Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Dabi doesn’t like dressing up. Even on an occasion like now, he’s doing it minimally; A sweater—no pockets or hoods in sight—with the sleeves pushed up over his elbows for maximum casual, and a pair of jeans without a single tear or hole in sight. Really, the testament to his attempt is that he’s not wearing his dirty old boots for once. Instead, there’s a new pair of shoes adorning his feet. They were only half bought for this particular outfit on this particular day; He needed them, anyway, and had refused to cave up until this point.

The top of the cake, though, is that the last of the black remnants in his hair are gone. The sides are a little shorter than he likes, giving him a little bit of an undercut, but the top is still reasonably shaggy thanks to how fucking long it had been to begin with, always in his fucking face.

This is the sight that Hawks is greeted with when Dabi pushes the front door open, a few bags hanging off of his arms in evidence of today’s unusual shopping trip. “M’home!” He calls out, wiping his shoes off on the mat and toeing them off only to immediately kick them off his feet carelessly.

-

He just so happens to open the door as Hawks is crossing the living room. He's got Ai in one arm and his phone in the other as he arranges for their chick's next checkup. He glances up from his juggle when he hears the door, doing a double take at the man standing in his entryway.

Maybe his jaw drops a little, because Hawks goes silent. So silent that Doc's assistant on the other end of the phone asks if he's alright. In his arms, Ai bounces excitedly, trilling the little bird call he always makes when he sees Touya.

"I'll call you back." Hawks hurriedly tells the man, hanging up and sending his phone off with a feather to free up his other hand. Ai's bouncing is gonna turn him into a little chick pancake if he manages to drop himself out of the avian's hand.

He shushes the tyke as he walks up to his mate, gaze flicking between Touya and his excited chick.

"Hey." If he's kind of obvious in the way he looks Touya up and down, it's not completely on purpose. "You look good, hot stuff." He toes up to give the man a quick, greeting kiss. "What's the occasion, love?"

-

Ai trills at him the moment he sees him, and by now, the arsonist is very aware of the unique little sound. He waves at their chick, that stupid finger-wave that he’s always possessed to do whenever he sees his chubby little face.

Touya would be lying if he claimed his lover’s reaction didn’t give him a massive confident boost. He’d felt a little ridiculous a moment ago; Like a monkey in a damn costume. He’s grinning by the time Hawks is crossing the room towards him, dragging his attention away from Ai to meet his lover’s kiss. “Gotta be an occasion to wanna look good for you?” He teased, feigning offense as he leans down to kiss the top of Ai’s head.

“Yeah, okay. There’s an occasion besides needing something disgustingly normal to wear.” He admits, tossing the bags onto the end table where the keys and other such things usually go. “Got you something.”

-

"You always look good for me," Hawks scoffs, a hand curling in his sweater to drag him down for another kiss, because maybe he really likes this look on Touya. "You just look especially good today."

He finally releases his mate to let him put down his bags and shifts Ai from one hip to the other. He's maybe a little over excited to see Touya back. He blames his instincts for disliking when the man is gone.

"Doesn't look normal on you." Hawks smirks at his mate. "Looks hot, sweet thing."

Got you something.

"Yeah? What'd you get?" He's distracted by their chick who chooses that exact moment to start enthusiastically beating his tiny wings. The bags Touya put down make a rustling racket from the draft which only seems to spur Ai on.

-

Looks hot, sweet thing.

Dabi rolls his eyes, a stupid grin on his face. “Thought I was givin’ off dad energy. You would like that, wouldn’t you?” He teases, going in for another kiss right as Ai starts to make a little ruckus. Touya snorts and steals the kiss anyway, a peck to his mouth while he’s distracted before he’s plucking Ai out of Hawks’ arms and blowing a raspberry to his cheek obnoxiously. “What did I tell you about bein’ a little cockblock, huh? Little fuckin’ terror. You wanna help me give daddy a gift?”

-

He surrenders their chick in exchange for a kiss, a little disappointed when he's not invited into the hug. Except it always warms him to see Touya holding Ai like this, interacting with him so gently and lovingly. Maybe he pins too much on it, he knows Touya's still trying. But it looks easier every day. And whether he's trying or smitten, he's being a good dad in Hawks' eyes. It's in the smile on Ai's face. His eager chirps when he sees the man. The gentle way his mate takes their chick into his arms.

Ah hell, he's getting emotional. He's been emotional ever since his mom came around.

You wanna help me give daddy a gift?

Ai has no idea what he's on about, but he quickly resumes his excited flapping, now accompanied by a litany of birdsong. Hawks swears he heard that little whistle Touya taught him, demanding affection.

-

Touya recognizes the little whistle instantly. Mainly because it’s the only bird sound he can muster. Those chirps don’t come easy to someone without a bird quirk. “Stinker. That’s supposed to be his sound, not mine.” It’s not like he can tell him no, though, so he leans in to kiss a chubby little cheek once. And then a second for good measure. And then a third because his flappy little wings are too fucking cute.

Then he’s holding the chick up for Hawks to kiss. It is his sound, after all. “Here, take ‘im.” Because he’ll need both hands. And Ai is the perfect distraction while Touya pays his pockets down.

-

The avian huffs a laugh, chest full to see his mate and his chick interacting with such ease. Hawks takes the tyke, both hands under his arms so he can flap till his little heart is content. He showers his chick with a rain of affectionate little kisses, stretching out his own wings in the entryway. It only encourages their little one, who makes a valiant effort to try and take off right out of Hawks' arms.

-

Touya fishes the little box he’s been holding onto out of his pocket and cups his hands around it. He glances up at the continuous commotion, and he can feel his own breath hitch a bit.

Hawks has always been good with Ai, it’s nothing new. But ever since that brief mention of having another chick, it’s been making him all fucky to see him with their chick like that, all fuckin’ playful and loving and cute.

He squeezes the box in his hands, a subtle little smile crossing his features. “I love you.” He mumbles, a little shyly.

-

Hawks grins at their chick, distracted by his squirming.

"Love you too, hot stuff." He glances at his mate, smile turning wider at the soft look on his face. "So much, Touy." Ai in his hands makes the 'Touya' chirp again, craning over his tiny shoulder to be part of the conversation. Hawks turns him around, careful not to pin his ever-moving wings, so he can face Touya. They both get a string of bird calls in response. "You okay, hot stuff?"

-

“Yeah.” He reassures him quickly, the smile widening into a little grin. “Makin’ me feel some kinda way, pretty bird. Quit fuckin’ with my chest when I’m tryin’ to give you shit.” He bitches half-heartedly.

“Here, dove, can you help me open this?” It’s all for show, of course. Ai is more likely to bring the box to his mouth and chew on it then successfully open the thing. Still, he shoots Hawks a grin before ‘handing’ the box to Ai in one hand, and using his other to guide the tot’s pudgy little hand to open it for him.

And just before he can try to grab it and stick it into his mouth, he plucks the ring out, leaving the box in Ai’s not-so-capable hands. “Need your left hand, sweetheart.”

-

He gives Touya a grin at the complaint. It's good to know he's not the only one who loves seeing his mate with their chick.

Hawks watches with interest as Touya hands Ai a little box, raising an eyebrow when he baby talks their chick. That is until the box opens, revealing something very, very shiny. Hawks' head tilts, more than a little transfixed by it before he blinks.

Need your left hand, sweetheart.

"My-?" He tears his gaze away from the shiny thing to see his mate watching him expectantly. "Uh- yeah." Hawks juggles their chick onto his opposite hips and gives Touya his hand, still a little dumb.

-

Touya can see the exact moment Hawks’ head switches to bird mode after having gotten a glimpse of the shiny ring. It’s probably the only reason he hasn’t figured out what Touya’s doing right now. As soon as Hawks’ hand is offered, he’s taking it in his and sliding a ring onto his finger.

He’d figured that, since his was so sappy, he would make Hawks’ equally so. The band is a shiny white gold with a little sapphire encrusted into it, as light as the avian’s two favorite pairs of eyes.

It fits, which is a relief, and Touya’s shoulders visibly sag—when has they even tensed? “It ain’t perfect. Still got a few little bumps. Didn’t know how to round it out with my fingers without it curving.” He rambles a bit, bringing his hand up to rub the back of his neck. “But I tried. Have all the time in the world to fix it up perfect, yeah?”

-

He watches the ring slide on. The fit is perfect, like it's always been there. Always meant to be there. Hawks looks up at his mate, golden a little round.

Didn't know how to round it out with my fingers without it curving.

"You made this?" He glances between the ring and his mate. "For me?" Ah hell. He thinks his heart stopped. Ai burbles happily on his arm, making his demanding little kiss-whistle. Hawks still can't wrap his head around it. "This is-?"

-

“Well- yeah.” Touya gives him a sheepish grin. “Can’t be the only one with a wedding band, right?”

That look on his lover’s face is fucking killing him. He just wants to pepper it in kisses but instead, his mouth is running and he’s nervous rambling. “Was gonna steal one but I thought- You’d be real disappointed if I stole your wedding ring. Had to jump through some hoops an’ shit, but managed to borrow enough— actually borrow, gonna have payments an’ everything—for the raw materials. Metal’s pretty easy to shape when you get it hot enough an’ once you get the hang of it and….”

-

His bottom lip quivers a moment, Ai bouncing excitedly, demanding kisses with his favorite little whistle. Hawks gives them to him, gaze on his mate while he tries to put it all together.

Can't be the only one with a wedding band, right?

"Yeah." he breathes, glancing back down at it. It sparkles impossibly on his finger. He looks back up. The blue on his finger is a dead ringer for the color of his mate's eyes. "Yeah." Payments? How's he gonna make payments? "Touy- it's beautiful. I had no idea you could-" Ah hell. He gives his mate a beautific smile. "Thank you. I love it, Touy."

-

I had no idea you could-

Touya breathes out a laugh. “Neither did I. Just kinda winged it. Took a few tries to get it right.” Maybe more than a few. He’d had to take it somewhere private multiple times to try again, and again, and again for every time he got frustrated with how it wouldn’t quite shape the way he wanted to.x he actually did have to steal one of those measurement-rings for reference. He’ll leave that part out, though.

He steps in closer, crowding his little family so he can steal a kiss from Hawks. The disgruntled chick between them can be patient.

“Love you.” He mumbles the moment he parts from the kiss. “Sorry it took so fuckin’ long.”

-

He can only imagine Touya trying again and again, and how frustrated his capable mate probably got while learning.

Hawks looks up at him, catching his kiss square on the mouth.

"I love you, too." he breathes when they part. "I would've waited forever, Touy. The ring- you're what matters."

-

“Wouldn’t have had a choice, would you?” He teases, kissing him again. “Mate for life and all that. You’re fuckin’ stuck with me and now the world gets to know it.”

Ai lets out a disgruntled sound, and Dabi relents, pulling away from Hawks to drop a kiss into his head. “Fuck, he’s almost as needy as you.”

-

"Mate for life." he agrees with a happy smile, feathers fluffing. "You're stuck with me." Hawks teases.

He watches with a smile as Touya drops kisses on their chick and can't help noticing the identical way Ai's feathers fluff, just like the avian's. Hawks leans in to snuggle them both, alternating kisses between his mate and his chick.

-

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” He promises, nuzzling into Hawks’ cheek. “But that brings us to the next thing. ‘Cause… We got a few things to talk about.”

Touya straightens up and reaches behind himself, digging through his back pocket for something crinkly. He holds it up in front of Hawks’ face, giving him a moment to realize what the empty packet of contraceptives means. “We’re overdue for this conversation, yeah? How soon do you wanna have another? ‘Cause— Well, we gotta figure out a timeline here, right?”

-

He's busy kissing Ai's adorable little cheeks when Touya steps back to fumble for something else. He has no idea what it could possibly be, glancing up with that smile still on his face-

We're overdue for this conversation, yeah?

Hawks' smile vanishes, golden going round. "You— we— what?" That's his birth control isn't it? But they- they haven't talked about this since the bar. How soon? He doesn't even know if they should.

-

Hawks’ gorgeous fucking smile vanishes in an instant, and Touya frowns, dropping his arm with the offending packaging at his side. “What—? I thought—? Didn’t you? We don’t have to, if you changed your mind.” Would Hawks have changed his mind so quickly? “I thought— I got to the end of this month’s, so I though we could decide if we wanna do it soon or wait.”

-

Ah crap- his mate immediately looks upset and Hawks rushes to soothe him. Ai picks that exact moment to start grabbing at his too-close wing, yanking painfully on the brightly colored feather. "Touy- ow- No. Ai- no, baby feathers. Let go. Please? It hurts." He tries to pull them away, attention split between his chick and his mate.

"I did. I mean- I do- I mean- Ai- honey, please? Touy- can we-? We've gotta talk about this, yeah?"

-

Hawks’ face scrunches up in pain, and Touya turns his attention on their chick, gently reaching around him to grab his little hand and gently pry his fingers off. “C’mere, dove. No, no. Don’t grab the feathers.” He mumbles mindlessly as if he can understand. Once the feather is free, Touya scoops him up again and tucks him into his own arm.

“Yeah, we do. You wanna put him down, or this good?” He asks, gently bouncing the tot.

-

He's too grateful for words that his mate intervenes in the moment, because number two hero Hawks can handle rescuing forty people from a burning building while coordinating with emergency services, sidekicks, police and other heroes, but holy hell when Ai gets ahold of his feathers...

"Yeah. I mean, no. Let's- Let's put him down?" He wants to concentrate on this discussion.

-

Touya hums his agreement and turns his attention back on Ai, bouncing him gently. “Gonna be good and settle?” He asks, amping up his quirk in an attempt to calm him down a little bit. He’s gotten entirely too riled up from all the excitement.

“Your wing okay?” He asks, glancing up at Hawks and beckoning him along to the nursery.

-

He can tell right away that Touya's bribing their chick with his quirk, because Ai ceases his flapping in favor of plastering himself against his mate's chest with a little contented chirp. He's perfectly behaved in Touya's arms, he's so good with their chick. A natural. But Hawks knew he would be.

He trails Touya back to the nursery. There's no demanding set of chirps and whistles this time, just soft coos that sound more like he's talking to his dad. Hawks loves them both so much in the moment that he's sure his chest will burst.

"Yeah. Yeah, it's good. Just surprised me."

-

Ai goes from rambunctious tyke to the sweetest, most well behaved little dove in seconds. It’s damn lucky that Touya’s quirk works in him the way it does. He can only hope the next chick also has a bird quirk. Then he’ll have his whole family wrapped around his finger when he needs them all to shut the fuck up.

“There we go.” He mumbles, swaying gently as Ai slumps against him, his little flappy wings twitching until the stop completely. “Thank you. Bein’ so sweet for us. You know this is important, don’t you?” He’s grown less embarrassed by the mindless, one-sided conversations with Ai, considering Hawks does it all the time.

When it seems possible enough that Ai won’t fuss too much, he lowers him into the crib, quickly grabbing the little duck stuffie and giving it to their chick to occupy him.

-

Hawks leans against the doorway watching them, admiring the way Touya puts him down. He remembers when Ai first arrived, when his mate would barely even look at their chick. They've come such a long way. The soft murmur he uses whenever Ai is sleepy is like a balm on the avian's soul. Touya will never be like the hero's father. He'll never be violent or angry. Never abuse him for being himself. He'll definitely teach Ai to get into trouble, but Hawks has faith that he'll also teach him how to get right out of it again.

His gaze flicks up from the toy his mate is carefully positioning, up to Touya's profile. It's so greedy of him to want more. What they have here. It's perfect. Everyone is happy. His little flock. He's always been greedy. He needs to learn not to be.

-

Ai goes down without a fuss like he hopes, and Touya lingers for a moment to make sure he’s thoroughly entranced by the duck before tearing his attention away from him. Hawks is lingering in the doorway, and Touya couldn’t fight the urge to go to him if he tried. Like trying to fight fucking gravity.

He pulls the avian into his arms, swaying a little bit into the embrace like a half-assed slow dance.

-

His mate folds him into an embrace and Hawks melts against him, pulling the Todoroki in tight.

"You're so good with him." he murmurs quietly against Touya's ear. There's no way he's gonna disturb their chick. "You're everything a dad should be."

-

It’s completely innocent, the way Hawks murmurs into his ear to keep quiet. Still, it has him shuddering a bit. If his arms weren’t so scared, he’s sure he wouldn’t gotten goosebumps.

“You’re the one that’s everything a dad should be.” He murmurs back. For Touya, it’s still a little unnatural for him. It’s getting easier every day, though, like something he needed to practice. It’s quickly starting to become second nature.

He waddles Hawks out towards the living room, peppering kisses against his cheek. “So? You wanna tell me where your reservations are?”

-

He smiles into Touya's throat, pressing a little kiss there before his mate is guiding him quietly from the nursery.

As soon as they're out of earshot, the question comes.

You wanna tell me where your reservations are?

Hawks sighs, parting from the hug so he can pick a spot on the couch. Immediately, the light catches his ring, distracting him.

"It's-" He tears his eyes away from it to focus on Touya. "You hated it last time." It's not really about a second chick. It's about his mate. "You were so unhappy, Touy." He shakes his head. It was greedy to even bring it up. "Like I said at the bar. I just- misunderstood you, yeah?"

-

Touya follows close behind him, settling on the couch next to him when he sits. He nudges the other’s knee with his own, waiting patiently for his explanation.

You were so unhappy, Touy.

He quirks an eyebrow. Is he still fixated on that? “Baby,” He starts, reaching over to take his hand and squeeze it. “At first, I was unhappy, yeah. It was an accident. It was unexpected and new and scary. And I was sharing it all with a stranger. Because that’s what you were at the time. I didn’t trust you back then. Bein’ vulnerable around you, going through all of that shit for the first time, yeah, it sucked. And yeah, okay, pregnancy ain’t all rainbows and sunshine. It’s constant soreness and swamp ass and morning sickness. But…” He brings Hawks’ hand up to kiss the back of it, paying special care to the ring on his finger. His heart flutters at how perfect it looks on the avian’s finger.

“… I know what I’m getting into now. And who I’m getting into it with. I know you’re gonna take care of me. I know what to expect when they’re born, I know exactly what changes my body’s gonna go through and I know how to handle ‘em. I wouldn’t have brought it up if I hated the idea. Ain’t that selfless.” He teases, giving his hand another squeeze.

“I wanna have another. It’s just a matter of when. Sooner? Later? Cause I ain’t sure. That’s why I wanted to ask you when you would be ready.”

-

He's— he's really not expecting such a well thought out answer. Hawks is surprised by it, gaze fixed on his hand in Touya's. It really in convincing, and thorough. But the blond isn't sure.

"Touy- you didn't even want me to touch you after." Hawks turns over his words. "Your body, it's beautiful to me. Every part. The scars. The stretchmarks. The staples. Your piercings. Every part is just, well, it's a piece of the man I love. But I saw what you went through. I don't just mean the pain and discomfort." He looks up at his mate, golden calm. "I mean how you felt about your body, about yourself. Even when I brought up looking into options after, you didn't really seem to want to talk about it. So I backed off, I figured you'd think about it and talk to me in your own time. But you never said a word. And then at the bar, you brought it up, out of the blue." He curls his fingers around Dabi's. "This doesn't have to be all on you. Your body isn't-" He doesn't know how to articulate this right. "It's yours, Touy. You don't need to give up your sense of self and your comfort for this, yeah?"

-

Is that what he’s worried about?

Touya’s gaze softens, and he reaches for Hawks’ other hand, bringing them both up to his face to kiss along each knuckle while he considers what he wants to say.

“I don’t know how to explain it.” He admits, after a moment. “I felt— It felt gross, having something growing inside of me. A little wrong. And that feeling didn’t go away as soon as he was born. It ain’t because of the gender thing. Just— babies look all Fuckin’ weird when they’re still growing in there, felt like some lil parasitic creature.” He snorts at his own description and runs his thumbs over the back of Hawks’ hands.

“I don’t think that’s gonna be a problem this time. Now that we got Ai, and now that I’ve been through it and know what to expect. Can’t promise I’m always gonna be comfortable with you touchin’ my stomach when it’s bulging all gross, but it ain’t gonna take away my sense of self or anything like that. I know what I’m asking, baby.“

-

He's not sure he entirely trusts that, but he supposes it could be different now that he knows the process and that there's a person waiting at the end of it.

"But you're still calling your body gross." he points out. "Do you not see how that's a problem? It's completely normal, Touy. It's- it's beautiful to me. The way you took care of him. You carried him. Every. Single. Day. No matter how uncomfortable or difficult it was. You kept him warm and fed him and protected him." He flushes a bit. "I've never been so attracted to someone in my life." His instincts were crazy for it. "But you still feel like you're gross. And you will- if we did it again, you'd feel like you're disgusting." It's not right to put him through that. "What about the surgery?"

-

“Pretty bird, I’m always disgusting.” He teases, belatedly realizing that mayyybe it’s in poor taste. Hawks always hates it when he talks badly about himself. “I mean- It’s not a matter of looks or anything. It’s like— I dunno, if you had a fuckin’ tape work, wouldn’t you feel kinda gross and dirty?” Okay, that came out wrong. “Not that Ai was a tape work or any other future chicks are tape worms- it’s just- I don’t know.” He’s really not helping his case. He sighs and slumps back against the couch. “I don’t think I’d feel the same now, knowin’ it’s another little Ai inside of me. If that makes sense?” He looks at Hawks a little helplessly.

What about the surgery?

“Haven’t thought a whole lot about it.” He says simply. “Haven’t even seen a doc about it. Don’t know if I even want it yet. When I mentioned it the other day, it was a- If I do decide I want it, there won’t be any going back. If we wanna have another kid, we should do it now before that happens, right?”

-

Haven't even seen a doc about it.

He blinks at that, looking up sharply at his mate. Of course he hasn't. The thought didn't even cross Hawks' mind, because he just assumed he'd be there if he did. But... it seems like Dabi doesn't think the same way about it.

This conversation is making him feel worse, not better.

He doesn't know what to say here.

"There's other ways." Hawks offers. "We could adopt. I can find a surrogate." Touya doesn't need to feel like that again.

-

Touya raises his eyebrows at his suggestions before furrowing his brow. “Fuck no. I ain’t lettin’ someone else carry our kid.” He folds his arms over his chest and levels Hawks with a scowl. “Nah, if we’re having a baby, I wanna carry ‘em. Not some fuckin’ rando that gets to steal all of their first kicks and shit. And then you’ll be feelin’ up some other broad’s belly. Fuck that. No. Absolutely not.” Okay, maybe the reaction was a little aggressive.

“I mean— And why would we adopt when we can have them ourselves? We can choose it this time.” He unfolds his arms to gesture with them. “Adopted kids are fine but— How am I gonna love anyone as much as I love Ai unless they come the same way?” It feels impossible. It took a lot of effort to love his own kid, much less someone else’s.

-

Touya's reaction catches him off guard. It's not a well thought out explanation. It reeks of his mate's passionate rants. Talking about stealing first kicks and such things. Maybe he did kind of set himself up for the whole 'feeling up some broad' bit.

"I wouldn't be feeling someone else up, Touy." Hawks promises seriously. "It wouldn't be like that. And, if you wanted, I'm sure we could both donate. The chick would be ours still, no one else's." He's fighting a battle he wants to lose here, because he's pretty sure that his mate is sure. It's almost a token effort now. "I know you'd love them, no matter what."

