Work Text:
Beomgyu’s alarm went off, ringtone shrieking in his ears. Annoyed at the lack of sleep (admittedly, he’d gone to bed way too late last night after binging a drama with Soobin), he turned it off and sat up. There were spikes of brown hair sticking out in his peripheral, but he didn’t even bother to smooth them down. Soobin and Kai had definitely seen worse.
Neither of his roommates were in the living room when he headed towards the kitchen in search of coffee, and both of their bedroom doors were closed. Soobin was probably still asleep– he wasn’t on call at the hospital until the afternoon, and Kai had probably already gone out for his shift at the café. There was a pleasant hush in the apartment as Beomgyu turned on the Keurig and positioned his mug underneath it.
Coffee, meds, brush teeth, shower, get dressed, go to his morning class. Beomgyu had his routine down to a science. Supposedly they were going to observe a gallbladder removal at the hospital today, which should be interesting if it actually happened. Sometimes they canceled the observations last-minute if the surgeon had an emergency case pop up.
Beomgyu scrolled through Twitter absent-mindedly, snorting at a Tweet Yeonjun had sent him in his DMs before shooting off a snarky reply. His older brother was probably awake, too, maybe making breakfast or at the gym with Taehyun before getting ready to go to his boring corporate job. Not that medical school was any less boring, but at least becoming a pediatrician sometime in the next decade would be fun. He’d already heard far too many tales from Soobin during his time in residency.
He was fresh out of the shower with his towel still on when his phone dinged with a new email. Glancing at it, he recognized his school email address. Sure enough, the gallbladder surgery had been canceled.
Trying not to feel too excited at the prospect of a free morning, Beomgyu thought about just getting back in bed. Maybe he’d watch another episode of that drama, or scroll Twitter until he fell asleep. On second thought, his laptop was definitely still plugged into the TV out in the living room. Twitter it was, then.
His eyelids drooped closed somewhere after scrolling past a vaguely nauseating thirst tweet about Jungkook from BTS (following Yeonjun meant that all sorts of upsetting things ended up on his timeline against his will), and he didn’t wake up until he heard Soobin shuffling around in the kitchen. He checked his phone.
12:04 PM, December 13th. Exactly three months until his birthday.
Beomgyu shot out of bed in a panic. Three months until his birthday. He was fucked, so royally and completely fucked by the whims of the American pharmaceutical industry. Why hadn’t this occurred to him sooner? He called the first person he could think of. Hopefully Yeonjun would be having lunch in his and Taehyun’s bougie downtown apartment today, instead of eating some overpriced salad at the office.
“Hello?” Yeonjun’s face appeared on the screen, bite of kale halfway to his mouth. Beomgyu recognized the painting on the wall in the dining room. His brother was wearing an argyle sweater vest over a collared shirt and tie, and he had his wire-framed glasses.
“Hyung,” Beomgyu said, stumbling over his words a little. “It’s December 13th.”
Yeonjun’s brows scrunched together, lips coming out in a confused pout like a duck. “Yeah, I know.”
“I’m 25, hyung,” Beomgyu told him. That didn’t seem to help Yeonjun’s confusion, but Beomgyu’s brain was running so fast his mouth could hardly keep up. “I’m almost 26.”
“Yeah, I know that too.”
“No, I mean– I get kicked off of your insurance plan in three months.”
There was a moment of silence on the FaceTime call. A piece of kale fell off of Yeonjun’s fork back onto his plate. “Shit. You didn’t figure that out already!?”
“No!” Beomgyu cried. “When would I have time to figure that out, I got diagnosed in college! I was six months from finishing my pre-med major, it was already too late to change my mind–“
Yeonjun swore again, shoving a bite of salad into his mouth and chewing aggressively. The camera angle had changed to become a rather unattractive view of his chin, which probably meant that he was typing on his phone. Normally Beomgyu would’ve taken a screenshot to use as blackmail later, but right now he was too busy freaking out to care. “Fuck. UCLA doesn’t do insurance for post-graduate students.”
“I am so screwed,” Beomgyu groaned. “I’m going to have to drop out and get a fucking corporate job. It’s not like I can work two jobs, I’m starting my residency next year. The United States is going to lose out on the world’s goddamn best future pediatrician, all because of some stupid government policy. Why can’t we have universal healthcare? All the other countries do it, and their hospital systems are just as good as ours if not better…” Beomgyu was ranting now, but it didn’t seem like Yeonjun was listening.
“You either have to move out of the country or get married,” Yeonjun said grimly. The little white rectangle of his phone screen was reflected in his eyes. “At least, those are the two most viable options. Getting medical and prescription insurance would be really expensive, and you’d probably still have high copays on your medication. This website says that a lot of health insurance plans also raise your rates if you have to see a specialist regularly.”
“I can’t move out of the country and still finish med school, I might as well just drop out at that point.” Beomgyu was so stressed he was sweating, and he’d just showered. “I hate to break it to you, hyung, but no one’s going to marry me. I’m totally fucked.”
“I’ll marry you.” Beomgyu nearly dropped his phone at the sound of Taehyun’s voice. He hadn’t known that the younger was also sitting there with Yeonjun, but he supposed that it made sense. Yeonjun and Taehyun lived a couple of blocks from the office, so it was pretty convenient to eat at home. “I’m at the same company, your insurance wouldn’t change at all. That would work, right?”
“Yeah,” Yeonjun answered, turning the phone around so that Taehyun’s face showed up on the screen. Taehyun looked put-together in his usual light grey suit and business tie, the company’s blue lanyard still around his neck. His black hair was styled neatly, and he waved when he saw Beomgyu.
“Hi, Beomgyu hyung. I’ll marry you, problem solved.”
Beomgyu gawked at him for several seconds, staring down at his phone dumbly. “I– you can’t do that.”
“Why?” Taehyun put a spoonful of something that looked like tomato soup in his mouth. “It’s just a bunch of legal documents, basically.”
“No, I mean we’d be married,” Beomgyu stressed. “Like, I would be your husband.”
Taehyun laughed. “I know what the word means. It’s just paperwork though, right? We would be legally married, but other than that it’s completely chill. We can just get divorced when you’re done with your residency, if you want.”
Beomgyu blinked. “That’s three years at minimum. Could be more like five. You want to be– I don’t know, attached to me for five years?”
Taehyun shrugged. “Sounds okay. You’re a cool dude.”
There was a long pause. Beomgyu scrubbed a hand over his face with the sleeve of his hoodie while Taehyun continued to eat his soup. “Okay, I guess.”
Taehyun looked up at the phone, eyes shining with the reflection of the artsy light fixture above the dining room table. “Okay, like– you’ll do it?”
“You just offered to solve all of my life problems. I’d be stupid to turn you down right now, Taehyun.”
Taehyun chuckled. “Not all of your life problems. Soobin hyung told me that applying for residency was so stressful his hair started falling out.”
“That’s true,” Beomgyu admitted. “But at least I won’t have to worry about my brain becoming dollar-store Pikachu while I’m doing it.”
Soobin took the news about as well as Beomgyu had been expecting him to– meaning, not well at all. The first thing he did was call Yeonjun back (on Beomgyu’s phone! He just wanted to go back to scrolling Twitter to avoid pondering his recent life-changing decision, for God’s sake,) and the two oldest members of their little friend group had a hushed, rapid-fire back-and-forth conversation that Beomgyu could only halfway hear as he started on his second cup of coffee. Kai also took the news about as well as Beomgyu thought he would– there was a lot of shrieking, but that was about par for the course with Kai.
