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1-800-SAN-LANG

Summary:

Xie Lian’s best friend is a phone sex operator and he honestly doesn’t think too much about it.
Until he realizes the voice Hua Cheng uses with him is his bedroom voice.

Notes:

Thank you Okami for your magic words that gave me the juice to write this

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Xie Lian had lived long enough to decide that most things that were traditionally frowned upon, like tattoos and piercings and PDA, weren’t actually that big of a deal. People would say what they wanted and as long as the people involved were happy, what did it really matter?

So when he’d found out his best friend worked a phone sex hotline, there had been no judgment in his mind. In fact, he’d even thought Hua Cheng must have been wonderful at such a line of work! After all, his normal speaking voice dripped with cool disinterest that was definitely sexy enough to entice callers. And Xie Lian knew his friend could do a range of voices since when they spoke just the two of them, Hua Cheng’s voice always dropped into something lower, richer and soothing. Whatever his sex hotline voice was must’ve been a real hit!

Besides, Xie Lian thought the whole thing was very clever. Apparently as long as he could multitask and stay quiet about it, Hua Cheng could do his digital art while talking with clients! What a good use of time! It had helped the man keep a steady source of revenue while pursuing his art the way he’d wanted and since he could make his own hours, he could cut back any time he wanted to focus back on a bigger translation project for a couple months.

Of course, he knew it wasn’t a perfect job.

San Lang: Three piece of trash clients in a row, can gege distract me?

You: Another one trying to hang up immediately?

San Lang: No, he’ll keep my call rate up at least. He’s just managing to hit every kink I hate servicing

You: I could come over and cook dinner?

San Lang: I wouldn’t want to bother you gege, it’s just a few bad calls. I’ll be working late tonight anyways, I have appointments with my regulars

You: It’s no bother! Even more of a reason for me to come over and make sure you eat

San Lang: You might hear me working

You: San Lang, I’m sure I’ve heard worse

San Lang: Maybe, but gege hasn’t heard me fake an orgasm

Xie Lian’s face heated picturing that.

San Lang: If you’re sure though you have a spare key <3

***

Xie Lian tried to come in quietly, a pleasant chill running down his spine when he heard the voice Hua Cheng reserved for people who pissed him off.

“You think you can just cum and hang up on me?… That’s what I thought. You’ll touch when I say you can,” Hua Cheng’s voice oozed disdain, but his expression was mostly blank as he focused on the piece he was working on.

Xie Lian did his best not to eavesdrop as he waved to let Hua Cheng know he’d arrived, watching the endearing way his friend’s face lit up as he smiled back before his gaze slid off to the side to degrade his regular.

Taking a deep breath, Xie Lian headed to the kitchen to cook as quietly as possible so he didn’t get overheard on call and definitely not because he was still eavesdropping.

***

“Thank you again for dinner, gege, you can just leave the dishes,” Hua Cheng said, eating quickly between calls.

“It’s alright, I can do them. I wanted to stay a bit longer and borrow your woodcarving supplies anyways.”

“Ah so the real reason gege visited is revealed,” he teased. “What are you carving?”

“I wanted to make Mu Qing a gift for his promotion. I can pay you back for the wood.”

Hua Cheng shook his head, voice kind and fond, “I’m happy that someone can get use out of it, you know I haven’t carved anything in months. Anything in my home is yours.”

“You’re always too good to me.”

“If I’m being too good anyways, shall I invite gege to stay the night so he doesn’t have to commute back late while I’m at it?” Hua Cheng leaned against the table, flirty and tender like it was second nature to him.

“I won’t be interrupting?”

Hua Cheng shook his head. “I’m happy you came. The night is much improved by gege’s presence. Do you at least want headphones while I work though?”

“Is the next regular especially intense?” Listening to Hua Cheng dismissively boss around his last two regulars had been… an experience. He had long wondered what sort of voice Hua Cheng put on during his calls and now he knew.

Hua Cheng shook his head. “The next one is one of the rare ones that actually asks for a boyfriend experience. After that it’s two more degradees and then I’m off.”