-

It’s a relief that Hawks won’t be all handsy with someone else’s stomach, at least. But it still rubs him wrong. He shakes his head almost violently. “Nah, nah, if we have another kid, I’m carrying them. Not anyone else. I don’t want anyone else to carry them.” How can he trust that person to keep them warm enough? Or to eat well enough when they’re not around? What if she goes around bragging about carrying number two’s baby? “I want another kid, and I want them to be ours and you can’t carry ‘em, so that means I want to.”

He folds his arm again and flops against the back of the couch, that scowl still on Hawks. “I’ve thought about it, Hawks. If I wasn’t sure, I wouldn’t have brought it up at all.”

-

He serious. Hawks is sure of it. And he's sure Touya's sure. He's not messing around, this isn't for the avian's benefit. He wants this. He wants this.

Hawks reaches for the Todoroki, dragging him bodily into the avian's lap.

"You're serious." He searches Touya's eyes. "You actually want this?" His hands settle at his mate's hips like he needs to stop Touya from running away. "You want to carry my chick?"

-

He has no idea why Hawks seems so damn surprised by it. The sudden shift in his demeanor has Touya feeling a little flustered, and he forces himself to meet the avian’s eyes even when he feels his face growing redder by the second. Because he is serious and Hawks needs to stop doubting him.

“I-I want to carry your chick.” He says, finding it increasingly hard not to stammer when Hawks is looking at him like that. “Told you—It’s a matter of when, not a matter of if.”

-

He looks so shy like this. "Why're you getting flustered?" Hawks questions, squeezing his hips. "Because you mean it?" He grabs ahold of his mate's chin, gently tilting his head up so he can watch Touya's eyes. "Do you know how hot that is?" He probably shouldn't be pushing this, but his mate is scrumptious like this. Done up to the nines and talking about having another chick. "You wanna be full of me again?" Hawks chews his bottom lip, searching his mate's face. "Gonna carry my chick, sweet thing?" Okay. Alright. He's maybe really distracted by this. His instincts are running a riot. "Your birth control's run out, yeah?"

-

Shit.

Those hands squeezing his hips have him rocking forward once, almost mindlessly. He can tell right off the bat what this conversation is doing to Hawks now that he’s sure Touya is sure. It’s instant, and the arsonist almost has trouble slowing himself down when what he really wants to do is ravage his lover and make a baby right this second. “Yeah- Yeah, it’s out.” He leans in, seeking a kiss before stopping himself.

“Wait— Wait. That— There’s something else I, um. Needed to ask first.”

-

Hawks leans right in after him, chasing Touya's lips when he changes his mind and pulls back.

Hawks draws on a well of patience he didn't know he had.

"Something else?" He watches Touya, wondering why he's stuttering over this. His free hand massages his mate's hip and if the Todoroki is distracted by Hawks' hard on- well, that's his own fault for causing it. "Talk fast, hot stuff. Cause m'not feeling real patient." he warns.

-

Fucking hell. And Hawks is there trying to say Touya is the hot one. It’s a damn struggle not to jump him when he threatens not feeling patient.

Touya swallows, gaze flickering down to Hawks’ mouth for a moment before forcing it to stay on his eyes. “I— The other stuff I got. Clothes an’ shit. It wasn’t just for you.” He admits.

“I need to— Pay it back. The ring. And— I really didn’t want you to pay for it.” Something Hawks will probably think is stupid. It’s the same feeling he got when he bought Ai that duck. He just— Wanted to do it. To feel like he could provide something. And the ring, he needs it to be something he have to Hawks, completely. “So— I need to find a job. Just for a lil while. I can do that now, or I can do it after we have the second, cause I ain’t doin’ shit while I’m knocked up. But that means you’re gonna be looking after two chicks most days, yeah? So you gotta be okay with that if we have ‘em now.”

-

I need to find a job.

Hawks blinks at that. He huffs out a sigh. "You know you don't need to do any of that." He gives his mate a look when the man opens his mouth to argue. "M'not saying you can't. I know you're gonna do it anyway because you're stubborn." He squeezes Touya's hip. "If that's what you want, then do what makes you happy, yeah?" He frowns. "Just, don't go all in on it? I still wanna be able to spend time with you. And there's no hurry, yeah? Fair?" Daisuke's gonna be getting a ton of hours out of this.

-

“I wanna do it.” Touya insists, sliding his arms around Hawks’ shoulders. “Wanna do it myself.” Because he can do it himself.

Just don’t go all in on it?

Touya smirks, leaning in to ghost his mouth over Hawks’. “You really think I’m gonna work any harder than I need to? C’mon, you know me better than that.”

Fuck, he’s telling him he still wants to be able to spend time with him. Does that mean—? So he wants to—? He holds his breath, waiting for Hawks to close the space between them and confirm it.

-

He nods. "Do what you gotta do, sweet thing." Hawks offers him a lopsided smile. "You know I don't care how much it cost, yeah? But the whole getting a job thing- so fucking proud of you, Touy. Seriously. It's amazing. You better land something with a uniform. Uniforms are hot." he teases gently. Speaking of hot—

"M'not waiting though. You've got as long as it takes for me to knock you up." Golden goes hooded. "And I'm real conscientious when I wanna be, sweet thing." He leans forward to steal a kiss, brief but with an edge of teeth. "Real hard worker."

-

It’s not that he doesn’t like the praise. It’s making his heard flutter, to hear that Hawks is proud of him. But he hasn’t the slightest idea how to respond to it, and so he chooses not to.

Fuck. He doesn’t even have time to laugh at Hawks for his thing about uniforms before Hawks’ mouth is on his, with just enough teeth to tease the shit out of him.

“No waiting.” He agrees, a little breathless despite the distinct lack of activity. Touya tangles his hands into the avian’s hair and crushes his mouth into his like a man starved.

-

He really had nothing to worry about, did he? Touya's on him in seconds and he's never felt so secure in the knowledge that they both want this. It was always so one-sided the first time. This time- well, this time he can feel Touya's enthusiasm.

When the kiss breaks- all tongue and teeth -Hawks is breathless. He's feeling, it's not how it usually is. His instincts are riled up, loud and demanding. The avian sucks in a breath.

"Touy," It's breathless. "Kinda," He chews his lip. It's riding him hard right now. It feels like that time after their date. When his season was close and he took a palm to his mate's ass. He feels like he wants to eat his mate up. "Kinda not feeling real gentle." Fuck. He's being weird. He knows he is but his instincts are clouding him and right now he just doesn't care. "Think you can handle that?"

-

The unspoken promise of teeth and a little bit of rough handling has Touya rolling his hips over the very defined lump in his lover’s pants, greedily seeking friction to relieve the instantaneous effect Hawks has on him.

“Fuck. Yeah- Yeah I can handle it. Want it as hard as you’ll give it to me.” God knows Touya isn’t planning on being gentle with him, either. He doesn’t have the instincts Hawks does, but there’s something inherently primitive about the way they’re pawing at each other, seconds away from fucking each other relentlessly with purpose.

-

His mate doesn't even hesitate. Fuck, he's beautiful.

"Get on your knees." There's really no need for it. Hawks sure as hell doesn't need any prepping. But his instincts want to watch his mate struggle on his cock. Want to see him peering up at Hawks like there's no one else in his world. He's already unfastening his pants and freeing himself, shuffling his ass forward to the edge of the couch.

"Show me how much you want it, sweet thing." he demands.

-

Okay, he’s absolutely not expecting that. The fight hasn’t left him yet, not really- He still plans to make Hawks work for it if he wants to knock him up. But fuck if he isn’t intrigued. Hawks never gets this assertive with him, and if he’s honest, it’s driving him fucking crazy. He needs Hawks inside of him now.

Instead, he pushes his hands up the avian’s shirt, taking his nails down the front of his chest in retaliation before sinking down on the floor between his thighs, dutifully getting right to work on grabbing Hawks’ freed cock and running his tongue along the underside of it.

-

He's caught completely off guard at the way Touya lashes back, nails down his chest like he's in charge. Hawks bares his canines completely involuntarily, letting out a low growl at the misbehaviour. He surprises even himself and he's about apologize but Touya's already getting on his knees. Hawks realizes with a start that his eyes must be doing that thing, because his vision is funny, like the only clear thing in his field is his mate.

The avian hisses when a hot tongue drags up his shaft. He thrusts both hands into Touya's hair reflexively, his hold tight.

"Don't play with me, sweetheart." Hawks warns. "Got my instincts all fucky. Not feelin' like m'self." He flexes his hips experimentally, forcing Dabi to chase his cock.

-

Touya hates how much that look sends a thrill through him. And by hates, he means loves. He thinks, if he told Hawks that out loud, he would be ashamed. So he keeps it to himself, squirming a bit on his knees for a little bit of relief from the way his body is burning over that fucking growl and the way his pupils are pinned.

He doesn’t break eye contact, even when Hawks is reprimanding him for his slow pace. It isn’t until Hawks is flexing his cock into his mouth that his mouth falls open to take it properly. Admittedly, he doesn’t do this for Hawks as often as Hawks does it for him, and when he does, he’s a little more lazy about it. So he’s perhaps a little out of practice. Regardless, he makes a valiant attempt at taking as much of him into his mouth as he can, and gets pretty damn close to the base on the first attempt, even if it has his eyes watering a bit.

-

Hawks hasn't got a lot of mercy in him right now. His mate opens up and the avian drives himself home. It's not like Touya's complaining, looking up at him with bright, tear filled eyes.

Hawks tilts his head, holding himself deep. "That the best you can do, sweet thing?" He counts another beat, soaking in the heat. "Thought you wanted my chick?"

He pulls out, all the way free so that a strand of saliva connects his mate's mouth to his rigid cock. Hawks lets out a disapproving trill.

"Sloppy, baby." he scolds mildly.

-

That the best you can do, sweet thing?

Touya knows Hawks is playing on his competitive nature, but he can’t help the way he falls into the taunt. Because like hell that’s the best he can do. If Hawks wants him to work for it, then he’ll work for it.

The azure rings of his eyes flicker with the scolding, defiant and silently daring him to give him shit for how sloppy his blowjobs are when he’s about to make him see stars.

He pushes forward again, not bothering to clean up the first mess of saliva before he’s bracing himself on Hawks’ thighs and swallowing his cock again, head bobbing up and down with purpose this time.

-

Shit. Okay. Fucking hell. Apparently all his mate needed was a little encouragement.

Hawks lets out a low coo, dick twitching in Touya's mouth as he wills his eyes not to close and head not to fall back. If he does that he won't get to see the fire in his mate's eyes and fucking hell does he look beautiful right now.

"Hn- there you go." Fuck. "Just like that, hot stuff." His hands are tight in Touya's hair, just hanging on as he flexes his hips a little. He's not gonna try anything too drastic when the Todoroki is being so reckless.

"Really do want it, don't you?" He's so beautiful like this. "Perfect mouth." It comes out on a coo. "Gettin' close, sweetheart."

-

There’s nothing more encouraging than those little coos, and if he’s honest, the praises are driving him a little crazy. After all of that teasing he gave Hawks for getting off on praise, too. He’s gotta take that one to the grave. He squirms a bit, willing himself to focus on the task at hand. It’s easy enough when Hawks has his hands threaded into his hair, pretty words laced with coos.

Gettin’ close, sweetheart.

Good. He’s not sure if Hawks intended to cum down his throat; Touya’s usually great about taking it. If he did, though, he’s about to get a rude surprise. See if he can get all fucking hot and dominating on Touya without a little fighting back.

In an instant, he stops his movements, dragging his head back with a smirk on his face. He makes a point to leave plenty mess behind, not so much as lapping any of of the pre and saliva with his tongue.

-

His mate stops completely, which doesn't surprise the avian at all. Touya wants a chick. Not gonna get there cumming down the man's throat. He's leaving a hell of a mess, though. Or maybe that's just his impatience showing.

Hawks' tongue darts out to whet his lips, pinned golden focusing and refocusing on his mate.

"Not gonna waste it, yeah?" He smirks, showing off his canines. "Bein' a good little mate." Hawks tugs his hair, encouraging him to get up. "Shuck your pants. Want you riding me, sweetheart."

-

Fuck, he loves that look on Hawks. Pinned pupils and not a care in the world about hiding his canines. Despite himself, Touya finds himself obeying, rising to his feet and tugging his pants down his narrow hips until they’re looked at his feet and easy to step out of. Maybe he takes a little too long doing it, enjoying watching where the avian’s attention is and his impatience apparent in his body language. He makes shorter work of his shirt, all but tearing it off of his body before he’s climbing into Hawks’ lap.

-

Touya's screwing with him, taking his time and putting on a show. It's great for the first five seconds, until Hawks' impatience gets the best of him, the blond sending him urgent trills to hurry the hell up.

When Touya's finally climbing onto his lap, Hawks reaches for his hips, dragging him down into an aggressive kiss. He flexes his own hips up urgently, blindly seeking against his mate. He doesn't think this job thing'll last long, not when Hawks isn't gonna let him leave this couch till Touya's carrying his chick.

-

Touya groans softly into the kiss, high on just how badly he’s wanted. It’s in the way Hawks kisses him, in the way he’s grabbing his hips. The arsonist reaches underneath himself to guide Hawks against his entrance, which proves to be difficult as hell when the avian is kissing him like this. How is he supposed to think about anything else?

It isn’t until Touya’s sinking down on Hawks’ length that he parts from the kiss, panting softly. “Fuck, Hawks. Gonna fuck another chick into me?” They’ll have the tiniest little flock. They’ll probably need to move, somewhere Ai and their next kid can have their own rooms. His mind is wandering far too much, and before he knows what’s happening, he’s perfectly seated on Hawks, arms linking around his shoulders for support while he adjusts.

-

He's not sure why Touya has to tear away from the kiss to ask him what he already knows, but Hawks is too distracted to call him out on it when he's sinking down on the avian's cock like he was made for it.

This time his head does tip back, mouth falling open around something between a coo and a groan. His hands never leave his mate's hips.

"Don't- have to ask." he pants out, trying his absolute best to stay still while he knows Touya's adjusting. It's almost impossible. "Gonna give you as many chicks as you want." A whole flock. All theirs. A big family full of love and laughter and feathers and fire. He knows that's not what Touya means, but he lets his mind wander anyway. It can't hurt to think about it, as long as he doesn't voice it.

"Wanna see you all heavy again." Hawks confesses breathily. "Wanna stuff you full and kiss you till I lose my mind." It's not all that articulate but he's trying.

-

Wanna see you all heavy again.

It shouldn’t turn him on. Honestly, it might have outright grossed him out a year ago. Right now, the thought has his face going red and his walls twitching around Hawks. He wants that. It’s stupid how bad he wants it. To be full of Hawks and his kids and to be taken care of by the love of his life.

“Love you.” He doesn’t even give Hawks a moment to respond before he’s sealing his mouth over the avian’s and bouncing in his lap.

-

"Lo-"

He doesn't even get to finish because Touya's slotting his mouth over the avian's and Hawks is instinctively going for that shiny ball in his tongue with an aggression he'd normally never give voice to.

His hands tighten around his mate's hips and Hawks fucks up, into him experimentally, gaging his reaction.

-

The force that Hawks drives up into him catches him way off guard, and his hands grip the back of the couch to steady himself as he gasps, involuntarily parting from the kiss again. “Fuck, just like that. Keep doing that.”

-

Apparently it's the right thing to do. Hawks loves the reaction.

He smirks up at his mate, golden hooded. "Hang on tight, sweet thing. We're gonna get this on the first try, yeah?"

That's the only warning he gives before he's fucking his mate outright. There's an abandon to it that he hasn't had since his season, driving and relentless with a focus that's usually reserved for rescues. It's all on his mate right now though, on the knowledge that they're making their next chick. That his mate is above him, willing and ready to expand their flock. Giving up his comfort to gift their chick a sibling.

Fuck. He has no idea why that drives him so crazy but it does.

-

It’s intense being on the receiving end of Hawks’ unwavering focus. There’s no caution to not go too hard, or any attention on masking his eyes or his teeth. Just relentless fucking, like he’s tunnel visioned on giving him that chick. On the first try. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

It’s growing impossible to keep his head in the moment, quite literally having his thoughts fucked out of him, and his head falls forward to rest on Hawks’ shoulder like he can’t even think to hold it up.

“Yeah— Yeah.” First try. His nails dig into the back of the couch, head lifting oh to roll back. “Fuck, Hawks— Can’t— Gonna—“

Touya’s peak creeps up on him, his whole body tensing up with it and his walls fluttering around Hawks like he intends to milk every last drop out of him.

-

Something in him is deeply satisfied to see his mate go to pieces like this. Touya's completely unguarded as he accepts the avian's determined thrusts. It's real and it's personal and it's unfiltered. It has Hawks leaning into his mate's bared throat to sink his canines into Touya's skin like he owns the man.

It happens in sync with the Todoroki's peak. Between the taste of him, the sound of him cumming, and the feeling of Touya's tightness coaxing his cock, Hawks doesn't bother to curb his own crashing peak. No, he leans into it, emptying into his mate until there's nothing left in him to give.

But everyone knows being upright isn't the best way to conceive.

Hawks has him on his back in a flurry of feathers and strong arms, nested between Touya's legs as he fucks his load deeper into his mate. He's feeling a little wild. No- that's a lie. He's feeling a lot wild, golden bright as he works the Todoroki, fighting the urge to bite into his mate again.

-

It’s overwhelming, the pleasant pain of Hawks’ teeth in his neck at the exact moment he’s hitting his peak. He expects that he’ll be able to collapse forward against his lover once he starts coming down, but Hawks has other ideas, even when he’s clearly spent.

Touya doesn’t argue when he’s shifted onto his back in a feat of athleticism and quirk usage that anyone would be impressed by if they weren’t currently floating in their post-nut haze.

“Hawks,” He’s just shy of whining the avian’s name as he fucks his spend deeper inside of him, seriously he’ll bent on knocking up on the first try like he said. “Sensitive.” He holds his arms up, silently urging Hawks to collapse on top of him.

-

It takes effort to stay his instincts, especially when he already wants another round. He has every intention of making good on his promise to his mate.

But that sweet little whine is so exhausted, and pretty blue eyes are watching up at him in a haze. It's the needy way his mate reaches for the avian that tips the scale and Hawks relents, easing himself down onto his elbows above Touya.

He really was too rough with his mate.

"M'here." He deposits a handful of kisses across the bridge of the Todoroki's nose. "'ve got you, baby." Hawks cards fingers into his hair, admiring the new do. "You okay?"

-

The embrace is grounding, and Touya finds himself lifting his head to return the kisses Hawks peppers over his nose and cheeks.

You okay?

Touya huffs out a laugh and snuggles closer. “Got me forgetting my own damn name, pretty bird. Think I’m better than okay.” If Hawks fucks him like that the next few days, he thinks he’s more excited to have another kid. Yeah, okay. Maybe not the best incentive. But it’s only part of the picture, and it’s hot as hell, so sue him. “You weren’t kidding about the first try thing.”

-

The sound of his mate's laughter has his wings relaxing, a smile pulling at his own features in response.

"Name's Touya." he reminds the man in his arms helpfully. "Don't worry, I've got you."

You weren't kidding about the first try thing.

Hawks shakes his head. "Not that m'gonna not make love to you every day this week." he hums. "Gotta be sure and all." He plants another kiss on his mate's mouth. "You sure you're okay. Got a little rough with you there."

-

Name’s Touya.

It steals another breathless laugh out of him. He’s still grinning when Hawks plants a kiss on him. “Thanks. What would I do without you?”

You sure you’re okay?

“Yeah— Yeah, s’good. Love it when you let yourself get carried away.” He teases, leaning up for another quick kiss. “Just need a second or in really gonna lose my mind and it’ll be all your fault.”

-

God, he loves seeing his mate laugh like this.

And Touya doesn't seem to mind at all that he didn't reign himself in. In fact, he says he likes it. Hawks is having trouble wrapping his head around not feeling bad for it. He's always gentle with his partners. But this feels so good and Touya loves it, so does he really need to feel bad?

"Just a second?" he questions, golden suddenly too focused. "You gonna let me do it again?" Touya's body is hot and melting around him and Hawks isn't anywhere near flagging. Not when the thought of fucking into his own spend is on the table. It's got something really possessive stirring up his bird, something he thinks might gross his mate out.

-

Just a second?

Touya thinks he’s only teasing at first, but a good look at his expression tells him that Hawks is dead serious. He should’ve figured, considering how vigorous Hawks was fucking his spend into him just a moment ago. Shit, is he still hard? It’s like his season all over again.

The arsonist bites his lower lip, gaze falling on Hawks’ mouth and back up. “Only if you bite me again.”

-

Touya's condition isn't much of a condition. It might as well be, 'only if you fuck me again.' Hawks is on it like a shot.

He hooks his arms under his mate's knees, hoisting them over his shoulders to open the Todoroki up to him. He's immediately deeper, home and hot and sweet inside his mate. Hawks lets out a possessive coo, pressing a quick kiss to Touya's shoulder before sinking his teeth straight into the man's unscarred skin this time.

-

Touya’s not sure if it’s experience, instinct, or a bit of both, but Hawks really knows what the fuck he’s doing. It’s effortless how he maneuvers Touya to get impossibly deeper.

He doesn’t have a moment to dwell on it, though, before Hawks is making good on his request and sinking his teeth into his shoulder. The skin there is more sensitive than on his neck, with no scarred tissue to dull his senses. Some odd sound between a moan and whimper escapes him, and he’s quick to wrap his arms around Hawks’ shoulders and his his face into his neck. In part because what the fuck, that was humiliating, and in part because he’s not sure how Hawks will react to the way his eyes water at the sensation of being quite literally stuffed full, and the sharp pang in his shoulder. “Fuck- God- Yeah, that’s good-“

-

The sound his mate makes has Hawks dick twitching. It's perfect and sweet and just a little helpless. His instincts adore it, like a siren call direct to his bird. It starts his hips on a merciless pace. Is it weird that the feel of Touya leaking around him is turning him on? God- it's probably so weird. But he's way too into it to be bothered by the fact.

Yeah, that's good-

Hawks emits a little growl directly into his mate's skin, a warning and a promise. He feels his wings, now freed from their pin, lifting to loom over them both in a possessive display. It's the second time already and he should maybe need more but Hawks is going a little crazy. He manages a hand over Touya's belly as he ruts into him, already fantasizing about feeling a swell.

-

Touya can feel Hawks’ spend leaking down his thighs when his pace picks up again without warning. It’s embarrassing, and he feels like he needs to squeeze his thighs shut to keep it all inside. With Hawks wedged between him, though, it’s pointless; All he manages to do is squeeze Hawks in between his thighs.

If it was a lot before, it’s almost too much now, with Hawks filling his ears with growls and scarlet engulfing his vision in addition to the rough treatment.

He doesn’t even notice it when he unhooks an arm from around Hawks to bring his hand between them and lay atop of Hawks’, flat on his belly.

“Hawks— Please-” Touya’s not even sure what he’s pleading for, only that he wants to be swollen with Hawks’ chick again. Made by choice, out of love.

