Chapter Text
...........................
Papyrus: .....Everyone was still silent. Even now, no one can say anything, I certainly can't. What even is the proper reaction to such a situation...?
Asakusa: ....So, uh, what now?
Pucci: I can't say I'm quite sure. Something like this...I don't think anything like this has ever happened before.
Finnelan: I would hope not...
Kanamori: Before anything, I'm going to go see what time it is. If anyone remembers, there's clocks in the rooms we woke up in.
Papyrus: Kanamori leaves, Asakusa going with her
Luz: So, I guess we just wait for Kanamori to come back?
Applejack: Seems like it.
Sanemi: ..................................Wait?
Genya: Huh?
Amity: What was that, Mr. Shinazugawa?
Sanemi: ......You people.....Want me to WAIT!?
Jotaro: Hey, calm down. You're saying that like any of us want to either.
Sanemi: Don't fucking tell me to calm down! I'm a Hashira, the only reason I wasn't able to kill that bastard was that he played dirty and took hostages!
Sanemi: But now that I got my sword, I can get everyone out of here!
Papyrus: Sanemi pulled out his sword and rushed out of the Auditorium.
Papyrus: Where's he going?
Applejack: Aah don't know, but somethin' tells me we should follow him before he gets himself in trouble again.
Genya: I...think so to.
Papyrus: We quickly followed after Sanemi, who had ran to the outside area surrounded by the large fence. He was in a fighting stance like before.
Applejack: What in Celestia's name are ya doin' now?
Sanemi: I'M GETTING US OUT OF HERE! DON'T GET IN MY WAY!
Sanemi: Wind Breathing, Third Form: Clean Storm Wind Tree!
Papyrus: With blinding speed, Sanemi unleashed a whirlwind of slashes at the fence, none of them doing anything.
Sanemi: W-what!?
Genya: Big bro, I don't think it's going to work...
Sanemi: Shut your mouth! Of course, a weakling like you would think that!
Papyrus: Sanemi jumps into the air, but not as high as before. Seeing that he can't reach, he tries another attack.
Sanemi: Wind breathing, Seventh Form: Gale, Tengu Gusts!
Papyrus: With a single powerful swing, Sanemi's blade generates a circular torrent of wind. While impressive, it also did nothing.
Papyrus: Upon hitting the ground, Sanemi tried to jump again and again, never reaching above or even getting close
Sanemi: Nnnnnn....!
Papyrus: Sanemi, I don't think this will work.
Sanemi: NO! You saw me back there! I can jump way higher than this! WHY THE FUCK AM I NOT GOING ANY HIGHER!?
Papyrus: He begins hacking and slashing at the fence with reckless abandon. While the fence shakes and trembles, it doesn't go down.
Sanemi: WIND BREATHING, SIXTH FORM: BLACK WIND MOUNTAIN MIST!
Papyrus: With a tight grip on his sword, Sanemi performs a powerful uppercut swing!
Papyrus: And.....
*SNAP*
Papyrus: We all freeze at the sound, Sanemi included.
Papyrus: Then, we look at the other side of the fence...
Papyrus: On the other side of the fence, the broken-off piece of Sanemi's sword lay in the grass, completely out of reach.
Genya: Your sword...
Papyrus: Sanemi looks at his tipless sword with wide eyes.
Sanemi: ...........................................
Sanemi: ...FUCK!
Papyrus: He throws his sword on the ground, before glaring at the fence with all of his wrath.
Sanemi: FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
Papyrus: A rams at the fence and onslaughts it with a barrage of punches, the fence sparking with each hit.
Sanemi: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!
Genya: H-holy shit!
Papyrus: My word!
Applejack: Shinazugawa, cut that out!
Papyrus: Another shock sends him back. As he rushes at the fence again, he staggers and trips, falling on his face.
Applejack: Shinazugawa, please just-
Sanemi: SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!
Papyrus: He jumps up once again and clings to the fence!
*ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ*
Sanemi: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Genya: 'Nemi no!
Applejack: Have you lost 'yer mind!? Ya already tried this, it ain't gonna work!
Papyrus: I don't think getting knocked out for a third time in one day is go for your health!
Sanemi: I've.....Been through.....Worst...!
Sanemi: I'm a Hashira......I'm a Hashira........I'm a......Hashira....!
Sanemi: I'm............A..................A..........!
Sanemi: ................A...!
Sanemi: GAH!
Papyrus: Sanemi fell to the ground, seizing on the ground for a second.
Genya: 'Nemi, are you-
Sanemi: Back off!
Papyrus: Sanemi got up and went to climb the fence once again.
Papyrus: Hey, stop! What are you-
Sanemi: I SAID BACK OFF!
Papyrus: I received a harsh push from Sanemi, before he began climbing once again.
*ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ*
Sanemi: Gehn....!
Applejack: Shinazugawa stop it, this ain't helpin'!
Sanemi: It....Will...! I just...need...to-
Applejack: What ya need ta do is get down from there!
Sanemi: No! I'm almost-
Applejack: Just get down from there!
Sanemi: Shut your...M-mouth...! I-
Applejack: Don't argue with me, just get down!
Sanemi: Shut the fuck up I-
Applejack: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET 'YER ASS DOWN!
Sanemi: ...!
Papyrus: Sanemi lets go of the fence.
Sanemi: ...............
Genya: .............
Papyrus: .............
Applejack: ............*sigh*.
Applejack: Listen Shinazugawa, aah get why 'yer actin' like this. Aah can tell 'yer strong, so somethin' like not bein' able ta fight that Mastodon feller must be hard on ya.
Sanemi: .............
Applejack: But this ain't helpin'. All we can do right now is...Sleep. Now that everythin's calmed down a bit, I'm realizin' how late it is.
Papyrus: I'm sure Kanamori and Midori have realized the same thing.
Just as this was mentioned, the piano piece from before Mastodon's first appearance played once again.
*BRING BRING BRING BRING...TWING*
Mastodon: Hello again, my tragic actors. Didn't think you would hear from me again so soon, did you? Well, you're going to have to get used to it, as I'll be making announcements such as this one quite often during your stay at my humble abode.
Mastodon: Speaking of announcements, I make this one to tell you all that it is now officially night. The Cafe, MedBay, and Auditorium will be locked in a moment, so I suggest you vacate those areas if you occupy them. Finally, I bid you all goodnight and kindly ask you to sleep in your designated room.
Papyrus: .......It seems we have no choice but to go to bed.
Genya: I could use it after this shit show of a day.
Sanemi: ............Yeah...
Applejack: Than aah say we hit the hay.
The four went to the Dorms, where everyone else had gathered.
Spamton: HEYA [[amigos]].
Peter: You guys heard that announcement too?
Papyrus: Indeed we did, Peter.
Luz: I guess we're sleeping in the rooms we woke up in.
Pucci: That's likely what Mastodon means by "designated rooms".
Finnelan: In that case, let's get to bed.
Dismas: Ye/\h, I'm be/\t.///
Papyrus now took a look at the exact placement of the rooms. Starting from left to right, the order was:
- Jotaro Kujo
- Peter Griffin
- Sanemi Shinazugawa
- Luz Noceda
- SpongeBob SquarePants
- Amity Blight
- Papyrus
- Genya Shinazugawa
- Eugene Krabs
- Sayaka Kanamori
- Anne Finnelan
- Applejack
- Murrit Turkin
- Enrico Pucci
- Meg Griffin
- Constanze Amalie von Braunschbank Albrechtsberger
- Midori Asakusa
- Dismas Mersiv
- Apple Bloom
- Spamton G. Spamton
Peter: Aw sweet, looks like we're neighbors Jotaro! I'll have you know I'm a pretty strong guy, so if there's ever any trouble, you and me could make a pretty good duo.
Jotaro: If you say so, Peter.
Krabs: Ngn...I could be makin' so much money right now...
Kanamori: Same.
Finnelan: Sleep well, Ms. Applejack.
Applejack: Ya too Anne. Celestia knows I'm gonna be havin' some trouble sleepin' tonight. Homesickness and all, ya know.
Luz: Night sweet potato~.
Amity: N-night batata.
SpongeBob: Awwww, young love, there's nothing like. Goodnight you two.
Luz: Same to you, SpongeBob.
Murrit: >([nig#ty nig#t, Daddy]
Pucci: A simple "Goodnight Father" would have done...
Spamton: [[*Lullaby Music*]]
Apple Bloom: Um...Goodnight ta ya too Spamton? Ya too, Dismas.
Dismas: S/\me here, /\pple Bloom.///
Papyrus: Goodnight Genya.
Genya: Yeah...
Papyrus: He isn't very talkative right now. I understand, though.
Papyrus: I decided to simply get changed into my pajamas before getting in the white bed I woke up in.
Papyrus: Usually I'm the type to look forward to the next day, but now....I feel almost nothing but dread and nervousness.
Papyrus: Never have I, The Great Papyrus, felt anything like this before.
Papyrus: All I can do right now is believe that things will be okay...
With that, Papyrus went to sleep.
*BRING BRING BRING BRING...TWING*
Papyrus: Nyeh....What?
Mastodon: Good morning one and all! It is now officially daytime, which means that the areas that were locked off last night are now reopened. Also, check your dressers, I've given you all some gifts.
Papyrus: Gifts?
Papyrus: On my dresser was a phone-like device in a dark crimson case and a key, both engraved with my name.
Papyrus: The key must be for my room, but what's this device? I'll have to talk to everyone about this.
Papyrus: After a shower and getting changed, of course.
Once Papyrus did that, he left his room, testing the key and locking the room.
Papyrus: I see, so my guess was right.
Turning around, he could see a few others coming out of their rooms as well.
Papyrus: Good morning, everyone!
Amity: Good morning, Papyrus. I see you got Mastodon's gifts as well.
Papyrus: Yes, and I'm sure you're just as confused as I am.
Stanbot: Ms. Constanze certainly is.
SpongeBob: That's what Mr. Krabs figured. He wants everyone to meet in the Cafe for breakfast before we start discussing these phone things.
Papyrus: Ah, I see.
Papyrus: I could use some breakfast.
Papyrus goes to the Cafe, seeing a good number of individuals already waiting.
Applejack: Howdy Papyrus. 'Yer 'ere for breakfast too, hm?
Papyrus: Indeed Applejack. Now, how did everyone sleep?
Spamton: [[amazballs]]! THIS HAS TO BE THE FIRST TIME IN [[so long]] THAT I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN A [[!#$?%]] GARBAGE CAN!
Asakusa: A garbage can!?
Spamton: YES.
Apple Bloom: That's sad.
Spamton: Y E S .
Papyrus: Are you okay Spamton?
Spamton: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Meg: Morning guys.
Spamton: HEY [[rapid subject change]]!
Papyrus: Ah, good morning, Meg.
Papyrus: Everyone else began entering the Cafe, before eventually, we were all together again.
Sanemi: ........................
Papyrus: I wonder how he's doing today after yesterday?
Apple Bloom: So, do we talk about these fancy doohickies now?
SpongeBob: Not yet, we gotta get some brain food first.
Finnelan: I suppose I could use some breakfast.
SpongeBob: Alright, so you all just stay here and I'll whip something up!
Jotaro: Wait.
SpongeBob: Hm? Do you want something specific, Jotaro?
Jotaro: No, it's not that. While I hate to bring down the mood first thing in the morning, we're still in a Killing Game. I don't actually think you'd do something like this SpongeBob, but who to say you couldn't just poison us?
SpongeBob: What!?
Kanamori: I have to agree with Mr. Kujo. I think it would help if at least two people watched Mr. SquarePants.
Krabs: Now hold on just a moment! What are ye accusin' me employe of here!?
Jotaro: Nothing. I already said I don't think he'd actually do something like that.
Krabs: And yet ye wanna have him watched like he's some type of serial poisoner!
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, it's okay. If this makes people feel safe, then I don't mind.
Krabs: ........Fine. I'll go along with this. In fact, I'll be one of the ones watchin'. Mr. Kujo can help too, seein' as he's the one who started this in the first place.
Jotaro: I don't mind.
SpongeBob: Alright, you all be patient now!
Papyrus: SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, and Jotaro went into the kitchen, leaving us at the table.
Murrit: >([so, #ow yu bin, 'Nemi?]
Sanemi: Don't fucking call me that!
Papyrus: Sanemi closed his eyes, taking a breath.
Murrit: >([dam bro, i was just tryin ta make some sweet sweet convo]
Sanemi: I know. If you need to know how I've been, I'm still pissed. If I see that bastard's face again, I'm going to fucking lose it!
Luz: Doesn't Mastodon wear a mask? So, you can't really see his face.
Amity: I'm pretty sure it's a figure of speech, Luz.
Meg: Don't even remind me of that mask, that thing is so creepy!
Asakusa: Glad I wasn't the only one who thought that...
Papyrus: I really don't think you should try to fight Mastodon again. Not now at least. We should wait and try and think of something later.
Sanemi: Yeah, fine, let's just wait until someone dies. I'm completely fine with that.
Applejack: Hey, don't ya go with this attitude again.
Sanemi: It's not a damn attitude, I'm just pissed off that I can't do shit. I'm a Hashira, damnit!
Genya: None of us like this either, big bro.
Sanemi: .....................
Peter: So, anyone seen any good movies lately?
Papyrus: After the little spat with Sanemi, we engaged in simple conversation, until...
SpongeBob: Foods ready everyone!
Papyrus: SpongeBob, Jotaro, and Krabs walk out of the kitchen, holding trays of food. After coming to and fro from the kitchen a few times, all of the food sat in front of us.
Spamton: HOLY [[Manchu–Han]], THIS IS A [[banquet tv]] [[oasis]]! I CAN FEEL MY STOMACH [[stalk it's pray...]].
Applejack: Aah usually only see this much food durin' the holidays.
Asakusa: I don't even recognize some of these, but they smell and look so good I wanna eat them all.
Meg: Good luck with that. I don't even think dad would be able to eat all this.
Peter: Hehehe, you severely underestimate me, Meg.
Genya: Get greedy and try to pig out and see what happens. The rest of us need to eat too, fat ass.
Finnelan: Hold on, Ms. Asakusa is right. I don't quite recognize some of these dishes either.
Stanbot: Neither do I, and I have quite the database of food.
Dismas: No wonder, some of this food is Repitoni/\n.///
SpongeBob: There's even some undersea cuisine.
Amity: And some Boiling Isles dishes.
Constanze: Repitonian? Would that be the name of your planet?
Murrit: >([yea#, me and Bandana-Badass ova #ere come from Repiton. real s#it#ole of a planet, let me tell ya]
Dismas: Spe/\king of pl/\nets, does /\nyone know wh/\t pl/\net we're /\ctu/\lly on?///
Pucci: Earth, if I had to hazard a guess.
Applejack: While aah agree, we can't really be sure about that, especially with all this...What was it that ya said, Amity; "interdimensional"?
Amity: Yes, Ms. Applejack. With the factor of interdimensional travel, we could be anywhere.
Peter: So, there could be sentient beer bottles outside?
Amity: While the chances of that are low, they're not zero either.
Sanemi: Wait, is this shit even safe to eat? It's literally from another planet.
Krabs: We only put out grub that was safe for everyone to eat.
Jotaro: Yeah, everything in the kitchen is labeled to show what's okay for some to eat.
Kanamori: Do you know what would happen if we ate something that wasn't safe to eat?
Jotaro: It's nothing too bad. On the warning labels, it said you might just get a bit sick. But even then, that's mostly with the Troll food.
Papyrus: All this talk of food is making me hungry, so let us dig in before the food goes cold!
Genya: About damn time.
Spamton: [[Finally! Some action!]]
Papyrus: We began digging in.
Papyrus: My word, SpongeBob's cooking skills truly are ultimate! They even rival my skill in the culinary arts.
Meg: So, Dismas, Murrit, what do you think of earth food?
Dismas: It's pretty good. But you should know th/\t we h/\\/e /\ lot of this food on Repiton. It's not ex/\ctly the s/\me, but it's still simil/\r.///
Meg: What? How's that possible?
Pucci: Don't forget Ms. Griffin, this Repiton is not just another planet, but another planet in another dimension. Perhaps it is another version of Earth.
Meg: Really?
Dismas: I didn't think of it like th/\t.///
Peter: Holy crap, SpongeBob, this food is freaking delicious!
Papyrus: Indeed!
SpongeBob: Thanks guys...
Krabs: It's like I said, me boy is the best cook The Krusty Krab has ever had!
Krabs: Also, don't forget ye have to pay me back once this is all over. Oh, except for Spamton and his friends.
Spamton: [[finger bang]] EUGENE!
Applejack: 'Yer still on about that?
Peter: Ya know what, let me have some of that Repitonian and Boiling Isles food.
Murrit: >([go for it, Beter!]
Luz: If you want my advice, you should try these Jelly Eyes. They taste like blueberry gelatin that's a little salty.
Papyrus: Luz took one of the Jelly Eyes on her plate and put it in her mouth.
Luz: It may not sound good, but it weirdly works.
Finnelan: Please don't talk with food in your mouth.
Asakusa: I don't really like food like gelatin. It just doesn't feel good in my mouth, y'know?
Constanze: I get that. I'm not a fan of any really mushy. If I try to eat anything like that, I'll literally gag.
Asakusa: Really? Me too!
Kanamori: I can confirm this. One time Tsubame dared her to eat a cup of Jell-O in exchange for ¥50,000.
Asakusa: Which I did! I won that ¥50,000 fair and square!
Kanamori: Correction, you won it after you spit the Jell-O out and ate it off the ground.
Apple Bloom: Ew, did ya really do that?
Asakusa: Don't "ew" me! I did it in under 5 seconds! Don't you have the 5-second rule where you come from?
Apple Bloom: We do, but it's still an "ew" from me.
Asakusa: Awwww...