It occurred to Xie Lian perhaps Hua Cheng actually had multiple voices he used on his calls. Surely the boyfriend experience didn’t involve the same voice he bossed callers around with?

This was confirmed as he listened to Hua Cheng pitch his voice in that agreeable and friendly way he did when he was trying to get on the good side of Xie Lian’s friends, albeit with much more panting involved.

Xie Lian carved his present for Mu Qing, fell asleep in Hua Cheng’s bed, and altogether felt Very Normal about knowing this.

He wondered what Hua Cheng’s default sexy voice was.

***

The thing about coming by Hua Cheng’s house while he worked more often was it put him in the unique experience of hearing Hua Cheng’s side of every single call he took.

And he learned a lot about Hua Cheng’s routine or technique or whatever you wanted to call it.

Most crucially and mind breakingly, he learned what Hua Cheng’s default phone sex voice was— the affectation he put on when he wasn’t sure what the client wanted yet.

And. Well. Haha. It sounded a lot like how he talked to Xie Lian.

Which would’ve been totally normal if Xie Lian could think of any other person he’d ever heard Hua Cheng sound like that talking to.

But nope. Just Xie Lian and apparently every caller he wanted to play into the generic erotic audio fantasies of.

And he had thought a lot about just asking Hua Cheng about that but there was no way he could think to ask it that didn’t sound like he was hoping for or implying something.

And maybe he was.

So, after the ninth night listening to Hua Cheng talk strangers to climax— half the time using the same voice he had seemed to exclusively use for Xie Lian before, he needed a plan.

His plan was, perhaps, bad.

“You want me to call Hua Cheng’s hotline and request him so that you can listen to me talk with him because you think he’ll recognize your voice if you call?” Shang Qinghua raised a brow.

“Also, you’ve met San Lang and heard him speak to me and I want to know if you think his voice sounds. Hm. Familiar.”

“Familiar? Oh you mean how he puts on like a sexy bedroom voice whenever he’s talking to you?”

Xie Lian felt his heart run a lap around his rib cage.

“Yeah sure what should I tell him you’re into?”

“What?”

“For the call? Like when he answers, what am I supposed to be asking for?”

Xie Lian had definitely thought that far ahead, the problem was he still didn’t know. “San Lang always says callers with a voice kink are the easiest. The ones that just want to listen to him talk while they get off.”

Shang Qinghua opened his mouth to respond to that only to shake his head. “Sure, what’s the number again?” Dialing it, Shang Qinghua seemed completely unbothered as he went through the process of putting in his payment information and connecting with ‘Crimson’.

“Hello there, I hope you haven’t started without me,” Hua Cheng’s voice came through the line, rich and lovely and very much the way he sounded on the phone with Xie Lian.

“Couldn’t start without you,” Shang Qinghua said casually as he set down the phone to go back to typing.

Hua Cheng’s responding laugh was beautiful, but definitely fake, though perhaps that was only so obvious because Xie Lian had heard so many laughs from him. “I’m so glad. Are you settled in somewhere comfortable?”

These were Hua Cheng’s usual openings when a customer wasn’t giving him much to work with but didn’t seem to be trying to pull a cum and disconnect, but now, hearing it from his place on the floor through the phone speaker, Xie Lian realized it was also the sort of thing Hua Cheng usually asked him too. Which was fine. It was a completely normal question.

Just a normal thing to ask.

“Mhm. You have such a pretty voice Crimson, can you just talk to me?” Shang Qinghua didn’t sound any more interested than he looked but Hua Cheng had probably had worse clients.

“Of course. Is there anything I should call you?”

Shang Qinghua seemed to snicker at something before saying: “Gege.”

And that’s how Xie Lian knew he was doomed.

***

Xie Lian sat as still as a monk, pillow in his lap as the call finally ended.

It wasn’t exactly the way Hua Cheng spoke to Xie Lian every day. For one, there was a distinctly superficial air to it that Xie Lian was pretty sure he only noticed because he’d spent years basking in the sincerity of his best friend.

For two, it was more tentative and searching, not in a way that made Hua Cheng sound hesitant but in a way that Xie Lian knew meant he was puzzling out the right reaction. The right words. He didn’t do it very much towards Xie Lian anymore but he had.