-

There's that whine again. It's so needy and sweet, speaks directly to his instincts. They tell him his mate is begging for a chick, especially when he feels Touya's hand cover his own.

If he thought it would take a while to lose his mind the second time, Hawks was dead wrong. Because he can't not fill his mate when the man is begging him so sweetly like this.

Hawks' peak crashes over him almost violently, body going rigid as he plants himself as deeply as he can. He doesn't mean for his jaw to lock so tightly on Touya's flesh, but it does reflexively, his feathers flashing sharp to soft, vibrating in a weirdly musical way.

This time, he has the energy for little more than to let his mate carefully down, collapsing over Touya with his wings spread protectively.

-

Touya clings onto his lover for dear life as he cums inside of him again. It’s a fucking mess between his thighs, and he quickly has to give up on trying to keep it inside when the second wave comes. Instead? He lets his legs fall open, an invitation Hawks doesn’t need to bury his cock in as deep as it will go.

The teeth only biting down harder has him groaning on the coattails of another helpless sound. It’s a relief on his overstimulated body when Hawks collapses on top of him. He finds his arms locking around the avian’s shoulder again, his stomach abandoned in favor of holding Hawks as close to him as he can.

-

This time, the avian is out of breath. Huffing against his mate's shoulder as he tries to catch it. He swears he can still see stars when he closes his eyes, body buzzing and wings twitching.

He can feel the mess between their bodies and it draws a string of tired coos out of him. He'll clean Touya up in a minute. He just needs a few seconds to remember what planet he's on.

-

Hawks might be more fucked out than he is, if his wings are anything to go by. Is it weird to think he’s beautiful like this? Panting and completely spent, his wings vibrating in a way he’s only seen during his season.

When Touya finds his own head, he turns his face to press kisses to his lover’s temple, quietly coaxing him out of whatever haze he’s in. “Love you.” He mumbles in between kisses. “So much.”

-

The affection has the hero mustering his energy to lean into it, basking in Touya's sweet kisses.

"Love you, too." he mumbles, pushing one of his hands back down to his mate's belly. Like he needs to check. Like he might find Touya round. Golden cracks open when his fingers splay over the soft skin. His instincts should be satisfied by now, but his gaze his dark and heavy on his mate. "My Touya."

-

My Touya.

Even when he’s looking at him like that, it has his heart turning over in his chest. The realization of just how much he feels for this man never fails to surprise him. “My Hawks.” He mumbles back, nosing closer to steal a quick kiss. “My Keigo.” His brings his hand to rest atop of Hawks’ again, rubbing a thumb over the back of his hand.

-

The sentiment returned makes his chest feel full. Like he's flown high as he can go and dropped to earth only to spread his wings at the last possible moment. It's like that, when his heart races and it wants to burst right out of his ribcage.

He smiles back at his mate, relaxed against the Todoroki. Idly, Hawks strokes his soft stomach.

"Think it worked?"

-

“We’ll find out in a couple weeks.” Touya answers, giving Hawks a lazy grin. It’s unbelievably comfortable like this, tangled up in his lover, all lazy kisses and warm smiles. His quirk buzzes underneath his skin, not entirely unlike Hawks’ feathers a little earlier. “Til then, we’ll have to keep trying.”

He shifts a bit, flushing when he can feel Hawks’ spend seep out a bit. “Couch is gonna be a bitch to clean up.”

-

A couple weeks... he can't wait that long. He'll just have to be sure.

The avian nods. "Can try as many times as you want, sweet thing." He's here to serve his mate.

Couch is gonna be a bitch to clean up.

His feathers twitch at the complaint and Hawks is suddenly all the more aware of the mess he's made. He pushes up, a determined look in golden.

"Stay still, hot stuff. 've got you." If he shows his teeth in the flash of a smile he gives his mate, it's entirely unintentional and definitely not a threat of any kind.

-

Apparently Hawks takes his complaint as an indicator to get up. “Don’t gotta do it now-“ He starts, but Hawks is giving him some kinda look that has him shutting right up. “Fuck. You’re doing that on purpose.”

-

He smirks, wider this time leaving no doubt about his predatory nature.

"Wanna." Hawks slips down his body, one hand lingering on the soft curve of his stomach as the other nudges open his thighs. Hawks leans in to kiss along the join of scars to healthy skin.

"Only came once, didn't you?" Kiss. "My mate deserves better than that, yeah?" His spend is everywhere, stirred up by their vigorous second round. Hawks laps at the inside of his thigh. It's slightly salty mixed with the distinct taste of Touya. "Gotta take care of you properly." Hawks hums. He has no idea if his mate is with chick but that drive is already there. Apparently all it takes is a plan.

-

It takes a moment to realize what Hawks is getting at. At first, he assumes Hawks is going to linger at his belly for a while before getting up. The hand on his stomach would suggest that. But then he’s nudging his thighs apart and—

Only came once, didn’t you?

If Touya doesn’t respond right away, it’s because he’s completely blindsided. Azure goes wide, his mouth falling open. It isn’t until he feels Hawks’ tongue along his thigh that he finds his voice, his face going beet red as he sits up on his elbows. “Fuck- You don’t gotta do that.” One orgasm is enough for him. Fuck, is he a freak for finding that hot, though? He can’t help but wonder what it tastes like, both of them mixed like that.

-

He loves that completely disarmed look of shock on his mate's face. Touya's always so in control and sassy, seeing him like this tonight has Hawks feeling all kinds of ways.

He replaces the hand on his mate's thigh with a strong feather, gently easing his thighs wider apart.

"I made the mess." Hawks coos. "Gotta take responsibility." He laps along the inside of Touya's thigh. "Don't worry, sweet thing." Hawks pushes a hand between his legs. "Not gonna waste anything."

He's gathering up the mess and pushing it back into his mate before Touya can protest. Hawks angles two fingers right for his sweet spot and sets his mouth to that perfect little button that never fails to drive his mate insane. There's something immensely dirty about this- caressing his belly when he splits his mate on his fingers. Lapping up their combined mess. Touya's body is soft and pliant from their lovemaking and Hawks can't resist the urge to drag one more peak out of the man who might already be carrying their second chick.

-

Hawks has no business looking so hot while he’s doing something so damn gross. Touya groans when he feels Hawks push their mess back inside of him. It’s so dirty, and he’s enjoying it way more than he should.

And like Hawks has his body memorized-in all honesty, he probably does-his fingers curve expertly against his spot at the same time his mouth is on him.

Touya’s hands delve into blond, seeking out anything he can to ground himself while he brings him right back where he was only moments ago. “Fucking degenerate.” He accuses, head falling back. After he’d already been edged, it won’t take long at all. “God- Fuck-“

-

He smirks against his mate's warmth, feathers ruffling at the insult. He can be a degenerate if this is what it does to his mate, reduced to a sweet, panting mess.

Hawks curls his fingers, coaxing his mate to peak. He might get addicted to their combined taste, especially when his Touya is writhing under him like this.

-

His impending peak becomes obvious between the way he helplessly grabs the avian’s hair like he needs to anchor himself, his back arching moments before he finally reaches it. Really, he should be embarrassed at everything Hawks is doing to him right now, but he’s way too blissed to feel ashamed when his walls clamp down on his lover’s fingers, causing more of the mess to seep out.

He collapses back against the couch, a little groggy when he watches down at Hawks. “Baby,” He breathes, “Wanna taste.”

-

Hawks abandons his mate's little button as he cums, instead working on cleaning him up fully as he clamps down around the avian's fingers. Why the hell does it turn him on so much to feel his spend seeping out around his fingers?

Wanna taste.

Hawks looks up, golden pinned. He's not too messy. There's a joke in there somewhere about the way he eats. He doesn't waste any time climbing Touya's body to grant his wish with a possessive kiss.

-

Touya accepts his lover into his arms eagerly, sliding them around the avian’s waist while he comes in for the kiss. He wastes no time taking what he wants, tongue slipping into Hawks’ mouth the moment it parts. Fuck, they’re being so gross right now, but Touya can’t bring himself to care.

By the time they part for air, Touya’s lazy and boneless, one arm falling over his head and the other hanging off the side of the couch. “Gonna be the fuckin’ death of me.”

-

His mate isn't taking it lying down- okay he sort of is- but the kiss he returns is just as assertive. Hawks loves it, loves the way his lover is so sweet and accepting. It doesn't matter what side he shows the man, Touya never hesitates.

When he pulls away, the avian's gaze is full of love.

"Not until we have another chick." Hawks counters, dropping a kiss on his nose. "And you've gotta live at least another seventy years."

-

“Seventy? Pushing it.” Touya teases, giving him a sleepy, grin. “What are we even gonna do in seventy years? We’ll be all feeble.” Growing old together with Hawks. That particular thought hasn’t crossed his mind, but it has his heart turning over. That’s what marriage is all about.

“Guess it wouldn’t be the worst if we were shitty and decrepit together.” He hums, brow furrowing in thought as he entertains this little daydream. “Do feathers go grey?”

-

He gives his mate a lovesick little smile, leaning on a propped up palm to watch Touya's face.

He loves what he sees. Not just the appearance, but the far away look in his mate's eyes that tells the blond he's picturing the future.

"Speak for yourself. M'gonna be young and hot forever, sweet thing." His grin is lopsided. "They're never going grey."

-

Dabi rolls his eyes, a little smirk on his face as he shoves a hand over Hawks’ mouth. “Sure you will.” He’s such a shit. “Guess I’m probably gonna think you’re hot even when you’re old. By then I’ll be into it.” He teases, dropping his hand again to come in for a kiss instead.

“We’ll probably be grandparents. Two kids, one of ‘em’s bound to have more. That’s a fuckin’ weird thought. Never thought about having some kinda… I dunno, lineage.”

-

He can't resist giving his mate's hand a cheeky lick. His reward is a kiss. Hawks feels like that's fair.

"You don't even gotta worry 'bout it." he teases when they part. "Already gorgeous in white, hot stuff."

Grandparents? He blinks. "You think so?" Hawks hums, gaze going soft. "That's- what even do grandparents do?"

-

Touya hums like he’s actually mulling the question over. “Spoil their grandkids rotten and then leave the consequences to their parents. Least that’s what you’re gonna do.” Ai’s already got anything he could ever want as a baby.

“Speaking of spoiled…” He lifts his head up, azure focusing on gold. “What’re we gonna do with the new kid? We gonna find a new place? Y’know, so they got their own rooms?”

-

Spoil them rotten? He can do that.

"What-" Oh. The bedroom situation. "Good point." Hawks hums. "I've been thinking about it for a while." the avian admits. "Been looking at houses." He keeps his gaze on his mate as he confesses. "There're some nice neighborhoods on the outskirts. Big yards, quiet streets, good schools. Was thinking we could buy something up, maybe look for something with an empty lot or two so we have plenty of privacy." He bites his lip, gnawing at it. "Do you think you'd be on board for that?"

-

Touya doesn’t have the slightest idea why Hawks looks so damn nervous about that question. Like he’d ever reject him. He quirks an eyebrow, humming again. “A house, somewhere quiet where I don’t have to walk up a billion fuckin’ flights of stairs or take some sketchy ass elevator to get home? Dunno… Might miss the exercise.” He smirks and settles back against the couch arm.

“Course I’m on board with it. That’s be best for the kids, right? And for us. Oh, but I want a pool. Kinda got attached to yours and now I’m too spoiled to imagine a life without one.”

-

He huffs a relieved laugh, staring adoringly at this man who's given him everything. Given him a family.

"Yeah, okay. I'll get you a pool. Or we can get one put in. Whatever you want." He hums, smile quirking. "Have just the place in mind actually. It's pretty old but there's plenty of space." And maybe seven bedrooms. He's sure they'll find a use for all that space. And it comes with a couple parcels of land that'll keep it nice and quiet.

-

Hawks said he’d been looking at houses, but Touya hadn’t realized how serious he was about it. “Yeah? Already found a place? Geez, pretty bird. How long’ve you been lookin’ and when were you gonna tell me you wanted to move?” He’s not offended by it or anything, but he doesn’t really understand why Hawks wouldn’t mention it to him sooner.

“Don’t really care where we live. If you’re there, it’s home.” Okay, that was sappy. He cringes a bit. “Fuckin’ ew, you’re rubbing off on me.”

-

He shrugs, the gesture a bit awkward while he's propped up on his stomach.

"A while." Okay, that's an understatement. "Kind of. I mean, always wanted a big family. Sort of picked the neighborhood a few years back. Keep up with the listings and all that." Now it's his turn to be embarassed, Touya's looking at him like it's strange.

And then he's not.

If you're there, it's home.

His heart. Hawks grins. "Touya Todoroki that was sappy as hell." The avian's wings fluff happily. "I love you. Start packing."

-

Touya groans, dragging a hand down his face. He kind of set himself up to get teased there. Hawks is all fluffed up, though, so he can’t be too upset.

“Love you too, you winged menace.” He grumbles, plopping his arm above his head again. “Start packing, huh? You gonna show me this dream house you’ve been lookin’ at for years first? C’mon, where’s your phone?”

-

Hawks has a feather gone for his phone before Touya's even finished asking, the device appearing in his hand in record time. He thumbs it open and hits the shortcut because, yes, it is on his favorites list, and holds it up to show his mate.

The place is obviously an older style. But it's big and sprawling with two stories and a huge deck. The brick is a bright white and well maintained, surrounded by trees and green space that edges onto forest. The long drive sets it way back from the road and the vegetation hides the home from prying eyes. In Hawks' view, it's a tiny slice of paradise. Quiet and roomy and with all the green he could ever need.

"What do you think?" the blond asks with bated breath.

-

Touya takes the phone when it’s offered to him, swiping through the various photos of the interior and exterior. “I think, that’s a big fuckin’ house, pretty bird.” In all honesty, though, he likes it. The biggest appeal is how secluded it is. Not that the city isn’t exciting, but sometimes it would be nice to have peace and quiet without holing up inside.

“They’re gonna have all that space to play. We could get, like, one’a those lil playgrounds.” He flashes Hawks a grin. “Plenty of room for a pool. And far the fuck away from nosy neighbors. Think it’s just about perfect, once we figure out what to do with all the rooms.” Three bedrooms, maybe a playroom, and an office or two… Fuck, that doesn’t even fill all of them. “Have you gone an looked at it in person? We should do that.”

-

His heart skips a beat as Touya swipes through the pictures, a running commentary from his mate revealing his thoughts.

"Plenty of room." Hawks nods. "Could even make it indoors if you want." He'd do anything for this man. "And if the rooms are a problem-" We can just have more chicks. "Uh, you could invite your friends to stay, yeah?"

Have you gone and looked at it in person?

Hawks shakes his head. "Not yet. Flew out there a couple times." Maybe more than a couple when he was on his own, cheering himself up daydreaming on the hard days. He's been waiting for it to come on the market for years. "We should. I'll get us a showing." His feathers just won't go down, fluffed up with happiness.

-

Invite his friends? He could. He probably won’t. A guest room wouldn’t be a bad idea, though. Just in case.

“Could have a theater-room. Family movie nights an’ shit. Sounds like something you’d like.” He teases, leaning in to kiss him again. “Fuck, you’re cute. You’re really excited for this, huh?” It’s a rhetorical question. It’s written all over his face. And his feathers. “We could take Ai with us. Find the stupid baby harness.”

-

"We're definitely taking Ai." he confirms without hesitation. "No harness for you though, sweet thing. You're already carrying a chick." He can't resist teasing his mate.

Hawks chases that first kiss with one more. "Thank you. For not shooting this down. Been looking forward to it a long time." the avian admits.

-

“More of a sea monkey than a chick for a while.” He points out, grinning lazily. He doesn’t point out that they have no idea if he’s actually pregnant yet. Don’t some people try for months to get it?

“Tch. There ain’t a lotta shit I could tell you no on when you’re fluffed up all cute like that, even if I wanted to.” And he definitely doesn’t want to. “M’glad we get to do it together.” He says, pushing a hand into the avian’s hair. “Feels like we’ve got it all backwards, huh? Kids, then marriage, then getting a house together.“

-

Hawks gives him a cheeky grin. "I'll have to remember that." How to get his own way.

"Me too." Hawks agrees sincerely. "No one else I'd rather do it with. Don't care if it's backwards or upside down, this is- it's everything I've always wanted." He gives Touya another lovesick look. "And it's all cause of you, Touy." He reaches for his mate's hand, pulling it to his mouth to plant a kiss on the scarred skin. "You've made every dream I ever had come true."

-

“Now who’s gettin’ sappy?” Touya teases, turning his hand to hold the avian’s cheek, fingertips gently brushing over his skin. “Think you dreamt too small if this is all it takes to fulfill them.”

The look on his lover’s face is making his heart turn over. He could almost swear that his heart never beat until he met Hawks. Now all it takes is a few pretty looks and some sweet words and Touya’s putty with a racing heart.

“Got any name ideas for the next one?”

-

Touya watches up at him with more love than the avian thought could even exist in this world. How it's all for him and their chicks, he'll never know. But he's never gonna take it for granted.

"Nope." Hawks returns cheerfully. "Not even one. Figured you're the naming genius."

-

Touya hums and pulls his hand away to fold his arms behind his head. “You think so? How about…. Kira. That’s pretty gender, neutral, ain’t it?” He grins at the avian shamelessly. “What do you think?”

-

"Kira." Hawks rolls the name over on his tongue. Honestly, he doesn't mind what their chick is named. They'll be a part of his flock, that's all that matters.

"Kira it is." the blond pronounces, sitting back on his knees to cover his mate's stomach with two hands. "Nice t'meet you, Kira. Daddy's gonna take good care of you, baby feathers."

-

Touya actually laughs at Hawks’ compliance. He’d only been joking when he suggested the name… It was the name of the baddie from a series he’d gotten super into when he was pregnant with Ai.

He lays there, complaint and lazy while Hawks sits up and starts to speak to his stomach. What a damn goofball. They’re still not sure anyone is in there yet. “Think they’ll have feathers, too? Another lil dove?” He hopes so. He loves Ai’s little wings.

-

Hawks glances up with a smile.

"Don't care if he's got fins, hot stuff. He's part of the family already." Or she. Hawks really doesn't care which, he's just overjoyed to be working on expanding their flock.

Hawks kneads his stomach gently like it might help things along. "You want a girl or a boy this time?"

-

Dabi squirms a bit, the kneading on his stomach ever so slightly ticklish.

You want a girl or a boy this time?

It’s weird, being asked that. When he was pregnant with Ai, they never had discussions like these. He never wanted to discuss it. Up until nearly the end, he’d been adamant about leaving this behind. The thought of it now makes his skin crawl.

“Don’t really care.” He says with a shrug. “If I had to pick? Maybe a girl, since we’ve got our lil boy. But it doesn’t make much of a difference. Ain’t nothin’ you can do with a girl that you can’t do with a boy, and vice versa.”

-

Hawks gives his mate a quick smile. It's not that Touya doesn't care. It's that he doesn't mind, the avian thinks.

"You're right. Whatever they are, however they look, gonna love them like crazy." He glances down at the gentle swell of his mate's belly. "Gonna love you so much when you get here, baby feathers." He didn't start talking to their first chick until Touya was heavy and round. This time, there's no need to quell the urge.

-

“And so it begins.” Touya says dramatically, draping a hand over his forehead. “My husband actin’ like a lunatic, talkin’ to belly.” He snickers, unable to keep the dramatics up.

“Gonna tell ‘em about that. Both of ‘em. How you were so impatient to meet them that you would just talk to my tummy. Even on day one.”

-

Hawks looks completely unworried.

"Just telling them I love them." He glances down with a fond smile. "Never too early to let them know how much they're wanted. Every chick should know they're loved." He glances back up at Touya. "Even from the very first day, yeah?" And honestly, he's a hero. Stuff can happen to heroes and there's no reason to ever delay or regret things unsaid. Not with his family.

-

Fuck, Hawks is so cute. The first time around, this stuff always used to irritate him. Now, it’s almost endearing, if a little silly.

“Yeah?” Touya places his hands on top of Hawks’ giving them a squeeze before tearing his eyes away from his lover’s and down to his stomach. There’s not a single trace of evidence that there could possibly be anything in there.

“Uh. Hey, lil sea monkey.” Okay, he feels dumb as hell. His cheeks flush a bit, and he glances back up at Hawks.

-

He looks up at his mate, golden wide. Somehow it never crossed his mind that Touya would talk to their chick.

Hey, lil sea monkey.

Hawks flashes him an encouraging smile, urging him silently to keep trying.

-

He’s cornered himself into this by starting to say anything at all. Now, Touya can’t possibly let Hawks down when he looks so damn excited that he’s trying.

“I, uh. Don’t really know what to say. Your other dad’s better at this stuff.” He mumbles, brushing his thumb over Hawks’ hands. “But I’m real excited to meet you. All of us are.” His cheeks turn from pink to red very quickly.

-

Is it possible for a heart to melt? Cause he's pretty sure his just did.

Hawks gently rubs his thumb over his mate's hand, returning the gesture.

"Don't let him fool you, baby feathers. He's soft as they come, just pretends he's not." Hawks smiles down. "He's right though. We're really excited for you. Your big brother will be too."

-

Touya snorts at the accusation. Soft as they come. Yeah, not quite. “Gonna have the sweetest big brother.” He promises gently. “And parents who’re gonna love you so much. You’re set up, little bird.” They’re not gonna want for anything.

He lifts his eyes to Hawks again. “They’re gonna have the same age gap me and Fuyu did.” It just sort of clicked in his head. It’s not an important fact, but an interesting one.

-

"Yeah?" Touya so rarely talks about his family.

"Fuyu- she's your sister, right?" He wonders if this time is going to be the exception. He thinks Touya won't talk about them simply because they mean so much to him.

-

“Yeah. Fuyumi.” Has he not mentioned her by name before? Damn. He supposes it’s never come up. It’s not like he thinks about them, really. “She’s a year younger than me. Then I had two little brothers. Natsuo is five years younger and Shouto is… eight years younger?” He looks up at the ceiling while he mentally does the math. “Yeah, eight.”

-

"Such a big family." Hawks lets out a little awe-filled coo. "And you're the big brother." Why does that fill him with so much love? He can just imagine big brother Touya, looking after his siblings like he does Ai.

"I'm jealous." he admits with a smile. "Always wanted brothers and sisters."

-

Touya raises an eyebrow. A big family, huh? That’s what Hawks wanted. “Heh! In age only. Fuyu and I were close in age, and she was always helluva lot more mature than I was. And I used to be a lil runty. People always thought she was the big sibling.”

Always wanted brothers and sisters.

“Not all it’s cracked up to be.” He says with a shrug. “Spent about as much time fighting as we did getting along.” He can vaguely recall picking fights with Natsuo when his little brother was too little to defend himself properly. Yeah, that backfired. Fucker sprang up like a tree out of nowhere.

The thought has him frowning a bit, a strange sense of melancholy settling in the pit of his stomach. “But I guess they were the only good thing about my childhood. Honestly, part’a why I wanted another. So Ai could have that.”

-

The look Hawks gives his mate is so completely full of love.

So Ai could have that.

Touya's giving their chick everything. He's going to owe this man until the day he dies. He's single-handedly given the avian a flock and a family and real, genuine love. He owes Touya so, so much. Too much to even begin to put into words.

"Yeah. He'll like that."