Asakusa: W-well, at least I have money! Unlike Kanamori who spends her's on milk
Kanamori: I'm sorry, who's the one who keeps track of finances in our club?
Asakusa: Um....you, I guess....
Kanamori: Exactly.
Kanamori cooly took a sip of her milk.
Papyrus: The rest of breakfast went by peacefully until its end.
Constanze: 10/10.
Luz: Yeah, this is the first time in a while that I've had human food.
Sanemi: ....It was good.
Papyrus: Thank you again, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: It really wasn't a problem everyone. I was more than happy to do so, and even then, this was Mr. Krabs' idea.
Krabs: Me boy SpongeBob here is right. I wanted everyone to get their brain food.
Genya: And we got it. So, can we talk about these things? What the fuck are they?
Applejack: Yeah, aah don't know what this thing is either...
Krabs: Then let's get to talkin'!
Murrit: >([i'll go first and give t#e uninitiated bumkins #ere the lowdown]
Genya: Who the hell are you calling a bumkin!?
Sanemi: Who the fuck are you calling a bumkin!?
Applejack: Who the hay are ya callin' a bumkin!?
Murrit: >([c t#is t#ing in t#e crimson case? t#is is a p#one!]
Luz: Actually, it's more like a digital notepad.
Apple Bloom: A notepad? Now aah know aah don't know anythin' a lot about all the fancy things around 'ere, but this don't look like no notepad aah've seen before.
Dismas: Bec/\use it's digit/\l. E\/en then, we don't re/\lly know wh/\t ex/\ctly it does.///
Spamton: THEN LET'S [[take it to the limit]] AND [[arouse]] THIS THING ON.
Papyrus: By pressing a small button on the side, we turned the devices on, some of us less technologically inclined taking a bit to do it.
Papyrus: Upon turning on, the same symbol that was on the floor of the Dorms was the device's background image. There were 5 apps. A map app, a rules app, a camera app, a chat app, and an app called Sleuth.
Genya: What's with all these symbols?
Papyrus: Those are apps. You click on them to use them.
Applejack: Click on 'em?
Stanbot: Just tap them. Here, let's all see what's on the Map app.
Peter: Let's hope it don't got nothin' to do with pedophilia...
Papyrus: Ignoring Peter's comment, we opened the app.
Amity: The Map app is a Map. Rather self-explanatory.
Kanamori: Not like we really need it. With how much we all explored this place, we pretty much know the layout rather well.
Finnelan: Then let's move on to the Rules. I'm rather curious about what it refers to.
Papyrus: We closed the app and moved on to the Rules app.
Papyrus: Before us was a list of rules.
RULES OF THE KILLING GAME
- All players will live in the humble abode of Director Mastodon for the rest of their lives.
- Should a murder occur, all surviving players will engage in The Showstopper, a large-scale discussion in which players will discuss the murder before voting for one of their fellow players.
- If the murderer (or "Blackened") is correctly voted for, they will receive punishment and the innocent players will continue their lives in Director Mastodon's humble abode.
- If The Blackened isn't caught, every player besides the Blackened will receive punishment and The Blackened will be free to leave.
- Daytime last from 7:00 AM-10:00 PM. Nighttime last from 10:00 PM-7:00 AM. Curtain areas are locked off at night. Current Locked off Areas: Cafe/MedBay/Auditorium.
- You may not sleep outside of the dorm rooms. This rule does not apply if a player is forcibly made unconscious.
- When Nighttime begins, a 10-second grace period will be held before areas locked off at night are locked.
- You may not harm Director Mastodon.
- Director Mastodon may not participate in a murder.
- Significant destruction of property is not allowed unless it is involved in a murder.
- A player becomes The Blackened if they are the one to directly cause the end of another player's life
- Even if a killing is accidental, in self-defense, or done in order to save someone, The Blackened will still receive punishment.
- A potential Blackened may only kill up to 2 other players.
- In the event of two killers killing separate victims, only the one who committed the second murder will be considered The Blackened.
- The Body Discovery Announcement will only go off when three or more innocent players see a body.
- If a player violates any of the listed rules, they will receive punishment.
Asakusa: Whoa, this is a lot of rules.
Pucci: Despite how twisted this whole situation is, it is still technically a "game", and all games of rules you must follow.
Meg: Yeah, and if that 16th rule is to be believed, then I think we should go over these.
Applejack: Agreed. Now, the first 4 rules and the 15th one are just what Mastodon told us when we first met him.
Stanbot: The rest are just more details about The Killing Game.
Finnelan: I must say, rules 13 and 14 are rather concerning.
Luz: You mean the stuff about two murders?
Jotaro: if you think about the rules of The Showstopper, if there's two killers, then after it, we'd have a killer among our group.
SpongeBob: W-What...!?
Krabs: Relax boyo, that's only if that happens, which it won't.
Kanamori: If it helps, with how this game works, there's a very low chance of any murders having accomplices.
Sanemi: Obviously. They'd pretty much be sending themselves off to their own death.
SpongeBob: I guess that helps. But at the same time, I'd rather not talk about murder.
Papyrus: I can agree with that sentiment...
Dismas: If th/\t's the c/\se, then let's mo\/e on to the C/\mer/\ /\pp.///
Papyrus: Closing the Rules, we opened the Camera app. It was a simple camera app.
Genya: This is supposed to be a camera? How does it work?
Papyrus: You just point it at what you want to photograph and press the white button. Like this!
Papyrus: I take a picture of Genya and show it to him.
Genya: Holy shit!
Murrit: >([yu can also swipe t#e screen to make t#e camera face ya]
Apple Bloom: Waoh! He's right! Applejack, ya gotta try this.
Applejack: Golly, ain't this somthin'? Aah can only imagine how Twi would react ta this.
Meg: If that blows your mind, just wait until you find out about the record feature.
Dismas: They c/\n t/\ke /\ look /\t th/\t l/\ter, right now we should mo\/e on to the Ch/\t /\pp.///
Papyrus: Yes, lets.
Papyrus: Closing the Camera, we opened the Chat app. It seems to be a messaging app.
Sanemi: What the fu-
Papyrus: Sanemi looks towards Apple Bloom before continuing.
Sanemi: F-freak is this?
Apple Bloom: Why do ya keep censorin' 'yerself?
Sanemi: Because you're a kid. You shouldn't hear language like that.
Kanamori: You do realize that she's heard cursing multiple times at this table alone, right? Some of them were even said by you.
Stanbot: 9 times to be specific.
Sanemi: ........Shit.
Sanemi: Fuck, I mean-
Sanemi: Wait no, fuck I-
Sanemi: I'm trying my best here, damnit!
Apple Bloom: Ya don't gotta. Mah friend Scootaloo swears from time ta time.
Applejack: She what!?
Apple Bloom: Hold on, aah'm pretty sure she might'a picked it up from Rainbow!
Peter: Rainbow? What's Saint Patrick's Day gotta do with this?
Apple Bloom: Rainbow Dash, a friend uh mah sis. Sometimes when me and mah friends talk ta her, she'll swear and asks us ta not...tell...nobody...
Applejack: ...That so?
Apple Bloom: ......................Anyway, ya don't gotta censor 'yerself!
Sanemi: Fine.
Applejack: Hold on, aah don't want mah little sis to be hearin' that type uh language either!
Sanemi: She's already heard it, who gives a shit?
Applejack: *groan*.
Finnelan: Can we get back on topic?
Genya: Yeah, I still have no fucking clue how this thing works.
*BABING*
Papyrus: Hm?
Papyrus: All of our devices let out a sound. Looking at mine, the chat had a message from Murrit.
---Chat---
Murrit: >([yooooo it's me mf's] - 7:21 AM Today
------
Murrit: >([y'all get my message?]
Papyrus: Oh! I just got the best idea.
Papyrus: I quickly type my massage into the chat.
---Chat---
Murrit: >([yooooo it's me mf's] - 7:21 AM Today
Papyrus: I got your message! : ) - 7:21 AM Today
------
Papyrus: My comical genius knows no bounds.
---Chat---
Murrit: >([yooooo it's me mf's] - 7:21 AM Today
Papyrus: I got your message! : ) - 7:21 AM Today
Constanze: So, this app is a basic messaging service. - 7:21 AM Today
Asakusa: I think it's pretty cool! - 7:21 AM Today
Luz: Yeah, group chats are always cool! - 7:21 AM Today
Apple Bloom: Hi. - 7:21 AM Today
Apple Bloom: whendns - 7:21 AM Today
Amity: Hello Apple Bloom. If you don't mind me asking, what's up with your second message? - 7:22 AM Today
Apple Bloom: I was testing this thing. - 7:22 AM Today
Apple Bloom: I think I'm getting the hang of it! 0u0 - 7:22 AM Today
Meg: @Apple Bloom, what is that emoticon? - 7:22 AM Today
Apple Bloom: Emoticon? You mean this? 0u0 - 7:22 AM Today
Apple Bloom: I saw Papyrus do it, so I thought I'd give it a try. - 7:22 AM Today
Apple Bloom: Is it bad? - 7:22 AM Today
Applejack: I think it's cute, sugar cube. 0u0 - 7:22 AM Today
Apple Bloom: Thanks! 0u0 - 7:22 AM Today
SpongeBob: I like it too! - 7:23 AM Today
Sanemi: You seem like the type to like everything. - 7:23 AM Today
Genya: You seem like the type to like everything. - 7:23 AM Today
Papyrus: You know @Sanemi, even though you claim that Genya isn't your brother, your messages came at the same time and said the same thing. - 7:23 AM Today
Papyrus: It seems to me that you two are in sync. - 7:23 AM Today
Sanemi: Fuck you. - 7:23 AM Today
Jotaro: can we stop messaging and start talking again the silence is a bit awkward - 7:23 AM Today
------
Papyrus: Oh, right! I suppose we got a bit caught up in that...
Luz: Because group chats are fun!
Apple Bloom: Aah was enjoyin' mahself a bit.
Dismas: It's defi/\ntly /\ useful thing to h/\\/e /\ccess to.///
Finnelan: That's debatable, but I'll hold my tongue so that we can continue.
Constanze gives a thumbs-up before writing on her clipboard.
Constanze: We should move on to the Sleuth app.
Kanamori: Yes, I'm the most curious about what it does.
Papyrus: We closed out of the Chat, and clicked on the Sleuth app.
Papyrus: But....It didn't open.
Papyrus: What the...?
Papyrus: I clicked on the app again and again, but it didn't open.
Genya: Hey, is it just me, or is this shit not opening?
Peter: It ain't openin' for me either, pal.
Papyrus: Same with me.
Finnelan: None of them are working? *groan* Of course! Of course, all of these things are hunks of junk!
Spamton: SOUNDS LIKE WE NEED MASTODON TO [[total recall]] THESE [[soft gifts]].
Pucci: Hold on, perhaps the app isn't meant to be used yet?
Papyrus: Isn't meant to be used? Could that be it?
???: It is!
Papyrus: Looking up, we all saw...
Mastodon: Good day my tragic actors!
Papyrus: Above us was Mastodon, who descended down from the ceiling from a chain.
SpongeBob: Flippin flotsam!
Asakusa: GHAAA!
Peter: What the hell!?
Mastodon gracefully came down onto the table.
Mastodon: Like an angel coming down to a devoted follower in need, I arrive to you all to bring direction as your director!
Peter: Hey, watch where your steppin'! Don't go puttin' those mummified dogs in our food! I'm plannin' to have some of the leftovers!
Genya: Of course, you were...
Peter: Okay, Genya, why the fuck do you keep hounding me?
Genya: Wait, what-
Sanemi: BASTARD!
Jotaro: What the hell do you want?
Mastodon: Calm down, everyone. I'm simply here to sort things out.
Mastodon: Now then Dame Finnelan, I assure you none of the Handbooks are broken.
Kanamori: Handbooks? So that's what these things are called.
Pucci: So, what I said is correct then.
Mastodon: Indeed, Sir Pucci! As you've said, it simply isn't the time to use the app yet.
Krabs: If that's it, then when do we use it?
Mastodon: You'll all find that out when the time comes. For now, just keep it in the back of your mind.
Papyrus: That's certainly ominous...
Mastodon: Alright, I'll be making my leave now. Once again, I bid you all adieu.
Papyrus: Mastodon grabbed onto the chain he descended on, rocketing upwards. Looking up, he was already gone.
Sanemi: The hell, where'd he go...!?
Apple Bloom: How the hay did he do that?
Meg: God, he's so creepy...
Papyrus: No arguments here. On the bright side, we know why the app isn't working!
Amity: Indeed. In that case, it seems this discussion is over, seeing as it was about the Handbooks.
Amity: Though that's assuming that Mr. Krabs doesn't want to discuss the room keys.
Krabs: I don't, seein' as they're rather self-expletory.
Kanamori: Then if you're done, I'd like to throw my hat into the ring.
Krabs: Oh? Go right ahead, lass.
Kanamori: Thank you. Tell me, does anyone remember my question to Mastodon?
Dismas: It w/\s /\bout the t/\lents. Specific/\lly, why we were gi\/en them.///
Kanamori: Correct, and in regard to that, I think I figured it out.
Asakusa: Really? What is it, Kanamori?
Kanamori: Quite simply, they're there to help with deduction.
Spamton: WHAT DO YOU [[mean girl]]?
Kanamori: Let me give an example. Let's say someone died and the murder method has something to do with shooting something. Who would you think the murderer is?
Jotaro: I'd have to say Genya.
Genya: The fuck!?
Applejack: So, these talents are just another part uh this sick game...
Kanamori: Perhaps. This is only a theory after all.
Papyrus: It's definitely something to think about...
Krabs: Does anyone have anythin' else to add?
No one answered.
Krabs: Alright, then I suppose we can go about our day!
Dismas: Not like there's much to do here...///
Luz: Sometimes you just gotta get creative!
Krabs: SpongeBob, help this old seadog with the dishes.
SpongeBob: Aye aye, caption!
Jotaro: I'll help too. It wouldn't be fair to make you two do all the cleanup when I cooked as well.
Papyrus: Everyone began to go to their own devices. Just as I was about to leave and find something to do, the Shinazugawa brothers approached me.
Genya: Hey, Papyru-
Sanemi: Hey, you. I nee-
Genya: ...!
Sanemi: ...!
Papyrus: The estranged brothers looked at each other, neither saying anything, allowing awkward silence to fall over us.
Papyrus: Can I help you two?
Sanemi: You can help cowboy over here, come find me when you're done...
Papyrus: Cowboy??? Is that name because he's the Ultimate Marksman?
Papyrus: Sanemi turned around to leave before I stopped him.
Papyrus: Hold on Sanemi, perhaps I can help you both.
Sanemi: What I want you to do might take a while, so just do what I said.
Papyrus: And what is it you want me to do?
Sanemi: ......I need you to tell me what the shit in my room is.
Genya: Wait, really? I was gonna ask him the same thing. Well, I was gonna ask him about the shit in the bathroom specifically, but same difference.
Sanemi: Really? Well, ain't that convenient? You've been trying to get close to me even before we were brought here, so who's to say you're not just lying, you talentless-
Papyrus: H-hold on, Genya is telling the truth. I hadn't had the chance to tell him about all that. I was going to, but then you kinda threw me...
Sanemi: Oh...
Sanemi: ......Fine. But no calling me 'Nemi or I'll beat your ass.
Genya: ...!
Genya: Yeah, got it...
Papyrus: Hm...I still don't know what happened between these brothers, but back then...
Scars: ...I'm so so sorry Genya.
Genya: ...!!!
Papyrus: ...I'm certain that despite his rough exterior, Sanemi still cares.
Papyrus: Perhaps this is a chance to draw more of that hidden side out of him!
Papyrus: Alrighty then, I'll take both of you to my room and do a little tour!
Genya: .......
Sanemi: ..........
Papyrus: Glad to see everyone excited!
Papyrus: I guided the brothers to my room.
Papyrus: Welcome! Please, come right in.
Papyrus: The brothers entered my room before they started to take their strange-toed shoes off.
Papyrus: Oh, you don't need to take your shoes off.
Genya: .....Really?
Papyrus: Of course!
Genya: Oh. Uh, okay?
Sanemi: Must be a monster thing.
Papyrus: Monster thing? Perhaps this is some sort of culture shock?
Papyrus: So, what do you want to know about first?
Sanemi: Hmm...The thing on the ceiling.
Genya: You mean the fan?
Sanemi: I was asking...Wait, that's a fan? How does it even work?
Genya: Well, you just pull that dangling cord.
Papyrus: Like so!
Papyrus: With a pull of the cord, the fan began spinning.
Sanemi: Alright, that makes sense. Shit, this really is from the future. Stuff like this must be in the houses of rich fucks, right?
Papyrus: No, why even my own home has four!
Sanemi: Four!? Since when the fuck were you rich!?
Papyrus: I'm not, it's a rather common thing to have in your home.
Papyrus: And this is just a regular fan, I wonder how he'd react to an AC?
Genya: If it's a common thing to have...Then people must be a lot richer in the future!
Sanemi: Hmmm...He is from pretty far in the future...
Sanemi: ...For a talentless dumbass, that wasn't a bad idea.
Genya: .................
Papyrus: Ignoring that last comment, I don't think being from the future makes you rich, not to mention that I'm from a different world that may have a different history...
Papyrus: T-there's also the lights!
Sanemi: Hm? What the hell are you talking about? I don't see any lights.
Genya: You just press that switch by the door.
Papyrus: Sanemi went to the switch by the door and clicked it on, his eyes widening in shock as the fan's light turned on.
Sanemi: Wh-WHAT!?
Genya: Crazy, right?
Sanemi: Fucking batshit insane is what it is! Are you gonna tell me this is commonplace too?
Papyrus: Sorta? Many fans have lights in them, but not all. We also have lamps. Electric ones, not gas.