They had a little impromptu gathering at Yeonjun and Taehyun’s place on Thursday night, after Soobin’s shift at the hospital ended. Beomgyu was already there, having gone to pick up a sweater that he’d accidentally left the last time he was here, and Kai had whined about being left behind so much that Beomgyu had relented and brought him along. Soobin, too, had conveniently left a pair of sweatpants behind and decided to come over rather than have Beomgyu bring them back with him. He tried not to think too hard about what sort of situation would involve Soobin leaving a pair of pants behind at his brother’s apartment– sometimes, Yeonjun’s ears were suspiciously pink whenever he’d come out of Soobin’s room after a “sleepover”.
Taehyun was cooking when Beomgyu and Kai walked in, and Kai immediately beelined for the stove to pilfer whatever he could from the pan before Taehyun swatted him with the spatula. Kai sprinted out of the kitchen, giggles echoing through the apartment.
“Hi, hyung.”
“Hi, Tyun,” Beomgyu echoed. “Whatcha making? Smells good.”
“Fried rice,” Taehyun answered. “Yeonjun hyung told me you were coming, so I made enough for everyone. He said Soobin hyung’s on his way over from the hospital.”
“Weird,” Beomgyu muttered. When Taehyun gave him a look, he continued. “That Soobin hyung’s been texting my brother, I mean, and not me– you know, his roommate.”
Taehyun rolled his eyes. “Is it really that weird, though? I mean, you know how they are.”
Beomgyu was baffled. “What do you mean by that?”
Taehyun stared, the fried rice sizzling in the pan. “Do you really not– you know what, never mind. Forget I said anything.”
“No, hang on, you don’t just get to–“
Beomgyu was distracted from his interrogation by the sound of the front door opening. Kai gave a loud, shrill greeting, acting like he hadn’t seen Soobin in years despite the fact that Soobin had literally dropped him off at the café that morning. Taehyun turned the stove off, and the pair went into the living room.
“Kai, I love you so much but you do not want to hug me right now,” the blond said firmly. “I got puked on earlier, a kid didn’t react well to waking up from the anesthesia. I already showered at the hospital but is it okay if I shower again, hyung? I still feel weird.” Soobin turned the puppy eyes onto Yeonjun, who nodded immediately.
“Yeah. Let me get you something to wear, your towel’s still in the bathroom.” The two of them vanished into Yeonjun’s bedroom, leaving Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Kai on the couch.
Beomgyu frowned. “His towel? Why does Soobin hyung have a towel here?”
Kai chortled. “If you don’t already know, then I’m definitely not going to be the one to break it to you.”
All five of them sat down in the dining room fifteen minutes later, a monstrous platter of chicken fried rice on the table in front of them. Kai looked like he was ready to eat his fork– Taehyun had definitely heard his stomach growling earlier, and Yeonjun handed the maknae the platter first before taking it and dishing for himself and then Soobin. Taehyun took it next, and Beomgyu had to hold in a noise of surprise when Taehyun put two big scoops of rice on his plate before taking any for himself. No one else seemed to think anything was out of the ordinary, though, and when Beomgyu looked around he saw that Kai had already wolfed down half of his serving. Yeonjun took two pieces of chicken off of his own plate and put them on Soobin’s, the younger looking at him adoringly with his round cheeks already stuffed full food. Very odd. Beomgyu resolved to keep a closer eye on them in the future.
“So, Beomgyu hyung. When do you want to get married?”
Beomgyu immediately choked on a bite of fried rice, and Taehyun patted his back firmly while he coughed. Kai handed him a glass of water, and Beomgyu finally managed to respond once he’d cleared his windpipe. “I thought you were kind of mostly kidding about that.”
“Of course not. I don't want you to have to drop out of med school, and I also don’t want you to– you know. Die, or anything.”
“He wouldn’t die,” Soobin piped up. “I actually used his MRI scans and EEGs for a case study a couple years ago. My professor was fascinated, said he rarely sees complex partial seizures stemming from in-utero cortical dysplasia without the presentation of other severe neurological symptoms–“
“Soobin hyung,” Kai interrupted. “English, please.”
“The epilepsy won’t hurt him,” Soobin said. “As long as he’s not, like, driving a car or operating a forklift when it happens.”
“That’s why it took him so long to get diagnosed,” Yeonjun added, words muffled by a bite of rice. “He just sort of starts staring off into space, and sometimes he blinks a lot. It’s all controlled by the medication now, though. He’s perfectly safe to drive.”
“Oh,” Taehyun said, sounding relieved. “That’s good. I was really worried.”
“Still want to marry me?” Beomgyu chuckled. He fumbled with his fork when Taehyun nodded. “What? You can’t be serious.”
“Completely,” Taehyun replied. “It would be bad if you suddenly zoned out while you were talking to a patient, or like, in the middle of the highway. We would probably have to live together, though. Are you okay with that?”
“Wha– um, yes, of course that’s fine,” Beomgyu spluttered. “But you don’t want to– you know, marry someone you actually love?”
Taehyun’s eyes were suddenly on his plate in front of him, and he made a noncommittal sound. “I’m not really worried about that, to be honest. I think the odds of finding someone else are pretty slim.”
“Okay,” Beomgyu said slowly. “If you’re sure, I guess. Our lease is up in January, I can start looking for apartments tomorrow.”
Taehyun tilted his head. “You don’t just want to live here? You could just switch with Yeonjun hyung, I’m sure he would love to– I mean, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind living with Soobin hyung and Kai.”
“Wait,” Kai yelped. “Hang on, you can’t con me into third-wheeli–“
“That’s perfect!” Yeonjun interrupted loudly. “We’ll just swap leases, Gyu.”
“Uh, the scholarship stipend is generous and all that, but I don’t think I can afford this apartment,” Beomgyu said. “We’re literally in the middle of downtown. Broke student, remember?”
Taehyun shook his head quickly. “Don’t worry about that. Tech company salary.”
“Absolutely not,” Beomgyu protested. “You’re already offering to marry me, I can’t be your sugar baby on top of that.”
“Ew, gross, can we not have this conversation while I’m eating?” Yeonjun grumbled. “If you’re going to make that sort of arrangement, talk about it on your own time.”
“You’re already going to be his sugar baby in the all-knowing eyes of the health insurance overlords,” Soobin pointed out. “All I know is that if a hot guy was offering to marry me and pay my rent, I’d say yes straight away.”
Yeonjun suddenly looked like he was thinking a lot about that statement. Beomgyu was just starting to put two and two together when Taehyun said something that made every thought he’d ever had evaporate from his brain. “Cool. Wanna get married in like, the end of February or early March then? It’s short notice, but hopefully three months is enough time to arrange as much as possible. My sister’s already making a Pinterest board.”
“A what?” Beomgyu suddenly had terrible visions of double-decker vanilla cakes with a little pair of figurines on top, and hideous stock card invitations written in a curling font. “I thought this going to be, like, a going-to-the-courthouse-and-signing-papers type of wedding, not–“
“She was really excited when I told her,” Taehyun said. “And you know, I figured since you only get married– well, hopefully you only get married once, so I thought maybe we should at least try to throw some sort of party.”
“A party?” Kai gasped. “Can I be the wedding DJ?”
“Fine. Party yes, but you as the DJ absolutely not.” Beomgyu narrowed his eyes at the maknae across the table. “Even if it’s an insurance wedding, I will not be getting married to the Attack on Titan intro.”
Kai looked very put-out by that, and Taehyun pulled out his phone. “Cool. I’ll text you the link to the Pinterest board. Her friend owns a vineyard, apparently, so she thinks she can get us a venue there even though it’s only three months out.”