-

“Even when they get into fights.” He agrees. Touya has no doubt in his mind about that. “Gonna be the sweetest big brother. Can already tell he ain’t ever gonna hurt a damn fly.” He’s the most affectionate, loving, cutest kid.

And suddenly Touya can only think about how badly he wants to hold his son.

“…. Think he’s awake?”

-

Hawks huffs a soft laugh.

"Can't even imagine little Ai fighting with anyone." he admits. "His little sibling is gonna walk all over him."

.... Think he's awake?

Hawks pauses for a moment, concentrating on the feathers in the nursery.

"Sure is. Playing with his duckie." Hawks assumes. He's cooing up a storm and there's nothing else in his crib for him to play with.

-

Touya snorts and shakes his head. “That ugly fuckin’ duck.” He has no idea why, but suddenly he feel like he might cry. Is it too early to blame on the pregnancy?

“I— Can we—? Maybe, clean up a little and then bring him into the nest for a while?”

-

He couldn't wipe the smile off his face if he tried.

"Yeah, let's do that."

Hawks pushes himself up and off the couch, bending to scoop up his mate. Just like he always did when Touya was pregnant last time.

"C'mon, hot stuff. Shower time, then family time."

-

Touya slips his arms around the avian’s shoulders like it’s second nature. It basically is, when the bastard used to carry him around like a damn princess for months.

“Don’t even know if you knocked me up yet and you’re already givin’ me the royal treatment again.” He bitches half-heartedly. “Don’t have to carry me around when I’m still feelin’ fine, y’know. Gonna need to save your energy for when I’m a walkin’ planet.”

-

His mate snuggles close and Hawks drops a kiss on him as he carries Touya to the bathroom.

"Always get the royal treatment, hot stuff." He quirks a cheeky smile. "Gotta treat my pillow princess right." Fuck, he loves the low key grumbling his mate does. "Got plenty of energy, whether you're a planet or a star." Okay, that was sappy. He doesn't even care though. "Gonna be carryin' you around like this when we're old and grey."

When they reach the bathroom, Hawks lets him down in the shower and turns on the water. He knows by now that the cold doesn't bother his mate, so he adjusts it with Touya under the spray. He's right though, they don't even know yet but Hawks' instincts are going wild already. Maybe he does know. Even if that seems a little crazy.

-

“Thought you were gonna be young and handsome forever.” Touya snarks back in retaliation for the pillow princess remark.

Once he’s on his feet, he can feel the mess leaking out of him, and as soon as there’s water spraying against his back, he reaches between them to wipe whatever is sticking to his thighs and holding it out to get rinsed down the drain. When he stands upright, he looks no better than a soaked cat, shaggy hair clinging to his forehead and in his face. “C’mon, cold ain’t gonna hurt you. Just stay close to me.”

-

Hawks shakes his head. "Nope. I'm good. I'll wait till it's warm." He flashes his mate a smile, grinning at the shag look.

"How're you so gorgeous, hot stuff?" He reaches for Touya, pushing fingers into his hair and pulling his mate down for a kiss. "We make the cutest chicks." He plants another kiss on Touya's mouth. "Don't you go washing all my cum down the drain, sweet thing." He clicks his tongue. "Wasteful little mate."

-

Touya goes into the kiss easily, even when his mind is half on the temptation to pull Hawks in after him. “If I wash it out, you’ll just have to give me more, soon as possible.” He teases, going in for a third kiss when Hawks doesn’t make the move to.

“Really hope the next one looks like you. Pretty gold eyes. Your smile, too. I hope they have that.” Not that he’ll be disappointed if they look like him. Ai is genuinely one of the most beautiful babies he’s ever seen. He could be on fuckin’ diaper ads.

-

The third kiss might be the sweetest, probably because Touya starts it.

"You be careful or I'm gonna give you more right now in the shower." Hawks threatens idly. Or maybe not idly. If his mate wants it, he'll summon up the energy.

Really hope the next one looks like you.

The avian grins. "I don't. Ai looks like you and he's pretty much the cutest chick on earth." He bites his lip. "And don't even start me on your smile, sweet thing. First time I saw you smile my knees just about gave out." He gives his wings a flutter. "Lucky I had these or I was going down."

-

Touya snorts at Hawks’ blatant flirting, cheeks pinkening a bit. He pushes his hair back with both hands until it’s completely away from his forehead. “You’re so full of it. The first time I smiled around you, it was probably at your expense.” He can’t remember the first time he’d smiled around Hawks, but that sounds like him.

“Didn’t like your smile, up until I saw your real one. You’ve got different smiles, yknow that? The one you always gave me was so fake.” He reaches forward to hold Hawks’ jaw and brush his thumb over his cheek. “First time you gave me a genuine one was when I told you I was pregnant. If I’m honest, that was probably when I started to fall for you. From that point on, I’d challenge myself to get more of those pretty smiles outta you. A joke that wasn’t so mean spirited, lettin’ you indulge in fantasies about Ai. Next thing I knew, I was fuckin’ cooking for you and greeting you at the door just to get a fix of it.”

-

Hawks rewards him unintentionally with the exact smile he's talking about, feathers fluffing happily.

"Yeah? Didn't know my mate was so easy to please." He loves it. So much. The idea of Touya indulging him just cause he wanted to see Hawks smile.

He climbs into the shower, clinging to his mate despite how warm the water is now.

"First time I saw you smile you didn't know I was watching." Hawks gets a secretive look on his face. "Came to meet you in one of those dingy ass alleys and there you were squattin' down. Thought you were setting fire to something but nope, had a dirty ass kitten climbing all over you. Never seen you look like that before. All soft and sweet. Didn't know you could be like that." He remembers not knowing what to make of it. Especially when Touya caught sight of him and that scowl returned. "Thought you were beautiful." he admits.

-

Touya groans, nuzzling into the avian’s hair. “You didn’t see shit.” He grumbles, squeezing him tightly like a half-hearted threat to crush him. Really, anything he says here will make him sound lame as shit. Because I’m all honesty, he did that a lot; Hung out with dirty alley cats, giving them food he shoplifted from nearby convenience stores, setting up little makeshift garbage forts for them to hide when it rained. Mostly, he just bitched at them. About anything and everything that he couldn’t share with anyone else.

His hold on the avian loosens and he leans over to snatch soap off of the shelf and start to wash them down, starting with Hawks’ ass. Okay, really, it’s just a thinly veiled attempt at groping him.surprised you didn’t say anything. Coulda never let me live it down.”

-

"Thought I hallucinated it." the avian admits cheekily. "Even if I told anyone, they'd never believe me. Big bad Dabi all soft for a sweet lil' kitten." He toes up to kiss along Touya's throat, wriggling his ass a bit in his mate's hold. "Besides, wasn't gonna let anyone else know how adorable you are. They coulda stolen you right out from under me."

He wraps his arms around his mate's neck and joins his hands there, leaning back to hang off Touya. "If you wanna feel me up you don't gotta be sneaky about it, hot stuff. M' all yours."

-

“Damn flirt.” He mumbles, tilting his head to the side for Hawks to kiss along his throat.

At being called out on feeling up his ass, he grabs a handful of it and gives it a squeeze. “Probably did hallucinate it. Why the fuck would I care about some scruffy, flea-infested little runt in an alley? Probably saw me putting out a cigarette or somethin’ and there happened to be a cat there.”

-

Hawks grins widely. "Never said it was a runt. Givin' yourself away over there, gorgeous."

He bites his bottom lip when his mate gets more obvious with his groping. They just made love, but Hawks is already getting riled up again. His instincts really are excited right now.

"Don't you be starting something you don't intend to finish." he warns. Funny how quicky his mood's gone from rough to teasing.

-

Okay, Touya did start it, but he didn’t think Hawks would be able to go again. “Easy there, birdass.” He teases, releasing his grip on the avian’s ass and stealing another, quick kiss. “Fuckin’ insatiable. Isn’t goin’ more rounds supposed to be the one thing I have over you?” He bitches mindlessly, lathering more soap into his hands and working it onto his lover’s chest.

-

Hawks grins at his mate.

"Not when there's a chick on the line. If I've gotta work myself to the bone, then I will." There's a joke in there somewhere. Hawks snorts at it. "Besides, how'm I sposed to resist when my pretty mate is getting all grabby. Really it's your fault." he points out jovially. He helps himself to the soap while Touya's busy with his chest and lathers his hands to start on his mate. "Thought you knew all about playing with fire."

-

“To the bone, huh?” The humor isn’t lost on Touya, either, and it has him grinning wildly. “It ain’t my fault. How am I supposed to resist gettin’ grabby when my pretty mate is flaunting his body in front’a me? It would be a crime not to thoroughly appreciate you.”

It’s not the first time they’ve washed each other in the shower, but it really hits him now, while their hands are casually all over each other, that this is the sort of intimate act he wouldn’t have ever imagined doing with anyone before Hawks. “Kinda like when we do this.”

-

Hawks grins up at him, wriggling under his mate's hands.

"Appreciate me more, then." the avian tempts.

But his mate's look loses it's edge, going soft and sweet. Hawks feels his wings relax at it, his own chest going warm.

"Mm, me too." His hands on Touya's chest slow, less from washing and more to holding. "Love being close with you like this. Never thought I'd have this with someone."

-

“Me neither.” He mumbles, slipping his hands around the avian to rest on the small of his back, fingers locked together to keep him close. “I know the hero thing ain’t all rainbows and sunshine for you, but it still blows my mind you thought you’d never find this. Coulda literally had anyone, and you chose possibly the worst person you could’ve for your reputation. Talk about playin’ with fire. You got no sense of self preservation.”

-

He frowns at Touya, watching up at the Todoroki when he pulls him close.

"Is it really so hard to believe?" he asks softly. "Sure, wouldn'tve been hard to find someone to say yes but-" He shrugs. "Woulda spent all my time trying to live up to my hero image for them. Never would've been myself."

-

“Mm, guess that’s true.” Touya hums, feigning consideration. “Wouldn’t want ‘em to find out what a fuckin’ dweeb you are behind closed doors. Not charming at all.” He waggles his eyebrows and presses an obnoxiously loud kiss to his cheek.

“You do got that hero thing goin’ on sometimes, though. Always carryin’ me around an’ shit like I don’t weigh anything. Just about stole my brew to away the first time you did it. Even I had a moment of… Okay, think I get it now.”

-

Not charming at all.

Touya's clearly teasing him, but hearing that still puts Hawks on edge a little.

When he goes on to talk about how much he likes the avian's hero thing, Hawks feels his heart drop. He knows he's taking it wrong, it just- feels bad when he was being so vulnerable.

"Heh yeah, fans always wanting me to carry them around and stuff. You can ask me anytime."

-

Touya rolls his eyes and presses another kiss to Hawks’ cheek, a little more genuine this time. “Nah. Already spoil me too much.” He kisses up Hawks’ cheekbone to the end of his jaw. “Like you better when you’re relaxed.” More kisses trail down his jaw, until he’s at his throat. “And honestly, I think anyone would agree, if they got the chance to know you like I know you.”

-

It helps a little to hear that. He's being too sensitive and he knows it. Hawks wraps his arms around his mate's neck and presses close, tilting his head for more reassuring kisses.

"You're so full of shit." They're going to have another chick. He needs to be thinking about that instead of dumb things. He promised himself he'd be better for Ai.

-

Touya bites down abruptly at the accusation. “Since when?” He grumbles, kissing the spot he just assaulted. “M’not. The winks and sexy smirks only get you so far. Work for the non-personal shit.” He kisses down to his collar bone, peppering little butterfly kisses across his chest until he’s at the opposite one. “But in a relationship, people wanna know they’ve got a partner that’s kind and loving and listens and makes time and tries to understand, yeah?“

He kisses up his throat again, a little faster than he came down the other side. Because he’s maybe getting a little impatient to steal a real kiss.

“You’re basically the perfect partner. I ain’t some nutjob for thinkin’ that. And yeah….” He pauses to finish his pathing across his other cheek. “To my dismay, you’re mayyybe a little charming.” He pecks his mouth. “Even when you’re stuffin’ your face full’a food or blobbin’ on the couch tryin’ to find the will to clean the spit up off your shirt.” He comes in for another kiss, slower and gentler.

-

He's not sure why, but the more Touya tries to reassure him, the worse it feels.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Trained me well." They taught him all that, the kind and the listening and the trying. Makes the fans happy. And the charming and the blobbing, he thinks that's all relatively normal.

The stuff he was talking about was stuff he can't show the rest of the world. His quirk. His bad days. His shitty moods. Hawks thinks Touya's the only one who would ever accept those things about him. He guesses Touya's right though, the charming and carrying around and the kind and stuff, it makes up for it he supposes. He's struck by the intrusive thought of wondering if Ai was a difficult chick, would Touya still want him?

He's distracted by the thought when his mate kisses him, struggling to focus on it. He does eventually get there though, giving Touya all his attention.

-

Touya pulls away almost as soon as Hawks starts to give back into it. He studies the avian’s face, brow furrowed. Because he’s way too distracted, and usually that means Hawks is all in his own head. “I say something wrong?”

-

He blinks at his mate, slow to process the sudden end of the kiss.

"No? No. I'm good." He gives the Todoroki a tentative smile. "Sorry. Got distracted for a second there. I'm with you, hot stuff." He reaches past his mate for the shampoo. "You wanted family time, yeah? Gotta get you squeaky clean."

-

Touya frowns and catches Hawks’ wrist, gently pushing it back towards him. “Hey, don’t gimme that shit. What were you thinkin’ about?”

-

He squirms under the look, deeply uncomfortable. Because he knows his mate will be pissed and he's just getting in his own head. And he wants the family time, very much. Especially when he's feeling like this.

"C'mon Dabs." He tries for a smile. "Thought you wanted to hang for family time?"

-

“Baby,” He says on a sigh, bringing a hand up to hold his lover’s face. “Didn’t I tell you I can spot your real smiles from a mile away? This ain’t one of them. So talk to me.”

It dawns on him suddenly that he might seriously be considering if he had other options. What else would he be getting worked up about? And why wouldn’t they be able to have family time if he tells him? “I do. We can still do that. After you talk to me.”

-

He's not taking no for an answer. At all.

"It's dumb. Don't worry about it. Forget it. Just thinking too much." Hawks excuses. "Really. It's fine. I'm just being sensitive." He huffs a nervous laugh. "C'mon, you promised me family time."

-

“Why wouldn’t we have family time if you talked to me?” He doesn’t mean for it to come out as distrusting as it does, but… Well, he’s not fucking answering him. How could he not assume the worst? “I ain’t forgetting about it, Hawks.”

-

He shrugs, awkward. "That's not what I meant. I just- I wanted to spend time with you and him, not talk about this stuff." Hawks shakes his head. "M'just- it's not just my wings that're too fast. My head is too sometimes. Gets me in trouble." He offers his mate what he hopes is a convincing smile. "All good, Dabs."

-

“I know that better than anyone.” Touya says, frown only deepening. “S’why I asked. C’mon. Talk to me.” Why the hell is he so adamant against it? “What’s bothering you?”

-

Hawks sighs. He loves his mate's passion, but he hates when it gets him like this, refusing to take no for an answer.

"Would you still love Ai if he wasn't such a good chick?"

Hawks realizes his mistake the second it's out of his mouth. He doesn't know if Touya loves their chick. He knows Touya promised to try. And he knows it's been getting better, that it seems so much less forced than it used to. But maybe he's assuming too much here.

-

That’s- Not at all what Touya was expecting. His mind had gone off in a completely different direction than Hawks’ did. Somehow, though, it’s not much of a relief.

He flounders a bit, having to recover from being hit totally blindsided by the question. “What’s that supposed to mean? That I only want him ‘cause he’s easy?” His arms drop to his side, releasing the hold he has on Hawks. “I wanted to have another kid with you, Hawks. You think it didn’t cross my mind how rare it is for a baby to be so sweet and well behaved? Turned that over in my head a million times before I brought it up. If I’d want a kid that had a bad temperament or… Somethin’. Of course I would still love him if he wasn’t a good chick.”

-

His feathers twitch, giving away his anxiety over the discussion. Touya says he loves him. He says he loves their chick.

"Even though he's got wings and stuff? And talons? And he doesn't drink milk? And he can't-" Not can't, he'll learn, it'll just take a while. "-doesn't talk yet?"

-

It clicks into place suddenly where all of this is coming from. All those things he’s listing, they’re not just about Ai, they’re about himself.

Touya sighs in relief before huffing out a little laugh. “Baby. Is that what you’re worried about?” How could he have forgotten to tell him how much he loves about all of those things, too?

“I love you, Hawks. All of you.” He reaches for him again, hands settling on the avian’s hips. “I love your talons, I love your teeth. I love your eyes. I love your wings and the sounds you make and your adorable fixation on shiny things. Your quirk’s never bothered me, pretty bird. Never. And it doesn’t bother me that he’s got it, either. Love his flappy lil’ wings and his chirps and whistles. Love it all.”

-

He hates how easily his mate cottons on, but it's a relief not to have to spell it out. Hawks feels his cheeks flush at the little laugh Touya emits.

"It's not- it's just-" He flounders a bit. "I mean- you said-" God, he can't string words into a sentence right now. "You're the only one I can trust with these things. You're wrong, it doesn't matter how many people want me, none of them know me. They want the hero, they want Hawks from the interviews. You're the only one who wants me. I just- you made it sound like it was the hero stuff you want." He's talking himself into a circle, just like his thoughts. "It's okay if that's it. It makes up for all the weird shit, right?" He huffs a nervous laugh.

-

You made it sound like it was the hero stuff you want.

Touya leans forward and plops his forehead against Hawks’ shoulders, shaking his head in disbelief. “Fuckin’ hell, Hawks. You got a few screws loose up in there?” He plants a quick kiss onto his shoulder before lifting his head again so Hawks can see he’s being serious.

“Nothin’ is making up for anything. I mean it. I love everything about you. Being a hero— It’s part of who you are. Just like bein’ a villain is part of who I am. Always gonna have some rude dickhead tendencies, same way you’re gonna have some chivalrous ones. If it was the hero bullshit I was after, why would it have taken me so long to have anything to do with you, huh? If anything, that was the hardest part for me to accept, and the slowest part to fall in love with. C’mon, baby, you know I never cared about that shit.“

-

"I know." he admits, sounding slightly frustrated. If he's frustrated though, it's with himself. "I'm sorry. I just- I'm sorry." He looks up at Touya, golden pleading. "Can we just- go get Ai and get in the nest? Please?"

-

Touya plants a quick kiss on his mouth. “S’fine. I get it.” If there’s one thing he’s learned about Hawks, it’s just how much his insecurities about his quirk rule his head sometimes. He’s the one who should’ve figured it out sooner.

He twists around, feeling behind himself blindly for the shower valve. “Yeah, let’s do that. Dry off first, birdass, I ain’t gonna walk over soppy carpet after you.”

-

As soon as the shower's off, Hawks starts flapping his wings, spraying water everywhere. It's the quickest way he knows to shed the moisture since his mate doesn't want him wet.

-

Touya makes a sound of surprise, arms coming up to shield his face from the hundred of water droplets being flicked everywhere. It always reminds him of one of those tiny little birds in a bird bath when Hawks does this.

“Not what I meant-“ He leans forward to scoop Hawks up from underneath his ass. “-you little shit.” If there’s one benefit he gets out of Hawks’ ridiculously oversized shower, it’s that he can play a little rough with the avian when they’re in here with minimal risk of an elbow slamming into the wall. “Duck.” He warns as he nudges the shower open and steps out, bending at the knees slightly so Hawks doesn’t bump his head.

-

There's a little thrill of excitement that goes through him when his mate scoops him up, scolding him all the while. Somehow- that easy banter feels better than all the reassurances in the world. It's everything to Hawks. Touya is everything to Hawks. How could he have thought otherwise?

He ducks when his mate tells him to, careful not to smack his head.

Hawks decides it's not hazardous enough, being carried around a slippery bathroom, and proceeds to kiss up on his mate, showering the little shows of affection down on Touya. He really was getting in his own head, wasn't he? If there's anyone who loves him as he is, it's his mate.

-

There it is. His sudden enthusiastic affection that tells Touya he’s doing it right. He grins into the kisses, nose scrunching up as he tries to brace himself against the counter. “Gonna—kill us both.” He gets out, tilting his head up to catch some of the kisses onto his mouth.

“Fuck, I love you.” He wants to tell him to never doubt that again, but… Well, hadn’t he also doubted Hawks, for a second there, too? Maybe there are worse things than reassuring each other every so often. “Always gonna love you- And Ai- And the next one, too.”

-

Hawks hums down at his mate, relieved at the man's beatific smiles and reassuring words. It's exactly what he needs.

"Love you, too." Hawks breathes, pausing to nuzzle his mate. "M'sorry- for getting in my head." He presses kisses along Touya's throat. "Just- think too hard sometimes." Hawks adds more kisses. "Thanks for being so patient with me."

-

Touya nods, considering it. “Just— Maybe let me know that you still love me before you go? Or that we’ll get past this, but you need to be in the sky.” If it’s phrased like that, he might not mind it as much. It’s very different when Hawks simply tells him he’s gotta go and takes off in the middle of a fight. “I can do the same. I know- Sometimes it’s hard to say shit like that when you’re seething.”

-

He nods hesitantly. He can do that. He remembers how hurt his mate was the one time he didn't return the sentiment. No matter how upset or hurt Hawks is, he never wants Touya to feel like he doesn't love him.

"Okay. I'm sorry." He looks up into azure. "No matter where we are, if we're angry or upset or whatever, I always love you, Dabs. You're my mate. You're my person. No matter what."

-

“Same goes for me, okay?” He noses a little closer. “Always gonna be my baby. Always gonna keep this ring on my finger even when I wanna wring your neck.” He grins and plants a kiss on his mouth. “Never gonna stop loving you, either. Don’t think I could if I tried.”

He drags his hands down the avian’s back and down his thighs. “Is there anything else that bothers you? Anything you need from me?”

-

He plants another short kiss on his mate's mouth, a non-verbal show of gratitude for always understanding, always being so sweet to him.

Is there anything else that bothers you?

Hawks shakes his head immediately, and then pauses to think.

"Could we- talk about tonight?" Golden searches azure uncertainly. "The sex I mean. It wasn't like it usually is."

-

The sex? That’s about the furthest thing from a problem. Right? At least, Touya thought so. He pulls away a bit to meet Hawks’ gaze without being so crowded into his breathing space. “What about it? You didn’t like it?”

-

Touya pulls away and the avian swallows, wondering if maybe he shouldn'tve brought it up.

"Well, I mean, from day one you said it was different from what you're used to. And I guess I don't really know what to make of it. I don't really know what you want, or what you like?" He watches up at Touya. "Tonight I was kind of rough. And I didn't ask you first. You've just said stuff before that made me think it'd be okay."

-

Oh. Oh. He’s worried about that? Azure softens, and he gives Hawks’ thighs a little squeeze. “It’s more than okay. It was rough, yeah, but not painful. Had me seeing stars.”

His hands drag back up the avian’s thighs and settle on his hips. “Kinda hot when you get like that. All domineering.”

-

Touya relaxes and Hawks does the same.

"Is that what you like then? Domineering partners?" Does that mean he doesn't like fucking Hawks? Because the avian really, really enjoyed getting fucked by his mate.