Sanemi: Okay, I can believe that.
Genya: Should we move onto the bathroom now?
Sanemi: Sure. I already know that that thing on the dresser is a clock, so I guess that bathroom is all that's left.
Papyrus: I showed the brothers to the bathroom.
Papyrus: So, what do you want to know about first?
Genya: Hmmm...I guess the tub. I know it's a bathtub, but I'm not sure about how it works.
Sanemi: Yeah, me neither.
Papyrus: Well, to turn it on you just turn this valve.
Papyrus: With a turn, a stream of water began pouring out of the faucet.
Genya: Hey, why didn't you turn it all the way?
Papyrus: If I did that, it'd be too hot!
Sanemi: Wait, are you saying you can control the temperature!?
Papyrus: Sanemi put his arm in the stream and turned the faucet all the way, pulling it back once the water began to steam.
Genya: Holy shit...
Sanemi: It warmed up in seconds...What else can this fucking thing do?
Papyrus: Well, by flipping this small lever right here, you can close and open the drain, and by pulling this diverter...
Papyrus: Pulling the diverter, the showerhead roared to life.
Genya: Hm, I guess I can see that being useful.
Sanemi: Here's what I still don't get...
Papyrus: Oh? What is it Sanemi?
Sanemi: Why the fuck would you have this?
Papyrus: .........So, I can clean myself.
Genya: But you're a skeleton. You literally have nothing to clean.
Papyrus: Oh, so are my bones invisible? I wasn't aware.
Genya: .............
Genya: ...I'm not gonna question it.
Sanemi: Me neither.
Papyrus: I turn the shower off.
Papyrus: Now, all that's left is this machine here.
Genya: About time. I've been wondering what the fuck this thing is since the beginning.
Papyrus: This is a washing machine and dryer. It does your laundry.
Sanemi: What? Really?
Papyrus: Yes, allow me to explain...
Papyrus: I explained how the laundry machine worked.
Sanemi: So, you pour this...detergent shit into the machine and it washes the cloth, right?
Papyrus: Indeed!
Sanemi: So, where is it?
Papyrus: It's...
Papyrus: I looked around for a moment, before spotting it and another bottle next to the machine.
Papyrus: ...Right here! Oooo, and there's even some fabric softener.
Papyrus: After a bit more explaining, I was finally finished.
Papyrus: ...And that's everything you need to know!
Genya: I see...I understand now.
Papyrus: Great! Now then, do either of you want to hang out? I'm not really sure what to do with all the free time I have and there's not much to do here.
Genya: No, I was actually about to head to the Computer Lab and see if Constanze was there.
Sanemi: What do you want with the short stack?
Genya: I was gonna see if she'd tell me about those computer things. I've never even heard of anything like them before.
Papyrus: Hm, I suppose that makes sense.
Papyrus: Alright. I hope you have luck with that.
Genya: By the way, would you...Want to tag along with me, big bro? I figure you might be curious about the computers too.
Sanemi: ..........
Genya: ....If you don't wanna come, that's-
Sanemi: Don't fucking put words in my mouth. I'll go.
Genya: ...!
Papyrus: ...!
Sanemi: Get that look off your face, I'm just going because I'm curious, dumbass. Also, if little Ms. Long Name isn't there, I get to leave, got it?
Genya: Um, y-yeah! See ya, Papyrus!
Sanemi: Bye.
Papyrus: Farewell for now!
The brothers walk away.
Papyrus: Nyeh heh heh, the brother bonding is fully in motion! I bet they'll be able to work things out very soon.
Papyrus: But...Now I'm left with nothing to do. No matter, I'll just do the first thing on my mind!
Papyrus: And that would be...The Exercise Yard! Yes, I think I'll partake in some exercise.
Papyrus made his way to the Yard, finding Dismas and Applejack already there. Dismas was using one of the pull-up bars and Applejack was using one of the rowing machines.
Papyrus: Ah, hello you two!
Applejack: Howdy, Papyrus.
Dismas: Hey m/\n, you come to exercise too?///
Papyrus: Yes, I needed some way to pass the time.
Dismas: I get th/\t, it's the s/\me here with me honestly.///
Papyrus: I picked up two decently sized dumbbells and began jogging on one of the treadmills with them.
Dismas: Something to work your /\rms /\nd legs, hm?///
Papyrus: Indeed. Somewhat ironic seeing as you're doing your arms, while Applejack is doing her legs.
Applejack: Uh course. Without these legs, how else would aah buck the tree back on the farm?
Papyrus: Buck the trees?
Applejack: How else would aah get the apples down fast?
Papyrus: I...Hm, that's fair.
Dismas: By the w/\y, /\re some of the exercise equipment h/\rd to use, /\pplej/\ck? I me/\n, I don't think these were designed with ponies in mind.///
Applejack: They're alright, though aah s'pose this could use some cushions or somethin'.
Applejack: Movin' from that, what were ya doin' with Genya and Sanemi?
Papyrus: Nothing too special, I was telling them about some of the more futuristic things in our rooms.
Applejack: Oh, aah get that. Aah had ta ask around a bit about that too.
Dismas: Re/\lly? I'm curious, wh/\t surprised you the most out of /\ll the things in there?///
Applejack: Hmmm....Nothin' really. Though aah do wonder why aah was even given a washin' machine, seein' as aah don't wear clothes.
Papyrus: Don't you wash your sheets???
Applejack: By the way Papyrus, nothin' eventful happened, did it?
Papyrus: A tiny bit of on-brand Sanemi verbal abuse, but despite how that sounds, it went swimmingly!
Papyrus: In fact, Genya asked Sanemi if he wanted to talk to Constanze about the computers, and he said yes!
Applejack: Like, willingly?
Papyrus: Yes! While he was rather standoffish about it, it's better than nothing!
Applejack: Definitely better than all the fightin' from before.
Papyrus: Our conversations turned simpler and more casual after that, all three of us occasionally changing what we were doing. Eventual...
Dismas: Phew...///
Papyrus: Dismas stopped the exercise he was doing, stretching a bit.
Dismas: I'm definitely feeling the burn now.///
Applejack: Really? Aah ain't even broken that much uh'va sweat.
Dismas: Sorry th/\t I don't got the st/\min/\ of someone who kicks trees h/\rd enough to knock /\ll the fruit off them /\ll d/\y for /\ li\/ing...///
Papyrus: I'm still shocked that that's how she does it...
Papyrus: Also, now that he mentions it, I'm getting a bit tired too.
Papyrus: I have to agree with Dismas, I think I'll stop now.
Applejack: While aah may not be tired, aah wanna check ta see what Apple Blooms doin'.
Dismas: I think I'm gonn/\ t/\ke /\ n/\p or something.///
Papyrus: Dismas and Applejack left the Exercise Yard.
Papyrus: Hm....I still have a bit of free time left...
Papyrus: ...Perhaps I'll simply hang out with someone! Yes, of course!
Papyrus: Now, to simply find someone to hang out with!
FREE TIME
Papyrus walked into the Cafe when he saw SpongeBob by the kitchen door.
SpongeBob: Jeez, there really is nothing to do around here. Should I cook something? What would I even make?
Papyrus: Hello SpongeBob. You look rather bored; would you like to talk?
SpongeBob: Of course, Papyrus! I was already thinking of something to do, so this is perfect timing on your part.
Papyrus: Me and SpongeBob talked about some of our interests.
SpongeBob: So, you like puzzles, hm?
Papyrus: Yes! The twist, turns, japes, and mindboggling bring me endless amounts of joy!
Papyrus: Although I do know my way around a joke!
Papyrus: That reminds me...
Papyrus: SpongeBob, would you like to hear a riddle?
SpongeBob: Oh yes, please! I'm pretty good at those.
Papyrus: Alright, so the riddle goes like this: "A doctor and a bus driver are both in love with the same woman, an attractive girl named Sarah. The bus driver had to go on a long bus trip that would last a week. Before he left, he gave Sarah seven apples. Why?"
SpongeBob: Hmmmm, this definitely is a brain tickler...
SpongeBob: ...I think...That the answer is that the Bus Driver wanted her to remember him while he was away. Am I right?
Papyrus: Unfortunately, no.
SpongeBob: Aw fish paste, I was so sure too...
SpongeBob: So, what's the actual answer?
Papyrus: Simple, the bus driver...wanted to make sure the doctor stayed away for the week.
SpongeBob: Huh? How would that...Wait...
SpongeBob: Ooooooh, I get it, BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Papyrus: And to think people call Sans the funny one.
SpongeBob: Aw man, that was a good one Pap!
Papyrus: That's the beauty of puzzles in general. Whether they be visual or verbal, a puzzle can be so many things at once. This one for example was also a joke.
SpongeBob: That is pretty cool when you put it like that.
Papyrus: I'm glad you see it that way. But you know what else sounds rather cool? That karate you were talking about.
SpongeBob: Karate? Papyrus, Papyrus, it's not "karate" it's...
Papyrus: SpongeBob suddenly struck multiple poses.
SpongeBob: KA-RA-TE!
Papyrus: Ah, I see.
Papyrus: That does sound cooler I must admit.
Papyrus: So, tell me about your ka-ra-te.
SpongeBob: Well, starting with the basics, ka-ra-te is best used for self-defense. Don't get me wrong, it can help win a fight lickety-split, but only if used right.
SpongeBob: Thankfully, I had a great teacher.
Papyrus: When you say teacher, do you mean a wise old grandmaster?
SpongeBob: Nope, I'm talking about my friend, Sandy Checks. She's a squirrel from the surface.
Papyrus: Really? But if that's the case, how can she live underwater?
SpongeBob: She has to wear a suit while outside and her home, a tree, is in a large dome.
Papyrus: I see. Tell me a bit more about Sandy.
SpongeBob: Well, before coming to Bikini Bottom, she lived in Texas. She's also a scientist, explorer, and inventor.
Papyrus: She certainly sounds like an interesting character. I wonder what Dr. Alphys would think of her...
Papyrus: What about her ka-ra-te skills?
SpongeBob: There the best in all of Bikini Bottom! Everything I know is because of her.
Papyrus: I can relate to that. Back when monsters were trapped underground, I trained hard with the captain of the royal guard, Undyne!
SpongeBob: Trapped underground???
Papyrus: Oh, I suppose you wouldn't know. Allow me to explain...
Papyrus: I explained some of the history of monsters to SpongeBob before we parted ways.
Papyrus: All in all, I feel like I got a bit closer with SpongeBob today.
A little while later, Papyrus was minding his own business when...
*BABING*
Papyrus: Hm?
Papyrus: That's the notification for the Chat App!
Papyrus: I opened the chat.
---Chat---
SpongeBob: Hey everyone, I'm gonna start making dinner. Does anyone want to help? - 6:57 PM Today
------
Papyrus: It is around dinner time. I think I'll pitch in.
---Chat---
SpongeBob: Hey everyone, I'm gonna start making dinner. Does anyone want to help? - 6:57 PM Today
Papyrus: I'll pitch in! - 6:57 PM Today
Luz: I'll help too - 6:57 PM Today
Meg: I can help - 6:57 PM Today
SpongeBob: Wow, thanks you three! - 6:57 PM Today
SpongeBob: Meet me in the kitchen. - 6:57 PM Today
SpongeBob: Everyone else can wait in the Cafe, or I'll message anyone not there. - 6:57 PM Today
Peter: Thanks pals! - 6:57 PM Today
------
Papyrus: I better get going.
Papyrus makes his way to the Cafe, seeing Luz already there with SpongeBob.
Luz: Heya, Papyrus.
Papyrus: Hello Luz. Where's Meg?
Meg: I'm right here!
Papyrus: Meg suddenly rushed over to us.
Meg: Sorry about that...
SpongeBob: It's fine Meg. Now, follow me to the kitchen and we can get cooking!
Papyrus: SpongeBob lead the three of us to the kitchen.
Meg: So, what are we making?
SpongeBob: Well, we're definitely gonna need to make a lot. We should also try to make a variety of things.
Papyrus: Oh, I know! I can make my signature dish!
SpongeBob: Oh, you cook Papyrus?
Papyrus: Indeed! I, The Great Papyrus, can make a mean bowl of spaghetti!
Luz: We can make a lot of that. Papyrus, get on that.
Papyrus: But of course!
Papyrus: I began to prepare the spaghetti as easily as I breathe.
Papyrus: In no time flat, the kitchen was alive with the sounds of conversation and cooking.
SpongeBob: How's the spaghetti coming, Pap?
Papyrus: It's almost ready. How's everyone else coming along?
Meg: I'm grilling the last of the vegetables and hay, the teriyaki steaks are almost done, and...SpongeBob, can you check the meatloaf?
SpongeBob: I've been keeping an eye on it, Meg. It's almost ready.
Meg: Good, thanks. Luz, do you need the tortilla chips yet?
Luz: In a sec. My masterpiece is almost done!
Papyrus: Luz, if you don't mind my asking, what exactly are you making?
Luz: It's a fusion dish. See, there's this Boiling Isles sauce called Bonum that I really like, and I tried this Troll sauce called Liquamen at lunch today.
Luz: So, I mixed the sauces, and I was like "santa mierda, this sauce rules!". So, I decided to make some extra cheesy meat and refried bean enchiladas with this special sauce, and a hint of chili powder for that classic kick.
Papyrus: A triple fusion dish? That sounds incredible!
SpongeBob: No wonder you're called the Ultimate Fantasy Enthusiast. That's so creative!
Luz: Thanks, SpongeBob. Once I'm done, I'll whip up the nachos really quick.
SpongeBob: That's good. As for me, the regular and tofu Krabby Patties are finished, I just need to lay everything out on the trays so people can build them how'd ever they like.
Papyrus: A little bit later, everything was ready.
Papyrus: As we exited the kitchen, I could see that everyone was already waiting at the table.
SpongeBob: Make room everyone. We've gotta set the table.
Finnelan: Allow me to help with all that.
Jotaro: Same here.
Papyrus: After setting up, the cooks and I took our seats.
Pucci: My word, you've all really outdid yourselves. Everything smells heavenly.
Spamton: TALK ABOUT [[5 michelin stars]]!
SpongeBob: Thanks, everyone! We worked really hard on this, and we hope you enjoy it.
Murrit: >([aw #ell yea#, we even got nachos up in t#is bitc#!]
Dismas: W/\it /\ sec, is th/\t Liqu/\men s/\uce? I h/\\/en't h/\d th/\t since I w/\s /\ kid!///
Amity: And it's mixed with Bonum sauce. Also, I think it's serviced on an enchilada, right?
Luz: That's right mi belleza inteligente. As for the sauce mix, trust me Amity it's great!
Luz: If I'm wrong, I'll pamper you with kisses as penance!
Amity: L-Luz, I trust you, relax. There's no need for such a...fairy declaration.
Krabs: Argargargarg, ain't young love somethin'? Anne, ye're a teacher, so ye should get me meanin', yeah?
Finnelan: Believe me, I couldn't begin to recount all the tales I have.
Stanbot: Ms. Constanze is rather sure two of her friends are on the verge of acting like this.
Constanze: To be honest, they almost already do. Unfortunately, their stupid and haven't realized their feelings.
Sanemi: As someone who's seen the exact same thing, I take it that it's fucking annoying.
Constanze: *nods*
Spamton: SO, CAN WE [[dig a little deeper]] IN NOW?
Peter: Yeah, what Spamton said. Let's get eating before this all goes cold.
SpongeBob: Alright then everyone, let's dig in!
Papyrus: Everyone began making their plates. I myself tried one of the Krabby patties SpongeBob made.
Papyrus: Wowie, It's amazing! I'm usually not a fan of food like this, but I'd be a liar if I said this wans good.
Papyrus: Oh, a few people have already taken my dish!
Sanemi: So, what the fuck is this? Some kind of American soba?
Jotaro: It's spaghetti. It's a traditional Italian food.
Genya: I might sound like a dumbass, but how the hell do I eat this?
Jotaro: Like this, watch.
Papyrus: Jotaro demonstrated a classic spaghetti twirl.
Genya: Oh, I see. Like this!
Papyrus: While having some trouble at first, Genya got it in no time.
Genya: Ha, I got it!
Sanemi: Don't act so proud of yourself, dumbass. It was obvious how you do it.
Asakusa: But you didn't even know what spaghetti was until a few seconds ago.
Sanemi: So what? I still got common sense, don't I? I knew how to eat it the whole time.
Pucci: And yet you were watching Mr. Kujo's demonstration as well.
Sanemi: No, I wasn't! Don't lie you holier-then-thou bastard!
Kanamori: You're the one lying here.
Sanemi: I'm not!
Applejack: Ya are.
Sanemi: Fuck all of you. Let me eat my damn spaghetti in peace.
Apple Bloom: 'Yer the one yellin'.
Papyrus: Sanmei ignored Apple Bloom's comment and aggressively twirled his own pasta.
Papyrus: And then the three put the food in their mouth, and their faces scrunched up in delight!
Papyrus: A song and dance that I'm far too used to. And now, comes the prai-
Genya: BLAAARGE!!!
Sanemi: NNGRAAAGH!
Papyrus: NYEH!?
Papyrus: Sanemi and Genya spit out their mouthfuls and began coughing and gaging.
Asakusa: Eeeeh!?
Papyrus: Are you two okay!? Did it go down the wrong pipe?
Sanemi: *cough cough* W-wrong pipe, more like wrong fucking hole! I should shove this up your nonexistent ass considering it tastes like shit!
Papyrus: W-what!? Does it really?
Apple Bloom: Don't ya taste 'yer own food?
Papyrus: Well...no. I've never eaten spaghetti before, I just make it for people.
Papyrus: And, uh, Jotaro didn't spit it out...
Papyrus: As I said that, Jotaro, who was hunched over the table, bagged his fist into the table multiple times.