It was just Beomgyu and Yeonjun at Christmas, like it had been every single year since he was sixteen. The other three had gone home to spend Christmas with their families, so Yeonjun basically just colonized Soobin’s bedroom and stayed in Beomgyu’s apartment for the week. His brother was loud and annoying to live with, but Beomgyu secretly adored him. He’d take death before he ever admitted it to Yeonjun’s face, though.
Beomgyu was surprised when Taehyun came back early, arriving in LA on New Year’s Eve. He said something about needing to do a couple of things for work, even though Beomgyu was sure that most of his job could be done remotely. They went out to a galbi place on New Year’s, and Taehyun successfully wrestled the check from Yeonjun before putting his card down. Beomgyu hadn’t even tried– he’d seen a lot of slutty gym bro videos from Yeonjun and Taehyun’s morning workouts, and thought maybe he shouldn’t risk the life-altering injury.
Beomgyu was supposed to go for a surgery observation at the local hospital the day after New Year’s, because apparently torn rotator cuffs didn’t care about conventional holidays. That could’ve been him on the table, he thought while re-reading the email brief– if he’d been stupid enough to try to battle-royale Taehyun at the galbi restaurant the way that Yeonjun had. He was already dressed and five minutes from leaving his apartment when he got another email. The surgery had been canceled.
Letting out a sigh of relief, Beomgyu threw on a pair of sweatpants and got straight back in bed. He flicked through a couple of notifications (he really needed to block Yeonjun on Twitter for the sake of his sanity), and then landed on the Pinterest board. He’d scrolled through it briefly after Taehyun had sent it, but it looked like it had been padded out significantly in the weeks since. Apparently Taehyun’s older sister had gone a bit overboard with the flower arrangement ideas, and Beomgyu switched to his messages to tell him as much.
tyun:
Yeah, that’s what I told her. I already contacted a couple of florists, though, and they said they’d be able to do two or three different centerpieces on short notice.
Me:
wait, u did????
tyun:
Of course. My sister has been bugging me about suit fittings for days now, too. She said alterations can take a while.
This was starting to sound a lot less like casual wedding between bros and a lot more like very serious wedding between lovers, but Beomgyu supposed that he should let Taehyun’s sister live out her dreams. Taehyun was doing him a massive favor, after all, and it wasn’t doing Beomgyu any harm to indulge her. Maybe to his wallet, though.
Me:
ok i can see if i can bully yeonjun hyung into taking me somewhere to get a suit. idk anything about that so hopefully that corporate attire knowledge pulls thru
tyun:
I’m sure you’ll look great no matter what, I’m not worried.
tyun:
Aren’t you supposed to be watching a surgery right now?
Me:
yea but it got canceled. how did u know?
tyun:
You told me yesterday during dinner.
Me:
damn ngl i kinda forgot. soju be hitting ya know
tyun:
I remember everything you tell me.
Well. Beomgyu very much did not know how to respond to that, so he left the message thread open and tossed his phone on his nightstand before getting out of bed. His belongings were sort of half-packed in boxes haphazardly around his bedroom, and he knew for a fact that most of Yeonjun’s stuff was currently residing in Soobin’s room. Soobin was due back tomorrow, so Beomgyu needed to get moving. As much as Soobin definitely had a soft spot for Yeonjun, he didn’t think that his roommate (now ex-roommate, he supposed) would take kindly to four peoples’ worth of clothing permanently taking up residence in his closet.
Beomgyu whistled off-key to himself as he tossed the last pair of sneakers into a box, a couple of jackets going in randomly on top. Soobin had the car at the hospital today, so Beomgyu would either have to steal it back when his shift was over or convince Yeonjun to make a couple of runs back and forth between their apartments at lunch. At least he didn’t have to worry about moving furniture.
There was a knock on the front door. Confused, Beomgyu exited his bedroom and went to answer it. Maybe Kai had accidentally left his keys at home when he went to his morning shift. There was a distinct lack of panicked texts and crying emojis in Beomgyu’s inbox, though, which was usually what happened when the youngest forgot his keys.
When Beomgyu opened the door, Taehyun was standing on the other side. He was wearing a hoodie, and there was no sign of a lanyard. “Wha– Taehyun, what’re you doing here?”
“You said you were stressed about packing yesterday,” Taehyun answered. “I told my boss I’m taking the day off. I brought my car.”
“You can’t– no,” Beomgyu argued when Taehyun held up his fob. “We are not cramming all of my shit into the Lexus.”
“Sure we are,” Taehyun said lightly, passing right by Beomgyu into the apartment. “I know Soobin hyung has your guys’ car, I saw it on Kai’s Instagram story this morning. You know, the one where they were singing to Justin Bieber really loudly in the Starbucks drive-thru.” He surveyed the wasteland of boxes and poorly-organized belongings in Beomgyu’s bedroom appraisingly. “Actually, this looks pretty good. We’ll be done before lunch for sure.”
It felt weirdly domestic, to be moving the contents of his life into Taehyun’s apartment. Taehyun didn’t let him carry anything heavier than the lamp from his nightstand, and it mostly ended in Taehyun making trips out to the car with boxes stacked high while Beomgyu tried to make sure that nothing got left behind. Not that it would matter if anything did, of course, since he could just drive back over or bully his brother into bringing it for him.
Beomgyu took one last look at what used to be his room, devoid of anything besides the bed, the dresser, and the nightstand. No doubt Yeonjun would have a lot of work cut out for him, trying to cram three peoples’ worth of clothes into the dresser and the tiny closet. It really was a nice place, all things considered, and Beomgyu thought maybe he’d miss seeing Soobin’s puffy face in the mornings or yelling with Kai over hyper-competitive games of Mario Kart. He shook his head a little to clear his thoughts.
Taehyun opened the passenger side door for him when they got out to the car, and Beomgyu winced as he looked into the back seat. The boxes were lodged in with efficiency, but he was sure that the corners were digging into the leather interior and probably scuffing the seats. Taehyun didn’t seem to mind, though– he got in and put his seatbelt on, smacking Beomgyu’s arm lightly.
“Stop stressing, I can practically hear your brain running itself in circles. You’re the med student, you know exactly how bad stress is for your body. Plus, dollar-store Pikachu and all that.”
“You’re sure this is okay?” Beomgyu asked. “I mean all of this. Me moving in, and us getting married, and–“
“I asked you to marry me,” Taehyun reminded him. “I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t sure.”
Beomgyu searched Taehyun’s face. They’d known each other for several years now, long enough that Beomgyu felt like he’d know if the younger was lying. There was no hint of discomfiture on his features, just a steady calmness as he watched the road ahead of them. Beomgyu had always thought that his side profile was pretty– impossibly large eyes, tall nose bridge, sharp jawline.
Something in Beomgyu’s stomach lurched, and he forced himself to stare blankly out the passenger side window. It was ironic, he thought. They’d be married in just a few weeks, and only now did he feel like maybe his gaze had lingered too long.
The following month ran together in Beomgyu’s brain. The second semester was already kicking his ass, and it was barely February. It had taken him weeks of unpacking and sorting things to feel like he was finally settled, between the increased course load at school and all of the research he was now having to put into residency applications. He definitely regretted not doing a more organized move while he still had free time over Christmas.
He hardly had the space in his brain to worry about something as trivial as a wedding, at this point, and most days he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. It was pretty much the same routine he’d had before, except that Taehyun was the one at the kitchen counter with a cup of coffee in the mornings or cooking when Beomgyu came back from class in the evenings. He always had another cup of coffee ready, too, and they usually ate dinner together at the table under the artsy light fixture. If it wasn’t for the invisible doomsday clock hanging over Beomgyu’s head, ticking down the minutes until March 13, he could almost pretend like they were just regular old roommates.
