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The haze of sleep instantly cleared as the normally warm metal of Diluc’s vision was cold in his grasp. Kaeya had hoped it was a nightmare. But no. He was awake. He knew he had to be, because the crushing weight squeezing his chest couldn’t be anything but real. And if it was real, then he really had lost his whole family; both of them. One family abandoned him in a foreign nation in the middle of a storm and the other left him alone and went somewhere he couldn’t follow.
~~
Jean may have put a limit on his drinking, but she very well couldn’t stop Kaeya from doing his job. If he sometimes didn’t bother to dodge a particularly hard hit or pulled insane stunts to get the job done that was his business. Jean could give him disapproving looks and lecture about not being reckless as much as she wanted. As far as Kaeya was concerned, he didn’t have anything left to lose. And he was too much of a coward to do it himself anyway.
~~
It wasn’t the first time Kaeya had woken up in the Cathedral with no memory or how he got there. This was, however, the first time he woke up to Jean having passed out leaning on the bed he occupied. The normally put-together woman quite frankly looked like a mess. Her hair was barely in its ponytail anymore and the circles under her eyes were so dark it almost looked like she was punched. He shifted slightly and immediately Jean’s head shot up.
“Kaeya! You’re awake! Hold on, I'll get Barbara!” Jean uncharacteristically ran off calling her Barbara, leaving Kaeya quite confused. Both women returned a few seconds later. “Captain Kaeya! How are you feeling?” Without waiting for a response the deaconess activated her hydro vision.
“I’m feeling fine,” Kaeya responded, “what happened?” Jean looked at him shocked. “You don’t remember,” she whispered, her voice sad.
“I’ll leave you two to talk,” Barbara swiftly left the room and closed the door behind her.
“Kaeya, what’s the last thing you remember,” Jean asked carefully. Kaeya focused on the last concrete thing he could remember.
“I remember going to Angel’s Share.” He said slowly and wracked his brain for anything after that before waking up here in the Cathedral. The man sighed. “I don’t remember anything after that though.”
“Kaeya…” Jean breathed out a half-sigh half-sob.
Jean didn’t usually make it a habit to visit Angel’s Share. Today was different though. Today was Kaeya’s 20th birthday… as well as 6 weeks since Diluc’s vision- no since Diluc himself died (it was hard to reconcile those two facts being the same thing at times). She walked into the tavern and scanned the room for the blue-haired captain.
“Acting Grandmaster. What can I get for you?” Charles looked surprised to see her.
“Has Kaeya been here?” Charles’ expression turned confused for a moment before it softened. He either hadn’t realized the date or forgot its significance.
“No, I haven’t seen him all day.” Jean felt her stomach sink a bit. She had seen how quickly Kaeya started drinking after Crepus died and Diluc left Mondstadt. Without wasting another second she ran out of the tavern to Kaeya’s apartment.
“Kaeya? Kaeya, are you there,” she knocked loudly on the door. A minute passed and she heard no sound from inside. Jean fished the spare key he’d given her out of her pocket and unlocked the door. “Kaeya?” Jean called out to him one more time. She frowned at the silence. Jean was sure if he wasn’t at the tavern that Kaeya would be drinking alone in his apartment. She took a few more steps into the darkness with her hand running along the wall for the light when she stumbled over something. The dread pooled in her stomach as she crouched down to see what it was. Jean didn’t bother taking off her shoes as she rushed further into the apartment; to Kaeya’s bedroom. When she opened the door she found Kaeya surrounded by wine bottles.
The blonde dropped to her knees by his side and immediately called on the power of her vision. The man groaned as the wind swirled around him.
“No! I don’t wanna… don’t wanna be ‘ere anymore. Luc and Father ‘re waiting for me.”
Jean’s heart broke at Kaeya’s protests. She knew he was hurting but she didn’t know it was this bad. After a few moments Kaeya’s struggling stopped and he passed out. Jean hauled him to his feet and began the task of getting him to the Cathedral.