Jotaro: *gulp*.
Papyrus: Look, he even swallowed it.
Kanamori: Yeah, barely.
Jotaro: I'm sorry to say this Papyrus, but that tasted like hot crap.
Papyrus: ...............
Papyrus: Hold on, let me try that spaghetti.
Genya: It's your funeral.
Papyrus: Genya passed me the spaghetti.
Papyrus: I put it in my mouth-
Papyrus: NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Papyrus: AAAAA GET IT OUT, OH MY GOD, AAAAAAA!
Papyrus: After a few minutes of coughing and washing it down, I managed to cleanse my palate.
Papyrus: .......Oh my god, I was giving this to people...
Papyrus: With what just happened, I'm starting to doubt if any the reactions I've gotten have been genuine...
Papyrus: Oh well, that's something to deal with at another time. Right now, I should just enjoy dinner.
Papyrus: After that little incident, everyone began to truly enjoy dinner.
Luz: Tell me, how's my masterpiece?
Amity: I might be a bit biased when I say this, but It's delicious Luz.
Murrit: >([yea#, t#is s#it bussin, no cap]
Dismas: You didn't h/\\/e to s/\y th/\t. You chose to s/\y th/\t.///
Murrit: >([babe. it's me. yu no i gotta do it]
Constanze: You really don't.
Applejack: Ya know, aah occasionally get a tofu burger from this fast-food place in mah town call Hay Burger, but these definitely are miles better than those.
Krabs: Me boys called the Ultimate Fry Cook for a reason, Ms. Applejack.
Jotaro: Meg, you made the teriyaki steaks, right?
Meg: I did. Do you like them?
Jotaro: I do.
Genya: They're definitely a good palate cleanser after that dog slobber spaghetti.
Papyrus: .............
Pucci: I think this is the part where you say "no offense".
Genya: No. I said that with full offense.
Meg: Don't worry about it Pap, just take this as a learning experience.
Sanemi: I still don't get how you never realized your cooking was shit...
Papyrus: ........................
Pucci: If it makes you feel better Papyrus, try and take this as constructive criticism.
Papyrus: More like destructive criticism...
Apple Bloom: Dismas, ya got a little somethin' on 'yer bandana.
Dismas: Wh/\t?///
Papyrus: Dismas felt the tip of his bandana before looking at his fingers, now stained with Luz's special sauce.
Dismas: Cr/\p. Oh well, I'll just put it in the w/\sh when I go to bed.///
Kanamori: Why don't you just take it off when you eat? That would avoid any and all stains.
Finnelan: I've had the same thought. In fact, I don't think you've ever taken your bandana off this entire time.
Dismas: Bec/\use I ne\/er t/\ke it off in front of others. Before you /\sk, I'd r/\ther not t/\lk /\bout it, so ple/\se respect th/\t.///
Finnelan: I see. Alright, I won't ask.
Dismas: Th/\nks /\nne, bec/\use I'm only /\sking this once. You got th/\t e\/eryone?///
Constanze gives a thumbs up.
Meg: Hear you loud and clear.
Sanemi: You say that like I give a shit about what's under there.
Papyrus: We all continued eating, until...
Peter: Boy, I am stuffed to the brim.
Asakusa: Yeah, it was really good.
Sanemi: I guess. Also, we're never letting Papyrus cook again.
Papyrus: Can I still help with making food?
Genya: Fuck no and fuck you.
Papyrus: ................
SpongeBob: I'm glad everyone mostly enjoyed the meal. Thanks to Luz, Meg, and Papyrus for helping.
Meg: It wasn't a problem SpongeBob.
Papyrus: Yes, we were happy to help.
Papyrus: Even if my dish was bashed...
SpongeBob: But there's one more thing we want everyone to do, isn't that right Mr. Krabs?
Krabs: Indeed, it is bucko.
Krabs: Ye see, I'm wantin' everyone here to get to know each other a little better.
Amity: I'm guessing that means you want us to tell everyone a bit about ourselves, correct?
Krabs: That's correct, lass.
Sanemi: You can count me out. You already know everything you need to know about me.
Genya: Same with me.
Krabs: If that's the case, then sit down and listen. So, which one of ye wants the first go at it?
Papyrus: Oh, I'll go!
Papyrus: As you all know, I, The Great Papyrus, am I monster. But what does the mean? Well, let me go over some basic stuff.
Papyrus: I want over the war and how humans had sealed us monsters underground. I also went over some of my early years, talked a bit about my brother, and some memorable moments in Snowdin. Finally, I, of course, told them about The Human and the freedom of mosnterkind.
Papyrus: ...And that is my little story. Or, my "Undertale". Get it?
Genya: Little? You pretty much just gave us a history lesson.
Peter: And much like most history lessons I've gotten in my life, I barely absorbed any of it!
Apple Bloom: That seems more like a you problem, Peter.
SpongeBob: Come on, guys. Sure, it might have been a little long, but I certainly found it interesting. Thank you for sharing, Papyrus.
Papyrus: It was a pleasure.
Krabs: How's about ye go next, Mr. Spamton?
Spamton: [[ruminating...]] I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO WRITE [[the story of my life]] [[for the world to see!]]. ALRIGHT, I'LL DO IT! I'LL CONSIDER YOU GUYS A TEST GROUP.
Spamton: I COME FROM THE CYBER WORLD, SPECIFICALLY CYBER CITY. DURING MY [[Sentential Days]] I WAS JUST THE E_MAIL GUY, WHILE THE REST OF MY [[Bruh]]THERS WERE SALESMEN.
Spamton: I TRIED E V E R Y T H I N G TO BECOME [[comically large]]. EVERY [[Hot Single]] NIGHT, WHEN [[me and the boys]] WOULD GO TO THE CYBER GRILL, I'D TELL THEM, "YOU JUST [[time keeping device]]! SOMEDAY, I'M GONNA BE A BIG SHOT!".
Spamton: AND YET...
Spamton: AND..................YET..........
Spamton: .............
Spamton went silent as his eyes turned pitch black.
Applejack: Um, Spamton, are ya oka-
Spamton: HAEAHAEAHAEAHAEA!
Spamton: BUT MY LUCK TURNED [[upside doodly]], WHEN I [[called the number on the back]] AND FOUND A PARTNER! BEFORE I KNEW IT, I WAS [[drowning]] IN SUCCESS!
Spamton: I WAS BIG! SO SO B I G!
Spamton: I EVEN HAD A ROOM IN THE QUEENS MANSION! DID MY HAVE A ROOM IN [[Q5U4EX7YY2E9N]]'s mansion? N O!
Spamton: OK. I'M DONE.
Constanze: Is that it?
Stanbot: I feel as though there's more to this story...
Apple Bloom: Aah think that too. Aah mean, didn't ya mention somethin' about 'yer sales when ya tried ta make a deal with Applejack?
Applejack: Yeah, aah remember ya mentionin' somethin' about that.
Kanamori: You also just said you sleep in a garbage can.
Spamton: REALLY? I DONT. REMEMBER THAT.
Spamton: SO, [[who's next!]]?
Peter: Oh, me and Meg will go!
Peter: So, the most important thing you should know about me is that I'm a family man!
Peter: I got my hot wife Lois, Meg, my son Chris, my baby Stewie, and my dog Brian.
Peter: I also work at Pawtucket Brewery, the makers of the best damn beer around!
Dismas: The Ultim/\te /\lcoholic works /\t /\ brewery, hm? Color me tot/\lly /\nd underly surprised. re/\lly.///
Meg: That's not even talking about how the Clam.
Papyrus: The Clam?
Peter: The paradise Meg is talking about is The Drunken Clam!
Peter: It's a bar owned by my buddy, Jerome. Me and my friends hang there all the time.
Peter: Man, just talking about this makes me wish we had some beer here.
Kanamori: Hm? But we-
Meg: Y-yeah. Sure is a shame! So, why don't you tell everyone about your friends?
Peter: Oh yeah, let me tell you about them.
Papyrus: Did she not tell him about the alcohol refrigerator?
Peter: There's Joe, a paraplegic police officer. Quagmire, a pilot that knows his way around a girl. And Cleveland, a mailman.
Genya: Wait, what does paraplegic mean?
Amity: It describes someone who's paralyzed from the waist down.
SpongeBob: What about you, Meg? Tell us a bit about yourself.
Meg: Well, dad went over the family already, so about me specifically, I go to Adam West High School.
Papyrus: And she likely isn't the most popular student, judging from her Ultimate Talent...
Pucci: Wait, Adam West? Like the actor?
Meg: The exact same. He was the mayor of our town and was married to my aunt, but after he died, his brother Wild West became the mayor.
Murrit: >([Wild West? w#at, iz #e a cowboy or sumt#in?]
Meg: Yeah.
Murrit: >([.......o#.]
Meg: So yeah, that's pretty much everything I have to say.
Krabs: If that's the case, then who wants to go next?
Pucci: I'll go next if that's alright.
SpongeBob: Of course, Pucci, the floor's all yours.
Pucci: Thank you. I was born on June 5, 1972, to a family descended from an influential Italian lineage, so I grew up with a wealthy upbringing. I was also born with a disfigured left foot, though thankfully it doesn't hinder my ability to walk.
Finnelan: I see. If you don't mind answering, why did you become a priest?
Pucci: I don't mind answering at all. My want to become a priest was born the day my family took me and my sister Perla to a grave. It was for someone named Domenico Pucci.
Papyrus: Oh dear, so it was the grave of a family member...
Pucci: Indeed, but I've never heard of Domenico before. When I asked who Domenico was, my parents revealed that Domenico was my twin brother, who had died soon after childbirth.
Papyrus: ...!
Papyrus: Oh my word...
Finnelan: Pucci, I...I'm so sorry.
Pucci: You don't need to apologize, Finnelan. I already said I was alright with answering. I wasn't really sad when I learned of him, more shocked if anything.
Sanemi: That makes sense, you didn't even know him.
Pucci: When I learned of my brother, I began to wonder about things like fate, fortune, misfortune, and happiness. To gain more insight into these subjects, I became a priest.
Pucci: Currently, I'm working as a chaplain at Green Dolphin Street Prison.
Krabs: I see. Thank ye for sharin', Father.
Pucci: It wasn't an issue. Now, how about you go next, Mr. Kujo?
Jotaro: Hm? Me?
Pucci: Yes, I figured since you and I are the odd ones out when it comes to pairs, I thought we should get to know each other better.
Jotaro: Hmm...Alright, I'll bite.
Jotaro: I was born in the Kugyo District in Japan to Holly Kujo, a kind British-Italian woman, and Sadao Kujo, a famous jazz musician.
Pucci: Sadao Kujo...! I knew your last name sounded familiar.
Jotaro: Ah, so you've heard my father's work. It seems we have more connections with each other than we thought.
Pucci: So it would seem...
Apple Bloom: Hey, Mr. Kujo. 'Yer a marine biologist, right? Why'd ya become one?
Jotaro: It's an interesting story. I was...on a bit of a trip. During it, I was on a submarine.
Spamton: HOLY [[@#!%$]], ARE YOU [[Richie Rich]]!?
Jotaro: No, but my grandpa is. In fact, it was his submarine.
Jotaro: Anyway, while in the sub, I got an up-close look at marine life, which made me interested in it.
Papyrus: I can definitely see why getting such a close look may peak interest.
Jotaro: I'm also married.
Papyrus: Oh right, I remember you saying that when we first met.
Peter: Oh, so you got a family?
Jotaro: I got a kid. An 8-year-old named Jolyne.
Finnelan: Jolyne? That's a beautiful name, Mr. Kujo.
Jotaro: Thanks. Anyway, that's it from me.
Krabs: If that's that, then which one of ye lot wants to go next?
Sanemi: How about you and yellow boy go next? You're the ones that want us to do this, so I think it only fair if you two go too.
Krabs: Hmmm, I'll give ye that, it would only be fair.
Krabs: So then, as I've been sayin' before, I, Eugene Harold Krabs, am the owner of the Bikini Bottom's best restaurant, The Krusty Krab!
Genya: We know that already, but what is The Krusty Krab?
Krabs: It's a fast-food place, known for its signature dish: The Krabby Patty!
Meg: Oh, SpongeBob, isn't that what we made in the kitchen?
SpongeBob: Sorta. All that was missing was the secret formula.
Papyrus: Secret formula? What's that?
Krabs: It's called a secret formula for a reason, lad.
Papyrus: Oh.
Papyrus: I suppose that's rather obvious...
Constanze: What about you? What can you tell us something about you?
Krabs: Somethin' about me? Well, I was in the army in me early day.
Krabs: But I don't talk about Nam if I can help it...
Luz: Wait, Nam? L-like Vietnam? There was a fish Vietnam War!?
Krabs: Yes, lass. And it was hell...
Krabs: But let's get back to me! I got meself a daughter, Pearl. She's a whale.
Peter: Really? My son's a whale too.
SpongeBob: Peter, Mr. Krabs means Pearl is an actual whale.
Peter: Oh, I thought she was fat, like my son.
SpongeBob: As for me, I'm the fry cook for The Krusty Krab, an avid practitioner of ka-ra-te, and a jellyfish catcher.
Papyrus: Jellyfish? I do hope you're careful around them. I hear their stings are quite painful!
SpongeBob: Believe me, me and my buddy Patrick know that all too well.
SpongeBob: Oh, and here's a little fun fact about me...
Papyrus: SpongeBob suddenly wrung his body like a towel.
Dismas: W-wh/\t the hell!?///
SpongeBob: The sponge is SpongeBob isn't there for nothing.
Amity: I take you're also absorbent then, yes?
SpongeBob: You're 100% correct, there's no one more absorbent and porous than me!
SpongeBob: But that's all I have to say. Do you want to add anything, Mr. Krabs?
Krabs: No, I've said me piece, lad. Now, which one of ye wants to speak next?
Luz: Me and Mittens can go!
Krabs: Go right ahead, lasses.
Luz: Okay, so I'm Luz Noceda, I'm a high school student from Connecticut, and my mom's name is Camila, she's a veterinarian.
Amity: As for me, I'm from a very wealthy and powerful witch family, the Blights. I also have two twin siblings, Emira and Edric.
Apple Bloom: If aah'm rememberin' right, ya both are from different worlds, right?
Amity: That's correct Apple Bloom. Luz is from the Human Realm, while I'm from the Demon Realm.
Constanze: From a place called the "Boiling Isles" if memory serves.
Spamton: THIS MAY BE A [[Clinically Braindead]] QUESTION, BUT IS THE NAME "BOILING ISLES" METAPHORICAL OR [[as real as the hair on my]]
Spamton: [[Hyperlink Blocked]]
Luz: Oh, it is completely literal. Between the boiling sea and the boiling rain, take your pick on what the names based on.
Papyrus: What struggles has this girl gone through in the Demon Realm...?
Amity: Before we move on to someone else, I should also mention that Luz and I go to the same school, The Hexside School of Magic and Demonics.
Sanemi: Demonics...I know you don't mean the type of demonics I deal with, but I still can't help but feel my fucking blood boil...
SpongeBob: Then let's move on. Is that fine with you, girls?
Luz: Yeah, that's fine.
Amity: I certainly don't need Mr. Shinazugawa blowing up again.
Genya: Don't talk about my brother like he's a damn ticking time bomb!
Sanemi: And don't talk for me, you talentless fucker!
Applejack: How about me and Apple Bloom go next?
SpongeBob: Go right ahead.
Papyrus: Nice save, Applejack. That could've gotten ugly...
Applejack: So, aah've already said this, but mah family runs and lives on our farm, Sweet Apple Acres.
Papyrus: Where you grow...Zap Apple's, if I'm remembering right.
Applejack: Yup! Zap Apples are what the family is known for, but we grow a large variety uh different apples.
Kanamori: So, this "Zap Apple" is a seasonal fruit.
Asakusa: Can you tell us a bit about your family?
Applejack: Well, Apple Bloom's the youngest, I'm the second oldest, mah brother Big McIntosh is the oldest sibling, and there's also Granny Smith.
Papyrus: So, one other sibling and a grandma. But, what about the mother and father?
Papyrus: ...Perhaps...I shouldn't ask...
Finnelan: How about you, Apple Bloom? Tell us a bit about yourself.
Apple Bloom: Me? Well, I got two friends, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. Sweetie's a Unicorn, and Scootaloo's a Pegasus.
Apple Blood: And together, we are the Cutie Mark Crusaders!
Peter: The Cutie Mark Crusaders? Is that some typa gang?
Applejack: No, mah sis ain't part uh no gang. It's just what she calls her friend group.
Apple Bloom: The Crusaders are way more than that! When we first formed, our whole purpose was ta get our Cutie Marks. But after we got them, we started ta help others with Cutie Mark-related problems.
Murrit: >([a#, t#at's a pretty noble t#ang to do n' all t#at]
Murrit: >([but also i straig#t up #ave no fuckin clue w#atc#a talkin 'bout]
Asakusa: I don't either. What's a Cutie Mark?
Apple Bloom: It's the symbols me and Applejack got on our flanks. Ain't ya noticed that before?
Papyrus: I did, but I just assumed they were tattoos.
Contsanze: Why would someone so young get a tattoo?
Papyrus: Who was I to judge???
Apple Bloom: Oh, also Applejack didn't mention it yet, but her and the rest uh her friends are super important in Equestria
Spamton: WHAT? DO YOU MEAN TO SAY THAT THEY'R3
Spamton: [[B I G S H-
Applejack: No! No. Me and mah friends ain't, um, "big shots".
Spamton: OH.
Genya: Then what does the kid mean by that?
Applejack: Ya see aah didn't really mention it before because aah didn't wanna sound like aah was braggin' or nothin', but aah'm a bearer uh'va pretty strong artifact.
Jotaro: An artifact? What kind of artifact?
