Work Text:
Levi Ackerman
Levi slammed against the dull metal wall of the hallway, stumbling. He tried to regain his footing but decided it would be easier to play a game of chess on horseback.
The waves in his stomach rolled as violently as the waves rocking the boat below. His head pounded in beat with them. Groaning, he wrapped an arm around himself. It was about as effective as a bandage on a severed limb.
Captain Levi Ackerman had faced swarms of titans, killed people, and lived underground amidst the worst of humanity. He knew hell like he knew his own mother’s face.
However, if you put Captain Levi Ackerman on a boat, apparently he turned into a feverish mess.
Why had he set foot on this wretched boat? Why were they going to Marley? And why was his stomach threatening to make him dry heave for the seventh time today?
“Shitty fucking boat.” He muttered feverishly.
Another lurch from below sent him careening into the opposite wall.
They were less than a day out from Marley when they’d hit the storm. Levi had spent most of his time prior to it alternating between the deck of the ship and his quarters below. Hanji and the others were enjoying their time outside of Paradis with various games and activities on deck, but Levi could hardly focus on anything besides the brutal, violent nausea in his stomach.
He sunk to the floor, burying his face in his chest.
The Azumabito clan had been kind enough to give them passage on their chartered boat. They had taken care of everything from clothes to a private hallway of cabins for the trip to loose change for Levi and his subordinates. All of it was so they could go to Marley and meet up.
But now he wanted nothing more than to be back at the Scouting Legion headquarters, making a nice cup of tea, and looking forward to a peaceful day with no fear of titans.
Another wave rocked the huge hull of the boat. Levi grasped his hair with his other hand. Never had something so small made him feel so miserable. He was sick of feeling sick.
He knew he shouldn’t have ventured out into the hall. When the sea had become violent, he’d gone to find Hanji and the others and make sure they were safe.
He hadn’t made it ten steps past his own room.
Footsteps sounded against the groaning of the hull. Levi briefly wondered if making a mad dash back in his room would be worth avoiding whatever stranger was coming down the hall. But, that would require moving, and that would result in vomit all over the hallway.
The footsteps stopped by him.
“Levi?”
Hanji.
Fuck.
“What the fuck do you want, Four-eyes?” He mumbled viciously.
Bile rose in his throat as he spoke.
“How long have you been here for?” She stumbled as the hallway twisted.
He didn’t bother answering. He didn’t even look up as his stomach squeezed and lurched like a Titan was chewing on it.
“Let’s get you back in your room.” Her firm grip wrapped around his arms and pulled him up. The sudden lurch sent his head spinning like a whirlpool.
“Wait—“ He gasped, trying to keep the bile down.
But she didn’t. With her strong arms guiding the way, Levi watched his feet as they were marched back into his room. The dark-windowless space washed over him as Hanji pushed him through the door and laid him in his bed.
The turmoil in his stomach instantly decreased, though it still crashed around inside like the embers of a dying fire. Levi found his thoughts clearing as well as his sight.
Hanji looked disappointed but not surprised.
“Would it kill you to take care of yourself every once in a while?” Her arms crossed over her chest, and she stared down at him with a look that might have intimidated others. Not Levi.
“I can’t take the risk.” He sighed, gazing at the ceiling. As long as he focused on one point, the room didn’t move so much.
Hanji didn’t laugh.
It didn’t matter. Whatever she was here to pester him about, he was sure he could push it off. Reassure her that he was fine.
“Have you eaten today?”
Ouch. She really knew how to cut right past his defenses.
He stayed silent. Of course he hadn’t eaten today. He couldn’t stomach anything, and he hadn’t dare try.
“Actually, I know the answer to that question.” Hanji frowned. “Let me be more direct. Did you eat anything yesterday?”
He opened his mouth to answer, but stopped.
He had eaten yesterday. Right? He ate something a few hours after he vomited…or…wait no. He had meant to eat something, but he couldn’t recall getting around to it.
“ Levi.” Hanji’s stern tone made his stomach twist for an entirely unrelated reason.
“Fuck off Four-eyes, I don’t need—“
Hanji glared at him then abruptly spun around, left his room, and slammed the door behind her.
Levi blinked, then let out a sigh of relief. Suffering was easier alone. He didn’t need nor want Hanji doting on him as she had been trying to do this whole week-long journey.
“Sorry.” He mumbled after her. She wouldn’t stay mad. One time, Levi had dragged her sorry ass to the med bay after a nasty Titan encounter left her with a dislocated shoulder. She had complained and fought him off the entire way there, claiming she could “set the damn shoulder myself, thank you.” He almost had to break her arm entirely to get her there, but once recovering she apologized for all the fuss. He had known best. It was part of what made their relationship so strong was knowing when the other was right and when to stop fighting an issue.