-

“I like both.” Touya says with a shrug. “Depends on what I’m in the mood for. Think it’s hot as hell when you get domineering with me—did it a lot during your season—but also got off countless times when you worked late, thinkin’ about showing up and railing you over your desk.” His gives him a slow, lazy grin, eyes going hooded. “Not to mention how helpless you looked underneath me when I fucked you in the ass last time.”

-

Okay, so Touya can read his mind. He's not the least bit surprised by this.

The blond flushes, averting his eyes. "I liked that. A lot." Hawks forces his gaze back up. "Is that what you want me to do though? Be rougher with you? And more domineering?"

-

Touya hums, turning the question over in his head a little before answering. “I don’t know.” He admits. “It’s hot. I like it when you’re rough with me. But if I’m not sure I’d want it like that all the time, y’know? Kinda got me hooked on the slow and sweet, too. There’s a time and place for both.” He releases his hold on Hawks so he can reach around on the counter for his brush before bringing it up and gently pushing it through Hawks’ hair before it gets coarse and tangled while air-drying.

“How about you get domineering with me when the mood strikes. And I’ll do the same for you. Fair enough?” He pauses his brushing and pulls away slightly to get a glimpse into his eyes. “What about you? You said you liked it when I fucked you. Do you have a preference on topping or bottoming? Havin’ it rough or slow?” Cause he’s done all of the above by now.

-

He's not sure that's exactly what he was looking for. 'Domineering' and 'rough' - he was more looking for specifics. There's a lot of nuance in between. It seems to be all Touya's concerned about though. So he supposes that's what matters.

The avian shrugs. "I don't know." he answers honestly. "I like what you do."

-

“Sounds a lot like you don’t really care.” He points out. “C’mon, pretty bird. Gotta have some preferences. Or some kinda secret, dark fantasies. Anything you want me to try or do more of?”

-

"No, I care. Of course I care. Didn't mean to come across that way." Hawks rushes to assure his mate.

"I'm just-" He shrugs. "Don't have a ton of experience with this, yeah? I'm serious though, I like everything you've done. Love the way you sass at me then go soft the second I do you just right. Loved being under you." He studies his mate. "Pretty sure you've been keeping it tame for me though?"

-

Touya shrugs and starts to brush the avian’s hair again, careful not to snag on any knots too harshly. “Thought you liked it more tame.” He admits. “That’s not a bad thing. Just kinda assumed. When I fucked you that one time- That was for me. I got carried away. But if you like it, I can do it more often. We can find out what your limits are and what you like best.”

He quirks an eyebrow, realizing belatedly exactly what Hawks said. “Don’t have a ton of experience? Thought you had plenty of bedmates before me. None of ‘em ever wanted to try anything with you?”

-

For the first minute he thought the hairbrush was weird, but now he's realizing it's actually helping keep his brain from spinning out. Which is probably odd, he doubts Touya knows how much it helps.

"I really liked you fucking me." Hawks reinforces. "That night in the bar when you said you were gonna bend me over, that's pretty much the only reason I followed you up those stairs." Hawks admits.

"I have experience." he frowns. "Lots of it. Just- mostly the kind where I get approached by someone who wants to get fucked by number two. It's pretty standard stuff when they all want the same thing."

-

“Okay. Then I’ll fuck you more often.” Touya agrees easily. It’s not exactly pulling teeth to get him to do it. More often than not, he probably prefers being in charge. He’s just… A little lazy sometimes. Always. And Hawks is so good at enabling it.

“And what does getting fucked by the number two entail? Cause I refuse to believe everyone that approached you was that standardly vanilla.” He teases, bringing his free hand up to hold his hair while he tries to work out a knot the brush snagged on. “That rabbit you used to fuck doesn’t seem like the type. Seems like she’d be into some freaky shit at a glance.”

-

He colors a bit at that. Okay, Touya has a point. "Yeah, she's uh- she wasn't like the rest." He feels a bit awkward talking about this. "Probably why it went on for so long. Normally people just wanted me to fuck them. Be all hero-y. The weirdest request I ever got was to roleplay saving them." He huffs an awkward laugh. "Didn't really sleep with anyone more than once till Rumi came along. Wouldn't say she was into anything freaky, but she usually liked to do the fucking." He shrugs. "Wasn't my first go with a strap."

-

It is most definitely not the first time Touya’s heard of Hawks fucking the rabbit hero. And it’s not the first time he’s assumed said hero probably fucked Hawks in the ass. Hell, it’s not like Dabi doesn’t have his fair share of experience in this field.

Still, hearing him say it- That it wasn’t his first go with a strap. Knowing who and how, it paints just a little too vivid of an image, and before he can even identify the flash of jealousy that courses through him, he’s gripping Hawks’ hair perhaps a little too hard, his eyes narrowed and refusing to meet Hawks’ until the wave passes him.

“That so?” He asks, as nonchalant as possible as he wills his jaw to relax. When had he clenched it to begin with? “Must’a been weird. The hero roleplay.”

-

There's a weird look on Touya's face that tells him his mate wasn't expecting that answer. When a hand tightens in his hair, Hawks knows for sure.

He stays still through it, eyes on his mate as he works through whatever he's thinking. Touya brought this up, to be fair, but it's gotta feel weird when he's waiting to find out if he's carrying Hawks' chick.

His tone doesn't fool the avian at all.

"Yeah. Really weird." he admits. "And it happened more times than I wanna think about. Had one that wanted a fuck or die thing. Like rescuing them involved my dick." He waggles his eyebrows at his mate, trying to relax him a bit with humor. "If you can picture me standin' on the bed declaring I'm here to save you ma'am, and pretending to fight off invisible bad guys." He paints a pretty vivid picture for his mate. "Some of them were really into it."

-

Any other time, Touya’s sure he would be cackling at the ridiculous image Hawks painted for him. And over what kind of people are ridiculous enough to be turned on by something like that. But he’s not really listening. Not when his mind is on Rumi. He hates how casually Hawks addresses her, even now. Hates it even more when the thought crosses his mind that she was so good in bed that she’s the only one he wanted to continue fucking, more than once.

It’s not fair of him to get worked up by it. Really, he can’t wrap his head around why it’s got him so worked up to begin with. She’s in the past. Touya’s his mate. They’re having a second kid together and they’re getting married. Still, that jealous pit in his stomach only seems to grow.

He loosens his hold on Hawks’ hair, working the brush through it one final time to undo the damage he caused to it before setting it on the counter. “How about you dry your feathers as best as you can. I’ll go get Ai and meet you in bed.”

-

Not even a twitch of a smile out of his mate. Hawks waits, letting him process whatever is in his head.

Except instead of talking about it, his mate pulls away.

"No. Hey. Touy, I'll dry off in a minute. Talk to me first, yeah? What's wrong?" He has a hunch what's wrong, but he needs his mate to voice this. Hawks reaches for his mate's hands to pull him back over, squeezing them gently. "Talk to me, sweetheart?"

-

It takes virtually no effort to get Touya talking about it, apparently. Unlike Hawks, who has to be pried open like a fucking clam, Touya’s more of a ticking time bomb, waiting for an excuse to blow up.

He lets Hawks take his hands, only to grip the avian’s harshly, his fingertips heating far beyond the comfortable warmth he’s used to giving nowadays and into something almost malicious. “What’s wrong…” He starts through gritted teeth. “Is that if I ever see her touch you again, I’m gonna fuckin’ kill her.”

Shit. Too much. Reel it in.

He releases his hold on Hawks’ hands and forces himself to reign his quirk in. It’s a struggle after the abrupt outburst.

-

He gets about a dozen words and a nice new set of first degree burns out of his mate for urging him to talk. Hawks doesn't have to pull away from the tight grip because Touya lets him go. The avian goes straight back in though, he's never been good at the whole self preservation jam.

"Touy. You're my mate." He makes it sound like Hawks is some damsel when he talks about Rumi 'touching him again'. "I'm a big boy, not in any danger of being touched when I don't wanna be, yeah? Only one I want touching me is you, Touy."

-

“Is that so?” It’s a fight not to fall into his old, mean habits. Not to sneer and intimidate and bully. He’s trying. It’s been a while since he’s felt himself get riled up like this; And so abruptly, at that. “How do I know that? Since she was apparently such a good fuck you kept seeing her. What if you miss it? Bet you only stopped because you didn’t have time with all your plans to stab me in the back.” Too far. Way too far.

He folds his arms over his chest, drawing in tight like he’s trying to keep himself small, contained. “I don’t want to see her touch you at all. Don’t care if it’s a fucking hug.”

-

He's lashing out. There's a joke about pregnancy hormones on the edge of the avian's tongue but he thinks his mate might burn the place down if he gives it voice. Instead, Hawks waits patiently for him to get it out. This is the flip side of the passion the avian loves so much in him, the ugly side. It's better if Touya gets it out like so much poison.

"Because you're the only person I want." Hawks asserts calmly. "She and I, we stopped seeing eachother a year before you and I met. It ended naturally, yeah? Nothing left there. Over before I even knew you existed."

Hawks squeezes his mate's hand, ignoring the sting. "You're the only one I want. Only have eyes for you. Not gonna be hugging her any time soon."

-

Right. A year before they met. He vaguely recalls him saying that last time, too. And he vaguely recalls having the thought that if it hadn’t been so long ago, it would’ve bothered him. Because it was a long time ago.

He relaxes just a bit, but it’s enough to regain control of his quirk, to draw it back. Touya eyes the avian a little warily, not sure he’s going to like the answer if he asks the questions on the tip of his tongue. He goes for it anyway. “You don’t think about her anymore? Never missed her?”

-

That seems to calm Touya down a little bit. Just a little bit. He still has to ask the obvious question, and Hawks has to give the obvious answer. It's probably a good thing Touya doesn't know why they stopped the whole FWB thing, because he probably wouldn't believe the hero.

"Nope. I don't. My head's full of you. And of Ai. I think about my family, cause you're the most important people in my world. You're everything to me." He gives his mate a gentle smile. "I love you, Touy."

-

Hawks isn’t really a liar. Touya pegged that long before they got together. He’s dishonest at times, but avoids outright lying whenever he can. It’s only became truer after they got together. So ultimately, he believes him when he says he doesn’t miss or think about her.

“Love you too.” He mutters, half between feeling a little stupid and still feeling ever so slightly on edge. “Who ended it?”

-

Love you too.

Hawks' soft smile turns even softer and he leans in to give his mate a peck on the mouth. He really needs to get some ointment on his hands.

Except Touya's not done. Sometimes his mate is a masochist.

Who ended it?

Touya won't like this. Hawks takes a fortifying breath and keeps that relaxed smile in place. "She did. Got dumped. Best thing that ever happened to me." he assures his mate. "Cause the second I laid eyes on you I was done."

-

She did.

Of course she did. There’s that— dishonesty through omission that crossed his mind. He’d made it seem like they had fizzled out, the interest gone. But Hawks had still been interested, hadn’t he?

Touya pulls away from the avian, bristling a bit. Best thing that ever happened to him, he says. Yeah, like that isn’t crisis management at its finest. “Bullshit.” He accuses, folding his arms again. “If she was still an option, you woulda been with her.”

Just as quickly as he’d been calming down, he’s working himself up again. “I’m— I’m gonna go out on the balcony for a minute.” Because he’s not oblivious to the burns he left on Hawks. And he’s not stupid enough to believe he won’t get heated again.

-

Wait, he's taking off, just like that?

Hawks flounders a bit, because they just talked about this, about giving eachother space and communicating and stuff. He really, really doesn't like his mate walking away upset like this. And what's Hawks gonna do? He'd be stupid to go get Ai right now, because if Touya comes back worked up, well, Hawks doesn't think he'd ever hurt their chick deliberately, but he's pretty worked up right now. So he's gonna what, pace around the bedroom alone?

"Can I come with you?"

-

Touya wants to snap at him. To tell him not to go anywhere near him. Especially with the distinct lack of denial that he’d still be with the rabbit hero if he could be.

But they just had this conversation not ten minutes ago. And Touya was serious about trying. He’d have to be a real asshole to go back on it so quickly. “Whatever.” He answers, not waiting to see if Hawks does or doesn’t tag along as he steps back into the bedroom to pull a pair of pants on and swipe his pack of cigarettes from off the dresser.

Before Hawks can give him shit, he waves them over his shoulder on his way out the door. “Not smokin’ ‘em.”

-

Honestly, giving him shit over smokes is the last thing on Hawks' mind. It's comforting to know that, even upset, Touya's still mindful of their chick.

Hawks trails after him, pulling on his own sweats, ignoring the way they stick to his damp skin.

He follows his mate out the door and onto the balcony, staying a few feet back so he can take Touya's lead on what he wants right now. What Hawks wants is to talk more. He said back in there that the avian would still be with her. He's wrong about that, but the whole leaving thing kind of took priority and now he's not sure whether to say anything since really, Touya wanting to get outside is probably to get some peace and quiet and get away from the discussion. So he stays quiet, content just not to be turned out of his mate's presence.

-

Touya sits down in his favorite of the patio chairs, right next to his ash tray, and flicks the box of cigarettes open to pluck one out. He’ll have to destroy them to get rid of the temptation sooner or later. It’s back to patches for a while. A fact he’d considered, but still isn’t thrilled about. Instead of wasting them completely by soaking them or throwing them out, he might as well enjoy the smell.

He punches the end of it between his fingers, igniting it blue effortlessly. Thin wisps of smoke curl up from where his skin meets the paper until it dissipates into the air. He quietly watches the embers grow until there’s nearly nothing left, and then he flicks the ashes into the ashtray and pulls out a second cigarette to restart the process.

It’s impossible to ignore Hawks’ presence there, even when he’s being quiet and keeping his distance. About halfway through the second cigarette and Touya lifts his gaze to regard him. “Well? Was there more?“

-

Hawks takes his own seat. He's not sure he's welcome right beside Touya so he wanders over to the balcony railing, dropping down to sit on the ground with his back to the clear glass. There's a part of him that wants to point out the whole second hand smoke thing, but he recognizes that his mate is trying to calm down right now, so he follows his original thought and keeps quiet, letting him take the time he needs.

Well? Was there more?

The question startles him a bit and Hawks gives his mate a slightly lost look.

"More? More, what?"

-

Touya watches him, unimpressed with the cluelessness in his expression. “More you wanted to say.” About the fucking rabbit. Or about what he had with her. God, just thinking about it pisses him off. He closes his fist around the remainder of the cigarette and incinerates the thing, blue flickering from between his fingers in a show that’s definitely a little bit overkill before opening his hand and shaking the ashes out.

-

Hawks blinks at him, distracted by the flash of shiny blue.

"No. I mean, yeah. You asked if I still wanted to be with her. I don't. I don't want to be with her, ever again. You're my mate. You- my family, you guys are my everything."

He wants to get up and go to Touya, but Hawks reminds himself that his mate came out here to get some space.

-

That’s- That’s what should matter. That Hawks wants him now, and that he doesn’t want her anymore. He knows that, deep down, and it might be the only reason he’s not sending Hawks back inside to fuck right off.

But something ugly and jealous and full of hurt is swirling in his chest, and he can’t shake the thought that he’s only here because Hawks didn’t get to keep his first pick. He drops his gaze again and pulls another cigarette from the pack. “But you wanted her. Would you have had all of this with her, if you could?”

-

He gives his mate a look. Is he serious?

"Touy, we talked about this. Months ago. Rumi and I, it was a fucking thing. Can't even really call it friends with benefits, because we weren't friends. One of us got an itch or needed a date for a hero thing, we called the other. That's it. Only other time we saw eachother was work. I don't even know if she's the settling down type, or if she wants kids. Doesn't matter anyway, because I have you. Pretty sure she's found an actual squeeze, too. There was some ruckus at the last con." He has no idea what, because he doesn't keep tabs on her. But that kind of thing is almost always a jealous fan.

-

“Then why’d she end it? If it was just fucking an’ all.” There’s always a reason, isn’t there? Why would someone just stop a good thing? Clearly it was a good thing, for it to have lasted as long as it did.

He focuses on the third cigarette, lighting it up and watching the embers slowly grow.

-

Hawks huffs an inappropriate laugh, looking embarrassed.

"Um, well. Let's just say I wasn't her type afterall." He really doesn't want to talk about this. Because it was a good thing at the time. Convenient and easy. Until it wasn't.

-

“The hell does that mean?” Touya asks, glancing up from the cigarette again to level Hawks with a suspicious stare. He doesn’t know why he’s getting all shy all of the sudden. He kind of hates it.

-

Fuuuuck. He really doesn't like talking about this. He still gets shit about it the odd time. The hero community is a small one and it wasn't hard for people to figure out what happened.

"It means, Rumi doesn't like dick. And it was my dick that led her to that epiphany." Hawks brings his knees up and drops his face against them to hide it. "Go on, laugh it up. Number two turning heroes gay." He's heard it all. It's been a while since he's had to deal with the ribbing though. He almost wishes Rumi knew how to be subtle about it, but the woman is the least subtle person on earth. Everyone knew what happened.

-

Touya stares him down, even after he drops his head. Laugh it up, he says. He might have, if he wasn’t still feeling so raw about the whole thing. Instead, he lets out a breath, burning up the remainder of the third cigarette and shaking the ashes out into the tray. “It doesn’t work like that. Don’t just change sexualities overnight.” He drops the carton onto the table and leans back in his chair to watch up at the sky.

It’s… A slight relief that it happening again isn’t even really a possibility anymore. But he’s still feeling rotten about the whole thing.

-

"I know it doesn't work like that. But you try convincing the whole damn hero community. It's a running joke at this point." Hawks makes a frustrated sound.

"Rumi was great, she never said a word about my preferences, and I sure wasn't gonna point out to people that she wasn't the one getting dicked down. So it was just- a whole thing."

He shrugs. "Happy? Told you it wouldn't be a problem."

-

It shouldn’t be a problem. Hell, this shouldn’t have been a problem even when this conversation first started. Touya doesn’t know why it bothers him so much. Maybe it’s because he’d never had reoccurring partners. Maybe because, before Hawks, none of his experiences had ever meant a damn thing to him, or to anyone else.

“Yeah. Sure.” He’s not happy. But where’s talking about it going to get them? Hawks can’t change the past.

-

The avian sighs. Because he still sounds upset.

"You don't sound okay." he points out levelly. "Tell me what you need to be okay? I'll do whatever you want. Wanna meet her? You guys can compare notes or something." Just what he needs. "You can see for yourself that there's nothing there."

-

“I don’t know how to feel okay right now.” It’s about as good of communication as he can give right now, because it’s where his head is at even if it’s not helpful.

“I don’t wanna fuckin’ meet her. I don’t want her anywhere around here. I’m just— It feels like I’m fuckin’— runner up. Because you woulda never even looked in my direction if she was still fuckin’ you when we met.”

-

He really doesn't understand?

"I haven't wanted anyone but you since we met, Touy. I know you don't have instincts, so it's probably hard to understand. But you're my mate. Thst means there's no one else I want. No one else can turn my head, Touy. Only you. Wouldn't matter who showed up, even if you walked out tomorrow and were gone. I'm not gonna want anyone else." He has no idea who to explain it. "Why do you think I was so scared of you leaving? It was all new to you, learning and stuff, for me it was instant. It was so strong and so sudden that I didn't even know what it meant. The first time, at the bar, that sealed it. That was it. I was fucked and I knew it. Took months to accept it."

-

Right. His instincts. How the fuck had that slipped his mind? He lowers his gaze from the darkening sky overhead to watch Hawks, a little uncertainly.

No, he doesn’t understand the instinct thing completely. But Hawks tells him about them. And if he and the rabbit really fucked as much as Hawks is making it sound, and it meant anything, wouldn’t it have been her? Touya slouches a bit in his seat. “Was she good?” Better than me?

-

He kind of expected that question at some point.

"Yeah, I thought she was. At the time." He watches his mate carefully. "You gotta remember, I always knew I wasn't exactly straight, but I couldn't risk much of anything with men. Commission would've taken me apart. So it was all new. Was pretty upset when it ended, straight up because I knew I'd be back to hero roleplay." He quirks a smile at Touya. "Why'd you think I was so eager when you threatened to fuck me?" And with explicit commission permission too. "And then- you blew my mind Touy. I never knew sex could be like that. I though Rumi was peak. Didn't know any better. But you-" He shakes his head. "Had no idea it could feel so good. Never wanted to please someone so badly in my life. Kinda why I was asking you that stuff today by the way. Cause I do, wanna please you."

-

Touya wants to call him out on how he’s probably just telling him what he wants to hear, how he’s clearly exaggerating it, but— But he knows Hawks isn’t doing any of those things. Not when his expression is so damn earnest. Despite everything he feels his cheeks heat ever so slightly.

He’s got loads of experience under his belt. He shouldn’t feel threatened that some random hero can fuck better than him. He spent years learning how to please a partner. If he wanted to, he could make each fuck more mind blowing than the last. Maybe he will do that.

“Don’t care if she’s as straight as a fucking spring.” He grumbles. “I see her on you and I’ll kill her. I’m serious.” He’s sure that if he saw her anywhere near Hawks, he’d be seeing red. Can he be held responsible for his actions at that point? Probably not. He folds his arms over his chest, as if to punctuate the sentence with a final sulk.

-

Hawks makes a sound of amusement.

"Unless I spontaneously grow a vagina, you're never gonna see Rumi on me, hot stuff." It worries him a bit that Touya sounds completely serious though. He really doesn't want the father of his chicks in Tartarus.

He's so defensive though, it makes Hawks wonder if he's completely honest. If his mate thinks it's such a risk, what's his experience with casual sex?

"Anyone I should be looking out for?"

-

Touya huffs at Hawks’ stupid little joke. He knows what he means, damnit. His question, though, catches him off guard.

“The hell do you mean? Like, my past fucks?” Why would he care about those? “Didn’t have any long term people. Or are you looking for something specific? Cause no, you’re not the first man I’ve had, and no, you’re not the first hero I’ve had. First bird quirk, though.”

-

He's sort of expecting the pushback, and hoping his mate might draw a line from it. See that how he feels, which is obviously dismissive about his ex partners, is exactly how Hawks feels. Touya's his ma—

Not the first hero?

He what?

Hawks has to curb his initial response, because if he voiced it he thinks it would sound a little crazy. It's just that it's so unexpected. Touya hates heroes, always has. It can't have been another undercover gig, he said he just joined the LOV right before the avian showed up. Is he remembering that right? It's completely possible his mission wasn't the first crack at them.

So he tries to keep calm and casual about it.

"Yeah? Not your first hero, huh?" He hopes that doesn't sound as worried to Touya as it does in his head.

-

Touya quirks an eyebrow, surprised at the interest in that of all things. “No. Had people from all kinds of backgrounds and professions. Not any different, right? Didn’t take part in any hero Roleplay, that’s for sure. Least not the kind you’re used to.” He snorts and leans back in his seat, leveling a gaze on Hawks. “Why? You wanna ask something, I’m an open book.”

-

He thinks his mate is enjoying this, the way he sits back. Hawks wants to drop it. He really doesn't want to know, but Touya's suddenly over his jealousy. What did he say? That he needs to feel wanted? Maybe it's okay then, he is inviting questions.

"Who?" That's what's at the forefront of his mind.

