the small, decorative pond surrounded by stepping stones and a single bench.
Said bench, made of old oak and stern, solid metal, beckons him closer, offering a peace some part of him was so desperately craving he couldn't help but move closer.
And it was nice, slumping back against the wood, pull his feet up until they rested on the edge and tucked his knees to his chest. Let's his gaze slip across the top of the water to the surrounding forest.
No one around to judge him. No one to smile at or throw a joke towards. No one to question why the class clown of 1-A- 2-A now- was finding solace in the quiet of a small school garden, looking just about as lost as he feels.
He can just sit and be Denki. Not Kaminari, an extra compared to the other smart and talented people in his class. Not Chargebolt, an idiot hero in training who can't even do the one thing he's suppose to without making himself vulnerable or putting others at risk.
No teachers. No villains. No expectations.
No quirks.
He takes a breath. Relishes in the near tranquil stillness as fallen leaves shuffle along the grass with the next gust of wind to roll over his shoulders.
"What the fuck are you doing out here?"
Denki's heart leaps to his throat, shoulders tense and eyes wide as he jerks upright to meet red from across the pond.
Bakugou sneers at him, arms crossed, head tilted to the side with a jacket thrown over one shoulder.
It takes him several long moments to even process the words- because why was Bakugou even here in the first place- let alone respond to them, and it takes the teen clearing his throat impatiently to snap Denki back to reality.
"I...Uh... I was..."
He was what? Outside in the middle of the night casually enjoying a stroll? Trying desperately to escape the haunting thoughts of blood and death and destruction that squeezes his soul every time his thoughts trail off in the wrong direction?
A huff of breath hits his ears before the sound of footsteps grow near, freshly fallen leaves crunching under the added weight, and before he knows it there's a body settling next to him on the bench.
Bakugou keeps a good amount of distance between them, at least a few inches despite Denki having settled in the near middle upon his arrival, but he can still feel the sudden wave of warmth that always seems to radiate off the other boy. It makes him shiver, makes him realize just how cold it really is with winter just being around the corner, and he tightens his arms around his legs in an attempt to keep more of his own heat from escaping.
"You shouldn't be out here if you aren't going to be aware of your surroundings," Bakugou doesn't meet his eyes when Denki glances over to him, instead looking towards the trees as he had been doing mere minutes ago, but he nods anyway.
If the loud boy could sneak up on him with Denki being non the wiser, what's to stop someone who isn't as considerate from doing the same? Given how many attacks on UA there are a year, he's almost more surprised that Bakugou found him instead of some villain just waiting to scoop up a fresh face.
Granted, he isn't Bakugou, or Midoriya, or anyone else with some super cool or rare quirk that doesn't bite them in the ass at the first sign of danger, so many he'd be fine after all.
He rubs a hand against the back of his neck, painfully aware of how his grip around his knees tighten and how Bakugou's attention snaps to the action with a look he can't decipher, "Yeah," He chuckles, tries to lighten the mood, "You're right. What are you doing out here so early though?"
"My morning run," Bakugou snaps back, a tad slower than normal.
That makes sense. Denki remembers that being part of the reason he'd refused to join their sleepover- with how early he went to bed and got up, all they would do was bother him the whole night.
He just wasn't aware that this was how early Bakugou went on his runs. What time was it anyway?
Red eyes bore into him as he glances towards the horizon, trying to get a feel of just how long he's been out and about. If he'd left his room around 2:30...
"Are you gonna say something or are we just gonna fucking sit here all night?"
Denki frowns, picks at the fabric of his sleep pants as he looks back at him, finally meeting the older teens gaze, "What are you talking about?"
The responding look both makes him feel cornered and comforted in a way only Bakugou seems capable of. The way the bridge of his nose pinches in well concealed concern, but the sharpness of his eyes and the firm line of his lips telling Denki he isn't getting out of this without saying something to calm the other.
"Why I found your half comatose ass sitting outside in the middle of the night?" He rolls his eyes before breaking eye contact, and for a split second Denki almost begs him to look back at him, desperate for that strange, almost reassuring stare, "You fucking hate the cold, more than Sero even, so I know you didn't come out here just because you wanted to go on a walk," A pause, "You didn't even bring a fucking coat, and you didn't start shivering till I sat down which means you weren't completely there either."
His eyes widen at the words, lips parting slightly before forcibly turning away to return his sights to the pond in front of them, moonlight glinting off the top, "Oh... Uh, nightmares, I guess."
"Nightmares?"
Denki doesn't comment on how Bakugou's voice softens just slightly with the word, how his shoulders ease with understanding out of the corner of his eye.
"I...I've been getting them a lot more frequently lately. Over the last few months," Neither of them need long to wonder why, "Normally I just stay in my room but.."
"But dumbass one and two are there."