Applejack: Ya see, there's these powerful artifacts called the Elements uh Harmony. There's six uh 'em, and each uh mah friends and me each are the bearer uh one of 'em.
Applejack: Aah'm the element uh Honesty, Fluttershy's the element uh Kindness, Pinkie's the element uh Laughter, Rarity's the element uh Generosity, Rainbow; mah friend Apple Bloom was talkin' about before, is the element uh Loyalty, and finally there's Twilight, the element uh Magic.
Sanemi: Wait a damn minute, if you have something like that, why the fuck didn't you use it against that bastard Mastodon!?
Applejack: Because aah don't got it with me! And even if aah did, it wouldn't work without the other elements.
Peter: That sucks! I thought these things are supposed to be strong.
Applejack: They are, they just need ta be used together.
Applejack: But that's beside the point. Me and Apple Bloom are finished, so someone else can go now.
Kanamori: If that's how it is, then Asakusa and I will go.
Asakusa: Yeah, what Kanamori said. Although, me and Kanamori are pretty normal, so hearing about us won't be as interesting.
Krabs: That couldn't matter less. The whole purpose of this is to get to know each other a little better, so as long as that happens, this'll be a succus.
Krabs: So, get to it, girls!
Asakusa: R-right!
Asakusa: So, uh, me and Kanamori are freshmen at Shibahama High School.
Papyrus: And should my memory be correct, you two are part of the Motion Picture Club; also called Eizouken.
Asakusa: Yup. I'm the director and Kanamori's the producer.
Kanamori: We also have two other members: Mizusaki and Doumeki, our animator and audio adviser respectively.
Kanamori: So far, our most major accomplishment was the making of "Shibahama UFO Wars".
Papyrus: Ah, so a Sci-Fi.
Asakusa: So, that's kinda it. Like I said, there isn't much to say about us.
Krabs: Like I was sayin' before, that's fine. So, who's next?
Kanamori: How about the Trolls go next? I'd like to know more about their race.
Dismas: /\ctu/\lly, could me /\nd Murrit go l/\st? We h/\\/e /\ lot to s/\y /\nd it might be /\ bit long.///
Finnelan: If that's so, then Ms. von Braunschbank Albrechtsberger and I shall go next.
Finnelan: I am a professor of Luna Nova Magical Academy.
Papyrus: You mentioned that Luna Nova was a rather prestigious school, yes Anne?
Finnelan: Indeed, Mr. Papyrus. Luna Nova is the most prestigious witch academy in all of Europe.
Finnelan: As for some history, Luna Nova was founded in the 5th century. At its opening, there were around 100 students, and the building was considered a masterpiece at the time.
Finnelan: Of course, Luna Nova has faced its trials and tribulations, such as it being destroyed in a fire that occurred in 1800s during Witch Hunts. However, great witches like Jennifer and Woodward restored it, allowing it to prosper to this day.
???: Actually...
Papyrus: Imagine our surprise when we realized who was behind us...
Mastodon: ...That's a bit of a lie, isn't it?
Constanze: ...!
Sanemi: YOU!
Peter: Holy crap!
Dismas: Wh/\t the fuck!?///
Papyrus: Where did he come from!?
Finnelan: What in the...!? W-what are you talking about!?
Mastodon: What am I talking about? Well, this whole thing is meant to get you tragic actors more acquainted with each other, is it not? I'm just making sure everything is clear.
Kanamori: What do you mean?
Mastodon: In the present period of science and technology, witchcraft has ceased to be perceived as a practical art, and instead as a relic of the past doomed to obsolescence.
Stanbot: Now it is you who's fibbing! Ms. Constanze and her friends stopped that from happening!
Spamton: YES, YOU MENTIONED SOMETHING ABOUT [[ballistics]] WHEN ME [[and the homies]] TALKED TO YOU.
Genya: Finnelan called you and your friends the saviors of magic too.
Stanbot: Because they are!
Constanze: To somewhat explain, a powerful magitronic creature had possessed a missile, making it launch.
Mastodon: Thankfully for magickind, Dame von Braunschbank Albrechtsberger and her friends worked together and stopped it.
Amity: What does "magitronic" mean?
Stanbot: Magitronics have to do with the combination of magic and technology.
Mastodon: It's something Dame von Braunschbank Albrechtsberger excels in, hence her talent.
Papyrus: Right, Constanze is the Ultimate Engineer.
Finnelan: To this day, I will never understand your like of Magitronics. Not only does it go against the traditions of olde, but do you realize that that magitronic monstrosity could've ended not only magic but the world as we know it? Something so dangerous cannot be trusted!
Amity: But Professor Finnelan, can't regular magic be just as dangerous as well?
Finnelan: Well, traditional magic can be used for harm, but that doesn't mean it's dangerous...
Constanze: Then why should such logic be applied to Magitronics?
Peter: Yeah, Magitronics don't kill people, death kills people!
Finnelan: Well...Okay, calling Magitronics dangerous might've been a bit much, but it still goes against tradition!
Mastodon: Does the world not constantly change? If you wish to stay in the spotlight, you must adapt. It is a basic rule of life that if you follow, you shall overcome all that stands against you...
Finnelan: What do you know of magic!? Don't try and lecture me!
Mastodon: ...It seems I've overstayed my cameo. I shall be leaving now.
Chains descended and completely covered Mastodon. When they parted, the theatric host of the Killing Game was gone.
Genya: That fucker...Thinking he can come and go whenever he'd like...!
Papyrus: And he always does so so suddenly...
Applejack: Forget about him...
Krabs: The lass is right. Now, do ye two have more to add?
Finnelan: Well, besides the fact that I teach Magic Linguistics, I've said what I wanted to.
Constanze: As for me, I can only add the fact that I have two roommates, Amanda and Jasminka.
Stanbot: She was also born in Germany, though that may have been obvious.
Constanze: Now that Professor Finnelan and I are done, the only ones left are Dismas and Murrit.
Murrit: >([yea# yea#, me n' Diz2fly ova #ere #ear ya loud n' clear.]
Murrit: >([Mersiv my good bitc#, fill deez bozo's in-n-out w#ile i get our visual aid!]
Papyrus: Murrit gets up and jogs out of the Cafe.
Pucci: Visual aid?
Dismas: It'll m/\ke some stuff e/\sier to underst/\nd.///
Dismas: /\nyw/\y, I'll just be t/\lking /\bout some b/\sic stuff /\bout where I come from.///
Luz: You mean Repiton?
Dismas: Yup, our shithole pl/\net.///
Apple Bloom: Murrit called it that too. Is it really that bad there?
Dismas: Let's see, there's our toxic bl/\ck oce/\ns, powerful r/\di/\tion, p/\r/\sitic unde/\d /\nd those /\re just the things I c/\n think of off the top of my he/\d.///
Apple Bloom: ...Oh.
Papyrus: How do people even live there...?
Dismas: /\nother thing you should know is how Trolls /\re r/\ised.///
Dismas: I t/\lked to /\ few of you /\nd it's definitely different from how it's done on Repiton. You're r/\ised by your /\ncestors, right?
Spamton: DO YOU MEAN [[I want mommy!]] AND [[Sí papi!]]?
Dismas: If I'm getting wh/\t you me/\n, then ye/\h.///
Dismas: But Trolls /\ren't r/\ised by their "p/\rents", but by Lusii. We /\lso c/\ll them custodi/\ns.///
Papyrus: I believe you mentioned yours when Spamton, Genya, and I met you for the first time.
Genya: Yeah, the shitlizard.
Applejack: Is...Is it called that because he's made uh-
Dismas: No. He's /\ctu/\lly c/\lled /\ Skulltit/\n, /\nd when I get out of here, I'm gonn/\ continue my mission to kill him!///
Finnelan: I take it you don't like him all that munch.
Papyrus: I can understand why he feels that way, seeing as I remember him saying that his custodian forced him to mine for radioactive ore.
Papyrus: Suddenly, the Cafe door was kicked open.
Murrit: >([w#at'sup sluts! it's ya #ome skillet in t#e distinguis#ed meat coat! and i cum bearin gifts]
Papyrus: Murrit walks into the Cafe, wheeling one of the whiteboards from the Computer Lab.
Asakusa: What do you need that for?
Murrit: >([it's t#e visual aid i was talkin 'bout]
Dismas: Now th/\t Murrit's here, we c/\n expl/\in the biggest thing /\bout Trolls...///
Dismas: ...Their system of rom/\nce.///
Kanamori: System of romance? So, you even do that differently. Interesting.
Peter: Do you guys have a mating dance or something? If so, can you teach me it? I've been wantin' to spice up my sex life with my hot piece of ass wife.
Meg: D-dad!
Murrit: >([na# man, we ain't got no matin dance or not#in]
Dismas: Though, we do know someone who likes d/\nc-///
Murrit: >([we don't talk about her, Dismas]
Dismas: Eh...Right. Ok/\y, so let's get st/\rted.///
Murrit: >([rite rite rite]
Papyrus: Murrit begins drawing on the whiteboard
Apple Bloom: What's that?
Murrit: >([deez are t#e quadrants]
Papyrus: Quadrants? Wait...
Papyrus: A...spade? What do you mean?
Bandana: Oh, right. I guess /\n /\lien wouldn't re/\lly know wh/\t Qu/\dr/\nts /\re, would they?///
Spamton: [[The axes of a two-dimensional Cartesian system divide the plane into four infinite regions]]?
Bandana: Litsen, I c/\n't re/\lly get into it right now, but to put re/\lly re/\lly re/\lly simple, me and them are together.///
Papyrus: Ooooh, you're dating!
Papyrus: Dismas, you mentioned these Quadrants when me and my group first met you and Murrit.
Genya: Yeah, Murrit called you his "spade".
Meg: What do card suits have to do with romance?
Dismas: Like I s/\id, me /\nd Murrit will expl/\in.///
Dismas: So, unlike /\ll of you, Trolls feel four types of rom/\nce.///
Sanemi: The fuck do you mean "types of romance"? How can there be different types? You like someone, and you kiss them, and that's it!
Luz: Maybe for humans, but we're talking about Trolls. They're literally aliens. Of course, they're gonna do things differently!
Sanemi: Well, yeah, but I just don't get it.
Murrit: >([t#en zip ya dam scarred ass maw and open t#em scarred ass ear#oles my brudda# from'a different All-Mot#er]
Sanemi: The fuCK DID YOU JUST-
Applejack: Sanemi, don't.
Sanemi: But he-
Applejack: No buts, just ignore her and listen.
Sanemi: Nggh...Fine! But I'm only doing this to stop you from bitching.
Apple Bloom: Hey! 'Yer on thin ice...
Papyrus: Shouldn't the older sibling be the one saying that?
Murrit: >([anyway-w#ere-w#en-and or w#o, let's start w/ sumt#in y'all are gonna get]
Murrit: >([so let me n' my boytoy tell ya 'bout t#e flus#ed quadrant]
Dismas: They me/\n the he/\rt symbol, though it's /\lso c/\lled M/\tespritship.///
Dismas: The flushed qu/\dr/\nt is the most simil/\r to how you /\ll do rom/\nce. For ex/\mple, if /\mity /\nd Luz were Trolls, they'd be /\ de/\d ringer for m/\tesprits.///
Luz: Wow...So even as aliens, it'd be predestined...~
Amity: It is a rather romantic idea...
Papyrus: I see, but what of the spade? I'm assuming that's the one you and Murrit are in.
Dismas: The sp/\de is the c/\liginous qu/\dr/\nt.///
Murrit: >([and yu rite Knick Knack Pappy-W#ack, me n' Diz are in'a Kismesissitude]
Murrit: >([so w#en t#inkin ova caliginous typa relations#ip, ya gotta t#ink of it as a rivalry but romantic like. least, romantic in t#e way yu all t#ink of it as]
SpongeBob: Hmmmm...alright I think I'm getting this so far. I mean, people can be competitive and still get along, so why can't they date as well?
Dismas: I wouldn't describe /\ Kismesissitude /\s competiti\/e, but more /\s pushing e/\ch other.///
Dismas: B/\sic/\lly, when you're in /\ Kismesissitude, you pressure your Kismesis into betterment.///
Kanamori: So, a good Kismesissitude would result in both parties growing as people then, yes?
Murrit: >([na#, not just as peeps, but as a partners n' all t#at]
Papyrus: I see. So, despite it being a "rivalry" of sorts, it has a positive effect on the couple.
Genya: Okay, I'm weirdly getting this so far. How about the diamond?
Murrit: >([o, t#at ones easy!]
Murrit: >([so t#e diamond's t#e pale quadrant, also called Moirallegiance]
Murrit: >([important t#ing to no, moirails. can't. fuck. it's a w#ole ass taboo n' s#it. a big unfriendly giant n o]
Dismas: Ye/\h, only m/\tesprits /\nd Kismeses c/\n bond with e/\ch other.///
Apple Bloom: Bond?
Murrit: >([#ot sweaty sex]
Papyrus: Dismas slaps Murrit on the back of the head
Murrit: >([ow! w#at, so i can say t#e fuck word but can't say t#e sexy times word?]
Dismas: You gott/\ t/\lk /\bout stuff like th/\t with some t/\ct!///
Dismas: Oh w/\it, you don't h/\\/e /\ny-///
Papyrus: Murrit places a finger on Dismas' mouth, silencing him.
Murrit: >([i no w#atc#a gonna say, but s#ut tf up for a sec and lemmie speak my trut#, k?]
Murrit: >([.................]
Papyrus: He suddenly flicked Dismas' forehead.
Murrit: >([bitc# ass manlet]
Dismas: /\nnoying dipshit.///
Amity: You know, with the knowledge of Kismesissitude, your interactions are strangely kind of sweet.
Murrit: >([what?]
Murrit: >([n-na# na# na# na# na# na# na#, sweet is...t#at's more ova flus#ed t#ing, ya no. we was just doin a lil pitc# bickerin]
Murrit: >([but nuff of t#at. w#y don't we get back to it, eh Edgeboy?]
Dismas: Ye/\h. B/\ck to Moir/\llegi/\nce, moir/\ils keep e/\ch other grounded. They b/\l/\nce e/\ch other out /\nd listen to e/\ch other when things get /\ little tough or just need to \/ent.///
Constanze: Do either of you have a moirail?
Dismas: Murrit doesn't, but I do. Her n/\mes Jenth/\.///
SpongeBob: So, if that's it for pale quadrant, then all that's left is the club.
Dismas: Th/\t would be the /\shen qu/\dr/\nt, /\lso c/\lled /\uspisticism.///
Murrit: >([now t#is one is unique compared to t#e last t#ree quads, c'in t#at Auspisticism is meant to be temporary]
Murrit: >([but Mx. Turkin, smexiest being in all of existence, wtf do ya mean by t#at?]
Murrit: >([well, sometimes in life two trolls mig#t start to feud or maybe t#ey a red, black, or even a moirail couple t#at ended on a rancid note]
Murrit: >([eit#er way, some messy feelin's is gonna be #appenin. so, w#addya do?]
Murrit: >([yu getta mediator! and t#at's t#e role of t#e auspistice]
Kanamori: So, another thing that makes this quadrant unique is that it involves three people.
Murrit: >([ding ding ding, u r correct! Spamton, our group's walkin meme, tell Slenderwoman w#at s#e's won!]
Spamton: IF I HAD TO [[make up some bull]] [[duty!]] THEN SHE'S WON SOME [[brand spanking new]] INFORMATION.
Murrit: >([yu got it my favorite lil gremlin. Mersiv, w#y don't yu give 'em t#at info?]
Dismas: Ye/\h.///
Dismas: So, /\uspistices pl/\y the role of pe/\cekeepers, keeping the two h/\\/ing the feud /\p/\rt.///
Dismas: Usu/\lly, /\ moir/\il /\cts /\s the /\uspistice or someone who isn't in\/ol\/ed if there /\ren't /\ny moir/\ils /\\//\il/\ble.///
Dismas: To fin/\lly finish this, Trolls belie\/e th/\t you h/\\/e /\ soulm/\te in the flushed, c/\liginous, /\nd the p/\le qu/\dr/\nts.///
Peter: Soulmates? That reminds me of the time I got tangled up in the red string of fate!
Peter: ...........
Dismas: ...Ok/\y. /\nyw/\-///
Peter: Where the hells the cutaway?
Meg: I don't think that's gonna work here, dad.
Peter: Son of a bitch!
Sanemi: The only bitch here is you! This is already dragging on, so we don't need you spewing bullshit!
Dismas: Th/\nk you, S/\nemi. /\nyw/\y, /\ soulm/\te is /\ troll th/\t perfectly suits you to either compliment, oppose, or sust/\in you in /\ w/\y no one else could.///
Luz: Awww, so you two are soulmates then?~
Murrit: >([#ell yea#. #e's t#e worst t#ing to ever #appen to me. caliginously speakin of course]
Sanemi: Are we finally done with this?
Dismas: I me/\n, there is Qu/\dr/\nt \//\cill/\tion, but there isn't re/\lly /\ need to t/\lk /\bout it.///
Applejack: Vacilla-what now? What's that?
Murrit: >([c'mon AJ, we really don't-]
Dismas: If you're re/\lly curious, then Qu/\dr/\nt \//\cill/\tion is when someone's feelings ch/\nge. Like, /\ Trolls feelings for their p/\rtner m/\y switch from pitch to red or \/ice \/ers/\.///
Amity: With how complex your system of romance is, I can see that happening.
Murrit: >([but it doesn't #appen all t#at muc# t#o]
Dismas: Ye/\h, it's pretty r/\re. It's more frowned /\t if /\nything.///
Murrit: >([so, we don't gotta talk about it]
Murrit: >([so yea#, t#at's it. we done, Mista K]
Krabs: Good good. Ye wasn't kiddin' when ye said it would take a bit.