-

Who?

Okay, yeah, that’s a weird question. Maybe he’s getting the wrong idea about this. “Mostly nobodies and wash-ups. Hawks— You knew what I meant when we talked about my history before, didn’t ya?” His reaction had implied he understand it clearly. “I used to fuck. For money. For survival. Not every hero’s got your reputation, and the commission ain’t willing to bend over backwards for every hero that isn’t up there in the ranks. Sometimes they’ve gotta work to keep their squeaky loving family man reputation clean. Pair that with some messed up desires and it leads ‘em to someone like me. With no voice, no power, and total discretion. You want names? I can give you a handful. But it don’t mean anything, does it? They were transactions. Nothin’ longterm.”

-

Mostly. Like there's more than one. A lot more than one.

That's hard to take because Hawks kind of thought he was special. His mate hates heroes so much, he just assumed he was the only one Touya ever wanted enough.

They were transactions.

That makes Hawks feel guilty, like total shit. He knows his mate went through some awful times, where he felt like he didn't have a choice or any options. It's just- he supposes it never occurred to him that his mate has fucked other heroes. He's morbidly curious about it. About who and how many and what messsed up desires looks like. He still remembers being told more than once that he didn't give Dabi what he was used to. That's why Hawks asked him tonight, to try and figure out what he was missing. He didn't figure it would be like this. And that would be even shittier to ask. What he did with Rumi was voluntary. Touya has every right to be uncomfortable with it.

"Yeah. You're right. I'm sorry you went through that." Maybe this conversation wasn't such a good idea.

-

Touya watches Hawks, waiting to see if he adds anything else onto that little apology. When he doesn’t, he shifts a bit to face him properly, bringing a knee up to his chest and coiling his arms around it. “Does it bother you? If you wanna talk about it, we can talk about it.”

-

We can talk about it. Right. Like they should definitely talk about his mate's trauma and make Touya feel bad and air it all out just because Hawks is feeling a bit of petty jealousy and insecurity. He's not that much of an asshole.

"If you want to, we can." he tries. Because he doesn't want to signal that he can't talk about it, either. He doesn't really know what to do with this.

-

Touya doesn’t know what that answer means. Would it disgust him to know more? Is he curious but feels like he can’t ask?

“It was mostly nobodies.” He tries. “Had a couple sidekicks with some stupid hero names that I’d have to really think to remember. One of ‘em was… Fuckin’…. Clover or somethin’, with a luck quirk. I did have one person of note. Long time ago. One of my first. Crust. Got higher in the ranks later.”

-

As soon as Touya starts talking, Hawks decides he doesn't really want to know. He's got this image in his head now of his mate in some hotel room, lying back while the door revolves. It makes him feel slightly sick, thinking about Touya going through that. What did he say? No voice and no power. He hates that. He was so stupid to think about asking. Of course Touya was vague about it all. He probably doesn't want to think about any of it. It just- it didn't seem real to the avian somehow, just the thought that maybe he had better partners who did better things for him. That's not it at all, is it?

Hawks nods. If Touya wants to talk about it, then he needs to be okay with it. He can't imagine how hard it was to go through that. He's not gonna let his mate feel like he has to hide it or something.

"Yeah. 've met Crust." He doesn't really know what else to say.

-

Touya hugs his knee tighter to his chest, unsure of what to make of Hawks’ reaction. Or lack of reaction. He asked, didn’t he?

“Is— Does it bother you?” He asks again tentatively. “It never meant anything. None of it. It wasn’t like it was with you. Not ever. And it was a long time ago, yeah? Six, seven, eight years ago.”

-

Hawks shakes his head. "No, you can talk about it as much as you want. Not gonna judge you, Touy. If you want someone to listen, I will." His mate looks so small like this, like he's waiting to get in trouble or something.

"It's okay. Even if it wasn't a long time ago. It's okay, yeah? You were in a shitty situation and you did what you had to so you could survive. I'm so grateful you're here with me, Touy."

-

Touya thinks he’s being honest with his reassurances. But this has him feeling uncomfortable and awkward now. Because he doesn’t know what that means for Hawks. If he wants to know about it or if he doesn’t.

“It’s all behind me.” He tries again. “Just— More fucked up shit I’ve done, y’know? It doesn’t stand out more than some of the shit I got into with the League, so… Y’know. It’s whatever to me. If you wanna know more about it. Or if you don’t wanna talk about it. If I’m lookin’ to get shit off my chest and clear my conscious, I’ll find a therapist.” He shifts again, releasing the chokehold on his knee and planting his foot back on the ground.

“I’m sorry I gave you shit. For the Mirko thing. It was stupid.”

-

It feels weird being told he'll find someone else if he wants to talk. Hawks doesn't want that, he wants to be whatever Touya needs. But he knows it'd probably be healthy for his mate to talk to a professional, even Doc's brought it up before. It wouldn't be right to discourage that idea.

It's whatever to me, he says like it's not a horrific thing that makes Hawks feel slightly ill. Maybe it's because he knows heroes were involved now? In his head he sort of thought if only he could've saved his mate. If only there'd been a hero there to help him. It just makes it even more messed up.

Hawks shakes his head. Sorry is the last thing Touya should ever be about stuff like this. "It's fine. I'm an open book for you, yeah? Whatever you need. And if you want to talk about it, a therapist is great. I'm here too. You've got options."

-

“I can’t read you right now.” He admits honestly. “I don’t know if it’s ‘cause you’re way over there, or ‘cause you’re trying to hide what you’re really thinking. But I don’t like it. I like to know where your head’s at and that you’re not in some— hero, crisis management mode to keep me calm about it while you’re internally tryin’ not to puke or something.”

-

He really wasn't trying to make his mate feel uncertain.

"Sorry. Yeah. Didn't mean to make you feel like that. Just started asking questions without thinking." He let petty jealousy get in the way of what he knew. "Wasn't trying to stir all that up for you. Just, I guess, wasn't thinking about how different it was for you. Assumed you had people you slept with because you wanted to. Shoulda known better. You've told me that before."

-

“Is that what you were lookin’ for?” Hawks really hadn’t been clear on it. He shakes his head and snorts. “I mean, sure. There were people I wanted to sleep with. And people I had fun sleeping with. But none of ‘em were heroes.” He scowls a bit. “You’re the only hero I can stomach. Fuck all the rest of ‘em.”

Touya bounces his knee idly, gaze fixed on Hawks. He doesn’t know what else to say here. “You do please me, y’know. What you said earlier. You always make me feel good.”

-

Hawks nods. He thinks it's a little sick that that's a relief to hear. Or maybe it would be sick if it wasn't? He has no idea how to navigate this or the feelings it's provoking.

So he nods. "I'm glad. It wasn't all horrible, I mean." God that's awkward. "Yeah but-" He's going to flub this. "Your other partners, the ones you enjoyed, it was different, wasn't it?"

-

“Different? Than you?” He asks, knee still bouncing. “Well, yeah. Of course it was different than it is with you.” Or is he missing what he’s getting at completely again? “You’re different than anyone I’ve ever been with.”

-

Touya looks distinctly uncomfortable and Hawks is very aware that he's not doing so great at this. He doesn't know whether to cut his losses or try to explain.

"I meant-" He sighs. "You said I don't- that I haven't got your experience." he tries lamely. "I wanted to know what I'm missing. What I'm supposed to do to make it better. I can only get by so long on the basic stuff, yeah?" Before he gets bored.

-

I wanted to know what I’m missing.

Touya deadpans for a moment like he’s trying to work out whether Hawks is serious or not. When he realizes he’s being deadass right now, he can’t help but huff out a laugh. “Baby,” He starts, pushing up out of his chair and padding towards him. “First thing’s first….” He plops beside Hawks on the ground and crosses his legs. “You’re not missing anything. The sex— It’s really good, Hawks. Really fuckin’ good. You don’t have to make anything better. Ain’t ever gonna complain about cumming multiple times every time you fuck me just cause you’re not pullin’ my hair.” He really doesn’t want Hawks to think he has to do anything to keep him interested.

“But yeah, it’s more vanilla than the stuff I experienced before you. Which is just about everything.” Touya shrugs. “You wanna know what kinda kinks I’m into? That it?”

-

Touya laughing at him makes it So Much Worse. Hawks gets to his feet because he really doesn't want to be on the ground right now.

For a minute he thinks it's okay. But then his mate agrees and his heart sinks. So he was right, he hasn't been living up to what his mate likes.

You wanna know what kinda kinks I'm into? That it?

That is what he asked before, when his mate brushed him off with some babble about who gets to top. He knew there was more to it.

Hawks turns around to lean against the railing and look down at the city. The avian shrugs. "Sure. I mean, if you want." Like he's not freaking out about it.

-

He’d come over to try and reassure Hawks with some closeness, but he’s up on his feet as soon as Dabi’s there, like he doesn’t want to sit side by side.

“If I want to? Ain’t that what you’re getting at?” He hums in consideration and leans back against the railing, gaze drifting up to the sky, which has quickly begun to fill with stars.

“Like the whole degradation and humiliation thing. Both ways. Felt powerful as fuck whenever I could call someone names and make ‘em feel like shit. Bonus points if I got ‘em blushing. Double bonus points if I could make ‘em cry. Guess I liked makin’ em cry, even if it wasn’t the degradation thing. Overstimulating was fun for that. Never got to edge someone else, but I bet that would be fun. Hate the latter on me, though. Quickest way to piss me off.”

He folds his arms behind his head. One the spot like this, it’s hard to really think about what he actually liked. “Got off a lot on the idea of using someone to get off. Like when I ride your face. Just- Only havin’ to care about myself and having someone so perfectly willing to let me have my way. If— If that makes sense. Uh. And I liked the somno-sleeping shit. Being fucked awake. Or fucking someone awake. Everything else— It was pretty standard sado -masochist kinda shit. Choking. Spanking. Slapping. Biting. Marking.”

“There was always the stuff with the ropes an’ shit, but honestly, that was way more trouble than it was worth. Preferred it impulsive and dirty…. I dunno. Is any of this what you’re lookin’ for?”

-

Touya's list is a long one, full of things Hawks hasn't even considered. It feels like- like he's only seen a glimpse of what his mate needs. Like there's this mountain of stuff he's missed and Touya never said a word. Are there other areas in their life like that? Areas where he hasn't been giving his mate what he needs?

Is any of this what you're lookin' for?

He nods. "Yeah." Specifics. The actionable stuff. Things he can do to make Touya happy. Hawks chews on that for several moments.

"How come you never told me? About all this stuff, I mean? If these're all things you like, why didn't you ever bring them up?"

-

Touya turns his head, craning to try and get a glimpse of where Hawks’ head is at. “I did. Here and there. When the urges came up. The first time was when I showed up, knocked up. You completely refused to be rough with me.” He teases, elbowing the avian’s leg. “But if I asked for things, here and there, you were more willing to give them. The biting. That time you spanked me into one of the best orgasms I’ve ever had. I could tell the rough stuff made you uncomfortable, so I was letting you build up confidence in it.”

But it’s not just about the giving, is it? “Same for havin’ you take it, too. If you recall, I’ve overstimulated you a few times now. And I fucked your ass with no regard for your well-being at least once. It wasn’t like I was gonna stroll up and say, Hey, by the way, I’d like to hurt you and make you cry the next time we have sex. Especially when you don’t even know what your limits are. And especially when I don’t need those things to be satisfied with you.“

-

Shit, Touya makes it sound like he's been tiptoe-ing. He's right. Hawks told him he didn't like the rough stuff. "But that was before I knew-"

He goes quiet though when Touya continues. He's right. He's been walking around wanting all these things while Hawks has been blissfully unaware thinking he's having the best sex of his life.

"Yeah but there's a difference between being satisfied and settling, and really enjoying it. Having fun, yeah?" He shakes his head. "I wanna do all those things for you. I can do them. You just have to tell me. I pick things up fast." God, now he sounds like a kid, too. Over eager and useless.

-

“Hey… Hawks, no, that’s not what I meant.” Touya frowns and reaches for the avian’s hand uselessly when he’s got his arms folded over the railing like that. He pushes up with a grunt and brushes his ass off before turning to stand beside Hawks, elbows on the railing.

“Baby. Sex with you— Nothin’ before you even compares. You know that, right? The kinky shit, it’s fun. Yeah. But it’s like… Adding spice to a dish. Doesn’t do much good if there’s nothin’ there to work with. Never knew what it was like to have real chemistry with someone until you. Even the sweetest, most vanilla sex we have is better than the kinkiest kinky sex I’ve had with anyone else. To assume I’m not enjoying it is fucking insane. I always enjoy it.”

-

Hawks nods. The reassurances help, he feels the same way about Touya. The whole connection thing, chemistry. He never felt that before his mate. He absolutely gets that. But he's not sure the whole kink thing is what Touya's describing.

"I don't, I mean, I know you like it. I know that. But all that other stuff, it's not my bag. It feels like there's this whole other side of you I don't even know."

-

Touya’s frown only deepens and he turns his head to watch Hawks for a moment as he tries to read his expressions. “I’m still me. There isn’t some secret side of me, baby. I told you I liked to play rough. You told me it wasn’t your thing, and so I didn’t push it. Whenever the urge really strikes me, I ask for it, and you always give it to me, don’t you? And even if you didn’t, or don’t, it’s not gonna ruin anything for me.”

-

"But I didn't know-" Touya's dismissing it, like his needs don't matter. "I didn't want to because I don't," Shit. "I just, I've seen rough and I thought... I didn't know it'd be like that. Sometimes, you've just gotta explain it to me. I want to give you everything you need, Touy."

-

Maybe Hawks is right. He has had it pretty vanilla, hasn’t he? So maybe the appeal of those things really never crossed his mind, and his disinterest was never really him being vehemently against it. Regardless… “I don’t need it, Hawks.” He insists gently, reaching over to take his hand.

“But if you’re interested in experimenting with them, with me, then we can do that.” Or maybe he’s missing the point entirely again. It feels like he’s been doing that all night. “Is that what you want?”

-

He's still saying he doesn't need it. But nobody needs to cum, it's just- a big part of enjoying yourself.

"I want to give you the things you like." he tries instead. Let Touya argue with that. "Yeah, I'm interested. I wanna be able to take care of everything for you. Just show me what you need. Or tell me, and I'll look it up. Just need you to tell me when I'm doing it wrong, yeah?"

-

Touya considers it for a moment. “Yeah. Okay. We can try some of it out, then. I can show you.” Maybe they’ll start that way. With Touya showing Hawks how it feels to be on the receiving end before letting him decide what he’s okay with. “Your tongue got all tied in knots when you tried to explain why you didn’t want it rough before. You got any reservations, we need to get ‘em out there before we do anything, okay?”

-

He sighs. It's good that his mate is agreeing but-

"No. None. As long as it's you. I trust you." The whole rough thing is a mess in his head. He doesn't think he could ever explain it to his mate. "I just, made some wrong assumptions. I didn't know you as well as I do now."

-

“What kind of wrong assumptions?” He presses. There’s probably nothing that could strike a nerve with him, especially knowing his own opinion of the hero wasn’t super great either, at the time. But he needs to be sure there’s nothing that can come up.

-

He sighs, shrugging. "Just assumptions. Been around rough people. Didn't want to bring that into the bedroom. Sex should be safe, yeah?" He has no idea how to explain that better without getting into uncomfortable things.

-

Touya tucks a piece of hair behind Hawks’ ear before gently running his fingers through it. “Has someone been rough with you before?”

-

Hawks huffs a laugh. "You're asking me that?" He looks up at his mate finally, watching azure. "How are you okay with those things? After how people have treated you? Doesn't it feel- wrong?"

-

“No.” He answers easily, holding Hawks’ gaze. “Look, I don’t know why the inner workings of my head are the way they are, and I don’t really wanna know. Some kinda messed up connections an’ associations in there, probably.” He shrugs. “I know what I’m about. Ain’t nothing wrong with liking what I like if you’re not uncomfortable playing along. You’d never leave me feeling worthless afterwards. And I’d never leave you feeling worthless afterwards, either. That’s really all I care about.”

Touya continues to run his fingers through Hawks’ hair, gently scraping at the avian’s scalp with his fingertips. “An’ just cause I’ve been through some shit doesn’t mean anyone else’s experiences are less, right? Nothin’ you wanna tell me?”

-

"You're not messed up." he frowns. "It's okay to like what you like. I just, I want to give you what you need. I'll never leave you feeling worthless, Touy. You're worth everything to me. You mean everything to me. Whatever you want from me, from this, I'm there with you, yeah?"

His mate though, he's not letting up. He's pushing still. Hawks sighs.

"I know. I know it's not anything less. It's not a big deal." He shrugs. "Had some shitty mentors when I was a sidekick, and grabby fans. Had a lot of violence when I was younger. You know that already. And, I guess the worst are the commission handlers. They own me." He huffs a laugh. "As long as I remember. Commission gives them free reign to do whatever they need to to keep me in line." He looks up at his mate. "Know what I mean?" Hawks shakes his head. "It's not like what happened to you. Always had food and safey and stuff. Doesn't even compare. Just- anything that edges on not being... mutual. It gives me the heebie jeebies."

-

Each word Hawks breathes is worse than the last. And then he has the audacity to say that it wasn’t as bad as what Touya went through. Like he can just compare the two and dismiss his own experiences because he had food and a roof over his head. Like it’s not a big deal.

“Hawks…” He doesn’t really know how to approach this. Or if he should even dig for answers to the questions popping up in his head. There are so many questions.

Just- anything that edges on not being… mutual.

“Did someone force themselves on you?” That’s the first thing on his mind with that closing statement. And certainly not the last. There’s a lot to unpack here. “Has anyone?”

-

Why is his mate looking at him like that? Hasn't Touya been through so much worse?

"It isn't a big deal." he huffs a laugh. "Part of my training." That's what they told him, that he needed to learn. They were right weren't they? He never would've managed if they hadn't taught him. "It's not a big deal, Touy."

-

“Hawks.” Touya’s face falls. “It is a big deal.” He brings an arm around Hawks and pulls him close. “That’s not fucking training. That’s assault.” And it’s no better than the same shit he went through. At least Touya knows what he went through was fucked up. They somehow manipulated Hawks into believing it wasn’t a big deal. Somehow that feels worse.

-

"It isn't." he insists. Touya pulls him close and his wings tuck in. "Look I just, I didn't like it sometimes." All the time. "There was lots of training I didn't like. Wasn't any different. I wasn't- was just saying, I don't like rough stuff." Because they were, rough that is. They told him he needed to get used to that, that he'd be on missions that weren't gentle.

-

“If you didn’t like it, and it happened, it was assault.” How can he not realize that? He has to realize it, deep down. Touya holds him tighter. “And there’s not a single, good reason for it to have happened. Training my ass. How do you train someone for that? It’s as— As traumatizing the tenth time as it is the first time. They fucking— Took advantage of you, Hawks.” They always take advantage of him. Touya just hadn’t realized how deep that went.

-

Touya hugs him like he needs some kind of comfort and the avian bristles a bit.

"I'm fine. It's fine. They haven't done anything like that since you came along, yeah? So everything's fine." Touya just doesn't understand. He had to be trained for everything. He didn't even talk well when the commission took him in. He doesn't know what it's like to have to train someone who never even went to school.

"It's good, yeah? You should," He sighs. "You're the one I'm worried about. I just- wanted to make sure I was doing good for you."

-

“Worry about yourself for once, will you?” Why is he the only one bothered by it? Why can’t Hawks see how messed up it is? “It happening while we’re together isn’t the concern. The concern is that it happened at all.”

Touya pulls away from Hawks and takes him by the shoulders to turn him towards himself, azure searching gold almost frantically. “You really can’t see how fucked up that is, Hawks? How anything nonconsensual gives you the heebie jeebies when that shouldn’t even have to be declared as a line? That should be the fucking default, Hawks. What they did— It was wrong.”

-

Touya's anger is making him really uncomfortable and no matter how many times he tries to change the subject, his mate just keeps pushing at it. It was training. It was normal. Like everything else they had him do. He doesn't need the Todoroki getting in his face about it.

"I can put down whatever lines I want." he snaps defensively, pulling away. "I'm fine. It's fine. We can stop talking about this now. Just because you don't understand doesn't mean it's wrong okay. It just is. Let it go."

-

Touya’s hands drop to his sides when Hawks pulls away. It’s— It’s actually insane. This is what insanity looks like. And he hasn’t even gotten into asking what other shit the commission does to him. What his handlers do to him. “Why are you defending them?” He asks helplessly.

What would the commission have to do to shake his faith? It’s fucking crazy. He shakes his head in total disbelief at his lover’s response to all of this. “This is- You’re being delusional.”

-

Hearing that, it breaks Hawks' heart a little. That his mate has so little faith in him and his judgement. Delusional? Is that what Touya thinks?

He gives the man a hurt look. "Why would you say that?" He listened patiently to Touya, didn't he?

-

Shit. Hawks turns that look on him, and Touya feels his heart sink. “I— Hawks, c’mon. Listen to yourself.” He reaches for him, hands hovering just over his arms. He’s not sure if Hawks wants to be touched right now.

“I don’t know where your hang up is. If your faith in the commission and the people over you is that unshakable, if they’ve manipulated you that fucking well—or if it’s that thing where you just— Can’t accept that anything bad ever happened to you because the number two couldn’t have had moments of weakness, but— But that’s what this is. A delusion. You’ve got to see that. You’ve gotta, somewhere in that head of yours. You’re not a fucking idiot. And you wouldn’t be saying the same shit if it was someone else telling this to you.”

-

Touya just keeps going. He doesn't let up. Hawks realizes that he's not going to. He's going to push this no matter how uncomfortable it makes the avian.

"It's not the same." he snaps. His feathers bristle, going edged like it'll ward off his mate's assumptions. "It's not. I had to learn. Just like everything else. I couldn't go out there and complete my missions if I didn't learn. I had to know how to fly. And how to talk. And how to fuck and use my feathers and swim and defend myself. I had to know how to speak english and charm a crowd and control an interview and track a mark. I had to learn how to fuckin' read and do reports and how to take a hit and take down someone bigger than me. I had to learn how to eat properly and not make weird noises or do bad things. I had to learn how to clean up a crime scene and get rid of a mark and how to- to-" He's getting worked up. "I knew nothing. I wouldn't have survived if they didn't teach me. I had to learn."

-

Touya lets him get it all out. He tries to understand his outburst. He really tries. But every word he breathes, it just screams delusion. That brilliant fucking head on his shoulders can never seem to think straight whenever they’re questioned. Even when they hurt him and assault him and do unspeakable things to him like they have since the day they dug their claws into him.

He’s not mad. Not now. Not after what Hawks told him. Well, he is angry, but not at Hawks. But more than that, he’s just…. Heartbroken. And disappointed. So disappointed. “Okay. I’m sorry.”

-

He's not sorry. Hawks is sure of that. He's just stopping because the avian got mad.

"You don't understand." Hawks tries once more. "If it weren't for them, I'd be dead, Touya. Dead. Not homeless. Not a villain. I just- wouldn't be here. No, it wasn't all perfect. It wasn't all rainbows. It hurt. I screw up, they punish me. And I cried. Until they taught me not to. But I'm alive. Isn't that worth something?" He's pleading now, for his mate to understand. He has to.

