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KAOTIC ZIMMINGS
Dark clouds rolled.
Lightning crackled.
Evil maniacal laughter echoed sending fear into the hearts into anyone who heard it.
Well, nearly everyone who heard it.
“Glumshanks!”
The unusually tall troll could only sigh - though he was careful not to do so in front of his master. “Yes sir?” he tonelessly asked.
“Turn off the lights, I am in the middle of something very important”.
“But Sir” Glumshanks tried to warn him “you won’t be able to se-“
“Just do what I say” Kaos snapped.
Defeated and too tired to care the lanky minion blew out the candles.
“Ahhh!” the short boss screeched “I can’t see. Glumshanks turn it back on, back on I say”
Glumshanks wasn’t allowed to say ‘I told you so’ nor did the knowledge that he was right give him any joy so instead he tiredly struck a match and relit the candles.
“Behold, my genius” the bald portal master continued unabashed “You know how we always seem to lose to those Skylosers, Glumshanks?”
Glumshanks didn’t think that saying ‘yes’ would be wise. He thought that saying ‘Are they Skylosers if they don’t lose’ was less so. That left him with the only option of silence.
Fortunately, Kaos wasn’t looking for an answer. The question was meant to be rhetoric after all.
“I have finally figured out why all of my plans have always ended in failure”.
Glumshanks took a careful step back to remain outside of the short being’s immediate range.
“It’s my incompetent minions” the black robed man swung his arm, swinging where Glumshanks was standing previously “they just can’t comprehend all of the intricacies of my super-genius”
The troll wasn’t of the same opinion, he has to somewhat frequently meet with the minions for inventory purposes and some of them seemed - well, not nice (if they were nice why would they serve someone who routinely calls themselves evil) nor decent (hygiene doesn’t seem to be priority for some) – but well, Glumshanks couldn’t think of the term. There might not be a term for it, but the minions weren’t terrible. There was Larry, Laurel, Dave (not Dave really, nobody really liked Dave – he stunk), Laugon…
“But I have a solution to this” Kaos unintentionally demolished that little train of thought.
Glumshanks felt fear in his tiny, abused heart. If this solution was like any of Kaos’ other less successful plans, then there would only be more problems. More chaos.
“I just simply need more minions that are like me.”
Glumshanks felt his heart stop. “More like you”
“Yes, exactly”
Glumshanks racked his brain for anything he could say to erase this notion “But the one of you is already so, ah, great and so ,ah, powerful”
“Oh, I know” Kaos wasn’t the slightest bit bashful. “But imagine the sheer awesomeness that there would be if there were two of me, three, a dozen…”
Glumshanks wondered if the Skylanders took refugees and if they did, would they help him?
“But Sir” Glumshanks tried one more time “if you clone yourself how would we, um, less genius minions be able to tell you apart”.
“Oh, I’m not cloning myself.”
“You’re not?”
“No, if I cloned myself, I wouldn’t exactly have minions now, would I?”
That leaves the question “Then what is it, Sir?”
“Behold, my power” Kaos jumped onto the rim of the portal in the centre of the room. It glowed an eerie blue.
“Sir?!?” Glumshanks ducked for cover behind one of the tables.
“I’ll just summon an underling to do my bidding.” Kaos seemed to giggle before remembering the prescience of his most faithful servant. “Glumshanks, pass the potion.”
On the table that the troll was hiding behind, alongside the books and stacks of paper, was a single round glass flask which contained a viscous green substance.
“Yes, yes, that’s the one” Kaos yanked the bottle out of Glumshanks hands, popping the cork and tossing it somewhere behind himself.
There was a crashing sound, but Glumshanks didn’t have a chance to check it as Kaos started pouring it in.
Green touched blue and turned it pink – Glumshanks like all trolls wasn’t good at magic but he knew some theory through sheer exposure to this master’s many. Many, MANY ‘experiments’. He had no idea why pink of colours turned up, but Kaos seemed to expect this as his laughter turned louder.
“Behold” the pink light glowed brighter and brighter until it was blinding.
Then there was darkness as every source of light went out.
Light returned a moment later and the blue portal was no longer empty.
It looked like a bug. Antenna twitching, large red eyes and green skin (a shade lighter than the average troll). It wore a pink tunic and had a strange device on its back which gave off faint pink light.
And its voice was dreadfully familiar.
“Who are you?” the bug screeched pointing one of three fingers from its gloved right hand.
“Who am I?” Kaos, this thing’s master, was vastly offended “Who are you?”
“I asked first.”
“Well, I asked second.”
“I’m taller” it declared jumping down only to blink in surprise.
Kaos and the bug were the same height.
Glumshanks was somewhat awkwardly standing tall (though slouching) besides them as he watched the two continue bickering while completely ignoring his existence.
“Ha!” Kaos laughed “You’re short” Not realising that he, himself, is also just as short.
The bug growled and from its device long metal spikes emerges. They bent as they touched the stone ground and raised the bug above Kaos. “Ha, who’s short now shortie?”
Glumshanks observed this and concluded that this bug’s dominion was probably the Tech Element.
“Glumshanks!” Kaos shouted.
The troll sighed and went on all fours to act as a stool. Small feet dug into his back, but Glumshanks was used to this pain and didn’t make any sound.
The bug raised themself higher.
“Up, Glumshanks, up” Kaos commanded.
Glumshanks grunted as he shifted Kaos’ feet to his shoulders and rose on shaky knees.
The bug’s metal spikes act like a bunch of spider’s legs as they crawled up onto the portal’s edge. “Ha, Zim is tallest now.”
Kaos kicked Glumshanks’ shoulder “Up, up, up” he urged with waves of his hands.
Glumshanks struggled with the moving weight as he slowly crawled his way up the portal.
“Ha, Kaos is taller”
They were the same height.
Zim leaned on their back legs as the front two lifted up to show glowing pink sparks. “No one is mightier than Ziiiim!”
“Ha” Kaos hands light up blue as he summoned magic to his palms “You underestimate the might of Kaaaaaaoooooooos!”
Glumshanks knew that today was going to be a long day and once again he wondered if the Skylanders would take him as a refugee.