Krabs: But now that that's done, we can all go about doin' whatever we want; least till nighttime rolls around.
Sanemi: About damn time. I'm gonna get some training in before night.
Stanbot: Come Ms. Constanze! Perhaps we can work a bit more on the computers?
Constanze nodded her head at her invention.
Peter: About time. I'm gonna get a bite to eat.
Pucci: But we just ate...?
Papyrus: Once our bonding exercise was finished, we all went about our business until...
*BRING BRING BRING BRING...TWING*
Mastodon: It would seem that the moon has taken its place in the sky, ushering in the night. The stars and their cosmic artistry have a way of inviting the Sandman, don't they? But enough of prose so purple they seem blacker than midnight. Now is the time for rest, and as your director, I wish you all a peaceful night, my tragic actors.
Papyrus: It seems the day has come to an end.
Papyrus: I head to the Dorms, everyone else heading in for bed as well.
Spamton: IT'S TIME FOR ANOTHER [[midsummer night]] PEOPLE!
Genya: Yeah, we heard the announcement, dumbass.
Krabs: Lay off the man, laddie. Nothin' wrong with sayin' goodnight.
Luz: Yeah, goodnight everybody.
Jotaro: Night.
Papyrus: We all entered our rooms.
Papyrus: I now lay in my bed, contemplating...
Papyrus: It's only been a day, and yet I feel horribly homesick...and fearful.
Papyrus: I fully trust everyone here, but the atmosphere...knowing we're being watched by Mastodon...It all so much...
Papyrus: But I wouldn't be able to call myself The Great Papyrus if I'd let that stop me!
Papyrus: I'll keep going no matter what! Like the human, I'll stay determined!
Papyrus: With hope in my heart, I slowly lull myself into sleep...
*BRING BRING BRING BRING...TWING*
Mastodon: The rooster cries out once more! A cliche opening for a morning, but an opening nonetheless. As per usual, all areas that were locked during the witching hours have been reopened. Now go out and make the most of this day.
Papyrus: It seems it's time for a new morning here...
Papyrus: After showing and changing, I left my room.
Papyrus: It looks like a few people are heading to the Cafe.
Stanbot: Good morning, Papyrus.
Papyrus: Looking down next to me, Constanze and Stanbot looked back up.
Papyrus: Ah, good morning you two! I hope you slept well.
Constanze: *nods*
Stanbot: Ms. Constanze and I are fully charged!
Papyrus: You know, now that I think about it, do you have some manner of charging station in your room for Stanbot, Constanze?
Constanze: *shakes head*
Papyrus: No?
Stanbot: Indeed. I have not lost any power while I've been here, however. Strange, isn't it?
Papyrus: Nyeh? How is that possible?
Constanze: I've thought of some theories, but I still have no clue.
Papyrus: Yet another mystery to add onto the ever-growing pile of this puzzle...
Constanze: Let's get breakfast.
Papyrus: Yes, your right. I don't think there's any way to answer that question right now, especially not on an empty stomach.
The two went and entered the Cafe, almost everyone being already there.
Krabs: Ahoy there me mates! Come, take ye'rselves a seat.
Papyrus: Me and Constanze took our seats.
Papyrus: Everyone else came to the Cafe and did the same.
SpongeBob: Now that everyone's here, who wants to help me make breakfast?
Papyrus: I, The Great-
Sanemi: No, I'll do it. The last thing we need is you poising us.
Papyrus: ..........
Applejack: Um, aah'll help out too.
Papyrus: SpongeBob, Sanemi, and Applejack head into the kitchen.
Papyrus: As we all waited for the food, I happened to see something peculiar.
Papyrus: It seems that Dismas and Murrit are having a somewhat heated hushed conversation.
Papyrus: Now, The Great Papyrus isn't an eavesdropper, but I wouldn't want any unneeded conflict in the group, especially between romantic partners.
Papyrus: I focused in on their voices.
Murrit: >([i c w#ere ya cummin from, butt i just don't c w#at it would do]
Dismas: We could get more inform/\tion!///
Murrit: >([i ain't so sure 'bout t#at. bro definitely keeps #is cards close to #is mummified man-titties]
Dismas: I c/\n tell. I pl/\yed poker too, y'know.///
Dismas: E\/en then, I still w/\nn/\ do it. I'm cert/\in if we grill him enough, we might get something out of him!///
Murrit: >([if i'm bein generous, ya mig#t get a lil sliver of info, but t#at's it. w#at do ya t#ink you'd be able to do w/ t#at?]
Dismas: Hell if I know. But it's better th/\n nothing.///
Murrit: >([idk man...i t#ink yu s#ould t#ink 'bout it a wee bit more, k?]
Dismas: I guess...///
Papyrus: Grill him? Are they talking about Mastodon?
Papyrus: What is Dismas planning...?
Papyrus: After a bit, the food was served.
Peter: ...Hm! Holy crap Sanemi, you're a freaking sweet cook!
Pucci: For a man who prides himself on his fighting abilities, you also have some great civilian skills as well.
Genya: He wasn't always a Demon Slayer, y'know. He's cooked since we were kids.
Sanemi: Don't go telling people about my personal life, you dumb fucker!
Kanamori: I'm not seeing a problem with him telling us a small tidbit about you.
Sanemi: Tch...
Krabs: Come on, let's not start a fight so early in the mornin'.
Peter: Yeah, let's all just be pals.
Papyrus: Peter tried to take a sip of his drink, only to realize his cup was empty.
Peter: Oh, hold on, I'm gonna get a refill.
Papyrus: Peter got up to go to the kitchen.
Papyrus: But in the corner of my eye, I noticed Murrit downing the rest of his drink.
Murrit: >([dam, imma need a fill 2]
Papyrus: Murrit got up and went to the kitchen as well.
Papyrus: Without the cup.
Papyrus: How strange...
Papyrus: After a bit, Murrit came back. And yet...
Krabs: Turkin, what's takin' Mr. Griffin so long?
Murrit: >([o, #im? #e's makin some of t#at good ol' brown bean juice]
Krabs: I see. I suppose I'll have to be startin' without him.
Krabs: Now, could I be havin' ye'r attention, everyone?
Papyrus: Hm? What is it, Mr. Krabs?
Krabs: I've been thinking for a long while now, lad. In a crisis, people are gonna be wantin' some type of order.
Krabs: Which why from now on, ye all can start relyin' on this old seadog! Ye all, me crew, meself, the captain of this here metaphorical ship!
Jotaro: So, you're saying you're the going to be our leader.
SpongeBob: Uh-huh! Trust me guys, while Mr. Krabs can be a bit of a penny pincher, he's the most qualified person here to be leader!
Sanemi: Like hell he is. He owns a restaurant, big fucking deal. As a Hashira, I've dealt with deadly situations more times than I can count, and I've also done that while leading my fellow Demon Slayers.
Sanemi: If anyone should be the leader, it's obviously me.
Amity: I can see where you're coming from, Mr. Shinazugawa. But I ultimately think that Mr. Krabs is the better choice, you're just...how do I put this...?
Kanamori: You have clear anger management problems, you're brash, you escalate conflicts, and this isn't even mentioning whatever you have going on with your brother.
Sanemi: That talentless bitch isn't my brother!
Kanamori: Point proven.
Kanamori: As for myself, I don't really have an issue with Krabs taking the role of leader.
Meg: If we want to make this fair, why don't we vote?
SpongeBob: That's a great idea, Meg! Everyone in favor of Mr. Krabs, say aye!
Papyrus: Everyone, minus Genya and Sanemi, said aye.
SpongeBob: Everyone not in favor of Mr. Krabs, say-
Sanemi: Don't bother, I can tell when I'm beat...
Krabs: Good. Now, seein' as that's in order, let me tell ye about some of the things I'm puttin' in place.
Krabs: When everyone meets up for breakfast in the mornin' and durin' night at supper, I'll be wantin' everyone to check in with this.
Papyrus: Mr. Krabs pulled out a piece of paper.
Krabs: This is the check-in sheet. Like I was sayin' before, every time we meet up for breakfast and supper, ye write your name on this here sheet.
Murrit: >([rite rite rite riiiiiite, kk, i c no u p, i get w#atc#a meme Mista Eugene]
Murrit: >([also who tf still says supper, lmfao]
Krabs: I don't know who this "Lim-Fao" is or what he or she has to do with the conversation, but plenty of people still say supper!
Papyrus: That's the part he focused on???
Payrus: Also, Murrit has gills, so is he really a landlubber?
Krabs: Anyways, back to what I was sayin', the other thing I be wantin' to speak about is this.
Papyrus: Krabs gestured to the whiteboard that the Trolls had brought in yesterday. It was flipped upside down.
Dismas: Oh, cr/\p. Sorry Kr/\bs, we forgot to bring th/\t b/\ck to the Computer L/\b.
Krabs: It ain't a problem Mr. Mersiv. In fact, this particular whiteboard is staying right where it is.
Papyrus: Krabs flips the whiteboard, showing us what was written on it.
Papyrus: On it says "announcements".
Papyrus: Mr. Krabs then took out a marker and eraser and placed it on the whiteboard.
Krabs: I'll be usein' this here board to write out any announcements.
Finnelan: Announcements? I see, in that case, may I see that marker for a moment?
Krabs: Oh? I don't see why not.
Papyrus: Anne walked up to the whiteboard and began writing.
Finnelan: So far during our...shall we call it a "stay" here - we've all mostly gotten along with one another.
Apple Bloom: Which is good! Aah don't think ponies who like each other would...ya know...
Genya: Kill each other?
Apple Bloom: Um...yeah...
Finnelan: Yes, precisely Apple Bloom. But in the face of the current harmony, you all have forgotten about one thing...
Papyrus: Anne finished the word she wrote, before sharply underlining it.
Finnelan: ...There is a wolve among us!
Everyone stared at what Finnelan wrote, Papyrus feeling dread form in the back of his mind.
THE MASTERMIND
Papyrus: The mastermind...
Asakusa: I completely forgot about that...
Dismas: How could you? Th/\t's been one of my biggest concerns since I found out /\bout it.///
Applejack: Because this whole "mastermind" business is a load uh horse apples! It's just some lie Mastodon made up ta make us distrust each other.
Finnelan: Is it? I don't know about any of you, but Mastodon sounded rather serious when he told us.
Pucci: True, but I must agree with Applejack. I do not think this Mastermind is any of us.
SpongeBob: Yeah, none of us could be the Mastermind!
Finnelan: If that is what you want to believe, you may. I don't want to believe it either, but we should still be cautious!
Finnelan: Which is why, from now on, I'll be investigating and attempting to unmask the Mastermind!
Constanze: How do you plan to do this?
Finnelan: I'll admit, I do not know how I'll do this, but I'll be damned if don't do everything in my power to figure this out.
Dismas: I completely /\gree with you, /\nne!///
Dismas: Which is why I think we should-///
*BAM*
Papyrus: The kitchen door was suddenly kicked open. Looking over, we saw...
Peter: HHHhhHeeeEEEAaAAAy P-PaRty peeEEeople!!!!!!!
Applejack: W-what the hay!?
Papyrus: Peter stumbled into the Cafe, completely drunk, though that's obvious even if you don't take the beer bottles he has in his shirt.
Papyrus: Speaking of those bottles, Peter took one out of his shirt and drank nearly half of it.
Peter: W-w-wWe're 'AvIn aa pPpartyyy, yea?
Papyrus: No? What are you talking about?
Sanemi: Don't bother asking, even he doesn't know. I'd call him a dumbass, but he's drunk off of his!
Amity: So, he was drinking in the kitchen this whole time?
Meg: Damn it, who told dad about the alcohol?
Peter: HhHHeyy MAg!!!!
Meg: It's meg.
Peter: S-shuut uuup Meg.
Peter: AnnyWay Mag, yuU's was w-wronG 'bout tHe 'ole thng 'bout uS not 'avin boooze.
Peter: SHout outt t'my pAl s-s-sSsSSsmMUrt fuur tellin meh!!!
Asakusa: Who's Smurt?
Dismas: Th/\t would be Murrit.///
Meg: What the hell Murrit!? Why did you tell him? I knew he would do this!
Murrit: >([#old on t#ere missy, i ain't tell t#at mofo not#in]
Meg: Then why'd he even go near the alcohol fridge? I told him it was filled with vegan food; he would never go near it!
Murrit: >([#e broug#t t#at up, aks#ually. #e wuz like...]
Murrit: >(["informal greetings to t#e individual being spoken to Murrit. t#e individual of w#ic# you are listening to'm wondering, does anyone actually use a certain and definite article of w#ic# is the vegan fridge?" n' i wuz like...]
Murrit: >(["vegan fridge? of w#at is or #as a certain and definite article of w#ic# is the all-mot#erfuck are t#e individual of w#ic# i, anot#er individual, am declaring to talking about?" n' #e wuz like...}
Murrit: >(["#ere, lemmie s#ow ya"]
Papyrus: No Shakespearian version of that?
Murrit: >([so yea#, big guy found the beer #imself. t#at ain't on me]
Kanamori: Then why did he say you told him?
Murrit: >([id-fuckin-k, it'z like Windy Wolverine said: #e's drunk! even #e don't kno what #e be sayin]
Peter: yEAH! Everyyone knNNOws ya sHOUldn'T tRust'a DRunk, ya big 'ol sTUUuUuUPid!!
Stanbot: You realize you're placing doubt onto yourself, yes?
Peter: Ya hOnor, I I I'primise tow'uh sSHpeak daA tRUth!!!!
Genya: Why are we still trying to speak with this bastard? He's a lost cause.
Meg: *Sigh* Can someone help me take him to his room?
Murrit: >([ayo, Dismas is willin to #elp!]
Dismas: Wh/\t? No I-///
Meg: Thanks, Dismas.
Pucci: I'll help as well. I've had to carry my fair share of drunkards into the house of the lord before.
Meg: Alright, each of you take an arm.
Dismas: ...*groan* Fine...///
SpongeBob: Wait I'll help too!
Peter: Oh, we's got'a sPonge??? GooOd cuz i'm'bout t'make'a mess...
Meg: Wait, what do you-
Papyrus: Peter suddenly and without warning threw up.
Papyrus: Thankfully, none got onto the floor.
Papyrus: As all of it was absorbed into SpongeBob...
....................................
SpongeBob: .............aaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Papyrus: SpongeBob ran out of the Cafe screaming bloody murder.
Dismas: Wh/\t the fuck? WH/\T THE FUCK!?///
Spamton: I DON'T BELIEVE [[It's not butter]]!!!
Luz: I-I'm actually gonna be sick, watch out!
Papyrus: Luz rocketed out of her seat towards the kitchen, Amity following her.
Papyrus: Suddenly, Jotaro slowly got up as well.
Jotaro: .................................
Jotaro left without a word, a dark grimace on his face.
Apple Bloom: ...Applejack, can aah sleep in 'yer room tonight...?
Applejack: Aah was just about ta offer ya that...
Sanemi: You're a filthy fucking pig, you know that?
Peter: Aii kNOww yaW ur BUt WHat 'mM I?
Peter: I maWde no'mss!!! Do yaA see aAny b-bArft on'da fluur? I'thHin'nAh!!
Pucci: Let's just get you to your room, Mr. Griffin...
Dismas: /\nd try not to toss your cookie /\g/\in.///
Peter: I Ddn't ewen 'aVe cOokies!!!
Dismas: I know Peter...///
Pucci and Dismas take Peter away.
Meg: ....*Sigh* Sorry about that guys...
Applejack: Ya don't gotta apologize sugar cube. Peter's an adult, he should know better.
Meg: I know. But after this he should get it out of his system, so he shouldn't do somthing like this again.
Krabs: He better not. That numbskull should be fellin' nothin' but shame; acting in a drunken stupor in front of his own flesh and blood durin' a dire situation like this.
Papyrus: Amity came back from the kitchen, grabbing one of the rolling garbage cans.
Amity: Luz needs this. Also, this one is staying in the kitchen from now on. I'm not really sure why no one thought of this sooner.
Papyrus: Amity wheeled the garbage can into the kitchen.
Papyrus: After a bit, the couple came back out.
Applejack: Ya alright sugar cube?
Luz: Got a bit of a leftover taste in my mouth, but it'll pass.
Luz: Still, that was the grossest thing I've every seen...
Murrit: >([ayo, yu got anythin left to say Anna Banana?]
Finnelan: At this point, even if I did, the moments been rather ruined.
Murrit: >([t#en it wood seem its-a my turn for t#e broadway stage of dramatic declarations n' plans]
Papyrus: Oh? Do you have an announcement to make as well?
Murrit: >([u could say t#at, i suppose]
Murrit: >([butt i want w#at i wanna do to be teeny tiny and ant-sized, ya kno]
Murrit: >([so, i'll be recruitin Putrid Pasta Pyrus, Lil' S#ina, AJ, Light Blight, and #er Tomboy Toy.]
Amity: I do hope that this "Tomboy Toy" you're talking about isn't Luz.
Murrit: >([you're gonna #ave to despair, cuz i was. now bitc#es and bros, follow me to t#e cool kid's table]
Luz: Whoa, I've never been invited there!
Papyrus: A cool dude such as myself will be right at home there! But do not fear Luz, I shall help you fit in as well!
Papyrus: We followed Murrit to the cool kid's table.
Papyrus: While the cool kid's table was simply the furthest table from the table everyone else was sitting, it still made me feel special.
Applejack: So, what's this "dramatic declaration" you were talkin' about?
Murrit: >([a great question Country Gal, n' i, in all my vast kindness, s#all answer. ain't i just'a model good samaritan?]