-

“I don’t understand.” Touya agrees, folding his arms over his chest. “I would be dead too, Hawks. If it weren’t for all those guys that fuckin’ had their way with me. But you don’t see me talkin’ about how grateful I am that they got me here. What if I say there listing all the good they did me? What if they told me they were also preparing me for what I’d have to face as a villain? Would that change anything?”

But Hawks doesn’t get it. He’s so fucking far into his brainwashing that he can’t even put them on the same level. Touya just shakes his head. “I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad you’re alive and I’m glad we have a life together now. But I’m not gonna fucking thank them for that. The only one I’m thankin’ is you, for doing everything it took to get here.“ (

-

His mate is angry at him again and Hawks has no idea how to fix that. If he knew how, he'd do it. But he doesn't, so he stays quiet, averts his eyes and hopes his mate's anger will snuff itself out. How did they even get to this? He never should've said a word. He just doesn't like lying to his mate, and Touya asked.

-

Hawks doesn’t have anything more to say about it. It’s clear that nothing Touya’s said has gotten through to him, though. That feeling of despair coupled with that overwhelming disappointment comes back. He’s not used to feeling this way about Hawks. He thinks there’s even a level of pity in there somewhere. Hawks would hate it if he knew that.

The arsonist pushes a hand through his hair. “Look. Whatever. You said it’s not a big deal, so…” It’s not a big deal. He can’t even vocalize that. He’s not that much of a liar. “Let’s just go get Ai.”

-

He looks up at his mate, gaze wary.

You said it's not a big deal, so...

It's not. It isn't a big deal. It was just training. It doesn't matter if he didn't want it. If they got rough. He had to learn.

Right?

Hawks nods slowly. "...you still want to?" With the way his mate keeps looking at him, it feels like being with Hawks is the last thing he wants right now.

-

Touya lets out a breath before answering. “Yeah. I still want to.” Because he’s not angry at Hawks. He’s just disappointed. And how can he fault a victim? He just— He wishes Hawks could open his fucking eyes instead of squeezing them shut to ignore the reality of his situation. But how can he help if Hawks doesn’t even want to be helped? All he’ll do is make things worse. “C’mon.”

-

C'mon.

Hawks nods hesitantly. Because he doesn't think Touya really wants this.

"You don't have to." He loves his mate, but he doesn't understand this reaction at all. He wonders if Touya's disgusted, now he knows that it's not him. That they trained him to do it. Is that why he keeps looking at Hawks like that?

-

“I want to.” He repeats, taking Hawks’ hand in his and giving it a squeeze. “Said we’d have family time, so we’re gonna have family time. Okay? Cozy in the nest.” Touya starts to gently lead Hawks back into the apartment.

-

He's not convinced, but he takes Touya's hand anyway, belatedly realizing his feathers are still sharp. Which is weird, it usually takes a conscious effort to keep them that way.

Hawks wills them into softness, pulling in a deep breath. He follows his mate back into the apartment and to their chick.

There's no balm stronger in his life than looking into their chick's eyes. Big and blue, with a calm in them like they know the world better than he does. Hawks reaches for him before Touya can because he needs his chick in his arms. He hugs the tot tightly, burying his face in his hair. The chick coos at him softly like he can sense his parents' upset.

-

As soon as they’re inside AI’s room, Hawks is moving past him to snatch up their chick, and hold him close.

Touya doesn’t say a word while he does his thing and seeks comfort in their so. He just folds his arms over the side of the crib and waits.

-

It takes long minutes to calm down, for his chick's soft cooing to rub off on him. Eventually, Hawks answers the little sounds with his own calls, giving Ai soft kisses when he makes the whistle Touya taught him.

Soon enough though, he's calling for Hawks' mate. Ai can never be without his other dad for long. The avian looks up at him, a pair of gold and a pair of blue staring expectantly at the Todoroki. Ai starts to bounce, wings going and arms stretching out for Touya.

-

The two of them are all little bird sounds, like they’re in a world of their own with a secret language of their own that Touya will never be able to understand. Whatever they’re saying at each other, it’s cute. He vaguely recognizes the little whistle he taught Ai interwoven into their conversation until, finally, he hears that special little chirp, just for him.

He straightens up like he was called by name, turning his attention on those two pairs of eyes staring at him. Touya’s not about to ignore Ai calling out to him, so he reaches for the chick, plopping his hand right down on top of his head and ruffling his hair. “Hey, little dove. I’m here.”

-

Ai of course reaches immediately for his dad, repeating the Touya sound over and over in what Hawks recognizes as a demand to be picked up. If that wasn't the dead giveaway, his little wings are, flapping enthusiastically like they might somehow propel him at Touya.

-

Touya snorts at the bossy little display, watching his little wings flap aggressively like he’s stomping his foot. “Bossy like your dad.” He mumbles, scooting closer to drag the two of them into one of his arms. Because he’s not entirely sure it’s a good idea to remove Ai from Hawks’ hold right now, when he’s clearly still feeling raw from all of their fighting. “There, there. How’s this? I’m right here.”

-

Hawks has no idea how to express how grateful he is that his mate doesn't just take Ai from him. He has no idea why, but he thinks if he had to watch them together while being off to the side, his edges might fray.

He leans wordlessly against his mate's shoulder as their chick coos at the Todoroki. Ai is all grabby hands and explanatory chirps that are probably telling some complex story about his dreams or something.

-

“That so?” He mumbles when there’s a pause in the chirping, only for Ai to continue on his little tirade. It almost sounds like a conversation, with Touya engaging in the gaps with hums of agreement. Even if the ex-villain doesn’t have half an idea what the fuck he’s saying.

Hawks is leaning into him, and Touya takes that as a good enough sign as any to start guiding him into the bedroom.

-

Hawks settles in beside his little family in their nest, but not before arranging and rearranging it. The motions are calming when he's feeling so on edge. He has no idea why he even feels this way. Because Touya's upset with him? It was that look, the weird one his mate kept giving him. He has no idea what it means.

Ai's little conversation doesn't stop, like he's demanding all of Touya's attention. Hawks wonders if he somehow knows about the new chick. Whatever it is, it prevents his mate from giving him that look again. It does nothing to change the growing unease in the pit of his stomach though.

-

Touya flops back into bed lazily as soon as he makes contact with it, laying Ai on his chest to continue their ‘conversation’. Probably definitely making Hawks’ job more difficult with his refusal to move more than a limb at a time.

When Hawks takes a little longer than usual to fuss with the nest, Touya turns his attention from his very important discussion with Ai to fix his gaze on his lover. And then he whistles, his little bird call that he taught their chick.

-

Ai of course copies it instantly and it feels to the blond like his family is calling him.

Hawks snugs up against his mate's side, pressing a quick kiss to the tot's chubby cheek as he makes himself comfortable. Touya's distracted with their chick, so there's no familiar flicker of warmth. He's not sure why, but Hawks needs it right now like an ache. His head feels messy and he keeps remembering that look on Touya's face.

-

As soon as Hawks snuggles up against his side to kiss their chick, Touya’s arm comes up around him to hold him close. He hasn’t said a word since they came back inside. He wonders if that’s intentional. “You okay?” He asks softly, giving him a little squeeze.

-

He nods wordlessly against his mate's shoulder, grateful for the arm around him. With Ai chirping away excitedly, he almost feels like it'd be interrupting them to say something.

Finally though, the circle in his head gets to be too much.

"What was that look you gave me?" He's sure Touya will know which one. Hawks balls up his hands, deliberately aggravating the sting of them. "What did it mean?" That he's disgusted? Disappointed? Upset?

-

Is that what he’s thinking about? The look he gave them? Touya’s really not sure what look he gave him, though he’s sure he’s got a good guess. It wasn’t intentional, but he’s never been great at masking his feelings once he’s comfortable enough to express them.

Those feelings come back when he recalls exactly what drew them out in the first place, albeit watered down when the three of them are cozied up in bed like this. He sighs softly and turns his gaze on Hawks, careful to keep his expression neutral. “I wasn’t mad at you, if that’s what you’re getting at.” He tries. Because he knows it’ll only upset Hawks further if he explains it any deeper than that.

-

So he was mad. Upset. Angry. Whatever. That sigh tells him that Touya views this as a waste of time. So Hawks shuts up, closing his eyes like he might be going to sleep. He doesn't want to think about this any more. It feels like anything he says will just upset his mate.

Their chick watches the interaction with interest, a little frown forming on his face when his dads don't pay attention to him. He lets out a little warning trill that's guaranteed to end in tears.

-

“Hey…” Touya starts when Hawks shuts his eyes and drops it. “Baby, I’m not, I promise.”

Ai chooses that moment to start demanding attention, and Touya gives it to him for a moment. “Don’t gimme that. This is important, Ai, okay?” He brings his other hand up to run through the little avian’s feathers in an attempt to distract him for just a little while.

“I don’t know what look I gave you.” He admits, turning his gaze back on Hawks. “Not even entirely sure what I was feeling. But I know some of it was… Maybe a little bit of disappointment. But mostly, I think I felt bad for you.” He knows Hawks won’t want to hear it. “Not because of the things that happened to you. Just— I don’t know.”

-

Hawks keeps his eyes closed, wishing his mate would just concentrate on Ai. He doesn't want to talk about this or think about it. He especially doesn't want his mate's pity.

Despite himself though, his mouth opens and words come out. "I didn't like it. But I didn't like a lot of my training, so it wasn't really any different." He doesn't know why he's talking about this. He hates thinking about it at all. Tuck himself in. Straighten himself out. Put on a smile. Leave his handler's office. Forget it ever happened. That's what he's supposed to do. Not bring it up and talk about it.

-

“Other heroes don’t train like that.” Touya points out. Just training. Like it isn’t a horrible violation of someone’s body and mental state. “Look. I’m not— I’m not going to argue with you on it. I know this— This is something you gotta work out on your own. If you ever choose to work it out on your own. But I’m here, if you ever wanna start.”

He pulls Hawks closer and plants a kiss to the top of his head. “There’s just. I don’t know. Seeing you getting defensive, making up excuses for them- It. It makes me feel bad for you. More than anything else could. Because what that tells me is that they’ve got you on such a tight leash that you don’t— You can’t even think about it and accept it and grieve it and move past it and overcome it. You don’t even got that freedom. And it makes me feel bad. So that’s probably what you were seeing.”

-

Hawks goes quiet, processing that.

You can't even think about it...

He turns his face against his mate's shoulder. "I don't. Think about it, I mean." the avian admits. "There's nothing I can do about it. If I start thinking about it, and all the other stuff, too much-" He shakes his head. "I just have to focus on other stuff. That I'm still here. I'm alive. Mom's alive. The plans are going well. We'll be able to move soon. We'll get it all tidied up and put Endeavor away." He wills his mate to understand.

-

Touya sighs softly and plants another kiss into Hawks’ hair, his hand idly preening Ai’s little wings to keep him preoccupied for a little while longer.

“I know I ain’t exactly a shining beacon for peak mental health. I don’t know shit about what’s good or what’s not. But I know, from experience, that keeping it all repressed in the back of your mind is only gonna eat away at you and it’s gonna dictate your thoughts when you don’t want it to. It’s scary to come to terms with shit, but there’s a level of freedom and empowerment in it, too. I don’t have to wonder if I liked it because I agreed to it, and I don’t gotta sit there and try and figure out what the fuck’s wrong with me. I can just— acknowledge that it was fucked up. That those people were fucked up. That I did what I had to and got the fuck out of there to somewhere better where I’ll never have to do it again. I can be angry with the people that wronged me and not feel selfish or guilty about it just because they kept me from starving another week.”

-

He opens his mouth to tell Touya it was different for him. He was alone and scared and had no choice. Of course he should be angry. Of course he finds it fucked up. But when Hawks tries to reason it out in his head, there are too many parallels. He wants to tell his mate that he never told them no. Not after the first time. After that, he never told them to stop, just tried to avoid it. It was his fault if he got caught. But he thinks Touya might say the same thing, that they were his customers. Hawks thinks it's different. Isn't it?

"Do other heroes really not train like that?" he asks quietly. He knows the UA kids probably don't, but he always assumed there were plenty of other commission trained heroes.

-

“Baby.” Touya murmurs, tucking Hawks’ under his chin. “No, they don’t. Dig into training records, do whatever research you’re comfortable doing. Look into your own training records, and you won’t find anything about it because it wasn’t supposed to happen. I swear to you, that’s not— That’s not training. It never was.”

He doesn’t know how the avian will respond to it if he feels like he’s coddling him, but he can’t help it. Because he’s been through it, too. He knows how it feels. In a way, maybe he knows it never hit him as hard as it’ll hit Hawks. Because a part of him always knew the people that had him never really cared. For Hawks, the commission was all he had. “I love you. I’ve got you. You’re not alone.”

-

Dig into it, Touya says. There's no point though, he's seen his records. There's a lot missing from them. His bird traits. Numerous training accidents and quirk healings. And yes, that training too.

"It's not in there." Hawks confesses. "But there's tons of thing that aren't in there." He's not really arguing at this point, more- talking it out.

Hawks opens his eyes, looks up at Touya. "I'm fine. Promise."

-

Touya hums and meets his lover’s gaze, the furrowed look of concern easing up when Hawks really does seem to be handling it really well. Maybe it simply hasn’t hit him yet. “Yeah, well. I love you and I’m here for you even when you’re fine. Don’t gotta be in shambles to have my support.” He teases gently, kissing the top of his head again. “And I’ll love you and be here for you even if you do end up in shambles in the distant future, so…”

But he’s getting off topic. The hand not playing with Ai’s feathers starts to mindlessly trace the lines of Hawks’ body. “Whatever else they don’t got records on is shit they’re trying to hide. Because everything official they do is supposed to be on-file, ain’t it? Sounds to me like they’ve got a lot to hide. Especially involving you.”

-

He's thinking too hard to be distracted by Touya's touch. Hawks isn't in any danger of falling apart right now. Not when he has his family close and Touya is calm and okay. But he's really thinking hard about the hiding bit. Because all of Hawks' targets are in those files. All of his abilities and rank history and everything else. But very little about any of his training. Nothing about his quirk and grooming routines or background. Does that mean there's another file? There has to be, because otherwise his handlers wouldn't be able to be effective, and he's been hearing the exact same things from them since he was a kid. So there has to be another file. A physical one maybe? How did he never think of that? He's gonna have to go ferret it out before the Endeavor shit hits the fan.

"Maybe." he agrees slowly, mind turning over.

-

Hawks wasn’t kidding about being okay. Touya can practically hear his brain whirring like a high-speed computer. Despite everything that’s happened tonight, Touya finds himself smiling a little. Because he’s gorgeous like this, when he gets so focused on something. He chooses not to disturb it this time around, because he thinks whatever Hawks has caught onto must be exceptionally important right now.

Instead, he turns his attention back to their chick, who has the cutest, laziest fucking expression on his face while Touya preens him with his quirk heating underneath. “Thank you, dove. So patient. Thank you.” He wiggles his fingers against his little wings playfully.

-

Hawks has added another to do to his mental checklist, to find the file. His handler has been hands off mostly since Touya came along, so he thinks it should be safe to raid her office. He'll have to be thorough. If there is something on paper, chances are madame president has a copy too. That'll be harder, but not impossible. He'll have to talk to the group, he's gonna need some backup for the latter.

By the time he's more aware of his surroundings, he finds his mate playing with Ai. The tot looks sleepy and content with Touya preening him gently. Hawks feels, for the first time, a little pang of- well not quite jealousy. Being left out. He actually kind of wants that too. To be perched on his mate's chest while Touya plays with his wings. Which is kind of left field, but seeing his chick enjoy it so much has Hawks feeling some kinda way.

He stretches one wing over his mate and chick, resting it just below Ai's wings, in easy reach for his mate.

-

Touya’s so preoccupied with Ai that when Hawks’ wing drapes over him, just under where his hands are toying with Ai’s wings, he thinks the action is a mindless one. Because he can’t think of a reason why Hawks would actively get in the way of him preening our son, or willingly put his wings anywhere near his hands.

He glances at Hawks, a grin on his face like he means to tease him about it, only to find his lover watching him almost expectantly. Maybe he’s jumping to conclusions, but it almost seems like he’s quietly trying to get in on the preening action.

Touya carefully slips one of his hands from Ai’s fluffy little wing into Hawks’ sleek one, gaze not straying from his lover on the very real possibility that he assumed wrong.

-

Touya just gets it. He loves this man so much.

He's careful and gentle, just like he was with their chick and Hawks realizes that he's not actually surprised that it feels good. If it's his mate, Hawks thinks he could make anything feel good. Not just good, but safe.

He emits a little coo and pushes his feathers into his mate's hand, encouraging him wordlessly. Touya looks uncertain, but for once Hawks is sure about this.

-

With Hawks’ reaction, Touya’s confidence grows, and his hand starts to explore the plumage resting underneath it. It’s different, with how much larger Hawks’ feathers are, and he’s a little clumsy with finding out where to start. There isn’t much choice but to do a single feather at a time, and so he starts there.

It’s less of the meticulous preening he’s learned to do for care purposes, and more of the light, playful, affectionate preening he does whenever they’re in bed like this; a plume pinched gently between his fingers as he drags his hand through, repetitive but not in any real particular order as much as he’s catching whatever feathers his hand happens to brush.

-

Hawks huffs out a long breath, relaxing against his mate's shoulder. All the practice Touya's had with Ai has paid off, he's handling the avian's feathers expertly. The only thing that would make it better is—

"Quirk?" he questions softly as he slips an arm around Touya and their chick. He's practically half on the man now. Between he and Ai, Touya has two birds perching on him. Lucky they're light.

-

“Mm, now you’re just being greedy.” He teases half-heartedly. He doesn’t even wait to finish the accusation before his hand is heated nice and warm for Hawks’ feathers. His chest is already warm from when he began trying to settle the demanding tot. Hawks has probably caught onto that, too, if the way he’s practically clamoring over him is any indicator.

“Like this?” He asks, pushing his fingers through Hawks’ wing like he’s done it a thousand times. Like this isn’t the first time he’s been allowed to do it. Like his heart isn’t all aflutter because he’s wanted to do this for so fucking long.

-

Hawks hums a sound of pleasure. There might be a coo in there too. He's too blissed out to notice.

"Mm. Just like that." His feathers flex under his mate's hand, spreading and stretching. "You can go a bit harder. Mine are stronger than Ai's." He can feel every slide of Touya's fingers shivering up the shafts of his feathers.

-

Touya gives it a little more pressure at Hawks’ encouragement. Honestly, it hadn’t felt like he was doing a whole lot; Whenever he brushes Ai’s feathers like this, they get a little mussed up only for him to smooth them out again. With Hawks’, they’re— Well, stronger, like he said. They move with his touches, but only slightly, and they fall back into place easily. With more pressure though, he can start to recreate a similar little pattern; Pushing them out of place and smoothing them out again. Pinching and brushing and stroking.

“Your wings are beautiful.” Is that a weird compliment? “I mean- You’re beautiful. All of you is beautiful. But I never get to admire your wings like this.”

-

Hawks sighs happily at the feeling. Why was he so against Touya touching them? He's always been protective of his wings, but his mate would never hurt him. Hawks thinks it was silly of him to worry. Especially when it feels so good. He's pretty sure it's only because it's Touya.

I mean-

He snorts softly. "You're the beautiful one." One golden eye cracks open to watch up at him. "They're just feathers, yeah?" Those hot fingers are heavenly. Hawks lets out another soft coo, a shudder going through him when his mate pinches the shaft of a smaller one.

-

“They’re more than just feathers.” Touya grumbles. “They’re the most expressive part of you.” He notices the little shiver and tries to recreate it, going after the same, little feather before pushing down, closer to the base of his wing where there are more, small feathers to torment.

“They’re soft.” He notes. Strong, and sleek, but soft, too. He likes the way the bristles feel against his fingertips. “His feathers gonna grow more like yours? They’re so fuzzy right now. Hard to imagine.”

-

Touya's picking this up way too quickly, the man seeking out the soft down under his wings with pinpoint accuracy. He squirms a bit, lifting the appendage to make it easier for the Todoroki to reach. It's- surprisingly good. Like really good. Like, he wants more good.

"Mm-" The sound is distracted. "He's just got down right now. He'll grow in his proper feathers when he's older." Their chick is mostly fluff, but the quills will start to crest when he's a toddler if Hawks remembers right.

-

Touya leans in to press a kiss to Hawks’ hair. It’s funny, how he was so opposed to having his wings touched and now he’s practically melting into it. “Mm.” He imitates the distracted sound and kisses him again, a little grin on his face.

“So what changed? Suddenly wanted me to touch your feathers.”

-

Hawks leans up to meet his kiss, craving the affection. He's not sure why it feels like that, maybe something to do with the stuff they were talking about? Like he's peeled back another chunk of the mask. And somehow, it leaves him feeling weirdly safe.

So what changed?

Hawks sighs up bit, turning his head to watch up at his mate. "Dunno. Just- watching you with him, I guess. He likes it so much when you do that."

-

“Yeah?” Touya’s grin widens. “Fuck, you’re cute.” Seeing Ai like the affection and wanting it for himself, too. “He also likes when I do this.” With his palms heated, he pushes his hands into his feathers, completely submerged in scarlet as his fingertips drag across his wing bones. Okay, maybe he doesn’t do it exactly like this, but that’s only because Ai’s wings are so tiny, he has to settle for little pinches with his fingers.

-

Hawks lets out a little trill, the sound cut off by a groan. Every feather ruffles, a quiver going through them as they stretch to their full span. Only Hawks' room and the living room are big enough to accommodate it, just barely. Ai peers up at his father's looming wings in sheer fascination.

"Wha- haa - Touy-"

-

Okay, he wasn’t expecting that reaction. Not in the slightest. Now that he’s gotten it, though, he feels a little hungry for it. Fuck, his name sounds so good when Hawks says it like that, on the end of a trill. And there’s something so deeply satisfying, seeing Hawks’ huge, powerful wings quivering like they can’t handle the touch.

“Hmm?” He feigns innocence, repeating the action again. “Something wrong, baby?”

-

Hawls almost flinches the second time he does it, sweeping his wings down to dislodge his mate's hand. He bites back the sound the man tries to drag out of him, sending Touya A Look.

"Oi. That's enough." His feathers bristle and he rolls over just to get them out of reach. "C'mon, he's right there." Ai blinks at them, making a valiant effort to roll over so he can see better. Hawks grabs him before he can unbalance himself.

"See what you did." he scolds his mate mildly.

-

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Touya says, maintaining his innocence. “I was just touchin’ your wings. Ain’t that right, dove? Papa was just playin’ with daddy’s wings.” He reaches for their tot, a shit eating grin on his face. “Not my fault if you’re getting carried away.”

-

Hawks rolls over, taking their chick with him as he gets up and backs up a couple steps.

"I don't think so." Ai trills in his arms. "You're a bad influence. Messing with a bird's feathers." He sends a little coo at his son and the tot chirps right back. "Us birds gotta stick together." Hawks shakes his feathers out like he's trying to shed the memory of the sensation and huffs.

-

“Oi, don’t run away.” Touya bitches, rolling onto his side to give Hawks a look right back. “You liked it.” He accuses before pushing off the bed, fully intending to go after them. “My birds gotta stick near me. ‘Cause… Cause I say so. C’mere, asshole.”