He just wished Hanji would see that this was one of those times.
His door opened as the boat rocked again.
“Ughnnn.” He moaned quietly, “Who—“
Hanji re-entered his room, holding a bowl of steaming something and a glass of water.
Levi pushed himself up on one arm, the other clutching his stomach. He caught a waft of the food, something meaty and stewed. Hunger hit him like a brick, but it was almost immediately squashed by nausea.
“Unless you want to see that spewed all over your jacket, you should take it away.” He warned.
Hanji hooked her foot around the leg of a chair and dragged it to his bedside.
“Unless you want to be drugged, you should probably get off your ass and eat this.” She said sitting down. “Or I can make you.”
He glared at her.
The light from the small circular window glinted off her glasses, one eye staring him down.
It reminded him of another situation, years ago, when Levi had developed hypothermia. Unused to winter above ground, Levi commonly left his coat behind during training drills or on short trips into town. A few weeks into the snowy season, he had been on a trip into town with Hanji and Mike. Shivering, and willing them to go faster, Levi had leaned into his horse, closing his eyes for a moment. The next thing he knew, he was lying on the wooden floor of a bar or tavern, shaking and confused. Hanji had berated him, all but shouting about how dumb it was to go out in sub zero temperatures with no coat, all the while throwing blanket after blanket on his cold body. She hadn’t let up on making sure he was okay until he pushed himself up several hours later and, with a thick coat of blankets, put himself back on his horse.
Well, there were no horses here. No way to prove to her that he was fine. Unfortunately he didn’t think he could manage walking away from the situation either.
Stupid shitty boat.
“I’d like to see you try.” He seethed at her.
A beat passed and then Hanji did something terrifying.
She smiled.
“I’ll try not to have too much fun with this.” Hanji said, setting the bowl and cup down on the nightstand. The water sloshed with the rocking of the boat.
She disappeared a second time, and Levi realized that not only was he in a hole but that he had just dug himself an extra three meters deeper in it. At this rate, any rational escape from whatever Hanji had in store would involve running or eating the stew at his side.
He eyed the brownish slop. Again, his stomach protested at the sight, begging for something sustaining. It also made his throat seize.
The water looked alright. Levi picked it up and took a tentative swallow, grimacing as it washed some leftover bile down with it. It made him feel…watery. Yuck.
He downed the rest of the glass.
After several minutes, Levi felt a wave of exhaustion wash over him. He was seriously considering making a break for it when Hanji returned.
She sat down in the chair again. Nothing looked different and she wasn’t holding anything. Levi flicked an eyebrow up.
“Well?”
“Well what?” She retorted.
“Aren’t you going to drug me or something?” He deadpanned.
Hanji let a small smile grow on her lips. Her head pointedly tilted towards the empty glass of water. Horror flashed across Levi’s face.
“You didn’t.” He hissed.
“I did.” She agreed as though admitting to a friend that she had taken out their trash for them.
Levi’s head felt thick. His heart pumped too loud.
“You’re sick.” He slurred, recognizing that whatever drug Hanji had given him was coursing through him at an alarming rate. “You’re insane, fucking crazy. I—can’t believe…”
He needed to lie back down. His arms threatened to give out, going limp even as he paused mid insult.
“Ugghn.” He groaned.
“You could have just eaten,” Hanji pointed out. “I didn’t want it to come to this, but someone has to keep you alive.”
Her words floated in his head. He tried lifting a middle finger at her, got as far as raising it halfway before he dropped it, strength utterly spent. Then everything went black.
********
When Levi woke, a considerable amount of time later, the storm was much worse.
Crashing waves outside sent the ship teetering like a child learning how to walk. The hull groaned like a mammoth creature with Levi terrified in its stomach. Rain pattered against his window like tiny bullets fired from the heavens.
Drowsy, and with a thick haze of sleep coating his mind, Levi sat up, throwing his feet over the side of his bed.
He had taken all of one step before a lurch from the boat sent him hurtling into the wall, knocking over the small nightstand and all its contents. Glass crashed against the floor, the sound muffled by a crash of lighting outside.
Levi gasped, holding his swimming head, trying to regain his footing. He would rather be shot than deal with this unseen torment. There was nothing physically wrong with him, and yet, he couldn’t stand or walk.
Or eat .
He stumbled to the door. He needed to get off this boat, this hellish nightmare. He’d be damned if he had to spend another restlessly shifting between vomiting and burying his head under his pillow.
His stomach twisted.
No no no no….
An awful feeling hit him as he felt the bile rise in his throat. His stomach wasn’t empty as he had kept it for most of this trip. No, he didn’t feel the ebbs of hunger begging for food behind the nausea, which could only mean one thing.