"I didn't want to disturb them," He admits, clenches then unclenches his finger into the hair at the nape of his neck, "Sero's really been struggling to get any sleep lately, and I didn't want to make him loose the little he's getting."
Denki's been painfully aware of the growing bags under his friends eyes. The stress that seemed to pull at his limbs whenever he fell back into his seat at lunch, or how his reaction times in class have gotten just a fraction slower, leading to too many unnecessary scraps and bruises.
He chews on the inside of his cheek, "It's part of the reason Kirishima suggested the sleepover," A way to keep track of each other while they are at their most vulnerable. "Safety in numbers and all that."
That's why, when Bakugou said no at lunch when it was first brought up, a flood of panic he didn't let show filled his veins. The idea of not being able to know where the other boy was, the only one whos actually been taken, making goosebumps rise on his arms and legs and a lump form in his throat.
Red eyes narrowing makes him realize the grip he had on his hair and leg were a bit too light, instantly relaxing them.
"Do you ever..." A breath as he falters, doubts the words threatening to bubble up.
Because this was Bakugou he was talking to. And he knows the guy cares in his own way, about a few of them at least, but he's Denki.
Not Kirishima who can say whatever to him and get away with it, throwing an arm around his shoulders with such a bright smile it sometimes hurts. Not Midoriya who can read Bakugou better than anyone else, offering quiet compliments and suggestions that he knows the older teen always takes into consideration and holds close to his heart despite the insults that are always shouted back.
He's not Sero who somehow always knows the right thing to say, easily disarming any argument with a few kind words. He's not Jiro or Ashido, who, as much as Bakugou may deny it, he has a soft spot for, giving the pink girl piggyback rides to lunch whenever she climbs onto his back or just relax together and listen to music on the couch in the common room.
He's non of those.
Which, thinking about it now, brings up the question of why. Why is Bakugou sitting here, wasting his time with Denki when there's so much else he knows the boy would rather be doing?
He jumps, just slightly, when Bakugou clears his throat next to him. Realizes that at some point he'd moved his hand from the back of his neck and wrapped it back around his legs, gripping his opposite arm so tight his knuckles were turning white.
"Do I ever what?" Bakugou mumbles, a stark difference to his normal loud and firm and boisterous tone that it takes Denki for a loop, and their shoulders brush against one another as he shifts in his seat.
"I don't know," Denki clenches his jaw. Stares down towards his tennis shoes, so hastily pulled on in his need to just get out and away from the soft snores and quiet mutterings as Kirishima rolled onto his stomach "You you ever just think that... Maybe we're too young for this?"
The responding silence makes his stomach twist uncomfortably, "I mean- I know we're training to be hero's and all, and everyone's worked really really hard to get here, and there are so many people out there that would be glad to be where we are so we shouldn't be ungrateful but-"
"I do."
He freezes. Because there's no way Bakugou Katsuki just agreed with him. Not over something involving heroes.
Denki takes a moment, movements slower than he'd like as he lets go of his writs, makes sure the other blond doesn't have anything else to add before continuing, anxiously tugging and pulling at the fabric of his pants, "I... I just. It's barely been a whole year and so much has happened. Like I said, I'm happy to be here, Happy that I've gotten the chance to meet so many amazing people, strive towards the goal of becoming the best with everyone. I am!"
He swallows.
"I just wish we could have the chance to graduate before I have to worry about any of us dying, ya know?"
Another long stretch of silence, this time obviously heavier, and he forces himself to laugh despite the weight.
"It's stupid, I know. With how we kinda signed up for this and all."
"It's not," Bakugou shrugs his shoulders, suddenly seeming more sober and serious than Denki thinks he's ever seen him, "There isn't much we can do about it now, which sucks ass but," A sigh, "When I decided to become a hero, I knew the danger it would put me in. I was prepared for that- I am prepared for that. But right now? I've been kidnapped, and attacked, and stabbed, and just... I don't know. I figured I would be getting banged up a bit, but by you guys in class. Not bleeding out on some dusty battlefield because some villain has it out for Deku."
Denki remembers when Kirishima first told him about Bakugous condition, heard second hand because he had been too concerned about himself to even think about where his friend might have been. Remembers the fear as he stood at Bakugou's bedside in the hospital, hands fidgeting restlessly in rubber gloves in front of him instead of holding onto the boys hand or arm like everyone else, too scared to touch something and hurt him- kill him.
He struggles to nod in agreement, keeps his gaze firmly lowered despite how tears begin to sting his eyes, "I just want everyone to be safe," He whispers, voice cracking, "I know it's asking a lot, but... I so tired Bakugou."
The exhaustion behind the words doesn't escape either of them. Because Denki is tired. Of the running and the constant fear and the red that has so quickly begun to stain everything in their lives.
It feels like just yesterday he was a little kid, waking up and waving goodbye to his grandma before running off to school to play hero with his classmates.