-

Hawks gives him a look. Ai blows a raspberry at the Todoroki. The avian grins and blows one of his own.

"Birds don't like you, Dabs. Playin' with their feathers." Ai blows another raspberry, bouncing excitedly. "We're having ourselves a mutiny." he teases with a grin. "Right, baby feathers?" Their chicks coos his agreement.

-

Touya scoffs and straightens up to his full height at their audacity to double-raspberry him. God, he just wants to pin them down and kiss their faces. And then raspberry right back. What are they doing to him?

“Birds…” He lunges for them, arms outstretched, “Love me playin’ with their feathers.”

-

Hawks shrieks comically, ducking away from his mate's scary grab.

"Run awaaaayyy-" he giggles, holding Ai out so their chick can 'fly' as he dashes to the other side of the room. Ai flaps his wings excitedly, trilling in probably the highest pitch Hawks has ever heard him use. "I've got you, baby feathers. I'll save you from daddy!"

-

“Ai’s gonna be like a prince under my rule.” Of course, Touya’s expecting it, so he manages to catch himself from falling forward as Hawks ducks out of his way just in time. He spins around after righting himself and chases after his lover again. “The only one you need to save is yourself, pretty bird. Can think of some punishments for-“ He makes another grab for him. “You!”

-

The avian cackles, easily dodging his mate and Ai lets out a peal of excited laughter interspersed with urgent trills. Hawks helps him zoom, weaving away from Touya again with a victory whoop.

"Prince Ai is free!" Hawks sing songs, "Free as a bird to flyyyy-" He does a little spin, wings out for their chick who tries to imitate him, stretching out his tiny fluff covered ones like they'll catch the wind.

-

Yeah, okay. Dabi’s not exactly known for his lightning fast reflexes. Or his athletic abilities. But the absolute ease with which Hawks weaves past him in this little game of chase has his competitive edge coming out. He snatches a pillow in one hand, and a throw blanket in the other as he follows them.

“Not for long.” He threatens, chucking the pillow at Hawks’ head. When he inevitably ducks away from it, he whips the blanket at him in an attempt to blind or otherwise slow him down for a precious second to close the distance between them.

-

Hawks ducks the pillow and throws up a wing to shield his chick from the blanket. He sticks his tongue out at his mate as he backs away.

"Now that wasn't fair. Coulda hit the prince." he scolds. He knows Touya knows he'd never let anything near their chick, but he gives his mate the stink eye anyway. "Birds gotta be free, firefly. Needs space to flap our lil' wings." Hawks unfurls said lil wings, taking up his entire side of the room. He holds Ai up and their chick does the same, imitating Hawks to a T with his tiny white wings and little birdy glare.

Which promptly breaks into a gurgling coo and a demand for Touya, tiny hands outstretched for his dad.

Hawks gasps. "Betrayal-"

-

The two of them essentially T-posing aggressively at him in unison with their wings out has Touya grinning. Fuck, he wants to kiss those dumb faces.

Apparently, Ai also wants his dumb face smooched, because the excitement is quickly overtaken by his little Touya-chirp, his tiny arms coming up to reach for him, and Touya’s sure for a moment that he’s never melted for his son the way he does right at this moment.

“Mutiny’s overrated when it means givin’ up your heater, doesn’t it?” The arsonist teases, strolling over now that he’s won by default. He bends down a bit to bring his face right up to Ai’s hands. “Is that right?”

-

Their chick makes little grabby hands for his mate, pulling Touya in to give him clumsy kisses and burbling Touya-chirps. Hawks dissolves into laughter as the tot showers his dad with affection. He's pretty sure his heart is gonna burst from how sweet the two of them are together. Ai has two handfuls of soft, white hair in a deathgrip as he leaves drooly kisses all over the Todoroki's face.

Hawks surrenders with a dramatic sigh. "Never starting a revolt with you again, baby feathers." His wings drop from their pose, still arched out in a display though for his mate as he leans to to add to their chick's kisses, trying to avoid the drooly spots. "Lucky you're both so cute."

-

Admittedly, Touya doesn’t often shower their chick in affection the way Hawks does. He seldom kisses him aside from the occasional peck on the top of his head. He doesn’t usually get the violent urge to press kisses all over Ai the way he does with Hawks. But after their little chase, all that adorable flapping and chirping, and after how easily Ai had given it up in favor of wanting him, Touya’s heart feels full in a way he wasn’t expecting, and he finds himself returning the kisses as best as he can. All over his cheek and nose and forehead.

When Hawks joins in on the kisses, he starts to go back and forth between the two of them; A kiss for Ai, a kiss for Hawks. “He’d make a terrible villain. We sure he’s mine? Not a rebellious bone in his body.”

-

His chick is a flurry of clumsy kisses and happy Touya chirps, turning his head to try and see each kiss his dads drop on him. Hawks chirps right back, smothering his family in all the affection he can manage. Cause if he doesn't get it out, he might just explode.

"He's definitely yours." Hawks teases with a laugh. "Have you seen how demanding he is. Definitely your kid." the avian teases cheekily.

-

Touya grins and plants a kiss onto Hawks’ mouth. “I ain’t demanding.“ He complains half-heartedly. “He’s only demanding ‘cause you spoil him.” Another kiss. “Fuck, I love you so much. Asshole.”

-

The blond snorts, returning his kiss before giving his mate a grin.

"So you're demanding because I spoiled you, is that it?" He huffs. "No more birdie cuddles then. No more kisses." He nuzzles their chick. "Hear that, baby feathers? No more birds for daddy!"

-

“Wha- Wait. No. Better fuckin’ not.” Touya grumbles, scowling a little. “We already established I ain’t demanding. Gimme another kiss.”

-

Hawks cackles. "You ain't demanding but demands a kiss, huh?" He gives his mate a flirty grin. "If you want one so bad," Hawks takes a step back. "Come and get it, firefly."

And then he's off, zipping back towards the nursery with Ai.

-

Touya’s just about had it with his mischievous lover fucking evading him. He stomps after him, out of the room, through the hall, and into the nursery.

“Not playin’ anymore, pretty bird. Seriously considering those punishments.” He threatens, leaning in the doorway.

-

Hawks stops by the crib and plants one more kiss on his chick's forehead. The tot sends up a tired coo.

"All tuckered out now, aren't you baby feathers?" he coos quietly at his chick. "Be good for dad and sleep, yeah? Gotta go look after your other dad cause he's demanding."

He leans into the crib to put Ai down, settling him carefully just the way Touya showed him and handing him his little ducky.

He stands up and leans his back against it, flashing his mate a grin.

"Punishments, huh? This one of those kinks or what?" He waggles his eyebrows at his mate in what Hawks intends to be an enticing fashion.

-

“Fuck around and find out.” Touya teases, smirking at the ridiculous eyebrow waggle. “Gotta admit, you gave me some pret-ty interesting ideas earlier, though. Moanin’ my name like’ that when I played with your wings.” Ohhh yes, Touya’s head is filled with thoughts of Hawks bent over while he holds onto his wings.

His smirk only widens into something more lecherous.

-

Hawks' own smirk turns predatory, not the least bit worried by his mate's threats.

"Fuck around, huh? That mean I need to piss you off more?" His wide smile shows canines and his wings perk in anticipation.

-

“You look entirely too excited by the prospect of pissing me off.” Touya says, pushing off of the doorframe and stepping into the room to close the space between them. “Don’t be a little shit. C’mon. Gimme that fuckin’ kiss.”

-

Hawks has nowhere to back up to where he is, so he sidesteps to the end of the crib and back towards the room's big window.

"Maybe I wanna know about these punishments." His canines flash in his grin. "Maybe I'm a curious bird."

-

“Maybe they just involve burning your feathers off until you look like a plucked chicken.” He grouches, not slowing down in the slightest as he follows him deeper into the room.

-

Hawks backs up a step for every one his mate takes forward, like some weird dance.

"You love my feathers." he teases. "You'd miss them if you burned them off." His grin goes crooked, revealing an edged tooth. "'Sides, you'd never hurt me, Touy. You're soft for number two."

-

“On the contrary, Keigo.” Touya’s voice drops low as he takes another step forward, only for Keigo to back up. “I would very…” Another step. “Very…” And another. “Much like to hurt you.”

His smirk widens, azure flickering dangerously. “But surely number two’s got more self preservation than to give me any good reason to do it. So be a good little bird, and Come. Here.”

-

Golden goes wide for an instant before Hawks eyes pin and he sucks in a breath, sharp and unsteady.

"Yeah?" A shudder goes through him, starting in his shoulders and ending at the tips of his primaries. "You gonna hurt me, Dabi?" There's not the slightest worry in him that the Todoroki would do him any harm, but there's a look in his mate's eyes that reminds him of something dangerous. And his bird fucking loves dangerous.

-

“Until you’re crying my name.” Really, Touya didn’t think Hawks would be into the idea of the arsonist hurting him. He’s so fuckin’ soft. And he went so crazy for the praise that he wasn’t sure Hawks would ever act like a damn brat when Touya could be calling him his good little bird instead, but his expression looks positively hungry for being forced into submission.

“You got three seconds to come here yourself.” In other words, he’s got about three seconds to decide whether he really wants to give Touya permission to hurt him in any sense of the word. Otherwise, it’s game on. “Three….” He’s so close now. Just a few more steps and he’ll have Hawks in his hold. He stalks forward slowly with each number. “Two…”

-

Until you're crying my name.

"Sounds more like a promise than a threat, hot stuff." he sasses back with a snap of his teeth.

When Touya starts counting down, Hawks backs up the last few steps until his butt hits the window ledge. It's already ajar, just one quick feather and he can be up and out of it. He angles his body towards the gap, golden fixed on Touya.

-

Hawks apparently has no intention of coming closer, and Touya’s known to play dirty. He doesn’t even count to one before he’s lunging forward to make a grab for him.

-

Oh, he could dodge his mate. Touya isn't fast, or slick. He's stronger now, with the regular meals and such, but no match for the number two hero when he won't go full out with his flames.

Or he wouldn't be, if Hawks didn't wanna be caught.

He hesitates just a second too long. Long enough for Touya's hand to close around his arm. He jerks back reflexively but there's nowhere to go. Hawks lets out a little trill halfway between alarm and excitement.

-

Touya’s not sure if the hesitation was intentional or not, but either way, it’s enough. As soon as he’s got Hawks’ arm in his hold, he’s twisting the man around, a hand coming up to grip his throat with just the slightest amount of pressure, and maybe just enough heat to raise alarm without burning his skin.

The other hand has his arm twisted behind his back, and he leans in to snarl into his ear. “Unless you want some nasty burns for the world to see, I’d suggest giving me your other wrist, nice and compliant.” He pauses for a moment before adding, “And givin’ me a safe word while you’re at it.”

-

He's got to hand it to his mate, the man does know how to subdue a target. He's got Hawks' chest against the edge of the window and his arm in a lock and a hand around his throat. Normally, if someone has a hand around his throat, the avian has a feather at theirs. But this is different, an edge of a thrill only augmented by his mate's heat. Another tremor goes through him and he sucks in a sharp breath, licks his lips in what can only be a nervous gesture. He's nervous? Not afraid. But yeah, nervous. His body is buzzing, every sense on high alert.

He already reaching his other hand back to Touya when the Todoroki asks for a safe word.

"Wait, what's a safe word?" He tries to crane his neck to send a curious look at his mate.

-

What’s a safe word?

Fucking hell, he’s joking, right? The very experience number two hasn’t even heard of a safe word. Touya deadpans at him for a moment, trying hard not to break the illusion before shaking his head.

“A safeword…” He starts, loosening his grip on his wrist only for a second so he can reposition and take both of them into his hand, “Is an emergency stop button. So you can cry about how it hurts all you want, and I won’t slow down. But the second I hear the safe word, it’s hands off, full stop, instantly. Could be anything, but it should sound outta place.” How the hell doesn’t he know what a safeword is?

-

"Oh." Touya's grabbed his other wrist while he was distracted, so Hawks peers over his shoulder. "Why would I need a safeword? You're not gonna hurt me?" It's comical to even think his mate would. Touya likes to look scary, but he's a big teddybear underneath. No one scary could be so gentle with their chick.

-

Okay. Maybe they’re not quite on the same page.

“I was gonna hurt you a little.” He says seriously, leaning forward to meet Hawks’ eyes. “Was gonna play a little rough with you. Shit, thought we were on the same page. If you don’t want that, tell me now. Otherwise, I need a safeword in case it goes too far outta your comfort zone.”

-

His head tilts, watching his mate.

"Yeah, but you wouldn't hurt hurt me. M' a hero, used to getting roughed up." Didn't he tell Touya not so long ago he didn't want to be roughed up? It's just so exciting in the moment. He never thought this could feel exciting. Maybe because it's his mate? It has to be. He'd trust Touya with his life.

Hawks hums. "Okay. You can hurt me a little." He lifts his chin, holding his mate's gaze as he gives Touya a good view of his hand wrapped around the avian's throat. He watches his mate, golden dark. "Chicken. Safeword is chicken."

-

Hawks’ faith in him is endearing, and Touya wouldn’t betray that in a million years. No. No, he would never hurt his lover. But pain and pleasure can get messy. He thinks Hawks is underestimating how it feels to be hurt at all while vulnerable and underneath someone else.

But he gives him an affirmative; He can hurt him a little. And maybe he even seems excited about it. “Chicken. Got it.” It’s important to have that little exchange, even if it’s a bit of a mood killer. He’s gone without safewords before, when he really needed one, and he isn’t about to let that happen to Hawks. Not in his care.

Touya seamlessly slips back into the role, squeezing down on Hawks’ throat and yanking him up by it. Really, he would love to start dishing out the punishment like this, but he’s painfully aware of their chick cooing away in his crib. So he straightens up and starts to yank and shove Hawks out of the room and into their bedroom with zero regard for his comfort. “Move.”

-

He gives his mate a quick smile at the confirmation. There's something comforting in it. Touya sees him right now. Despite what they're talking about, the blond has never felt more safe.

The expression is wiped off his face when his mate shoves him toward the door. His hand tightening makes Hawks' heartbeat kick up, pulsing in his throat. He throws a quick glance at his mate, confirming their chick is sound asleep. He has no idea how Ai crashed through that, but their little bird is sleeping soundly. Which lets Hawks concentrate on his mate and the new, weird feelings he's provoking.

They stumble together out of the nursery, Touya shoving him ahead.

-

Once they’re in the bedroom, Touya turns them again so he can sit on the edge of the bed and manhandle Hawks face down across his lap.

“Really tryin’ to piss me off with the way you were challenging me earlier.” He growls. Despite the little role he’s playing, his heart is racing with excitement. He’s never dated to lay a hand on Hawks before. Today, he might actually play around with his hands and his quirk, see if he can make the avian tick the same way he ticks. “If you’re gonna act like a brat…” He yanks Hawks’ pants down, just underneath his ass. “Then I’ll treat you like a fuckin’ brat.” As far as punishments go? It’s cliché. But he hasn’t done anything like this in ages, and he needs to get into the right headspace. Besides that, he thinks it’ll get him really riled up to see his lover’s ass bent over and red.

He lifts a hand before bringing it down on the other man’s ass with a loud crack. Unlike when Hawks spanked Touya before, he doesn’t hold back the first blow. He does, however, pause in anticipation, attention focused on the other’s reaction.

-

The bedroom he's expecting, the over the knee bit, not as much. Hawks has to work not to giggle, their little chat about safe words having mostly derailed the- he's not sure what to call what he was feeling? Excitement? Anticipation? He's still excited, just in a lighter sort of way.

When he's face down over his mate's lap though, Hawks feels his pulse kick up again. It's a really prone position, leaving his wings fully bared to the man. He knows Touya was gentle with them, and he knows he can trust Touya. But if his mate starts in rough on his wings right now, Hawks is gonna say chicken quicker than a hungry dude in a drive through-

He's confused when his mate yanks his pants down. Is he gonna prep the avian? He's downright surprised when Touya lands a hand on his ass, letting out a yelp of shock.

-

Touya gives Hawks a moment to recover from the shock of being spanked, especially as hard as he was. He doesn’t utter the word, though, so he has to assume that it’s not putting him enough to want to quit just yet.

“Thinkin’ ten for each cheek. What do you think?” It’s not a whole lot, but the he’s not sure Hawks has ever had a good smacking before. The stinging only gets worse with each hit.

He doesn’t wait for an answer before he’s bringing his hand down on the same spot a second time. “There’s two. Gonna take it like a good boy, aren’t you?” He rubs a heated palm over the reddened skin, soothing it as best as he can for a moment before raising his hand again. “Count the rest for me. Out loud.”

-

The second one seems to spank the shock right out of him, the sting making Hawks squirm a bit on his mate's lap. He's not sure he likes this. It's not awful or anything, he's just not sure it's good. Ten doesn't seem so bad, he can stick it out to make his mate happy.

Gonna take it like a good boy, aren't you?

There's already blood rushing to his head because he's head down ass up, but the praise has his cheeks heating for an entirely different reason. And when Touya's warm hand massages out the sting, he finds himself a bit tongue tied.

Count the rest for me. Out loud.

Hawks nods because he's not sure of his voice in the moment. He's prone and he's helpless-ish and Touya wants him to count? It's downright humiliating except- he really does want to make his mate happy. He wants to be good for Touya.

-

Touya brings his hang down a third time, groaning at the way Hawks squirms in his lap. Fuck, they’re not even halfway through and he’s already getting turned on. Maybe he’s easy, but having Hawks bent over his lap like this is making him feel some kinda way. He shifts slightly, parting his legs a little bit to maybe, subtly get some friction on himself whenever he makes the other squirm before continuing the punishment.

-

He almost forgets he's supposed to be counting when Touya lands another impact on his bare ass. His skin is smarting and this is starting to feel really embarrassing. He wonders if his mate is even enjoying this, he's not sure he quite gets this the way he did when they were playing their game of chase. This is downright embarrassing and he's not sure he really is being good for his mate.

And then Touya's shifting under him, obviously trying to be subtle. But it's not subtle at all because he knows exactly what his mate is trying to hide by doing that. He knows Touya's body well enough by now to identify his turned on squirming.

"Three?" he breathes like he's asking a question.

-

Three?

He sounds so meek counting it out. Like he’s not sure if he’s doing it right. Touya rewards it with more soothing heat, fingers kneading his reddened skin. “Just like that. Takin’ it so good for me.” His voice is maybe a little bit husky. Having Hawks over his lap like this is effecting him more than he thought it would. Fuck, he wants to hurry this up.

The next spanks come out less harshly than the first few as he quickly gets through the first set.

-

That little bit of soothing and praise is all Hawks needs to get through the rest of the ten. His head is swimming a bit by the end of it, face burning and breath coming in little pants. He's not sure what's wrong with him, maybe it's the anticipation of the next impact or the burning, swollen feeling off his ass, but it's making it hard to think about anything but Touya holding him up and the sensation of his mate's hand on his skin.

-

The sound of Hawks’ ragged breath coupled with the excitement of doling out the unfair punishment has Touya needing to taste him. It’s unlike it’s been with anyone else. He’s never cared about his partner’s comfort through his own arousal, and he’s never wanted to take a short break to be intimate with them.

He leans down, to press a kiss to the avian’s temple, his mouth too far of a reach in this position. “There you go. Halfway done, baby. Can do the rest for me, can’t you? Such a good mate for me. Count again from one.” He peppers a few more kisses into his hair before straightening up and shifting his attention onto the other cheek. Just like the first, he begins to rain each smack down to watch it redden more with each consecutive hit.

-

He doesn't know how badly he needs the little bit of affection until Touya doles it out. His reassuring kiss and soft words are everything to Hawks, settling the avian. He slumps into his mate's hold, no longer trying to keep himself still.

Can do the rest for me, can't you?

Hawks nods, releasing a short coo. He can do that. For Touya. Because he's a good mate. When the Todoroki starts again, it's more of a struggle this time to get the words out, tongue clumsy around speech when his head is swimming and so focused on his mate.

-

And just like that, they get through all twenty. Touya rubs a hand over his ass, murmuring mindless praises as he gives him a moment to recover. And maybe gives himself a moment to admire his handiwork. Fuck, he wants to be inside him. Sort of counter productive to the whole… Making a baby thing, but hey. He’s not sure Hawks will mind. The avian looks half out of his mind already.

He slides his hand closer towards the cleft of his ass, thumb dipping into it teasingly. “You remember where we put the lube?“ It’s a request. He really doesn’t want to step away from Hawks to go rummaging for it when he’s got him right here, perfect and ready to be prepped with his fingers.

-

Hawks doesn't actually notice when it stops. His head is a mess of sting and heat and he's a little dizzy from being upside down over his mate's lap. It isn't until he starts talking again that the avian refocuses.

The lube? He's not sure. Wait, he is. It's in the dresser. Isn't it? He thinks it is. Hawks sends a feather. It's not pinpoint accurate like it usually is, thudding against the dresser drawer before ferreting it open.

He manages to get it to Touya, albeit not with his usual grace. He's boneless and his head is swimming, he's never wanted to be held as much as he does right now.

-

Hawks doesn’t say a word, but a clumsy feather comes by with what he’s looking for. Touya makes a grab for both the lube and the feather, dropping the former to the side and pressing a kiss to the feather in his hand. “Thank you, baby.” He mumbles into it before letting it go. The arsonist leans in to press a kiss to Hawks’ hair once more.

“How’re you feeling? Wanna keep going?” He hasn’t uttered the safe word, but he might be holding out since he doesn’t seem to be experiencing any sort of panic or distress. It doesn’t hurt to check in, does it? Make sure Hawks wants more as badly as Touya does.

-

Wanna keep going?

He's not sure what he wants. He wants to be held. He wants Touya to tell him he did well. Because he did, didn't he? He bore them all? Or maybe there's more? Touya said it'd hurt, but it's not the sting that's making his head spin.

"...yeah?" He can do some more, if that's what his mate wants. He's fine, just a bit lightheaded.

-

…yeah?

It’s phrased half as a question. Like he’s not sure if he wants to keep going. Honestly, he doesn’t seem to care for the rough treatment the way Touya does. But it’s not a no. And Touya’s really fucking turned on after all of that. Maybe he’ll give him a little longer to see the appeal of it. And if he’s not into it after that, well, then they don’t have to do it again. “Let me know if that changes. Remember the safeword, don’t you?”

He rubs Hawks’ stinging ass once more before grabbing the lube again and popping it open to coat his fingers in it. It’s all very routine, the way he starts him on two fingers instead of one. Partly because he knows Hawks can take it, and partly because this position is perfect for it. He sinks them in, right down to his knuckles.

-

His mate is all business. Hawks really hoped for some more of that soft stuff before he starts again. It doesn't really hurt all that much but his head is weird and it feels like only Touya can make it better.

For some reason it doesn't register why his mate wanted the lube until he's two fingers in. The intrusion drags a startled sound out of the avian but he's instantly, achingly hard, like his body was primed and waiting for it but he just didn't know it. It feels strange being fingered open when his ass cheeks are still hot and stinging. Strange but somehow good. He lets out a groan, squirming on his mate's lap not sure whether he's trying to ease the stretch or fuck down on them.