“It’s Taehyun’s birthday tomorrow,” Soobin said, while they were sitting in the library on campus. Beomgyu was half-listening, distractedly typing away on his laptop, while Soobin wasted time until his next class and generally behaved like a nuisance.
“I know,” Beomgyu replied. He scanned down the index of his textbook on the desk to see if he could find any relevant definitions, but came up blank. Google it was, then.
“What are you planning on doing for him?”
“Uh, I got him a cool pair of soccer shoes he was talking about last week. Why?”
Soobin didn’t respond for a second, and when Beomgyu glanced away from his screen the older’s face was folded in a look of disgust. “You’re getting him shoes?”
“What?!” Beomgyu said defensively. “I said they’re cool shoes! He literally told me he wanted them, it was the perfect opportunity–“
“I don’t know,” Soobin mused. “Don’t you think you should do something a little more… special?”
“What do you mean?” Beomgyu asked. Neurology was so stupid, why was he researching patient symptom reports on the condition he literally had? Wasn’t his own opinion good enough?
“You’re his fiancé.”
That stopped Beomgyu’s thoughts completely. He gaped at Soobin on the other side of the desk, the blond slurping absent-mindedly on his iced Americano. It was a while before Beomgyu could get anything coherent to come out of his mouth.
“You think he’s… expecting something?”
“Probably not,” Soobin shrugged. “Knowing him, I mean. He’ll be happy that you even remembered.”
Beomgyu threw his hands in the air in frustration. “So why did you scare me like that, then?! Hyung, if you wanted to see an example of an acute cardiac arrest patient just go back to the damn hospital–“
“I’m just saying that it might be nice if you did something different this year,” Soobin interrupted, stirring his Americano with the straw. “Since he’s kind of saving your life, and all.”
Beomgyu collapsed face-down over his laptop and groaned. His noises of distress didn’t seem even remotely out of place in this section of the library, and none of the other students batted an eye. His next words were muffled against the tabletop. “If you’re going to be all cryptic and weird, don’t. Whatever you’re trying to subtly imply, just spit it out, hyung. My brain is already a smooth purée from reading fifty-five pages of symptom reports.”
Soobin gave a labored sigh. “Take him out to dinner, Gyu. Ask him how work is going, ask about his family, anything. He’s always thinking about you, you know? It wouldn’t hurt to reciprocate a little.”
Beomgyu’s mouth opened and shut like a goldfish. “I do. I mean, we eat dinner together all the time. His project manager’s a dick, and his mom’s lemon tree is producing so many lemons that she’s started mailing them to the whole family. We have like, twelve in the freezer.”
Soobin slapped a hand to his forehead, looking flabbergasted. “You’re impossible! Completely and totally impossible. Are you being willfully obtuse?” He jabbed an accusatory finger in Beomgyu’s direction. “Who made your coffee this morning?”
“Taehyun,” Beomgyu answered. Obviously.
“And who drove you here, even though you could’ve just taken the bus?”
“Taehyun.” Beomgyu had no idea where this was going, but Soobin’s neck was getting redder and redder by the second.
“Who’s going to make you dinner tonight, and remembers everything you don’t like without ever having to ask?”
“… Taehyun.”
“See!” Soobin cried. “He’s always doing things for you, he likes doing things for you! He offered to marry you, for God’s sake. Why do you think he did that?”
“Because– you just said, didn’t you?” Beomgyu felt like his brain-purée was sloshing around uselessly inside his skull. “He likes doing things for me.”
Soobin’s expression melted into something like pity. “You really don’t get it, do you.”
“Get what? Did he say something to you?” Panic started to settle in Beomgyu’s gut. “Was he just being polite? Should I have turned him down?”
“No! Just– try, please, Beomgyu.” Soobin looked like he’d aged five years since he’d sat down across from Beomgyu with his obnoxiously large iced Americano. “Reciprocate. Don’t let Taehyun feel like he’s doing all this for someone who wouldn’t do it for him. Unless…” Soobin trailed off, a flash of horror in his eyes. “Unless you really don’t care?”
“What!? No, that’s not– I care about him hyung, of course I do.” The sentence came out softer than Beomgyu had meant for it to, somehow. Even the implication of Soobin’s question made him feel sick.
Soobin slumped back against his chair. “Then show him that,” he said quietly. “It’s just one day.”
Beomgyu felt hyper-aware of Taehyun’s presence that night. When Beomgyu walked into the kitchen, he was stirring something on the stove and singing along to a BTS song playing from the speaker on the windowsill. He didn’t have his jacket on anymore, and his broad shoulders looked toned even through the white collared shirt. His sleeves were pushed up, showing his forearms, and Beomgyu was temporarily stunned. Taehyun was handsome. Beomgyu had known it before, of course, but something about his conversation with Soobin dredged up an emotion he couldn’t name as he watched Taehyun delicately sweep diced onions off of a cutting board into the pot.
“Hi, hyung,” Taehyun greeted, when he noticed Beomgyu standing dumbly next to the counter. “Are you okay? You look kind of… like you have the dollar-store Pikachu thing going.”
“You’re hot,” Beomgyu blurted, and then smacked his hand over his mouth. “Wait, no! I didn’t mean that. I mean– I did, you are hot, but it’s like– uh, an objective statement. You know, just… a fact.”
“Oh,” Taehyun said. His eyes were so big, skin glowing warm caramel in the light of the pink sunset from the kitchen window. His mouth twitched, like he was going to say something else, and then changed his mind. “Thanks, hyung.”
“Um, yeah,” Beomgyu mumbled. “I didn’t mean to– sorry.”
“No, that’s okay,” Taehyun said lightly. “You’re hot, too.”
Beomgyu felt like his entire being had short-circuited at that, and he couldn’t stop the next thing that came out of his mouth. It was like Soobin’s words had invaded his body and made him go completely haywire. “Go to dinner with me.”
Taehyun looked speechless, and Beomgyu heard a tiny intake of breath. His eyes flickered over Beomgyu’s face, mouth parted ever so slightly, and he swallowed. “I’m making dinner right now, though.”
“No, I mean tomorrow. For your birthday. We can go to that Italian place you like.”
“Okay.” There was a pretty smile on Taehyun’s face as he turned back to the stove. “That sounds fun.”
“Good. I– sorry,” Beomgyu said again, exhaling. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“No, it’s fine,” Taehyun replied softly. “I like it.”
Why was choosing an outfit suddenly so stressful? Taehyun had seen Beomgyu in his pajamas, in his last-ditch sweatpants with the soy sauce stain when he was too lazy to do laundry until the absolute minute, in the ugly blue scrubs he had to wear when he went to shadow a physician at the hospital. This was casual, just a dinner to celebrate Taehyun’s birthday on a chilly Tuesday evening. It wasn’t like he needed to impress.
The entire contents of Beomgyu’s closet were currently spread out over his bed. He’d tried on practically everything, but nothing felt right. He called Yeonjun.
“Sup,” Yeonjun said, answering almost right away. Beomgyu recognized the sofa in his old apartment. “I already gave Taehyun his birthday present at work today, don’t worry. Soobinnie reminded me four times not to forget it before I left this morning.”
“I need help.” Beomgyu flipped the FaceTime camera around to show his bed, and Yeonjun’s eyes widened. “I’m going to dinner with Taehyun tonight but I don’t know what to wear.”
“Damn.” Yeonjun whistled lowly as Beomgyu panned over all of the potential outfit options. “Uh, okay. Where are you going?”
“The Italian place near the museum,” Beomgyu answered. “We went there when his sister was in town, remember?”
“Oh, yeah. That place was really good. Hmm, how about that spotted button-down right there? You could just put it over a t-shirt and a pair of jeans, or something.”
“I don’t know, I wore that to movie night two weeks ago.”
