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The soft fabric of the cloth was getting frayed, however, Yuyu continued to run it over the metal. She glided across the charm with the help of the wax, slowly and steadily polishing it; almost like a caress. The repetitive action prevented Shirai from being distracted by unnecessary thoughts, leaving her focused on her task.
Even if… she wasn't around anymore to praise her for her good work, the lily couldn't let that gun gather dust in a random closet. And much less would it feel good to see another using the Brionic as if it had never had an owner.
She knew it was egoist of her. Not that it was surprising, Yuyu was a selfish person after all. Still, she couldn't bring herself to just let Moyu pluck the charm from her warm fingers. The fact that the object was a weapon didn't matter to her, that was one of the few things about her that she had managed to keep besides her memories.
Shirai took a breath, letting the warm air coming through the window fill her lungs. She didn't know what time it was, whether it was morning or evening, how many meals she had missed. None of that mattered as long as she had her fingertips on the icy surface of the metal. The chill that came from the charm kept her stuck in the now, despite it being surrounded by memories.
Yuyu couldn't be stuck in the moment she lost Mizusu if she was too busy cleaning the Brionic. There was no way she could get lost among fragments of memory; she wouldn't see flashes of gray locks blowing in the wind above her, wouldn't crave a heated touch on her cheek that she could no longer have, wouldn't feel her lips tingling for a kiss that hadn't even been laid there.
The sting in her eyes began to hurt, making Shirai realize that she had stopped moving the cloth over the already shiny metallic surface. That's because her arm was still, for if it depended on her blurred vision, she wouldn't even understand what was happening.
It was with an uncomfortable and suffocating tightness in her chest due to desperation that Yuyu grabbed the fabric again, fervently wishing she could return to her inert state of mind. However, even though she was holding it, she couldn't bring herself to move her hand.
What was stopping her from going back to cleaning that gun? Maybe she was pretending not to know. At that moment, she didn't even try to think about possible motives. No, the pain was so much in her cracked heart that she couldn't even think. The sound that looped in her head was similar to a Huge's roar, and the scent that flooded her sense of smell was metallic and decomposed.
An agonized whimper escaped her throat, causing Shirai to shrink; intending to hide from a creature that wasn't there in her room in Yurigaoka, but trapped inside the dark corners of her mind. She felt warm liquid running down her face, yet her purple eyes couldn't see it yet — they were too cloudy to let her see what was really going on.
Not that she wanted to go back to reality. After all, she no longer had the one person she considered special to herself. If that was her new truth, Yuyu didn't know if she wanted to live.
“Onee-sama...”
The tears that slid down Shirai's cheeks fell onto the metal of the charm, slowly accumulating as the lily poured out her sadness. And there they would stay until the young woman could go back to cleaning the Brionic, thus starting her mourning cycle again.