Murrit: >([but to cut t#roug# t#e c#eese and to t#e c#ase, i got a plan]
Murrit: >([to be more specific, i t#ot of a lil' sumt#in sumt#in t#at mig#t get us even t#e tiniest amount of info]
Murrit: >([so tell me, #ow wood y'all feel 'bout givin our gracious #ost w/ t#e most t#e good ol' t#ird degree?]
Genya: The third degree? The fuck are you talking about?
Luz: Are you saying you want to interrogate Mastodon?
Papyrus: Interrogate Mastodon!? Wait...That conversation Murrit had with Dismas...
Dismas: We could get more inform/\tion!///
Murrit: >([i ain't so sure 'bout t#at. bro definitely keeps #is cards close to #is mummified man-titties]
Dismas: I c/\n tell. I pl/\yed poker too, y'know.///
Dismas: E\/en then, I still w/\nn/\ do it. I'm cert/\in if we grill him enough, we might get something out of him!///
Murrit: >([if i'm bein generous, ya mig#t get a lil sliver of info, but t#at's it. w#at do ya t#ink you'd be able to do w/ t#at?]
Dismas: Hell if I know. But it's better th/\n nothing.///
Murrit: >([idk man...i t#ink yu s#ould t#ink 'bout it a wee bit more, k?]
Dismas: I guess...///
Papyrus: This was Dismas' idea. But wasn't Murrit against it?
Applejack: Is that even a good idea, Murrit?
Amity: I must admit I share Applejack's reservations.
Murrit: >([c'mon, w#at's t#e worst #e can do, say no n' fuck off to w#ateva Dr. Claw lookin ass surveillance room #e prob #as?]
Murrit: >([da dude can't #urt us, remember?]
Papyrus: Yes, that's right. It was stated in the rules that Mastodon can't hurt us unless we break any of the rules.
Genya: Don't tell me you believe him!
Papyrus: Don't be mistaken, Genya. I don't trust that fiend in the slightest, but I do think he'll follow the rules.
Luz: I have to agree with Papyrus. If he broke his own rules, that'd make this whole Killing Game null and void!
Applejack Hmmmm...Aah can't say aah thought about it like that, but aah can't say aah don't see the logic in it.
Applejack: A lot uh work went into this whole thing, so aah can't see a reason why Mastodon would mess it all up.
Murrit: >([c, like i said, it's perfectly certainly safe]
Murrit: >([also bars]
Genya: Alright, let's assume that the fucker actually keeps his word. How do you actually plan to get anything out of him?
Murrit: >([t#at? #a#a, well...]
Murrit: >([i don't know]
Amity: Huh?
Murrit: >([fuck u mean "#u#"? i wuz pretty darn clear w/ #ow i vocalized my t#ots n' ideas n' s#it]
Genya: The only thing you vocalized what the fact you don't have a damn clue what you're doing!
Murrit: >([ya rite, i did. butt t#at's w#y i decided to #old t#is lil gat#erin in t#e first place]
Murrit: >([we need to collab, ya kno?]
Papyrus: I see. Yes, that's a good idea Murrit. Two skulls are better than one, and we have six so our chances of thinking of a plan might as well be guaranteed!
Luz: Hmmmm...The math does check out...
Genya: That doesn't guarantee shit, dumbass.
Amity: Maybe not but brainstorming with others can yield better results. With a situation like this, there isn't a right thing to do. All there is is the option that helps us the most.
Applejack: So, let's get ta puttin' our heads together and seein' if we can think uh somethin'.
Amity: Actually, I think I may have an idea already, Applejack.
Applejack: Really? Well, aah guess ya are the smartest outta the ones at this table. But anyhow, shoot; tell us what ya thought uh, Amity.
Amity: My idea is simple. Essentially, we corner him verbally.
Murrit: >([kk, i'm likin w#at you're sayin]
Genya: How the hell do we do that?
Amity: In order to understand that, we need to understand how our adversary conducts himself.
Papyrus: What do you mean?
Amity: I mean to say we should look back on how previous conversations with him went.
Amity: For example, if we ask him about something we can't know about, he'll usually just be forward and tell us he can't say.
Amity: But, what if we pushed the issue? What if we ask him why he can't say? And what if we just kept going?
Amity: Try to use his words against him, even if it doesn't make complete sense to do so. Just keep pushing.
Luz: So, if I'm getting what you're saying, you just want us to annoy him?
Amity: Yes. If we frustrate him, he might get careless with his words.
Papyrus: That could work. The saying "anger makes you stupid" exist for a reason.
Genya: Do you really think that's gonna work? This plan sounds flimsy as fuck to me.
Murrit: >([i c w#ere ya cummin from, but i gotta say i can't t#ink of anyt#in better to do]
Murrit: >([i don't rly care if we don't get t#at muc# info. to be #onest, i don't even expect to get muc#]
Murrit: >([so, Mitty's plan got my support]
Luz: It's got mine!
Applejack: Aah don't really see another way, so aah'll go along with it.
Papyrus: I, The Great Papyrus, fully support this idea!
Genya: ...Fuck it, what's the worst that can happen? I'll do it.
Murrit: >([ig#t ig#t, it seems t#at we've cum to a consensus in speedrunin time]
Amity: So, when do we actually do this?
Murrit: >([we'll strike at dawn! also known as afta dinner!]
Genya: Then just say that, you esoteric tool.
Murrit: >([no]
Murrit: >([so, imma be seein y'all later, seein as everyone else already left]
Papyrus: Turning around, Murrit was mostly right. Mostly everyone, save for a few, had left the Cafe.
Applejack: Alrighty then Murrit. Aah was wantin' to read one uh the cookbooks in the kitchen and see if they got anythin' with apples.
Amity: I myself was planning to read some of the books in the MedBay to better understand humans.
Papyrus: Everyone at the cool kid's table parted ways, myself included.
Papyrus: Now though, I'm not sure what to do with all this free time.
Papyrus: Looks like it's time to hang out with a few of my friends!
FREE TIME
Papyrus walked out into the Exercise Yard, seeing Sanemi training.
Sanemi: Damnit, I should be training with my sword! Mastodon...that bastard! It's his fault it broke. It's his fault I'm even here! I'll find a way to kill him, i swear...
Papyrus: Sanemi! I see that your training. Tell me, do you need a partner? Perhaps we could have a good-natured spar!
Sanemi: A spar? ...I'll admit, I haven't sparred in a while. Alright, I guess you can spar with me. But you better not be shit, i want something of a challenge!
Papyrus: Sanemi and I began sparring. He was certainly a tough opponent, but I was able to hold my own
Papyrus: Suddenly he stepped back, though he didn't drop his fighting stance, so I didn't as well.
Sanemi: Huh, I'll be damned. You're not half bad at this. I didn't peg you as the type that knew how to fight.
Papyrus: I had a great teacher! I assume it's the same for yourself, yes?
Sanemi: Kinda. I learned more advanced stuff after I joined the Corps, but I learned the basics when I was young.
Papyrus: Really? And-
Papyrus: He suddenly launched forward and jabbed. I was able to block it.
Papyrus: -why's that?
Papyrus: I attempted my own string of attacks, but nothing got passed the trained swordsman.
Sanemi: That's my fucking business, not yours.
Papyrus: I should've figured that.
Papyrus: I fainted a jab before kicking, actually managing to get him in the leg, knocking him slightly off balance.
Papyrus: Taking my chance, I put all my weight into a strong punch. Sanemi let himself fall over, my fist clipping his chin.
Papyrus: He quickly stopped his fall with his hands, spinning and kicking wildly around. I dove out of the way and quickly got back up, Sanemi having done the same.
Papyrus: How about I go first then? Tell you about my training.
Sanemi: I don't give a shit.
Papyrus: Great! To start, as I mentioned yesterday during dinner, I always wanted to join the royal guard.
Papyrus: Sanemi rushed forward and tried a kick of his own, though I backed out of the way.
Sanemi: I remember that. You wouldn't shut up about it.
Papyrus: Of course not, it was my dream since I was but baby bones!
Papyrus: I did a simple one-two jab and began circling him before continuing.
Papyrus: Back to my story, when I was younger, I went to the home of the captain of the royal guard: Undyne!
Papyrus: After hearing my aspirations, she agreed to train me. She also taught me to cook.
Sanemi: Did she? Well, she clearly did a shit job at it if that nasty ass spaghetti is anything to go off of.
Papyrus: How dare!
Papyrus: Defending Undyne's honor, I rushed in and swung at Sanemi, only for him to dodge it and strike me in the side
Papyrus: Nyeh!
Papyrus: Thinking fast, I delivered a strong elbow to the back of his head.
Sanemi: Ngh! Damn...
Sanemi: I guess even if she's shit at cooking, she knows a thing or two about fighting.
Papyrus: Indeed! Undyne is the best fighter I know. But that's not to say she's bad at cooking, because she's great at it!
Sanemi: If that's what you wanna tell yourself.
Sanemi: ...But, since you said your piece, I guess I'll say mine. But just a bit; I'm not about to tell you my damn life story.
Papyrus: Nyeh heh heh! It seems even someone as brutish as Sanemi know a bit about common curtesy.
Sanemi: So, when I was younger I...
Papyrus: Sanemi seemed to think about his next words for a moment.
Sanemi: ...Had a tendency to run into pieces of shit. Violent pieces of shit.
Sanemi: So, I had to learn to fight to put those pathetic bitches in their place.
Sanemi: As for during the Corps, I learned from...a comrade.
Papyrus: Oh? Who is this comrade?
Sanemi: ....That doesn't matter. What matters...
Papyrus: Sanemi gets back into his fighting stance.
Sanemi: ...IS CRUSHING YOU!
Papyrus: And just like that, we're back to sparring.
Papyrus: Eventually, our faux battle ends, and we go our separate ways.
Papyrus: While doing battle isn't what most people think of when they think of ways to bond with your friends, I must say that I think it can work.
FREE TIME
Papyrus walked around when he spotted Spamton by the Computer Lab's door.
Spamton: SO MANY [[wrinkle-brained]] IDEAS ARE [[Getting Down and Dirty]] IN MY HEAD, AND YET [[The door is locked with no way out!]] WITH ALL MY POTENTIAL CUSTOMERS OUTSIDE!? [[!#$?]]!
Papyrus: Hello there Spamton. You seem to be thinking hard about something. Might I ask what?
Spamton: AH, [[skele-bro]]! YOU'RE JUST THE [[living non-homosapien specimen]] I NEED!
Papyrus: Spamton began to ramble on and on about deals or something of that nature. I think.
Spamton: HAEAHAEAHAEAHAEAHAEA! DO YOU UNDERSTAND, PAPYRUS!? D0 !?!?!?
Papyrus: Yes, I do!
Papyrus: Somewhat.
Spamton: GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOODGOODGOODGOODGOODGOODGOOD
Spamton: [[s e w e r g r a t e]] I'M HAPPY WE'RE [[one with the worm]]. NOW THEN, I WANT TO TALK BUSINESS.
Spamton: [[scientifically]], I WANT TO TALK ABOUT HOW I [[Shoulda Woulda Coulda]] DO MY BUSI[[Ness]].
Papyrus: What do you mean? How could I help? You're the salesman here, I don't think I'd be very good at thinking of something.
Spamton: DON'T [[kill]] YOURSELF UP. EVEN IF YOU AREN'T A [[wise old coot!] LIKE M3, THROWING [[babies]] AT THE WALL CAN LEAD TO [[Prisonbreak]]THROUGHS.
Papyrus: You certainly would end up in prison for doing that. But I think he means ideas.
Papyrus: Alright then, let me hear some ideas.
Spamton: SPLENDID! NOW [[Here's the facts]] [[Goodby Silverstein]], PEOPLE NOWADAYS ARE [[A miserable little pile of]] [[Folivora]]. THEY JUST WANNA [[kick back and relax]].
Spamton: SO, THE BEST THING TO DO WOULD BE TO PLAY TO THAT. SO, THE QUESTION IS [[hoowitnhnkfndbhinlsnbjd!?!?!?!]]?
Papyrus: Hmmm....That's a good question.
Papyrus: Assuming I'm understanding the question correctly.
Papyrus: But if I am, we're advertising to lazy people. And I know lazy!
Papyrus: So, here's the big question: what's something that a lot of lazy people may do...?
Papyrus: Ah!
Papyrus: Tell me Spamton, what's something a lot of lazy people do?
Spamton: [[die]].
Papyrus: They order food! They don't want to go hungry, but they also don't want to make food themselves or go to a restaurant.
Spamton: [[Oui...hoh hoh hoh...oui!]] YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!
Spamton: I THINK I ALREADY [[no no no no no nooooo!]] WHAT YOU'RE GONNA SAY. I SHOULD PUT [[stupid intrusive ads...]] ON THE BOXS AND OR BAGS THAT THE [[crap!]] COMES IN. R I G H T? R I G H T!?
Papyrus: That could work. But how would you be able to do that?
Spamton: NOTHING A BIT OF [[illegality]] CAN'T SOLVE!
Papyrus: I...don't think that be the best idea.
Spamton: PAPYRUS, SOMETIMES WHEN IT COMES TO [[O.S.H.A.]] YOU HAVE TO [[violation]] IF YOU WANT TO [[kill that filthy]] [[d u m p s t e r]].
Papyrus: I mean...sure you may have to do what's necessary at times for the sake of success, at the same time you should still make sure you don't take things too far-
Spamton: HAEAHAEAHAEAHAEAHAEAHAEAHAEAHAEAHAEAHAEAHAEAHAEAHAEAHAEAHAEA!
Spamton: YOU KNOW [[Hwhat]] I LIKE ABOUT YOU [[bEsT fRiEnD]]? YOU REMIND ME OF...W3LL, [[M. E.]]. ME FROM BEFORE I GOT [[bigger and better than ever]].
Spamton: YOU LET [[black and white]] HOLD YOU BACK. YOU'RE JUST NOT SEEING THE [[ways of the darkness]] AND ITS [[dobonhonkeros]].
Spamton: STILL LACKING [['Merica]] AND NOT EVEN AWARE OF [[Hyperlink Blocked]].
Papyrus: Well, while it may be slightly easier, you could get in trouble. Even if it's a bit hard, with enough effort, you can do just about anything the proper way.
Spamton: ............................
Papyrus: Once again, Spamton's eyes went pitch black. I've noticed that's happened a few times here and there, though I don't know what it means. Is he upset?
Spamton: ...HA HA HA! HA! WELL, HOW ABOUT WE [[stop]]? ULTIMATELY, I GOT WHAT I NEEDED, SO [[a thousand]] [[thank yoooou!]].
Papyrus: Ah, no problem my friend!
Papyrus: And without word, Spamton left.
Papyrus: Oh dear, did I somehow touch a nerve? I hope he isn't mad.
Papyrus: But either way, I felt like I got closer with him, or got to know him a bit better at the very least...
FREE TIME
Papyrus walked into the kitchen, seeing Anne placing a tea kettle on the stove.
Finnelan: Some tea should help me think...
Papyrus: Hello Anne. I see you're making some tea.
Finnelan: Yes, it does wonders for me. Would you like some as well?
Papyrus: I accepted her offer and she began making our tea.
Papyrus: We stood quietly while we waited for the tea to warm up.
Papyrus: Hmmm...I should make some conversation.
Papyrus: So, Anne, when did you start drinking...tea?
Papyrus: ...Not my strongest conversation starter but I'll try and roll with it.
Finnelan: When? Well, I obviously don't recall the exact moment I started drinking it. I've done so for as long as I can remember.
Finnelan: My mother loved the stuff. She had an entire shelf dedicated to different flavors and knew just about every blend. I still remember the smell of the tea shop we went to.
Finnelan: But all this talk of tea reminds me of something...rather ridiculous that happened back when I attended Luna Nova.
Papyrus: Oooh, a school story? Do tell!
Finnelan: Hmmm...I suppose there's no harm in it. For some context, Luna Nova students are grouped up in teams of three. I myself was in the Violet Team, along with Nelson and Pisces, fellow witches who would also later become teachers alongside me.
Finnelan: But onto the actual story, Nelson was and still is the exact opposite of me. Rambunctious, energetic, uncaring for doing things properly and for tradition, and all around a bit of a troublemaker.
Finnelan: Not to say she was a bad student, she did well, even if she had some exasperating habits, such as falling asleep during class or blowing off doing homework to practice broom flying.
Finnelan: ...Actually, some of her old habits remind me of certain students I have now...
Papyrus: I suppose every school will have its more boisterous.
Finnelan: But back to the story, one day we were talking about our choice of beverages. I personally thought she should try something other than pop.
Finnelan: So, I made a deal with her; I would drink her soda and she, my tea.
Finnelan: I drank it and...It was flat.
Papyrus: Oh. That's...rather anticlimactic.
Finnelan: I wish. In the next moment, I began floating! Turns out the bottle she grabbed was one she experimented on with some potions to make her feel lighter when she drank it.
Papyrus: Well, if that was the goal, it technically worked.
Finnelan: Perhaps. But it doesn't change the fact that for the rest of the school day, I had to either be tied to Nelson or a rock. At one point during lunch, the rope holding me got loose and I got stuck on the ceiling.
Finnelan: The professors had to fly up and get me down. It was the most I was embarrassed in my life.
Finnelan: And to top it off, Nelson never tried the tea.
Papyrus: I held back a small laugh.
Papyrus: On the bright side, it sounds like a memory you can look back and laugh at.
Finnelan: ...Yes. Yes, it is. I have many memories such as that, most of which involve Nelson.
Finnelan: I have other stories as well. Some from my school days and others during my years of teaching. A personal favorite of mine would be the time a friend of mine, Badcock, tried to clone herself in order to go to a release of this book series she liked, Night something or another...
Papyrus: Anne counted reminiscing and sharing stories with me before the kettle whistled. Anne poured me and herself some tea.
Papyrus: We enjoyed our drinks, making casual conversation before I finished.