Hanji had force fed him while he slept.
Damn that woman! He would make sure she paid for the extra dose of hell she had unknowingly prescribed him.
Finally reaching the door, Levi twisted the knob and toppled into the hallway, falling on his knees. Dim light reflected off the metallic floor. Besides that, the hallway was as dark as an underground tunnel.
The boat rolled as if laughing at him. Levi propped himself up on one shaky arm, holding his head with the other.
THUMP THUMP THUMP
A migraine stabbed through his haze, beating in time with his heart. He never got migraines, but the thick nail of pain being driven into his eye over and over said otherwise.
“...stop…just stop.” He whispered, urging the pain to leave. Were his hands always that pale or was it the lighting?
Another crash outside sent lightning flashing so bright that momentarily Levi saw everything in the hallway as plain as day.
Then the nausea was done waiting. Levi could only helplessly watch as his stomach clenched, his throat filled with the abhorrent substance, and then it spewed everywhere around him. He only barely moved his hand in time to avoid it.
Retch after retch, his migraine flushed through his head as his insides spilled out. He felt like a child, a helpless child, unable to stop. Unable to control anything about his circumstances.
Mercifully, his stomach emptied quickly. He only dry heaved three times afterwards, and then he flopped to the ground. Levi found himself useless, too sick to even pick himself up.
He didn’t know how long he lay there, in the darkness, surrounded by his own sick. Was it a few seconds? Minutes? An Hour? All he knew was haze, dull, dark, and pain.
The boat continued to rock.
A door creaked open, then the lights in the hallway flickered to life. His migraine flared up at the lights like a defensive animal.
No, he groaned internally. Or maybe he had said that out loud. He couldn't tell with the commotion outside the boat and inside of himself.
“Who–oh my god. Levi?” Said a voice that definitely belonged to Hanij Zoe.
Levi wanted so badly to tell her to go away . It was bad enough she’d seen him earlier, not again, please!
“Are you okay?” Hanji’s face appeared above his. “Why are you up? And where are you going?”
“…get off…th boat.” He muttered, holding a shaky hand against the lights. “Cn’t…stand it.”
Hanji frowned, her eye scanning over the vomit coating the floor.
“You were trying to escape the boat? In this shape?”
He groaned.
“Levi, you know we are still half a day out from Marley. You weren’t supposed to wake up for at least another 5 hours.”
The ship rocked around them, and Hanji had to steady herself with a hand on the wall. Levi pinched his eyes as tight as he could. If his nausea rose again, he couldn’t fight it off.
“Though,” Hanji mused in spite of the storm. “You’ve never been able to get drunk like the rest of us. Maybe what I gave you wore off quicker for the same reasons.”
“I—don’t give a—fuck.” He gritted his teeth.
Her mouth tightened into a thin smile.
“You never do.” She grabbed his arm, pulling him up. “Come on, there’s an extra chair in my room. I’ll sit with you through the storm.”
Levi let her lift him, embarrassed to admit that he couldn’t make it down the hall to her room without her. His sweaty hands found her arms and gripped them tightly.
“I’ve heard of this sickness,” Hanji continued. “But obviously we’ve never seen it or had a case of it in the walls.”
Levi didn’t answer. As they entered her room, he saw a small oil lamp on a desk. A few books lay open-faced there as well. Her bed was perfectly made, and Levi just then realized that Hanji was wearing regular clothes.
“You weren’t sleeping?” He grumbled, tilting his head.
“No.” She smiled. “I’m afraid I am too anxious to sleep.”
He grunted in understanding.
She guided him to her bed where she pushed him gently to sit on it, grabbing the blankets and draping them over his shoulders like a cape. He felt his cheeks flush, but the rocking underfoot threatened to send him sprawling again so he accepted the blankets.
“You are likely the first Eldian in 100 years to get it, but you Levi Ackerman are seasick if my sources are correct.” Hanji announced proudly.
“Seasick?” He looked at her blankly.
“That’s correct.”
“That’s a stupid name.”
“It’s a literal name, but yes, it’s not very creative.” She hummed.
Pulling out a sheet of paper, she jotted down a few notes. Levi watched her wrist move the pencil with her excited handwriting.
“This is your first extended journey by boat, isn’t it?” She asked.
“Yeah.” He mumbled. His head was spinning.
“And certainly it’s the first with such a bad storm?”
He sighed more than answered her, but it was confirmation enough. She scribbled down a few more notes then turned to him.
“Don’t go anywhere.” She held a steadying hand against his chest. “Please. I’ll be right back.”
Her hand was warm, and Levi felt a protest on his lips when she withdrew it and disappeared.
But she was only gone for a few minutes and returned before he could fully appreciate her absence. In her hands were a cup of tea and a towel.