When they’d first become friends.

And Xie Lian wasn’t dense. He knew Hua Cheng flirted with him. But he’d always just called it joking and teasing, even when it started to fluster him— no, especially when it started to fluster him.

“Yeah that’s definitely how he sounds around you, I’ll message you what the charge was so you can reimburse it,” Shang Qinghua said casually. “Thanks for not jerking off in my room by the way.”

“Why would I…”

“Xie-Xiong, I know the pillow on your lap isn’t because you were in need of a lap warmer.”

Xie Lian stood, awkwardly thanked his roommate for the favor, and went to his own room to die.

So what did it mean when the friend who openly and obviously favored you and gave you special treatment also used his sex voice on you every day from day one?

Xie Lian pulled out his phone and dialed.

“Gege?”

Xie Lian closed his eyes to prevent a full body shudder.

“Are you alright?”

“Mn. I was just. Curious about something. Are you busy?”

“No, I was between calls anyways. What is it?”

“…Have you ever gotten a call from someone you know at work?”

Hua Cheng laughed. “Gege were you in the room when your roommate called just a minute ago?”

Xie Lian really would die here. Right here on this shitty mattress.

“If you wanted to hear me talk all you had to do was ask. Gege has a free pass anytime.” The line was, if he was honest, half genuine, half teasing. A bit silkier than his normal Xie Lian voice the way it got whenever he really wanted to play up his flirting.

Xie Lian put his modesty pillow over his face, considering the benefits of suffocating. “Sorry. I just wanted to test something.”

“Oh?”

“I wanted to see if I was right about something so I needed someone else to hear you work.”

“Did you get what you needed?”

“En. Qinghua agrees.”

“Do I get to know what about?” Hua Cheng sounded so endlessly fond and playful.

“Your sex operator voice is the same voice you use with me.” Xie Lian spat out in a rush.

And was met with silence.

“…San Lang?”

A sharp breath on the other end let him know it hadn’t gone dead. “Gege I really had no idea I was doing that, if it makes you uncomfortable… I’m sorry.”

“It doesn’t it… I like San Lang’s voice. All your voices.”

Unfortunately instead of hearing any of them Xie Lian just got more silence.

“Are you still there?”

“…I’m not trying to act around you. Gege, you know when I’m playing around, I really never considered that the way I instinctively talked to you was so similar to the voice I use with clients.”

“It is but it also isn’t. You don’t sound fake with me. Even when you play it up.”

“I’m not,” Hua Cheng said sincerely. As if so much hinged on Xie Lian understanding that.

“But other than when you’re trying to sound seductive I’ve never heard you use that voice. I suppose I sort of thought it was unique to interacting with me. Which is silly because I think most people don’t have different voice for different people.”

“Gege does.”

“What?”

“When you talk to friends or strangers you speak differently. I think it’s normal to do that.”

“That’s true.” Xie Lian took a breath. “So then what would it mean that San Lang naturally defaults to sounding like he’s trying to seduce me?”

Another pause. Another breath.

Then, voice tempting and sweet: “Is it working?”

Xie Lian shoved his face back in the pillow, his answer muffled by it.

“What was that gege?”

“Yes, San Lang, don’t tease.”

Hua Cheng let out a shaky, giddy laugh on the other end. “Gege, is it too late to invite you over?”

Xie Lian considered the boner that had yet to leave. “I can’t go outside today.”

“Can I come to yours?”

“Don’t you have more calls?”

“I can take a night off if it means more time to seduce gege.”

Xie Lian thought if he had to handle the full in person force of Hua Cheng doing this on purpose he’d explode. “You still have the spare key I gave you?”

“Of course.”

“I’ll see you soon.”

Hua Cheng’s laugh was breathless and so full of joy that Xie Lian found himself laughing too.

He couldn’t wait to hear that laugh in person.

Notes:

Inspired by the fact my friend wanted to watch the English dub and we both agreed it sounded like the voice the VA chose for HC was “phone sex operator” and the worst part was I didn’t think that was a bad choice for HC interacting with XL