“Gyu,” Yeonjun said exasperatedly. “You’ve been friends for years, you live with him. He’s seen everything you own. Why do you care that much, anyways?”
Beomgyu didn’t have an answer to that. He normally wasn’t one to bother much with fashion, seeing as his face was good-looking enough to cover it anyways. This was much more of a Yeonjun thing to stress about. Why did he care so much?
“How about the green sweater with the black trim?”
Yeonjun’s suggestion derailed his train of thought, and he tossed his phone on his bed to go to his closet. That particular sweater, an emerald one that he’d bought years ago, rarely got worn these days. It was at the very back of the shelf. He pulled it out and held it up in front of the mirror.
“I know it’s like the first date sweater, or whatever, but at least you know for sure that you look good in it. The color is perfect for you.” Yeonjun’s voice came out tinny and small from Beomgyu’s phone on the bed, and Beomgyu took off the hoodie he was currently wearing to switch to a plain white t-shirt and the green sweater. Yeonjun was right– he did look good in it. Beomgyu retrieved his phone from the bed, holding it up to the mirror so that Yeonjun could see.
“Yeah, that’s perfect. God, when’s the last time you wore that thing? You haven’t been on a date in months. Years, maybe. It’s getting sad, Gyu,” Yeonjun teased.
“Shut up,” Beomgyu grumbled. “I’m hanging up now, I’m going to be late to the living room if I don’t finish getting ready.”
Yeonjun laughed. “Have fun. He’s going to think you’re the prettiest fiancé ever.”
“I’m his only fiancé,” Beomgyu said pointedly. “And you guys need to stop saying that, you and Soobin hyung. It makes this seem way too serious.”
“Is it not?” Yeonjun shot back. “Serious, I mean.”
“Enough,” Beomgyu growled. “Both of you are demons intent on causing me an existential crisis. This is a chill wedding between bros as a fuck-you to Big Pharma.”
“Okay, tell that to your Pinterest board.”
Beomgyu hung up after that, fuming to himself as he smudged a tiny bit of eyeliner at the corners of his eyes and put a swipe of gloss on his lips. If he was wearing the first-date sweater, he might as well do the full first-date routine. He doubted that Taehyun would even know the difference.
“Thank you for dinner,” Taehyun said, in the car on the way home. Beomgyu was actually very proud of himself for that one– rather than trying to get into a sudden death match with Taehyun over the check, he’d managed to slip away and pay for everything under the guise of going to the bathroom. Genius behavior, if you asked him.
“You’re welcome,” Beomgyu replied cheerfully. “That place slaps, I forgot how good the breadsticks are.”
Taehyun chuckled, eyes on the highway as a motorcycle roared past. “Thanks for the soccer shoes, too. And for making breakfast, and coming to see me at the office during lunch. Everything, really. I wasn’t expecting much since it’s the middle of the week and everyone’s busy, but… it was really nice.”
A bubble of pride warmed Beomgyu’s chest. “You’re welcome. I figured after everything, it was the least I could do.”
There was silence between them for a moment, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Beomgyu’s fingers drummed on the side of the door, a pop song he didn’t recognize playing low on the speakers. There were no stars visible tonight from the LA light pollution, but the crescent moon hung white against the velvet dark sky.
“You look really pretty. I’ve never seen that sweater before, it’s nice on you.”
Beomgyu felt himself flush at Taehyun’s words, and he was glad that it was mostly dark inside the car. “Oh. I usually wear it on first dates, but obviously– you know, haven’t had one of those in a while. Probably won’t, since I’m going to be married and all.” He gave a stilted laugh that sounded more awkward than anything, and had to resist the urge to kick himself in the face.
“My parents want to meet you,” Taehyun said eventually. “They don’t know that it’s not– that we’re not together like that. I thought it would be easier to accept their only son getting married on short notice if they believed that we were… madly in love, I guess.”
“Oh.” It took Beomgyu’s brain a long time to process, and he tugged at the sleeve of the emerald sweater. “Yeah, I’ll meet them. That’s not fair, though. You’ll never have the stress of meeting the in-laws,” he joked weakly. “My parents would rather assassinate me than see me get married to a guy.”
“Is that why it’s just you and Yeonjun hyung?”
Beomgyu nodded, still looking at his hands in his lap. “They weren’t that great in the first place, so when they kicked Yeonjun hyung out for being gay I figured I’d just go with. Lucky timing, I guess, since I realized a year later that I was also a flaming homosexual.” It wasn’t something he talked about frequently, and his pasta churned in his stomach as memories flashed through his brain.
Taehyun took his hand. He reached over the center console to loop his fingers around Beomgyu’s own, startling him out of his reverie. Taehyun’s gaze was still on the road, face strangely expressionless as he drove. Beomgyu smiled, even though Taehyun wasn’t looking.
Several days later, Beomgyu woke up late. His surgery observation had been canceled the day before, and he didn’t have class until the afternoon. It was glorious, waking up with the sun blazing high in the sky outside and warming the sheets. After lazing around for another couple of minutes, he decided to get out of bed in search of coffee.
The apartment was still, Taehyun obviously having left for work hours ago. He shuffled into the kitchen in his pajamas, a cloud of brown hair in his peripheral.
On the counter was a vase full of flowers, reds and pinks and whites coming together in a gorgeous spray with a big ribbon around the middle. Next to it was a box of something– fancy chocolates, he realized when he got closer. There was a note stuck to the top.
Beomgyu hyung,
Sorry I couldn’t be here when you woke up, but I hope you had a nice morning. Kai said these are really good, by the way. Dinner tonight?
— KTH
Flowers. And chocolate. What day was it? He dug his phone out of his pocket.
February 14.
“Oh my God,” he whispered to himself. He fumbled to unlock his phone, going straight to his message thread with Taehyun.
Me:
omg why did u get me this stuff it’s way too nice
Taehyun responded very quickly, the little ‘typing’ bubble appearing at the bottom of the thread. Office jobs were cushy like that, Beomgyu supposed. Texting on the job was much easier at a desk than mid-surgery.
tyun:
It’s Valentine’s Day.
Me:
no i know that dumbass i meant that you didn’t have to get me anything. we didn’t get each other anything last year. i think yj and sb just do this kind of stuff bc they’re weird
tyun:
You weren’t my fiancé last year.
There was that word again. Why was everyone using that word? Aggravated, he went to look at Kai’s location. His little blue dot was still in the apartment. Beomgyu hit ‘call’.
“Gyu hyung!”
“Kai,” Beomgyu hissed. “Why didn’t you tell me that Taehyun was getting me something for Valentine’s Day?”
Kai tilted his head like a puppy, eyes sparkly even though the shitty front-facing camera. “I thought you guys did that kind of stuff, he told me you took him for a really nice dinner on his birthday. Yeonjun hyung and Soobin hyung got each other Valentine’s Day presents even before they were– uh…”
“Yes, because they have attachment issues,” Beomgyu said, running a hand through his tangled hair exasperatedly. “I don’t have time to unpack whatever bizarre relationship they have going on right now. I need you to help me figure out what the fuck I’m going to do for Taehyun.”
“Oh?” There was suddenly a very pleased look on Kai’s face. “You want to get him a Valentine’s Day present, too?”
“Well, yeah, I’m trying to– Soobin hyung was bullying me about reciprocating. I’m trying to be a good friend.”
“Hmm. That’s a weird way to say fiancé.”
If they were still living together, this was the point at which he would’ve tackled Kai onto the couch with a war cry. The youngest was tall, but his noodle-y limbs were no match for Beomgyu’s unbridled aggression. Instead, he settled for putting his face very close to the camera and making a threatening noise.
“Huening Kai, be helpful or I’m hanging up.”