Now it's no longer pretend. Now it's being thrown head first into a war without even a second to prepare. Now it's dirt and dust in his lungs and blood caked under his fingernails and his friends names on his tongue because he wasn't quick or strong or smart enough to protect them.
Now it's Krishima's voice begging miss Midnight to wake up. It's Midoriya's scream of anguish when Bakugou was taken from them. It's how Ashido broke down sobbing when she first saw Bakugou in the hospital, hooked up to about a dozen different wires because his heart had stopped several times during surgery.
It's heroes- people he's looked up to for as long as he can remember- dropping like flies around them. It's helpless bystanders- Adults, teenagers, children- who's lives are in his hands and he just can't seem to do anything right no matter how hard he fucking tries.
Denki doesn't even realize he's barely breathing, chest rising and falling in shallow, barely there breaths, until a heavy arm drapes itself across his shoulders, warm and solid and real, and a deep voice is mumbling at him to just 'Breath ok? Take a damn breath Kaminari.'
And he does, because why wouldn't he? His classmates have never steered him wrong before, always so much more sure of their answers and just how far they can push themselves.
It's why he follows them without a second thought. Why he would go to the ends of the Earth for them. Give almost everything he has just to make sure they come back safe and sound.
He sniffles, wipes an arm across his eyes in a vein attempt to get rid of the mess of tears running down his cheeks and dripping off his chin.
"This is stupid," He mutters under his breath, tone forcibly light, as he pays just a bit to much attention to how the arm around him tightens because despite the ache in his chest he's still able to comprehend the fact that Bakugou of all people is hugging him and offering him such obvious comfort.
"It is pretty stupid," Bakugou replies, the smallest of responding smirks just to make him feel better, and Denki can feel how his voice vibrates through his torso, pressed firmly against his side.
It's almost uncomfortable how comforting the reminder that Bakugou is here is. How he desperately wants to grip the arm around his shoulders and never let go because what if he was taken again? What if Kirishima and the others weren't quick enough next time and they never got him back?
But he doesn't. Settles for a quiet, "Sorry," Under his breath. Shivers because Bakugou is so stupidly warm compared to the rush of wind that hits both of them from behind.
The hand resting on his arm squeezes, thumb pressing against his veins, "Don't."
After that they don't speak. Not until the sun begins to rise above the horizon, casting shadows across the tops of the trees and washing over both of them like the world itself was trying to apologize for the rough night.
And then Bakugou's shifting away, standing and taking his warmth with him, and Denki can't deny the stab of betrayal that hits him until red is staring back at him with a raise brow.
"Are we not heading back to your room?"
"Why would we do that?" Sure, Denki probably should get back before the others wake up. The last thing he wants is to start a panic after all. But that doesn't mean Bakugou can't stay, enjoy the rest of the sunrise or finish his run that Denki had so rudely interrupted with his presence and issues.
A huff of breath, like Denki couldn't see the obvious, before fabric is taking up his vision, "Because of your stupid sleepover thing you and the others are doing. It's a weekend, so there's still plenty of time to get back to bed so we can finish it."
He tugs the cloth blocking his view away from his face, face pinched in confusion as he realizes Bakugou had thrown his jacket at him, "But..." He frowns, "You said you didn't want to come."
"Well now I do. So get that coat on before you freeze to death and get your ass up before I change my mind and leave you out here to get yelled at by security."
His eyes widen as he stares up at him, at the way he doesn't quite meet Denki's eyes, the tips of his ears flushed just faintly in embarrassment, before a smile stretches across his cheeks and he pushes himself to his feet.
"Well aren't I just special," He tilts his head, falling in step next to the teen as they start walking, "Does this mean you'll make all of us breakfast when we get up?"
"Don't push your fucking luck Pikachu."
The jacket is still a bit warm when he tugs it on and zips it up, "We'll have to have another sleepover soon so you get the full experience!" He laughs, "With video games and popcorn and-"
His laughter only grows in volume as Bakugou cuts him off with a growled threat, nodding along at the fake promise of injury as they close in on the schools entrance.
"Yeah yeah. Hey, I'll save you the last slice of bacon from Sero if we get there before either of them wake up?"
"Save-I'm the one making the damn breakfast!"
"So you are making us breakfast then?"
Bakugou shoves him to the side, teeth bared as he marches ahead and pushes his way through the entry doors first.
He watches, shoulders relaxed and laughter settling into a soft chuckle, as Bakugou's anger simmers, red flicking to the glass at it starts to close, before reaching out to hold it open for him.
And that's when Denki makes a vow to himself, hands balled up in the sleeves of Bakugou's jacket, to do whatever he can to keep this little space of peace for all of them. Protect this school that brought them all together in the first place till his last breath. Because they all deserve to feel safe, have a place that is filled with people who care and watch each others backs.