Papyrus: Ah, that was quite good. Thank you, Anne.
Finnelan: No, I must thank you Papyrus. You don't know how much it means for a lady my age to simply enjoy some tea and share stories of her youth.
Papyrus: Of course. I'm always happy to bond with a friend.
Papyrus: After a bit more conversation, we parted ways.
Papyrus: I'm happy to have gotten closer to the professor.
After Papyrus hung out with some of his friends, he realized it was almost time for dinner.
Papyrus: Time truly does fly when you're having fun. I better head to the Cafe.
When Papyrus entered the Cafe, SpongeBob called to him.
SpongeBob: Hey Papyrus, come over here!
Papyrus: I approached SpongeBob, who was next to the whiteboard Krabs had placed. On the storage bar was the check-in sheet and a pen.
Papyrus: SpongeBob! Good to see you doing well. How are you feeling after...you know.
SpongeBob: Oh, I'm swell now! I wasn't at first but after a...long long bath and shower, I was back in top shape.
SpongeBob: But anyway, I just wanted to remind whoever came first to check in.
Papyrus: Yes, of course.
Papyrus: I picked the sheet up and pressed it against the board, writing my name.
Papyrus: I handed SpongeBob the sheet and he did the same.
SpongeBob: Alright, I'm gonna get started on cooking.
Papyrus: SpongeBob entered the kitchen while I got seated.
Papyrus: Others began to come into the Cafe and sign in. Sanemi and Applejack entered the kitchen, likely to help SpongeBob cook.
Papyrus: As I sat and made some conversation, I noticed Murrit looking toward me.
Papyrus: She let his shade slide down just enough to allow me to see their eyes. They raised their eyebrows twice and winked. It's clear what he was nonverbally saying.
Papyrus: I gave my own wink and a grin. Murrit returned with her own grin.
Papyrus: By the time the food was served, everyone, besides Peter, was at the table. Mr. Krabs got up and got the check-in sheet.
Krabs: Hmmmm, it's lookin' like almost everyone's here. Meg, do ye know where ye'r drunkard pops is?
Meg: The last time I checked, he was still in his room, though I did leave a note under his door.
Krabs: That so? Could ye go-
Papyrus: Mr. Krabs stopped in his verbal tracks when the door was pushed open, Peter power walking in and getting to his seat.
Peter: Sorry, sorry, I'm here now, sorry.
Krabs: Well well well, good to see ye sober again Griffin.
Kanamori: Mind if I ask what you were thinking? You discover we have alcohol, and your first instinct is to get completely sloshed?
Peter: First of all, who the hell says sloshed anymore?
Peter: Second of all...*sigh* you're right, that was a crappy thing to do. I go overexcited. I had one and then I wanted another and another and before I knew it I finished my, what, eighth beer?
Asakusa: How many drinks did you have anyway?
Meg: twenty-one.
Peter: How do you know that?
Meg: Someone had to clean up.
Peter: Oh. Sorry Meg.
Peter: And since I'm apologizing; SpongeBob, I'm real sorry about what happened, pal.
SpongeBob: It's fine Peter; water under the bridge. On the bright side, at least there was no mass.
Peter: I still feel bad pal. So, you know what? The next time you ever need to throw up, find me and let her rip!
SpongeBob: Um...I'll definitely remember that.
Apple Bloom: Can we not talk about barfin' on others before we eat?
Papyrus: I'd have to agree.
Krabs: Hold on lass, we're still missin' someone.
Amity: We are?
Papyrus: I looked around, but it seemed that everyone was present.
Stanbot: It seems you've miscounted, Mr. Krabs.
Sanemi: Yeah, everyone's here.
Krabs: Really? Because I'm not seein' Shinazugawa's name on this here sheet. The angry one, not Genya.
Kanamori: Aren't they both angry people? Sure, vastly different levels, but same difference.
Sanemi: Shut it. Also, I'm clearly here, so what the hell are you even saying?
Krabs: Aw well, I guess he ain't here.
Sanemi: What the fuck are you talking about!?
Jotaro: Krabs, can you pass the freakin' sheet?
Krabs: Oh, sure. Here ye go.
Papyrus: The sheet was passed to Jotaro, who put it in front of Sanemi.
Jotaro: Sign it.
Sanemi: What? Why the fuck should I? I'm right here!
Papyrus: Jotaro's face hardens before he lifts himself up, towering over Sanemi.
Jotaro: Sign. The damn. Paper.
Papyrus: For a few moments, the two were in a heated staring match.
Papyrus: Sanemi scoffed before taking the sheet. He pulled out his sword and carefully carved into the paper with the broken blade.
Sanemi: There. Happy?
Papyrus: He handed Jotaro the sheet. It seems he carved his name into the paper.
Jotaro: That's one way to do it, I guess.
Papyrus: Jotaro handed Krabs the sheet back.
Krabs: Ah, Shinazugawa! Good to see that ye made it!
Sanemi: Yeah yeah, whatever. Can we just fucking eat already? This stupid charade's gone on long enough and it's pissing me off.
Papyrus: Just about everything sets you off.
Finnelan: It only happened because you couldn't do something as simple as signing a sheet of paper.
Sanemi: I forgot about it, bite me! Besides, what's even the point of doing it?
Pucci: To ensure we're all here, obviously.
Sanemi: Krabs has eyes, doesn't he? All he has to do is take a damn look!
Constanze: Why are you making this an issue? It's just a small safety precaution.
Sanemi: One that I find idiotic.
Krabs: Well, if ye're havin' that big of an issue with it, write a note of complaint. I promise to read it.
SpongeBob: People can do that? Oh, I have an idea, Sanemi! Why don't you leave it on the whi-
Sanemi: I'm not writing a fucking note! Can we just eat!?
Papyrus: I am getting a bit hungry.
Pucci: As am I Papyrus. Let's calm down and enjoy the meal.
Papyrus: We began eating.
Papyrus: The rest of dinner went smoothly.
Peter: ...Wow, that was delicious!
Luz: The foods always good.
Murrit: >([yea#, t#anx for t#e food, Bob]
Papyrus: Murrit got up and popped his back.
Murrit: >([ig#t, imma use t#e lil trolls room in t#e auditorium n' t#en #ead off to dreamland]
Dismas: /\lright, night, I guess.///
Papyrus: Murrit left the Cafe.
Papyrus: I shared a look with Applejack, Genya, Amity, and Luz.
Papyrus: It seems it's time. I got up from my seat.
Papyrus: I'll be making my leave now as well! To do...important things! Important and great things! In my room!
Kanamori: ...Okay?
Papyrus: Indeed! Goodbye!
Papyrus: The Great Papyrus, master of deception.
Papyrus: I waited, watching as the others exited. Genya looked at me with a displeased sneer.
Genya: Way to totally not look suspicious, you lanky dumbass.
Applejack: Yeah, ya could uh made 'yerself act more casual like. Ya overacted more than an opossum caught playin' possum.
Papyrus: S-sorry...
Luz: Come on guys, Pap's terrible acting skills don't matter right now.
Papyrus: They weren't that bad...
Amity: Luz is right. Now is the time for our plan to be sprung into action.
Papyrus: Quite right! Come now, my friends, Murrit is waiting.
Papyrus: And so is Mastodon...!
Papyrus: We head into the Auditorium. I can't help but suppress a shiver as I do, the memory of my last visit to the area replaying in my mind.
Papyrus: Sitting on the stage's edge was Murrit, kicking their feet.
Murrit: >([a#, good to see none of ya chickened out]
Genya: Like hell I would. So, we doing this shit or not?
Murrit: >([#ell's yea# bro. now t#en...]
Papyrus: She jumps off the stage and turns to it with a smirk.
Murrit: >([...lets jam!]
Murrit: >([yo! Mastodon! come on out ya massive bitc#!]
Applejack: We know ya hear us!
Mastodon: That I do...
Papyrus: We all looked up in surprise as Mastodon parted the curtains and strutted to the edge of the stage, looking down at us.
Mastodon: Hello again, my tragic actors.
Luz: We're you...watching us the whole time?
Mastodon: I'm always watching you, Dame Noceda. But if you meant to say if I was waiting behind the curtain for you lot, then yes, I was.
Papyrus: So, he was aware of us. Of course, he was.
Mastodon: So, shall we start this tête-à-tête?
Amity: Indeed, we shall. Now let's make one thing clear, you will tell us what we want to know.
Mastodon: Dame Blight, you know that I'm more than happy to answer any questions. But as I've also explained, there is certain questions I simply cannot answer.
Genya: Yeah, and I don't give a shit.
Genya: So, first question; why the fuck are we here, and what's the fucking point of this goddamn Killing Game?
Mastodon: That's two questions.
Genya: Shut up and answer!
Mastodon: Alright alright. As I've said before, I've brought you to my humble abode to play the Killing Game.
Mastodon: As for the other, I cannot reveal that.
Murrit: >([i figured t#at. so i've been t#inkin 'bout it n' puttin some pieces toget#er]
Murrit: >([in ot#er words, a very lil bird told me t#at to turn off magic like you've bin doin, ya need ya own kinda magic]
Mastodon: ...Indeed. That is correct, my good Turkin.
Murrit: >([now t#at, in my wicked brain matter at least, raises quite t#e fuckton of questions, ya see?]
Luz: Me too. It's pretty clear that you, and whoever you're working with, have a good understanding of magic from The Boiling Isles and from the witch's world.
Applejack: Aah may not know as much about magic like Twi does, but aah'm startin' ta get a pretty good picture in mah head.
Mastodon: Whatever picture you may have, it is yours to visualize. I hate to shatter your Sherlockesque illusion, but you have nothing concrete. You may as well be trying to find your way out of a maze of mirrors during a moonless stygian midnight.
Papyrus: Oh? You're sounding somewhat agitated there, Mr. fancy words. Have we struck a nerve?
Mastodon: Not at all, Sir Papyrus. Now, is there anything else any of you wish to say?
Papyrus: Actually, I am curious about something...
Papyrus: Tell me, Mastodon, does the Sleuth app in the handbook have something to do with the investigations we're meant to do in the event of a...murder?
Mastodon: Perhaps. Perhaps not. I wouldn't want to ruin that surprise, small as it may be.
Mastodon: Your prediction is appreciated, however. A good mystery in a story should always keep one guessing.
Applejack: That's another question aah had. Ya keep sayin' stuff like "actors", "story", and "show" and all that type uh stuff.
Applejack: 'Yer talkin' about all this like it's some kind uh play or somthin'!
Papyrus: He even calls himself "the director".
Genya: Are you looking down on us, you bastard!? Do you think you're above us and that this sick shit is some show for your fucking entertainment!?
Mastodon: Now Sir Shinazugawa, I do not think that I'm above you tragic actors...
Mastodon: ...I quite simply am above you all. I'm the director for a reason, you know.
Luz: How can you say that!? These are life's you're playing with!
Mastodon: Bah, you wouldn't understand. You'd likely even call me an egotistical liar.
Papyrus: Calling yourself above us doesn't really disprove the egotistical part very much, does it?
Genya: Getting back to something we were talking about before; your group clearly has some ties to magic and all that bullshit.
Genya: If you ask me, that means it's a hell of a lot closer to some of the more magic worlds!
Mastodon: Again, you are allowed to think what you wish. I confirm nothing.
Mastodon: Now, are you quite done yet? I'll admit, this is getting tiresome.
Papyrus: No! He can't leave! We've barely gotten anything out of him!
Murrit: >([w#oa w#oa w#oa, #old on t#ere Mr. Mummy! we got plenty of time before nig#ttime, ya know]
Mastodon: That is true, but as I said, this is getting tiresome.
Applejack: Then how about one more question aah got.
Mastodon: One more? Hmmmm...alright, just one more.
Applejack: Alright. Aah just gotta know...
Applejack: ...Why are ya so sure this Killin' Game will work? What makes ya think that we'll actually kill each other...?
Mastodon: Because you all have more than enough motivation to do so.
Mastodon: You all crave freedom. You're all fearful. And when primitives such as yourselves are fearful, your minds go into fight or flight. And when that happens...
Mastodon: ...The ancient unshakable instinct for survival takes hold. And when someone truly wants to survive...
Mastodon: ...Then nothing is out of character!
Papyrus: Primitives? Instincts!? The nerve of this...fiend...!
Papyrus: What do you take us for, animals!?
Mastodon: The Apple sisters are horses, Sir Krabs and SquarePants are sea creatures, and good Turkin is semiaquatic.
Murrit: >([t#at don't make me an animal, ya douc#ewaffle]
Mastodon: Ah, I suppose you're not wrong. I apologize, my good Turkin.
Mastodon: And as for you Sir Papyrus, I was simply stating a fact.
Mastodon: One that is simply going to soon become truer.
Amity: Wh-what? What do you mean by that?
Mastodon: What I mean to say is I myself I'm rather excited for the days to come.
Genya: Huh!? Why's that!? What the hell's gonna happen!?
Amity: Tell us this instant!
Mastodon: And ruin the surprise? No, I think not.
Papyrus: What could possibly make us desperate enough to kill!?
Mastodon: You'll have to wait and find out.
Mastodon: Now, I leave you all with this...
Mastodon: Be prepared.
And without another word, the lights turned off and when they returned, the director of the sick game vanished.
Genya: Alright, what the hell was he talking about!?
Amity: Don't act like we know!
Papyrus: Well, whatever it was he was talking about, I think we can all agree that it is nothing good.
Papyrus: We must tell everyone!
Murrit: >([i c w#ere u cumin from Puzzle Pap, but i gotta disagree]
Luz: What do you mean Murrit?
Murrit: >([i'm sayin sumt#in t#at ya not gonna like]
Murrit: >([butt Don Masto may or may not be kinda rig#t]
Applejack: What?!
Papyrus: How could you agree with anything that fiend says!?
Murrit: >([cuz its true. w#en peeps get scared and desperate, t#ey start wildin]
Murrit: >([and if we tell our #omies 'bout some unknown t#reat, t#ey finna lose t#eir collective breakfast, lunc#, dinner, and dessert in fecal form wit# maximum s#oot power]
Murrit: >([w#ic# is w#y me myself and i t#inks t#at we gotta keep t#is s#it to ourselves for rig#t now]
Applejack: Excuse me!? Are ya tellin' us ta lie ta everyone else!?
Murrit: >([na#, i'm just sayin to not say not#in to nobody]
Luz: But we should warn everyone about this!
Murrit: >(['bout w#at? "yo yo yo guys! Mastodon said some t#reatin s#it and somet#in bads gonna be goin down. w#at? all-mot#erfuck if we know!"]
Murrit: >([t#e only t#ing t#ats gonna c#ange is t#at we gon be clueless toget#er like a big #appy group of #eadless peckbeast!]
Genya: We're all already clueless! What's one more damn thing to not know shit about?
Murrit: >([listen i'm not sayin to straig#t up neva tell 'em, im sayin' not to tell t#em for now]
Murrit: >([in t#e meantime we keep our peepers open and try to see if anyt#in unscrupulous like is #appenin and we can grill t#at mummified mf some more]
Amity: I don't think interrogating him more would work, Murrit. He didn't even have to show himself just now if he didn't want to.
Murrit: >([ya gotta trust me #ere, Bug-Blig#t. i can figure t#is r#ombicosidodeca#edron of bulls#it out]
Papyrus: There is no "I" in this situation, Murrit! If we are to overcome the tribulations we all face now, we must be a "we"!
Luz: And "we" sorta rhymes with "team"!
Papyrus: And there's no "I" in "team"!
Papyrus: I love it when a good speech comes together!
Murrit: >([boi, i ain't tryin' to #ear t#at ol "teamwork makes t#e dream work!" verbal spunk!]
Murrit: >([let's compromise #ere, k? if my brainc#ild don't go now#ere, you #ave my most byzantine word t#at you can say ya own words]
Murrit: >([#ow 'bout t#at? ya sold? i know Outta-T#e-Can-And-Pan-Spam-Man is t#e salesman #ere, but i #ave my own deal makin EXP 2]
Applejack: ...Fine. aah'm willin' ta compromise with ya.
Luz: I...guess I can agree to that.
Amity: Fine, but I fully expect you to keep your "most byzantine word".
Papyrus: I suppose there's nothing wrong with a compromise.
Genya: ...Tch! Whatever...
Murrit: >(['ig#t, so we's all in agreement]
Murrit: >([so just go 'bout yo average nig#ttime biz, act like not#in #appened, and go t#e fuck to triple zzzleep]
Papyrus: Without argument, we left the Auditorium.
Papyrus: As Murrit instructed, we went about our business until...
*BRING BRING BRING BRING...TWING*
Mastodon: It seems that the night is ready to embrace us in its comforting darkness once more. The man in the moon whistles a tune that lulls all to sleep. Goodnight, and sweet dreams, my tragic actors.
Papyrus: The day is now over.
Papyrus: As everyone heads to the Dorms, I can't help but take a look at Murrit, Applejack, Luz, Amity, and Genya.
Krabs: Let's give it up for the end of our second day!
Asakusa: Jeez, it's only been two days?
Luz: I get what you mean, Midori. It feels like every day goes soooooo slow already.
Meg: It makes sense. There's barely anything to do around here.
Krabs: Sometimes in life, ye just gotta soldier on, lass.
Papyrus: I can agree with that sentiment.
Papyrus: I entered my room, got into the sleepwear, and got into my bed
Papyrus: There's so many thoughts in my head, swimming around like a frightened school of fish
Papyrus: Our future here, the mysteries surrounding this strange "humble abode", and what Mastodon said...
Papyrus: What could possibly convince anyone to kill?
Papyrus: ......
Papyrus: ...No, don't think like that Papyrus.
Papyrus: I should really head to sleep now. Tomorrow waits for no one.
Papyrus: Taking a deep breath, I let myself relax and fall asleep...