“Okay, okay,” Kai acquiesced. “I think Yeonjun hyung dropped Soobin hyung off at the hospital after taking him out for breakfast today, so the car should still be here. I’ll come get you, we can go shopping.”
“Capitalism,” Beomgyu muttered bitterly, before agreeing to Kai’s proposition and ending the call. He hated the concept, but Taehyun– well. He was competitive, dammit. If Taehyun was insisting on being a good fiancé, then Beomgyu had no choice but to be a better one.
Me:
it is on, kang taehyun
March 4. That was the date that they’d set for the wedding, just barely squeezing it in before Beomgyu’s birthday nine days later. They were talking about the details over brunch with Taehyun’s family, his parents and sister on the other side of the table. Beomgyu had met Taehyun’s sister before, of course, but he couldn’t help feeling a little intimidated still. Taehyun’s father was rather austere-looking, but his mother was short and curly-haired with a kind smile.
Just after they’d sat down, Beomgyu suddenly remembered what Taehyun had said in the car. His parents thought they were in love. He shifted his chair closer, so that their arms brushed when they moved and their knees touched beneath the table. Taehyun looked surprised for a moment, but his expression quickly melted into a smile. Beomgyu felt like his breath got stuck in his throat when Taehyun’s arm stretched over the back of his chair, thumb smoothing over Beomgyu’s shoulder just out of view of his parents. It made some of the writhing nerves in his stomach settle. Taehyun’s sister flashed him a knowing grin.
Yeonjun went with him to pick up the suit they’d chosen back in January, a cream-colored one with a double-breasted jacket. It fit perfectly, which Beomgyu was grateful for– he doubted that he’d have time to get it tailored again considering that the wedding was in just over a week. He had no idea what color Taehyun was going to be wearing, and just hoped that they didn’t clash too badly.
“Suit, shoes, ring… Wait, you did get a ring, right?” Yeonjun asked, as they were driving back.
“Yeah,” Beomgyu answered. “Cost way more money than I will ever admit to anyone, ever.”
Yeonjun chuckled. “Good. Taehyun’s probably burned twice that much on your rent this year.”
“Don’t remind me,” Beomgyu groaned. “Every time I think about what a massive financial burden I am on him it makes my hair grey. You know he hardly lets me pay for groceries, either.”
“He likes doing things for you.” Yeonjun hit the turn signal, merging into the exit lane.
“Soobin hyung said that too.” Beomgyu fiddled with a string on the hem of his hoodie, trying to figure out how to phrase his next question.
“Hyung. Do you think this is… real to him?”
Yeonjun blinked, glancing at Beomgyu in the passenger seat. “Real in what way?”
“I don’t know,” Beomgyu replied quietly. “It just… I started paying more attention after that conversation with Soobin hyung, and I realized that he really does do everything for me. It’s like he spends his whole day thinking about how he can make my life better. He listens even when I talk too much, he remembers everything I say, he brings home little presents just because he thought I would like it, and despite all of that he never asks for anything in return.”
“Hasn’t he always been that way with you?”
“I guess,” Beomgyu mumbled. “But that just makes me feel worse. What if I’ve been missing something this entire time?”
Yeonjun’s lips quirked up into a funny sort of half-smile. “Do you want it to be real?”
“I don’t know,” Beomgyu said again. The loose string on the hem of his hoodie finally snapped, fluttering to the floor of Yeonjun’s car. “He was so happy on his birthday that it made me feel– awful, honestly. If all it takes to make him happy is spending time with him, saying nice things, doing even half of the things he does for me, then… what the hell have I been doing this entire time?”
“He is happy with you,” Yeonjun assured him. “Just letting him take care of you makes him happy.”
Beomgyu shook his head. “It’s not enough. I worry all the time that it’s not enough. I asked him if he’d ever consider dating again since it’s just a legal marriage, you know, so it wouldn’t technically be cheating, and he said no. What if he’s giving up his chance at love just because he’s too nice and selfless for his own good?”
They were on Beomgyu’s block now, and Yeonjun parked the car along the sidewalk next to one of the parking meters. He turned to look at Beomgyu over the center console.
“You want him to be happy, right? Don’t worry about the big stuff, just think about the little things you can do for him every day to make him smile. You’ve known him for a long time and it’s easy to get complacent, but you can still learn.” Yeonjun reached out to ruffle Beomgyu’s hair, a grin on his face. “You’ll figure it out. I have faith in you.”
The morning of March 4 was bright and sunny. Beomgyu woke up when Taehyun knocked on his door, a tray with toast, fruit, and a mug of coffee in his hands. Beomgyu sat up, trying and failing to smooth down his hair before Taehyun plopped the tray on his lap.
“Happy wedding day,” he said.
“Happy wedding day,” Beomgyu returned. “How long have you been up?”
“Just an hour or so,” Taehyun answered. “My sister started bugging me right at 8 AM to contact the vineyard and the florist and everything to make sure that nothing falls through. It was all fine, of course, but sometimes she’s more of a stressball than Yeonjun hyung.”
Beomgyu patted the bed next to him, and Taehyun sat. He smelled good, like shampoo and their shared laundry detergent. Beomgyu held up a strawberry, and Taehyun opened his mouth. He took a bite, leaving the top behind, and Beomgyu dropped the leaves back onto the tray. He leaned his head against Taehyun’s shoulder.
“I can’t believe we’re getting married.”
“Not getting cold feet, are you?” Taehyun joked.
“Nah. Couldn’t really think of someone better to get married to, if I’m honest.”
Taehyun smiled at that, so bright that Beomgyu felt like he might be temporarily blinded. For a moment, he was overwhelmed. He must’ve saved a kingdom in a past life, or something, to have Taehyun beside him now.
After he’d finished most of his breakfast and fed the rest to Taehyun, Beomgyu laid back down and slung his body over Taehyun so that they were cuddling. The younger rarely initiated physical contact, but Beomgyu knew that he secretly enjoyed it. Beomgyu liked it, too. It made something in the back of his brain purr with delight to have Taehyun this close.
“We should get up,” Taehyun said, after a while. “Can’t be late to our own wedding. My sister would kill me.”
“But I won’t see you for the rest of the day,” Beomgyu complained. “You know that your sister’s going to be super strict about the no-looking-until-the-ceremony thing, and Yeonjun hyung will be, too. Once we leave I won’t see you until we’re literally at the altar.”
Taehyun’s fingers ran through his hair, gentle and relaxing. “It’s not going to be that long. We go longer without seeing each other all the time.”
“Yeah, but–“ Beomgyu swallowed. “I’m going to be nervous if I’m not with you.”
Taehyun smiled again. Their faces were close, and Beomgyu was entranced by how long and fine his eyelashes were. “Don’t be nervous. It’s just my family and our dumbass friends. They all love you, I think my parents might like you better than me. I know for sure my sister does.”
Beomgyu nodded, though neither of them made any move to get out of bed. “Do you think Kai’s lost the rings yet?”
Taehyun chuckled, the sound vibrating beneath Beomgyu’s arm. “Nope. He told me that Soobin hyung confiscated them straight away for safe keeping. I’ll be surprised if he even let Kai keep the flower basket.”
Despite what Taehyun had told him, Beomgyu was jittery the whole time they were getting ready. Taehyun was in a different room somewhere with his family, while Beomgyu was with Yeonjun, Soobin, and Kai. As nervous as he was, it was comforting to know that his side of the aisle wouldn’t be empty. He felt a massive rush of affection for his friends.