She handed him the cup. The steamy liquid filled his nose, sending a shiver through him.
“There’s nothing in it. I promise.” She reassured him. “Just plain boring tea, the way you like it.”
He tipped the cup back, gratefully drinking in its contents. Even sick, tea had a calming effect on him. Like a sunset bathing him in sweet light or a summer breeze from the mountains.
Hanji laid the towel on his forehead. It was moist and cool. It smelled of peppermint, and the scent cut sharply against his migraine like a spear.
He closed his eyes, letting out a breath.
“Better?” Hanji’s voice floated in his ear.
“Mmm hmm.” He nodded.
“Good.”
And so he sat, bundled in a blanket cocoon, eyes closed with the cool rag on his forehead. Hanji grabbed one of her books and began reading from somewhere in the middle. The words never really reached Levi’s ears, but Hanji’s voice was grounding and firm.
With his attention pulled in different directions, it was harder to feel the push of the ocean or the claws of the wind. The mountains of lightning and thunder still made him flinch, but Hanji’s voice continued through it all.
Before he knew it, Levi’s head was lolling, face resting against the blankets. He jerked himself awake once, twice. On the third time he gave up. He didn’t want to listen to shitty four-eyes anyway…in fact…he was quite…drowsy.
Maybe…maybe she had slipped something in his tea…or maybe……….
…
Levi awoke hours later to sunlight streaming into the cabin. Hanji was nowhere to be found, but neither was his nausea or migraine.
He groaned, rolling out of the mountain of blankets.
Footsteps crossed the deck above, running in excited patterns. Levi faintly heard shouts echoing through the metal boat.
He frowned, timidly pulling himself to a stand. He tested the ground beneath him.
No turning. No shifting.
The ever present rocking of the boat was there, but small, like a puddle underfoot. He felt only a little lightheaded as he exited Hanji’s room into the hallway. He paused at his room, noting the spotless metal outside his door.
Hanji must have cleaned it.
Damn that woman , he shook his head.
Grabbing his jacket and hat, he left his room behind and joined the realm of the sun on deck.
The water, reflecting until it disappeared on the horizon, blinded him immediately. Would he ever be used to the absence of mountains and valleys? His whole life had been lived within something. The underground, the walls, the island. Here there was nothing between him and the whole world.
Shaking it off, he squinted, and holding an arm up to block the reflected light, Levi crossed the deck. He looked for familiar faces, scanning the eyes of the many occupants of the boat.
Many groups of people huddled near the rail, gazing out into the vast expanse of blue. One of those clumps was Hanji and the others. Levi made his way over to them, pausing occasionally to let groups of people pass him.
The air smelled of salt and iron. Levi breathed it in as he grabbed the rail beside Hanji.
“Isn’t it magnificent?” She said, nodding towards the ocean. She didn’t appear the least bit surprised at Levi’s sudden appearance.
He grunted. After this week he was more sick of the ocean than usual. Seasick. What a stupid name for an illness.
“You can just barely see Marley in the distance.” She pointed.
Levi narrowed his gaze, looking for the land mass. It took him a long time before he spotted a sliver of mass on the distant horizon.
“What a dump.” He complained. “Let’s hope it’s better than this shit ton of metal.”
“Levi you can’t even see it yet. You don’t know it’s a dump.”
“I know it’s a dump.” He sniffed. “Anywhere you have to use a boat to travel to must be a pile of shit.”
Hanji laughed. “Just because you get seasick doesn’t mean everyone does.”
She gestured to the rest of their comrades who were excitedly engaged in conversation. Armin moved his arms rapidly, holding Mikasa’s and Jean’s attention. Connie and Sasha were taking turns looking through a spyglass mounted onto the rail. Even Eren looked a little less bored than usual, leaning on the railing as he gazed intently at the distant continent.
Levi frowned. It didn’t matter. They would be on land in less than 4 hours and then he would be in control again. He would be fine. At least, he would be fine until the return journey.
His stomach felt queasy at that thought.
Hanji gave him a hard pat on the back making him suck in a sharp breath.
“Don’t worry about the trip back.” She smiled, reading his mind. “I’ll ask around for a remedy for seasickness once we get there. Someone is bound to have one.”
He gave her a special glare that he reserved for her.
“Either that,” she said, eye gleaming. “Or I’ll knock you out early and keep you under for the whole trip.”
Levi opened his mouth to argue, but considered the offer instead. He would rather be unconscious than go through the same torment as last night again. Next time he needed to go to Marley, he would stay home instead.
“Just warn me before you do.” He grumbled. “So I don’t have to see your stupid smile again.”
Hanji laughed, and the two continued gazing at Marley as it grew bigger and bigger on the horizon.