Yeonjun styled Beomgyu’s hair while Soobin fiddled with his boutonnière. Kai was flitting around in the background, chattering and periodically feeding Beomgyu tiny snack sandwiches that Taehyun’s mother had prepared. Once Yeonjun had deemed him good-looking enough, he made Beomgyu stand up and turn in a circle to evaluate the state of his outfit. It was his way of showing love, Beomgyu thought, even if it made him feel a bit like a rotisserie chicken.
“You look good, Gyu,” he said finally. “He’s going to think you’re beautiful.”
There was a soft, wistful smile on Soobin’s face when he spoke. “He always thinks you’re beautiful.”
Something about the way that Soobin said it made Beomgyu think that maybe there was a chance that it was real. Suddenly, here in one of the vineyard’s back rooms usually reserved for wine tastings and definitely not weddings, he wanted it to be. He wanted Taehyun to look at him and see someone that made him happy.
Soobin must’ve detected a shift in his expression, because his eyes filled with tears. “Ack,” he said, dabbing at his face with his sleeve. Yeonjun handed him a packet of Kleenex from his pocket, patting him fondly.
“I hope you won’t be too embarrassed by Soobin hyung sobbing in the front row, hyung,” Kai piped up. “I guess technically we’ll all be sitting in the front row, but it’ll probably be embarrassing regardless.”
“Take lots of pictures,” Beomgyu told him. “I want full photo documentation to put in his wedding slideshow.”
Kai gave him an enthusiastic salute, and when Beomgyu looked back at Yeonjun he found that his brother’s eyes were teary, too. “Ah, hyung. Don’t cry, it’s just a wedding.”
“It’s your wedding, you asshole,” Yeonjun said, voice sort of weak and watery. “I’m about to watch my brother get married. I think I’m well within my rights to cry a little.”
Beomgyu heard a shutter sound over his shoulder, and when he glanced around he saw Kai holding up his phone. “The Yeonbin wedding slideshow is going to be awesome,” the maknae chortled. Beomgyu was just about to ask what that meant when there was a knock on the door, and Taehyun’s sister popped her head inside.
“It’s time?” Beomgyu asked.
She smiled and nodded. “It’s time. He’s already waiting.”
It wasn’t a huge space, but it didn’t need to be. Taehyun’s sister had gone full Pinterest-board mode, and it transformed the almost-empty room into something gorgeous. Sunlight streamed in through the windows, bathing the room in warmth, and a long white piece of fabric ran along the center of the room to mark the aisle. There were three chairs on either side, with Taehyun’s family sitting on one side and Soobin next to two empty chairs on the other. The altar was also framed by white fabric, artfully draped and decorated with flowers.
The moment Beomgyu made eye contact with Taehyun from just outside the door, his heart leaped into his throat. Taehyun’s suit was a delicate shade of lilac, so light that it could almost be mistaken for grey. They would look good together, Beomgyu thought, even if they weren’t matching. Taehyun was already smiling.
“Ready?” Kai whispered.
“Yep,” Beomgyu whispered back. “Show time, maknae.”
Kai grinned, and stuffed a hand into his basket. He came out with a big handful of flower petals, also lilac. Taehyun’s sister had planned every last detail out meticulously, it seemed.
There were giggles from both sides of the aisle as Kai marched towards the altar, enthusiastically sprinkling petals everywhere. He appeared to be taking his task very seriously, right until he emptied what appeared to be the entire remaining contents of the basket right onto Soobin’s lap. He then sat down next to his hyung with a flourish, and Soobin sprinkled some of the petals on top of Kai’s head. There was another round of laughter.
“That’s our cue,” Yeonjun murmured, his arm linked with Beomgyu’s. “Ready?”
Beomgyu looked at Taehyun across the room, more ready for this than anything else in his life. “Yes. Let’s go.”
Beomgyu knew that he should really be taking it all in as they walked down the aisle together, but he couldn’t see anything except Taehyun. The sunlight caught on his dark hair, making it shine, and his hands were folded neatly in front of him. He held Beomgyu’s gaze the entire time.
When they got to the altar, Yeonjun patted Taehyun’s shoulder. He gave Beomgyu a short, crushing hug, and Beomgyu could hear him sniffling as he went to go sit down. Now, every seat was filled.
The officiant, an old man with completely grey hair, began his part. Beomgyu couldn’t recall much of it; he was too busy staring at Taehyun. It was only when Taehyun opened his mouth to speak that Beomgyu remembered the vows.
“Beomgyu hyung,” he began. “If you had told me this time last year that I’d be getting married to the most incredible, stunning, brave, and sweet person I know, I wouldn’t have believed you. Not because you aren’t all of those things, but because I would never have even dreamed that you’d say yes to me. You make me happier than anyone else I’ve ever met just by existing.”
Beomgyu could see Taehyun’s mother crying out of the corner of his eye, and suddenly there was a lump in his throat, too. Taehyun’s expression was entirely sincere, and the look in his eyes was making Beomgyu’s heart beat so fast he was afraid he might pass out.
“I promise to make every day better than the last. I promise to bring you ice cream when you’re stressing about residency applications, and to listen to every single story from the hospital no matter how long it is. I promise to take care of you for as long as you’ll let me. I promise to live my life in service of my love for you.”
Beomgyu knew that it would probably happen– Taehyun’s parents thought that they were in love, after all, and it would seem very odd to get through an entire wedding ceremony without the words “I love you.” Still, it made tears spring to Beomgyu’s eyes. “Fuck,” he whispered, before clapping a hand over his mouth. Taehyun laughed, loud and bright, and handed Beomgyu a Kleenex from his pocket.
“I was going to say that I hope you become the best pediatrician in the Los Angeles metropolitan area, but that’s not true. I already know that you’re going to be the best pediatrician in the world. I hope you get everything you want, and I hope you’ll let me be there next to you. To my favorite dollar-store Pikachu hyung, I love you. ”
“I’m your only dollar-store Pikachu hyung,” Beomgyu muttered, voice wet, and he dabbed at his eyes with the Kleenex. Taehyun laughed again.
“Hyung,” he prompted after a moment. “It’s your turn.”
Beomgyu took a deep, steadying breath. His bangs flew up around his face when he exhaled, probably messing up all of Yeonjun’s hard work, but he didn’t care. All that mattered to him was Taehyun.
“Taehyunnie,” he said, forcing his voice to stay steady. “I’ve known you for five years, and I still feel like there’s more to learn every day. How kind you are, how smart, how stupidly, unbelievably selfless. You gave me a second chance I would’ve never gotten if you hadn’t chosen me, and I’ll be grateful for the rest of my life.”
Yeonjun was openly sobbing behind Beomgyu now, and he heard Kai’s phone camera before it was quickly silenced. “I’ve always thought that love was supposed to be this big, scary thing, but you taught me that love is also quiet and calm. It’s the smell of coffee first thing in the morning, and the sound of your voice when you sing in the kitchen while you’re making dinner. It’s the hundreds of things you do for me in a day without ever asking for something in return.”
Taehyun’s eyes had gone wide on the word “love”, his lips parted as he gazed up at Beomgyu. His hands were trembling in front of him. Beomgyu reached out to loop their fingers together.
“I hope you know that you can ask me for anything. I want to be someone you can rely on, someone who makes you happy, someone who’s worthy of all of the effort and love you put into me. I want you to be selfish with me. I want you to ask me for things so that I can be the one to give them to you. You already know that I think you’re hot, but what you don’t know is that I actually like it the best when you’re smiling.”
He took another deep breath, squeezing Taehyun’s hand. He’d originally written it in his vows for the sake of Taehyun’s parents, but when he spoke it felt as though it was just them. “I love you, and I wish I had better words to say it with. I just really love you.”
The officiant started droning on again after a pause, but Beomgyu kept Taehyun’s hand in his. Taehyun’s eyes were shining.
Was that okay? Beomgyu mouthed.
Taehyun nodded. Perfect.
“I now pronounce you husband and… husband.”
A flash of panic filled Beomgyu’s chest, and before he was even aware of what he was doing he tugged Taehyun forwards. His arms came up to hold him by the waist, and he pressed their lips together.
Once he regained his senses he was afraid that Taehyun would be upset, or maybe just too shocked to do anything. Instead, Taehyun melted into his embrace. His mouth was soft, gentle against Beomgyu’s own, and his hands were holding the front of Beomgyu’s jacket. It was a short kiss, but it felt real. Beomgyu wanted it to be real.
There was a lot of cheering and wolf-whistling when they broke apart, but they stayed close together. “Sorry,” Beomgyu breathed, so quietly that only Taehyun would be able to hear. His eyes darted towards where Taehyun’s parents were seated.
“Don’t be sorry,” Taehyun murmured. “Everything was perfect. You were perfect.”
The party afterwards was fun, too, but all Beomgyu could think about was getting Taehyun alone. The need to know was searing in his veins like fire, wild and all-consuming. The slideshow, courtesy of their friends and Taehyun’s sister, was equal parts hilarious and mortifying. He hoped that Taehyun’s parents didn’t think differently of him now that they’d seen exactly how crazy he was in college. Taehyun’s baby pictures were adorable, though, and Beomgyu was mildly bitter that he’d never had an ugly phase in middle school. Some people were just genetically superior.
It was silent on the drive back to the apartment save for whatever pop song was playing from the speakers. The ring felt heavy on his fourth finger. They had bought them separately, but somehow managed to get almost exactly matching ones– a simple silver band, thin bevel around the edges. The freeways were mercifully traffic-free that night, and by the time they made it into the dark living room Beomgyu felt like he was going to explode. He was shaking all over as he flicked on the lights.
“What are we?” He burst out.
Taehyun looked up from taking his shoes off, mouth open in a perfect ‘o’ shape. “Sorry, what?”
“I mean– I know we’re husbands, we just got married, but what are we?” There was desperation in his voice, but he didn’t think he could’ve hidden it even if he tried.
Taehyun’s mouth opened and closed again. “We’re whatever you want to be, hyung.”
“No,” Beomgyu insisted. “Taehyun, please. I need you to stop thinking about me for once and think about yourself. What do you want?”
Taehyun was looking at the floor, standing there in the living room in his fancy suit and socks. He’d taken his jacket off already; Beomgyu had seen him hang it up in the entryway. He shuffled around for a second, unsure. Afraid, maybe. Beomgyu’s heart was in his throat.
“I wanted to ask you on a date years ago,” Taehyun said softly. “I just never had the courage. I hoped that one day I could do it, and maybe then I could make you fall in love with me. Then, maybe a long time from now, we could do this for real. You would marry me because you loved me, too, not because you had no other choice.” His voice quivered, and Beomgyu felt like he was frozen on the spot. “But you needed something else, and I thought– I thought if I could make your life easier in any way, if I could help you, then I would give up on what I wanted.”
“Taehyun,” Beomgyu whispered. “I thought that you were sacrificing your chance at love to be with me. Why didn’t you say anything?”
“It wasn’t about me,” Taehyun said. “This was never supposed to be about me. I was already more selfish than I should’ve been. Even if I wanted more, I was content to have you sleeping in the other room just because it meant that you were there and I got to see you every day. I know what you need, and I know what I promised you on the phone that day. I would never hold you to something you didn’t agree to.”
“But that must’ve been so hard for you.” Beomgyu suddenly felt ill. All of the signs– how had he not realized? Every single moment, Taehyun was thinking of him. “Taehyun, I don’t– I can’t stand that you give up things that you want for me. I want you to be happy, too.”
“Isn’t that what love is?” Taehyun’s expression was beseeching now, begging Beomgyu for the answer. “Isn’t love putting the other person before yourself?”
“I don’t know,” Beomgyu admitted. His head was spinning. “I don’t know, but– you don’t have to give up things like that for me. It was real, that wedding was real to me. It might not have started out that way, or– or maybe it did, I’m not sure. But I married you because I love you, and not for any other reason.”
He held Taehyun’s gaze as steadily as he could. “You did make me fall in love with you. Maybe it was the day I was on the phone with Yeonjun hyung and I thought my life was over, or maybe it was even before that.” Beomgyu swallowed. “I don’t know when it started, but I want you to be my husband. Not just in the eyes of the health insurance overlords.”
Taehyun was so fucking perfect, standing there in his suit and squirrel-patterned socks, staring up at Beomgyu with his shining eyes. “You meant it? In your vows?”
Beomgyu nodded. “All of it.”
“Hyung,” Taehyun said bravely. “Kiss me like you wanted to then.”
Beomgyu surged forwards to catch him, drawing him in and crushing their mouths together. It was hot, bruising, and Beomgyu could still taste wedding cake on Taehyun’s tongue. Taehyun was kissing him back just as hard, tiny noises of satisfaction escaping him as their lips met over and over again. One of his hands was on the back of Beomgyu’s neck, the other at their sides with their fingers looped together. Beomgyu felt drunk on it, despite the fact that he’d had barely even a glass of champagne that night.
Taehyun’s chest was heaving when they finally broke for air. His white shirt was rumpled. “Damn,” he breathed. “Really glad you didn’t kiss me like that in front of my parents.”
Beomgyu threw his head back and laughed until his stomach hurt. Taehyun was giggling, too, the two of them practically delirious on pent-up stress and love. “Taehyun,” Beomgyu gasped, clutching at his ribs. “I love you. You make me really happy.”
Taehyun’s answering smile was blinding. “You make me happy too, hyung.”
The five of them were supposed to meet at Yeonjun, Soobin, and Kai’s apartment for movie night the following week. Yeonjun was already back from work when Soobin and Beomgyu arrived, and he stood up to greet them. Kai zoomed out from his bedroom, too, throwing his arms around Beomgyu’s neck in an overly enthusiastic hug.
Beomgyu’s phone dinged in his pocket, and he dug it out to see a text from Taehyun. There was a slight noise from the corner where Yeonjun and Soobin were standing, and Kai shrieked. Beomgyu looked up. Soobin had his hand over his cheek, and Yeonjun’s face was red.
“What!?” Kai yelped. “How did you not see that?”
“See what?” Beomgyu replied distractedly, returning his focus to his phone. Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he witnessed Soobin cuffing Kai over the head. “Oh, my husband says he’s going to be late. Traffic’s really bad.”
“My husband this, my husband that,” Yeonjun groaned. “You know, for someone who was practically allergic to the word fiancé, you sure say that a lot.”
“Yeah, well, he’s actually my husband for real,” Beomgyu retorted. “Not just my fiancé as a fuck-you to Big Pharma. Besides, you’re just bitter because Soobin hyung hasn’t proposed to you yet.”
There was a shocked silence. “Oh my Gooood,” Kai wailed. “You knew, and you still leave me to suffer in this apartment!? I can’t handle being a permanent fifth-wheel in this friend group any–“
“It’s not like they’re subtle,” Beomgyu pointed out. “If I stared at Taehyun’s ass half as much as Yeonjun hyung stares at Soobin’s, he might have to get a restraining order. Hyung, I have no idea how you put up with it.”
Soobin’s ears turned pink. “Yeah, well you’re not subtle with the staring either.”
“Well, my husband is–“
“Enough with that word!” Yeonjun cried. “It’s like you’ve forgotten that he has a real name!”
“Ah-ah, you better be nice to me, hyung,” Beomgyu tutted, pointing his finger. “Remember: I have content for the Yeonbin wedding slideshow that would send you to your grave.”